Cold Sands - Chapter 24

XXIV Foretoken


 

The two people in front of me both have their heads down, looking tense as though they were facing their deaths.

Impatiently, I tap my tea cup. “I didn’t call you here to see your constipated faces.”

Song Ruoming looks up cautiously as he fidgets with his cup. “Your–”

In the blink of an eye, I slap my hand over his mouth, shoving back the ‘Majesty’ that would have followed.

I shoot him a dirty look. “Do you want everyone to know my identity?”

“Then…” Pei Yuan starts talking after much hesitation, “Then what should we call You?”

I pucker my lips as I consider the options only to wave my hand carelessly in the end. “Just call me whatever you used to call me.”

The two of them share a look and then turn to me, exclaiming at the same time, “Absolutely not!”

The next moment Song Ruoming regains the solemn, unwavering look he has in court. “You are…so we must follow the formalities.”

I spew out the tea I had in my mouth and cough, back bent over.

What can I say about this bastard? He’s been hell bent on using the formal ways of reference between ruler and subject between us since I ascended the throne, as if we have never been the best of friends. He wouldn’t budge no matter how much I disagree with it. But then again, could emperors even have friends?

I’m silent while I mull it over.

“Suit yourselves. I won’t waste my breath on this issue. I wanted to discuss some things with you today.”

The two nod and I begin as I run my finger on my cup, “It’s a critical time right now. To fight or to leave—no conclusions have been made yet after all this back-and-forth in the court. I want to know just how many people support the relocation.”

Pei Yuan answers seriously, “The Golden Guardians may be sons of the rich but they are all hot-blooded men who wish to stay and defend their country to the death as much as I do.”

I feel a spark of hope but I keep a straight face. “Even if that’s the case, you’re only a lieutenant general. You still have to follow the guardian general’s orders.”

Pei Yuan falters and then sighs, “You are certainly right. The guardian general is Minister Xie’s nephew. Well, what can I do—he is of higher rank than me.”

I scoff, “The empress dowager sure plans ahead.”

“Even if she does plan ahead,” Song Ruoming joins in. “She cannot possibly predict the human variable.” His brows scrunch up. “The new emperor is what the people look forward to, yet she, a woman, is still sitting in during courts. Blasphemy, I say!”

My mind has already gone through countless ideas by the time he finishes.

The empress dowager has been sitting behind the curtains during courts after the ascension of the new emperor. This has already raised much discontent amidst the nobles and the jinshi. A blizzard of memorials has been sent, all asking for the empress dowager to leave the government. Furthermore, the martial class have been subject to oppression and to them this new emperor could be considered a military man as well. I could dictate them solely because of that.

I smirk to myself. Master Liao was right: I have plenty at hand for me to use. It just depends on how I use it.

Actually, now that I think about it, no matter how powerful or menacing she may be, she is still a woman. She cannot be in the forefront. Also, the battle for power stays within the confines of the royal city so one well-planned operation is all it would take for me to get everything back.

I just need one key component for the sine qua non and initiation of it all, and I already have a rough picture by now.

After drinking all of my tea, I shoot up from my seat, startling Song Ruoming and Pei Yuan. I take a glance at their confused faces and explain, “We’ll leave it here today.” Then I push the curtains out of the way and leave the inner room.

Liu An and Wang Shu look up from their Go game with a fright. I stride into the room and they follow me.

I signal for Song Ruoming and Pei Yuan to leave first. They can’t perform the proper rituals so they leave as well-mannered as possible. After making Liu An wait outside, I fall back on the ta and enjoy some peace and quiet for the first time in a while.

I’ve slowly gotten used to being alone since I ascended the throne. Luckily, it wasn’t too hard because I had been alone before, too. But with the heavy melancholy in my heart, I would still feel that the entire palace is unusually cold. Especially at night time, the flickering candlelight makes it appear even more desolate and deserted.

I let out a soft sigh. With my eyes closed, I feel someone sit down beside me and their icy cold fingertips touching my face. I open my eyes to see Wang Shu looking at me with a pained expression.

Not sure what to say, I joke, “What? I thought I just saw you the other day?”

Wang Shu doesn’t know that the new emperor is me and I don’t want her to find out either. The royal palace is already enough for me to worry about. I don’t want to lose this place too.

“You’ve gotten thinner,” she mutters. “I just don’t get it, why you….”

I flash a smile. “You, too.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again.” She nervously nibbles on her lips. “A few sisters and I are going to go to the palace in a few days.” She shudders violently and I place my hand on hers.

“You don’t want to?”

Her eyes redden. “Who knows what’ll happen next in this chaos right now?” she says as she wipes her eyes. “The new emperor is the same—nothing has changed in the capital.”

Silently, I sigh and turn away, unable to bear looking at her.

The new emperor hasn’t been able to stabilise the current situation. The gentry and officials are divided and the people are losing faith because no one knows if we are to fight or submit. Just on my way here alone I’ve witnessed too much of the capital’s disorder.

Battles are plaguing the north and after the County of Ning Yuan fell, a large number of refugees came flooding south. Homeless, the young and healthy can still manage to feed themselves but the old, weak, widowed and disabled can only afford to lie by the side of the road and await their fates. The rich have taken the opportunity to hold on to their grains and raise the price for food. Many husbands have taken their wives and children to leave the trouble behind. Even the residents of the capital are at a loss, let alone the refugees. The stories of the cruelty and ruthlessness of the Yan army are spreading at an incredible speed.

There is a seemingly continuous crowd of people leaving. Those who could leave have already left with their families packed up. They head in an unfamiliar direction only for some hope of living on.

Every morning, Xie Yun would kneel there declaring that the relocation should not be delayed any further in order to protect the establishment. The empress dowager would remain quiet behind the curtains so everyone looks at me to see what I decide.

The more I think about it the angrier I get. I sit up abruptly, frightening her. I sigh and push back the feathery, black locks by her ear. “It’s getting late. I have to go.”

Wang Shu watches me with big, teary eyes. I don’t speak anymore as I let go of her hand and leave the room.

I chose to meet them at Jade House to evade the eyes and ears working for the empress dowager. The place is packed with patrons and workers coming back and forth. The scent of cosmetics and perfumes make their way into every crevice. Red candles burn bright. The men who have come seeking pleasure all have on an intoxicated smile while the girls return theirs with a coy, alluring one.

The darkness has started to set in. The paved limestone road is nestled with dirt-plastered refugees, their clothes tattered and hair unkempt. They look straight ahead blankly and when someone walks somewhat in their direction, they reach out with all their efforts in hopes of receiving some generosity. I feel sorry for them and motion for Liu An to give them some money. He approaches them but the refugees rush forth and start fighting before he even gets the money out.

Saving one is easy but saving all is a task of much difficulty.

I return to the royal city in a bit of a daze. Just as I hop off the horse, an attendant walks over and tells me quietly and respectfully, “The empress dowager wishes to see You, Your Majesty.”

I give a mocking laugh as I step in Yong An Palace. The maids and eunuchs quickly leave. I walk over casually to the empress dowager who is dressed in expensive silks. She has her head resting on her hand as she relaxes on the ta. I take my seat and ask leisurely, “What did Your Graciousness wish to see me for?”

Lazily, she blinks open her eyes. “Your Majesty left the palace today?”

I nod. “Yes. The palace proves too tiresome, so I went for a quick stroll.” Then I chuckle. “Igreatly appreciate Your care for me in addition to all the help in governing the country.”

She slowly sits herself up, seemingly oblivious to my sarcastic tone. “I heard Your Majesty went to Jade House.”

I crack a thin smile for an answer. As expected, she has eyes on my every little move.

“I understand that You have had a frivolous past. However, You are now the emperor. I implore You to not give in to Your sensual pleasures.” She straightens her sleeves. “If it is women You are after, the ones in the palace should be more than enough.”

I repent with my head lowered. “You speak wisdom, Your Graciousness. I shall change for the better.”

Her eyes snap open. The hollows under her eyes are carved in deep, making her look fatigued as though the palace has been syphoning off of her life force.

“The mayor reported several days ago,” I start, “that a large number of refugees have entered the city. What I witnessed today was also as such. I am afraid we must deal with this before it is too late.”

“What does Your Majesty have in mind?”

“According to policies, current state facilities should take refugees in and distribute rations. However,” I pause purposefully, glimpsing at her. “The number is too high this time. I fear that the current facilities would not be sufficient.”

“So You are saying…?” The darkness enshrouds her old, smiling face.

“In my opinion, we should set up an aids and relief office with specially appointed individuals in charge of distributing water, food and medicine, as well as taking in the old and young.” I watch her quietly with a smile. “What does Your Graciousness think?”

She turns to me, saying, “That is more than necessary, don’t You think, Your Majesty?”

I understand what she means with little effort. She supports the relocation while I’m doing my best to stall, to wait for the perfect chance for me to clear the playing field. In her opinion, if we are going to relocate then setting up relief aid would just be a waste of resources and naturally be ‘more than necessary.’

I think upon it in my head before looking back up. “I understand Your concerns but if we are to stand by and do naught, we will lose the people’s faith sooner or later. And if that happens, then Iam afraid the relocation….”

Her figure shudders. She glares at me warily and inquisitively. Fearless, I steadily smile back at her. She puckers her lips as though to speak but I remind softly, “One should not overdo things, Your Graciousness.”

She seems to lose her focus for a moment before turning away from me.

I continue quietly after getting up and performing the rituals, “If the empress dowager does not object to it, then I shall make an edict for the creation of the aids and relief office. The people shall be grateful for Your generosity, Your Graciousness.

When I reach the door, I take one last glance back at the old woman curled in her throne. She’s sitting in the dark and appears to be shivering, possibly from the cold or perhaps from something else.

♚♔

The next day, I issue a royal edict:

The empress dowager would like to show her gracious condolences to the refugees by establishing aids and relief offices in eight locations in the city and five along the state road heading south to the capital. Water, food and medicine will be distributed and seniors, women, children and the sick will be taken into care.

I take extra care in choosing officials for the job, picking thirteen low-ranking civil officials from the list the Ministry of Personnel gave me, assigning one to each location.

They kneel before me with their heads on the ground as I instruct slowly, “It is not a major position, but one that comes with much responsibility, nonetheless. I hope you do not disappoint.”

“We shall act in absolute accordance to Your holy edict.”

“A bright future awaits you if you perform well.”

“Yes, Your Wise Majesty!”

These thirteen people all entered politics through the imperial examination process, but they haven’t been able to achieve much due to oppression from the nobles and the rich. The mission I gave them today is more or less a gesture to other civil officials.

Unfortunately, it is all I can do for now.

They leave swiftly under Liu An’s lead and I let out a small breath of relief. I hear a shuffling sound and Master Liao paces out from behind the curtain. He is no longer the private tutor for the Minister’s house—more like an imperial tutor. I gave him the position of Just Counsellor of the Privy Council. He does not hold any true power; it’s just a position that directly serves the emperor.

Master Liao told me everything the other day. He was Father’s strategist who was never known to the world. He created the Eidolons—similar to the Wraiths. After Father’s defeat, he sneaked his way into the capital, tracked me down using limited contacts and became a tutor in the mansion.

He sits down beside me. I sprawl out on the table and look at him at an angle, sighing. “I’m exhausted.”

“Your Majesty, do You plan to keep the relocation on hold?”

I flip my head to the other direction so I don’t see him. “Of course not. I’m just waiting.”

He remarks softly, “The war does not wait.”

I snatch a memorial in my hand, waving it at him. “This is an urgent report from Xu Zheng over at South Hill Pass.” I pick a few more up. “These are from those old farts going on and on about leaving.”

“And what do You–”

“I’ve said it a billion times: I’m not going!” Furious, I fling all of them away.

“Then You must bring forth ways to deal with it.”

I close my eyes halfway. Ways, ways, ways—there isn’t a day when I am not racking my brains to find some.

Seeing my silence, Master Liao keeps going. “The Yan are closing in on us. Your Majesty should make a decision sooner than later whether to defend or abandon South Hill Pass.”

I understand that what is holding Heng Ziyu and I together is a weak bond of trust. The only reason I could strike a deal with him is because of the lives of the twenty thousand soldiers at South Hill Pass. If anything happened there, the two of us would quickly be at sword’s point.

No wonder they say it’s hard being an emperor. It’s fatiguing both physically and mentally—it’d be surprising if they led long lives.

I fidget with my sleeves. The imperial regalia is golden yellow with gold embroidery, yet it is cold to the touch.

“If Your Majesty has an idea, then please make the decision as soon as possible,” he continues very sternly.

It’s not that I do not have any ideas or that it’s impossible, but I still can’t take that step. Because once it is initiated, there will be bloodshed and wholesale slaughter with no end.

“The more You hesitate now, the more the men at the frontiers will suffer. Under such urgent times, are You going to–”

“Enough!” I roar as I snap back up. Master Liao immediately stops while keeping a solemn expression. I pant a few times to catch my breath as I brood, my arms propped on the table.

Currently, everyone and everything is pushing me into a dead end.

My hesitation won’t buy me any more time. I have two choices before me: relocate or fight. If I want to fight, then the most urgent thing is taking back power!

Master Liao kneels down, unsmiling. “Your Majesty, the Eidolons are ready. We just need that spark to set it all in motion!”

♚♔

In the great hall spreads a looming darkness. The candle flames shake profusely in the vast, empty space, nearly going out several times. I’m dressed in my court uniform and sitting on my throne. My shadow casts on the wall behind me and dances vigorously like the candle flames. 

Finally. Finally.

The doors of the hall swing open with a creak and I hear someone enter. I look up a little to see Liu An bowing. “Your Majesty, General Pei Sr. and Guardian Lieutenant General have arrived.”

I close my eyes again. “Summon them.”

Pei Yuan and his father, General Pei, pace in and kneel down before me. I give a light nod and say, “Please rise.”

They thank my favour and get up, standing silently in place. 

I regard them without a word. Pei Yuan is currently the lieutenant general of the Golden Guardians and the person directly below the guardian general, while his father, General Pei, is also an influential person in the martial field of Rui.

I start nonchalantly, “I recall that you, General Pei, have wanted to fight to regain our national pride.”

His head snaps up. “Your Majesty?!”

I remain emotionless. “I wish to do the same, to recover our dignity.”

He starts shuddering violently and plunks back down on his knees to the cold, solid tiles. “Your Majesty…” he sobs.

“But it all depends on whether General Pei will assist me or not.” I smile as I rest my head in my right hand.

Not knowing what to do, Pei Yuan kneels down too, watching me dumbly. 

“I have an opportunity for you two to contribute to the country,” I explain calmly.

They stare back at me blankly, as though they haven’t heard me correctly.

“I saw you, General Pei, when I was young. You had always protected our country and our home. Time is the best proof of Your loyalty. You once told me, after decades of serving in the army, You only wished you were born in the same era as Emperor Shun. You wished to have been there to found the empire because there was no opportunity to leave a name for yourself.” I clear my throat quietly and gaze at them. “And now, such an opportunity lies before You.”

He’s shaking all over, jerking his graying hair along with it. “Wh-what is it that Y-Your Majesty wishes for us to do?”

Very good.

I smile albeit sternly. “You might not personally command troops anymore but the twenty five thousand Imperial Yu-Lin Guards stationed by the Han River were all brought up by You. I believe they are faithful to You.”

His eyes sparkle as though he has reached a realisation. “They are to defend the capital with. We shouldn’t deploy them so easily, Your-.”

I turn slightly to place my left arm on the table. I look down at them. “The situation of the capital is dire right now. Are You going to wait until the Yan have broken through our walls before deploying the Yu-Lin Guards?”

Hurriedly, he bows his head. “I dare not. It is just that Minister Xie’s permission must be obtained for the deployment of the Yu-Lin Guards.”

I scoff. “Minister Xie is the backbone of the state yet he fears battle. Are You, the heroic General Pei, going to stand by and watch our country fall into despair and our people into danger?” I slam my hand on the table and roar, “How will You face Emperor Shun when You leave this life? How will You face the Pei ancestors?!”

He watches me, shocked, but the next moment his eyes clear up. He knocks his forehead against the ground. “I beg Your forgiveness. This old man was not thinking straight. Please give Your orders, Your Majesty, whatever it is You wish. I may be old but I can still ride a horse and nock an arrow!”

Slowly, I stand up as I stare at Pei Yuan. “And you?”

It appears that he has been stirred up by our talk. His face is flushed and his voice husky. “What are Your commands, Your Majesty? I shall serve You to the death!”

I take my time to answer with a kind smile. “The Golden Guardians are the backbone of Great Rui and naturally, cannot bear the indignities of an outside clan ruling the country.” I gradually raise my voice. “Pei Yuan, are you willing to take the place of Guardian General?”

Pei Yuan is twenty four years old. A man his age would want to achieve something and leave a name for himself, so the position of Guardian General is the most alluring bait.

He has his head lowered, seemingly contemplating. I don’t rush him either and the hall falls silent save for the inhales and exhales.

When he finally lifts his head up, there is a serious expression on his face. “I am, Your Majesty!”

I chuckle. “Good, as expected from a military family!”

They lower themselves to the floor. I drop my smile and state sternly, “You must recognize that you might not return from this.”

Their figures remain stiff, their heads lowered. “We have decided and we have no regrets.”

“If I do not succeed you will lose your heads!”

They remain quiet for a moment before squeezing through clenched teeth, “Your orders, please!”

General Pei wants to fight for national pride and erase the indignities Great Rui has suffered with blood, while Pei Yuan wants to advance in the ranks and contribute to the empire. I give them what they want and they obey my commands. This is our pact and also my promise to them.

At the top of the empire, I need even more power and even more people on my side. Not only Master Liao, not only Heng Ziyu, not only the Eidolons… In my current position, the only way I can stay unscathed in the center of the whirlpool of power is by tightly controlling my own power.

Tonight’s affair is a fair trade just like the one between Heng Ziyu and me. They will become pawns under my command and I will give them what they desire. Perhaps, this is the art of being an emperor: using everything usable amidst the chaos to secure oneself and annihilate one’s enemies.

♚♔

The moonlight seeps through the window and meanders along the ground, illuminating and dimming the inside of the hall, while the brisk wind gushes in from outside.

I exhale deeply as I sit in the dark with my eyes closed.

It’s so quiet…

“Your command, Your Majesty?” Master Liao’s voice comes from my side.

I keep my gaze down and ask after a pause, “Which watch is it now?”

“In answer to Your Majesty, the Hour of the Rat has just passed; it is the Hour of the Ox now.”

I look up slightly and wave at him. “Just a bit longer.”

Every night, the Golden Guardians split into three groups of a hundred men each and take four hour shifts. The officials enter the palace for the morning court at the fifth watch, or the Hour of the Rabbit. The Guardian General also comes at this time to inspect security.

The more the merrier—and the more likely I will succeed.

“How are things with the Eidolons?”

“In reply to Your Majesty, fifteen of the top Eidolons have been gathered. Your order is all they are waiting for.”

“And I can count on them?”

“Rest assured, Your Majesty. These are all faithful followers of the duke. Not even the best palace guards can compare and they are even more loyal to you. Even if it does not go according to plan, You will not be affected.”

I smile wryly as a thick sorrow wells up from my chest and suffocates me. 

The guardian general, Xie Yun’s nephew, is in charge of the entire Golden Guardian force. And he is the first person I must eliminate.

I take a deep breath to soothe the unease.

I used to be close acquaintances with him when I served in the Guardians. He was part of our drinking parties and scuffles in the streets, but now I must end him.

Perhaps, there are no friends, no family in the eyes of an emperor, only deceitful calculations.

Melancholy stirs in my heart but vanishes the next moment.

There is never an absence of blood in a political war. No one can reach the top without climbing over dead bodies. This is my fate and if I cannot rid myself of it then I shall keep my head up and proceed to face it with pride and determination.

In my veins flow not only the dignity and virtue of royalty but also the cruelty and objectivity of a mandarin. The dignity and virtue do not allow me to become someone’s puppet; the cruelty and objectivity force me to take back the power that belongs to me.

I am gambling with my life as the chip.

The evening wind sweeps past, blowing my sleeves into the air.

I tilt my head back, mumbling, “Ancestors of Lin, please watch me from the heavens, whether it be victory or failure.”

The sound of the water clock resonates from afar, every drop knocking into my heart. I just sit there in the darkness for four hours and bear every minute of the passing time. Millions of thoughts race through my mind but it’s as though my mind is empty at the same time.

A figure suddenly materializes in front of my mind’s eye and gradually turns around and it’s…it’s Murong Yu.

I crack a pitiful smile and it becomes a laugh.

We won’t have to meet again if I die. We can just exist in each other’s hearts. But if I live to stand at the top of this empire then…then we are really going to clash swords.

Sweet and bitter interweave in my heart, forming a conflicting feeling. A sour emotion wells up from within and then transforms into a thousand icicles, stabbing into my veins, the pain so strong I can’t even catch my breath. My nose stings and tears wet my lashes.

Is this… Is this my fate too?

With his face in my mind, I can no longer restrain the painful tears. They slide down my face and drip onto the regalia, disappearing in the blink of an eye as if they never existed. All I feel is a devastating and chilling loneliness surging towards me to bury me. 

I hear a clear, long chime of the clock in the distance. It’s the signal of daybreak. I open my eyes and see that the sky has begun to whiten.

Abruptly, I stand up, straightening my regalia, and roar to the men behind me without looking back.

“Move out!”