Ascendance of a Bookworm (LN) - Volume 2.4 - Chapter SS6

Effa—Facing the Future 

I awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of Kamil crying. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I picked him up. It was time for him to be breastfed. His hair and eyes were a similar color to Myne’s, so thoughts of her surfaced in my mind as I was giving milk. 

Myne had always been so quick to get fevers or become bedridden that, for her entire life, I had feared that she might die—that each fever could potentially be the one that was too much for her. And then, when she had finally gotten healthy for the first time, she was taken far away from me, where I would never be able to reach her. 

But... she hasn’t actually died, I thought, trying to cheer myself up the same way I always did when I found myself getting sad. Myne was still alive, and even if she couldn’t treat us like family anymore, we still had a thin connection to her. That was enough to make just a little bit of my sorrow go away. 

I wonder if Gunther’s okay. I looked at the large lump beneath the blankets beside me, twisting and turning as if unable to sleep. Before I knew it, I had let out a heavy sigh. 

It was important to continue life as normal once the funeral had ended. Gunther had to go back to work, no matter how devastated he was, which was why he had gone to the gate yesterday. He had begrudgingly left for his day shift at third bell, but fourth bell hadn’t even rang before he came trudging home. 

Apparently, he had punched his boss—the gate commander—in the face, and while the others sympathized with his plight, they had told him to go home and cool it. The commander had allegedly said something to him about Myne. Nobody knew what exactly, but several people heard Gunther scream, “That outsider noble got in ’cause you didn’t tell the guards what I told you! It’s your fault I lost Myne!” before diving at the commander and going to town. That was what Otto, one of his subordinates and the person who had walked him home, had told me. 

Gunther lived for his children, and he cared for Myne more than anyone, especially through her sick health. He regretted beyond words that he hadn’t been able to stop the noble from breaking into the city—that he hadn’t been able to protect Myne, and in the end, had been protected by Myne himself. He was so depressed that it felt as though he was on the verge of throwing his whole life away. 

...I think I should leave him be for a little while longer. 

I patted Kamil’s back lightly to help him burp, then checked his diaper. As I slowly drifted back to sleep, I hoped more than anything that Gunther would recover as soon as possible.

“I think it’s because of Myne’s blessings,” Tuuli said out of nowhere the next morning while preparing for work. She was beaming a smile that said she was excited at her realization, but I had no idea what she was talking about. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Me getting a contract with Mrs. Corinna yesterday. I wasn’t scared of going to the north part of the city at all since I was going there to keep my promise to Myne, and I wasn’t scared of asking Mrs. Corinna to hire me. That’s definitely thanks to Myne’s blessings.” 

Yesterday, Tuuli had gone to the Gilberta Company with Lutz and managed to get an agreement to move to Corinna’s workshop when it was time for her lehange contract to be renewed. It came completely out of the blue for Tuuli, who had previously been anxious about going to that part of the city whenever she had to. 

I wonder if she’d get mad if I said that reminds me of Myne? 

“I still can’t believe it! Mrs. Corinna actually said she would trust me with making Myne’s hairpins. I need to get better quick so nobody takes the work away from me,” Tuuli said with a proud smile, before quietly adding, “It’s all going so well thanks to Myne’s blessings.” 

If you asked me, it had more to do with the Gilberta Company’s plotting than any blessings—they’d surely hired Tuuli so that they’d have another connection to Myne, now that she was the daughter of a noble and all. Still, Tuuli was just glad to have another thread connecting her to her little sister, who in her eyes wasn’t dead yet. It was clear that she thought that if she worked hard, she could keep meeting Myne. She was facing the future and charging forward in a display of hope so pure it was dazzling. 

“You got Myne’s blessings too, right, Mom? You’re moving a lot easier than you were before. But still, you shouldn’t push yourself! You may not have birthing pains anymore, but you’re still going to be exhausted from feeding Kamil at night.” 

I felt as though Tuuli was telling me that I needed to face the future too, especially since Myne’s blessings had cured me of the helpless pain and exhaustion I had felt ever since giving birth. I won’t lose to my own daughter here, I thought to myself, and as I put on my cooking apron, I found myself smiling for the first time since Myne had gone. 

“I’ve been blessed by Myne, Tuuli—you don’t need to worry about me. And listen, there’s second bell. Have a nice day at work.” 

After cheering up a bit and seeing Tuuli off to her apprentice work, I washed some dishes using a jar of water while keeping an eye on Kamil. I glanced around the house and noticed that Tuuli had already washed the clothes for me, but I would still need to draw more water. The market would also be opening later on today, so I would need to go shopping for food as well. We had already finished all of the food donated to us by our neighbors. It was tempting for me to just be satisfied with some leftovers for lunch, but with Gunther around, I needed to make something more sizable. 

...Now, where should I start cleaning up? I thought just as Gunther trudged out of bed. He was up much later than usual, and it wasn’t as though he was working a night shift or anything. He stared at me through kind of narrowed eyes as I moved around the house, working in my apron. 

“How come you and Tuuli can just keep on acting normal? Myne’s gone, y’know.” 

“The funeral is over, and our neighbors have helped us enough. If Tuuli and I spent all of our time crying instead of working, who would give milk to Kamil, or make our food, or wash our clothes?” 

No matter how sad we were or how great the loss was, it was already time for us to get back to work if we wanted to live—Gunther should have known that as well. 

“Not to mention that we’re not like most families. Myne gave us a lot of blessings. She gave us the power to strive toward our goals, to deflect malice, to heal our pain, and to endure trials and tribulations—she gave it to all her loved ones. So, I’m fine.” 

Gunther suddenly raised his head in realization. I smiled at him. 

“Tuuli is striving to keep her promise to Myne and make the most of her blessings, but you’re just lazing around all day, not enduring this trial at all. I wonder if that means she doesn’t love you? Did you actually get blessed?” I asked, already knowing the answer. 

Gunther’s eyes shot open. “Of course she does! We had all those final goodbyes, and the burns on my arm healed! Myne loves me for sure!” Seeing him overreact when it came to Myne and getting so pouty was kind of cute in its simplicity. 

“In that case, why don’t you face the future and get back to living as well? There’s a mountain of things we have to do. If you have the time to skip work, you have the time to help. First comes drawing water.” 

“‘First’...?” 

“And then once that’s done, could you go shopping for me? The market’s up today, but I still can’t go that far with Kamil. Myne would get mad at me for sure.” 

Myne hadn’t been able to keep quiet for a minute without telling us not to take Kamil outside until he was old enough to move his head, due to all of the sicknesses outside. Gunther seemed to remember that as well. He fell silent, searching for words. 

“Ah, look. Now Kamil’s crying. It’s time for him to be breastfed.” I gave the mopey, frowning Gunther a bucket and shooed him out, then picked up the crying Kamil and opened the bedroom window. The room lit up in an instant thanks to the dazzlingly bright sunshine of a summer just beginning. A cool breeze blew inside, and that cheered me up even more, like the wind was blowing away the sad, heavy atmosphere that had built up inside. 

“Here you are, Kamil.” I had kept him waiting a bit too long, and his small mouth moved desperately as he drank as much and as quickly as he could. That was when Gunther came back, carrying a bucket filled to the brim with water. He frowned harder as he poured it into the jug before going back out to the well. 

It took Gunther several trips to the well to finish filling the water jug, after which he picked up the shopping basket and left for the market, all the while mumbling about how Myne definitely did love him. 

I finished feeding Kamil, changed his diaper, and then looked around the brightened room as I put him to bed. In the corner, I noticed that dust was starting to pile up. Our bedroom was always ridiculously clean thanks to Myne’s desperate desire to sleep in a clean room, but now that she was gone, it had gotten dirty after just a few days of nobody cleaning it. 

“I’ll have to clean while Kamil’s asleep. I want to keep things like they were when Myne was here, as much as possible.” 

Once I had finished, I decided to start washing Kamil’s dirty diapers since there were so many. I spread them out to dry on the lines, at which point Gunther came back carrying a lot of stuff. He had bought a bunch of everything so that we wouldn’t have to go shopping again anytime soon. 

“I’m back. I’m gonna put all this stuff in the winter prep room, alright?” he said, his bright tone a complete contrast to how miserable he had been on his way out. 

“Did something happen out there?” 

“On my way there, I bumped into Gil taking the orphans to the forest. I asked about how Myne’s doing. She’s gonna be going to the Noble’s Quarter soon, but she’s doing good and is mainly just worrying about us.” 

Gil was one of Myne’s attendants. He was a kid who often walked her home, and Myne said he was a hard worker who kept the workshop in the orphanage running with Lutz. 

“What did you say to him, Gunther? I’m sure you gave him a message for Myne.” 

“I told him to tell her that we’re all facing the future and not to worry about us... Hey, what’s with that look? I couldn’t tell Myne I’m off work for a bit since I punched my commander in the mouth,” Gunther said quickly, stumbling over his words and looking generally quite awkward. He wanted to be a dad his kids respected, and especially didn’t want to look uncool in front of Myne. 

“That means you need to go back to work so Myne doesn’t worry, now doesn’t it? So when are you going?” I asked with a teasing smile. Gunther’s brow furrowed in a deep, frustrated frown, and said “tomorrow” while avoiding my gaze. 

But I could see traces of a smile creeping onto his face. There was life in his voice again, and he was looking up instead of down. That was definitely just him putting on a brave face for now, but I knew he had finally decided to face the future and stride forward, almost certainly because he had finally felt for real that he still had a thin connection to Myne. He knew he could tell her about us by talking to Gil, the kids from the orphanage, and Lutz. 

Gunther slept soundly that night, not moving at all even when Kamil started crying. His mood changing so dramatically in a single day was so like him that I couldn’t help but feel a little happy. 

“Gunther sure does love Myne, doesn’t he, Kamil? His mood turned around completely just from hearing about Myne through Gil,” I said, patting Kamil on the back after feeding him. He replied with a small burp.