Chapter 3 Tokisaki Kurumi
--If one experience strong tastes, one will eventually grow accustomed to it.
--If one continues to suffer severe pain, one will eventually come to be desensitized to it.
The same is true for the human heart as it gains resistance from the environment.
Strong despair, intense sorrow, even the anger scorching the body will gradually grow milder.
To say it positively, this is adaptation. To put it negatively, this means being worn out. It must be a function for people to live as people. Emotions that are too strong tend to gouge out, wear down, and scorch the heart. And then it just becomes a hindrance towards survival.
And eventually people forget. Leaving behind the bitter past, sad memories, and the painful journey traveled.
A heart full of despair will lose its true form and then merely be left as recorded information. But fresh events will eventually overwrite that information. Time is kinder than anything else and will eventually place a lid on that wound--
But. Alas, but.
This despair, sadness, and anger. What should a person suffering from this do to forget all of these negative emotions?
The answer is clear. --There is no choice but to continue to despair.
A life mission where she wagered her existence to accomplish, and doing so meant to endlessly burn in negative sentiments.
For years and years, I have continued to do so.
Only by doing so, I could walk my own path.
But with this suddenly acquired peace, I now think to myself.
Despair beyond the tolerance of an ordinary person, a Spirit whose heart continued to burn in the hearth, a Spirit that had lost her power.
--Can my past deeds really be called being human?
By the end of March, the coldness of winter had subsided and the surroundings atmosphere was gradually filled by springtime weather.
Sprouts on the ground, flowers buds nearby trees, and also pollen mixed into the wind, walking down the road even the people were dressed more refreshingly than the previous weeks. Well, there were a few outliners that wore glasses and masks even more now than they did during wintertime.
“Hmm……”
Taking in the warm sunlight bathing his entire body, Shidou greatly stretched.
Shidou was now on a street that was a ten minute walk from the Itsuka residence. It was a quiet area just on the dividing line between the residential area and the suburbs.
With the progression of each step, the amount of people grew scarce as they were replaced by an increase of trees and flowers. This was the ideal place to take a walk.
With that being said, Shidou was not lured by the spring breeze or trying to walk to curb a lack of daily exercise.
For a simple reason, Shidou had come to visit a person living nearby.
“……Here it is.”
Silently muttering, he stopped in front of a house.
A single old-fashioned isolated house surrounded by a tall fence. Looking up, there was ivy creeping on the surface of the iron door. To spin it positively, it was majestic. To say it negatively, it was the only thing that gave a chilly haunted house vibe underneath the warm sun.
On the side of the door there was a metal nameplate labeled TOKISAKI. Although it should have been relatively new, it was colored by fine scratches and rust either from the occupant’s own interest or being exposed to a harsh environment for the past year. It seemed to match the atmosphere of the house.
--That’s right. Tokisaki Kurumi. The girl who was once called the Worst Spirit was the owner of this house.
After the conflict ended one year ago, <Ratatoskr> tried to prepare a room for her in the mansion next to the Itsuka residence, but Kurumi refused and began living in this western house. It seemed that this was one of the strongholds Kurumi had previously owned.
<Ratatoskr> wanted to move her into a residence under their organization. But since the wishes of the Spirit were prioritized, her residence was decided without putting much of a fight. --Well, there was more possibility of a dispute if she had retained the power of the Spirits.
Anyway, since last year, Kurumi has lived alone in this house.
She remained registered at school as a student and since the Itsuka residence was within walking distance, she occasionally came over to have dinner with everyone. However, since this depended on Kurumi’s mood, she would often come less frequently than everyone else.
So Shidou would go check up on her every now and then, bringing along food when he has cooked too much.
Today’s gift was beef stew with potatoes and sesame spinach. Well, since Kurumi was also a master at cooking, he didn’t have to worry about her starving like Nia.
“Now then.”
After whispering to himself, Shidou pressed on the doorbell set up on the wall.
“…………”
In her study room, Tokisaki Kurumi was silently immersing herself in a book.
The room should have been originally 20 tatami mats. However, it felt much narrower due to being squeezed in space by the bookshelves lined up against the wall and the mountains of books and documents piled up in front of it. Despite it still being daytime, a stack of books on the east side near a window was blocking the sun. So she was still using electrical lighting while turning the pages of the book.
Her eyes followed the text as she wrote down the important information in her notebook. At the same time, her imagination leaped up as she formulated the various expressions and wording used.
--How much time has passed? The alarm from the smartphone in her hands rang, causing her shoulders to slightly shake.
A schedule notification was displayed on the screen. Apparently, it seemed that the appointed time had arrived.
“……Ara, ara. It’s already that time.”
While quietly saying that, Kurumi stretched her back forward as if preparing to lie on a table.
Her stiff neck and shoulders somewhat ached.
At the same moment her concentration faltered, the fatigue and hunger she had been ignoring until now suddenly reappeared. Kurumi let out a deep sigh while rubbing her shoulders.
“--Now, it’s time to start preparing.”
Normally she would stay a little longer here, but there was an appointment today that needed her to go out. She talked to herself as she exited the door of the study room.
Books were piled randomly on the way to the door. The road was like a sports maze, but Kurumi was already well familiar with the route from repeated travels. She walked briskly to the hallway.
Suddenly, Kurumi stopped her feet.
The reason was simple. It was because she had seen her own reflection through the glass window.
A petite girl dressed in black attire. Lustrous black hair with the same color as a crow’s feathers, a white porcelain face, and in the center there were a pair of eyes of the same color staring at herself.
“…………”
After seeing those features, Kurumi walked up to the glass window.
Then, she reached out with her fingertips to stroke the reflection of her left eye on the glass.
“I thought I would get used to it, but it still feels a little uncomfortable. --It’s strange. There were times where I thought it was even a cursed symbol.”
It was a complicated feeling. Kurumi sighed and lowered her eyes, looking away as she regained focus to return to her original route.
Going through the hallway and up the stairs to the bedroom, she entered a walk-in closet and chose an appropriate outfit from a row of clothes.
“Hmm……this one should do.”
Kurumi skillfully changed into a Gothic Lolita-style dress. Turning around in front of the mirror, the frills of the skirt fluttered and sketched a beautiful trajectory.
Suddenly--
“--Ara.”
Kurumi slightly raised her eyebrows. The moment she turned, something appeared at the edge of her vision.
On top of the cosmetic shelf in the corner of the room, there was a square-shaped confectionary jar that could be used to exchange gifts.
Of course, what contained inside were neither biscuits nor any other snacks. A refined lady like Kurumi wouldn’t eat confectionary goods in her bedroom.
“Fufu, I feel nostalgic, we.”
Kurumi’s expression relaxed as she open the lid of the jar.
--What was contained were four different types of eyepatches.
One of them was a white eyepatch for medical use. One of them was a bandage oozing with bloodstains. One of them was a heart-shaped eyepatch decorated with frills. And the last one was an eyepatch shaped like the guard of a sword.
And under them were rose ornaments for hair, cross accessories, ribbons with laces, and braids with bells.
Yes, these were the accessories wore by Kurumi’s clones when she had the power of the Spirits.
One year ago, when the power of the Spirits disappeared from the world, the clones of Kurumi created from <Zafkiel> also disappeared with that power.
In other words, these eyepatch accessories were the equivalent of their mementos.
Of course, the clothes knitted through reiryoku--Astral Dresses, had disappeared along with them. But apparently some individuals found it tiresome to make alterations to their Astral Dress and bought accessories based on their own preferences.
Today’s destination did share a connection to them. Kurumi reached into the jar and picked up the medical eyepatch.
“……Would we also like to go together?”
She tied the eyepatch onto her left eye as a joke.
Looking up at the mirror, it felt like an illusion of her past self clone being resurrected on the spot.
“Ara, ara, it’s normal after all for us to look alike.”
Somehow, Kurumi couldn’t help but find this amusing and laugh about it.
“As for the other eyepatches--it can’t be helped not putting them on.”
If both eyes were covered, nothing could be seen. Kurumi wrapped the bandage around her hands and attached the heart and sword guard eyepatches onto her clothes.
“I see……tie it here and the rest……”
While doing this, the enjoyment gradually grew more and more fun. She put on the remaining hair ornaments and accessories and even took out the frilly parasol standing in the closet. Then, she decided to take a pose in front of the mirror.
“Fumu--”
--Not too shabby.
Kurumi assumed the next pose with a smile.
Raising the hem of her skirt with both hands to show respect, closing the parasol and holding in front like a gentlemen’s walking stick, a pose showing off her beautiful neck, and many more--the poses were seen in various angles. She decided to take photos of her favorite pose with her smartphone.
“…………”
Then, how much time had passed?
Looking at the photos she took, Kurumi suddenly calmed down.
It felt like another person had possessed her from above. Within her chest, a different emotion soon came to the surface.
--An eyepatch for medical use. Well, when she still had her Reiryoku, it wasn’t meaningless since her left eye had changed in appearance. But why was she wearing an eyepatch now when not injured?
The same goes for the other accessories. Why did she have bandages without even having a scratch? Why was she carrying a cross without being a devote Christian? Thinking it over, what was the purpose of a skull ring? There wasn’t any reason to carry a parasol indoors and the sword guard eyepatch didn’t make any sense either.
All in all, she suddenly became embarrassed by her outfit.
“…………………Need to change out of this.”
After looking at herself in the mirror for a moment, Kurumi whispered to herself.
She didn’t understand why she was so excited a few minutes ago. Perhaps it was due to her clones’ lingering sentiments for the eyepatches and accessories.
Anyway, it was good that she was at home. If someone was watching this, Kurumi would need to figure out a way to dispose of the corpse so that this would never get out.
Kurumi tried closing the parasol while letting out a sigh of relief.
“--Hey, Kurumi, are you there?”
A voice came from behind at the same moment the sound of the door was heard opening.
“…………!?”
“----!?”
In that instant, their eyes met as Shidou opened the door.
Then, after a brief pause.
“--Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--!?”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--!?”
Two screams echoed in the Tokisaki residence.
“…………”
“…………”
There was an awkward silence in the Tokisaki residence’s living room. The tick tock sound coming from the clock could loudly be heard.
But that was unavoidable. Shidou sighed lightly while recalling the tragedy that had just occurred.
……No, of course this wasn’t intentional on Shidou’s part. He rang the doorbell and no one responded. And since the door was open, he entered the house to see if anything had happened.
Also, he didn’t mean to scream. Rather than being caused by Kurumi’s dress, the result was from being startled by Kurumi’s own scream.
……But Kurumi didn’t seem to think so.
“…………”
Kurumi was now silently sitting across from Shidou. She had packed up the eyepatches and accessories back into the snack jar and even changed her clothes. However, she didn’t even look at Shidou once while doing so. Apparently, that costume was something that Kurumi very much didn’t want others to see.
“……U-Uhh……”
Shidou felt a little awkward as he reached for the tea cup on the table. Then, he took a sip of the black tea that Kurumi had made earlier.
“Un……r-really, it tastes delicious. Tea leaves are great and the brewing method is also fantastic.”
Shidou breathed out his thoughts. It would be a lie to say this wasn’t to please Kurumi, but these were the genuine feelings coming from his heart.
Afterwards, Kurumi finally glanced at Shidou.
“……Saying that really couldn’t be any better. Incidentally, have you heard this story before Shidou-san?”
“W-What is it?”
“Strychnine, a highly toxic substance, has a strong bitter taste so it’s a classic mixture for poisoning when mixed into tea or coffee.”
“Buh……!?”
Shidou involuntarily coughed upon hearing Kurumi’s words. However, Kurumi calmly narrowed her eyes.
“What’s the matter with you Shidou-san, coughing like that when I’m just talking casually.”
“R-Right……”
After Shidou responded with a hoarse voice, Kurumi replied with a “well, but--” and continued.
“If the powerless me, who has lost the power of the Spirits, was faced with the situation of sealing the mouth of someone, surely poison will have to be employed.”
“…………”
Hearing this euphemistic and forward threat, Shidou felt his cheeks spasm.
“I won’t tell anyone……”
“……What do you mean? I don’t understand what Shidou-san is trying to say.”
Hearing what Shidou had said, Kurumi turned her face away. ……It looks like Kurumi would prefer denying anything had happened rather than keeping it a secret.
Nevertheless, even if Shidou followed along with that, it wouldn’t completely wipe out Kurumi’s distrust. Shidou let out a muffled groan while trying to think up of a method.
Eventually, he reached one idea.
“……Gu.”
It was a means he wanted to avoid as much as possible……but it couldn’t be helped. Shidou decided to steel himself as he raised his face.
“Um Kurumi, there’s something that I want to show you.”
“……What is it?”
Kurumi spoke with a curt look. Shidou opened a photo folder in his smart phone and picked out a certain image to show Kurumi.
“--This is……”
Seeing the photo, Kurumi widened her eyes.
But that should be expected. After all, what displayed there was--Shidou in his junior high years, with him wearing an eyepatch and bandages exactly like what Kurumi had just been doing.
“……No, it’s embarrassing now, but there was a time when I thought this was cool. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to be only doing this at home. ……Can you please not tell anyone?”
As Shidou asked with a reddish face, Kurumi showed a surprised look before quickly giggling.
“--Yes, yes, I understand. People often say that everyone has their own past.”
As Kurumi spoke, the evil expression just now had completely disappeared from her face. It felt like a strange sense of solidarity rather than secretly sharing each other’s shameful past. --Well, to phrase it differently, she might have felt a sense of security from being able to now take Shidou’s past hostage.
Either way, the uncomfortable atmosphere had finally subsided. Shidou breathed out a sigh of relief as he turned his attention to the snack jar on the table.
“Did that……belong to a clone?”
He felt almost too afraid to ask that question. The medical eyepatch worn by Kurumi just now.
Five years ago--no, six years ago if counting from now--it was identical to what she wore then.
“Yes--”
Kurumi, who had calmed down a bit, opened the jar and showed the accessories to Shidou.
“These are remnants belonging to my four most troublesome clones. --Although they were helplessly noisy individuals, it does feel rather lonely after they are gone.”
With a distant look in her eyes, Kurumi softly sighed. From that expression, there were both nostalgic for the past and sorrow from losing a dear friend.
But that was inevitable. Kurumi’s clones were a pseudo-life form created by the authority of her Angel. Now that they have lost the powers of the Spirits, they could no longer maintain their form.
“…………”
Thinking of this, Shidou suddenly frowned. The question that had been lingering in his mind for a while now suddenly reappeared at this moment.
“Hey, Kurumi, there’s a question that wondering about for a while now. May I ask it?”
“Ufufu, please rest assured. I’m not in any relationship with any perfect gentlemen.”
As Shidou asked, Kurumi closed her eyes and answered in a playful tone. Shidou scratched his cheek while smiling bitterly.
“No, I’m not asking about that……”
“Oh, then what on earth is it?”
“Aah--”
Shidou coughed a little to readjust himself before continuing.
“During the battle on year ago--Mio emerged out from you. And then you survived by entrusting your memories and Sephira Crystal to a clone created by the Eighth Bullet <Het>.”
“Yes--something like that did occur.”
Hearing Shidou’s question, Kurumi answered while taking a sip of the black tea.
Yes, to be precise, the Kurumi here right now was not exactly the same as the one from a year ago.
In order to avoid her destined demise caused by Mio, a new Kurumi was born from her transferring everything to another body.
In other words, Kurumi’s current body should have the same composition as the other clones that vanished when all of the Reiryoku had disappeared.
“Why do you continue to exist even without the power of the Spirits? Obviously, the other clones have already disappeared.”
“Ara, ara. Is Shidou-san saying that I should have disappeared?”
Kurumi said that while looking into Shidou’s face. Shidou shook his head with a troubled look.
“T-That’s not what I’m saying. I am glad you were safe. Just--”
“--You want to know the difference between me and Tohka-san.”
“----”
Listening to those words, Shidou held his breath.
It wasn’t the question he was thinking about. But right after the moment that was said, Shidou realized he was looking for that.
Kurumi seemed amused by this thought, but then sadly looked at Shidou while softly shrugging her shoulders.
“It’s not like I can’t tell you, but the truth is simple enough to be disappointing.”
Then, with her right hand assuming the gesture of a gun, she pointed her index finger at her own forehead.
“It’s because my current self’s body is not a clone.”
“……What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple story. After transferring my memories and Sephira Crystal to a clone, I used the Fourth Bullet <Dalet> to restore my original body that was tossed aside by Mio-san and then transferred my memories Sephira back there again.”
“Wha--”
Shidou widened his eyes. No way, so that was what Kurumi was doing behind the scene.
“Why did you do that? Did you know then that the power of the Spirits was going to disappear?”
“No, I didn’t expect it to go that far. However, although I managed to survive, a clone’s body is unstable and short-lived. I was already at the limit to use it as a temporary refuge. --Well, if my original body was shattered to the point of not even dust left behind, it would have been game over for me then.”
“I-I see……”
Shidou nodded with sweat dripping down his face. ……Transferring memories and repairing her original body, it felt like something coming from a mechanical body like Maria rather than from a living creature. But then again, this did make sense.
The key to surviving was to have a human body the moment Mio’s Sephira Crystal disappeared.
If Kurumi was still in a body made from Reiryoku, she may have disappeared just like Tohka.
As Shidou was considering this over, Kurumi narrowed her eyes and licked her lips.
“But, yes--there was one more troubling thing about this.”
“Troubling?”
As Shidou asked, Kurumi said “yes”, nodding while standing up from the sofa to sit next to Shidou.
Then, she leaned against Shidou in a sensation gesture. Shidou’s shoulders started to tremble a little.
“K-Kurumi!?”
“Ufufu……indeed I survived that battle through using a clone’s body. However, when I transferred my memories to that clone, my consciousness mixed with that of the clone’s original consciousness.”
“Huh……?”
Shidou’s eyes widened.
However, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t understand what Kurumi was saying. Although the clone was a temporary refuge for her, it should have also contained the clone’s own consciousness.
While she underwent a different process, the situation was similar to what happened to Origami.
Additionally, a mixed consciousness is not so easily separated. Even if those memories were transferred back to the original Kurumi body, they won’t be separated. And it remained a part of the original Kurumi. If the consciousness of the clone survived even after Mio’s death, then in that case--”
“In other words……that means the current Kurumi is a fusion of the clone and original?”
“Yes, that’s right. Of course, because I am the original, there shouldn’t be anything too strange felt, but--”
“Kurumi gave a charming smile as she gently stroked Shidou’s cheek.
“--A younger, more aggressive and more curious individual has been added into me.”
“Wha, wha, wha……”
As she whispered into his ear, Shidou felt his entire face turn red. He hurriedly got up from the sofa and took a step back.
“Ara, ara, what’s wrong Shidou-san?”
“Y-You……”
At that moment, Shidou accidentally knocked down the jar. The floor was covered by a thick velvet rug so it didn’t make too much noise. However, the eyepatches stored inside were all scattered on the floor.
“Ah……sorry……”
As Shidou was picking up the eyepatches, he couldn’t help but think of one more thing of note.
Those words unintentionally leaked out from his mouth.
“……Perhaps you were under the influence of that younger individual to wear that eyepatch earlier……?”
“…………!?”
The moment he said that, Kurumi’s calm smile disappeared as she froze in place.
Then, cold sweat began falling from her forehead as she touched her head.
“I didn’t expect such a thing……no, it’s possible……otherwise, even though it was for a moment, I should have never made that mistake……”
Kurumi’s complexion turned pale as she started hitting her forehead against a pillar.
“Me! Get out of my body! Come out! Evil spirit begone! Evil spirit begone!”
“C-Calm down Kurumi! Isn’t it your own past rather than an evil spirit!?”
“That’s why I hate thiiiiiiiiis!”
After being caught by Shidou and having her arms held in place, Kurumi screamed while struggling her legs.
But Kurumi was still Kurumi. Despite the shortness of her breathing, she quickly calmed down.
“……Sorry about that. I’m fine now.”
“A-Ah……”
After Shidou let go of his grip, Kurumi stepped back to her original seat with swaying steps. She gulped down the remaining black tea in a single breath. While there should be no alcohol in there, it looked like she was drinking sake.
“A-Are you okay, Kurumi……”
“……Yes. I showed you something unsightly. Even if our minds mix, she is just a clone. I have control over my consciousness. --Moreover, if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have been able to survive. I can only accept this as part of the stigma of that.”
“…………”
From those words, it didn’t seem like she was under the influence of her younger self. But Shidou decided to stay silent and pretend not to notice.
At that moment, the wall clock in the corner of the living room started let out a low……dong, dong sound. Kurumi raised her eyebrows in surprise as she looked over there.
“--Oh, it’s already time. It all just flew by so unexpectedly.”
“Ah, my bad. I didn’t intend to stay for this long……”
“Ufufu, perhaps being with Shidou-san is why time flew by so quickly.”
“Haha……”
Kurumi closed one eye and said in a playful tone. Shidou gave a faint smile in response.
“Speaking of which, did you have anything planned afterwards?”
“Yes, well. It wasn’t exactly decided, but--”
As Kurumi spoke, she started to nod as if coming up with something.
“If Shidou-san is free, can you accompany me?”
“That’s fine……but what are you doing?”
After being questioned, Kurumi gave a complicated smile while continuing to speak.
“--I was thinking, a little about saying hello to an old friend.”
--Howling. Roaring. Beast let out a roar.
As if screaming. As if sobbing. As if lamenting.
Collapsing the heavens, rending the earth, a major disaster without equal.
Slaughter everything. Devour everything.
But the thirst would not yield. But the heart was not satisfied.
Beast howled and screamed.
Nothing in the world could satisfy Beast.
There weren’t even any memories of why Beast was screaming.
But Beast could only roar. There was no choice but to yell.
Because apart from that, there was nothing else that Beast could do--
“Ah……ah……--”
But at that moment.
Something was heard in the ears of Beast.
A voice, a call, someone was calling to Beast.
A voice to hazy and weak to even be called a tremor.
However, this was the only beacon for Beast who had lost all purpose and forgotten every meaning.
“A , a, aaaaaaaa--”
Beast let out a particularly loud roar--
Her claws tore through the void.
It took about an hour to transfer from Tenguu City through trains and buses.
Shidou and Kurumi were visiting a cemetery in the suburbs.
It was a well-maintained cemetery with a vast site as its selling point. In the open space as far as one could see, short tombstones were regularly arranged.
“--It’s here.”
Speaking quietly, Kurumi walked along the crossroads stretching between the graves. Surely she must have visited here several times already. There was no hesitation in her steps.
Although she was dressed in the same monotone outfit as before, it looked to be a mourning dress in this place. Well, the black parasol and bouquet in her hands probably helped accentuate this impression.
Yes, it seemed that Kurumi was planning on visiting a grave.
Kurumi’s best friend who lost her life more than 20 years ago--to pay respects at Yamauchi Sawa’s grave.
The reason why she took out the keepsakes of her clones was also because of this. The clones were a reproduction of Kurumi’s past. In short, they also had many memories of Sawa.
Therefore, Kurumi thought that they should visit Sawa’s grave together. Right now, there was a small bag hanging on her shoulders that contained the four eyepatches.
“…………”
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