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Ascendance of a Bookworm (LN) - Volume 1.3 - Chapter 18




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A Quiet Commotion 

“Woooah! Holy cow!” I couldn’t hear their voices from the outside, but the second I went into the temple the shrill cries of the children echoed through the temple and made my head hurt. I reflexively stopped in place, but Lutz pulled me forward. 

“There’s still steps, watch your feet.” I looked at the ground and took a few steps, whereupon the doors closed behind us with heavy creaks. I turned around in surprise at the sudden darkness and saw priests wearing gray robes closing the door. 

“Oh, right. We were the last ones in.” A blue-robed priest walked slowly to the front of the tightly shut doors. He then held up a wind chime-esque bell with a strangely colored stone on it and rang it. Immediately, the children fell silent, with only the echoes of their voices still reverberating through the temple. 

“What, happened?” Lutz couldn’t speak either. Or more precisely, he couldn’t speak above a bare whisper. Judging by his expression and body language, he was trying to speak in a much louder voice. He was surprised by his own quiet voice and held a hand over his throat. 

“Maybe it’s a magic tool? It happened the second the blue-robed priest rung the bell.” Likewise, my voice only came out in a whisper. But I was calm since I had seen the priest ring the bell and could guess what had happened. Lutz calmed down a bit once I explained. Realizing the same thing was happening to me seemed to have done the trick. 

At the back of the procession, I let out a sigh of awe and looked up. The temple’s ceiling was high in the air like an atrium, and rows of round pillars carved with complex designs were lined up next to each other. At about four floors worth of height there were tall windows from which light streamed in. The walls and pillars were white aside from the gold used to decorate them, which made the area look brighter. Only the inner wall was colorful. 

Unlike the Christian churches I had seen in photos and the like, there weren’t any paintings on the walls or stained glass in the windows. Everything was made of pure white stone. It didn’t even feel like a Japanese shrine or temple. As far as I knew, it didn’t resemble the religious architecture of Southeast Asia either. 

The wall furthest inside was covered in colored designs from the floor to the ceiling and had a divine aura to it thanks to the light shining on it, which somewhat resembled mosques, but there was a staircase of about forty steps leading up to it and the statues dotting it didn’t feel Islamic at all. 

...Maybe that staircase is supposed to symbolize a staircase to the heavens and gods? The statues kind of remind me of the emperor and empress dolls used in the Japanese festival Doll’s Day. 

At the top of the stairs were two statues, one male and one female. They seemed liked a couple, and since they were at the top of the stairs, I could guess that they were the king and queen of the gods. They were both pure white statues, but the male god was wearing a black cape made with sparkling gold scattered like stars, and the goddess was wearing a golden crown with long pointed tips that resembled light shining from the sun in all directions. 

...The Goddess of Light and the God of Darkness, I guess? Or maybe the Goddess of Sunlight and the God of Night? Either way, their crown and cape make them really stand out from the other statues. 

A number of steps down was a statue of a peaceful, plump woman with her arms wrapped around a gleaming yellow grail. Beneath her was a woman holding a staff, a man holding a spear, a woman holding a shield, and a man holding a sword all lined up. It was odd. All of the statues were pure white, except the one colored object they were holding. I could imagine there was some deeper meaning resting within what statues were holding what objects. 

...Maybe those are like, the holy grail and the holy sword and so on? 

Further steps below had statues surrounded by flowers, fruits, clothes, and other items that could be offerings. The more I looked, the more I thought back to Doll’s Day. 

“Myne, don’t daydream, we gotta keep walking.” 

“Bwuh? Oh, sorry.” Lutz pulled me forward and I sped up my pace to keep up with the procession. 

The center of the room was empty, allowing the procession to walk forward unhindered. On either side of us were thick red carpets with about a meter of space between them. There were several desks lined up by the inner wall and a number of priests wearing blue robes were standing beside them, performing some kind of ritual. Once the ritual was completed, the child would be guided by a gray-robed priest to either the left or right. I could see them removing their shoes and sitting on the carpet. 

The procession moved slowly forward and eventually Lutz could see what the ritual was. He let out a quiet “geh” after peering forward. 

“What’s wrong, Lutz? Did you see what they’re doing?” I asked, but Lutz’s eyes wavered and it was obvious he didn’t want to say anything. Eventually, he sighed and looked at me. 

“They’re doing the blood seal stuff you hate. Must be a magic tool they’re using. Everyone’s pressing their blood on it.” 

I wanted to pretend that I hadn’t heard anything, and I kind of wanted to about-face and flee, but Lutz held my hand tightly and wouldn’t let me leave. 

“Give it up. Looks like they’re registering us or something. This might have something to do with that city citizenship stuff.” 

“Guuuh... You’re right. I think that’s probably what’s happening too.” Otto and Benno had been saying that following our baptism, we would be recognized as citizens of the city and have our citizenship. That meant that whether I liked it or not, I needed to finish the ceremony if I wanted my citizenship. 

“...Why do magic tools like blood so much?” 

“Who knows.” Whenever it came time to deal with magic stuff, I had to cut my finger and touch it with blood. But pain wasn’t something I would get used to so easily. 

I waited my turn while quivering in fear and eventually saw a curt-looking blue-robed priest take the thing that looked like a needle, poke it into a kid’s finger, and press that finger firmly against a white, flat medal. The kid opened his mouth as if to scream, but nothing came out. He then was guided to sit down elsewhere while he trembled and held his finger down in pain. 

“Okay, next. Come forward.” The crowd thinned out and one of the priests overseeing a now empty desk called out to me. Lutz pushed me from behind and I stumbled my way towards it. 

The blue-robed priest narrowed his eyes somewhat suspiciously and after glancing over me, held out his hand. 

“Raise your palm and hold out your hand. We’ll be drawing blood, but it won’t hurt much at all.” He said it wouldn’t hurt, but nobody who ever said that was telling the truth. He poked me with the needle and a sharp pain similar to touching a burning pan shot through my finger before red blood started puckering out. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I stared at my hurt finger. 

“Please press your finger against this.” This priest didn’t aggressively force my finger against the medal like the meaner one I had seen. He was more gentle and handed the small medal to me. I just had to get a little blood on it, and my finger didn’t hurt as much as I had expected, which was a relief. 

I’m glad he wasn’t mean or rough, but my finger’s still hurting a bit. It struck me that the quiet-inducing magic tool probably existed not to silence small talk, but to muffle the sounds of kids crying out in pain. 

“You two are the last ones. Please follow me.” A young gray-robed priest who had probably just reached adulthood called out to Lutz and I then headed to the carpet. He explained that we needed to take our shoes off before getting on it, so we did. 

A lot of kids were sitting with their legs thrown out, but I was sitting cross-legged. The temple was wide open like a school gym and with so many other kids my age around me, I somehow felt that cross-legged was the right way to sit here. 

Before long, the blue priests left the desks, having finished registering all of us. They put the medals into a box that they carried out of the room. The gray priests proceeded to prepare the next step. They carried out the desks and in their place set down an extravagant podium. 

The blue priests returned and lined up on either side of the podium. The gray priests, having seemingly finished their preparations, lined up by the walls around us. It felt like they were teachers watching us to make sure we kept quiet during assembly. 

“The High Bishop enters,” intoned a blue priest as he waved a rod in the air. The sound of several bells ringing filled the air and a door to the side opened. From it came an older man wearing a large white robe decorated with a golden sash and blue embroidery. I could tell he was the High Bishop. He deliberately walked up to the podium and gently placed what he was holding onto it. 

...Wait, is that a book?! I rubbed my eyes and strained my eyes to make sure. Once I saw him start slowly flipping through pages, I was certain. It was definitely a book. Maybe it was this religion’s bible, or some other holy scripture. 

“Lutz, a book! They have a book!” I put my hand on Lutz’s shoulder as he fidgeted and pointed excitedly at the podium. He leaned forward a bit to get a clearer look. 

“Where? What kind of book is it?” 

“It’s right there, the High Bishop is turning its pages. See?!” It was bound in leather and the sensitive corners were bound in metal clasps for protection. I could also see a gemstone buried in the cover. 

“That’s a book? Looks super expensive. Nothing like the ones you make.” 

“My books are all about practicality, don’t compare them to books that are basically art. It’s like comparing the sword that statue has to your knife.” 

“Huh, alright. Guess you’re surprised to see books here?” 

“...Actually, I guess I’m not. Now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense for books to be here.” I was your standard Japanese person without much interest in religions, so I hadn’t really visited any temples in my day, but I knew that religious institutions tended to have bibles, holy scriptures, sutras, and basically just written records of the religion’s teachings. They had books. I didn’t have to force my weak body to its limits to make books in the middle of crushing poverty. Books already existed. 

Just like the Merchant’s Guild was at the cutting edge of information, the Church was at the cutting edge of theology, math, music, sculpturing — all science and art that brought humanity closer to the divine. The Christian Church had likewise historically been the forefront of academic advancement, and in Japan men of culture and wisdom had gathered at shrines and temples to push knowledge forward. 

“Gaaaaah! I should have come to the temple sooner. Why didn’t I think of this before? I’m so dumb! I could have read books without all that struggling!” It was probably a good thing that my yelling was kept quiet. I shouted on the inside and Lutz shrugged his shoulders, exasperated. 

“I mean, looks like you forgot this, but kids aren’t allowed in the temple before their baptism ceremony. Even if you figured this out sooner, the guards would have just turned you away.” He had a good point. Only kids who had finished their baptism could enter the temple. 

“But you know, I think it’s fate that I’m meeting a book during my baptism ceremony, the first time I’ve been to the temple.” 


“All kids go to the temple once they hit seven years old, fate’s got nothing to do with it.” 

“Geez, Lutz. Stop being a buzzkill.” 

“I get that you’re pumped to see a book, so calm down. I don’t want you passing out in here.” Lutz tried to calm me down before I got too excited. But how could I calm down now? 

“Nuh uh. There’s a book this close to me, no way can I calm down. It’s impossible.” 

“Impossible or not, calm down. Not like they’re gonna let you read that book anyway.” 

“Oh... You’re right.” There was a book, but not one I could read myself. It had a gemstone on its leather cover even, they would never let me touch it. My excitement drained in an instant and my shoulders slumped. 

“As of today,” began the High Bishop, “you have all become seven years of age and officially recognized citizens of the city. Congratulations.” He was an older man, a practical grandpa it looked like, but his voice was strong and echoed throughout the temple. He first congratulated us, then began reading aloud from the bible-esque book. 

As my heart and soul belonged to books, I leaned forward and eagerly listened to every word. He was telling us stories of the creator gods and the changing of the seasons, similar to what Benno had told me once before. He spoke with simple language so it would be easier for kids to understand. 

“The God of Darkness lived a lonely life all by himself for so long it would numb our minds just thinking about it.” Thus began the story. The God of Darkness then met the Goddess of Sunlight. A lot happened and they ended up married with children. The Goddess of Water, the God of Fire, the Goddess of Wind, and the Goddess of Earth were all born and in the process the world we lived in was created. The “a lot happened” part was probably touched up to be more appealing to children and was basically like a soap opera. 

But well, that was how religious myths tended to go. Most mythology I was familiar with was chaotic and all over the place. You could spend all day poking fun at the stories. 

This story was personally fun for me already since I hadn’t heard it before, but I was making it even more fun by comparing it to the mythologies I knew already. On the other hand, Lutz was fidgeting with boredom and looking at me jealously, not getting what I found so fun about it. 

“Why’re you liking this so much, Myne? What’s fun about it?” 

“Everything about it’s fun!” I answered with a full smile and Lutz sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. 

“...Cool. Good for you.” 

“Uh huh! I love hearing new stories.” The creation myth was followed by a myth about the changing of the seasons. Benno had framed the seasons as thus: “In spring, snow melts into water that gives life to sprouting plants. In summer, the sun burns like fire and plants grow leaves. In autumn, the cool wind chills fruit as they grow. In winter, the life and earth of our land sleeps.” However, the actual myth was quite different. 

“The Goddess of Earth is the youngest daughter of the Goddess of Sunlight and the God of Darkness. One day, the God of Life fell in love with the Goddess of Earth at first sight. He asked her father, the God of Darkness, for her hand in marriage. The God of Darkness happily accepted, hoping that they would give birth to many children.” The myth explaining seasons seemed fun to me, but Lutz sighed with boredom as he listened, so it would probably be best to summarize it. 

Put simply, the God of Life was far too possessive and froze the Goddess of Earth within ice and snow to impregnate her, then felt jealous for even their unborn children. Winter occurred as her power was stolen. 

The Goddess of Sunlight began to worry for the Goddess of Earth, whom she had not seen since her marriage, and upon discovering her melted the ice. The Goddess of Water flooded away the melted ice (along with the God of Life, weakened by his own actions) and along with her Goddess friends gave her strength to the children, the seeds. This was the spring where seeds bloomed. 

The God of Fire lending his power along with his friends to help the planted lives grow was the summer, and soon those lives ripened. That returned the God of Life’s strength and he came looking for the Goddess of Earth. The Goddess of Wind, seeking to keep him away from her little sister the Goddess of Earth, combined their powers and in the process brought about the autumn where the crops are harvested. 

Once all his brothers and sisters were weakened, the God of Life gained the upper hand. He froze the Goddess of Earth in ice and snow once again. The other deities wished to just kill the God of Life, but that would prevent any new lives from being born. Winter was his brother and sisters waiting in frustration for their power to return. 

That back-and-forth looped endlessly, making the seasons. By the way, since Lutz and I were born in the summer, our patron deity was the God of Fire and we were characterized by being passionate and hot-blooded. It seemed that he also granted favor when it came to teaching and guiding others. 

The High Bishop brought the tale to a close and shut the book. 

“Now then, I will teach you how to pray. Praying to the gods and expressing your thanks to them is the key to receiving stronger divine protection,” he said with a fairly serious expression as he slowly walked to the front of the podium. Meanwhile, gray priests unrolled a carpet in front of the blue priests. The High Bishop stood in the middle of the ten or so blue priests. 

“Now then, observe closely so you may do what I do... Praise be to the gods!” declared the High Bishop while spreading and raising his arms to the sky, holding his left knee up, and looking upwards. 

“Pfff!” I quickly put a hand over my mouth to hold back a laugh. It wouldn’t be polite to burst into laughter during a religious ceremony. I knew that. But the more I knew it was wrong, the more I wanted to laugh. My stomach wiggled as I held the laughter in. 

...I mean, come on, that’s the G*ico Man pose! He’s just doing the *lico Man pose! Why the Gli*o Man pose?! Why lift up your knee?! You’re an old man, it’s dangerous to stand on one foot like that. The fact he was keeping perfect balance without wavering a bit just made it more funny. Honestly, it was all over for me. I was confident I would laugh no matter what the High Bishop did next. 

And indeed, I nearly died when he slowly lowered his leg like a tai chi fighter. Was he trying to assassinate my sides or something? They were already hurting so bad and he just went and made it worse. 

“Glory be to the gods!” The High Bishop fluidly shifted from doing the Gl*co Man pose to genuflecting on the ground. That was it. Some laughter burst out of my mouth. 

“Pfhahah!” 

“Myne, what’s wrong? You feeling sick or something?” 

“I-I’m fine. I’m still... still fine. I can do this. This is a trial the gods have given me.” I held my mouth down and sunk my head down while answering Lutz. Naturally, I couldn’t actually tell him that the praying pose was so funny that I couldn’t stop laughing. Only those who knew the Glic* Man pose at a glance would find this so funny. No doubt about that. 

...This is religion. This is a real religion. Everyone’s very serious about this, so laughing would be rude. 

I managed to calm down the ripples of laughter hitting my sides by imagining opening a classroom door and seeing my classmates praying to Allah. The way different religions prayed always looked silly from an outsider’s perspective. It was just pure coincidence that this religion happened to pray by doing the Gl*co Man pose. Laughing would be rude. 

I took deep breaths and calmed myself. Once I managed to raise my head, I saw the High Bishop urging us to stand. 

“Now then, children, please stand. We shall pray together.” 

...Together?! Please no, anything but that! Everyone around me stood up together. My mouth was flapping and my sides aching. I could tell I was on the verge of bursting into hard laughter. I couldn’t let that happen. I can’t laugh, I told myself repeatedly, which just made me want to laugh more. 

“Praise be to the gods!” said the High Bishop as he made the Gl*co pose again. 

That was fine. It was less impactful the second time. I successfully held back the waves of laughter and felt my success through my stomach muscles. But in the next instant, the blue priests all lifted their legs up in the same pose. 

“Praise be to the gods!” My sides instantly lost to the sight of ten priests in a row making beautiful Gl*co poses with serious expressions on their faces. The angle of their arms, the height of their knees, their blank expressions... Everything worked together to make my stomach muscles give in. I fell down on the spot. 

“Pfffh! Nnnggh, pfffh!” My stomach hurts...! Someone, else! I held my mouth shut and tried to contain the laughter, but tears formed in my eyes and laughter slipped out. It would feel so relieving to just roll on the floor and burst into laughter while kicking it, but I couldn’t and that made me want to laugh harder. 

“Myne, I knew you weren’t okay!” Lutz worriedly hopped over to me on one foot as he continued making the Gl*co pose. That was it. He finished me off. I gave in and just pounded the floor with my fists in silent laughter. 

“Sorry, ppfffh... I can’t, breathe...” 

“Myne! Why’d you wait until it got this bad?!” 

“No, I’m... f-fine...” I waved my hands at Lutz to tell him I was fine, but a gray priest who must have noticed something was off came running over. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Um, Myne started feeling bad and then collapsed. She’s really sickly, and the ceremony got her all excited, so...” I had definitely gotten excited, but I wasn’t feeling bad. I was just laughing too hard. I didn’t need the priest’s help. 

“I-I’m fine. I’ll get better soon! See?” I hurriedly tried to stand up, but the sudden movement was too much for my laughter-striken body and arms just gave in such that I collapsed right in front of the priest. 

“Whaddaya mean, see?! You’re not better at all!” 

“Ngh, I just slipped a little... I’m really okay.” So I said, but given that I was literally collapsed on the ground, there was zero chance of them believing me. From an objective standpoint it was completely natural that the priest would believe Lutz over me. 

“I will carry her to a medical room. It would likely be best for her to rest until the ceremony is over.” I sensed that the gray priest wouldn’t believe anything I said, so I just limply let him pick me up. 

...I retired from the ceremony early after having my sides sent to orbit. Thiiis will probably be a painful memory that I’ll keep to myself for the rest of my life. 



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