Chapter 4 – Will and Friend
How long had it been since I last heard Adachi's voice?
In general? I wasn't sure. However, as for hearing it within the classroom we'd transferred to for our second year, this might honestly have been the first time.
"Shimamura", a voice had called to me. I'd turned my head towards it, only to find Adachi standing there. The skin around her lips and nose had been visibly tense, overall making her expression appear quite stiff. In a similar manner, the way in which she moved was as clumsy as ever, almost like she was a machine in a desperate need for oiling. I can't stress enough how unnatural she felt; I seriously found myself wondering if her bones were chafing against one another.
So, she had come to school. That probably also meant that I'd been right about her being at the sports hall.
I wasn't the only one taken aback by Adachi's sudden appearance; the other girls had also stopped eating and were now all staring at her, confused.
"Can I sit next to you?" she asked me. Personally, I didn't mind, but what about the rest?
I tried to examine their reactions, but based on their anxious eyes, busy trying to look somewhere else, it was pretty clear that no one was going to say anything.
"Be my guest."
She'd asked me specifically, so it made sense that I should be the one to answer. With that in mind, I invited her in. Well, I say that, but we didn't actually have an extra chair prepared. Rotating my head, I scanned the classroom for any free ones we could use. However, by the time I turned back, Adachi had already crouched down on the floor next to me. I suppose that took care of that. Following this, she placed the bag from the school canteen she'd been carrying onto the table.
The heavy thud the bag made prompted me to take a closer look. Let's just say, I was pretty shocked by what I saw.
"You have quite a few of those, don't you?"
Inside, there were three, or maybe even four individual pastries. Who was she, Yashiro? Could she really eat all those by herself?
"If you want, I can give you one", Adachi stated, turning the bag into my direction. I was already halfway through the one I'd bought myself earlier, although I suppose that, if she was willing to offer me something for free, then it was worth a look at least. Also, she sure had gotten generous, hadn't she? I distinctively remembered her being annoyed at the prospect of having to hand me money when we went to buy lunch in the early stages of our friendship. I compared the pastries before me, and out of these options, the jam bun seemed the most delicious.
And yet, I still hesitated to reach out for it.
"Hmm..."
My eyes shifted towards my stomach region. I kinda wanted to grip my sides and see how much extra weight I was packing, although being in front of everyone, I obviously didn't do that. Regardless, there was no way Adachi could possibly eat all these by herself, and with that in mind, I ultimately ended up accepting her kind offer—that being the jam bun.
"Want one more?"
"No, I don't think I can eat that much. Thanks."
The stiff expression on Adachi's face began to unravel as I thanked her. Ever so faintly, you could see the corners of her mouth twist into a smile.
It might have been due to the fact that all the muscles in her face had been tensed up that the tip of her nose now appeared slightly reddish.
Using Adachi opening the seal of her pastry as our chance, the rest of us resumed eating. Despite that, our eyes remained pointed towards her, and similarly, she continued staring at only me.
She didn't bother greeting the other three. No, it was like she hadn't even noticed that they were there.
Speaking of them, they continued eating without a word. Though they were all clearly curious about Adachi, no one was brave enough to go ahead and open their mouth. A massive hole had been torn into the dome of sorts surrounding us by the meteorite that was Adachi, releasing the languid yet warm air inside. Furthermore, with the way things were, it seemed unlikely this hole was ever going to be plugged.
As far as I was concerned, there was something about the sight of Adachi crouching next to me like a loyal dog that made it impossible for me to calm down. Was there really no chair for her to use? I once again scanned the room, and this time, my eyes came across one. I immediately got up and went to get it. Having received permission from the people around it, I picked the chair up, brought it back, and offered it to Adachi. She thanked me shortly before sitting down.
Satisfied that this matter was dealt with, I sat down myself.
"..."
Even now, Adachi was only ever looking at me. Not that I had expected anything else. Her gaze was so intense that I could almost hear it pierce the air.
I watched her munch the pastry with small bites, looking like she wasn't particularly interested in what it tasted like. There, our eyes met. Her pupils, turned slightly upwards as usual and tinged with emotion, caught mine. Unlike the dry expression she always had during class, the look on her face now almost made it seem like she was making an appeal of some sort. I found myself staring at her, trying to grasp the meaning behind it.
Gradually, I stopped paying attention to the questioning stares of the other girls. I didn't feel that the bonds between us were particularly deep, and so, in a way, you might say that it was a blessing that Adachi had returned.
The silence continued. How long was it going to last for? Likely until Adachi relaxed her posture.
In that case, I felt confident saying there wasn't going to be an end to it.
The thought of Adachi willingly entering our circle hadn't even crossed my mind.
She had really come to the classroom just to sit next to me? Perhaps.
Based on what I knew about Adachi, that did feel like something she would do.
Now, her pose. It seemed so... extreme. Like, did she have no idea how to conform with her surroundings? At the same time, it was very Adachi. I found myself wanting to give her a pass, almost as if my senses had grown slightly numb just looking at her.
What sort of change in mental state had she experienced to come here, that I did not know. What I did know, however, was that this must have taken her an amount of courage and determination near the maximum she was able to muster. That much was clear to me, sitting next to her.
It seemed more than likely that this knowledge played a part in the difference in reaction between me and the other girls.
The things Adachi had brought in with her were cold, putting them in direct contrast with the spring air around us. There was even some awkwardness sprinkled on. Did the gazes of the others hurt her? I couldn't imagine otherwise. Had it been me in her shoes, I would've found just the act of squeezing myself in overwhelmingly difficult.
It was for that reason I had no intention to disavow Adachi's choice. To use convenient, cowardly words, "to each her own".
There were those for whom even a hundred friends weren't enough, but also those who felt satisfied with just a single one. As such, what mattered the most was that each person had enough to match their own capacity. Adachi, well... It was a bit embarrassing to say this, but the conclusion I came to was that she was satisfied with just me. Assuming that was the case led me to another question.
What about me? Did I need more, or was one person enough? Though there were times I found myself thinking about that, I still hadn't reached a solid conclusion.
All I knew was where the listless atmosphere between us had disappeared to.
I'd predicted earlier that my relationship with Sancho's group would come to an end with the change of the seating order, but with the way things were, it seemed like it might happen before that.
School came to an end, and as if the lunch break was repeating itself, Adachi walked over to me.
I got the feeling she'd made extra sure to be the first to do so, almost like it was her goal not to lose to anyone else.
"Let's walk home together."
Silently, I stared up at her. This short pause caused Adachi to lower her brows, and looking at her, I couldn't help but smile a little.
"Sure."
I purposefully made my voice sound a bit unkind. Having perhaps caught on to my intention, Adachi's lips turned into a slight pout.
"What was that nasty tone just now?"
"You're just imagining it."
Using a simple lie to dodge any repercussions, I took my bag and got up. As I did, I could feel the eyes of someone else on me. I thought about turning around to see who it was, but ultimately, decided not to. There just wasn't any point to doing so; it wasn't like I could do anything anyway.
Then again, given that we lived in different directions, I suppose that "walking home" merely referred to us passing the school gate and then going our separate ways.
That thing during the day of the entrance ceremony, where she had followed me all the way to my house before turning around, probably wasn't going to repeat itself, was it?
Probably.
We exited the classroom. I glanced at Adachi's face, and just how you might have expected, her eyes and the area around them were far from stable. It almost seemed like she was going to start crying. Or better put, her eyes kept trembling. In a lot of ways, she brought to mind an image of a heroine from one of those old shoujo mangas.
We were in the process of walking down the stairs when I noticed that Adachi's gaze was focused on the bear strap hanging off my bag. It swayed from left to right, and matching its movements, so did her eyes. Was she interested in it, perhaps? With that in mind, I took the thing on my palm and showed it to her. This prompted Adachi to nervously open her mouth.
"Those things, they're some new craze?"
"A craze? I think they're more like, stable popular."
The fact that these had been sold next to straps portraying Anpanman led me to assume that the bear in question was recognized as a similarly famous character. Plus, if those two men who'd come to buy their own were of any indication, its gamut of fans seemed to run quite wide.
"It's kinda cute."
Like I'd promised Tarumi, I intended to cherish the strap and keep it attached to my bag. Also, a funny coincidence, my sister got really jealous after she saw it when I came home that day, prompting her to make a promise of her own with Yashiro to buy matching ones. As for her, well, she'd stared at the bear's face with intense interest before stating something to the effect of "So, they have animals like these on Earth".
If only.
"Say, where did you buy this?"
"You want one?"
"Y-Yeah. I was thinking I could... put one on my bag too."
"Hmph."
I was pretty sure they sold them in pretty much every store. More importantly, Adachi liked these sorts of characters? I found that part quite surprising.
However, just as I was thinking about that, she continued.
"To... match... with you..."
Adachi's mouth twisted into a weird smile as she stated this. Only her mouth though. I could also hear her faintly giggle to herself. Overall, her condition brought to mind an image of an airplane failing to lift off.
She wanted a matching one, huh? While I didn't understand her exact motives, there was something about that which felt very typical of her.
If she was to buy herself a bear, would the three of us—Tarumi and Adachi and I—go on to match?
No, likely not.
We exited the school building, and, even though I hadn't come by bike myself, I decided to stick with her till the bicycle shed. However, as we were walking there, Adachi suddenly gripped my index finger. With her head hung and her eyes tilted slightly upwards, she stared at me.
"Do you mind if I... hold... your hand?"
Before I could even say anything, my finger had already been wrapped within her palm. There was no retort left for me, nothing.
"Sure, go ahead", I stated back, leaving things to proceed however they may. In no time, Adachi's hand practically swallowed mine, gulping it down like a hungry maw.
Tarumi had taken my left hand, but Adachi, she chose the right.
That thought reminded me, Adachi didn't know about Tarumi. It made sense given that the two of them didn't share any connection, but still, I just couldn't help but feel like things might take a weird turn were that ever to change. I got the impression that Adachi was the sort of person who hated letting people play with the toys she herself had taken a liking to.
Still holding my hand, she used her remaining one to unlock her bike and pull it out. Personally, I was of the opinion that it would have been more efficient to start holding hands only after she'd done that, though then again, looking at it from her perspective, that would actually have been the more roundabout way of doing it. Dragging her bike—and me—Adachi made her way over to the school gate. That was as far as we would go together.
"Well then, later."
"Yeah."
Adachi's eyes began to visibly tremble as I bid her farewell, giving off the impression that she felt reluctant to part ways.
"Come on. We'll get to see each other tomorrow."
"Right."
"You will come to school, won't you?"
"Yeah..."
Her reply was followed by her muttering out something. She spoke far too quietly for me to make out the individual words, though I did get the impression that my name was mixed in there somewhere. Was she perhaps trying to say that the reason why she came to school was to see me?
If so, then I have to admit, I found that a little embarrassing.
Anyway.
"Umm, Adachi."
"Yes?"
"I won't be able to go home if you don't let go of my hand."
I lifted the hand she was holding as if to emphasize my point. Considering that she had the weight of the bike on her side, I would be at a definite disadvantage were this to come down to a game of tug-of-war. Adachi's mouth instantly fell wide open, and in panic, she began to let go. However, halfway, she stopped.
I could see the corners of her lips twitch, all the while her cheeks and nose turned deep crimson.
"I... I won't let you go."
"Huh?"
Adachi's face was growing redder by the second. Likewise, her lower lip continued to twitch, making it seem like she was filled to the brim with emotion.
"I won't let you go!"
"Yes, I heard that."
"I... I... I won't..."
Her enthusiasm quickly deflated. It was almost like she'd tried to be funny but failed.
The other day, I'd pointed out how Adachi had a tendency to resemble a dispirited dog, and nowhere was the similarity more pronounced than here; it really was the first image that came to my mind as I stared at her downcast face. To add to this analogy, the tufts of hair hanging on each side of her head looked, in a way, like dog ears. Oh, and don't take this as me making fun of her. It's more that, with all due respect, I found this version of Adachi to be way more amusing.
It was a lot of fun just watching her. I continued doing so, until eventually, Adachi lifted her head, her face still bright red.
"C-Come here for a bit."
"Huh?"
Her words had barely registered in my ears by the time she began pulling me by the hand. Faring just as badly as I'd expected to in this small match of tug-of-war, I ended up being dragged in the opposite direction of where I lived. While there was a part of me that worried she might take me somewhere really far away, I ultimately chose to disregard those worries in favour of letting matters resolve themselves and seeing where that would place me. Thankfully, that turned out to have been a reasonable choice, and we only ended up going around the corner of the school building before Adachi stopped.
It was there, by the school's back wall facing the nearby fields, that I remembered it: Adachi was a delinquent. Perhaps she was about to at last demonstrate her true character? Though obviously a joke, what happened in reality was almost as shocking; without any warning, she took a step towards me. After that step came another, followed by...
"Whoa?"
...her clinging onto me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and my back, and her slender body pressed against mine.
"I... I—!"
That wasn't even all, as next, Adachi began proclaiming something extremely loudly. This surprise attack caught me completely off guard, to the point that I almost found myself instinctively pulling my head away. The fact that she'd brought her mouth right next to my ear certainly didn't help.
I wonder, was this an okay time for me to tell her not to yell into my ear?
"Shimamura, I... I think you're... nice..."
Her passion ended up dying out before she managed to finish her sentence, which, in a way, was very characteristic of her. Now then, I was "nice"? What sort of "nice"? In what way did she mean that? I couldn't tell; the process through which Adachi had landed on that word had all taken place within her mind, meaning that only she could. I didn't even know if I was supposed to feel embarrassed or delighted.
Adachi wouldn't offer any further explanation. Instead, she simply remained how she was, her arms wrapped around me, slowly swaying her body from side to side. The way her head was positioned right next to mine almost made it feel like she was resting it on my shoulder, and it was this lack of distance between us which allowed me to sense the warmth radiating off it. Or better put, heat; based on how she was, I got the impression that, were I to wait for just a moment, smoke might start coming out from her ears. The flames would blow up, consuming her in mere seconds. That was the way Adachi appeared to me, like she was made of straw. Speaking of, was it about time I could ask her what her reason for doing this was?
"So, umm. Why did you hug me all of a sudden?"
Saying that she "clung onto me" sounded almost mechanical in my opinion, which was why I decided to use a different word instead. How Adachi reacted to my question, I wasn't able to tell; the fact that her body was still pressed against mine meant that I wasn't able to gauge her expression. All I could feel was the ticklish sensation of her breath hitting my shoulder.
"Because, for so long, this didn't happen. Nothing did..."
"Nothing?"
"You were with those other girls, and... and..."
She grasped me tighter, almost as if her fingers were digging into my back.
I was left just as clueless by her answer as I'd been before. And yet, within her trembling voice, I'd heard the slightest amount of bite mixed in. Those thorns had delicately stabbed the deepest parts of my ears, giving me the insight I needed to figure out what was going on here. Well, I wasn't entirely sure, but still, I had a pretty good idea. Lightly tapping Adachi's shaking back, I opened my mouth.
"Jealousy, huh?"
Her head jolted slightly in response to my words. Myself, I chose to give her a wry smile.
"What a troublesome girl you are."
With every small breath she took, the hair covering her ears continued to waver. Watching it, I couldn't help but pat her head. It seemed that this was what Adachi wanted from me, for me to play the role of an older sister, or perhaps a mother. I was reminded of the conversation I'd had with her actual mother the one time I'd met her, based on which I'd come to the conclusion that she was starved for affection. At the same time, things weren't that simple. She was in the same grade I was. Could I really do it, act as a replacement for her mother? I found my eyes turning away from the thought, my face growing stiff. Were someone from our class, Sancho or any of them, to witness what was happening here, that would no doubt invite a massive misunderstanding. Weird rumours would instantly start floating throughout school. Adachi was most likely aware of that.
And yet, being her, it might have been that she didn't particularly care.
Really, what was happening here? I wasn't sure. Regardless, I continued patting her back, comforting her.
"...So, are you good now?" I asked her after a while, having found a good opportunity to do so. Slowly, Adachi pulled herself away from me, almost as if she was drifting through space in zero gravity.
I looked, and saw that her face was now coloured bright crimson. It was a similar tinge of red to what you might expect to see after spending hours outside during the winter. Truly, this was the Adachi I knew.
The flimsy house of straw built upon the foundation of her being a second-year student had burned away, leaving only a grass-covered plain behind.
Having herself been the one to set that house on fire, some amount of the flames' heat appeared to still linger within her.
"Alright then. Now, I better head home. You too, Sakura. Okay?" I ordered her, going as far as to pat her head. This prompted Adachi to protest, her eyes turned upwards and her entire face tinged red:
"Why are you treating me like a child?"
Why? Was that really what she was asking me? I wish she'd make such objections only after taking a good look at her own behaviour.
"Anyway, please let go of my hand now."
I wasn't exactly a fan of how sweaty my hand was getting. Adachi's eyes grew narrow and her shoulders shook as she released me.
It was almost like we'd been connected by an invisible thread.
Really, what were we doing? That was all I could think of as I glanced at my palm, still warm even now that it'd been freed.
"Afterwards, can I call you?"
The way Adachi asked that made it sound like it was to make up for the fact that she'd had to let go of my hand. Apparently, she wasn't done seeking affection just yet.
"Could we eat dinner a bit earlier? I'm starving", I stated to Mom, standing in the kitchen. Explaining my reasoning from the beginning seemed like way too much work, which was why I decided to simply lie instead.
"I'm making it right now", she stated bluntly over her shoulder, sounding more annoyed than anything. Though technically a reply, it didn't exactly answer my question.
"Would you like an egg bolo?"
It was Yashiro who spoke this time, having slid in with a bag of sweets in hand. It seemed that lately, she'd pretty much become a permanent resident of our house.
I wasn't actually hungry, but I still took one. They tasted exactly how I remembered them.
"Well then, how about you eat by yourself before the rest of us?" Mom suggested. I guess she didn't always ignore what her daughter said, just most of the time.
"Okay, that sounds good", I replied before sitting down at the table. My little sister was definitely going to have something to say about this, that was for sure. "By the way, what's for dinner?"
"The roasted chicken I bought."
Chicken, huh? I almost wanted to comment on the massive size of the pieces she'd cut out.
"I can hardly wait", stated the blue girl, having, for some reason, sat down next to me. I stared at her, which in turn prompted her to hold up the bag of sweets. In what way exactly had she interpreted my gaze to assume that was the thing to do here? I had not the faintest clue.
"Do you want a bolo with it?"
Apparently, the wrong way.
Through this and that, I'd ended up finishing dinner before the rest of my family and now sat in my room, waiting. Patience most certainly wasn't one of Adachi's virtues, and to be perfectly honest, I'd been expecting her to call at least 30 minutes early. And yet, she hadn't; my phone had yet to make a sound even though it was already past 6:30. Watching TV, I waited with the device sitting next to me. Waited for that moment.
The second half of my day was growing to be quite Adachi-centric. It was almost as if a dam had been erected between us for the two weeks we didn't interact, and now that it was gone, all the things that had been building up behind it were free to gush out simultaneously, resulting in a flow so intense I felt like I was going to be swept off my feet by the sheer velocity of it. I couldn't help but ask myself, were the weeks that formed the beginning of my second year in high school going to be flushed away? Would this be the start of a different type of daily routine? If nothing else, I got the impression that my life was going to be slightly more busy going forward.
I wonder, was Adachi also sitting like this in her room, waiting for the clock to hit seven so that she could call me? I could almost see it in my mind, her kneeling on her bed with her phone resting before her. Imitating that image I had of her, I went ahead and sat on my knees myself. I then checked my phone, and it was there that I felt like I hit upon the truth; this pose, leaning slightly forward with my back rounded like that of a cat, this was the essence of Adachi.
I went on to kill some time with my little sister—absolutely furious that I got to eat before her—as well as Yashiro—having now turned into an egg bolo dispensary. Then, on the exact moment the clock hit seven, my phone rang.
Her accuracy brought to mind a cuckoo clock. Or perhaps, an Adachi clock.
I picked up the phone, put the TV on mute, and then answered.
"...Shimamura?"
Instead of a hello or anything of that sort, Adachi chose to start the conversation by confirming who she was talking to. Quite strange, considering that she'd been the one to call me, not the other way around.
"Yep, it's me. Good evening."
"E-Evening."
"Are your legs getting numb?"
"Huh? What? H-How did you—"
Bullseye. I couldn't help but let out a short giggle. Meanwhile, Adachi sounded absolutely shaken on the other end of the call. It was almost like she was worried I was somehow spying on her.
"Just a random guess. So, anyway?"
"Anyway?"
"Was there something you wanted to talk about?"
I decided to urge her to speak up. Not that I seriously thought it would lead to anything. Sure enough, Adachi replied the exact way I had expected her to:
"No, not... not really. It's just, we haven't talked on the phone at all recently, and..."
Recently? Try "ever"; it was rare for us to have a real conversation at the best of times, and much more so on the phone.
We were simply too plain to have anything interesting to talk about. Normally, people might resort to talking about mutual hobbies or school clubs they both went to, but with no such topics at our disposal, our conversations usually ended up falling flat.
And yet, we'd kept going for more than half a year.
There was one thing in common between Adachi and me: We were both equally strange.
"Adachi, do you ever find yourself wishing you had friends?"
In the end, I had to be the one to bring up a new topic like usual. This one specifically had come to mind after I'd thought back to the events of the lunch break.
"Huh? No, not really..."
Adachi sounded anything but confident in regard to her answer. She sure became passive when talking on the phone, huh?
It led me to wonder, how on earth did an introvert like her manage to bring herself to grab my hand or straight-up hug me?
"I..."
"Yes?"
Adachi's attempt to speak came to an immediate stop as she stumbled over her words. Then, after a few moments, she tried again.
"I already have you, Shimamura."
Her words caught me totally off-guard. Where was this coming from? It was only a couple of seconds later that I realised she'd meant it as an answer to my earlier question, a reason why she didn't need any more friends.
Even if her reply did ultimately make sense in the context, it still wasn't quite what I'd been expecting to hear. Something akin to "You're my friend, Shimamura" would have made more sense to me. Sure, they might both ultimately mean the same thing, but still, choosing to put it that way was just another weird quirk about her behaviour today that didn't quite coalesce with my past experiences. Now, this was going to take a while, wasn't it? Probably. I should sit down somewhere more comfortable.
Using my rolled-up futon as a cushion, I straightened out my legs. There, I once again heard Adachi's voice.
"Shimamura, do you talk to other people on the phone?"
Was this a new topic, or one connected to what we'd been talking about earlier? I wasn't sure. There was something about the way she'd worded the question that made it difficult to decipher the true meaning behind it.
"Yeah, I do, every now and then."
My mind immediately went to Tarumi. If I called her "Taru" and she called me "Shima", maybe I should start calling Adachi... "Ada"? No, that was weird.
"I see."
Those four letters came out of her mouth as a stiff clump, almost as if they'd melted into one.
Again, it was hard for me to tell if she was disappointed, or merely apathetic. In either case, her reaction wasn't a positive one, that was for sure.
"Do you find that unfortunate?"
"Why would I think that... That she only calls me... I only call her, but that doesn't—"
"Hello? I can't hear you?"
If she wanted to mumble something to herself with no intention of letting me hear it, then that was all fine and good, but you had to remember that we were having a phone call here. I could still hear bits and pieces.
"...No, it's nothing."
It certainly didn't sound that way. Regardless, I didn't want to press her on it, which was why I decided to simply let the matter go.
"Alright then."
"Right..."
Silence once again fell between us. I glanced at the clock, and saw that not even five minutes had gone by.
Rubbing my big toes together to kill time, I found myself wondering, what was going on? Adachi had brought up a topic, so did that mean it was my turn next? I kinda got that impression. Why I was driven by some weird sense of obligation to do this in turns, that I didn't know. I suppose it felt more equal.
"Oh, that reminds me. Thanks for the pastry."
I'd missed my chance to actually thank her during lunch, and doing so now seemed like my best bet to smooth out the awkward mood between us.
"Right, yeah... Yeah."
I couldn't help but silently giggle to myself. This conversation really wasn't going anywhere, was it? Now, imagine my surprise when Adachi actually continued speaking.
"Shimamura, do you like sweet things?"
What an ordinary thing to ask. In fact, so ordinary that it rolled over to being unusual.
Had we never talked about this before? At the sports hall, perhaps? I went ahead and tried to remember those days.
We might not have. Time back then had simply flown by, leaving nothing behind in its wake.
"Is there anyone out there who doesn't? Yeah, I like them quite a bit."
Not as much as my little sister, though. That girl ate so many sweets you'd be forgiven for mistaking her for a resident of Candy Land.
"Well then, next time, let's have some together."
"Huh? Okay, sure."
Doughnuts? Or souffle omelettes? Going for a crepe might be nice this time.
"H-Hooray."
Although her words were likely meant to express joy, sounding as stiff as she did, all they accomplished was make me feel slightly uncomfortable.
And with that, we fell right back into the valley of silence. Having to climb back up each and every time was starting to get quite tiresome. I needed more taurine.
"So, is it time we end the call?"
"Huh?"
Adachi sounded extremely shaken, almost as if someone had taken her voice and overlapped it with itself.
"We'll rack up quite the phone bill."
"Oh, it's fine. I... I have savings."
"Still, it's a waste of money if we don't say anything, don't you think?"
She'd worked hard for that money, wearing that China dress and all.
It really didn't matter, but every time I saw her in it, I couldn't help but wonder how terrible the dress would look on me.
The only way you could pull it off was if you were pretty. Like Adachi.
"No, not at all. After all, it means that I get to... Umm, get to..."
"Get to what?"
I could hear the sound of fingers tapping against a wooden floor on the other end of the call. The image that came to my mind was not that of a person eating candy, but instead, of someone who was irritated. The tapping eventually came to a stop, and after a short pause, Adachi continued.
"When I'm talking to you on the phone, I get to... hog your time... all to myself."
It sounded like she was having a lot of trouble getting the words out of her mouth.
A similar thing happened to me; for a moment, I found it impossible to say anything.
"..."
Hog my time to herself? That sounded like quite the heavy expression.
And yet, thinking back to all the things I'd done with her, it wasn't exactly shocking.
"...Adachi."
"Huh?"
"You are that sort of person, aren't you? The kind that feels like they need to hog everything to themselves?"
She likely felt similarly about our friendship. That certainly was the impression I got based on the events of the afternoon.
"N-No, not really."
"Hmm. I'm not sure if I believe you."
"I'm telling you, I'm not like that. I'm not. I'm not."
Sounding almost like she'd been pushed into a corner by my statement, Adachi continued repeating the same words over and over again.
I went ahead and imagined that sight, Adachi sitting there, all flustered and confused. As I did, I found my mouth opening on its own.
"Well, still. If someone sees you as being important to them, no matter what, I don't think that's ever a bad thing."
She obviously couldn't see it, but saying those words caused my face to grow quite red.
I pretended to laugh, although had she realised that I was pretending, it would have been even more embarrassing.
Now, how about Adachi? Was she okay? I tried listening for hints, but couldn't hear anything on her end. It was pure silence. I couldn't even hear her breathing. And yet, despite this, she was still on the line. What could be going on? Thinking that to myself, I turned to lie on my side, when all of a sudden, the strangest noise hit my ears. It sounded like Adachi was choking, like she'd tried to breathe, but instead of coming out smoothly, the air in her lungs had burst her throat wide open. The sound repeated multiple times.
I could only assume that she'd stopped breathing for some reason, and then, when she ran out of oxygen, started coughing violently. I won't describe how it sounded in any more detail here, because doing so would be a serious assault on her honour. Yeah, that's how bad it was. In any case, following her flashy performance, Adachi went on to say all sorts of things, sounding both tearful and self-loathing and a million other things all at the same time. I put every bit of effort I had into trying to comfort her—or to support her, I guess you could say—and before I knew it, a surprising amount of time had gone by.
Though quite abnormal, it might be that I ended up being saved by Adachi.
Now, was this a good time to end the call? I glanced at the clock, and saw that around thirty minutes had passed since we started. In truth, most of that time had been spent in silence, but still, I was surprised that I'd lasted for so long.
"See you at school tomorrow. Don't skip class."
"I..."
"Yes?"
Didn't we just go through this exact exchange?
"I won't. You shouldn't either, Shimamura."
Her sentence sounded half-baked, as if her voice was jumping around all over the place. I waited a few moments, after which I just had to let out a short giggle.
First Tarumi, and now her. It seemed that I simply wasn't able to let go of my policy of acting cheerful and open-hearted.
There were two things those relationships shared in common; me, and the fact that they weren't going anywhere. Wait... Huh? Was it my fault?
Adachi still wasn't showing any signs of actually ending the call, which was why I had to do so myself on a count to three. Dealing with Adachi, it was often the case that I had to be the one to take the initiative, and if I'm being totally honest with you, I found it quite exhausting. I simply wasn't cut out for the role.
The call now over, I pulled in my extended legs and assumed a position where I was almost hugging them against myself.
A groan of sorts leaked out from the depths of my throat as I sat there rubbing my knees together.
"Hmm..."
I wonder, was tomorrow going to be like this too? Or would the fact that Adachi had gone full throttle today mean that she'd be slightly more relaxed? On a second thought, that didn't really matter; things would undoubtedly follow a similar progression regardless of how calm she was.
Adachi would draw near me, other things would distance themselves. A span of time belonging only to me and her would be born.
Yeah, that's how it would go.
When I was with Adachi, all the possibilities and hypotheticals surrounding me grew fixed. Limit the people you walked with, and naturally, your choices would become limited as well. It wasn't necessarily a good or a bad thing, just the situation I found myself in. It also made me think; it went without saying, but like any other person, I ought to make the decisions that were the best for myself.
Adachi had made up her mind about choosing a path where she had no need for others.
Well, putting it like that might be over-selling it a little, but still, for a high school student, it was a very meaningful decision.
"As for me—"
Would I one day be able to finish the rest of that sentence? Softly, I closed my eyes.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login