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Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 4 - Chapter 2.1




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Chapter 2 Spring and Moon


Summers were dull and I wanted to sleep, autumns were cool and I wanted to sleep, winters were peaceful and I wanted to sleep. 
I probably don't need to go into detail regarding my feelings towards spring. Yes, it was year-round that my eyelids felt heavy. Truly a mystery. 
If I had to guess, I'd say that it was likely my body's way of filling the massive void of free time left by my lack of hobbies and such. Perhaps I should consider picking up something? I had just moved up grades, and so this seemed like a pretty good time to do that. 
Seeing how I was a year too late to enter a school club, my best choice might be to follow Adachi's example and get a part-time job. Or maybe not. I found myself hesitating. I didn't really have an objective in mind; there was nothing in particular that I wanted to buy, nothing that I wanted to learn. All in all, my motivation to work was lacking to say the least. It didn't seem that Adachi had some grand goal either, although that raised the question: What drove her to work? 
All this thinking was really getting to me, and I found myself wondering if I should go for a quick nap. However, those plans were soon put on halt as a voice called out to me: 
"Have you eaten lunch yet?" 
The first term had just begun, and it was the lunch break of our second day. 
The speaker had been... not Adachi, but instead, one of the girls from the group that had gathered around the desk next to mine. 
"Your name is Shimamura, right?" the girl continued, to which I replied with a "yeah, that's me", followed by a short nod. 
Though you might have imagined, based on the fact that she'd felt necessary to confirm my name, that she wasn't all that familiar with it, I still somehow got the impression that she was pronouncing it using hiragana in her mind. Just went to show how self-conscious I was about that, I suppose. 
"Would you like to join us?" 
The girl who spoke this time was the midmost one. As she did, she lightly tapped an empty chair that was pulled up by the table, gesturing for me to sit on it. I wasn't quite sure why, but in that moment, I found my eyes instinctively turning towards the left corner of the classroom where Adachi sat. She'd clearly been looking my way herself, although the second our eyes met, she immediately turned her head away as if to hide that fact. 
There had been quite the shocked expression on her face. 
"Oh, or did you already promise to eat with someone else?" asked another one of the girls. I didn't know how exactly to interpret her smile. 
"No, I didn't", I replied, all the while being carried to the table by the flow of conversation, the inducing atmosphere that made it so difficult for me to say no. Once there, the girls greeted me in unison, going as far as to lightly clap their hands. 
What was going on? 
The three took the lead by introducing themselves. They spoke a bit too fast for me to follow comfortably, but from what I was able to gather, their names seemed to rhyme with Sancho de Los Panchos. Let's just call them that. It didn't make it any easier that two of their names sounded so similar. 
Sancho was the first one to talk. She wore glasses. Moving on, De Los's face was slightly on the plumper side, whereas Pancho's dyed hair was even more strongly pronounced than mine. 
Girls often formed groups after entering a new class, and it looked like I'd just been invited to join one. Did I really seem that sociable of a person? My hair certainly didn't; as I'd neglected to tend to it, there was now a visible line halfway through it where the brown faded into black—my original hair colour. No one had yet commented on it, though, based on which I could judge that this group wasn't one devoted to fashion. 
"Oh, I didn't bring lunch from home. Give me a second, I'll go buy something real quick." 
Seeing the lunch boxes the other three around me had already placed on the table before them, I quickly sprang up. I then turned my eyes towards the door, and saw Adachi once again staring at me while appearing to duck her head. She seemed almost like a cat, or a dog, nervously scanning their surroundings. I simply couldn't bear to avert my gaze. 
There was no reason to think that she wanted me to invite her. She likely wouldn't come even if I did. And yet, I still went ahead and approached her. As I did, Adachi's shoulders jolted—almost as if she was frightened—after which she immediately got up herself and rushed out of the classroom. I could see her eyes spinning in her head as she ran. Was she heading to the canteen, perhaps? If so, then we might as well go together—I was on my way there anyway to buy a sandwich. It only took me walking out of the door and discovering that she'd gone in the opposite direction for that plan to get shot down, however. As a final nail in the coffin, she was running at quite the speed, and though I tried to jog after her, it wasn't enough. Maybe I could catch her if I broke into a sprint myself? Sadly, I wasn't able to put that theory to test; hesitating, I turned around and glanced towards the classroom, and by the time I looked back, her figure had already vanished from sight. I wouldn't have minded wandering around looking for her had there been no one waiting for me back in the classroom, but as there was—and not just one, but three whole people—doing so simply wasn't an option. It just felt too dishonest leaving them like that. 
We could always talk later. With that, I decided to give up on her for now. 
I turned around and began heading towards the canteen. Just as I'd expected, I didn't run into Adachi on my way there. 
Having bought the sandwich, I returned to the classroom. There, I saw that the chair I'd sat on earlier was still vacant. 
The fact that Sancho went as far as to beckon me to them left me with no choice but to smile and sit down. 
"Have you three been friends for long?" 
"No, we only met when the year began." 
Pancho gave the other two a quick look as if seeking agreement, to which they responded with nods. 
"I see." 
In other words, they were a friendly bunch. Friendly enough to call out to me simply because I happened to be sitting close by. 
It also meant that, once it came time to change the seating order, I would no longer be eating lunch with them. 
It was for that reason that I decided not to go out of my way to attempt to learn their names. 
"Are you part of any school clubs, Shimamura?" 
"No, none at all", I shook my head to Pancho's question. This felt like the sort of situation where I was meant to reply with an "and you?", and so I did just that. 
"I'm technically part of the light music club. I don't show up there all that often, though." 
"Music, huh? Instruments." 
I couldn't help but smile at my own reply: Could you possibly come up with something less substantial? 
Regardless, the conversation kept going. To be perfectly honest with you, looking back, I can't for the life of me remember a single part of it that I'd found amusing or interesting. 
Likewise, though I'm sure I chewed the sandwich thoroughly, I couldn't tell you what it tasted like. 
The lunch break had all but come to an end by the time I was at last set free. Wait, no. "Set free"? Putting it that way almost made it sound like I had been forced to keep them company. It wasn't a good way to think about it, and I immediately found myself regretting my rude choice of words. Then again—and don't misunderstand this—it was also true that I hadn't gone out of my way to beg to be invited to their group. Nothing like that. My feelings on the matter weren't quite as simplistic as they might appear, so keep that in mind. 
"..." 
There was only one thing I felt for sure: This had happened way sooner than I had expected. 
Nagafuji and Hino were gone thanks to having been assigned to a different class than me, and these people were here to take their places as my pseudo-friends. No doubt tomorrow would be just like today; they'd invite me to eat lunch, and I'd once again put on a forced smile, as if having a hard time swallowing my food. That was how my days would be from now on. Sure, kind of a repeat from last year, but that really was the impression I got as I sat there, resting my chin against my palm. 
I suppose the big difference was that, based on what I'd seen today, Hino and Nagafuji had been far more interesting as people. Then again, what could you do? 
I hardly saw us being at the level of friendship where it was appropriate to force myself into their classroom just to hang out with them. 
Yes, my relationship with those two was simply going to be buried under the new one, overwritten by it. 
The exact same thing had happened when I graduated elementary school; the friends I'd had back there had been replaced by the ones from middle school. 
Likewise, I never met those people again after entering high school. 
Looking back to it in this fashion, my life didn't appear all that continuous. Hardly any of my relationships carried over between the different sections of my life. 
That was probably the case with everyone, wasn't it? Or was I perhaps uniquely bad at holding onto them? 
I might have been cold-hearted. Insensitive. 
Yet, the following was what I truly thought: 
Relationships strong enough to last through everything life had to offer were exceedingly rare. 
Remain too long in the stream of destiny, and even the ties between people would start to dissolve. 


Once again, Adachi was nowhere to be seen in the classroom. It had been like that since Monday. Had there been some sort of change in her mental state? I almost felt like I could tell that to be the case, but at the same time, I simply wasn't able to bring myself to dig deep enough. In any case, though only a few days had passed of the school year, we already had an empty seat. Saying that her absence stood out was understating it; as her desk was located in the front row, anyone could tell that someone was missing. 
It was raining that day, and as a result, what was meant to be an outside gym class had been emergency-changed to a game of basketball at the sports hall. In the middle of warm up, I found my eyes turning towards the second floor. 
I wonder, was Adachi currently up there? Seeing how it was raining outside, it might be that she'd chosen not to come to school in the first place. I couldn't tell one way or the other; it went without saying, but I obviously didn't possess an ability to sense her through the air or anything like that. 
Had she not been skipping—Wait, no. It was pretty rude to assume that she was, without evidence to back me up. In any case, had Adachi been here, we would have ended up playing basketball together, huh? I went ahead and imagined that as I caught the ball. While she had been better than me at table tennis, when it came to basketball, I was quite confident in my ability to beat her. Why? Because, for what it was worth, I had played a lot of it back in the day. 
Then again, maybe it wasn't worth anything; Sancho and I were currently practising throws by tossing the ball back and forth, and not once had she commented on the difference in expertise that was meant to exist between us. I was genuinely doing my best, silently wishing that she'd notice with each throw, and yet, all she ever did was lazily hurl the ball back at me. Perhaps I wasn't as good as I thought. Maybe my skills had worn off, faded away. 
The ball kept bouncing back and forth, and every now and then, I sneaked a peek towards the second floor. 
I wasn't sure if I should go take a look. 
It might be that was what Adachi was waiting for. 
In the end, I ultimately decided against it; going there without permission ran the risk of us both getting yelled at by the teacher, and I didn't want what was meant to be our secret, our protected place, to become the target of patrolling. It just felt like such a waste. 
Instead, I was left staring upwards, hoping that, if I looked hard enough, Adachi would pop her head out. Just then... 
"Ah, it's Shimaa." 
"Shimaa." 
...two familiar figures ran past me. Yes, they were none other than Hino and Nagafuji. Though we were no longer classmates, the rain meant that the possible options for sports classes were quite limited, and as a result, their lesson too had been changed to take place at the gym, just using a different set of courts than our class. Anyway, the two were running in a line, Nagafuji's hands pressed against Hino's back, almost giving the impression that they were pretending to be a train or something. A brakeless train, it seemed, considering how they'd blown right past me. As it turned out, I couldn't have been any less correct; no more than a second passed from that thought appearing in my mind that they pulled to a halt and turned around. 
"Yo, Shimaa." 
"Shimaa." 
"Doesn't look like you two have changed." 
Especially Nagafuji. It seemed that she put just as little thought into what she said as ever. Oh, but don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining. If anything, I liked that about her; it made it very easy to pick out what she meant. 
Adachi always seemed troubled, worried. If only she managed to break through all that stuff similar to Nagafuji, I'm sure that she'd feel much better overall. Then again, I suppose she was naturally talented at taking it easy, and trying to copy her without the skills necessary might result in something horrible. 
"Is Adacchii taking the day off?" Hino asked me. Had she really come to that conclusion solely based on the fact that she wasn't currently standing next to me? In any case, I went ahead and answered with a short "probably". 
"It's not like we're always together", I continued. Thinking back to it, I could remember using that exact same argument to refute her before. 
"I see, I see. Well then." 
"See ya." 
The train then set off, leaving me, the passenger, behind at the station. Just kidding. It was still kinda funny, though. 
It almost felt like I'd just been tested on one of my relationships. And, being the person I was, I'd decided to play it safe and let it blow right past me. 
I was more than capable of doing that. The one who wasn't was Adachi; she simply couldn't let go and allow the flow to carry her away. 
That was, probably, a bad thing. 
Life didn't always go the way you wanted in this world we lived in, a world that only existed between people. There were difficulties, inconveniences. I did my best to deal with all of them, yet Adachi, she was different. She lacked the ability to adapt. 
What was she going to do from now on? 
Change in an attempt to fit in, or perhaps— 
"Come to think of it, Shimamura. Are you and Adachi close?" 
It was Sancho who asked this, having at some point drawn near me. Had she read my mind or something? I tried my hardest to hide my shock, but no doubt some managed to slip through the cracks. It didn't take long for the other two to join us as well, and before I knew it, our entire group was together. Holding up basketballs, the three of them surrounded me, forming almost like a fan with me in its centre. I would have been lying if I said that I didn't feel extremely uncomfortable. 
"Yeah. I guess we're sort of friends." 
Ask Adachi, and she would likely go as far as to say that we were best friends. Not that I particularly disagreed or anything. It was more that I was afraid of the situation taking an awkward turn if I were to go out of my way to state that. 
"Just what I thought. I saw you talking with her all the time last year. So, do you know where she is today? Did she catch a cold or something?" 
"Right, right", I went ahead and confirmed her statement. I wonder, when she said that she'd seen us, was she talking about those times we'd been holding hands outside? 
In that case, "sort of friends" wasn't going to cut it, was it? I found myself silently giggling at the thought. 
"Anyway, no, she hasn't told me. She does have a tendency to get sick, so it might be that." 
That was a lie. I had to play it safe. No way could I say that she was skipping school without her being here to defend herself. 
"I went to the same middle school as Adachi. It kinda feels like she's changed since then, though", said the rightmost girl—that being, Pancho. Finding her statement somewhat interesting, I turned my eyes towards her. 
"You did?" 
"Yeah. She'd always just sit at her desk and never talk to anyone. Well, I guess she still does that, but I don't know. She just seemed... way stiffer, or something." 
Pancho moved her hands up and down slightly as if to illustrate the change she was talking about. 
Stiff, huh? Her movements certainly were stiff. Or rather, awkward. Did that mean she hadn't changed after all? 
"I feel like she's still that way." 
"Sorry, I don't think I explained it properly. It used to be more like, you know, how they said in that show. 'I don't get the feeling that she's an enlightened peace lover'." 
"What an earth are you talking about?" Sancho immediately commented. She then began laughing, as if having found the earlier girl's strange choice of expression highly amusing. In a similar fashion, De Los moved to cover her mouth with her hand, clearly giggling behind it. 
At first, I too was left confused as to what she'd meant. However, after a bit of time spent thinking about it, I managed to come up with a reasonable interpretation: Was she perhaps trying to say that she was no longer hurtful in the way she approached people? In that case, I definitely understood what she was getting at. Rarely would she stick out spikes at others—not when dealing with me, at least. No, what she did instead was hunch her back, pull in her shoulders, and look up at you with a distressed look on her face. 
No spikes, no stiffness. She'd simply fall down and cower. 
She never did it firmly when she rejected something. At the same time, she never gave up either. 
I ended up not checking out the second floor. I was unable to deem it worth it to go against the flow, and simply didn't have what it took to make the leap. Plus, it was surprisingly fun playing basketball after all this time. 
A lot of things were, once I got past my initial reaction of finding them too bothersome to deal with. 
In short, the problem was with the way I viewed things. That was what I thought to myself as I tossed the ball. 
The lesson eventually came to an end, and I began making my way back to the classroom with Sancho and the other two. Distancing myself from them would have meant going against the flow, which was why I hadn't done it. 
Something felt wrong. Even so, I found my feet matching the rhythm of theirs. 
My lips would curl into a smile whenever theirs did, the corners of my mouth would rise in accordance to the conversation I was barely paying attention to. 
Looking at it objectively, I could feel that my behaviour was being optimized. 
We exited the sports hall. There, wind and rain blew against my back. 
While it was hardly what I'd call strong wind, as it passed by me, the difference in temperature did cause my body to shake. 
All I could do was mutter to myself the following: Spring. 



A familiar sight greeted me back home: Yashiro and my sister frolicking about. It was definitely noisy, and also a bit annoying. And yet, for some reason, I never grew tired of seeing it. What I found especially funny was contrasting this to how she'd been at the beginning of the month, all proud of the fact that she was "no longer a child". It seemed that she still very much was whenever Yashiro was around. 
I was soon brought back to reality by an electronic sound far less soft than the voices of the two small creatures. It was my phone, ringing in my bag which I had tossed on my desk. My first guess was Adachi, but as I pulled out the device, it turned out that I'd been wrong. Though I had given her my phone number the other day, it wasn't Sancho either. 
When was the last time we'd met? In February? Yes, the person calling me was Tarumi. 
To be perfectly honest with you, I hadn't been expecting her to call me again. 
I exited the room to talk with her in the hallway. 
"Hello, umm... Taru." 
Our previous encounter had concluded with the revival of this nickname, which was why I decided to go ahead and use it. 
Even so, I still found it a little awkward calling her that. Saying the word just didn't feel right. 
"Yo, Shima." 
The way Tarumi spoke indicated that she, too, had hesitated for an instant. 
"..." 
My first inclination was to ask her what she wanted. However, remembering how someone had once pointed out that was the only thing I ever said to people, I ended up changing my plans last second and remained silent instead. What should I do to break the ice here? Just say "hello"? 
Thankfully, I didn't need to worry about that for too long, as soon enough, Tarumi went ahead and explained her intentions herself. 
"I was thinking, could we meet one of these days?" 
"Huh?" 
On a flip side, her statement didn't exactly help me out. If anything, I was left even more confused. I really didn't know how to reply. 
Phoning me was one thing, but inviting me to hang out? That had come completely out of left field. 
It had been so awkward the last time. It'd hurt. 
And yet, right at the end of it all, the situation felt like it had ever so slightly been salvaged. 
Was that what she was hoping our encounter to once more be tinged with, that serene tranquillity? Most likely. 
Geez, Taru. You know that's not going to be easy, right? 
"So, what do you say? I'll, err... work hard this time! So that it... doesn't end up... going like before." 
Based on the rushed tone in which she assured her enthusiasm, it seemed that she was just as aware of it as I was. That led me to wonder: what exactly did "working hard" entail for her? Was she planning to never stop talking to make sure there wouldn't be any pauses in conversation between us? 
If so, then that felt like it could be pretty painful in its own way. 
"You'll work hard? Well... Umm..." 
She was someone who, back in the day, I would have had no trouble calling my very best friend. Despite that, the words simply wouldn't come out. 
If this really was what it took, then I was of the opinion that we should just give up. 
Forcing yourself to hang out, forcing yourself to have fun. Something about that felt off. 
And yet, there was a part of me that hesitated, a part which didn't want to turn her down. 
"Hmm, sure. Okay. Let's do that. Hang out." 
"Alright. Does Saturday next week sound good?" 
A dedicated day, not after school. Was that so we would have more time? 
"Sure, I don't have anything planned." 
"See you then. Oh, and one more thing." 
"What?" 
I could hear her clear her throat. She then swallowed in slightly exaggerated fashion before continuing: 
"Hooray!" 
"Huh?" 
"I'm so excited for it!" 
The world before me began spinning. 
This person, practically yelling with joy, was she really the same Tarumi I had been talking to just moments earlier? 
Based on the sound of breathing coming from her end, I got the impression that even she herself was a little perplexed by her reaction. 
"Something like that." 
"...Taru?" 
"That's how I'm planning to go about it. So yeah." 
Lacking a response, I found myself instinctively taking a step back. However, as there was a wall right behind me, all I accomplished was smacking my head against it. 
"You're going to show up like that?" 
It seemed that she really had been serious about giving it her all. A wry smile appeared on my face; I wasn't at all confident that I'd be able to bear through it. 
"Would you prefer a more relaxed approach?" 
Would I... prefer it? 
"There's a lot of room for improvement, I'll admit that..." 
Having mumbled out those words, Tarumi ended the call. That was one of those things she never showed any hesitation with. 
As for me, I was always left overwhelmed by her unilateral advances, not all that dissimilar to acts of aggression. 
I spent some time standing in the hallway after the call, still leaning against the wall. 
My daily life had once been a leisurely stroll, and though I still wouldn't exactly call it busy, I could definitely see that it was, over time, being transformed into a semi-jog by the influence of the changes happening around me. 
It was probably for that reason—having to keep up pace with things around me—that I found myself somewhat fatigued. 
The innocent voice of my sister sounded through the wall. She was the kind of person who always wanted to act proper outside the house—or better put, keep up appearances—which was exactly why it was so rare to see her show that side of herself, her true self, to someone outside of our family. 
I'd been the same way in the past. Just like her, I'd had splendid friends too. 
And yet, at some point, I had changed into the person who I was today. 
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I hated my current self. 
Rather, I didn't want my sister to part ways with her innocence. 
"What are you doing, standing there?" Mom asked, having poked her head into the hallway. 
"Nothing much", I replied, earning myself an "oh, okay" back. 
"Say, what do you want to eat today?" she then continued. 
"Huh?" 
"Just say a type of food. We'll be eating out tonight." 
Was that really something for me to decide? What choices were there even? Conveyor belt sushi, I suppose. And barbecue. And non-conveyor belt sushi. 
Oh, and also... 
"Well then..." 
I found the thought of Adachi crossing my mind. 
"What about Chinese?" 
This would almost certainly lead to us going to the restaurant where she worked. 
That was the reason why I had chosen it, not because I wanted to eat Chinese food. 
Phone calls and text messages were of course an option. However, if those were what I was after, I could always just wait for Adachi to make the first move. If not, then talking face to face would certainly be a better option. That was how it felt to me. 
My prediction proved to be correct, and soon enough, I found myself in the car with my family heading towards where she worked. 
Yashiro had disappeared at some point to who-knows-where. 
"I'll get to hear about how you are at school again, huh?" Mom teased me at the parking lot. It seemed that she still remembered Adachi. 
I don't think you will, I silently objected. 
We then walked in. 
But she wasn't there. 
Instead, we were greeted by a woman who walked like a penguin. 
Adachi didn't appear to be working today. 
It was at times like these that I was forced to face how little I actually knew about her. 
"That's too bad", Mom muttered as a comment regarding Adachi's absence. 
Facing to the side, silently and secretly, I agreed. 


Saturday rolled around. Much like yesterday, there were few clouds in the sky, offering the scenery a distinct lack of depth. We'd arranged to meet before an elementary school, and it was there that I stood. Why not in front of the station? I'd wondered that too, but seeing how keen Tarumi had been to choose a destination for us, I'd decided to leave it all to her. Speaking of Tarumi, she was nowhere to be seen. Not that it was her fault. If anything, I was to blame; we were supposed to be meeting at eleven, but much to my surprise, I'd ended up arriving way earlier than that. 
It seemed that I was a faster walker now than I had been back when I went to this school. 
Likely because my feet were longer. 
Hehe. 
It'd been a while since I last walked by, and though I had heard from my sister who went here that they'd expanded the school building, seeing it for myself, I found it quite shocking. The place was just so much larger than I remembered. Still, not everything was different; circling around the original section of the building revealed that the wall there was just as dirty as I'd last seen it. There, staring at it, a memory of Tarumi and I running in circles passed through my mind. 
She still wasn't here. I checked my phone and saw that it was about time. 
Once again, I was starting to feel tense around my stomach. 
What were we going to do? How was it going to go? A backwards way of thinking about it, sure, but that truly was how I felt. 
Strange, considering that it wasn't like that when I went out with Adachi. 
"Sure is complicated, huh?" I mumbled to myself, ultimately giving up on attempting to get a grasp on the fine, subtle details of my heart. 
Speaking of Adachi, I hadn't heard her voice in a while. Why? Because she never approached me in class. 
Quite the opposite; she rarely even showed up. I wonder, what was she doing? 
"Hmm..." 
It was surprisingly often that I found myself thinking about Adachi whenever I had free time. 
Not that I had that many friends to begin with, but still. There was something suspicious about the way she acted. Unconsciously, she crept into my memories. 
"Whoa! You're early." 
I'd just been thinking back to the strange face she'd made during the entrance ceremony when I heard Tarumi's voice in the distance. I lifted my head, and there she was, jogging towards me. 
Tarumi was wearing a light-green cardigan on top of a grey blouse. Yep, definitely was normal. I suppose impromptu encounters in a China dress were only a thing with Adachi. Not to say that I didn't think she looked good wearing it, because I certainly did. 
I took a step forward myself, and so the two of us, neither wearing a school backpack, met in front of the elementary school. 
"Why are you smiling? Does my outfit look weird?" Tarumi asked while fiddling with her sleeves. I went ahead and touched my cheek as if to ask if I really was smiling, but it didn't seem that she got what I meant. 
"No, it doesn't. I was just..." 
"Hmm... Did you remember something funny?" 
"Yeah", I mumbled. There we go. "I was just thinking about a funny face my friend made." 
"Oh, I see. I wasn't late, was I?" Tarumi asked before glancing up at the clock on the wall of the school building. It was the same clock that had been there all those years ago. 
"No, you weren't. I just came way too early." 
"Weren't you the kind of person who used to always show up late, Shima?" 
"I still am, at school. Ahaha." 
It wasn't really funny what I'd just said. No, I simply felt like laughing was the best way to smooth over it. 
"Hmm... Alright then. Err, let's do it." 
"Huh?" 
Tarumi's body twisted, giving off the impression that she was preparing herself for something. In response, I tilted my head to ask what the "it" was she was talking about doing. However, just then... 
"Yoo-hoo! Shima!" 
She waved her hands in the air as if calling out to me from a great distance. Kinda strange, seeing how I was standing right in front of her. 
"...Okay. Let's get going." 
The outburst turned out to be temporary, and soon enough, Tarumi began guiding me forward in a perfectly calm fashion. From the looks of it, she found it difficult to keep up such levels of enthusiasm. 
I decided to make a mental note of this; there might be more surprise attacks coming later on once she was able to recharge her batteries. 
Anyhow, we started walking. Contrary to my expectations, things weren't exactly looking gloomy from the offset. 
Perhaps it was the fact that you smiled that mattered, and not so much the reason why you did so. 
I glanced at Tarumi as we walked. Her hair was the same way it had been the last time we met—lightly curled and fit around her neck. The ashen colour was still going strong as well. Unlike me, it seemed that she actually put effort into how she looked. She'd used to have an even cut when we were little, but now, her hair was long and fluffy all over. 
Tarumi's feet appeared to be guiding us away from the school, to which I silently sighed in relief; remembering her sudden change of tone on the phone and how she'd started acting like a child again had left me slightly worried that she might suggest that we should go play at the school's play yard. As someone with a sister who went here, that seemed like not the smartest choice. 
Everyone acted different in school, and though we were close relatives, were I to find out about that side of her, I had a feeling that it might cause a serious breach in our sisterly relationship. 
"Where are we heading?" I decided to ask Tarumi while following her. 
"That's a secret for now", she replied before turning around and continuing: "You've let your hair go back, huh, Shima?" 
The colour. She seemed to be asking about the colour of my hair. 
"Yeah, I have", I said back while taking a strand of it between my fingers. 
"I think it suits you way better." 
"You do?" 
That was what my family said too. Really, it felt like the only person who had complimented me was the person at the hair salon. 
Tarumi then extended her hand towards me. She brought it near my hair, giving me the impression that she was going for that, but what she ended up doing instead was touch my fingers. There, with our fingers entwined, she took my hand. 
My eyes grew wide, prompting Tarumi to instantly pull away. This didn't mean letting go of my hand, however; even now that she was walking well in front of me, she still held onto it. The way she was doing it reminded me a lot of Adachi. Hmm, or maybe not; she'd been far less hesitant than her. For some reason, Adachi's movements were always so simple, so straightforward. 
Anyway, what was going on here? Why did everyone want to hold my hand? Was it kinda like a dog leash but for humans—they felt that without it, I'd wander off somewhere? If so, they were horribly mistaken, considering that I was someone who found everything tedious and most of the time preferred not to leave the house. 
After a bit of time walking, Tarumi turned her head towards me. Then, she grinned at me as brightly as she possibly could. 
"H-How is it?" 
For a certain reason, I found this far more impactful than getting "yoo-hoo"d at. 
"Say something." 
"I was just thinking." 
"Huh?" 
Still smiling, Tarumi moved her eyebrows as if to express doubt in my reaction. She sure had one dexterous face to be able to do both of those things at the same time. 
"I don't get it." 
"You always used to smile like that when you were little, Taru." 
The same was true for me; there had once been a time when I'd been able to live my life without caring how I appeared to others. 
"It feels kinda nostalgic." 
Having said that, I too smiled a little. Probably. 
Slowly and carefully, Tarumi scanned me up and down. 
"Hm?" 
"It kinda feels like you've gotten... sexy. No, wait, that's not it. Damn, what's the word? My brain is so slow." 
She pushed her hair to the side with her hand as she attempted to find the right word. 
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, you've grown." 
"I was going to say that", I replied while staring up at her; she was around half a head taller than me. Meanwhile, Tarumi continued to smile cheerfully. 
She'd completely forgone any sort of intonation with her words, and if I'm being honest with you, they felt pretty unnatural. 
"I don't think you need to push yourself." 
"No, it's fine", Tarumi rejected my suggestion, still maintaining a smile on her face. It was a mystery to me how she managed to speak with the corners of her mouth curled up. "Besides, only half of it is acting." 
Having said that, she once again turned to face forward. Maybe it was just my imagination, but it felt like she was walking ever so slightly faster than before. 


"..." 
I'd describe the sound as "fizzling". Actually, no; on second thought, it sounded more like hissing. 
Either way, the fragrance floating in the air was quite lovely. 
A serving of okonomiyaki was being cooked on the grill before me. Leaning slightly forward, I stared at it. That was what was going on here. 
"Hmm. Hmm, hmm. Hmmh", Tarumi hummed from the other side of the table. It sounded a bit forced, the way she was doing it, and I gave her a vague smile in response. 
The place she had guided me to for lunch turned out to be an okonomiyaki restaurant. And not just any restaurant, but one where each seat had its own iron-plate grill built before it. In other words, they were telling us to cook our own damn food. 
Thankfully, I didn't need to worry about that as Tarumi had kindly decided to undertake all cooking responsibilities. Why? Well, according to her, it was one of her many talents. 
The only responsibility that fell upon me was the eating one. Watching her do her thing, I had to say, I agreed with her assessment. Putting aside whether she was actually good at it or if that was merely my impression of the matter, her movements appeared quite crisp and precise. How long had it been since I last ate okonomiyaki? A year? More than that? Surprisingly enough, we never had it at home. I continued to wonder about that, and as I did, I found my body waving from side to side just like the heat and smell floating off the grill. 
There weren't all that many people at the restaurant, mostly just families. Was it because of the weekend? Whatever the reason was, I took a look around for any female couples, but from what I could see, we appeared to be the only one. I wonder, did girls usually eat spaghetti or the like instead? Possibly. 
Why did I think that? Well, the other day, Yashiro had gone on and on about spaghetti—or more accurately, spaghetto—and it had left quite the impression. 
Our eyes met. Tarumi immediately grinned, revealing her teeth. Oh, but don't get me wrong; there was nothing wrong with how she looked, smiling reflexively. No, that wasn't the issue. 
"I guarantee your face is gonna get tired at that rate." 
"No, no. This is very important. Or is it? Hmm." 
Her words tapered off near the end, giving the impression that half-way through she'd begun doubting her own argument. Further supporting this theory was the way she was now scratching her neck. 
Even while busy racking her brain over something, she still managed to move from one action to another. I could definitely learn a thing or two from her. 
Anyway, it felt like things would only continue getting more uncomfortable were I to keep making her put in all the effort. With that in mind, I decided to bring up a topic of my own. 
"Taru, I heard that you are a delinquent. Is that true?" 
Still gripping the spatula, Tarumi lifted her gaze from the okonomiyaki towards me. 
"No, not really. I just skip school sometimes. It'd be more accurate to say that I'm lazy." 
"Hmm, same as me then." 
Going to school was the norm for teachers and other students, which meant that anyone who diverged from that was a delinquent in their eyes. 
"Still, I've heard that you've started acting up lately, Shima", she commented, all the while checking how the okonomiyaki was looking. How do you know that? I asked with my eyes. 
Combing her dangly hair to the side, she revealed her secret: 
"I happened to overhear my mom talking to yours on the phone. They call each other every now and then." 
"Hmm..." 
They knew each other to that extent? This was the first I'd heard about that. Saying that I felt embarrassed having my private matters discussed outside the house would have been an understatement. I should tell her to stop. On second thought, no, I don't think that would work. If anything, she'd probably be even more eager to talk about it. That was the kind of person Mom was. 
Touch and she'd get all excited, leave her alone and she'd probably still pop up. What was the right thing to do there? 
Also, if she really thought I was doing that well "acting up", then I wish she'd start making me lunch to bring to school. 
"Well, I say that, but it really does happen infrequently. Plus, I always hear just random bits. I'd much prefer hearing how you are these days straight from you yourself. That was kinda my objective for the day. Wait, no. My goal. No, that doesn't sound right either. Hmm, how can I say it more softly..." 
Tarumi continued to ponder about that with her arms crossed. The same had happened while we'd been talking on the phone. I got the impression she was the kind of speaker who was very particular when it came to choosing her words. 
Strange, because all the memories I had of her from our time in elementary school painted her as someone who couldn't care less about the fine details. 
"Anyway, speak to me. Tell me about school. I want to hear." 
Those mysteries were shoved to the side as Tarumi moved on to the next topic. 
"School? School, huh?" 
Did I have anything particularly worth talking about? This time, I was the one left crossing my arms in thought. 
"Are you part of any clubs or stuff?" 
"No. I did think about joining the basketball club, though." 
Talking about school clubs? That seemed like a safe place to start from. 
What did I mean by "safe"? Also, Tarumi and I, was this really a "start" for us? 
"Am I wrong, or did you do basketball in middle school too?" 
"I did. Well, sometimes at least. What about you, Taru?" 
That last "Taru" felt like it had come out naturally. Wait, no. Could it be called natural if I was conscious of it? 
"Not really. I'm a delinquent, you know? That whole 'clubs are good for you', it's not my style." 
I replied to her joke with a short laugh. It was funny, the way she had switched up the order of things, as if being a delinquent was the cause instead of the effect. 
Checking up on the okonomiyaki in the corner of her eye, Tarumi continued: 
"Believe it or not, I used to take school seriously too at first. Well, not that I was ever like, super hardcore about it, not since middle school. There just wasn't anything in this town that seemed more important than going to class." 
"Yep." 
"Still, when I think about it, what I'm going to do after high school and all that, I get way too anxious to sit silently in my seat. Like, I want more time to consider those things. That's why I decided to head out, go around, see what the world is like. Turns out, it's surprisingly fun staring at people in town." 
"Yep." 
"There was this old lady I passed today. She was walking like she had some goal in mind. I wonder, what sort of path had she taken to get there? It really feels like pulling on these roots that connect the entire town when I think about that stuff. Like, anything that involves a person affects another. Almost like knocking down dominoes or something." 
"Yep." 
"Anyway, I started doing that, and before I knew it, I'd ended up as a delinquent." 
Tarumi at last stopped, almost as if having calmed down after all that talking. She then turned her eyes towards me. To be perfectly honest with you, I felt a bit awkward. 
"Sorry, I kinda went off there." 
"You did. But, it's fine. I don't mind hearing about what's going on in your head, Taru. If anything, it feels fresh, to be thinking about stuff like that." 
I also preferred to be the one listening over having to speak myself. 
Almost as if feeling down, Tarumi sunk her head and averted her eyes. 
"I don't know the current you, Shima. Naturally, that goes the other way as well." 
"Right..." 
"Yeah. I... I want to know more about you. I want to learn to know who you are. There are also things I want you to know about me." 
None of this felt like the kind of stuff you would've expected to be coming from the mouth of a self-proclaimed delinquent. 
There, in the middle of our conversation, Tarumi flipped the okonomiyaki. I couldn't help but feel impressed; her field of vision was surprisingly wide. 
I dare say, had it been Adachi sitting opposite to me instead, turning the piles of grilled goodness over would almost certainly have revealed a horribly charred underside. 
"I want us to share our present, or something. After all, everyone's always living in the moment." 
There were times that Tarumi's words exposed her sensitivity in its raw, unpolished state, and it became hard for me to follow. This was one of those occasions. 
And yet, it was exactly for that reason, her words being rough and crude, that their touch left a great impression. 
Tarumi lifted her head. 
"To sum it up, Shima..." 
"Yeah?" 
"What I'm trying to say is, we've... we've known each other for a long time... and I want that to stay true. I want you to remain before me. Or something..." 
Scratching her hair, Tarumi spoke out her mind. Had she thought that things weren't proceeding at a fast enough pace? Because it certainly felt as if she'd taken those feelings and flung them forward. 
I needed to take a mental step back to get my thoughts in order. 
In other words, our relationship didn't need to conclude with us being past friends, but instead, could keep growing from there. 
That seemed like a reasonable way to interpret what she was going after. However, just as I reached that conclusion... 
"Gosh, what am I even talking about..." 
...she herself brought her brows together as if embarrassed by her own words. It didn't stop me from opening my mouth, though. 
"I kinda feel like I understand what you're saying." 
"No, please don't. It's embarrassing", she quickly stated, waving both her hand and the spatula in the air before her. Right. When you simplified her thoughts like that, they did sound like something you'd hear from the mouth of your average adolescent. I'd been worried whether or not she'd be ready to face that, and it turned out that I had been justified in feeling so. Leaving the details ambiguous might be a more sensible approach. 
"Fizz, fizz, fizz." 
The okonomiyaki continued fizzling, and matching its sounds, Tarumi sang. Was she doing so to hide her embarrassment? Listening to it, I couldn't help but giggle a little. 
There was also a part of me that wished the food would just be ready already. 
I ended up not having to wait for all that long. Still in charge of the food, Tarumi cut the now-cooked okonomiyaki into two pieces and lifted one of them onto my plate. The other one remained on the grill; instead of touching it, she seemed far more interested in observing my reactions. Stuck under her gaze, I moved the chopsticks, breaking off a part and bringing it to my mouth. It was incredibly hot. Still, not wanting to act shameful in front of her, I forced myself to remain calm and swallowed the lump, thoroughly burning my mouth in the process. I wonder, were my eyes welling up? Hopefully not. 
"What do you think?" 
"Mmh." 
Tarumi seemed a bit worried, and after I was done pretending, I gave her a quick smile. 
"It's good." 
"Right?"  


A look of pride appeared on her face. Watching her smile, I couldn't help but smile a little myself. 
"You like this kind of stuff, right, Shima?" she asked, her eyes bouncing between the plate and my face, just like Mom's whenever she boasted about her cooking. 
"This kind?" 
Tarumi pointed her chopsticks in the direction of the okonomiyaki before opening her mouth. 
"At the children's club", she explained as if urging me to remember. 
It worked, and soon, a certain memory popped into my mind. 
"Oh, right. That thing." 
There had been a time when we had all gone from the children's club to a nearby okonomiyaki restaurant for lunch. 
Though I couldn't remember the details, yes, I think we might have discussed what we liked back then. 
She'd matched my tastes as I'd described them perfectly, all the way down to the cheese flavour. I was quite shocked. 
"You sure remember that well." 
To be completely honest with you, I couldn't even begin to repeat what she'd told me. I simply didn't remember. 
I was heartless, wasn't I? 
"Of course I do. I'd never forget something that has to do with you, Shima", Tarumi stated while scratching her cheek. The way she spoke showed no hesitation, as if she saw what she'd just said as the most natural thing in the world. 
I could feel the liquid I'd been in the process of swallowing lump up in my throat. 
I moved my chopsticks. Smiling, Tarumi watched me do so. 
"Eat up. It'll get cold otherwise." 
"Right." 
Tarumi hadn't touched her portion yet. Instead, she'd simply sat there staring at me, her chopsticks in her hand. 
Having at last finished eating, we downed our teas and waited a bit for our stomachs to settle down before once again heading out. Just like before, Tarumi had grabbed my hand, and without letting go of it, she ended up leading me down a familiar road. It was the road I used to take to elementary school. 
The scenery along it had changed quite a bit from those days. For example, a convenience store I'd never seen before had opened its doors at some point. There were more intersections than before too, as well as a brand-new supermarket. And yet, despite all that, the large cat sign with its muddy eyes, like marble balls, remained where it had always been. Looking at it, I found myself feeling slightly relieved. 
It's been a while, I silently greeted the cat, not a day older since I last saw it. 
"Oh, there's some shop over there", Tarumi stated while pointing at the billboard outside the building before us. Although the sign was made of wood and was full of crumples like an aged pickle, the store itself appeared quite fancy, with its exterior wall painted in a pleasing mix of purple and yellow. There were also ribbons attached around the doorway. If not for the sign saying "sundries", I wouldn't have had any idea what sort of store it was. 
"Wanna check it out?" 
"Huh? Okay." 
Still holding my hand, Tarumi dragged me in. 
The store seemed just as fancy inside as it had outside. Everywhere you looked, there were all sorts of coquettish goods on display. Also, for someone who had stumbled on this place by pure coincidence, Tarumi sure seemed confident in the way she walked. That was to say, her feet carried us in a straight line to the back of the store where they sold decorative straps. She then pointed towards the shelf before suggesting the following: 
"Wanna buy matching ones?" 
"Huh? Okay." 
The straps were a bit too large to comfortably dangle off a phone, leading me to assume that you were meant to attach them onto your bag instead. 
Coincidentally, I didn't have anything attached to mine at the moment. Perfect timing? Still, there was a potential problem; if Tarumi really wanted to buy matching ones, then we would have to pick something that fit both of our personalities. 
"Which one would you like, Shima?" Tarumi asked while pointing at each of the straps with her finger one after another. A frog, a sheep, and a cat, in that order. 
"Out of these, I'd go with the cat." 
I couldn't remember who, but someone had once evaluated me to be a cat person. 
Made sense; I did like crawling under the kotatsu. Oh, and before you ask, Adachi was undoubtedly a dog person. 
I wonder, which side did Tarumi fall on? 
"Alright, cat it is then." 
Wasting no time, she began reaching for the strap. 
"No, wait. Wait", I rushed to stop her. "I can't make a choice without hearing your opinion first." 
"I like what you like, Shima." 
Tarumi averted her eyes. Then, after a bit of time spent scanning the store, she turned them back towards me. 
"I like... what you like", she repeated herself. It almost sounded as if she'd been about to say that she liked me. If I'm being honest with you, I found the whole situation a bit embarrassing. 
Ultimately, the unique sense of zeal she had to her gaze ended up overwhelming me. 
I grabbed the first thing I saw just to get it over with. 
"Let's go with this bear." 
The bear's smile was soft and its body cutesy. It was the kind of thing I wouldn't mind at all having dangle off my bag. 
"Oh, I like that too. I... love it!" 
Tarumi's cheerful reaction came slightly delayed. She spread her arms wide open, striking a pose which I could only describe as a ninja clinging onto a giant squid. 
"Do you really?" 
"Yep. It's cute." 
Her reaction was plain enough to leave me no room to complain, and I ended up grabbing bears for the both of us. Coincidentally, I wasn't the only one interested in them; there was a man next to me wearing a pointed hat—like that of a witch's—who picked up a strap of his own right after me. He even went on to call it cute, which, judging by the way he was looking in the opposite direction with a fed-up look on his face, didn't appease the second man standing beside him. He too was wearing a hat—his being green. It felt like a pretty rare sight, a pair of men visiting a store such as this one. 
I vaguely remembered having seen the latter of them before. But where? I began searching my memory, but was quickly forced to stop as Tarumi took my hand. 
"Let's buy them before you change your mind, Shima." 
I wanted to complain, say that I wasn't that fickle, but Tarumi turned around and began dragging me towards the cash registers before I could. 
Having bought the straps and split the cost, we exited the store. There, Tarumi let out a giggle. 
"I wonder, are you going to attach it to your bag, Shima?" 
She sounded genuinely concerned behind her attempt to pretend like she was merely joking. 
"I am. Still, is that something you should be worried about?" 
"I'm not worried", she shook her head in response, all the while smiling wryly. "Knowing you, you'd lose it immediately anyway." 
"Hmph. What are you going on about?" 
It almost sounded like she was calling me someone who didn't take care of their stuff. 
That wasn't the case. No, wait... Was it? 
"I just mean, Shima, you don't really get attached to things. Or people", Tarumi stated, her eyes cast down in a way that made it difficult to read her expression. 
She didn't sound judgemental. Not in particular. Rather, it was like she was simply pointing out a fact. 
"I suppose." 
"I think it'd be fair to say that you aren't picky." 
"Yeah. True, yeah." 
I nodded multiple times. Her assessment of my personality sounded fair enough. 
Tarumi, on the other hand, continued staring at the ground, the look on her face seeming slightly depressed. 
...No, wait, was that really the case? Her skin didn't appear particularly pale. If anything, her cheeks were a bit reddish. 
"So, that's all. I'm just not sure if you'll cherish it." 
Based on both the way she spoke as well as her expression, I was able to gather the meaning behind our earlier conversation. 
It might be that her decision to go out of her way to state that she was fine with anything I liked had been influenced by this factor. 
The idea being that, if the object was something that I liked myself, I'd take better care of it. 
"Well, alright then. I'll treasure you", I declared to the bear, having pulled it out of the bag. The tiny animal stared back at me expressionlessly. 
"Do you mean that?" 
"You don't believe me?" 
"It's just, the look on your face right now is pretty dilute." 
Dilute? Her choice of words caught me off guard; never before had I heard anyone use it to describe expressions. I went ahead and touched my face with my hands, but no sudden realization hit me as I did. I was left just as far away from understanding what she'd meant as I had been before. 
"Still, when I stare at your face, your expression, I can't help but wonder what you might be thinking about. Sometimes, that's all it takes for you to los—I mean, win." 
Those words were barely out of Tarumi's mouth when her face froze. It was almost as if she'd suddenly returned to her senses. Hmm? 
"Or... something." 
She then averted her eyes. She seemed embarrassed, almost like trying to escape my gaze. 
Had it really been that embarrassing, what she'd said? 
The speed at which she had spoken seemed to imply that she was merely reciting something she'd thought up beforehand. As such, I was pretty doubtful that I'd get it no matter how much I racked my brain over it. 
"You don't need to think about it. Just ignore it, seriously", Tarumi stated hurriedly while giving my shoulder a shove. While she didn't push hard, the fact that I hadn't been ready meant that my head was free to swing around, leaving me feeling slightly sick. 
Also, doing as she'd told me seemed like a wise choice; I didn't get the feeling that thinking about her words was going to help me figure out what she had meant by them. 
However, there was another side to them. A part that I couldn't help but feel impressed by. 
Something about the fact that I didn't understand what she was talking about, it resonated with me. 
I felt it to be a bad habit of mine to—well, it was probably something that everyone did. Wait, no... Did the fact that I thought that itself exemplify the issue? Anyway, like I was saying, it was common for me to assume that others thought the exact same way about things as I did. If I had to make a guess, I'd say that this was one of the reasons why I didn't have any strong connections to those around me. 
After all, what was the point of making acquaintance with someone who resembled yourself? 
However, as it turned out, I was dead wrong assuming that most of the time, which was why Tarumi—someone who I'd spent a large portion of my life with—had a completely different impression of the situation at hand. I grew conscious of the invisible line drawn between us; at the end of the day, other people just weren't like me. 
It was a fresh sensation. As expected, it was only those other people who could make me notice it. 
The path we'd taken to get here was mostly the same, and yet, the way we thought about things varied massively. 
Human beings truly were mysterious creatures. 
Of course, whether I could step across that line and peer at her true face or not, that was another problem. 
Afterwards, we continued to loiter around for a bit, passed by the park where I told her about the boomerang, and then, a bit before three o'clock, returned home. To my home, to be exact; Tarumi had come with me here. It was like we were children again. 
"Would it be possible for us to go hang out again?" she asked me before leaving, her eyes turned to the side. What was up with her being so embarrassed about stuff all of the sudden? 
"Sure, I don't mind." 
Being able to spend time with her like this had brought with it new experiences. More importantly, we were friends. 
All things considered, there was no reason for me to refuse. 
Tarumi turned her head back towards me with such speed that it caused her bangs to wave. It resembled Adachi a bit, the way she moved while maintaining her posture. As I was busy making that comparison, she took my hand. 
Once again, she entwined our fingers, as if stroking them. I felt a strange sensation at the back of my palm. 
There, grasping my hand, she spoke: 
"Let's become friends one more time, Shima." 
I took in her words, as well as the other message, the one being transmitted through our palms. 
I could tell based on her passion that this had been the reason why she'd invited me to hang out today. She'd wanted to tell me this. 
A renewal of our friendship. Being friends with someone didn't work the way it did in manga; you couldn't do it without interaction. If you didn't talk with the person, if you didn't see them, the two of you would eventually end up growing apart. While I didn't have one yet, it was the same idea as with a driver's license; you needed to renew it every now and then. 
"Sure", I replied to Tarumi's passionate proclamation. 
However, I also glanced at her hands, as if adding a silent "but". 
There was something about this situation, holding hands while saying things like these to each other, that didn't strike me as fit for a mere conversation between friends. I wonder, was I the only one who felt that way? Possibly. Needless to say, I found it more than a bit awkward. At the same time, as Tarumi wouldn't let go, I was unable to shake myself free. For a while, we stayed like that, and soon enough, our hands began sweating in a way completely unbefitting the cold spring. The silence continued assaulting my disordered mind, until eventually... 
"Ah, Shimamura." 
...a carefree voice called out to me. Tarumi immediately raised her head, straightened her back, and let go of my hand. She even went as far as to hide hers behind her back. Seeing her reaction, I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed myself; it really was like we'd just been caught doing something improper. Anyway, the person who had walked between us, completely blind to the atmosphere, was none other than Yashiro. Grinning, she stared up at me. Had she been playing with my sister, perhaps? 
Tarumi didn't seem agitated by the intrusion of the mysterious child. Neither did she really seem to notice her. Instead, she simply turned around and jogged away with a quick "later". I was reminded of all the times Adachi had done the same. While the two of them didn't really resemble each other in a physical sense, when it came to their movements, their behaviour, I felt that they were quite similar. 
I wonder, was that why they were both so forceful in their approach towards friendships? 
Whether it be Adachi, whether it be Tarumi, each time we met, I felt like I was being pushed around by them. 
I let out a deep sigh, leaving Yashiro, who was currently hugging my hips, to tilt her head. 
"Is something wrong, Shimamura?" 
"No, I'm just a little tired." 
Tarumi had been in such high spirits, and though I had been merely acting myself, going along with her had still managed to wear me out. 
Still, that was how she had been back in the day. And how I had been too. 
Perhaps it was the current me that was the unnatural one. 
"...What is going on with me?" 
I felt right on the edge of falling into the pitfall of self-discovery. Yet, seeing Yashiro jump up and down in front of me while trying to cling onto my body, I was somehow able to avoid it. As I stared at her blue hair, another question came and swiftly plugged the hole. 
Was I really such a person that I needed to explore myself? 
No, I wasn't. Not when compared to the enigma called Yashiro. It was that lack of depth that saved me. 
"You can be pretty helpful from time to time, you know?" 
"Oh, yes, you don't need to tell me that." 
Laughing, I picked Yashiro up and shook her in the air. She was really light, and I could have kept going for as long as I wanted without my arms ever growing tired. 
"Did you come see my sister?" 
"Yes, and you too, Shimamura!" 
"Really now? Well, thank you." 
What was "I"? I now knew the answer: the person standing there in that moment. 
Having reached that conclusion, I began walking. 
Oh, and just to let you know, Tarumi sent me three or so messages the following day, all thanking me. 
She really did resemble Adachi. 


And so, two weeks passed from the beginning of the first term. 
The seating order hadn't been changed yet (from what I heard, it was planned to happen at the end of April), meaning that each lunch break, I'd get invited by Sancho's group to eat the stuff I'd bought from the canteen with them. Little by little, I was starting to get used to being surrounded by the three of them. I'd even learned to just keep smiling when the conversation went over my head. 
Truly, this felt like a whole new life. 
I was quite surprised how quickly I was adapting to it. 
However, just then... 
"Shimamura." 
...a voice called out to me for a second time during the lunch break. 
First Sancho, then Taru, and now her. 
April came, and with it, a third person spoke my name. 
That was how the saying went, wasn't it? "The third time's the charm"? 
I lifted my head to take a look at her. 
This time, at last, it was Adachi. 





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