Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 6 - Chapter 1.1

Chapter 1 – Beyond the Calender

The house of my grandparents (from my mother's side) was located upstream of a river. There were many of them in this region, and I felt like every time I glanced out through the window, my eyes happened to land on one. Also, as most of the days we spent here were sunny due to the season during which we usually visited, I'd often find myself temporarily blinded by the shimmer of light reflecting off the water's surface. Each year that passed, these same rivers appeared ever so slightly different, in part due of their own flow, but also because of that of time. 
Had I grown a little bit taller? Placing my hand on my head, that certainly was the impression I got. 
From the countryside characterised by dryness, we'd arrived to one where you could smell dirt everywhere around you. 
Though we were still technically within the same prefecture, the scenery surrounding us couldn't have been more different. 
The region was covered in rivers both big and small as mentioned earlier, and because of that, we were left to cross various bridges built here and there, forming almost a spiral of sorts when put together. Buildings and other structures became rarer and rarer as we proceeded forward, and soon, just as the valley scenery tinged with a shade of plainness began standing out, we crossed the final bridge and reached our destination: What stood before us now was my grandparents' house. 
If you were the sort of person who liked having a lot of parking space, then this was definitely the place for you. I really mean that; the plot of soil next to it was easily bigger than the house itself. The drainage left a lot to be desired, however, and in the indentation located at the very centre of the yard, there was a puddle of sizeable size likely left there by yesterday's rain. No sooner had I gotten out from the car than the song of cicadas filled my ears. There were no trees anywhere I could see, and yet, it still felt like the sound was coming from all four directions at once, almost like I was listening to a song in stereo. 
The thin layer of vegetation growing between the house and where we'd parked our car acted as a wall of sorts, and passing by it, what we found standing before us was the building's back wall. Why was the house set up in such a strange way? Who could tell. Whatever the reason, this meant that circling all the way around to the main entrance was far too bothersome for most visiting relatives—us included—making the handy backdoor the entryway of choice. We were still crossing the massive yard when something caught my eye. That something was an antiquated doghouse, its roof having grown dark from all the years it'd been in use. I went ahead and took a peek inside, but although there was a blanket there, its owner was nowhere to be seen. I quickly pulled my head away. 
You could really feel the warmth of the soil as you walked on it. You could also smell it. The smell brought to mind the image of something being burnt, scorched, and in a way, I couldn't help but feel like I'd returned home. My vision grew slightly wavy. Was the sun responsible for this, or was it perhaps something else? Again, I wasn't quite able to tell. 
"......" 
I'm sure they would have told us if he had passed away. I was sure of it. With that as my logic, I chose to believe that he was still alive. 
My mind filling with images of how weak he had been this time last year, I followed after my parents and entered the building. 
The drop in temperature as we stepped in was noticeable to say the least. 
"I'm home", Mom spoke, sounding quite cheerful and light-hearted in her tone. She didn't have to wait long for a reply: 
"Welcome, welcome. Your father is currently off visiting the neighbours, but I'm sure that he will be back in no time." 
My grandmother was the one who welcomed us in. But, it wasn't just her. There was someone else as well. 
That someone had been slouched down on the floor, but the instant he saw me, his head sprung up. 
"Gon!" I called out past Mom. 
Gon was an old dog. More than a couple of his teeth were missing, he was mostly blind in the left eye, and to top it all off, he had even started going deaf. And yet, here he was, wagging his tail as if in perfect health. I crouched down, and instantly, Gon leapt into my arms, almost as if giving me a hug. In response, I too patted his head and narrow back. This was how we always greeted each other. Given that our family only ever came here at this time of the year, it'd been pretty much exactly twelve months since we'd last done it. 
It felt so nice pressing my cheek against his prickly fur.  

"Hmph. Why does he only love Sis?" 
It was my little sister who spoke, her cheeks puffed in a way which signalled discontent. She did take a lot of pride in her ability to deal with animals, and I could only assume that was what was going on here. 
"Comes with the years." 
From the time he had been taken in as a puppy to now, Gon and I had always been friends. 
It was crazy to think how long ago that was. Nearly ten whole years. I'd been such a small child back then. 
"He was just lying there till you came along, Hougetsu. I bet he recognized you by the smell", my grandmother laughed. She was pretty much the same way as I remember her to be. Slightly older, sure, but not in a way that was particularly noticeable. You could even say that she was the exact opposite of Gon in that aspect. 
I remembered him leaping onto me to greet me when I was younger. There were even times when he got too excited and wet the floor. While he no longer acted that way, there was no doubt in my mind that it was simply a case of the years catching up to him. We were just as good of friends as we'd ever been. That was what I told myself. 
My grandparents did use to own a second dog as well, but unfortunately, that one passed away two years ago. I was planning on visiting his grave later on. Still, I wonder, would the same thing happen again? Would I once more begin doubting myself as I stood there, in front of his gravestone? There was one thing in particular that I was simply unable to recall, no matter how hard I tried. 
"Oh my. Hougetsu, you let your hair go back to normal?" 
"Ouch!" 
Without as much as a warning, my grandmother went ahead and pulled on my hair. It was just a few strands she was gripping, sure, but it still hurt a lot. 
"She finally quit being a delinquent", stated my sister. A delinquent? Just because I dyed my hair? Seriously, what generation was this kid part of. 
"How unfortunate. I thought it looked prettier that way." 
"Huh? You did? Really?" 
From the day I got it dyed till just now, not a single soul had ever complimented my hair. Well, I mean, the person who dyed it had, but that hardly counted for anything. It was her job. 
"Hehe. Of course." 
A grin appeared on the woman's face following her statement of approval. 
Was it alright for me to trust her? Hmm... It did sound an awful lot like she was pulling my leg. 
"Oh, he's back already? Sorry, sorry. I got myself lost there." 
Just then, my grandfather walked in through the front door. He was accompanied by another, equally old man. This one smelled like dirt, though, to a level where simply standing close to him made me cough. His skin was also pretty dark. Was it burnt by the sun, or was it that way naturally? I couldn't really tell. Whatever the case, it made his white beard stand out quite a bit. Combined with his turban and overall baggy clothes, the image that immediately came to my mind was that of a person living in the middle of a desert. I had to admire the man for even being able to walk dressed that warmly in this temperature. Also, worth mentioning, my little sister had hidden herself behind me at some point. Whereas I remembered this person and recognized him to be our grandparents' next door neighbour, I guess she didn't. 
"Ah, Old Man Iwaya." 
There was something distinctively childish about Mom's reaction. Based on the gleeful look which appeared on his face, I could only assume that the man thought the same. 
"If it isn't Yoshika", he greeted her in the same tone you would use when greeting a child. 
Huh. I had to say, Mom's name had a pretty weird ring to it coming from his mouth. 
"Hmm? What are you staring at?" 
Her reaction towards me on the other hand was far sharper. 
"Nothing. Just thinking about how odd that sounds." 
"Cheeky cheeky, Hougetsu." 
Before I knew it, the woman had grabbed my ears from behind and pinched them. This immediately prompted Gon to start barking. It was almost as if he was trying to intimidate her. I found myself quite startled too, in part because the sound was simply so loud but also because its source was right next to my ear. However, that wasn't all. 
I soon noticed something else. 
"Hehehe." 
Gon had chosen to take my side, mine. This realisation filled me with joy in its purest form, and before I knew it, an audible giggle had escaped my mouth. 
"Hmmm", Mom mumbled to herself in a way which hinted at something deeper before letting go of my ears. What that something might be, I didn't have the faintest clue; my goal was to simply ignore her in the hope that would put an end to this pointless exchange. Sadly, things didn't end up going quite so nicely, and soon, Mom took the initiative herself and stated the following: 
"Say." 
"What?" 
"What if I started calling you Hougechu from now on?" 
How on earth was this connected to anything we'd been talking about previously? 
"Houge... chu." 
"Shut up." 
Seriously, what went on in the head of this woman? 
Enough about that. I shifted my attention away from her, only to notice that my grandfather and the man with him were nowhere to be seen. Huh? Why? I was sure that they'd been here just a second ago. After a few more moments spent looking around, my grandmother came to the rescue and offered an explanation. 
"Oh, him? He went to play mahjong with his friends." 
You could tell by her voice that she was astounded, shocked even. So, that's what it was, huh? My grandfather had never been one for prolonged greetings, and by the look of it, it seemed that he still wasn't. I couldn't help but laugh a little. As I did, I noticed Gon's tail waggling in front of me. The fur covering it appeared quite worn out and somewhat patchy in places. Similarly, the speed at which he moved was nothing compared to how he had been in his prime. 
"Gon..." 
Once more I recited his name while patting his back. Doing so, I could feel some sort of moisture running through the depths of my chest. It was almost as if my heart itself was sweating. 
As much as I enjoyed playing with Gon, I knew that it was about time I started unpacking my luggage. With that in mind, I distanced myself from him and began making my way towards the room that had been allocated to me and my sister—currently walking up the narrow stairs closely behind me. The house didn't really have much of a second floor to speak of. There was this room, and, well, that was pretty much it. Also, worth mentioning, I was told this was the same room Mom had used back when she still lived here. As for the room itself, it was quite small, around the size where trying to fit in anything resembling a large bed would be a serious headache. Not only that, there was random junk lying everywhere. The place was completely out of order—just like Mom had left it. 
A pile of old issues of Shounen Jump could be seen inside the closet standing opposite to the bed. 
Fun fact about said closet: A picture representing the night sky of a faraway city had been painted across the folding screen which acted as its door. There was nothing more relaxing than staring at it while lying in bed after the lights had been turned off. You could see palm trees and what appeared to be an ocean beach, leading me to assume that the city pictured wasn't meant to be in Japan. If nothing else, neither of those two things were part of my daily milieu. 
"The bed hasn't gotten any bigger since the last time, I see." 
As mentioned earlier, there was nowhere near enough space for a second bed here, meaning that I had to share the one the room did have with my sister. This allowed me to get a good sense of just how much more cramped it felt each passing year. 
Hmm... I suppose it was really her who was growing, not me. And if it was the other way around, well, we had far bigger problems on our hands then. I went ahead and gripped my stomach through my clothes just to make sure. 
"There'd be more room if you lost some weight, Sis." 
"Ahaha." 
Make no mistake, the girl's fearless comment earned her a hefty punishment. 
Leaving her to roll on the floor, I exited the room and returned downstairs. I decided to look for Gon for no particular reason, and a few moments later, I'd already found him slouched down in the shadows cast at the corner of the living room, away from the burning sun. While his eyes were closed initially, the second I crouched next to him, they sprang open. I quickly shook my hand as if telling him it was nothing. The message was apparently conveyed to him as soon enough, his eyelids fell back down. 
Paying no attention to the cicadas which had entered the room at some point, I remained like I was, quiet, in perfect tranquillity. 
It was only when I was with Gon that time appeared to lose all of its colour and turn almost monochrome. 
Staring at Gon, the impression I got was that the joy he'd felt reuniting with me had been such that it'd drained him of all of his strength and left him completely exhausted. 
So, that's how it was, huh? He'd been happy? 
His feelings were likely similar to how I felt. 
I went ahead and sat down next to the old dog. Quiet, barely breathing, I shared the air with him. 
My grandparents used to own a second dog as well, and while barks could be heard echoing throughout the house back then, these days, with only Gon around, it was mostly silent. The other dog had died around two years ago. He was even older than Gon was right now, and if I'm being completely honest, the fact that he'd lived as long as he had was a miracle in and of itself. If I had to rate our relationship, I'd say that we got along relatively well, although at the same time, it was a far cry from how I was with Gon. I supposed the timing played a big role there; whereas Gon had been but a puppy the first time I met him, the other dog, he was already a full-grown adult. 
I wonder, had I cried when I heard that he'd died? 
That was the one thing I couldn't recall for whatever reason. 
I'd probably felt horrible. My chest had likely hurt. And yet, the memory just wouldn't come to me. 
I could remember it having been a warm summer day. Assuming I had cried, that would have caused my sweat and tears to blend together, forming a mixture where it was impossible to tell one apart from the other. 
"......" 
Looking at Gon now, it was clear just how weak he was. 
I remembered last year being worried that there wouldn't be a next one. 
Those worries had obviously proven themselves to be unfounded, but what about now? Would the trend continue? 
When the day came that Gon died, would I cry? 
Simply asking myself that caused my chest to become clogged with something dark. I could barely breathe. 

If I had to describe the sensation, I'd say that it was kinda similar to holding in your hands a lottery ticket which hadn't won. 
I knew for a fact that whatever I did, wherever I went, there was absolutely zero percent chance that I would run across Shimamura for the next two days. It was hard to put into words why, but something about that rubbed me the wrong way. It was as if the town had all of a sudden lost everything that made it interesting to me. I had no motivation to leave the house, none whatsoever. 
Never before had I realised just how slowly time really moved. I sat slouched over my desk, occasionally changing from one position to another. Three days? More like an eternity. Eternity without her, to be precise; when Shimamura was around, those same three days felt shorter than the time it took me to blink. Sitting there, my soul slowly being eaten away at by the tedium, I was forced to come face to face with the fact that the current me truly had nothing else going for her. I was empty. And yet, I didn't mind. That was, as long as Shimamura was with me. Should I call her? Or perhaps text her? Or maybe it would be better if I did neither of those things? Nervously, my hand moved back and forth as I gauged my options. 
I knew things were just going to get awkward if I kept bothering her all the time. I also didn't have anything in particular to talk about; having topics of conversation available to you required you to do more than lie in bed all day. I could go outside, sure, but I was so utterly dependant on Shimamura to actually do anything that I'd probably just end up walking around in the most suspicious way possible. Really? I would? Whatever, let's just move on. 
I pulled myself up from the desk and shifted my attention towards the calendar hanging on the wall. I was hardly going to forget which day Shimamura was returning on as that was pretty much the only thing on my mind, and yet, each time my eyes came across the red circle drawn around it, I found my chest squeezing tight. I'd start shaking as if someone had plucked the tightened string which was my emotions, leaving me unable to sit still. Round and round, I circled my room... round and round. 
I wanted to be with Shimamura so bad. 
Not a single day had passed since she left, and yet, I was already dying to see her again. 
After a few dozen circles around the room, I hopped onto my bed and buried my face into the pillows. 
Doing so caused the world around me to grow perfectly dark, and for the briefest moment, I found myself wanting to remain like this until Shimamura came back. 
I closed my eyes, my sole goal being to endure the situation I had been placed in. 
I knew that the next time I opened them, I'd find something wonderful before me. 
That was the only reason I was doing so. There was nothing about the darkness, the black void which I liked. Not anymore. 
Speaking of, I wonder, what was Shimamura's favourite colour? That seemed like such a basic question, and yet, as I now realised, I had no idea how to answer it. There were still so many things that I didn't know about her, so many gaps between us. At the same time, I also wanted to fill those gaps. I wanted to learn more about her. Having now found the topic of conversation which I'd been looking for, I went ahead and reached for my phone. 
"I was curious, what is your favourite colour?" 
That was the message I typed out. A bit overly polite, you say? I completely agree. I just wish I would've come to that conclusion before hitting the send button, not after. 
I waited for a few moments, my body swinging from left to right with my hands gripping my phone tight between my legs, until at last, a reply arrived. 
"Blue, I think? Maybe white?" 
"Really now? Huh." 
I'd honestly been expecting her to reply with something to the effect of "I don't really have one", and as such, her giving me a real answer came as bit of a shock. 
The image of her dyed hair appeared in my mind. Looking back to it now, that truly had been something else. 
I seriously wish I would've taken a photo or something. 
That wasn't to say that I didn't like how she currently looked. I certainly did. Heck, I might even go ahead and take a photo with her once she got back. 
Anyway, I could think about that later. I had far more important things to be focusing on right now. 
Blue and white, huh? Hmm... I opened my drawer and checked my clothes, only to find that I owned barely anything blue. As for white ones, well, I had even fewer of those. I went ahead and added some items onto my mental shopping list. Still, I had to wonder, would me choosing my clothes in accordance to what she liked run the risk of us sharing a colour palette when we met? Would we... match? No, no. That wasn't what mattered here. More importantly, would it be super obvious what I was doing? I mean, I had just asked her what her favourite colours were. Would she find that off-putting? Would she think that I was weird? Blue and white were colours that I liked as well, and as such, it kinda felt like... I don't know. I hadn't even purchased anything yet, and here I was, losing my mind over it. I couldn't help but get the impression that with every day that passed, my condition kept growing worse and worse. 
It'd probably be okay for me to ignore the whole colour thing when it came to choosing what underwear to put on, huh? I just mean, was I really going to wind up in a situation where I'd have to show them to her? Probably not. Wait, no... Definitely not. Those thoughts instantly caused my mind to grow blurry, and before I knew it, I'd subconsciously slammed my forehead against the drawer. Well, not really "slammed"; it was more like I'd pressed it against the wooden wall and rubbed it really hard. 
After the pain passed and I managed to calm down, I reached into the corner of the drawer and pulled out the swimsuit which lay folded there. It was the same one I'd worn when I visited the swimming pool with Shimamura. That'd been the very first time I'd ever used it, and in the same vein, also the last. Hmm, a swimsuit... Should I buy another one of those? 
Seriously, what was I supposed to do? I didn't get the impression that Shimamura and I would be going swimming anytime soon, and yet, for some reason... 
I turned my eyes towards the bottom half of the calendar. 
We'd almost reached the midway point of summer break. By the time autumn rolled around, I would no longer have any use for a swimsuit. The same was true of winter. No, they were only useful during summer. To that point, I honestly couldn't begin to imagine the series of events which would need to take place in order for us to end up visiting the swimming pool again. It was for that reason exactly why I felt it to be so important to have one ready at all times. 
On the bright side, money wasn't really an issue for me. 
The part time job I'd originally started to kill time made sure of that. While my salary wasn't anything to brag about, I'd still managed to save up a sizeable sum over time. The problem came with trying to spend it; hobbies, things that I wanted to buy, I didn't have any of those. But, maybe that wasn't a bad thing. 
As I'd recently learned, saving money for moments like these was far better than wasting it. 
It was a very precious sensation, I felt, knowing that you'd spend your money right. 
Speaking of work, it eventually came time for me to go there. I left the house without as much as bothering to change my clothes. The song of cicadas greeted me the second I walked outside, and in a way, even it sounded slightly more relaxed than normal. Summer truly had hit its peak and was now starting to wrap up. 
The first half of summer had been embodied by intense sunlight. I felt that in my body as well as in my soul. 
As for the second half, I wonder, what was it going to hold? 
I continued pedalling forwards, and with droplets of sweat dripping down my face, I eventually reached the Chinese restaurant where I worked. Worth noting, the establishment had actually changed its name at some point. It'd honestly been a pretty forced transition. I mean, sure, a new yet shabby-looking sign had been installed on top of the previous one, but other than that, not much had changed; the staff, the interior, even the types of food on offer, those were the same as ever. Was there rhyme or reason to any of this? I really didn't have the faintest clue. It might be some feng shui thing for all I knew. Whatever the case, I couldn't help but get a bad feeling about it; the kinds of stores which had to resort to these sorts of superficial marketing tricks didn't tend to stick around for long. 
I entered the restaurant through the back door like I always did and changed my clothes in the dressing room (which also doubled as an office for some odd reason). 
It was only when I put on my usual China dress that the realisation hit me: This thing was blue. 

? 

There was a real possibility that the praise the dress had received from Shimamura was at least in part due to its colour. 
Doing my best to hold the annoying slit which ran up the hem closed, I entered the restaurant side, and immediately, the store manager tottered over to me in her usual penguin-esque walk. 
Behind her stood a girl who I'd never seen before. 
"Say hello to our new employee. She'll be working here for summer break." 
Like me, the girl was also young, and I could only assume it was for that reason she too had been made to wear a China dress. Its embroidered flower pattern was quite similar to mine, although that was where the similarities ended: Whereas my dress was blue, hers was bright red. To further build up the contrast between us, nothing about her behaviour suggested that she was embarrassed to stand there. 
China dresses were definitely not a piece of clothing the average person would've had the opportunity to try out, and yet, for some reason, it almost looked like she was used to wearing one. 
Also, I should mention, the girl's legs were really long. A bit too long even, I would say. 
"I look forward to working with you. I hope you can show me around." 
"Oh, umm... Right." 
This was the first time in my life that I'd worked with someone who appeared to be even remotely my age. There'd been one lady who came pretty close, being just slightly older than me, but even she had ended up quitting at some point. Or not; for all I knew, she could've just been moved to work at another establishment. 
The Taiwanese-run Chinese restaurants in this town were all connected to one another in some way, and as such, it was not at all uncommon for employees to be shuffled around when the need came. 
Not that it really mattered from the worker's point of view. And yet, I had to wonder, why was it that we'd hired someone new? As far as I knew, we weren't getting anywhere near enough customers to warrant that. Was the restaurant perhaps starting to go under? The fact that they'd felt it necessary to create a whole new sign to attract customers definitely made it seem so. Then again, there was hardly a reason for me to be worrying about such things; even if the place did go bankrupt, I'd just quit this job and be done with it. 
I had already saved enough money to spend on Shimamura. Spend with Shimamura? No, that didn't sound right either. Regardless. 
"Hey, sorry", a voice called out to me. I quickly turned around, only to find the new girl—my junior, I suppose, even if it hardly felt that way—standing there. "What", I asked using my eyes, prompting her to smile at me brightly. It was quite difficult to tell when I was the one wearing it, but looking at her now, I was made aware just how eye-catching the lustre of the China dress truly was. 
"Are you younger than me? It's just, nothing about you gives me the impression that you've worked here for a long time." 
What a bold assumption to make. It seemed that the girl had already come to a conclusion and was only asking me to confirm her suspicions. 
I gave her no answer. And yet, she remained where she was. 
"Hmm..." I could hear the girl—most likely older than me—mumble to herself while tilting her head with her hand pressed against her chin. If I'm being completely honest, this whole situation made me feel quite uncomfortable. 
"I remember seeing you before somewhere." 
Hmm? Could it be? It kinda felt like if were I to speak out my suspicions here, that might give life to a whole different story. 
That something might happen if I just focused on the person before me. 
"Well, I don't remember seeing you." 
I chose not to do so in the end. Why? Because I simply had no need for it. 
Rejecting her, I turned around and walked away from the girl. As much as having a sociable personality was a good thing, I really felt like what she was doing here crossed into the territory of acting over-familiar. 
Shimamura too had tendency to approach me in a very casual manner, and yet, when she did so, I found it almost pleasant. It was nothing at all like what was happening here. 
So then, what exactly was the difference between the two of them? I simply didn't know. I kept thinking about it the whole time while serving customers, and yet, I still wasn't able to reach a solid conclusion. 
There was only one thing I knew for certain: I was utterly incapable of thinking about Shimamura without losing my focus. My imagination quickly began jumping all over the place, and before I knew it, the situation had gotten completely out of hand. Likewise, my usually tight expression started to soften, and despite my best efforts to keep myself in check, doing so only caused further thoughts of Shimamura to flood my mind. I suppose you could call this a vicious cycle. However, personally, I didn't mind it at all. 
The restaurant's air conditioner was no match for the burning-hot feelings running through me. I went ahead and reached for them, in the process experiencing the truth—the real reason for why I felt this way. 
It was quite difficult to put it in concrete terms. 
I couldn't help but feel like were I to actually say my feelings out loud, they would simply dry up and crumble away, like dust. 
Whatever the case, I now understood that it had to be her. Shimamura was the one. 

Whenever we visited my grandparents, we always had the same type of food for dinner. This time was no exception. 
What was it? Meat cutlets. Both pork and chicken. A whole load of them had been prepared, and I could only assume that was due to us being here; no way did they eat this much on the regular. Besides the cutlets, there was also some local miso on offer to act as sauce. I could almost feel myself shrink in terms of height as I glared at both them. It was like I was returning to my childhood. 
Of course, that was merely an illusion; when I actually sat down and glanced at my grandmother sitting opposite of me, I noticed that even she was quite a bit shorter than I was. 
"Thank you for the food", I stated with my hands pressed together. Sitting next to me, my sister did the same. It was only polite to do so. And yet, Mom seemed to disagree; by the time I pulled my hands apart, she'd already begun eating. A wide grin formed on the woman's face as she proceeded to munch down the cutlets covered in miso. In particular, her smile was aimed towards my grandmother. 
It was there that it hit me: This used to be where Mom lived. This was her house growing up. 
The place where she'd spent her childhood. 
"The best thing about coming here to visit is that I don't have to cook." 
Great delight could be heard in the woman's voice as she stated that, promptly earning herself a sigh of disapproval coming from my grandmother. 
"If you keep that up, there won't be any left for the children to eat." 
"Oh, no. It's fine." 
There was clearly far more food on offer here than a party of our size could reasonably consume. If anything, we'd probably end up having to save the leftovers and then eat them for lunch tomorrow. That was something that always tended to happen when we visited. 
"Exactly", my grandfather nodded. He was also dining with us. Dad felt it necessary to participate too, choosing to gently shake his head from side to side. He was typically a very light eater, that man. Speaking of light eaters—or the opposite, really—had Yashiro been here, she would likely have had no trouble whatsoever munching down every last cutlet on the table. Though her small size might trick you into thinking otherwise, let me tell you, that girl was a real glutton. I wonder, was she doing okay? She hadn't sneaked into our house or anything like that, had she? I honestly wouldn't even be surprised; she was very much like a pet in that sense. For more reasons than one, I could never rest easy when I had to take my eyes off her. 
Pouring some miso onto my cutlet, I shifted my attention towards Gon, now slouched down in a corner over at the kitchen. 
He was currently pecking at a thin slice of dry bread my grandmother had given him. In terms of size, the slice was closer to what you would've expected to be fed to a small bird rather than a grown dog. Adding to this, Gon's mouth moved quite slowly, almost reluctantly, leaving me with the impression that he was all but forcing himself to eat. 
Back in the day, giving him any sort of snack would cause him to endlessly pester you for more, but now, that was no longer the case. 
Speaking of which, the expression on his face when he used to do that—or rather, his behaviour—it kinda resembled Adachi. 
Not to say that Adachi was annoying or clingy or anything like that. She really wasn't. And yet... And yet, what she'd done the other day, that seriously had gone a step too far. I had not the slightest clue what it was she'd tried to convey; the way she jumped from one point to the next with no apparent rhyme or reason made it impossible for me to follow along. By the time she finished, I kinda wanted to ask her to rewind to the beginning and start over, but as doing so hardly felt appropriate in the moment, I instead ended the call, still unsure what exactly I'd just witnessed. 
The fact that she'd been crying the whole time certainly didn't make trying to interpret her words any easier. 
I mean, seriously; her sentences had soon begun melting together, and by the end of it, all I could hear on the other side of the call was the sound of her sobbing uncontrollably. The only parts even remotely intelligible came when she said my name. 
It was similar to how I imagined it would feel like if someone were to pour over-cooked porridge down my ears. 
At the same time, looking back to it now, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd perhaps done something wrong. 
Maybe it would've been for the best had I acted more brave and asked her to repeat herself. 
"Hmm..." 
What was the right thing to do here? I continued thinking about it while munching down on the last bits of breading left in my mouth. I could bring the topic up again, I suppose, but that just seemed like such a massive pain. Should I act like nothing had happened then? Hmm, that might be the safest option. I wouldn't really be solving the problem as much as pushing it aside, sweeping it under the rug, and while that would definitely ease the burden on me at the moment, I just couldn't help but feel like it'd one day come back to bite me in the butt. 
It was kinda similar to neglecting your studies, only to find yourself having to work twice as hard later on. 
Summer break was ending, and soon, I would start my second school term for the year. 
Adachi would too, most likely. 
"Watch out, Sis. You're creating an ocean of miso." 
"Huh?" 
Prompted by the girl's comment, I turned my eyes towards my plate, only to find the thing covered in miso just like she'd said, with a cutlet I'd not yet finished swimming in the middle of it all. 
"Oh no!" 
Panicking, I reached for the poor cutlet, rescuing it as quickly as I could. Unfortunately, I was too late; by the time I managed to pick it up, its delicious breading had already grown completely soggy. 
"Hehe", Mom laughed. It almost sounded like she was taunting me. Quite the disgraceful thing to do for someone of her age, I had to say. 
I went ahead and flicked my chopsticks at the woman, flinging a few droplets of miso her way in the process. 
"I definitely don't want to grow up to be like you." 
"Like you could even if you wanted to. Hehe." 
Seriously, what was going on here? I was far too confused to even get mad. 
"Speaking of. Mother, is your knee doing better? I remember you complaining about it a while back." 
The area around her mouth covered in miso, Mom went ahead and changed the subject. What exactly did she mean by "speaking of"? Was this somehow related to what we'd been talking about earlier? I couldn't tell; this was all news to me. Quickly, everyone's eyes turned towards my grandmother. 
"Hmm, yes, it healed", the old woman stated bluntly, continuing to chew on her chicken cutlet. 
"Really? So, you're all good now?" 
"As good as you can be at this age." 
Another blunt comment. It almost sounded like she was trying to dodge the question, to avoid answering it. 
There was something about those words of hers that really made me think. Before I knew it, I'd instinctively shifted my attention towards Gon. 
He was still lying there in the corner of the kitchen, his muddy eyes staring into space. 
By no means was his condition one I would describe as being good. I mean, at least he wasn't in pain, but that was really the best thing I could say about him. 
Bound by his disabilities, I wonder, what was it that Gon wanted from this world? 
Peace of mind? Freedom? 
Or perhaps something more forward-facing? 
"Hmm... So salty." 
It probably came as a surprise to no one, but the miso-soaked cutlet I was eating really packed a punch. I'd even go as far as to say that it was slightly too flavoured for my taste. 
To make matters worse, there was still a literal mountain's worth of the stuff left on my plate. 
"Eat it all, hey hey~. Leave no leftovers, hey hey~. Once you're done, lick your plate clean, hey~!" 
"....." 
Reap what you sow and all that, yes, but in that moment, I too found myself wanting to be set free. 

I had my phone and my swimsuit, both neatly lined up. Hmm... Looking at it again, this truly was quite the bizarre situation I found myself in. 
My eyes jumped between the two objects. I'd bought the swimsuit on my way back from work with the intention of showing it to Shimamura, and while it had seemed like a great idea back then, I now had to wonder, was it? Or was it just stupid? Definitely. It was definitely stupid. Alright, good; I managed to stop myself in time before messing up. You could say that I was acting quite level-headed today compared to how I was usually. And yet, despite all of that, I was still just as curious to hear what she thought of the swimsuit as I'd been in the store. 
How nice would it be to once more go with her somewhere I could use it. 
Hmm... Should I ask her? Thinking that, I leaned over to my phone. I mean, sure, we'd visited the pool earlier, but that was hardly a reason why we couldn't go. I had so many other places in mind too, so many places that I wanted to visit with her. 
Like, a summer festival, for example. I'd definitely like to attend one of those. 
Back when I was still a child, I'd been taken by my parents to visit one. I still remembered the sky and all the different colours which had filled it. So many thoughts had passed through my mind while I was there. And yet, I'd been utterly incapable of expressing any of them. 
I had a feeling that this time, things would be different. I'd be able to enjoy myself without holding back. 
The specifics of the destination didn't really matter; the fact that Shimamura was with me was more than enough to make going anywhere meaningful, valuable. I truly believed so. 
It was for that reason I decided to push back my fears and call her. 
All that cowering in fear was going to result in was me losing my chance. 
The memory of that night was still fresh in my mind. The only thing I'd been able to do back then was watch as she walked away from me, and even now, simply thinking about it made me feel like I might break into tears. 
Summer festival. Shimamura had been there, laughing and smiling, and next to her, there'd stood another girl. The impression I was left with was that the two were close. Very close. 
Just who was she? I really wanted to know. And yet, I was also scared. Scared to hear those words coming from Shimamura's mouth. I didn't want her to tell me about the other girls she was friends with, how close she was to them. Were that to ever happen, there was a real chance that my ears might straight-up catch fire. The flames of jealousy would consume my body. That was all to say, I had not the slightest bit of confidence in my ability to remain still, to keep my emotions in check. I'd already blown up on her once, and while she met me with patience back then, I couldn't be sure that she'd be as kind were I to do it again. She might very well abandon me for all I knew. And if there was one thing I didn't want to happen no matter what, it was that. 
I had to keep myself under control. I knew that. And yet, whenever I thought about Shimamura, whenever we met, a flood of emotion instantly rushed over me. A violent storm began raging in the very centre of my heart, one which grew more fierce with each second that passed. Allowing myself to get too excited was certainly not something I should be doing, but neither was distancing myself from her. The right path forward lay somewhere in between. You needed to be able to balance between the two extremes, which in turn required experience. Experience which I lacked. 
Looking at myself from an objective point of view, it was clear that I was still very much a child. 
Case in point, my calendar: Only a single one of its many dates had been circled. 
Three more days remained. 
That was where Shimamura was right now, far away, beyond the calendar. I wonder what she was up to. 
"......" 
I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to have a connection to her, even if it was over the phone. 
After all, it was only when we were talking that I could be sure that she was thinking about me. 
I went ahead and picked up the device. I was scared, yes, but those feelings were far outweighed by the passion burning within me. 
Not wanting to surprise her or anything like that, I decided to text her first to make sure it was okay. 
"May I call you?" 
That was the message I ended up going with. Having sent it, all I could do now was sit there and wait. 
Hmm... I wonder, why was it that I'd felt it necessary to sound so overly polite? 

"So, yeah. I'm currently at my grandparents' house. If you think where we live is in the middle of nowhere, then oh boy, you should really check this place out." 
"Right, right. I guess that is something you do during Obon." 
The sun had at last set, and with it, the bright day had switched over to a night filled with the song of cicadas. I was currently making my way through the darkness, all the while talking with Tarumi on the phone. She'd asked me if I wanted to hang out tomorrow, but as I was stuck here, far away, I had no choice but to decline her invitation. My words had apparently brought her mind to the past as what she stated next was the following: 
"I kinda remember you bringing me something as a souvenir way back." 
"Really? I don't remember that at all." 
"Hmm, maybe I'm just imagining it then. It's not like our prefecture has any special goods or stuff it's known for." 
"Sure it does. Persimmons, for example. Ayu fish too. Oh, and can't forget about mashed sweet potatoes." 
Though I had lived here my entire life, all the things I'd just listed were the sort people from other prefectures would think about when describing ours. Meanwhile, I arrived at the doghouse and crouched down. 
My grandparents' house was hardly what I'd describe as being large, and because of that, I'd decided it would be for the best if I had the call outside. Wouldn't want to bother anyone babbling to myself. 
"Maybe. I do still think this is a really boring town with nothing of interest around. Speaking of... Shima, have you ever thought about moving to live in an actual city?" 
"A city? Hmm..." 
"Yeah. Like, entering a university in Tokyo. Or if not Tokyo, then at least Nagoya." 
The intensity at which those words came out of her mouth gave me the impression that was very much something Tarumi herself wanted to do. Leaving the town... Hmm... Honestly, I might not be against that. Though I obviously couldn't say for sure, based on what I heard, it was quite nice living in a large city. If nothing else, the old lady from next door was always talking about how neither of her children had looked back after moving to Tokyo. 
They saw it as being attractive, and most likely, Tarumi did too. 
"I haven't given it much thought. I'm not even sure if I want to go to university yet." 
That was the answer I gave her, earning myself quite the shocked reaction. 
"Huh? Really? You're going to find yourself a job and start working once you pass high school?" 
She was practically yelling into my ear. Was it really that surprising? I suppose so. Regardless, I really didn't have the sort of motivation in me that going to university and actually putting effort into studying required. Well, in that case, don't go. That was what I imagined Mom would say to me were I to ask her for advice. 
"Yep, I'll find a job. I honestly like it here." 
What about the bakery nearby? Would that do? I definitely liked eating baked goods. Plus, I even knew a few adults who worked there. Wait... Were those really the deciding factors? Probably not. And yet, I wasn't able to come up with any jobs that I would actually like doing. I had no outlook on the matter. 
Even now, the world around me was perfectly dark. I tried peering inside the doghouse, but I couldn't see anything. 
Nothing lived there. 
"......" 
"Hmm... Sure, I guess." 
Tarumi's voice circled around me, as if checking my surroundings. Like a wild animal observing something it wasn't familiar with. 
I wonder, were she here in person, how would I come across to her? 
I went ahead and changed the subject so that I didn't have to find out. 
"By the way, did you call me to ask for a souvenir?" 
"Huh? No, nothing like that. No. I didn't. Well... If I could get something, then sure, that would be nice." 
Tarumi finished her sentence with a small laugh. Hmm, did I have anything I could give her? Thinking about that, I decided to stick my hand into the doghouse. There, in the darkness, my fingers came across a blanket. I gripped the thing and pulled it outside. 
The blanket was not stiff or rough, but instead, extremely soft. 
Bringing it close to my face, I was able to tell that this was the same blue-green blanket I remembered from years back. I'd personally bought it for the doghouse, and unlike that place in all of its filth, the warm piece of fabric was quite clean. Care had been put into making sure that it was washed regularly. It was washed, and then placed here. 
In the doghouse which was no longer used. 
The realisation hit me, and for the next few moments, I found myself at a loss for words. 
Unconsciously, I began treading through the darkness in search for my grandmother. 
"Shima? Are you there?" 
"Yeah, umm, sorry. It's nothing. I'll buy you a souvenir if I happen to find something." 
I was now talking way faster than I had been just moments earlier. 
"It's fine, it's fine. Really, the only souvenir I want is... is to be able to see you." 
Speaking of talking fast, Tarumi sure was holding her own. 
"See me?" 
"Yeah. Like... That'd be enough. That's all I want. Wait, no, what I mean is... Sorry. I don't know what I'm saying." 
Her words merged together to form something between a long-winded monologue and a sincere apology. Letting them flow past me, I gently returned the blanket where I'd picked it up from. 
I suppose this was the essence of sentimentalism. 
Something slightly painful, as if a wave of cold air had entered your chest, leaving you to feel hollow inside. 
"Well then, I think it's about time I take my leave. I feel like I might lose it soon if I keep going", Tarumi stated cheerfully. What was she talking about? I wasn't quite sure. Whatever the case, it was difficult for me to imagine that it was anything positive. 
"Umm, sure. Whatever you say. Anyway, bye." 
"Yep. Can't wait to see you back here, Shima!" 
"Yeah, yeah." 
With those soft words, I ended the call. 
Then, approximately ten seconds later... 
"May I call you?" 
...a text message arrived from Adachi. I was quite the celebrity, wasn't I? Just joking, in case that wasn't obvious. 
Adachi always did this—ask for permission—before calling me. On one hand, I had to wonder if it wouldn't be easier for everyone if she just skipped the act and called me straight, but on the other, it did make her seem quite humble. That was one aspect of her I certainly didn't dislike. Why? Because it showed off well what type of person she was. 
"You may", I texted her back, only for my phone to instantly start ringing. I couldn't help but smile a little. 
An image came to my mind of Adachi patiently sitting on top of her bed, waiting for me to reply. 
"Yes, I'm here." 
"Hello." 
It kinda felt to me like our greetings would've made more sense if reversed. 
"Shimamura?" 
"Yeees", I repeated, stretching the word out for some reason. An insect I didn't quite recognize based on sound alone could be heard singing in the background. 
"Umm... Have you been doing well?" 
"Have I? Sure. Stretched out my speaking muscles just earlier talking to a friend." 
I didn't think much about saying that in the moment, but in retrospect, maybe I should have. There was a possibility that Adachi might get grumpy again. Hmm... She really was impossible to deal with, wasn't she? There was certainly a part of me that felt that way. 
Knowing full well that I shouldn't be talking about others given my own situation and all, the impression I got from Adachi was that dealing with others really wasn't her thing. Despite this, she was trying her absolute hardest to get closer to me, and though a part of me did wonder why exactly that was, I couldn't help but feel like asking her directly would once again lead us down a path I would rather not travel. 
Then again, it might be that holding those things in, allowing them to pile up and fester was precisely what had caused the earlier incident to happen in the first place. 
Human relationships were something which required both time and effort. 
This was even more true when you were dealing with someone so complicated. 
"Gulp." 
I could hear the sound of Adachi swallowing coming through the phone. Was she drinking something? Or was she perhaps simply sucking in extra air? 
Whatever the case, I really did get the impression that this was tough on her. 
"So... Shimamura, what is it like over there?" 
Sounding a little stiff, Adachi went ahead and changed the subject. While I would still be hard-pressed to call this natural, she was definitely improving. 
"What is it like? Sorry, what do you mean?" 
"Like... Are you feeling nostalgic? Does the air feel good in your lungs? I haven't experienced anything like that myself, so I wouldn't know..." 
"Oh, I get it now. Hmm, yeah, I guess you could say that it's pretty nostalgic." 
That was a lie. 
It also opened up a whole bunch of different questions, but instead of answering any of them, what I did was change the subject myself. 
"What about you, Adachi? What have you been up to today?" 
"Me? Umm, I went to work." 
"Really now? Well done, well done." 
"Also, I bought a swimsuit on my way back home." 
"A swimsuit? Don't you already own one of those?" 
An image came to my mind of how she'd been dressed during our earlier pool trip. She really had been on the offensive that day. 
"I do. But, err, I figured it wouldn't hurt to own a second one." 
"I see. Are you planning on visiting the ocean or something?" 
She was hardly the age where I imagined she'd go with her family. Well, not that it really mattered, I suppose. 
"No, I... Umm... I am, yeah. With you." 
"Huh? With me? This is the first time I'm hearing about this." 
"Oh, sorry. I meant it more like, it'd be nice if we could, so, err, would you like to?!" 
There was something about this invitation of hers that felt a bit threatening, almost as if her words were biting on my ears. I found myself growing slightly dizzy. 
Her voice also sounded a little shrill. Then again, I guess that's how she always was. 
"I don't think it's really a question of whether I want it or not. The ocean's nowhere near us." 
"Well, in that case... let's make it a river!" 
"Go swimming in a river? Isn't that dangerous?" 
I remember being warned countless times not to do that unless I wanted to slip on a rock and end up with my whole head covered in blood. 
"If a river won't do, then... what about a lake?" 
What was she planning on suggesting next if I said no here? A swamp? 
Whatever the reason, there appeared to be something about water she was fixated on. Did she want to unveil her new swimsuit? If so, then would a spa bath do? Was it really that straight-forward? Hmm... Honestly, I found it kinda fun. 
"Hey, could you send me a quick pic of it?" 
"...Huh? Of what?" 
"Your swimsuit", I demanded, mostly to tease her. Adachi sounded quite doubtful, and while she did mumble something to the effect of "why", her voice eventually grew distant. 
It seemed that she was going to take a picture for me after all. Considering how strangely upfront she was about this stuff, I guess it only made sense for her to want to show off. 
I too pulled the device away from my ear and shifted my focus on the screen. I didn't have to wait for long, as a few moments later, a message with a picture attached arrived. 
The photo showed her swimsuit laid out on her bed. It was blue—my favourite colour. 
Hmm. While correct in the literal sense, this wasn't quite what I'd been after. 
"What I meant is, I'd like to see you wearing it." 
"Huh? But, why? For what reason?" 
"One more please." 
Ignoring all of Adachi's questions, I demanded a second photo. Why did I do that? Simple; I found it fun teasing her and seeing how she would react when all flustered. It was hard to tell with no mirror at hand, but I wouldn't be surprised to find that a slight grin had started forming on my face. After a few moments spent waiting in a slightly mean fashion, I could hear Adachi's faint breath grow distant. 
It seemed like she was going to take a picture, again. 
An emotion I'd almost be willing to describe as excitement filled me as I waited for her. The photo eventually arrived, and let's just say, it was everything I'd been hoping for. 
"Hah!" 
The swimsuit itself was fine and all, but what really caught my attention was the look on Adachi's face. It was like she was trying her absolute hardest to smile, but was too embarrassed to fully commit to it. Her mouth was all tensed up, her eyes were forced open in a really strange way, her hair was glued to her forehead with sweat. What topped it all off was the super strange pose she'd chosen to assume. Her left hand was stretched out as if taking a selfie, and while that by itself would've been perfectly normal, combined with the way the rest of her body bent slightly backwards, it made it look like she was one of those super heroes you saw on TV about to transform. 
While the photo was obviously a still picture, even now it seemed to me like her body was shaking. 
"Ahaha. Thanks." 
An audible thud could be heard in the background as I thanked her. And not just one, but many. It almost sounded like she was smacking her pillow. 
"Pretty flashy, I have to say." 
This comment was likewise followed by a series of smacks. I found it quite amusing imagining her doing that while still in her swimsuit. 
"Where exactly do you want to go wearing this?" 
The ocean? A river? A swamp? Various mean suggestions ran through my mind, only for Adachi to nervously state the following: 
"...A spa bath." 
So, exactly what I'd had in mind then, huh? I couldn't help but smile a little. 
"Hmm, sure. Let's visit one once I get back home." 
Was it weird for two high school girls to visit a spa together? There were likely people out there who would say that it was, yes. 
And yet, on some level, it might have been that very weirdness which acted as the driving force for our relationship. 
I certainly got that impression from time to time. 
We spent the next few moments talking about all sort of trivial stuff. It was quite the rare thing to happen; most of the time, both of us would simply fall silent after the main topic was dealt with. 
Then, a little while later, as my throat began to grow hoarse and the sound of insects transitioned to that of birds, I decided it would be a good time to stop. 
"Well then. Sweet dreams, Adachi." 
My voice ended up coming out way softer than I had meant it to. It was to the point where even I found it a little shocking. 
"Right. You too. Good night." 
Adachi's voice on the other hand sounded quite stiff and formal. Why was that the case? I had no idea. Regardless, I then ended the call before letting out a long sigh. 
So, that's how it was, huh? She'd gone out and bought herself a swimsuit? It really felt to me that Adachi was slowly changing as a person. 
I'd thought about her on various occasions throughout the day, but not once had it crossed my mind that could be what she was up to. 
Time passed and she continued to change, there on the other side of the calendar. 
Countless people were born every single day whether I was there to witness it or not. Those people grew older, met others and formed relationships with them, and then eventually died. The same was true for the smaller things as well; in any given instant, you could find a car travelling down the road at some distant country, a can of cola being purchased from a vending machine, a creature of the sea letting out a quiet breath. 
Be born anew and live satisfied. 
Grow old and dusty and be left behind. 
Never had I given that stuff much thought. 
I'd been so clueless, so naive as a child. Not much had changed since those days. 
I went ahead and placed my arms on top of my bent knees, using them to cover my face. I then turned my ears towards the faint sound of breathing that could be heard next to me. 
What I saw there was the image of me from the past, standing by the doghouse. I tried and I tried, but I was simply incapable of overlaying myself with her. The past and the present didn't mix. 
It was likely for this reason that my tears didn't come out no matter how long I waited for them. 
A sound played, prompting me to lift my head. For a moment, the world before me appeared blurry, distorted, mostly due to the fact that I'd just been pressing down on my eyes. 
That, and the night had grown darker as well. 
Adachi had sent me a text. Like the one before, this too consisted of just a single heart. 
"This has already become a habit for her?" 
After a bit of time spent wondering how to reply, I decided to send her a heart back. 
Aah, my heart, it's fading away. 
Just joking. But seriously though, I had to make sure to not go any further or I might not be able to keep myself in check. 
The image that came to mind was that of the ocean of miso which I had accidentally poured on my plate during dinner. Were my heart to become like that, all muddy and mushy, I bet it'd be anything but pleasant. 
Assuming it was experiencing new things which made you grow stronger as a person, the fact that I'd never been in such a situation myself might mean that I was actually far weaker than I thought. 
It was as if at some point, my body and mind had grown separated without me noticing. 
Still holding the phone, I allowed my hand to drop. 
There, staring at the empty doghouse, I immersed myself in the darkness of the countryside. 
The sound of cars in the distance brought to my mind the image of the city's night sky painted across the folding screen.