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Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 4 - Chapter 1.1




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Chapter 1 Sakura and Spring


It was true, what everyone said: Sakura's face did seem sculpted out of ice. 
Her uninterested eyes were like mirrors, reflecting only what was before her and nothing else. 
It was the spring of our third year in middle school. The classes had been reshuffled as we moved up grades like they always were, and still lacking in self-assertion, I'd found myself assigned to be a library assistant. Well, the role was technically called "organizer of cultural events", but as those were rare and I would, for the most part, just be performing library duty, I felt that the former name was more appropriate. Speaking of which, it soon came time for my first day of working there. 
I sat behind the counter, and next to me, sat Sakura. 
To tell you the truth, I was quite nervous. 
I'd been in the same class as her during our first year as well, but we'd never talked. Still, even just looking at her from a distance, I was able to tell what sort of person she was. She showed no signs of friendliness, always acted cold, and barely ever talked. 
In addition, her face was also very pretty. Her skin seemed almost... transparent. 
It was for that reason that people sometimes said her to be a statue made of ice. Staring at her now, I could see where they were coming from. 
Still, even if admiring her face was enjoyable, it wasn't the case that I could keep doing so forever. 
Taking a deep breath, I braced myself. 
"Hey, umm..." I spoke softly to get her attention. Sakura's eyes had been fuzzy, as if possessing no outlines, but now, they grew firm. 
"...What?" 
She waited a while before turning her silky, uninterested eyes my way. In that instant, everything that was happening around us stopped mattering to me. I felt it to be truly important that Sakura had chosen to participate in library duty with me. I wonder, would she come next time as well? Perhaps. 
Then again, it was lunch break right now. I had a strong suspicion that, had this been after school, she would have been nowhere to be seen. 
"No, it's just... the card." 
All this had happened with another student standing before us, clearly here to borrow books. 
Waiting it out hadn't been effective, and I'd eventually been forced to notify her directly. Yes, that was the reason why I had spoken to her. 
"Oh, right." 
At last, Sakura moved. It seemed that she hadn't noticed the girl, which was strange considering that she had been facing forwards the whole time. Not particularly flustered, she began processing the library card. There was a look on the girl's face that indicated that she wanted to say something—likely a comment on the long wait she'd been made to endure—but as Sakura wouldn't give her any attention, she was left simply to fold her arms, not sure how to go about complaining to someone who wasn't listening. Soon enough, Sakura was done and presented the card to the girl, who then grudgingly slouched forward and wrote her name along with her date of birth on it. Staring at her head, Sakura muttered the following: 
"...Sorry for the wait." 
Initially, even the girl herself appeared unsure as to what had just been said to her. She eventually lifted her head, but by that time, Sakura had long since averted her eyes. All she could do was reply with a vague "sure, okay". 
I, too, was left speechless by her apology. I'd always imagined her as someone who didn't care in the slightest how her actions affected others, and here she was, acting so... meek. I was genuinely confused. 
Then again, once the incident was over, Sakura fell right back into a state of daydreaming, giving off the impression that she didn't feel remorse and wasn't going to be changing her habits after all. 
Likewise, I turned my eyes back towards her face and continued where I had left off. 
Sakura's posture was similar to how she usually sat in the classroom. She never talked to anyone, nor was she ever accompanied by another person. No, it was always just her. She didn't seem lonely, however, but rather, independent, as if she had no need for others. The proof for this could be seen in the behaviour of the people around her; no one ever harassed her. Why? Because, if you were to try and pick on her, she was sure to remain cool-headed and lash back. That was the impression I got off her, and I was sure that everyone else did as well. 
I was no different from the people who avoided her for that very reason. And yet, staring at her from not all that far away like I was doing at the moment, I found it difficult to avert my eyes. 
It wasn't often that you got an opportunity to view the unapproachable this close up. 
Yes. I was satisfied with just looking. 
Sakura drew a lot of attention. Even the boys were interested in her. Despite that, no one ever attempted to touch her. 
After all, ice by its nature was cold, sharp, and most importantly, fragile. 


As it turned out, Sakura hadn't shown up for library duty the second time around. The shift assigned to us took place after school, meaning that my prediction had been correct. Being right brought me no joy, however. I sat there, on the chair behind the counter, trying to figure out what to do next. Should I remain where I was? Or maybe get up and look for her? Would I even be able to do that, or had she already gone home? I waggled my hips around, uncertain, but ultimately decided that my best bet would be to try and find her. After all, even if she was planning on leaving, there was a chance that I might catch her by the shoe rack if I hurried. 
I got up, and in order to minimize the time the counter would be left unoccupied, exited the library at full sprint. I was then met with a flight of stairs, which I proceeded to practically jump down. When had been the last time I'd run this fast? It couldn't have been during the winter, at the very least. That I knew for certain. I never felt like moving around when it was cold. Spring, however, that was a different story. 
I soon reached the school's entrance. Sure enough, Sakura was there. 
Currently in the process of taking her shoes out of the shoe rack, she turned to look at me as I rushed towards her direction. 
Then, immediately afterwards, she turned her head back, as if assuming that she couldn't have been the person I had business with. 
"Hey, wait. Wait", I said to her while closing the distance between us. To tell you the truth, my heart was pounding slightly faster than normal. 
Once again, Sakura turned to face me. This time, however, there was an annoyed look on her face, indicating she'd now accepted that I did, in fact, have business with her after all. 
"Umm, I came to say... We have library duty today." 
"Oh... We do?" 
Apparently, she'd merely forgotten. Sakura's eyes continued bouncing restlessly between me and the shoe rack. 
I nodded once as if to answer her question, which then prompted her to turn around and start walking outside. 
"Hey, come back here!" 
Shoving aside the slight bits of hesitation lingering in my mind, I went ahead and grabbed the sleeve of Sakura's school uniform. Though she didn't go as far as to shake me off, the look on her face as she turned around did make it clear that she was very much annoyed by what I'd done. At the same time, however, she seemed bored. There was not a sliver of eagerness, of motivation showing in her eyes and brows. 
"Isn't that something you can get done by yourself?" 
For something clearly meant as nothing more than an excuse for her to skip her duties, she sure had hit a sore spot. Yes, it was true that the lines in the library never got all that long, and a single person was undoubtedly more than capable of dealing with them. Just look at the previous instance; I'd done all the work while Sakura had mostly just sat there. 
That wasn't the problem. No, I was the one who I was worried about. Without Sakura there, my reasons for staying at the library suddenly seemed far weaker. 
"No, but, again. We have library duty." 
Unable to come up with anything clever, I went ahead and simply repeated myself. Still, it was a strong argument, one that even Sakura couldn't rebuke. She was forced to return her shoes to the rack. First the apology a couple of days earlier, and now this. It seemed that Sakura did have a sensible side to her. The more I learned about her, the less like the image I had of her in my head, and more like a regular person she turned out to be. 
Sakura had now finished putting her indoor shoes back on, and as I walked besides her, I found myself staring at the hand I'd used to touch her earlier—well, more accurately, her clothes. 
My fingers were not frozen. Rather, they appeared completely normal. That was to say, faintly red. 
I brought Sakura back with me to the library. Not putting up any resistance, she sat down behind the counter where she proceeded to space out just like before. Every now and then, a yawn escaped her mouth, leaving me to wonder whether I should interpret them as a sign of tiredness or boredom. 
Never had I seen her grab a book off the shelf and start reading it—my go-to method for killing time. 
I wonder, what sorts of thoughts went through her mind as she sat there silently? Something to the effect of "are we done yet"? 
I would have been extremely interested to find out. After all, there weren't many things around that I knew as little about as I did her. 
"Do you... ever read books or stuff?" I went ahead and asked her, having built up just barely enough courage to do so. Her chin resting against her hand, Sakura opened her mouth and answered: 
"If there's a book that I like, then I read it." 
I was left with the exact same number of questions as before. Thinking about it, it likely hadn't been her goal to actually answer any of them, had it? 
"If you'd like, I could introduce some books to you. I know a couple really interesting ones." 
I squeezed out every last bit of courage I had left, hoping that I would somehow be able to bring myself closer to her. 
And yet. 
"Huh? Oh, no, you don't need to", Sakura replied while simultaneously waving me off. Then, as soon as those words were out of her mouth, she turned her head back. 
I found myself astonished. My intentions had been genuinely good, yet Sakura showed no warmth whatsoever towards them. That said, she didn't appear especially bothered by them either. Her behaviour was just bland all around. 
Was she really not interested? Ironically enough, I grew quite interested myself as I wondered about that. 
Was there anything out there, anything at all that would attract her attention? I took a quick glance at her face as I thought about that. 
Never had I imagined that being assigned to library duty would turn out to be such an exciting experience. 
I'd grabbed a book off the shelf, and though I was flipping through the pages, and though my eyes were scanning over the words, none of them would register in my brain; all of its processing power was currently being used to look for an excuse, something that I could use to spark a conversation between me and Sakura. Anything. And yet, there was nothing. 
The polished surface of ice that formed her face remained cold, allowing nothing to come near it. 
Seeing how she was unlikely to initiate any sort of interaction in a million years, the only choice I was left with was to make the first move myself. 
"Hey, Sakura. What do you, umm, do on your days off?" 
"Nothing, really. Sleep, lie on my bed." 
Weren't those two kinda the same thing? More importantly, was that really true? I didn't get the impression that she was trying to dodge the question or anything like that, so maybe. 
As much as I appreciated Sakura not lying, this wasn't going to make for much of a conversation. 
"Well then, err... What sorts of grades do you get normally? Good?" 
"Pretty average, I think." 
"Oh, I... I see." 
I guess I should be grateful that she was even replying at all. Had she chosen to simply stare at me without a word, that would have been by far the most painful outcome. 
Then again, the situation I found myself in was also pretty high up there. 
This line of questioning wasn't getting me anywhere. It wasn't the right path to follow if I wanted to truly get a grasp of her. 
I needed to plunge deeper, even if that came at the risk of breaking the layer of ice that covered her. 
Or perhaps, would it only result in me slipping and tumbling over? 
I thought about it, racked my brain over it, and as I did, the world before me began fading away. The edges of my vision grew white. 
With my head hung, a single sentence left my mouth, like shedding a massive teardrop. 
"Do you, have any friends, Sakura?" 
It didn't take even a second for her to answer. 
"No." 
An avalanche of pure white rushed over me. Really, I wasn't exaggerating; that was truly the level of force I felt. 
My fingers continued shivering as I pressed them tighter against the corners of the book I was holding. 
"I see." 
"Yep." 
Well, in that case. 
My throat trembled. 
Would you like to become friends with me? 
That was what I wanted to say. That was what I tried to say. And yet, the words just wouldn't come out. 
I had plenty of friends in school. That wasn't the issue. No, the difference was that all of those relationships had come to be naturally. Never once had I walked up to someone and formally asked them to be my friend. It was for this reason that, in the heat of the moment, I found myself both embarrassed, as well as scared. What if she said no? It ended up taking me a bit of time to overcome these feelings. 
Had I managed to be the first one to speak, things might have taken a different turn. 
And yet. 
Still facing directly forward, Sakura opened her mouth and spoke. It didn't feel like she was talking to me, but rather, to the void. 

"I don't mind that." 
No cracks had appeared upon her icy surface, not a single one. 
It remained as clear and smooth as ever. Cold, and solid. 
Staring at her, the words that had been right on the verge of coming out were forced to retreat back into my throat. 
"I see..." 
Like hers, my reply was also aimed at no one in particular. 
She went on to ignore me, and this time, I was forced to give up. 
I stuck to simply observing her from then on. No longer did I attempt to spark conversations between us, and even when Sakura forgot about the library duty, I wouldn't go and get her. Those times she did show up, however, I'd spend the entire time staring at her face while pretending to read a book. 
I understood that was where the limit of what I was allowed to do lay. 
A certain sensation crossed my mind each time I glanced at her lips, so pretty and faintly pink. 
I'd probably messed something up. That was how it felt to me. Those were the thoughts that continued to torment me. 
And yet, my interest towards her had yet to vanish. If anything, I found staring at her even more tantalizing now that I had failed. 


The duties given to us changed as the second school term began, and with that, I lost the faint connection I'd had with Sakura. 
We still shared a classroom, sure, but it wasn't like I had any real excuses to go and talk to her. Plus, that would require her to be present, which was increasingly often not the case. It didn't seem that she was sick or anything, but rather, just didn't want to come to school because she found it annoying. 
With nothing in-between us, we ended up riding the flow that was our daily lives all the way to graduation. I was a bit worried that Sakura wouldn't show up there either, but she did. Still, she probably didn't remember me, did she? Watching her stand there with her head hung, I got the impression that she was quite bored. 
I continued staring at her from a distance. 
Although Sakura was placed in the front of the line, every now and then, she would shake her head from left to right. 
The principal's speech would eventually come to an end. Once it did, I wouldn't be able to chase after Sakura as she walked away from me. 
I usually hated having to listen to him speak, but now, on this one occasion alone, I found myself wishing that he would never stop. 
The ceremony was now over, and we were left to do what we wanted, whether that be to form groups or to just exit the sports hall straight up. Guided by a certain hunch, I left my circle of friends and rushed outside. 
There were sakura trees growing on either side of our school's central path. Looking at them, I could see that the colour of their blossoms had begun to peek through. 
It wasn't quite spring yet, and we would have to wait a bit longer till full bloom, but it was eventually going to happen. Anyway, I glanced at the trees, at their faint and distant pinkish gleam, and saw the back of a familiar figure walking under them. The instant I saw her, my legs began moving. My shoulders shook. I started to run. 
"Sakura!" 
Calling her name, I closed the distance between us. Sakura slowly turned around. 
Spring might have been right around the corner, but the layer of ice surrounding her appeared sturdy nonetheless. 
Her eyes moved slightly, hinting that she did remember me after all, at least on some level. 
"What?" 
She'd attempted to leave without a word, feeling not the slightest bit of reluctance to part ways with us. 
That was the Sakura I knew. That was the Sakura I always found myself staring at. 
I wonder, why did her cold attitude bring me so much joy? 
"Umm... Take care. Wait, no, that's not..." 
What point was there to saying something thoughtless, something generic? 
I didn't want that to be how the final exchange between us went down. It felt like throwing something away. That sentiment grew, and before long, I found myself filled with courage, courage gushing forth from somewhere deep within me. 
Was it desperation? Had my entire being turned over? Was I simply being proactive? 
Whatever the case, it inspired me. 
There was something I wanted to tell her. I knew it would be impossible to properly convey, but that didn't matter. I wanted to do it anyway. 
With that as my intention, I opened my mouth and... 
"Thank you." 
...thanked her. 
Sakura's eyes grew narrow, almost as if asking me what I'd meant. It was simple: I was thanking her for allowing me to observe the person named Sakura with her guard down, as well as for the stimulation it had brought me. Then again, I could hardly imagine the dead serious way I had said it striking a chord within her heart. 
Whatever. It wasn't necessary for all the nuances to be transferred over. I didn't even want that. 
That was why I laughed. Though Sakura's expression did grow stiff for a moment, as if suspicious of me, she eventually replied: 
"Okay." 
Her reply was both cold and blunt. Moreover, it sounded like she'd said it only because she felt like she needed to say something, not because she actually cared. 
I could feel a sting of cold in my chest as those words registered in my ears. 
Yes, it is okay, I said back. Not to her, however, but myself, silently. Then, without as much as a goodbye, Sakura turned around and left. 
Standing there, with all the sounds of the people behind me, I watched her leave. 
It didn't take long for the lump of ice that had been shot into my chest to begin melting. 
Strangely enough, what it brought with it was warmth, spreading across my body, to my chest and sides. 
Even if I were to spot Sakura in town in the future, I couldn't imagine us stopping to have a conversation. 
It was for that reason, that reason specifically, that I felt so thankful. 
Like the petal of a flower, fluttering in the wind, her back grew distant from me. 
Not once looking back, she melted into the sea of sakura blossoms, truly worthy of her name. 


"So, your given name is 'Sakura', huh, Adachi?" I asked her once the opening ceremony had come to an end and we were walking outside together. 
"Yep." 
It seemed like the perfect question to ask after looking up and seeing a sky full of sakura petals, but as that was not what had happened here, and the conversation had instead been initiated by me glancing at the ground and seeing flowers scattered everywhere, I did kinda feel like something was missing. Speaking of the petals, I was sure that the way I was walking, doing my best to avoid stepping on any, looked really goofy from an outside perspective. 
"Have I heard that before?" 
"Probably", Adachi nodded slightly. Where? On the second floor of the gym when we first met? I couldn't remember at all. 
"Hm, hmm..." I muttered back while turning my eyes towards the sports hall standing in the distance. 
Though the floor there was cold, like frozen soil, during the winter, today, during the opening ceremony, it hadn't been quite as bad. Sunlight would continue to grow stronger, and with it, the comfort that place had once held would be restored. What was currently somewhere I couldn't wait to get away from would turn into a place of refuge. Sneaking a peek at Adachi walking next to me, I couldn't help but wonder, would our feet never again lead us there? The look on her face made it hard for me to give a conclusive answer. 
Still, it hadn't even been a year since we met, huh? I found that a bit surprising. 
My relationship with Adachi truly was a mysterious thing. There were times when I could almost trick myself into believing that we had known each other forever, but equally often, it felt like we were complete strangers and each day spent together might be our last. We didn't have a sturdy foundation to support us, which was likely where this instability arose. How did one go about building one of those? That, I had no idea. 
Hmph. 
"Sakura." 
I went ahead and called her by her first name just to tease her. Initially, she didn't react in any particular way, and her face remained generally expressionless. A couple of seconds later, however, having perhaps realised that it was her that I was addressing, she turned to look at me with her eyes wide open. Though a bit embarrassed, I did give her a smile back, which in turn caused Adachi's cheeks, ears, and even her faint neck muscles to grow the same colour as the sakura blossoms around us. 
"Yeah, I might call you Sakura from now on", I said, doubling down on teasing her. Adachi seemed visibly shaken by my comment. And I mean that literally; her body trembled, and with it, the strands of hair on the sides of her head hopped up and down like the ears of an animal. She felt kinda adorable in a way. Anyhow, seeing how restless she appeared, I decided to stop there and resigned myself to waiting for her to calm down while continuing to walk forward. My eyes wouldn't point anywhere but straight forward till I heard the sound of her hair flapping stop. 
The sound did eventually stop, and when I turned around to glance at her, a sight that I couldn't help but grin at appeared in front of me: Adachi, smiling. 
There was a big, warm smile on her face, the kind that made it feel like she might start laughing out loud any second now. I found myself staring at this rare sight, fascinated by there being such an expression in Adachi's repertoire. It didn't take long for her to notice my gaze, however, and soon enough, she flung her head up. Her face immediately became tense, and the pinkish tone of her cheeks grew more towards scarlet. 
"What?" she asked me while restlessly adjusting her bag, her eyes jumping all around. She still appeared relatively calm by her standards, though, and based on that, I could make the assumption that she wasn't aware of the kind of expression on her face. 
This was nothing compared to how she would react if I were to tell her. That, I knew for a fact. I did wonder for a while if I should maybe tell her, but ultimately, I decided to keep it to myself. 
Knowing how shy Adachi was when it came to these things, I had a feeling she might get super embarrassed and run off somewhere, and I really wasn't in the mood for having to chase after her right now. 
"It's nothing. I was just looking at you, Adachi", I said. Though it didn't tell the whole story, it also technically wasn't a lie. Anyhow, Adachi seemed quite taken aback by my statement, and immediately afterwards, her eyes began jumping all around. 
...Why? 
"Oh, I... I see. You were... looking at me." 
This time, it was the corners of her mouth that grew stiff. It almost seemed like she was trying to force herself to smile but failing horribly, both her eyes and mouth instead assuming the shape of a cut-up apple. I wonder, did the muscles in her face ever get tired from all the moving around they had to endure? 
We exited through the school gate, and soon enough, I found myself walking by the nearby field with her. There, I noticed that something was off, like sensing someone touching the back of my head. I immediately realised what it was: Adachi. It was weird for Adachi to be walking beside me. 
"Why are you following me, Adachi?" I asked her, prompting her to instantly freeze in her tracks. She then turned her helpless eyes—opened wide as if she'd been injured—towards me. It almost looked like she was clinging to me for help, and as a result, I ended up getting a bit flustered myself. 
"Also, you didn't come riding your bike today?" 
It went without saying, but the place you'd leave your bike at was located within the school premises. Combined with the fact that she lived in the complete opposite direction that I did, I genuinely had no idea why she would choose to walk all the way here with me. Where on earth could she have been heading? 
"Oh, I'm... going over there." 
As she said this, the muscles around Adachi's eyes and mouth relaxed, as if the invisible ties binding her face had come loose. 
Over there? Over where? I wasn't sure, but that didn't stop me from feeling relieved. The expression that appeared on my face showed as much. 
The look on her face while we sat in the classroom had been completely blank, and I had wondered if she was maybe in a bad mood, but thankfully, that didn't appear to be the case. 
The seating order had once again changed as we began our second year. It hadn't been chosen randomly this time, however, but rather, alphabetically, meaning that I could see Adachi to the front and left from where I sat. A new year also meant new classmates, and while I myself had casually talked with some of them, Adachi, on the other hand, didn't seem to have exchanged words with anyone. Instead, she spent the entire time with her head hung, every now and then sneaking peeks at me, followed immediately by her averting her eyes. 
She appeared so stiff, so cold, almost as if she was merely waiting for the day to come to an end. 
Then, when it did end, she walked straight to me. It was mannerisms like those that truly made her resemble my little sister. 
I felt relieved seeing that she hadn't changed, but at the same time, slightly worried; though there was no denying that it was at least a bit weird for a high school student to act like an older sister towards someone from their own grade, before I'd known it, that was how I had ended up seeing things. 
I wonder, would Adachi be able to do well in a new class? 
Then again, it wasn't like the previous year had been all that great for her either, and so I wasn't sure how much I could reasonably expect. 
That was just the kind of girl she was, I felt. Still, there were also times when she'd drop her guard around me and grow quite expressive. 
It almost seemed like Adachi was emotionally attached to me. And not just slightly. 
"Shimamura?" 
"You sure look like a dog at times, Adachi", I pointed out. I'd actually meant to say "a dispirited dog", but ultimately decided to leave that part out. 
"No, I disagree", she stated back, all the while rubbing her nose and cheeks. Did she dislike dogs, perhaps? 
Personally, I quite liked them, dogs and such. 
Anyhow, wasn't it about time Adachi turned back? 
If she just kept walking, she'd eventually wind up at my house. 
I would have pointed that out to her had I found another opportunity to speak, but since I didn't, we instead ended up walking side by side down the road painted in the colour of spring by the sakura blossoms scattered everywhere. 
With the warmth of the sun hitting my back, I let out a long breath. 





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