Chapter 329
The Pop Up Parrot Game
“Master, master!” The resident slime girl called for me as she excitedly pitter-pattered across the true throne room and came to a sliding stop right in front of my desk .
“Hey Shii, what’s up?”
“I never told you, but I’m really good at copying voices! Listen to this!” She giggled mischievously . “First is, ‘I love you Lefi,’ and then ‘A-as do I . I-I love you too . ’”
ASDK?FHASDKG&ASDR!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!?
Fortunately, I wasn’t in the middle of drinking anything . If I was, I definitely would’ve ended up spraying the contents of my cup all over her .
“…When exactly did you learn how to do that?”
“Uhmmmm… a while ago! And I know that when I try to sound like Lefi, I have to sound really embarrassed! She’s super duper shy . ”
The imitation was on point . It was so accurate, in fact, that I’d scanned my surroundings for the silver-haired dragon to confirm that it really wasn’t just her . While I was startled, my confusion didn’t last . It didn’t take me too long to realize that Shii probably hadn’t just imitated her voice . The faultless imitation likely stemmed from copying Lefi’s vocal chords . Just slime things, I guess .
Wait, that first voice was supposed to be mine, wasn’t it? It sounded a bit weird since I’m not used to hearing myself like that, but if Lefi’s was perfectly spot on, I guess mine probably was too .
Whatever the case, it was plain as day that the slime had put plenty of effort into her parroting act . Perfectly imitating both our voices and mannerisms wasn’t something that could be done without long-term, careful observation of the target that one wished to duplicate .
“I can copy Nell and Lyuu too . Wanna hear it?”
“Uhhh… as impressive as that is, I think I’m going to have to pass,” I said awkwardly .
A part of my hesitation stemmed from confusion . I had no idea when Shii had overheard Lefi and I sharing in a moment of such intimacy . Okay, maybe I do . But I swear we normally keep ourselves out of sight when we flirt like that! How the hell did she manage to copy us so perfectly!?
“Shii, could you do me a favour and seal that ability away for good?”
“Huh? Even though I sound like everyone?”
“Yeah . In fact, that’s kinda why . It really just makes me want to beg you to stop . ”
Her ability was capable of hitting me straight in the heart with guaranteed critical hits . It was so effective that I had to stop her before I found myself permanently disabled .
“Ohhh… I do it all the time for Lefi and Nell, so I thought you might like it too!”
“Uh . What?”
“Lyuu tries not to ask me for it, but she’s really really happy when I do it for her anyway!”
Girls pls… Y’all needa get bonked .
Though I was facepalming internally, I made sure to note that I was going to have to go out of my way to pamper Lyuu . I wanted to help her build more confidence in order to ease her inferiority complex and make her more assertive . It went without saying that I didn’t let either thought show, and instead masked it all with a headpat .
“I was really surprised by just how good you are at that . You’d make a great voice actress . Hell, if you put your mind to it, you could even be the very best, like no one ever was . ”
“Voice actress? What’s that? Is it a job?”
“You got it . It’s an amazing job about breathing life into things with the power of your voice . ”
“Wow! You really think I can be one?”
“Of course, but you’ll need to practice lots . ”
“Okay! I will!”
A Japanese-esque subculture did not exist, and nor did any of its associated roles, but I was still fairly certain that an equivalent existed . She could very well be a puppet master and use her voice to give her characters additional personality . Actually, that’s not even a bad idea . She could probably put together something incredible if she had the triplets help out by possessing the puppets . Hmmm… I should probably get them to give it a shot sometime . That sounds like something I’d want to see for sure .
As I thought about Shii’s talents, I came to a sudden realization that could not be overlooked .
“On second thought, there is something I want you to do . Could you repeat after me, in Lefi’s voice?”
“Okay!”
“Alright, here goes . ‘Howdy Pardner . Ah’m y’alls Supuhrareem Derragon, Leficios . ’”
“Howdy Pardner . Ah’m y’alls Supuhrareem Derragon, Leficios . ”
L O L
“Not bad, not bad at all,” I said between fits of laughter . “You sound just like her . Alright, next, ‘Naw’t even a proud ass derragon laik me’s able to do much of anythang at all, uhyuk!’”
“Naw’t even a proud ass derragon laik me’s able to do much of anythang at all, uhyuk!”
“Pffffffftttttttttt” I bent over in an uncontrollable fit of laughter . “That’s hilarious . You’re a great actor, and you’re super duper good at making people smile . Alright, now say, ‘I am sorry . I shall do whatever I must to please yo—’”
“What is it that you are doing, Yuki?”
A chill shot up my spine as I heard Lefi’s voice . And not from Shii . Reluctantly, I turned around with all of the agility of a rusty robot . Oh shit oh shit oh shit!
“Whatever it is, I see that you are enjoying yourself . ” The glare she was giving me was the coldest I’d ever seen from her .
“How long have you been here?” I tried to plead innocent .
“I have been observing since you began to instruct Shii in the art of ridicule . ”
“A-alright, calm down, Lefi . Don’t be rash, and take a deep breath . ”
“I fail to see why you are asking that of me . I am perfectly calm . Can you not see my smile? I assure you that it is as bright as the morning sun . ”
“Well, Lefi, I hate to break it to you, but happy people don’t clench their fists in rage . ”
“That, I believe, is a result of a difference in our perceptions . I am truly happy, Yuki . It brightens my day to imagine how bruised and battered you will be once I am finished with you . ”
“I fucking knew it! You’re totally raring to punch me!”
I popped my wings out and took off before she had the chance to slug me in the face .
“You will not escape me, Yuki!”
She did the same and immediately began chasing me down . Her overwhelming speed made it so that she was hot on my heels in a matter of moments, even in spite of my head start .
“You’ve been way too violent lately!” I shouted, as I desperately milked my wings for every last ounce of speed . “You can’t just solve every goddamn problem you encounter with violence, you know!”
“You have become much stronger, Yuki . I am now able to hit you without restraining the force of my blows!”
“Ohhhhhhh hell naw! Get me the fuck outta here!” I screamed, as I somehow pushed myself to flap even harder . “Domestic violence is unhealthy!”
“Domestic violence? This is no such thing,” she said in a cold “happy” tone . “It is only natural for me to knock sense into my mate should he begin to act like an imbecile . It is a natural form of communication required of every functional household . ”
“You clearly don’t know what a functional household is! And besides, it’s not like you haven’t asked Shii to say shit! Why am I the only one that has to suffer!?”
“S-she informed you of that!?” Lefi squeaked . Her face turned dark as she muttered an absolutely terrifying declaration under her breath . “You have left me with no choice but to thoroughly erase your memories . ”
“Oh, come on! That’s just plain unfair!”
Our midair chase sequence came with the cost of leaving the slime behind . However, she was not distraught by the development at all . In fact, the opposite was true . She was regarding us with a look of bliss .
“They’re showing off how much they love each other again,” she said, in the bubbliest of tones .
While we certainly would have loved to deny her accusation, we both were far too preoccupied with a high-stakes game of cat and mouse to actually do so .
Despite my best efforts, my desperate attempt at escaping my bride more or less ended up exactly as expected .
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