Chapter 10: Solitude
Before my eyes was a mess of mops and furniture that had collapsed upon opening the door, somewhat blocking the entrance. I lowered my heavy head and saw a leg powerlessly thrown on top of the dusty floor. Its right knee was bleeding a little. My own leg… I wonder when I injured it.
My head began to catch up and went back through the memory of what I’d been doing. I lost myself in wanting to get away from that place as soon as possible and ran without any destination, then tripped in the hallway. I lifted my head and straightened my gaze, then looked around.
This was that first storeroom I searched with Kaito… He moved around the old desks, bureaus, mops, brooms, and buckets, leaving them piled up near the entrance. So getting in was fine, but getting out looked like a tight fit. But this was much better than the long gallery I’d entered repeatedly while running around, or one of the guest rooms. On the off chance they came looking for me, it would be hard to find me here.
The first shock came when the Mistress called the Doll Boy “Len,” and it merely confused me. I simply wondered, “Wait, why?” But as their conversation continued, my confusion became sadness… and fear… and resentment, and anger. All of my emotions were mixed, and I felt like I was going to burst from them.
Yet, when those emotions peaked, the intensity of them was suddenly gone, and I began to feel like I was watching a play - an ambivalent human drama swirling with love, hate, intrigue. My mind stopped thinking, and I admired the scene unfolding before me ala a play. How much I wish it were only just a play.
“Ahaha… How cruel…”
My hoarse voice echoed futilely in the unoccupied room.
“Somebody… tell me it’s just a lie…”
I reached out to cling to something and touched only air. I saw a hand in my blurred vision. But it was just my own hand… there was only me. No one would take my trembling hand.
I was sad. Regretful. Pained. Lonely. How miserable. I recalled the conversation I’d heard from behind the door piece by piece, and the intense emotions smoldering in my chest welled up to my throat, and I sobbed. I firmly held my mouth with both hands to keep from making any sound. But even so, my intense wailing that I must have wanted someone to respond to echoed in the empty room, only coming back to my own ears. The more severely I cried, the more hollowness it brought.
I had believed in the others unquestioningly as friends. I expected a hand to stroke my head as I wept all alone, a voice to scold me for crying over something like that, a gaze to gently watch in silence, or delicious milk tea that would calm me, but there was nothing like that… there never had been. The first-class actors who could manipulate every sense would not offer me such consolation anymore.
I had never truly been a friend to those professionals. I hadn’t even been betrayed; I’d just convinced myself that I had already become their friend. Idiotic… What a foolish, miserable, impudent mistake. Not seeing how I could never become a friend to them from the start, I made my own stupid assumption and prided myself on it.
“The lead role of this play will die, even if she says and does nothing. That’s her fate… Because it’s the law of this world.”
Earlier, I tripped in the empty hallway while running. I always tripped clumsily, so I was sure it was just that once again. But I was wrong. Just how many times had I felt the fear of death since coming to this world? The breaking stepladder, the fall down the stairs. Not to mention the sword that came down from above. The milk tea that was offered to me with perfect timing: right after hearing the story about the perfect crime of the well-concealed poison. It all seemed too unlucky. But they weren’t just accidents; they were all planned, intentional events…
The star actress who suddenly disappeared - taboo words - she who died - the replacement of lead roles - ninth person - the karma of death - necessary death - to bring her back from the grave - Miku can’t know the truth, or go back to reality - the completion of our objective - the mastermind’s invitation - the sudden troupe audition - the dream I saw this morning - First nighT.
Now, the pieces of the puzzle were assembled… Everything I had felt doubts about finally came together neatly to form a single story.
I had to sever myself from them - from the affection, trust, and bonds I felt. And I had to build resolve to fight against them. I had to think of a way to avoid things going to script, or I would be left all alone in this world to die…
All my sadness over being tricked changed to anger and hate. Just like in that Bad ∞ End ∞ Night. They were fighting, to the point of experiencing temporary death in this fictional world, to drive me toward the death they desired. So I would have to be determined as well, and finish them off before they finished me. This time, I would have them perform the script I had thought up, without letting them realize I’d noticed the truth - and finishing this repeating play with a last act, the actors would step off the stage to applause.
Kaito said that the letter was important. Most likely, this was the End roLL, like I’d predicted. And using the End roLL, I could create a scene they didn’t want - the lead being saved and being able to return to reality. And the things they tried to keep me away from… They were likely related to the usage of the End roLL.
First, the wine bottle. When I searched the wine cellar, there was a single bottle that wasn’t fake, with a bit of real wine left. Gack naturally diverted my attention away from the wine. I should have been very interested in this single non-prop bottle that concealed the potential to be used for something… but before I knew it, he was talking about wine in general, then switched things to an entirely unrelated topic. Maybe this would be the ink. Since when I spilled it on the blank End roLL, it glowed. Now for the other part…
I frantically went around my memories. As I searched for things hidden behind all the actions I’d witnessed since coming here, a particular scene came back to me. Rin was always in the hall, in front of the clock… Yes, the clock hands…! When I tried to approach them, she said it was dangerous, and her eyes threatened against coming any closer… I had to hurry and get those hands!
When I stood up, pain shot up my right knee. I took the handkerchief Luka gave me out of my pocket and wrapped it tightly around my knee. It was faintly soaked with the blood which still hadn’t stopped.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Behind my eyelids, I imagined another me.
She arrived late to their meeting and stepped into the dim room looking very apologetic. Everyone looked her over with some doubt and unease over how very late she was. She, too, looked like she was dying to ask the others something, a little curious about what she’d seen in those books in the library… Slowly, the air in the room grew tense, each party wanting to probe the other… She made a face full of unease, yet trusted them, and approached saying she’d found a hint toward finding the next page. Acting stupidly and easily-fooled, yes, like an audience member… Her objective was to steal their script.
Yes, I didn’t know a thing. Wholly ignorant of being number nine, the pitiful replacement, I would dance for them.
I hid the clock hands in my skirt pocket, held the wine bottle in my left hand, and with my open right, lightly knocked on the door to the study.
“Searching the stockhouse certainly took you a while. We were all waiting for you.”
The Mistress sitting on the sofa nearest the door welcomed me with a concerned smile. Only slightly opening the extravagant wooden door, I stepped my foot into the room.
“Um… I finished checking the stockroom a little while ago. But I remembered something when I was searching the wine cellar with Mr. Butler. You said you’d rather drink beer than tea earlier, so I brought some…”
“My, so there’s some left! I’m glad.”
“…This is no time to be drinking, all right?”
The Master scolded the rejoicing Mistress with deeper wrinkles in his brow than usual. I could interpret it as an expression with some unease; because the Villager had brought the wine bottle, a key to progressing the story. Coming inside, I went over to the wall on the right… toward the small table with the script. The armchair across from it was empty, so I was able to sit down there in a natural way.
Paying no attention to the script, the Villager looked fidgety about something else - she couldn’t help but be curious about the things she heard in the library earlier… but she was pondering how to break the topic. The inhabitants, meanwhile, were likely formulating a plan to steal the letter.
“Oh, did you find the page? Alas, I’ve had no luck at all. I haven’t found so much as a scrap of paper…”
The Lady started things off. The word “paper” was intended to cause a breach.
“Yes, same here! The kitchen had nothing but paper napkins for dining!”
“And the newspapers in the living room all had things written on them… Those won’t do. To think so much effort would go into finding a single piece of paper…”
“But…! They do SAY things are alWAYS right under your NOSE! YahaHA!”
I knew that they were creating a natural flow of conversation to obtain the blank letter the Villager had. Starting with the Lady, to the Maid, to the Mistress, to the Doll Girl, they formed a perfect chain with no gaps. The usual Villager who knew nothing would surely be enticed by this to say “Oh, if it’s a blank piece of paper, I do have one of those…” and pull out the letter in her pocket.
I only had one chance. To act out, as the uneasy, ignorant Villager… no, as the idiotic Miku who had the role of the Villager, the most natural response…
“I searched as hard as I could too, but… I just couldn’t find it. It’s a little bit depressing… But there’s something I’m curious about… I was wondering, is this letter I have part of the script…?”
“…!”
I slowly produced the letter from my pocket. Their eyes stared with delight. But like hunters reaching for a trapped rabbit, they concealed their true inner joy, putting up expressions of fresh surprise and expectation as if it were the first time game were caught in that trap, then acted slowly and carefully to procure the game without letting it get away.
“I… I didn’t even consider that. Did you have that all along?”
“Yes. I forgot about it, but I’m pretty sure it was always in my pocket…”
I took the folded blank sheet out of the envelope and opened it up to show everyone. They watched me with surprise like they’d never seen it before.
“I saw THAT too, in the HALL! It looked JUST the right SIZE! YAhahaHA!”
“Yes, a PERFECT fit! AhahaHA!”
“There’s nothing on it, huh! Just paper… isn’t it? It looks pretty faded, though…”
“The next page of the script is torn. And rather roughly, so there should surely be irregular tear marks along the inside edge. Indeed, it does seem that the size is just right… But if it’s not the right thing, even attempting to use it as the next page would be dangerous…”
“…! Oh, I see…”
Convinced by Meiko, the Villager complied with her advice, looked down with a bit of despair, and stuffed it back in her pocket like she’d completely lost interest.
Immediately, there was a very slight unrest in the air. “If we take the Villager’s letter, it’ll inevitably lead up to us having to test here and now if it can be used as part of the script or not… That’s also rather dangerous… If we run out the time limit, we won’t need to take it by force, will we?” “We should steal it right now… She still has some unease… Who knows what she’ll do next?” I could see those two viewpoints flying across the room wordlessly.
Not at all noticing this confrontation, the Villager was visibly depressed about her hopeful idea being useless, and while wondering how to ask everyone about what she learned in the library, the Butler spoke to her.
“…Perhaps we should at least give it a try. If only checking whether or not the size is indeed a match.”
The others engaged in a wordless war stared at him in surprise. “Don’t take a risk like that, what are you thinking?”, I could almost hear the Master, Mistress, and Doll Girl scream. Meanwhile, the Lady and Doll Boy kept sending looks that said “Hurry up.” Ignoring the silent blame, the Butler standing by the window picked up the script enshrined on the small table and brought it over to me.
Casually standing up, I rested the wine bottle I was carrying against the back of the armchair, and while placing it carefully to keep it from falling, glanced at the route between myself and the door, confirming the distance. All right, no one there.
“No, hold on. Let’s all take a look at this first…”
The Master strengthened his tone, and with the kind of worried smile one would show to a child not listening to you, came toward me with his long legs. The master of the mansion would never have his expression disturbed and raise his voice over such a minor thing. In hiding his internal worry, his act as the Master was crumbling. Demonstrating no notice of that fact, I took the letter back out of my pocket, and moved my hand to open the envelope. Heavy glances gathered on that hand.
I took it out slowly, bringing it halfway up to show it off tantalizingly. Then…
I slipped it back in and re-sealed the envelope.
In unison, everyone stared in bewilderment, seeming to forget about playing their roles. The time was now - for the Villager to dance out as the lead.
“…No, you’re right. If it’s dangerous, maybe I shouldn’t. Who knows what’ll happen… And I was thinking, the script might have to proceed in the correct way… and this might actually be the End roLL, the last page. If that’s true, we have to find the next page, don’t we? Skipping over it and forcing an ending might not end this play properly… and it’ll disappear…”
“Y-Yes…”
I put the letter in my pocket. The Butler stood in front of me, the script laying in his hands, and just blinked, not grasping the reason behind the Villager’s sudden change of heart. But they opted not to deeply question the thinking behind her surprising act; they were confident they’d achieved victory, and relief swept over the room. No doubts, worries, or unease, just relief and a bit of kindness - a nostalgic mood. And…
“Well, I’ll be taking this, okay?”, the Villager said with a smile.
Before anyone could react, I swept up the script in the Butler’s hands - the script held out right before my eyes without any defenses - with my right hand, spun around, grabbed the bottle resting on the armchair, and dashed for the door. I tackled the door left slightly open without dropping speed, turned right down the hall, and sped toward the stairs. So taken off-guard, the others were unable to react promptly; I heard their footsteps quite a distance behind me.
“Wait! Where are you going?!”
Gack was fast. And he was the closest to me… the nearest to the door. If I slowed down even a little, he’d quickly catch me.
“This is mine! I am the star of the play, after all!”
“Miss Villager, wait! I apologize for unsparingly denying your idea!”
“Sigh… Enough of the act. I know everything! Your plotting… and the person you killed!!”
“?!”
As I reached the corridor and was about to hurry down the stairs, Luka shouted in a way resembling a scream.
“Wait, please! Stop! Calm down! What in the world are you saying?! Gyaaah, dooon’t!”
“I’m the ninth person - someone’s replacement, right?! …She was going to be the lead… But she died, so I became her stand-in! And now you want to kill me to revive her, don’t you?!”
“…?!”
Their voices repeatedly calling to stop me came to a halt. I couldn’t afford to look behind me. Only footsteps racing down the hallways echoed off the large hall’s ceiling, further fostering this air of bloodthirst. My nonstop sprint soon had me panting. Such a huge mansion…
Down on the first floor, I turned left, opened the door to the hallway behind the stairs, and made sure to shut it tight. I ran straight down the long hallway to my right. Slightly afterward, I heard someone opening the door I’d just closed. It’s okay, at this distance… I can get away…!
As soon as I was about to flee to the basement down the spiral stairs behind the Twilight ∞ nighT painting - somehow, Kaito, Rin, and Len were already there waiting for me. I quickly put the brakes on my full-speed legs.
“It’s too bad, Miku,” Rin said, looking like she actually did feel something was unfortunate.
I was sure I’d taken the shortest route from the second floor study to the first floor’s forbidden room. Before coming to the study, I even checked all the passages, and simulated it repeatedly in my head…!
“Remember the forbidden room up above you and I searched? Yes, it too has a Twilight ∞ nighT painting hanging outside it, exactly like this one…”
“Pant… pant… No way…!”, I muttered, breathing heavily. But the others who arrived before me weren’t out of breath at all. Because….!
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