Ascendance of a Bookworm (LN) - Volume 4.3 - Chapter 19

A Promise

I went inside, with everyone else following behind me. I sat in the chair that Gil pulled out for me; then, once Fran had shut the door, I calmly looked over everyone.

Damuel stood behind me, Fran stood by the door, and Gil stood to my right in the standard attendant position. They were all in their usual spots, but the three from the Plantin Company looked awkwardly between Justus and me, unsure of where to go.

“Benno, Mark, Lutz... It’s fine. Justus is here, but he knows everything. You can sit and act as you normally do.”

“Wha?” Lutz exclaimed. He looked up at Justus, who in turn looked down at him with an amused cocked eyebrow.

“I’m the one who sussed Myne out way back when, at Lord Ferdinand’s order. That’s why he trusted me with the Plantin Company and the workshop for the past two years. To be clear, I’m here at Lord Ferdinand’s order too.”

Lutz grimaced at that. He took a seat in front of me and then gave me a worried look. “Lady Rozemyne, what did the High Priest say?”

“Lutz, please. Speak normally.”

“Normally...?” He looked around the room; then he sighed and shut his eyes tightly. It took him a moment, but his green eyes eventually looked straight at me. “Alrighty then. What happened?”

I was relieved to hear his familiar tone, but at the same time, I was struck with a sense of unstoppable desolation. My eyes started to feel uncomfortably warm, and through the blur of tears I saw Lutz and Benno reaching toward me.

I clenched my fists on my lap. “Today’s the last day we can use the hidden room. So he told me to... say my goodbyes...” I said, choking the words out between deep breaths, tears now streaming down my cheeks.

I heard Benno grunt as I watched the beads dripping down onto my hands. “Figures. Putting aside how you look and all that, you’re ten years old as far as the public’s concerned. We knew you wouldn’t be able to use the room like this for much longer. Noble society’s too strict for that,” he said with a bitter expression.

Lutz’s eyes widened with surprise. He was the only one of the trio who hadn’t expected this to be our last farewell—Benno and Mark had both known it was going to come eventually.

“Age is one factor, but you also show favoritism to only a select few merchants,” Mark said to me. His tone was peaceful, but his smile was tinged with concern. “There are already many merchants saying that you have too much of an attachment to the Plantin and Gilberta Companies. If rumors spread that you have been taking commoner men into your hidden room, all of us will suffer greatly.”

The impact would be even more severe if people came to assume that all of the Plantin Company’s success was due to my favoritism. According to Benno, it would impact his workers’ motivation, and the last thing I wanted to do was damage his business’s reputation.

“Yeah, I guess a saint can’t be at the center of talk like that...” Lutz said.

“Not just that,” I noted. “The engagement is about to be announced.”

Lutz blinked at me, completely stunned. “Whose engagement...?” he asked, his brow contorted in bemusement.

“Mine. The announcement that I’m getting engaged to my brother, Wilfried. The son of the archduke.”

Naturally, this surprised everyone. Both Benno and Mark looked wholly taken aback, while Lutz stared at me quizzically as though he couldn’t quite accept the idea of me getting engaged.

“Uh... Wait. You’re engaged...? I-Isn’t it kinda early for that?”

“Uh huh. A lot happened in the Royal Academy. The engagement is necessary to stop bigger problems from happening.”

“You sure do cause trouble wherever you go, huh?” Lutz said with an exasperated look. He then grimaced with worry. “Guess these aren’t problems I can help you with anymore...”

His conflicted smile made my heart ache. I wanted to hug him tightly like usual, but I couldn’t find the strength to reach out to him. I just opened and closed my fists on my lap, staring at the creases that were forming on my skirt. It was like there was a wall between us or a vast chasm that I was only now noticing. Perhaps I had always known it was there, but I had simply ignored it... and now I was being made to face it head-on.

It really was hard to put what I was feeling into words.

“The High Priest said it would sound terrible for an engaged noble girl to invite commoner men into her hidden room...” I said.

“I mean, that sounds terrible regardless of you being a noble,” Lutz shot back immediately. “I see your head still isn’t screwed on right.”

I pursed my lips, which made Lutz scratch his head just as Benno always did. He had clearly picked up the habit from him.

“Err, alright. I get that we can’t see each other here anymore,” Lutz said. “But... are you fine with that? Really?”

“...Obviously not,” I replied, tears dripping down my face as my true feelings started to spill out. I hadn’t been fine with it before, and nothing had changed. “You accepted the real me, helped me make paper and hairpins while watching out for my health, and helped me to figure out our next step whenever we hit a wall. You were there for me when I was so lonely and worried that I thought I might die, and you brought letters to my family when I got separated from them... Everything I’ve done has been possible because of you. I never would have been able to do it all alone.”

“Look, if you’re not okay with this...” Lutz began, but I raised a hand to stop him.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. It’s too late. The High Priest had planned to stop overlooking all this once I started attending the Royal Academy. He allowed it to continue for a bit longer when my two-year sleep caused me to almost lose my mind with fear, but... this farewell should have happened a long time ago.”

Lutz wore a pained grimace, while Benno and Mark averted their gazes, staring at the floor.

“I understand why we can’t stay together more than anyone, but I don’t understand it either,” I continued. “Why did I need to sleep for two whole years? Why wasn’t that enough time for me to become fully healthy? Why do we have to say goodbye already? They say it’s because I’m too old now, but to me, nothing’s changed.”

Lutz reached out to console me but then stopped short. Instead, he gripped my hand in a tight fist.

“...Don’t cry.”

His voice came out low, almost like a growl. I looked up to see that he was now on his feet, staring down at me, his teeth gritted in frustration.

“Don’t cry anymore, Myne!”

I was so shocked to hear Lutz yell at me and call me “Myne” that my tears stopped in an instant.

“From this point on, no matter how much you cry, I won’t be there to calm you down. So... just don’t cry anymore,” he continued. His face made it clear that he was desperately holding back the pain, while his voice told me he was agonizing over his own powerlessness.

Lutz sat back down, and silence fell over the room. Justus was quietly watching me. His eyes were just like Ferdinand’s—the eyes of someone evaluating another for their worth. I very nearly averted my gaze out of weakness, but Lutz called out to me at the same time, drawing my attention to him rather than the floor.

“Myne. Do you remember talking about our dreams on the way to the forest, way back when?”

I recalled the time I had breathlessly walked to the forest with a tiny basket on my back, eager to forage firewood and food. Lutz had set my pace, Tuuli was there leading the children, and even Ralph and Fey were accompanying us. All the kids went to the forest in one large group, but I was so slow that I would always leave first and arrive last.

I vaguely remembered us discussing our dreams back when I had been desperate just to make some clay tablets. At the time, we hadn’t known anything about city citizenship, the lives of traveling merchants, or what people thought about it. But with that ignorance came a sense of freedom and fearlessness.

“You said you wanted to be a traveling merchant, right?” A gentle smile touched my lips as I thought back on the memory, but Lutz returned a nod with a look of complete seriousness.

“Right. I wanted to become a traveling merchant to leave this city—to explore other cities... and thanks to you, that dream came true. I’m leaving this city all the time as a Gutenberg. I’ve gone to Hasse, to Illgner, and most recently to Haldenzel. Haldenzel was a long trip even by carriage, so we stopped at all kinds of cities and towns on the way. I’ve been to so many places, and I’m gonna go to so many more. Because we’ve gotta make more printing workshops.” Lutz began to list all the other cities and towns he had visited, looking directly at me with his green eyes. Then he eventually asked: “Do you remember what your dream was...?”

I blinked and scoured my memories. I hadn’t had any paper or ink at the time, so my aim had simply been to have some kind of way of recording letters. I was small, weak, lacking in stamina, and essentially broke... yet I wanted things to read so, so badly.

“...I wanted to live surrounded by books. My dream was for there to be several new books published each month, and for me to live a life where I could read them all...”

Aah, right... Compared to back then, I’m really, really blessed right now.

I had made paper, ink, a printing press, and a foundation through which the archduke could direct the growth of the printing industry. There were people helping me make books, and I had even befriended a fellow bookworm in the Royal Academy. There were book rooms in both the temple and the castle, which I could enter at will and freely browse thanks to my current status. Only now did it occur to me that I had obtained everything I could have ever wanted back then.

I looked at my hands and then back at Lutz, who nodded at me in understanding. “There’s still only a few new books being written each year in Ehrenfest,” he said. “But if we keep building printing workshops, we’ll be able to manage a new book each month—hopefully even more than that.”

There was now a printing workshop in Haldenzel as well as Ehrenfest, and there were several other giebes who wanted to start printing in their provinces too. If the Gutenbergs continued to move around the duchy and spread their knowledge, the number of printing workshops would dramatically increase moving forward. These were concrete steps toward my dream of there being more books—more concrete than anything else we could do.

“I’ll keep making them,” Lutz said. “I’ll keep making more and more books for you to read.”

“Why are you willing to do so much for me...?” I asked. No sooner had the words left my mouth than it struck me that I had asked him a similar question in the past.

Lutz smiled a little, as if to say the answer was obvious. “’Cause you made my dream come true, and now I want to return the favor. I’ll make a ton of books for you and send them your way, so don’t cry. You just need to smile and wait for them to arrive.”

That didn’t make me happy, so much as it made me feel like it was a bit wrong. Lutz had been working with me this whole time, and now he was telling me to wait. I was truly happy about getting more books without having to do anything, but I didn’t really want Lutz of all people saying that. I thought about why that was, my brows furrowed, and then, the realization hit me.

“I really need to shape up, don’t I...?”

“Huh?”

Of course it didn’t feel right. We had gotten this far together. Our jobs had always been different, for sure—whether we were making hairpins and paper, saving the orphans in the temple, or selling books in the castle, we were doing different things in different places, but I had never just sat and waited for him to do everything.

“You make the things I think up, Lutz. I can’t just sit around and wait for you to toss things my way. I need to do what I can do myself. For me to waste so much time and potential, well... I wouldn’t have the right to read your books.”

Lutz grinned, while Benno’s dark-red eyes flashed with a light that spoke louder than words: “Yup, that’s exactly right. If you’ve got time to cry then you’ve got time to work. Make money instead. Make a profit.”

“I’ll support you and the other Gutenbergs so that you can do your jobs well and make as many books as possible,” I said. “And just like I promised my dad... I’ll protect this city and everyone in it.”

“Indeed,” Mark said encouragingly. “The Plantin Company and Gutenbergs will continue to be involved with the nobility into perpetuity. The only one who can protect us weak commoners is you, the archduke’s adopted daughter.”

I nodded, at which point Lutz abruptly rose from his chair and stood in front of me. Then, he held out a hand. “It’s a promise. Even if we can’t meet each other like this anymore, I’ll keep making books for you. And this promise lasts forever.”

I stood up and took Lutz’s hand, making sure to grip it tightly as I put my all into my own declaration. “Even if we can’t meet each other like this anymore, I’ll keep thinking of ways to help all of you. That’s my promise to you.”

We grinned at each other, hand in hand. Even when separated, we would continue walking down the same path—the path of making books.

“Later. Keep your promise, alright?”

“You too, Lutz.”

Once our promises had been exchanged, Lutz and the others exited my hidden room. Gil would be seeing them off to the gate, and I watched them leave the hidden room with puffy eyes.

“Justus.”

“Yes, milady?”

“Am I smiling right now? Do you think Lutz left without worrying about me?”

Justus quietly nodded. “You are smiling. However, if I may make a suggestion... There is still time before we must return to the castle. Why not make use of your hidden room? Adult noblewomen who must not allow their emotions to be shown use their hidden rooms to be alone and recover,” he said.

In addition, he suggested that I use the hidden room in the High Bishop’s chambers. My attendants couldn’t do their jobs while I was in this one.

“A hidden room should be to you as your family and the lower city merchants have been before now,” he continued. The comparison immediately made sense to me—my hidden room was like my lower city family in that it provided me an opportunity to reveal my true self.

“I see...” I said. “So my family was like a hidden room with a door that can no longer be opened, while Lutz and the merchants were like bedding with a canopy that could once be closed, or perhaps a blanket that would give me the energy I needed to work another day... Now that they are gone, however, I must find someplace else to rest.”

Following that conclusion, I gave an empty smile. Perhaps I would need to grow strong enough to sleep outside like a knight.

After I exited my hidden room, Fran stepped forward with a slight frown and placed a veil over my head. It blocked my face so that other people wouldn’t be able to see my puffy eyes or flushed, tear-stained cheeks.

As I sighed in relief, Fran said “excuse me” and picked me up. “Monika, Nicola, I entrust the cleanup to you both. I will be taking the tired Lady Rozemyne back to the High Bishop’s chambers,” he said before briskly walking off.

I very nearly protested that I could walk on my own, but instead, I conceded and rested my head against Fran. This was his way of offering me comfort and physical affection without overstepping the boundary that sat between a servant and the one they served.

He’s as hard to understand as Ferdinand... Just like always.

Damuel and Angelica were following me as guard knights, while Justus was walking beside us. Right after we arrived at the High Bishop’s chambers, I was set down by the door to my hidden room.

“Milady, I will summon you when it is time to return to the castle. Please do use your hidden room in the meantime,” Justus said. “This box contains something you want, correct?” He handed over the box he had brought for me while implying that he knew about the letter from my family that was wedged between the documents.

“I thank you ever so much, Justus.”

Once inside my hidden room, I took the letter out of the box. It was a reply to the message I had given the Plantin Company during the castle’s book fair—a message in which I had described Tuuli’s hairpin receiving the prince’s favor and my coming first-in-class at the Royal Academy. Everyone had read the letter, and they showered me with praise.

“You certainly are working hard, Myne. That really must have been very difficult. Take care not to fall sick—that’s what I’m worried about the most.”

“Whew. Tuuli got praised by the prince and you got better grades than all the nobles? Both my daughters sure are something else. I couldn’t be more proud as a father.”

“There are more craftspeople making hairpins, but I’m working hard so that I get to keep making all the ones for you, Myne. I don’t want anyone else taking this job from me.”

Just opening the letter had made me want to cry, so I was positively bawling by the time I actually started to read it. Once the scholars started following me about everywhere, we wouldn’t be able to have secret exchanges like this anymore.

“Dad, Mom, Tuuli...”

I could no longer enter my hidden room now that my magic contract with Sylvester had effectively locked the door.

“Benno, Mark, Lutz...”

I no longer had a support blanket to wrap around myself and vent my emotions into.

“I’ll keep my promise, but Lutz... it looks like I won’t be able to stop crying.”