Cruel Romance - Chapter 4.5

Athough she was humiliated by Ming Zhu then and chased out, Jin Xiu had never truly blamed her. Just as how she explained to Xiang Ying Dong, Ming Zhu was chased out at only twelve years old and thrown onto the streets, she had faced so much turmoil and difficulties, paying a huge price for what she achieved today, so what would outsiders know? She had the right and reason for hating the Rong family, she was not to be blamed.

Jin Xiu didn’t go over and greet her, in fact she tried to hide from her among the crowds. Feeling a little awkward, she didn’t know what kind of position or attitude she should use to counter Ming Zhu’s coldness. Since obviously, Ming Zhu did not want to see her, much less admit to their relationship.

As for Xiang Han Chuan, Xiang Ying Dong and Zuo Zhen, accompanied the French consul, Duke Ferdinand and his wife in. The guests in attendance took the initiative and parted on both sides, leaving a walkway for them to pass through, clapping and cheering as they did.

The reputable figures of Shanghai, certainly had the ability to move hearts. Xiang Han Chuan’s nobility and steadiness, Xiang Ying Dong’s suaveness and Zuo Zhen’s looks and calmness, their radiance and charm complemented each other.

Jin Xiu hid among the crowds and secretly smiled, looking at how Ying Shao shone brightly as he mingled among the guests, her heart brimmed with joy. Today was the first time that she saw Ying Shao’s big brother Xiang Han Chuan, after constantly hearing Ying Shao and Zuo Zhen bring him up, now that she had seen him, she finally knew what magnanimity and grace meant. His skin tone was slightly dark, with features similar to Ying Shao’s, naturally he was good looking, but his presence shone from within and in terms of appearances, he was not as eye-catching as Ying Shao. But even though the bright and enthralling Ming Zhu stood beside him, she was not able to detract attention from him.

The banquet began on a very solemn note, but it livened up later on. Jin Xiu didn’t really know anyone, Ying Shao and Zuo Zhen were busy entertaining guests, so she felt a little bored. Today was a banquet for the upper crust, many men had brought along their partners, so those that were really here to dance and find entertainment were few and far between.

Holding a plate of food, she walked towards the flower hall outside.

Not far away a group of women sat on the long sofa that was meant for resting, draped in jewels, and were at that moment comparing whose clothes’ were the latest, whose ring was the best quality.

“Mrs Wang, this ring of yours, isn’t it from Bao Lin Tang on Xia Fei road?” a slim woman, grasped onto her hand not letting it go. “I saw it there last month, it was so expensive.”

Mrs Wang smiled modestly, “For sure, didn’t like it much after buying it, things like these, it’s all about novelty.” It seemed to be true, for on both her hands, there were about five to six rings in all.

The other woman sighed enviously, “Ah, Boss Wang is so generous, you’re so lucky, Mrs Wang.”

Someone at the side interrupted, “Didn’t you all see that diamond necklace that Yin Ming Zhu had on? That was a masterpiece that was auctioned off during the British auction, without eighty to a hundred thousand in the bank, don’t even think about it.”

“Ah!” a sudden wave of surprised sighs. “Really? In this world, it really helps if a woman is beautiful.” “What right does she have to wear that?” “Precisely, this kind of woman has no shame, after grabbing hold onto a rich man, she wringing him dry with all her might.” “Sometimes, that kind of shameful status, makes it easier to throw aside shame to ask for money, what she wears or owns, are more glamorous and ostentatious that what we proper wives have.”

Sometime added oil to fire as she made the conclusion, “No matter how you put it, someone who has sold herself before, cannot be brought into the open. No matter how beautiful or seductive, isn’t she still kept by Mr Xiang outside, who said that Mr Xiang will marry her? After playing her for two years and getting sick of her, wouldn’t him simply kick her aside?”

Jin Xiu clutched on tightly to the plate in anger.

What are they saying! Just because Ming Zhu is beautiful and wearing a necklace more expensive that what they own, they can simply toss such unbridled humiliation upon her? In front of Ming Zhu, they probably won’t even dare to say a word, smiling oh so sweetly, but behind her back, spitting out such ugly words, does it make them feel better to do so?

“True, a woman who can’t be brought into the open, has been taken by Mr Xiang to grace such a grand event, and even giving her such an expensive jewellery, spoiling her immensely, ah, truly, no wonder it leaves others jealous.” Jin Xiu held her anger in, coldly interrupting. Other people might not want to get involved and pretend to not have heard, but she couldn’t, Ming Zhu was family.

“What nonsense are you saying?” Mrs Wang couldn’t restrain herself and blew up, “Who’s jealous? Our conscience is clear, marrying into the family openly, jealous of someone who is just a mistress and can’t marry into the family?”

“Oh, really?” Jin Xiu smiled coldly, “Don’t know who that “someone” is? There are so many young girls in Shanghai would like to carry shoes for this “someone” but not even be eligible to: if some people were ten times younger, ten times prettier, they might qualify to go over and compete.”

The group of women starting scolding, “Where did this tramp come from, look at how foxy she is, must be same as that woman, as if she is any better?”

“She doesn’t seem familiar, must be working at Bai Le Men serving men.” “Worry about yourself, so cheap, still coming out to speak for others.”

Jin Xiu snorted, “Is Bai Le Men such a taboo? But then again, your own husbands visit Bai Le Men daily for entertainment, you wives are ignored at home, that’s quite pitiful too. If you have the ability, tie your men up well or it’s just sour grapes, taking your unhappiness out of Yin Ming Zhu.” She used to be a peaceful timid person, in crowds she felt uncomfortable even speaking out loudly. But for some reason, faced with such a situation, her anger overwhelmed her, what respect and upbringing, if she didn’t speak up for Ming Zhu, she didn’t deserve to be called Rong Jin Xiu!

The women opposite burst into an angry commotion.

Jin Xiu lifted her head with abandon, put down the plate and slowly walked away. These women looked proper on the surface but were completely rotten on the inside, it was time that someone taught them a lesson.

But the moment she lifted up the thick silk curtains, Jin Xiu got a shock.

Yin Ming Zhu was standing outside, holding a cup of wine, with a smile that was barely there, as though she had heard everything, yet as though she didn’t.

“Ming Zhu…” Jin Xiu breathed with worry, not knowing what to say.

“I heard from Zuo Zhen, you’re working here.” Ming Zhu smiled modestly, “Are you used to it?”

Jin Xiu blushed uncontrollably, “Where is there to be used this, it’s not bad that I can earn a living to feed myself, I don’t have the right to be so picky.”Ming Zhu nodded, “You’re right, that’s how I survived then.”

Jin Xiu was quiet for a while, and words suddenly burst from her, “Since it’s over, let’s forget about the past!”

“Forget?” Ming Zhu coldly raised her brow, “I would like to forget too but someone keeps reminding me, reminding me of how desolate and miserable I was then.” That meant, she heard the ruckus just now? So her attitude was somewhat warmer?

“They remind me, to sink into desperation selling my smiles and body that long ago past, as for you, Rong Jin Xiu, you remind me of how I brought my ill mother along with me when we were chased out, desperate and impoverished.” Ming Zhu looked at her, “How can I forget?” Jin Xiu was stunned. Her appearance, to Ming Zhu, was just a reminder of her painful past.

“A lot of people look down on me.” Jin Xiu laughed, “If I were to hold it against them, I would be dead from exhaustion already. Those men, even in their dreams they drool over my body, but they look down upon me deep in their bones. As for those women, on the surface they envy me, but in their hearts they hate me so much that their teeth itch. This world is as disgusting as it is.”

Jin Xiu understood how she felt. “But still it’s a must to live on.” She said, which woman, does not wish to grow up smoothly, after leaving the warmth of her parents, to be cherished by her husband and build a blissful and complete family, and then eventually die of old age? Who would want to tumble into red dust, betray her dignity and feelings, for the sake of her three meals to sacrifice her body and struggle, to be laughed at by anyone?

To be unwilling to freeze or die of hunger, to be unwilling to beg on the streets, to be unwilling to be bullied, was it wrong?

“I heard from Zuo Zhen, that you were on the streets for a while and suffered.” Ming Zhu sipped the red wine, “He wanted me to keep you, but I was thinking, it would be better to be apart.”

Jin Xiu opened her mouth embarrassed, as though she was about to say something, then thought the better of it.

“We don’t have the fate to be sisters.” Ming Zhu sighed softly, “To be honest, I shouldn’t blame the wrongdoings of the Rong family on you, you were young then, what did you know? Just that I’ve sworn that in this lifetime to not have anything to do with the Rong family.” Her tone was soft and she looked in a daze, “Back then, when mother and I were chased out, besides the twenty dollars that Uncle Tian gave us, we had nothing of value on us.”

“We endured much hardship travelling from Zhenjiang to Shanghai, initially planning to rely on a distant uncle, who knew that their entire family had left for Guangdong to do business, and had already left for a year. Without a place to stay, food to eat, clothes to wear, mother was so sick that she was on the verge of dying and vomited bloody every day. I didn’t understand myself, why didn’t I jump into Huangpu River then?

“Just for enough food to eat, I’ve begged, stolen, swindled, almost done everything. Fought with a group of beggars, so that we could sleep under the bridge, eaten rancid rice from the hotel’s trash, for the sake of earning money to cure my mother, worked for the laundry store owner and was almost raped by him.”

“When mother died, she was only skin and bones, her sores had burst and flies were buzzing around her……”

Ming Zhu could no longer continue, choking on her words. Continuing only after a while, “So, everything today was exchanged with my blood and tears. I can’t generously share it with someone from the Rong family. When I was struggling to live in the cold and hunger, what were you all doing? You were warm in that huge house, drinking tea and chatting. Now, when you finally think of me, I should smile and welcome you? Why don’t you treat the Rong Ming Zhu who was chased out as dead? My surname is no longer Rong, what relationship do I have with you?”

Jin Xiu descended into silence, Ming Zhu was her only family left, but she hated the name and this blood link. Jin Xiu couldn’t blame her, such a pitiful past, such an unlucky fate, why would she not hate?

“All these are in the past.” Jin Xiu said, “At least you’re successful now and doing well. Just treat it as a nightmare, now that you’re awake, everything is fine now.”

Ming Zhu shook her head. “Use your innocent brain to think Jin Xiu. As a woman, take a wrong step and you’ll be beyond redemption, can’t turn back anymore. You think I’m the one in Xiang Han Chuan’s heart? You think today’s wealth can last the years? He definitely has money and doesn’t spending some on me, but likewise, he doesn’t mind spending on other women too. To him, I’m not the first and I won’t be the last, meeting only once every eight to ten days, like how concubines had to wait for the emperor’s attention in the past, it’s no different from that!”

“Is it so?” Jin Xiu tried to explain, “But everyone says, he’s very nice to you.”

“They?” Ming Zhu smiled, full of sarcasm, “What do they understand? You listen well, Jin Xiu, to people like them, women like us are just like toys, easily bought with money, they can get as many as they want. You want to conquer their heart, that’s wishful thinking.”

Jin Xiu froze. Such similar words, were said by Lili in Bai Le Men before. Was their fate all the same? Even someone as beautiful as Ming Zhu could not avoid it? Then Ying Shao….Ying Shao….Ming Zhu sighed, “You like Xiang Ying Dong, right?”

“Ah?” Jin Xiu hurriedly tried to hide,”This, Ying Shao? How can it be, what are you thinking.”

“Don’t lie.” Ming Zhu looked at her, “Just now your eyes were stuck onto him, wherever he went, your eyes followed. I’ve been in these pleasure quarters for ten years, devoted men, jilted women, what kind of happy or sad endings have I not seen before, you still have a long way to go, you can’t deceive me.”

Jin Xiu’s face turned red, like a thief who had been apprehended on the spot, looking sideways, “Then, please promise me, not to tell him, and not let anyone know too.”

Ming Zhu smiled dryly, “I can’t be bothered to spread rumours. That’s right, Zuo Zhen doesn’t know?” That’s not possible, the kind of person Zuo Zhen is, even a speck of sand wouldn’t escape him, how could he not know?”

“Er Ye is aware of it.” Jin Xiu informed her despondently, “He knew form the start. Arranging for me to be in Bai Le Men, get close to Ying Shao, that was all with his help. I am just too stupid, it’s been so long, Ying Shao hasn’t even looked at me once.”

“Is it?” Ming Zhu was startled,”I must have been wrong then. He doesn’t interfere when it doesn’t concern him, when he brought you up time and again, I thought, he had fallen for you. Like this, he was just helping Ying Shao on the side.”

“Of course not!” Jin Xiu couldn’t help but raise her voice, “That’s impossible, Er Ye wouldn’t fall for me, someone like him, is difficult to fathom, what he’s thinking, who can tell?”

“Oh, really?” raised her eyes and looked around, at a distance in the crowd in beige, valiant Zuo Zhen was socializing with the people around, not sure what he said but the surrounding guests roared with laughter. Perhaps, she was thinking too much, amidst the hustle and bustle, Zuo Zhen’s back, seemed to give off an indiscernible sense of loneliness.

“Perhaps we don’t understand him well enough.” Ming Zhu, deep in thought, stated.

But did Jin Xiu understand herself?