Long, long ago, there was a princess known as Princess Kaguya. While her personality may have been questionable, she was an undeniable beauty. She possessed a stunning figure, pale blue hair, and dazzling sapphire eyes. But most importantly, she had something no other person did. Namely, a pair of fluffy blue bunny ears growing out of her head. In the ancient capital Kyoto, anyone discovered with such strange growths would normally have been considered a target for execution... but as this was a parallel world, such considerations were of no concern. At any rate, the beautiful Princess Kaguya, who was loved by everyone, was currently... “Haaah. Marriage sounds like such a pain. I’d much rather just spend my time eating snacks forever.” Lazing about, stuffing her face full of meat buns, and complaining about marriage. Difficult as it was to believe, the capital’s number one beauty always acted like this. Today was the day princes from all across the realm had come to seek her hand in marriage. But as Princess Kaguya had no interest in getting married, she assigned each of the princes an impossible task. Even as they reeled at the difficulty at the tasks set before them, these princes of noble birth continued to fight for Princess Kaguya’s favor. “I am the one most suited to be Princess Kaguya’s husband!” “No, it is I!” “No, I!” “C-Come on, guys, stop fighting over me. Besides, this is all my fault for being too cute. Man, being popular sure is hard, Ehehe~” Princess Kaguya was rather full of herself. More so right now than she had ever been before. It was a shame a beauty like her had such a worthless personality. In the midst of this clamor, a small pebble rolled across the room. It kept on rolling until it reached Princess Kaguya. Suddenly, a cold voice rang out across the room. It belonged to the only prince that had not joined in the commotion. A young man who had sat in the corner of the room until now. “Oi, worthless rabbit. I’ll give you that precious treasure of mine, so pick me.” Not only did he act haughty, he had the gall to command Princess Kaguya. Furthermore, that pebble of his looked worthless. The room was silent for a moment before the guards drew their swords on him for his insolence. “Hajime-dono, how dare you take such a tone with—” There was a loud bang, and the guard fell silent mid-tirade. Or rather, he was made to fall silent as he backflipped spectacularly four times through the air, at a speed that would have made even an olympic gymnast hurl. The other guards all looked dumbfounded at Hajime, and saw him holding an unfamiliar weapon with a smoking barrel. “Oh shut up. I brought the princess what she asked for, so I win the contest. That’s all there is to it.” Hajime tapped his shoulder with his revolver, then glared threateningly at the rest of the guards. He looked more like a yakuza... or a bandit than a prince. “H-Huh? I never asked for a stupid rock like that! I mean, look, it’s just a regular old—” Bang! “Hey now, worthless rabbit. Don’t be so stingy. That there is my treasure. If you try and get ahead of yourself, I’ll rip em off.” “Rip what off?” Princess Kaguya trembled in fear as she protectively pressed her rabbit ears to her head. “Come on, this pebble is the treasure you were looking for, right?” Hajime said, waving his revolver around ominously. Princess Kaguya looked around desperately, searching for help, but... “Oh heavens, look at the time. I have somewhere I urgently need to be. Do excuse me.” “Oh my, what a coincidence. I too have pressing matters that require my immediate attention.” The princes all beat a hasty retreat. They sure were zealous about work. Surely the fact there was a gun waving in front of their faces had nothing to do with their decision. In tears now, Princess Kaguya looked over at the kindly old couple that had raised her for salvation. “Oh, when did it become so late? My dear wife, I must be off to gather firewood before it gets dark.”
“Oh my. Well, I too must away to get the laundry in before it’s too late.” Princess Kaguya’s parents sure were diligent. Even on this momentous day, they didn’t forget to do their chores. Even if their daughter complained, they put their work first. Soon enough, the room was cleared of everyone but Princess Kaguya and Hajime. Princess Kaguya was sobbing because of how unpopular she had suddenly become. Then tearfully, but with a hint of excitement, she said the following. “D-Do you really want me that badly?” Hajime’s response was... “Not really? When I was examining this weapon of mine, I discovered it had come from the moon. What I’m interested in is your hometown. I haven’t been able get in yet, but this is perfect. If I become your husband, then I can obtain their weapons without having to force my way in.” Princess Kaguya collapsed into choked sobs when she heard Hajime’s absurd reason. She’d been captured by a demon. But there was still one ray of hope left. Princess Kaguya had in fact been thinking of returning home for a while, and had just recently contacted her hometown. The moon had the most advanced technology in the world, so if her family came, they’d surely be able to deal with this brute of a man. That was why even when he consoled her with words like “Sorry about that. I won’t threaten you anymore, so please stop crying,” her heart wasn’t moved at all. Princess Kaguya wasn’t that easy. A few days later. A messenger from the moon came to get Princess Kaguya. Hajime had expected them to come down from the moon riding floating gold nimbus clouds, but instead they came down in oval-shaped UFOs. Truly a close encounter of the third kind. The citizens stared up in awe, while Hajime’s eyes glittered with a hungry light as he gazed upon the technology of the moon. Because of his occasional bouts of kindness, the worthless rabbit, Princess Kaguya, had started to think “This guy might not be able to handle himself without me.” The classic pitfall trap every shoujo manga heroine falls into. A ramp extended down from the UFO, and down the ramp descended a procession of old rabbitmen... It seemed the myth that the moon was inhabited by beautiful young girls was just that, a myth. But at the very end of the procession of old men was a single young girl. She had beautiful golden-blonde hair and bewitching crimson eyes. Her cheeks had just the faintest blush of rose to them, and her thin pink lips enchanted all who saw her. She looked just like a perfectly sculpted doll. Her impressive outfit made it clear that she was someone of high standing. She was, in fact, a vampire princess that had just hitched a ride with the rabbitmen because she was curious about what Earth was like. Halfway down the ramp, she stopped and stared fixedly at a certain something. The people began to converse amongst themselves. The incarnation of Venus herself had descended to Earth, and not only that she was looking at one of the people standing in the crowd. “Wait, is she looking at me?” “Don’t be stupid, she’s obviously looking at me.” The guys all started arguing with each other. One youth began walking forward. His gait was brisk and confident. The youth was none other than Hajime. Behind him, Princess Kaguya called out to him. “W-Wait, don’t just go off on your own like that. I still need to mentally prepare myself for when I introduce you to my family.” Hajime ignored her and kept going. He stopped right before the blonde-haired, red-eyed beauty. “My name is Hajime, Hajime of the Nagumo clan. May I have the honor of hearing your name?” Behind him, someone mumbled some annoyed words. “Huh, he wasn’t like that when he was talking to me...” However, no one paid her any mind. The vampire princess blushed slightly at his well-mannered request. “Yue.” That was the only word she said as she fidgeted nervously. “Yue? In our language, that means the moon. A truly splendid name. It suits you perfectly.” Yue’s face grew even redder. The onlookers all simultaneously breathed out a passionate sigh. Only Princess Kaguya objected. “Excuse me, what’s with that attitude? Lest you forget, you are MY husband.” Everyone ignored her. Hajime took in a deep breath, then spoke plainly his thoughts. “I’ve fallen for you at first sight. I’ll give you even the world if you ask for it, so please be mine.” “Okay. With pleasure.” “Huh? What did I just hear? Aren’t I supposed to be the heroine of this story?” Yue accepted his somewhat ominous-sounding confession without any questions and leaped into Hajime’s arms. And so, the boy from Earth, Hajime, and the vampire princess, Yue, were wed. They then went on to conquer the world, after which they lived happily ever after. For some reason, they were also accompanied by a worthless rabbit wherever they went.
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