Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 9 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Tempest ~Sakura Christmas Scrolls~

This was my second Christmas with Shimamura. 

Well, I say "was", but it had yet to actually take place. 

"We're having dinner with the family in the evening, so as long as it's during the day, then it's fine." 

Those were Shimamura's plans for the day. Somehow, I couldn't help but feel like they'd been exactly the same last year. Her family sure meant a lot to her, didn't it? Perhaps that was normal? Perhaps I was the weird one for not caring about mine? 

I simply had no idea how to interact with my parents. I'd gone my entire life without bothering to learn how, and now, it was far too late. That wasn't the correct way to go about it, was it? No, it couldn't be. And yet, it was the reality I lived in. I'd have to do with what I had. 

Family, huh? I found myself spending the next few moments thinking about it. 

Would it be possible for Shimamura and I to one day become family? If so, then how would we go about doing that? What methods did we have available to us? Adoption? Hmm, no. That didn't seem quite right. Maybe. Maybe? The more I thought about it, the more confused I found myself growing. 

I decided to leave the topic of family be for now. After all, the real question I should be asking myself right now had to do with how I was going to spend my time with Shimamura. 

As I'd recently noticed, thinking about these things while loitering around was quickly becoming a habit of mine. 

What was it that we'd done last year? Walked around the mall with me wearing the China dress? Yeah, I think that'd been it. 

How nostalgic. 

"But... Why?" 

Why had I chosen to wear the China dress for Christmas? 

I tried thinking back to it, yet the answer simply wouldn't come to me. What must have gone through my mind for me to borrow such a thing from my workplace? Like, seriously. What had I been thinking? I came so close to clutching my head. It'd only been a year, yet already, I found it impossible to make any sense out of my own actions. I didn't even dare to imagine how those around must have seen me. As for Shimamura, she sure was tolerant not to have walked away the instant I showed up. 

While I personally found this tolerance to be a big part of what made her so attractive to me, the truth of the matter could have been that she simply didn't care about other people all that much. What about me? Did she care about me at all? I certainly wanted her to. Now, saying that didn't mean she had to be the one to make it happen, or at least not the only one. Surely, there had to be things I too could do to help. Thoughts like those quickly filled my heart with worry: If I were to dress normally like everyone else, then would that lead to her ignoring me like she did those people? 

Perhaps... Perhaps the China dress hadn't been the wrong choice after all. That was what I found myself believing—wanting to believe. 

There were a lot of times—especially during winter—when I'd turn to look at Shimamura, only to find her dozing off. 

I really did feel like I had to remain vigilant, or our days would end up flying by just like that. 

"Wait, no. Dozing off isn't really the right word." 

That'd be like, feeling super tired. Hmm... On second thought, maybe that was accurate after all? 

"Anyway..." 

Only now did I realise, I really did think about Shimamura a lot. 

What about her? How much did she spend thinking about me any given day? 

Five minutes? Ten? Assuming she was in a good mood, was it reasonable to expect even an hour? Perhaps. 

That said, I couldn't imagine there being anything about me she could spend a whole hour thinking about. 

I found myself staring down at my fingertips. They appeared so very thin. 

Were Shimamura there in front of me, would I feel nervous? Would I bite my lip, would my eyes jump around? Would the world before me grow dim, would I lose all sense of what I was saying? Hmm... While those moments of panic might have been vivid, they weren't necessarily a good thing. 

Perhaps I'd do well to make it my goal to get to a point where I could remain calm in front of her. 

How would it feel were Shimamura ever to find out how much time I spent thinking about her? 

Pretty embarrassing, probably. 

"Krisma! Krisma!" 

The small, glowing creature continued jumping up and down in place, accompanied by a very characteristic cry. 

It might have been because I'd only just woken up, but she appeared really bright to me, almost bright enough to rival the sun. 

"Good morning!" 

The lion cub greeted me the same way she always did. As for me, I responded by simply shifting sides. What was she trying to say? Crystal? Crystal mall? Whatever the case, I felt far too tired to attempt to figure it out. 

Meanwhile, Yashiro continued bouncing cheerfully by my pillow. 

"Krisma!" 

"Oh... Christmas?" 

The random gush of winter wind brushing against my cheek had focused my brain just enough to allow me to reach that conclusion. Doing so, I found myself feeling just a tiny bit worried: I hadn't accidentally overslept and missed it, had I? I went ahead and quickly checked the clock. Even if not likely, I knew myself well enough to know that this was a real concern. The combination of weekend and winter like what we were experiencing currently often proved to be quite fiendish. 

"Oh, looks like I'm good." 

The clock was displaying just past ten in the morning. In other words, there was still plenty of time left until I was supposed to meet with Adachi. 

"I better be more careful from now on." 

"Yes, yes", Yashiro nodded. I couldn't help but feel like she had no idea why we were looking at the clock. 

"Anyway... You're excited for today too?" 

"Indeed. I've come to learn about the existence of Christmas." 

I didn't know about it last year, but I do now, she added, sounding quite proud of herself for whatever reason. I just had to pinch her cheeks for that. 

"Just to make sure, can you explain Christmas to me in your own words?" 

"It's a day upon which you eat cake." 

"Hmm... Well, I guess that's close enough." 

Yay, I could hear Yashiro celebrate, her cheeks still pinched between my fingers. Simply looking at her made me feel exhausted. 

"Also, Shou told me that a man called Santa comes by and gives you presents." 

"Right..." 

It seemed that my sister was going to go yet another year believing in Santa. There was something kind of adorable about that. 

That said, thinking about it rationally, if strange creatures like the one I was looking at right now could exist, then was it really all that big of a stretch to think that Santa Claus and his flying reindeer could too? I gave her cheeks one last pinch before letting her go. And yet, even after I did, her face still remained just as deformed as it'd been. Was this just how she was going to be from now on? I couldn't help but find myself freaking out a little. 

"I've been really good this year, so I'm sure I'll get a lot of presents." 

"If you say so." 

"Now then, hand them over, please." 

Huh? What on earth was she talking about? That was my initial reaction as the girl held out her tiny hands towards me. Coincidentally, this was also where her face returned back to normal. 

Let's just say that I was glad, and not think about it any further. 

"Err, I'm not Santa though." 

"Correct. Your name is Shimamura." 

Although the first and the last letter matched, none of the ones in-between were the same. 

"Shou told me that Santa comes at night while you're sleeping." 

"That's true." 

"However, even if you wake up and see that you have received presents, you must brush your teeth first before opening them." 

She made sure to whisper as if what she was telling me was some sort of a big secret. It seemed that for her, presents being something edible was a given. 

"Therefore, I came to the conclusion that I'd rather receive them right now." 

"Like I told you just a second ago, I'm not Santa." 

"Correct. Your name is—" 

"Enough." 

"I don't mind who the presents come from", the girl grinned. 

"Hmm... Well, I guess it's fine." 

The Santa of our house likely wasn't going to be bringing her presents anyway. 

"Just to make sure, do you have any preferences when it comes to presents?" 

"I wouldn't mind a cake, but what I really love are doughnuts." 

"Got it." 

I might as well buy her something while I was out. That was, assuming I didn't forget. 

"Christmas sure is nice." 

She'd yet to receive any presents, but already, there was a big old smile on her face. 

"Hmm... I think I agree." 

It was only thanks to the previous one I'd spent with Adachi that I could say that. Without it, my answer would in all likelihood have been different. That said, given how special Christmas seemed to be for a lot of people—Adachi and Yashiro just to name a few—perhaps it would make sense for me to jump on it too? Get all enthusiastic and head out somewhere. The only question was, where? 

"I've gotta tell Shou about this! She'll be so jealous!" 

That was the last I heard of Yashiro as she sprinted out into the hallway. 

"Hmph. You do that." 

Those two sure got along, didn't they? I couldn't help but wonder what my sister had asked for from Santa this year. Last year, it'd been something for her aquarium, I think. Maybe she wanted something for Yashiro this time? Just kidding, of course. 

On the topic of fish, it was only now that I realised just how much Yashiro resembled a sea angel. 

"Christmas, huh?" 

I went ahead and lifted my arms into the air to pump myself up. It was one's duty to be in high spirits during Christmas, I felt. 

We had slightly fancier food than normal, Santa didn't show up, and then it got too cold for me to even consider stepping outside of my room. 

That was pretty much how it went every single year. Maybe I'd been excited the first few times, but these days, it was impossible for me to act as enthusiastic about it as our little lodger. 

"Every year..." 

I used my fingers to comb my hair away so that it wasn't hanging over my eyes. When Christmas next came around, would Adachi and I once again be spending it together? 

Third year students like us normally spent winter studying for entrance exams, so there was that. Not that I even knew if Adachi wanted to continue studying. 

I kinda got the feeling that if I said I was going to university, then she'd do the same. And if I said I wasn't, then again, she wouldn't either. She really did like matching her steps with me. In some sense, I suppose you could call that diligence. 

"As for me..." 

There had been a time in my life when I'd hated people like that. I'd hated them so much that I couldn't stand it. 

The act of thinking back to the old version of myself—constantly sour, displeased at everything—left me feeling in two minds every single time. On one hand, those days felt very nostalgic to me, but on the other, I wanted to erase all memory of them from my mind. There was only one thing I knew for sure, and that was that I'd been much more lively back then. 

Trying to decide whether to yawn or not, I spent the next few moments staring into space. 

Doing so, both the images of Adachi and Tarumi appeared in my mind. 

We really didn't have many places to visit. There was the mall, the station, and besides those, not much else. Even the park was ruled out due to it currently being far too cold outside. I found myself taking a quick glance at the boomerang still sitting on my shelf. Even now, a full year later, I still couldn't fathom why Shimamura had gotten me a boomerang for Christmas. I had to imagine that, if there ever were to come such a day, a day on which I began understanding what went on inside her mind, then that would mark a whole new world being opened to me. Shimamura really was that deep. 

With thoughts like those flooding my mind, I finished changing clothes, checked my hair, and took a step away from the mirror. That exact loop was something that I'd done at least three times by that point—if not more. Though that might have sounded like a lot, there'd been times in my past when I'd gone well past ten repeats, and as such, I felt like I was definitely making progress. 

No matter how much I attempted to prepare beforehand, I'd always find myself having doubts concerning my choice of outfit when the day actually came. 

This was only made worse by my habit of panicking even when there was still plenty of time left, which would then lead to me running away. 

That was exactly what ended up happening this time as well. Finding myself in the living room, I just so happened to come across my mother who'd gotten there through the front door mere moments earlier. On her shoulder, she was carrying a large bag, the same one I often saw her taking with her when she left the house. Our eyes then met. There was something very peculiar about the woman's stare, and for a moment, I found myself unable to muster up a response. 

"You're heading out?" 

"...Yeah." 

My reply was met by a disinterested sigh. It seemed that we both found this situation equally uncomfortable. 

And yet, what the woman said next couldn't have come as more of a shock to me. 

"Be nice to that girl, okay?" she stated, turning around and exiting the living room into her own bedroom. However, not a moment later, the door opened for a second time just for her to peek her head out and to say the following: "What's up with those clothes?" 

"Err, it's just..." 

I'd barely managed to get a word out by the time she'd already disappeared, this time for good. How fidgety she was being today, seriously. 

I didn't even get a chance to ask her what girl she was talking about. For me, the only one who came to mind was Shimamura, but could that really have been it? 

Not once had I brought her over to our place. I mean, sure, there was that one time she'd seen me off all the way to our front door, but it wasn't like she'd happened to come across my mother while doing so. Where else could the two have possibly met? Nothing really came to mind. Perhaps she'd gotten her mixed up with someone else? That could've been it, although the problem then became, with whom? I didn't really have anyone other than Shimamura. 

"Hmm... Well, I guess it doesn't matter." 

Imitating a certain someone, I decided to give up for now. Having done that, I then exited the house and got on my bike. 

The sky above me as I began pedalling was clear without a single cloud. 

"What do you want to have for lunch?" 

"Actually, I'm just about to head out." 

"Really? That's great to hear. Next time, try to sleep past breakfast time too, okay?" 

Laughing to herself, Mom proceeded to give my head a repeated series of smacks. 

"Come on, stop that. I told you I was heading out." 

The hairdo I'd gone out of my way to make pretty was quickly growing dishevelled. For a brief moment, I considered going back and fixing it, but figuring that was too much work, I ultimately decided against it. What was the point when the wind outside would ruin it anyway? That said, I did brush Mom's hand off. 

Leaning against the hallway wall, the woman's eyes turned to look away. 

"Going out on Christmas, huh? With a man?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Well, you know Hougetsu, you're at that age already. Mom's gotta start asking." 

There was something about her tone that made it sound like she was talking to a baby. Sure, she was also sticking her nose where it didn't belong, of course, but that bothered me way less for some reason. 

"The answer's no." 

"Is it a woman then?" 

"That's the implication?" 

Not saying that she was wrong. 

"I'm just hanging out with Adachi. That's all." 

"Adachi? Hmph." 

What was that "hmph" for? I was of the opinion that the person in question not being present was no excuse for such rude remarks. 

"You two sure do get along, don't you?" 

"I suppose", I answered vaguely, all the while fiddling with a strand of hair that had gotten itself looped around my ear. Would there eventually come a day that I could be honest about my relationship with her to my parents? They both had a very lenient side to them, and I kinda got a feeling like they might be surprisingly willing to accept it—kinda like I'd myself accepted Adachi and begun sharing my time with her. 

"Do you have fun with her?" Mom asked me, no longer leaning against the wall and with her arms now crossed. 

"Fun? Hmm. I'd say it's more like..." 

I quickly began looking for an alternative expression to use. Doing so, my mind wound up returning to the conversation I'd had with Pancho during the school trip. By no means did I think about our time spent together negatively. That being the case, the question then became, what did I think about it? For some reason, I found myself unable to answer that question. 

"Adachi always looks like she's enjoying herself, so I guess that's good enough?" 

Failing to find an answer, I ended up turning the question around. As far as replies went, how would this one rank? D, perhaps? I would've liked to think it was at least better than a straight F. 

"Adachi looks like she's having fun, you say? Yes, yes." 

Though there was something about her words that seemed to hint at a deeper meaning, I decided to pass it off by deciding that she was probably just acting that way on purpose. 

Sure enough, it didn't take the woman long to switch subjects. 

"Her family doesn't celebrate Christmas?" 

Why did she pronounce it like that? A few seconds later, I suddenly realised who it was that Yashiro had been imitating. 

"Not sure. If I had to guess, I'd probably say no." 

It seemed very unlikely considering both the personality of Adachi's mother and relationship between the two. That reminded me, not once had I heard anything about her dad. Well, probably not, at least; as much as I would've liked to say that there was no way I would forget something like that, I sadly lacked the confidence necessary in my own memory to do so. 

I suppose it was possible that he simply wasn't home all that often, and as such, didn't leave much of a presence. 

As it turned out, there was still a surprising number of things I didn't know about Adachi. 

"Well, in that case, if she doesn't have any other plans, why don't you bring her here after you're done?" 

"Who? Adachi?" 

"Yeah. Dinner gets more fun the more people there are around." 

Those were Mom's words to me. Assuming that all those people got along, then sure, I would tend to agree. 

The problem was, the way she said it, that part clearly wasn't something she cared much about. 

Though I couldn't personally imitate it, I suppose there might have been people out there for whom such positivity was very helpful. 

"I'll ask her." 

A grin formed on the woman's face as I said that. 

"I think I might do the same then." 

"Hmm? You're bringing someone over too? Who?" 

"Tee-hee. Sorry, but that's a secret." 

"You know you don't sound cute when you do that, right?" 

This comment was clearly unwelcome, earning me a light kick on the shin. 

"I do have relationships too, thank you very much. But yeah, anyway, look forward to it." 

"Can we talk about the fact that you kick me when you can no longer continue the conversation normally?" 

"You've gotten better at dodging, I'll say that." 

"Well, thanks." 

"Only when it comes to your feet, though." 

"Shut up." 

It was there that I heard light footsteps to my side. I turned my head, only to witness Yashiro running full-speed into the kitchen with her hands held out in front of her. Mom noticed her too and quickly went after her, followed by Yashiro being hurled into the hallway and rolling off. All that in the span of no more than a few seconds. Truly, what a strange house we lived in. 

This noisiness would have driven me absolutely insane back in middle school, but now, I just found it relaxing. 

If I had to describe the sensation, I'd say it was like bringing my hand near a heater that had just been turned on. 

"Oh, my. This is quite the nostalgic turn of events." 

Those were the very first words Shimamura spoke to me as she showed up to the spot where we'd agreed to meet. 

I chose to take them as a positive sign. Why? Because it showed that she still remembered. 

It was clear looking at Shimamura that very little of what happened stuck with her, and yet, when it came to me, she'd made an exception. 

That being said, happiness was by no means the only sensation I experienced in that moment. There was also embarrassment. Lots of it. 

We'd chosen to meet under the giant Christmas tree located in the centre of the plaza immediately beyond the mall's entrance. The amount of people around us rivalled that of a big city train station, which in turn caused the air to feel so warm it was like someone had turned the heater up by whole two notches. There were parents with their children, men and women, and also more than a handful of female couples mixed in. 

"Is this what you always wear on your free time, Adachi?" 

"Err, no. Frankly, I'm not sure why I went with it myself..." 

After trying so hard to pick something else and failing, I'd once again found myself wearing a China dress. The only difference was that this time, I'd not borrowed the dress I wore at work, but instead, had gone out and bought one. In other words, it was my own. I'd bought myself a China dress. So much thought had gone into that decision. 

Or had it? Had I really been thinking at all? 

"Not that I'm complaining. I think it looks great on you. Plus, since I don't get a lot of opportunities to see it, it gives this kinda special feeling whenever I do." 

Shimamura proceeded to stare at me intensely as she spoke. It was as if she was trying to observe the dress from every angle. Ashamed, I attempted to use my coat to conceal it, only for her to grab my wrist, stopping me. Doing so placed Shimamura in a position where it almost looked like she was trying to get a peek underneath my coat. Needless to say, I found it all incredibly embarrassing. I could feel my eyes spinning like they always did. 

"How lucky. Just the other day, I was wondering when I'd get to see you wearing a China dress again." 

"Huh?" 

"Hmm." 

Without as much as a warning, Shimamura used her finger to trace the slit on my dress. This caused me to jump into the air. Still holding my wrist, Shimamura ended up being dragged in too, and for the next few moments, it kinda looked like we were dancing. Dancing badly. I lifted my head to look at her, only to see that she was smiling. 

After I'd stopped jumping, Shimamura quickly apologized. 

"Sorry, sorry. Did I startle you?" 

"Err, no. No, you didn't..." 

What was this redness surging out from deep within my chest? I could almost hear my heartbeat ringing in my ears. 

It wasn't getting any better, and I felt like soon enough, my head was going to start hurting. 

I really should make being able to remain calm in front of her my goal for the next year. Like, seriously. 

As for this year, it was sadly far too late already. 

"Still, Adachi. I do think you're much more interesting this way." 

"I-Interesting? This way?" 

What she'd said made absolutely no sense to me. Choosing not to explain herself any further, Shimamura instead continued smiling. 

It was likely the case that she wasn't quite sure what she'd meant herself. 

Still, if the gist of it was that she found me interesting... 

...Then was it alright for me to be happy about that? 

I didn't know, and there was no time to think. I too was left to prioritize the present. 

"Err... Do you mind if we hold hands?" I suggested, all the while offering her the same hand she'd been gripping till just moments earlier. 

At last, I'd learned to do it like this instead of losing control and taking her hand by force. I wasn't panicking anymore. I was calm. Calm. Shimamura had come here just to see me. She was my girlfriend. There was absolutely no reason for me to panic. 

I'd had to repeat that to myself so many times to be able to get to this point. 

"Sure. That's fine with me." 

Like usual, Shimamura took my hand with seemingly no hesitation. Her fingertips felt a bit cold to the touch, cold enough to let me assume she'd not been holding hands with anyone coming here. A sigh of relief left my mouth. 

With our fingers interlocked, the two of us then began walking. The direction Shimamura had chosen for us was lined up with the glowing signs of restaurants. 

Now, let me start off by saying, I really did enjoy us being able to hold hands like it was no big deal. I genuinely did. Of course. That being said, I would've been lying if I failed to mention that there was a part of me that wondered if the way we were doing it was perhaps a little too casual. Like, had our relationship perhaps started to... what was the expression I was looking for... cool off? Shimamura specifically was scanning our surroundings for a place to eat in a way that made it seem as if she didn't care at all. 

Our hands continued bouncing up and down between us. 

"Say, Shimamura. Have you ever felt... embarrassed before?" 

"Hmm? Of course. I doubt there's anyone out there who hasn't." 

Actually, wait. I think there might be, she quickly added. Was she thinking of someone in specific? 

"Oh, that reminds me. Do you mind if we go buy doughnuts first? I feel like if I save that for last, I'll end up forgetting about it." 

"Doughnuts?" 

"Yeah. A certain strange creature asked me to buy her some. Said they are all she wants for Christmas." 

Hahaha, she laughed wryly. I kinda felt like I now knew who she'd been thinking about. 

"Hmm?" 

Those thoughts of resentment had seemingly manifested themselves as pressure being put into my fingertips, as all of a sudden, Shimamura turned her head into the direction of our hands. Compared to hers, mine was just a little on the pale side. My fingers were also a tad bit longer than hers. A part of why I was gripping her so tight was to bridge this gap. 

Saying nothing, Shimamura lifted her gaze and went back to scanning our surroundings. It was almost as if to her, things such as the fancy Christmas lights and the red car being displayed in the middle of the walkway were just ordinary parts of the world. 

As for me, I too continued staring at her like usual. 

Shimamura really was everything I thought about, wasn't she? 

There'd been a time in my past when coming to such a realisation would've been far beyond my abilities. The fact that I now could showed that at last, my head was starting to cool down. 

"Shimamura. How much do you think about me?" 

"Huh?" 

Having been viewing the various billboards, Shimamura quickly turned her attention towards me. She did it so fast it almost looked like her eyeballs were going to roll out from their sockets. 

"How much, as in?" 

"Like... Does my name ever pass your mind?" 

"Sure it does." 

She was taking this all so incredibly casually. Then again, I suppose it was possible that the fact that I saw it that way said more about me than it did about her. 

"B-But, how often?" 

"Oh, I see now. That sort of 'how much'. Hmm..." 

She proceeded to knit her brows and stroke her chin. 

"Sorry, but I haven't really been keeping count." 

That was honestly a pretty fair response, I felt. People didn't normally think about what went on in their heads to such an extent. While I'd been doing it ever since we met and as such could tell easily, I suppose the same wasn't true for Shimamura. A part of me did wish that she would do it too, but at the same time, it wasn't like I could ever make her. 

We'd just arrived at the doughnut shop when Shimamura asked me the following: 

"Do I really come off as that uninterested to you, Adachi?" 

Yes, I was about to answer on instinct before quickly swallowing my words. Still, it did seem like my facial expression alone had been enough to carry across the general idea. 

"That's no good then. I kinda feel bad now. Like, real bad." 

Could she really not notice herself how the disinterested tone of her voice went completely against what she was saying? It was almost like she was reading straight out of a script or something. That said, perhaps this was all simply a part of Shimamura's... appeal? In the moment that thought crossed my mind, I knew it was over for me. 

"No, no. That's not what I was saying at all..." 

Furiously, I shook my head from side to side. She thought a lot about me, and I knew that. 

"Hmm... Alright. Let's sit down for a bit, shall we?" Shimamura suggested while pointing her finger into the direction of a nearby doughnut shop. Through the window, I could sense the smell of something sweet, combined with that of Chinese food which they also appeared to serve during lunchtime. Though I myself had never heard of such a practice, the reason for that might simply have been the fact that I normally never came here at this time of the day. 

Besides the ones we were going to be eating there at the store, Shimamura bought herself three doughnuts to take with her. One for her sister, and one (or two) for that strange creature, I assumed? Having placed them in her bag, she then let out a gasp as if she'd realised something before turning my way. 

"Wh-What?" 

"I completely forgot to get you a Christmas present." 

What a bummer. I even remembered it last year, she added in a very apologetic tone of voice. 

"Oh, err. I didn't get you anything either..." 

I'd been so preoccupied with choosing what to wear that I'd ended up forgetting too. 

"Really? That's perfect then." 

"I-Is it?" 

"Let's go buy something together once we're done eating." 

"Oh... Yeah. Let's do that." 

And so, a plan was formed. Perhaps this was the best way things could've played out after all. I did often feel like it was very difficult for me to find things for the two of us to do. And yet, despite those feelings, I still wished to share my time with her. Perhaps this itself was what could be called affection? 

Both of us carrying trays, we then began looking for a free table. Though there were normally plenty, today, the store was absolutely crowded. Judging by the high-pitched voices of children, a lot of those customers appeared to be families. We weaved through them, and eventually, managed to find a spot near the windows. 

However, it only took us sitting down to figure out why this table had been left empty; being located in close vicinity to the emergency exit, I could feel something resembling a draft blowing against both my shoulders and my elbows as I sat there. 

Then again, given that my cheeks were practically burning by this point, maybe that was a good thing after all? 

"Listen, Adachi. I love you. Of course I do." 

We'd barely settled down when Shimamura stated that. Though her tone sounded very casual, the actual contents of what she was saying were anything but. She was confessing her love to me. That's what it was. 

"I... I s-see." 

My attempt at remaining as calm as possible resulted in me stumbling over my words not once, but twice. 

"However, if I'm not able to convey that properly, then that means I have some work to do, too." 

"Err... Please go ahead?" 

It didn't sound like a bad thing, hence my answer. To this, Shimamura responded in the form of a light nod before grabbing her doughnut off the table. She didn't actually eat the whole thing, but instead broke off a tiny piece of the chocolate crusting and tossed that alone into her mouth. Appearing satisfied by the sweetness, a soft smile then appeared on her face. 

My mouth was left hanging wide open too as I stared at her. 

"To me, it's to a point where I don't think I'd be able to live without you. That's how much I... ... you." 

I ended up running out of steam halfway through, and by the end of it, my voice had been reduced to a point where you could barely make out what I was saying. 

"I hate to interrupt when you're being all passionate, but could you please repeat that last part? I don't think I quite caught you." 

Shimamura on the other hand showed me no mercy. I was driven into a corner by her large eyes and her bright smile. 

"You meanie." 

"No, no. It's not that. I genuinely want to hear everything you have to say. All of it." 

There are times when it can be hard to ask again later, she added, her eyes turned the other way for some reason. 

"So, please. Go ahead. I'm listening now." 

As if to emphasize her point, Shimamura pushed her hair aside and exposed her ears. Then, without her so much as touching them, they began moving all on their own. I was left feeling shocked to say the least. This reaction appeared to have shown on my face, and sounding a little confused, Shimamura asked me the following: 

"Hmm? Is something wrong?" 

"It's just... You can move your ears. I've never seen anyone who can do that before." 

"Seriously?" 

Shimamura moved her ears again, showing that it wasn't really something she thought about. 

"My sister can do it too. Is it really that rare?" 

"Probably." 

"You can't, Adachi?" 

Though I figured it was in all likelihood pointless, I still did as I was told, pulling back my hair and showing my ears to her. Now, how was I meant to flex them in order to do this? I tried tensing up the back of my head, but there was no indication of this doing anything to my ears. The only thing I did manage to accomplish was turning my face red. Observing me, Shimamura went ahead and took a bite out of her doughnut. 

"Well, I guess it's only fair that I occasionally beat you at something." 

The smile which appeared on Shimamura's face made it clear that she felt very much satisfied. 

When was it that I'd beaten her? When we were playing table tennis? 

I did have a distinct memory of me winning most of those games. Other than that... Nothing really came to mind. If anything, I felt like I was always the one losing. Spending the majority of my days obsessing over Shimamura had to be a sign of defeat, surely. 

"We ended up getting pretty far off-topic there." 

"Yeah." 

"So then, what were you saying? Why is it that you can't live without me?" 

With the half-eaten doughnut in hand, Shimamura returned the conversation back to its original track. There was no getting away. 

Not that I'd had such thoughts to begin with. Never. I'd never run away from her. 

I breathed in a mouthful of the sweet, bright air around us. There, as if clenching my front teeth together, I forced the following words out: 

"It's because... I love you so much." 

"Oh, I guess I heard you right the first time then. Sorry, sorry." 

"I knew you were just being mean..." 

"Hehehe." 

There was something very childish about the way Shimamura laughed. Her goal had clearly been to gloss over the matter, and to no one's surprise, this method of hers ended up working wonders on me. It was so unfair. So horribly unfair. Why? She normally never opened herself to others, and I had to wonder, was the fact that I felt like I was peering into her heart the reason why I found myself so attracted to her? 

"I've gotta say, I kinda feel like I'm starting to get used to this." 

Shimamura had a look around her before letting out another giggle. 

"So, you love me, huh? Yes, yes." 

"Wh-Why are you nodding your head like that?" 

"Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I don't doubt your love. Nothing of the sort." 

I could feel blood rushing in my ears as she said that. 

"It's just... How to put it. It's like you were letting out something pretty, something red, something round." 

"Red..." 

Was I really going to end up bleeding every single time? 

I suppose it was possible. 

My soul certainly felt that way. 

And yet. 

"Still, Shimamura. You say you'd be able to live without me just fine. That's kinda... depressing." 

"Depressing? Really?" 

That was the only word I could come up with that described the emotions I was feeling. It was kinda like digging a hole and then sinking down into it. As to why this was the case, the answer probably lay in the fact that for me, Shimamura was what made up the entirety of my world. 

In case of any sort of isolation from her, all I could do was feel depressed—to sink. 

Good thing I wasn't living in flatland. 

"Hmph." 

That was Shimamura's initial response. It very much sounded like she just wanted to get something out there. As if to support this theory, a few seconds later, she added the following: 

"That might be." 

This she hadn't said simply for the sake of it. No, it was clear that these were her true thoughts. 

"I used to have a lot of friends in the past who I barely meet anymore. And yet, my life still continues. If it ever did come to it, I get a feeling like the same thing would happen with our relationship too." 

She followed this by lifting her right hand—her hand that I wasn't currently holding—slowly into the air. 

Her fingers grasped at nothing, and then released... 

...only for her to take my hand once more, and much more strongly this time. 

"That is why I need to do my best not to lose you. To suppress the part of myself that... Yes. Finds everything bothersome." 

"Bothersome..." 

"Exactly. Questions like, what do I think about you? How do I want us to be? I can't just ignore them and pretend like they don't matter. Once it becomes a habit, you don't really tend to notice when things start fading away." 

That is a very sad thing, Shimamura added. 

Though she laughed, she too looked a little sad behind her expression. 

Was she recalling a similar experience that had occurred in her past? I could only imagine so. 

Staring at her, a thought passed through my mind. 

I never wanted to get to a point where she'd think back to me in such a way. I would not walk down that path. 

That was why, in this moment— 

Those emotions ended up pushing me forward. It'd always been like that, and I got the feeling it'd always be. 

There were simply powers of that sort in play between Shimamura and I. 

I took her hand—the one she'd not taken. I grasped her tight. 

Shimamura's initial reaction was to stare at me with her eyes wide open. A second later, a sigh left her mouth, followed by a soft smile. 

The way in which she smiled was the same as always. She looked so much more mature than me, giving me the illusion that the height gap between us had been reversed. 

"So, we're a ring now, huh? It's kinda inconvenient, don't you think?" 

We can't do anything like this, she added while shaking our arms up and down. While the simple act of staring at her directly might have been more than enough for me, it was certainly true that there was little else we could do. 

I couldn't help but feel like I'd once again made a mistake of some sort. 

That said, had I done nothing, I would never have gotten to know that Shimamura's hands felt slightly cold to the touch. 

"I figured it was best for the time being..." 

The things we could do now, we'd do them now, and as for the things we couldn't, those we'd do later. That alone was more than enough. 

The fact alone that there existed a tomorrow caused me to feel thankful. 

A tomorrow with Shimamura. 

"Hmm... Thinking about you, Adachi, I really get the feeling that you live fully in the present." 

"Huh? You do?" 

The way she said that almost made it sound kinda cool. Was the way I lived my life really worthy of such a description? 

Then again, it was true that when it came to memories, I certainly lacked those. 

At least for now, present was the only span of time where Shimamura existed for me. 

She'd been there last year, yes. That was exactly why it didn't count as the past. 

I couldn't help but wonder, would there one day come a time when I'd get to spend my past with her? 

"Things are always very cleanly cut with you. I can't say that I—" 

Shimamura had been in the middle of saying something. However, instead of finishing her sentence, she simply closed her eyes. 

"I was going to say that I don't dislike it, but I think there's another word that fits better. Yes, yes." 

Mumbling something to herself, Shimamura went ahead and looked right at me, as if she was staring directly into my eyes. She then opened her mouth. 

"I love you, Adachi." 

Those were the words that came out. 

This was followed by her blushing slightly and looking away. 

While her words were certainly pleasant, it was that reaction of hers that truly captured my heart and caused me to lose all sense. 

"Ah." 

Mere seconds later, she'd already returned, this time with her eyes wide open. 

"You have Adachi Sakura written all over your face." 

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" 

This nonsense comment was followed by Shimamura stretching her arm towards my direction. 

Her fingers were already so warm that when she touched me, it felt like my skin was melting down. 

"Your ears, too." 

She pinched my ears, then my cheeks. 

"They're all coloured like sakura flowers." 

Shimamura laughed. 

She really seemed to be enjoying herself. 

As for me, I probably looked like I'd been hit by a violent sakura tempest. 

Bonus: "Shimamura and Adachi and Christmas" 

"What would you say about going on a date?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Well, in that case, how about we make it a party?" 

"Is the problem with your head, or your Japanese?" 

"Excuse me?" 

I stopped to think about it for a second. 

"If I was forced to say, then I'd probably say Japanese." 

"Really now?" 

"Then again, both date and party are English words." 

"Smart-ass." 

The woman responded the exact same way my daughter would. I couldn't help but laugh a little. 

I proceeded to scratch my leg as the waves of hot air coming from the heating device blew against it. 

"By the way, I still don't know why you called me." 

"Ah, yes. There's this tradition in our family. Every year on Christmas, we get together to eat a fancier-than-normal meal." 

"Sounds very lovely." 

"I called you to ask if you'd like to come by." 

"Huh?" 

"Naturally, I'm the one who makes the food." 

Pretty incredible, huh? I added as a brag. Neither my husband nor my daughters really did any cooking, leaving it as my domain for easy compliments. 

That reminded me, I'd forgotten to bring up the topic of Adachi's mom with Hougetsu. Maybe I should do that today at some point? Meanwhile, still waiting for me to stop bragging, the tone of the woman's voice was starting to grow distinctively deeper. 

"You really are..." 

"Yes?" 

"...an idiot." 

"Really?" 

"What on earth makes you think I'd just walk in on another family's Christmas party?" 

"It's normal in America. Totally normal." 

Not that I had any clue what went on there. That said, thinking about all the Bobs and Johns, the image that came to my mind was definitely of them partying on. 

"Besides, you wouldn't be by yourself." 

"I don't need you." 

Just like that, I'd been found out. 

"I didn't mean me." 

"Well, that's good, but I can't think of anyone else then." 

"There is your daughter. Adachi." 

The words had barely left my mouth when I realised that wasn't actually the girl's given name. Regardless, it seemed to convey the message just fine, as immediately afterwards, the woman's voice fell silent. Completely silent. Was she still breathing okay? 

As I waited for her to reply, I went ahead and stretched my limbs as far as they would go. Doing so, a strange, uneven moan left my mouth. If I had to guess, it was probably loud enough for her to hear it too. 

"What do you mean?" 

"My girl just left the house to go out with yours." 

"Oh, yes... I'm aware." 

"After that, she'll come here to eat Christmas dinner with us. I think." 

"You think?" 

"Well, we didn't make any actual plans, but I am pretty sure she will come." 

If there was one thing my daughter could do well, it was making those sorts of invitations. When had she learned that skill? Pretty recently, I felt. 

For someone who spent most of her days spacing out, people sure seemed willing to take a liking to her. 

...Let's say that she inherited that last part from me. And the spacing out from her father. Yes, yes. 

"If the girl's going to be there, then I'm definitely not interested." 

"Why?" 

"Is that sarcasm? Or can you really not guess?" 

"Umm... No? Are you on bad terms or something? If so, then why not use this as an opportunity to get closer?" 

Right there, a glowing ball of light ran past me on her way to the kitchen. I quickly grabbed her by the collar. 

"Whoa!" 

"Good grief..." 

I could hear a deep sigh coming from her end of the call. 

"Even if Adachi does come here, it'll still be kinda like an away game for her. That's why, being her mother, you should come too." 

"Me offering Sakura support? That's not how it'd go..." 

"Huh? You won't back up your own daughter? Are you an evil person or something?" 

"Now you're just being ridiculous. No, it's not like that. I... Actually, I don't want to talk about this right now." 

"You should try smiling and holding her hand just once, even if you need to force yourself. Smiling is something you ought to get used to." 

"Sorry, but that isn't possible." 

"That's why I said, even if you need to force yourself." 

Once you do it once, it won't be impossible anymore, I added. 

"Don't you think it'd be nice spending Christmas with your daughter? To me, that seems like the right thing to do." 

That said, there was no doubt in my mind that were the two to be left by themselves, the air between them would immediately grow stagnant. 

"Think of me as the one providing the lubricant." 

"......" 

"Wow! So easy! So flexible!" 

"Is it fun talking by yourself?" 

"Quite. Why not give it a shot sometime?" 

It was what always let me act so positive. 

"Besides, as long as you can make memories, does it matter if nothing happens?" 

In the distant future, decades from now, it'd be nice to have something to think back to. 

I felt that to be one of the most important things in life. 

"...So, at the end of the day, you're only doing this for purely selfish reasons?" 

"Hmm, I wonder." 

It was true that I hadn't invited her just to be considerate. The more fun people there were around, the more fun it got. 

That was the logic I'd used to fuel my actions. 

"Your husband can come too if he wants." 

Only after the words had left my mouth did I realise that we didn't actually have enough room in the dinner table for that. 

Especially not with this thing around, I thought to myself as I shook the creature I was holding from left to right. She seemed to be having a lot of fun just hanging there. 

"I don't have a husband." 

"Oh, you don't? My bad then." 

"It's fine... Anyway, am I really coming there?" 

"I'm not the one you should be asking that." 

"I can't be bothered to say no, so you decide. Seriously... Just thinking about this is wearing me out." 

"Come!" I stated loudly. Though the glowing creature likely didn't know what I was doing, she still went ahead and did the same. 

"Haa... So I should come then?" 

"Sure, why not? Act more positive. It'll be a lot of fun. For me." 

"I get the feeling you could make anything fun for yourself." 

"Incorrect. I'll have you know, I actually get lonely quite easily." 

"Oh, really?" 

"Yep. That's why you should drop by. We start eating at around seven." 

"Sure..." 

And done. That was everything I'd wanted to say to her. About to end the call, I heard the woman let out an extremely deep sigh. 

"Hmm? What is it?" 

"I'm starting to regret ever giving you my phone number." 

"Hahaha", I laughed before ending the call, this time for good. That sure was fun. 

The woman was cold like her daughter, but in a very different way. How interesting. 

"Ah, Shimamura is almost back", the little creature stated suddenly, still in my grip and with her eyes pointed at the front door. 

"Really? You can tell? How?" 

"By the smell of doughnuts." 

"Hmm... Not sure I get what you mean." 

I really didn't. That said, it was true that there were things in this world only visible to others. 

Take me and Adachi's mother for example. Our minds were totally different, and so were the things we could see. 

You needed other people to get the full picture. 

Anyway. Still holding the girl, I got up and began making my way towards the entrance hall. 

"Oh." 

There it was, the usual knock signalling that she was home. 

Would a certain someone be standing next to her? Almost certainly. 

"Mommy, are you Santa?" 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Because you gave Adachi her mama as a present", the small ball of light responded, all the while shaking her body from side to side. 

"Hmm... You might have a point." 

Now that she mentioned it, there was something kinda wonderful about it, wasn't there? 

"For someone who only hangs around to eat all our food, you do say some pretty smart things from time to time." 

"I am a very good person, yes." 

Deciding to keep this present a surprise for the time being, I went ahead and welcomed the two in. 

"Welcome home, my daughters." 

It was too much work to do it any other way, and so, I ended up just making both of them my daughters.