Berserk of Gluttony (LN) - Volume 5 - Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

The Truth About Memil

WE ENTERED LADY AISHA’S ROOM, where I placed her on her bed. Aaron and I were both worried and decided to remain at Hart Manor for a while. About an hour later, Lady Aisha came to.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” she said. “I fear I got a little too excited. When you healed me, you gave me too much energy, Fate.”

She sat up in bed with a bright smile. It seemed she could finally accept that Lord Mason was alive and back. Aaron looked relieved to see it too.

“I’m sure he’ll be shocked to see me in such good health,” said Lady Aisha. “He might even faint as I did.”

Aaron laughed. “Mason was never astounded by anything. Not for as long as I knew him, anyway!”

“Oh, Aaron!”

Aaron’s words reminded me that Lord Mason’s return was quite the shock for the entire Hart family. It wouldn’t be surprising if Lord Mason felt more astonished than anyone else. Even if he was, he had only displayed concern for Roxy when he came in through the southern gate. It was amazing to consider that he had gone through an experience that surpassed our understanding of the world and yet hadn’t shown an ounce of surprise. He was made of different stuff than young holy knights like myself, that much I felt acutely.

Once Aaron had made sure that Lady Aisha was fine, he headed toward the door.

“Fate, it’s time for us to go. Aisha, give Mason my regards upon his return.”

“There’s no need to leave yet, Aaron,” said Lady Aisha. “You are most welcome to stay.”

“No, we can’t. I would not want to interrupt such an important family reunion. I’ll be back to visit in a few days.”

“I see… Thank you for your kindness, Aaron.”

“Think nothing of it. Fate, let’s go.”

“Yes, Aaron.”

A family reunion. The thought made me envious. My own father had died of illness while I was still young. As for my mother, she had died soon after giving birth to me. 

Perhaps the miracle that brought Lord Mason back also brought my parents back, I thought, but I was certain it wasn’t to be. It was better for me to let go of such silly fantasies. Besides, I had my own family now: Aaron, Memil, and even Sahara. She felt like a sister to me even though she was only a maid of the household. I’d never imagined I would be a part of such a family.

Even so, there’s a part of me that…

“Fate.” Aaron put a hand on my shoulder. “We’re leaving.” 

He paused as if he had something more to say, but it remained unsaid as he left Lady Aisha’s room.

“Wait for me, Aaron!” I cried. “Lady Aisha, I’ll see you again soon!”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” she said.

I ran after Aaron, past Haru, and I heard voices chattering excitedly in the corridor. It made me glad to think that everyone was looking forward to Lord Mason’s arrival.

I caught up to Aaron and the two of us walked side by side. For a time, he said nothing. Then he stopped in place suddenly and looked directly at me.

“Fate,” he said. “What are you planning?”

He’d seen right through me.

“Recently you haven’t been yourself,” he continued. “Occasionally I catch you with a far-off look, lost in your thoughts. Thoughts of something far from here.”

“I…” I looked at Aaron, his brow knitted in worry. I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Is it about Myne?” he asked. “I’m worried too, but…”

I said nothing.

“As I suspected,” Aaron said. “You’re…you’re going to leave us.”

“Not yet,” I said. “But when I find out where she is, I’m going to find her.”

“I see. Have you told Roxy yet?”

“I have not.”

Aaron rubbed his forehead, unable to disguise the worry in his eyes. “I understand. But when the time comes for you to leave, you will tell me. I want to make sure we send you off with a fitting celebration. Am I understood?”

“I understand.”

With that said, Aaron went to Barbatos Manor to check on Memil. I knew he still had more he wanted to say. Aaron had adopted me as his own son and given me the freedom to do whatever I wanted as the head of the Barbatos family. It wouldn’t be right for me to leave without telling him. The least I could do to repay his kindness was to not break my promises.

I decided to have a quick word with Roxy before leaving the manor. It didn’t take long to find her, but she was still in conversation with some of the manor staff. Just like Lady Aisha, they were stunned by the news. The disbelief was clear on their faces. Despite this, Roxy continued to patiently explain the situation.

I waited in a corner for her to finish, but realized it was going to take some time. I wasn’t a member of the family or its staff, and I didn’t want to cause any difficulties for Roxy as she explained things. As I started to leave, Roxy noticed me and gave me an inquisitive look. I waved my hand slightly in reply. It was our way of agreeing we’d see each other tomorrow.

Even after she finished informing the staff, there would still be so much more for Roxy to do. They would have to celebrate Lord Mason’s return. I recalled the party Roxy had held upon her return from Galia. It had been quite the celebration. Any celebration for Lord Mason would need to be at least as grand. The Barbatos family would also have to ensure that a suitable gift was readied to celebrate his return. 

It was strange to be wrapped up in feelings of both joy and uncertainty. I left Hart Manor, but I did not go to Barbatos Manor. Instead, I went to the Military District. I wanted to talk to Laine about what was happening. She had provided immeasurable help when Roxy and I swapped bodies.

The Holy Knight District bustled with nervous energy. It seemed that news of Lord Mason’s return—and that of the soldiers who served under him—was spreading. As I navigated through the crowds of people, I found my eyes drawn to a graveyard just by the side of the gate into the Military District. I could have kept walking, but it had been a few months since the incident with Rafale, and the confusion in my heart was finally beginning to clear.

I entered the graveyard. It was not a resting place for fallen holy knights. Instead, it was a graveyard for those who worked for the holy knights—the final repose for those who dedicated their lives to serving the kingdom’s most powerful. Because many holy knights abused their positions of power, there was no small number of servants who were killed by their masters. This graveyard was a place to dispose of those bodies without any inconvenient questions.

According to Roxy, this was why the Hart family servants were never buried here. Instead, they were laid to rest on the grounds of the Hart family estate.

“What’s on your mind?” said Greed, noticing my detour. “What are we doing in a place like this?”

“I just thought I’d come to…check up on him.”

“Ah…I see.”

The graves stood quiet and unmoving. I stood before the newest addition to the graveyard and placed a hand upon the cold stone.

“Are you at rest now, Rafale?” I asked.

I felt something like my Gluttony writhing within me. It had devoured his soul, which meant that some remnant of Rafale lived on inside of me. It was not as distinct a presence as Luna’s, but beneath the spiritual plane she’d created, Rafale’s soul drifted with all the others who had died by my hands. Perhaps this was why, when I said Rafale’s name, I felt his agonized soul trapped in the hellscape inside of me…or at least imagined something very much like that.

It was true that Rafale had ruthlessly attempted to destroy the entire kingdom, but his wish had been grounded in a perverse desire for vengeance. In losing his mother, the one person in the world he’d thought of as his ally, some part of Rafale’s mind had shattered. That much was clear in the diaries he’d left behind. He could not save his mother—one of the forsaken—and with each passing day, his hatred for the kingdom grew. He, too, despised the skill-centric oligarchy of this kingdom. 

But even then, what Rafale was trying to do, it was…

“It was unforgivable.”

The words were spoken as though they came from my own heart. But I knew the owner of the devilish voice that spoke the words. 

“Memil,” I said, not needing to turn to look at her. “How do you feel?”

“Thanks to you, I’m doing well. But I must admit that I didn’t expect to see you in this place.”

Memil took a few steps forward and stood beside me. She held a bouquet of flowers, a sympathetic expression on her face. Judging by the well-kept condition of the grave, she visited regularly. Memil had suffered excruciating torments as part of Rafale’s experiments, yet she seemed to harbor no grudge against him.

Here, Memil told me what had sent Rafale down his twisted path. She had previously been questioned by the castle soldiers, so I knew the general details, but I’d never imagined that Memil would tell me herself. There were very few people in this world who wanted to revisit their most traumatic memories.

“When Rafale took me to the mountain city of Tenburn, we found something buried within,” she said.

“The nightwalker source?”

“Yes. It was a red stone, no larger than the palm of your hand.”

“Apparently Shin dispersed those stones across the world. It was a final insurance, easing his return.”

“They called it a Philosopher’s Stone. In the beginning, we discovered it could be used to heal any kind of injury or sickness. I remember the excitement of the Vlerick family researchers, since healing magic doesn’t exist.”

If it were just a stone, I bet that would have been the end of the story, I thought. I bet none of those researchers ever imagined that the stone was alive…

“It was then that Rafale started saying the oddest things,” Memil continued. “He said that the stone whispered to him with a strange voice… I didn’t think too much of it at the time.”

“So even as a stone, he still retained a certain amount of consciousness… Shin probably promised Rafale everything he ever wanted. At least, that’s the impression I got when I met Shin myself.”

After all, Shin had convinced Myne to follow him because he knew how to make use of the Door. It would have been all too easy for Shin to talk his way into Rafale’s good graces; Rafale hadn’t had any distractions and so had been the perfect instrument for Shin’s plans. He’d harbored a deep hatred for the way the kingdom was run and been in a position of great power as the head of the Vlerick family. If he had known of the Domain of E, a power that surpassed the Divine Dragon… I shuddered at the thought. 

Aaron’s words echoed in my head with an inexorable gravity. Great power comes with the burden of even greater responsibility. In that moment, I knew I had to finally settle things with Memil. I could delay it no longer.

“I’m sorry that I killed Rafale, and that I killed Hado too,” I said. “But back then, I—”

“I told you once before, Fate. You had no choice. Rafale was plotting to overthrow the kingdom, and Hado did unspeakable things to the forsaken of the kingdom. Besides, I too was responsible for some of the horrible treatment you received…” 

“I can’t pretend like those things didn’t happen. But still, I’m glad you decided to join the Barbatos family.”

I smiled at Memil, but I wondered if she understood my meaning. I felt and probably looked very awkward. Memil nodded and placed the bouquet of beautiful white flowers in front of Rafale’s grave. She rose to her feet and turned toward me.

“I’ve heard that Hausen has started a lot of new projects,” she said. “I hope they go well.”

“Everybody is giving it everything they’ve got. It won’t be long before they don’t even need me to protect them.”

“But you must, Fate. I’m sure there is still much you can do to help them.”

“Memil…”

“That’s why I’ve made up my mind. Rafale is inside of you, my lord. Even now, he sees what you see. So I want you to show him, and me, that there is always another path. Another way.”

“Memil…thank you.”

For a time, we stood before Rafale’s grave, silent. I would come back again in the future. As I walked away from the grave, Memil spoke.

“You must tell her, my lord. There’s so much Lady Roxy will never know if you don’t. I know your condition as if it were my own because I imbibe your blood, but she’s different. I know she’s an important person to you, so you must tell her.”

“Yes…you’re right.”

“I’ve watched you, my lord, ever since you were a gatekeeper for the Vlerick family. She was important to you. We regarded it as a weakness to exploit.”

I laughed. “You almost cracked my skull in half, you know.”

“I’m so sorry about what we did back then. Then again, if you’re into that sort of thing, please let me know. I will happily do it again!”

“If I ever decide that’s what I want from life, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

Memil giggled. “I’m looking forward to it.”

It was so strange to think that as we grew closer, my once-painful memories transformed into experiences we could laugh about—just as Aaron had predicted back when he told me that Memil was to join our family. I finally felt like I understood his meaning. 

Similarly, there was still time to fix things with Myne. Even if the Door to Distant Lands was something she could not let go of.