“I’m bored...”A voice muttered from up high in the sky. Its owner was a beautiful blonde girl in a white apron. She floated in the air, far above the lush green fields. It was a mystery as to how she was able to ignore gravity. However, one could allow her astounding beauty to explain that away. After all, anything was possible for beautiful people. The beautiful girl, Alice, heard something down below and looked to see what it was. “Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!” A white rabbit-girl wearing stylish sunglasses roared down the green plains on a motorcycle. She seemed to be in a huge hurry. What an odd sight. I suppose this might make for a good way to kill time, Alice thought to herself. It was interesting to note that she found a bunny girl on a motorcycle odd, but saw nothing strange about the fact that she could float. Alice descended upon the bunny-girl, intent on captur— No, talking to this strange creature. She seemed wholly unconcerned by the fact that the girl was in a great hurry. Alice dropped like a rock, accelerating to the speed of sound. She crashed into the ground in front of the motorcycle with the force of a meteor. “Hiiiiiiiiiiii!? Wh-What on earth was that!? What just happened!?” The white rabbit-girl shrieked in surprise. She screeched to a halt, drifting her bike to improve her deceleration. Then, she strained her eyes, trying to see through the dust cloud Alice’s impact had kicked up. Eventually, a gust of wind blew the dust away, revealing a massive crater with Alice standing in its center. Unhurt. With not even a speck of dirt on her clothes. “Ms. White Rabbit, where are you going?” “Wait, we’re just gonna ignore that crazy entrance of yours!? I just saw something insane and you want to know where I’m going!?” The white rabbit’s reaction was only natural. However, Alice responded with her trademark silent glare. It seemed she wouldn’t say anything else until the rabbit answered her questions. This girl’s bad news! Intimidated by the pressure Alice was giving off, the rabbit finally relented and told Alice her destination. “I see. So you’re headed for a parallel universe, then. Very well. They say the more the merrier. I shall accompany you.” “No that’s really quite—” The rabbit trailed off as she saw Alice’s death glare. “G-Glad to have you.” Her rabbit ears drooped. It seemed she wouldn’t be able to defy Alice. Satisfied, Alice nodded and followed the rabbit to the hole leading between worlds. The two of them leaped into it together, falling a long, long way. Growing tired of the long wait, Alice grabbed the poor rabbit by her collar and accelerated faster down the hole. Finally, they landed with a bang. Alice slapped the poor, unconscious girl awake and examined her surroundings. “What’s this, Ms. White Rabbit?” “Ughhhhhh......” Alice pointed to a cookie sitting on top of a table. There was a note next to it that read “Eat me.” Sadly, the rabbit was too busy trying not to puke to answer her question. Sighing, Alice trained her death glare on the rabbit once more, which made her snap to attention. Her face still pale, she squeezed out a reply. “I-It makes you bigger.” “Interesting.” Alice’s eyes sparkled with mischief. Her gaze fixated on the rabbit’s chest, which jiggled every time she trembled. Alice greedily devoured the cookie. Sadly, all it did was make her body bigger. Annoyed, Alice groped the rabbit’s boobs. If she couldn’t have them, she’d at least enjoy them. However, their superb softness only made Alice even more jealous. Finally, she remembered what they’d come here for, and summoned a torrent of water to destroy the door. With the path now open, she headed out into this new world. Many of the nearby animals rode the torrent that suddenly appeared as well, gathering around Alice and the rabbit. They invited Alice to join their race. Alice showed off a rare smile, and accepted their invitation.
“Victory goes to the swift— Whirling Darkness.” Alice crushed all the other contenders with a whirlpool of gravity. In order to win, she’d eliminated the competition. It was a very efficient method, albeit rather cruel. She’d won the race without having to run a foot. Furthermore, Alice had flattened the entire area. The poor white rabbit shrunk back, trying to pretend this was all just a dream. However this was reality and Alice dragged her on to whatever lay ahead. Along the way, Alice encountered the Jabberwocky, the manifestation of all evil in the world. As the Jabberwocky tried to stop her, she sent him packing with a well-placed crimson javelin to the behind. For some reason, this made the Jabberwocky moan in pleasure. Disturbed, Alice instead flattened the Jabberwocky with gravity magic. Once again, Alice flattened the entire area. Many other fantastical creatures tried to bar Alice’s way, but she crushed each and every one of them with gravity magic. The entire topography of Wonderland was beginning to become uniform. Finally, the pair entered the forest. Alice sensed something above her, and looked up at the trees. “Hello there young lady! I’m the Cheshire Cat. Why are you here? There’s no food here that will make your chest grow bigger.” A strange creature grinned at Alice. There were cat ears growing out of its head. Alice’s eyebrows twitched. The white rabbit groaned, guessing what was about to happen next. However, the fearless cat continued, heedless of the danger it was in. “Hey, how did it feel? Eating something in the hopes that it would make your breasts bigger, only to find out all it did was make your whole body bigger? How does it feel knowing no matter what you eat, your breasts are doomed to remain as flat as a washboard? Come on, tell—” The Cheshire Cat, along with half the forest, was flattened in an instant. No one ever saw the Cheshire Cat again. Alice sullenly walked through the forest. Her irritation vanished in an instant once they reached the exit, though. “Hm? It’s rare to see a guest here. Are you a friend of the White Rabbit’s?” Alice was smitten at once. Her heart began to race, and her body grew hot. “Why hello, Mr. Hatter. Are you holding another tea party today?” “I am indeed. It’s never easy dealing with the queen. I fear I need a cup of tea before going to see her or I’ll likely end up being hauled off for insulting royalty.” The Hatter was smartly dressed in a tailcoat, and had an eyepatch covering one eye. He smiled awkwardly and offered the pair tea. From his words, Alice could tell the queen came to visit him often. Though she claimed she was just checking up on her hat orders, as he was known as the greatest hatter in the kingdom, the white rabbit knew that was just a facade. It was obvious to anyone who’d seen them that the queen was head over heels in love with the Hatter. “So, White Rabbit. Would you like to introduce me to that friend of yours?” “Huh? Oh, uh, she’s not really my friend. She’s more like, how do I put this...” The White Rabbit couldn’t decide how to introduce Alice. She was sure if she told the Hatter what Alice really was—the incarnation of violence—she wouldn’t live to see another day. Fortunately, she was spared when Alice decided to introduce herself. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Hatter. My name is Alice. I know this is a bit sudden, but... I’ve fallen in love with you at first sight. Will you marry me, Mr. Hatter?” Time stopped for the Mad Hatter. Once again, the White Rabbit groaned. Alice trotted up to the Hatter and gave him the most pleading, puppy-dog look she could muster. At the same time, her gaze promised death if he refused. Time resumed for the Mad Hatter. “Gladly.” The White Rabbit’s groaning grew louder. She didn’t think the queen would sit idly by as some interloper came in and stole away her lover. War was coming. And indeed, when the Queen of Hearts finally arrived, she did not take kindly to her Hatter being in the arms of another woman. Her eyes grew red with rage, and she ordered her card soldiers to attack Alice. However, Alice wasn’t going to give up her new prize that easily. The battle that ensued was so fierce it razed all of Wonderland to the ground. Poor White Rabbit even wrote a book about it once it was over. She titled it “Attack on Alice” and it was a bestseller.
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