In Place of My Older Sister
This morning, right after breakfast, Father, Mother, and Uncle Ferdinand visited the northern building. I was called to my older brother’s room as well, where I was told the details of last night’s attack.
They had caught one of the culprits, but it was likely that even more people were involved behind the scenes. My older sister Rozemyne had almost died after being poisoned, and to dissolve her hardened mana, she would need to use a potion called a jureve and sleep for over a year.
My older sister, who had used her own guard knights to save me, putting her own safety on the line...
I started to sob, only for my uncle to scold me for wasting my strength. “There is no use crying when you could be working to repay her,” he said with a stern expression. “Crying is easy, and to be frank, it is a waste. I would much rather you dedicate your time and energy to filling the hole created by Rozemyne’s absence.”
Father warned Uncle Ferdinand that he was being too harsh, while Mother told me that Rozemyne would certainly not be happy to know that she was the reason for my tears.
I dried my eyes and looked up, at which point Uncle Ferdinand asked Wilfried and me to lead the winter playroom in Rozemyne’s place.
If he wants me to repay her, then I’ll do everything I can to take on her duties while she’s gone.
“As for the upcoming Spring Prayer, I would like to request Wilfried’s assistance,” Uncle Ferdinand continued. “He performed Mana Replenishment during the Archduke Conference, and Charlotte cannot help due to her inexperience controlling mana.”
This was no laughing matter; I was being removed from Spring Prayer right after steeling my resolve to repay Rozemyne. What else could I do now that I was being denied my best opportunity to repay her?
“Uncle, I can help! If all I need to do is get used to controlling mana, then I can practice during the winter, just as Wilfried practiced during the Archduke Conference. I too am a child of the archduke; please allow me to do what I can to make up for the absence of my sister, who was only poisoned because of what she did for my sake.”
My teachers had all said that I was more skilled than Wilfried, given how often he ran from his studies. By working hard, I could surely make up for Rozemyne’s absence.
“Charlotte, controlling mana is not easy,” Father said. “Learning will be a painful, arduous process. If that’s fine with you, then do as you wish. Being able to control mana and see with your own eyes what Rozemyne has been doing will surely be good for your growth.”
“Yes, Father.”
“I’ll go to Spring Prayer too!” Wilfried declared to Uncle Ferdinand with tightly clenched fists. “I can’t just let Rozemyne keep saving me without helping her in return!”
I stared at my brother, my eyes wide with surprise. This was not the Wilfried I knew—the Wilfried who was kind but lazy.
“Very well, you two. Practice controlling your mana by pouring it into the foundational magic over the winter. You will be supported by Bonifatius and the archducal couple.”
“Ferdinand...” Father began with a grimace, but my uncle simply grinned and gave him a diligent bow.
“May you assign them their duties for Spring Prayer, Aub Ehrenfest.”
After asking Father to take care of our mana practice and assign us to our duties for Spring Prayer, Uncle Ferdinand gave both Wilfried and me letters.
“These are from Rozemyne,” he said. “Written in them are schedules and plans for the winter playroom. I do not expect you to lead it as well as Rozemyne did, but please do what you can.”
“Right!”
And so came our first goal: leading the winter playroom. I hugged Rozemyne’s letter to my chest as I headed there with Wilfried. To make what was written a reality, my brother and I needed to work together.
Uncle Ferdinand had said that he would be sending Rozemyne’s head attendant and guard knights to the playroom, but her personnel were returning to the temple. He wanted us to use our own personnel well, and to take in the advice of those around us as we progressed.
Uncle said he didn’t think we could lead the playroom as well as Rozemyne, but she managed to do it when she was my age. I’ll show him that I can do just as good a job!
“Good evening, everyone.”
Since I had been told to get help from as many people as possible, I called over all of Rozemyne’s guard knights and attendants to show them the letters, starting with her teacher Moritz. The letters described having students of the Royal Academy gather information on duchies and take extensive notes during lectures to abet the creation of study guides. They would be rewarded for their work depending on the quality of the information and how detailed their notes were.
“What will they be receiving as payment, exactly?” one of the guard knights asked.
“Money, though I do not understand where Lady Rozemyne’s comes from,” Cornelius answered. “What are your budgets, Lord Wilfried and Lady Charlotte? Do they come from your head attendants, or would we need to speak with Aub Ehrenfest?”
I moved to explain my budget to Rozemyne’s apprentice guard knights, but before I could, another guard knight waved his hand in the air.
“Lady Rozemyne’s budget is handled by her guardian, Lord Ferdinand, as she often traveled between the castle and temple,” he explained. “She will determine the value of the information, so I think we should start by paying a small fee to all those who provide any. Lady Rozemyne can then pay them in full when she awakens.”
“I see. In that case, I would like for you and Brigitte to manage the information and handle the payments, Damuel. I’ll get the students at the Royal Academy to begin gathering the information and making their study guides.”
Rozemyne’s guard knights swiftly distributed the work between themselves. But for some reason, Angelica, who had shown such splendid initiative when rescuing me, seemed to be keeping her distance from the conversation.
“Can we expect the help of Lord Wilfried’s and your retainers at the Royal Academy, Lady Charlotte?” Cornelius asked.
“Why of course. Ernesta, I trust you to help them.”
“You may count on me, Lady Charlotte.”
Wilfried’s and my apprentice guard knights gave a firm nod as well, agreeing to fulfill Cornelius’s request.
“Lady Charlotte, I do believe that Cornelius and the others will handle this Royal Academy business just fine. What instructions did Lady Rozemyne leave regarding the winter playroom?” Rozemyne’s head attendant Rihyarda asked. I knew her well, since she had previously served as Father’s head attendant, so I could show her the letter without worry.
It said to continue having the children read and write based on their individual ability, since new picture books were coming soon; to increase the number of digits in their multiplication and division exercises; and to recover the picture books and toys lent out the previous year before going through the rental process again.
“Professor Moritz, will we be able to accomplish what Rozemyne did last year?” I asked.
“I will ensure that we do,” he said with a deliberate nod. “Last year, Lady Rozemyne handled the children with expert dexterity and motivated them to study through various means. I myself am a professor here—a teacher. I will use Lady Rozemyne’s methods as a reference to make it through the winter.”
“Yeah, I’ll help make up for Rozemyne’s absence too!” Wilfried declared, having experienced last year’s winter playroom firsthand.
Rihyarda fell into thought, then raised a hand to swiftly interrupt the discussion. “I hate to say this when you’re all so motivated, but once everyone has greeted Lady Charlotte, it would be best to explain Lady Rozemyne’s absence, simply state our plans for the playroom this year, and then conclude things for today.”
“Oh my, but why?” I asked. “I can do as the letter says just fine.”
“Everything requires preparation. Lady Rozemyne prepared sweets as a reward for the children who won last year, but could you ask the same of your chefs?”
I hadn’t planned for that kind of thing at all. As I faltered in surprise, Rihyarda looked up a little, as if recalling what Rozemyne had done.
“Lady Rozemyne had her personal musician help with harspiel practice, selected books for the children to transcribe based on their particular skill levels, organized the children into groups for karuta and card tournaments, and prepared sweets and the like to reward the winners. You would be hard-pressed to do the same so abruptly, especially considering that you did not see Lady Rozemyne work last year. It would be best if you instead spent today distributing the workloads and preparing for tomorrow.”
None of what Rihyarda had explained was mentioned in the letters.
“That’s easy to say, but we still don’t know what to do,” Wilfried interjected. “Do you, Rihyarda?”
“Oh yes, Wilfried my boy. I certainly do.”
At Rihyarda’s direction, Professor Moritz prepared tests to measure the abilities of those in the playroom, while we organized the workloads of our personal musicians and the like. Wilfried’s guard knights would work alongside the Knight’s Order to start training the children.
As I watched the others busily moving about, I received my first greetings from the children. I had been informed ahead of time which ones had tricked Wilfried during the autumn hunting tournament, and I needed to memorize their faces well. One of the challenges awaiting me this winter was carefully choosing how I interacted with them.
“Lady Charlotte, I was told that Lady Rozemyne would be resting for a very long time. May I ask just how long that will be?” a laynoble named Philine asked quietly, having been at the end of the line waiting to greet me. I could sense her worry about my sister in her wavering grass-green eyes.
“I am truly sorry, but I do not know the exact details either.”
“Lady Rozemyne said during the winter playroom last year that she would turn my mother’s stories into a book. This year, I worked hard and wrote the stories out myself instead of simply speaking them aloud for her to transcribe. I was hoping she would like to see them...” Philine explained before sadly lowering her gaze.
I was not capable of making a book for her; it was my very first day and I was already failing. My pride and self-confidence had swelled over my years of working hard to be worthy of my status, all the while being told that I was more competent than my brother, but now that assurance was starting to crack.
Our challenge began the next day. We started measuring the children’s knowledge using the tests that Professor Moritz had diligently written up overnight. Meanwhile, Wilfried relied on memory to put last year’s teams back together and set up games with the karuta and playing cards.
And we actually have sweets prepared today...
During the games, I was entrusted with looking over the group of newly baptized children. I needed to secure as many wins as I could here to establish myself as an unbeatable wall, just as my sister had done the year before.
Unfortunately, my resolve was shattered to pieces in the blink of an eye. The children had practiced karuta and cards with their siblings over the year, and they were now so good that I had no chance of winning. In comparison, I had only ever been able to practice during Wilfried’s occasional visits, so the children promptly demolished me.
As infinitely frustrating as it was, I couldn’t simply give up and accept defeat. But as I prepared for a second round, a guard knight named Damuel quietly called out to me. He wished to see my sister’s letters so that they could handle the study materials currently being returned.
“What exactly do you mean when you refer to returning study materials?” I asked.
“Lady Rozemyne lent out study materials in exchange for stories, for the sake of laynobles who could not afford them. Ah, yes—the list of borrowers is right here.”
The list of names that I hadn’t understood the purpose of turned out to be those who had borrowed study materials and the stories they had offered. Damuel requested that I summon them all together.
I called for the laynobles to return their study materials, and they promptly gathered with them in hand. A guard knight named Brigitte delicately put the materials into a wooden box while Damuel marked their names off on the list. As I watched their perfect teamwork, the games of karuta that the older children had been playing came to an end.
“The winners shall now be given sweets,” I announced.
“Yesss!” came the excited cries. “I’ve been waiting all year for this!”
With that, I distributed the sweets among the children who had won. They rejoiced and immediately began to devour them, but then their expressions changed. For the briefest moment, they looked at their rewards with a frown, then forced a smile back onto their faces and politely commented, “These are delicious.”
I tilted my head in confusion, at which point Wilfried stepped in. “Sorry, everyone... Rozemyne is sick this year, so her personal chefs aren’t here. They won’t be the same sweets as last year.”
It was then that I remembered the sweets I had eaten during my first tea party with Rozemyne and understood everything. They were all delicacies I had never eaten before, each one more delicious than the last. None of my personal chefs were capable of making them.
I sadly lowered my eyes, but as the sorrow swept over me, Philine quietly took my hands. “There is no need for you to feel so down, Lady Charlotte. The fact that there is a reward at all is more than enough,” she said. “I don’t get to eat sweets often at home, so I’m delighted to be rewarded with them.”
“That’s right, Charlotte. My personal chefs wouldn’t be able to make any of those sweets either,” Wilfried reassured me. “Rozemyne came up with them herself, so they’re special. Her attendants told me all about it.”
It seemed that Rozemyne had not only been making picture books, but sweets as well.
Will I truly be able to fill the hole that my sister left behind...?
Supper came and went with me having failed to do anything right, and then began my first magic lesson.
I registered my mana in Father’s office, then entered the Mana Replenishment hall for the first time. It was a strange room with a massive magic tool, which I would be providing with mana—not my own, mind you, but mana that was already stored in feystones. Wilfried was going to be supported by Bonifatius, while I was being supported by Mother.
“Place your hand on top of the feystone like so, then visualize your mana flowing deep, deep into it,” Mother explained while placing her hand atop mine. I gripped the feystone firmly, determined to succeed this time.
“I am one who offers prayer and gratitude to the gods who have created the world,” Father began.
As he prayed, I could feel the mana in the feystone start flowing into me. Having someone else’s mana trying to enter me was a gross sensation, so I hurriedly pushed for it to flow out the opposite side of the feystone. It required an immense amount of strength to fight against the flow, and despite trying my best to focus, I could feel my head getting increasingly fuzzy.
“That’s enough,” Father said, at which point Mother took the feystone out of my hand. The pressure I had been so desperately resisting went away all at once, allowing a wave of exhaustion to wash over me. I ended up crumpling down onto the floor; I didn’t have the energy to move at all.
But while I was so exhausted that I could barely even move my mouth to speak, Wilfried stood up normally and said, “Whew! Glad that’s over.”
“You sure seem energetic, Wilfried...”
“He was as exhausted as you the first time he did it, Charlotte. He sure has grown,” Father said with a chuckle.
Wilfried gave a big nod. “I think I got used to it when we were offering mana every day throughout spring. Rozemyne used her own mana for this, not relying on the feystones, but even then she was totally fine. She said that she was already used to doing it because of the Dedication Ritual. She collapses if she so much as runs, sure, but Mana Replenishment is nothing to her.”
Wilfried tried to console me by saying I would get used to it, but hearing those words only brought tears to my eyes.
“Charlotte, are you okay?! Was it so hard that it’s making you cry?!”
“No, Wilfried. It’s just... Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be so useless. I cannot fill the hole left by Rozemyne at all.”
I had visualized myself doing so much better. Rozemyne had fallen into a long sleep because of me, so I at least wanted to do an excellent job of repaying her. I had hoped that I could contribute enough to make her proud of what I had done, but instead, I was failing at everything.
“Charlotte, don’t compare yourself to Rozemyne,” Father said. “It is her abundance of both knowledge and mana that led to her becoming known as the Saint of Ehrenfest—one worthy of being adopted by the archduke. There’s no need for you to completely fill the hole she left. Just do what you can and put your all into it. You’re doing very well.”
He tried to console me as well, but I was still frustrated with myself. I had never thought there would be such a huge gap between us, especially considering that she was only one year older than me. Taking her place during her absence was the only thing I could do to repay her for what she had done, but I just couldn’t manage it.
My day ended with me feeling miserable and defeated.
Once the students had departed for the Royal Academy, it was time to focus on the children’s studies for real. We needed to alternate between writing and math lessons, schedule different musicians for harspiel practice, organize groups for karuta and cards based on their skill levels, prepare sweets as their rewards, take on the roles of unbeatable rivals to motivate them to grow, and manage the stories that the children brought us.
We encountered many problems here as well, but each time one arose, Wilfried and I asked those around us what Rozemyne had done. We were doing our best to lead the winter playroom as smoothly as possible.
“Did Rozemyne really do all this on her own...?” I whispered in semi-disbelief.
Professor Moritz sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I do recall Lady Rozemyne giving me various suggestions before class started each day, but I never would have guessed that she micromanaged things so carefully. She sometimes participated in the games, but it had seemed to me that she otherwise only ever read books or wrote out stories.”
It seemed that Rozemyne had been carefully observing the expressions of the children while writing down the stories for her picture books, and when they grew restless, she would suggest switching over to math. Only now did Professor Moritz realize the importance of doing this. What’s more, it was a lot easier to lose track of time when teaching a large group of children compared to a single student.
As Wilfried and I spent our days struggling to lead the winter playroom as described, Uncle Ferdinand arrived with a new task for us to complete. He had delivered us each a sizable stack of boards, saying that we needed to memorize them all before Spring Prayer.
There were three boards’ worth of prayers and traditional greetings that we had to learn as a bare minimum, five boards we would really want to have memorized, and two boards of extra content for us to memorize if we wanted to do exactly what our dedicated sister had done.
“Seems like Rozemyne really memorized all of these; her temple attendants told me about it. Well... I’m just gonna go with these three for now. It won’t be much, but I won’t make any mistakes this way.”
As much as I wanted to say that I would memorize all ten to better make up for Rozemyne’s absence, I no longer had the confidence that I could do exactly what she had done. My pride had been shattered to pieces, and so I took only three boards, just like my brother.
“...Rozemyne sure is incredible, isn’t she?” I muttered weakly as I looked over the rows upon rows of densely packed words constituting all the prayers I needed to learn.
“Yep,” Wilfried agreed. “Rozemyne’s incredible. That’s why we need to catch up as much as we can while she’s asleep.”
I was genuinely impressed that Wilfried had the motivation to work so hard when his goal was to catch up to Rozemyne. My heart had grown dark with thoughts that she was too special and forever beyond my reach, but his sincerity seemed to be shining a bright light on me that chased the shadows away.
“I’ll catch up to both you and her, Wilfried!”
We competed with each other to learn as many of the prayers as possible, and even if we couldn’t do everything that Rozemyne had done, we had gotten a respectable grip on leading the playroom properly by the time spring was around the corner.
Goodness, time passes by so quickly, doesn’t it?
I sighed in relief at our busy winter finally coming to a close, at which point Philine came walking over. “Lady Charlotte, will you be lending out and selling study materials this year as well?” she asked.
Only then did I remember that the Plantin Company had sold learning goods last year. I paled at the realization that I hadn’t planned for that at all.
How could I forget?! It was right there in Rozemyne’s letters! What do I do?!
The one who saved me from my floundering was none other than Damuel. He was so skilled when it came to planning and other administrative duties that I genuinely questioned whether he was a scholar instead of a knight. After I told him the problem, barely holding back my tears, he instantly sent an ordonnanz to Uncle Ferdinand, who then got permission from Father to use the playroom for business and scheduled for the Plantin Company to visit at the end of winter.
“Thank you for your help, Damuel.”
“This is nothing compared to being dragged around by Lady Rozemyne, trying to realize her crazy ideas,” he replied with a peaceful smile. And then it hit me—serving someone special like my sister was so difficult that even the knights had to do the work of scholars to keep up.
Of course I can’t do exactly what Rozemyne does... She’s special. One of a kind.
I had started to make peace with myself when springtime came. For Spring Prayer, both Wilfried and I would be leaving the city of Ehrenfest for the first time and traveling across the Central District. It would be a journey that lasted half a month, which meant we needed to prepare three carriages and quite a significant amount of luggage.
Our attendants in the castle knew little about religious affairs, so Wilfried was being served by one of Uncle Ferdinand’s attendants, while I was being served by Fran, one of my sister’s temple attendants.
“It is an honor to serve you, Lady Charlotte.”
“The honor is mine as well, Fran. Would you kindly tell me more about my sister?”
“If you have a question that you wish for me to answer, please do not hesitate to ask.”
We first headed to Hasse, our carriage rattling along as we went. On the way there, Fran explained what relationship my sister had with the city: she had saved its citizens by negotiating with Uncle Ferdinand after they committed treason, educated them, and overall acted just as one would expect a saint to act.
“Lady Rozemyne despises death far more than one would ever expect. She persistently searches for resolutions where nobody has to die, and I feel that she often experiences great difficulty as a result. This value she places on human life is the reason she treats even orphans and gray priests such as myself with care and respect,” he said, a small, proud smile forming on his face.
I started to worry a little, wondering whether my own attendants and guard knights admired me so sincerely. I had been taught that nobles needed to use their subordinates well, but it was only upon seeing how respected Rozemyne was that I myself wanted to become someone who my retainers could look up to.
“Fran, is there anything that my sister especially likes? I would like to give her a gift when she awakens, to thank her for saving me.”
“Lady Rozemyne loves books to such an extent that no other answer comes to mind. All her temple attendants know this, and so we are all working hard to create as many new books for her as possible.”
When we arrived at Hasse, we were welcomed by its people with an almost manic fervor. To them, this was no normal Spring Prayer, but a special one that showed the archduke had forgiven them after an entire year of grueling perseverance.
The stage for Spring Prayer had already been set up. Fran went up first to put the chalice—a divine instrument—into place and lead into the ceremony. Meanwhile, I was changed into ceremonial robes in the carriage, with both the white High Bishop robes and the spring hair stick that I was due to wear belonging to Rozemyne.
Incidentally, Wilfried had brought the ceremonial blue robes that had been made for Rozemyne last year, albeit with a few minor modifications so they would fit him. We had no other choice, since having underage children perform these ceremonies was usually unheard of, and the only child-sized ceremonial robes available belonged to her.
“I’m ready.”
“You risk dirtying your robes, Lady Charlotte. Please allow me.”
As I attempted to descend the carriage’s steps, Fran picked me up and began walking me to the stage. I had never been carried like this in the castle, and Fran gave a bit of an uncomfortable smile as he saw my eyes widen in surprise.
“Lady Rozemyne walks at an exceptionally leisurely pace and often comes close to tripping over her robes, so I carry her when we are at farming towns. I understand that this must be unusual and perhaps even unpleasant for you, Lady Charlotte, but please forgive my rudeness; the ground is wet and slippery.”
Fran climbed onto the stage and set me down behind the podium with the divine instrument on it. There were more people gathered before me than all the nobles who had attended my debut, and I could feel their eyes boring holes into me. Their fervent, desperate looks were so intense that I was struck with the urge to simply flee the stage in fear.
I was conscious that I was even more nervous than I had been during my baptismal debut, in part because seeing Rozemyne’s reassuring smiles and hearing her voice had been enough to ease my fears about my performance. Only a single season had passed since then, yet it already felt like forever ago.
What if I fail? Everyone will surely be disappointed that I couldn’t do what my sister could...
As I anxiously tensed up, the town chiefs who would be receiving the blessings came up onto the stage with large buckets. They all had hopeful looks in their eyes as they approached me, and I could feel my throat drying up.
As my mind swam with thoughts of failure, Fran stepped forward and handed me a single feystone dyed a light yellow. “Lady Charlotte, this is the feystone you will be using for this blessing. I am told it is filled with Lady Rozemyne’s mana,” he explained. “Please deliver her mana to the people she has shown so much concern for. This is something that only you can do. You practiced extensively for this day, correct? Please pray and offer up Lady Rozemyne’s mana.”
Only I can deliver my sister’s mana to Hasse...
I had declared that I would fill the void left by my sister, so this was something that I absolutely had to do without fail. After a few deep breaths, I touched the feystone filled with Rozemyne’s mana against the feystone on the divine instrument. Then, I slowly opened my mouth.
“O Goddess of Water Flutrane, bringer of healing and change. O twelve goddesses who serve by her side. The Goddess of Earth Geduldh has been freed from the God of Life Ewigeliebe. I pray that you grant your younger sister the power to birth new life.”
I forcefully pushed my mana against the feystone so that its mana would flow into the chalice, which made it start glowing a bright yellow. The gathered citizens let out cries of awe and excitement, but I kept my eyes lowered and continued the prayer.
“I offer to you our joy and songs of glee. I offer to you our prayers and gratitude, so that we may be blessed with your purifying protection. I ask that you fill the thousand lives upon the wide mortal realm with your divine color.”
When I was done, Fran deftly took the chalice and poured the glowing green liquid within into the lined-up buckets.
I was a little more used to controlling mana than before, but performing my first divine ritual in front of this many people was surprisingly exhausting. In a somewhat embarrassing display, I collapsed into a sitting position atop the stage, lacking the strength to move.
“You did excellently, Lady Charlotte. Please take this, a potion for rejuvenating one’s mana, as a token of the High Priest’s appreciation of your efforts,” Fran said, holding out a potion with a smile.
“Thank you.”
I gratefully took the potion and opened it, only to be struck with a painfully foul odor. I instinctively looked up at Fran, wondering whether this was a cruel prank of some kind.
“Fran, the potion seems to smell quite horrible... Is this truly for drinking?”
“Lady Rozemyne said something similar when she was first given one, but yes, it is indeed a potion for you to drink. The High Priest uses these when he needs to recover Lady Rozemyne’s health in as short of a period as possible. The smell and taste are both terrible, but it is very effective.”
I drank the potion, swallowing desperately as I tried to hold back the tears and stop myself from throwing up. The taste was so terrible that my tongue tingled and the tears broke through, streaming down my cheeks, but my exhaustion faded in an instant and I could move again. Even then, though, it wasn’t a potion that I wanted to drink again in my life.
“Lady Rozemyne used these potions to recover her mana and strength while performing the ceremonies, drinking one whenever she ran out of mana or energy so that she was ready for the next. Each of her Spring Prayers and Harvest Festivals have been similar. If necessary, please do not hesitate to ask for another; the High Priest has given me many potions for this occasion, and Spring Prayer is far from over.”
Rozemyne performed ceremony after ceremony while drinking these potions, all so she could offer up her mana for the sake of Ehrenfest? She sounds less like a saint and more like an outright goddess...
No longer did I feel any surprise, shock, awe, or envy toward Rozemyne. Those feelings had vanished, and all that remained was the urge to worship her.
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