Don’t Cry Mama - Chapter 1

Don't Cry Mama

I hough the weather was nice, the waves were rough and the fishing boat rocked wildly. In the small, rank room, Yuichi Higashiyama forced a grin and answered, “That’s right” to the bearded man as he held his backpack tightly on his lap.
“Pharmaceutical companies are having a tough time. It must be especially hard on someone young like you.”
The bearded man who said he worked at an omithology institute appeared to be in his fifties. He sat with his arms folded and his expression changed little as he talked. He said this wasn’t his first trip to the island, and it seemed he was used to boats. Perhaps that’s why he seemed unperturbed by the rocking. His companion, a man in his early forties who wore a hunting cap, showed no signs of seasickness either.
Yuichi had never experienced motion sickness before, and while it was not enough to make him vomit, he certainly was not feeling well. It helped to talk.
“The recession has really hurt us because we’re just a small company and we don’t have much of a budget for product development. Even so, management is always pushing us to come up with something new to seli. It’s more than we can take.”
The bearded man nodded slightly as he rubbed his chin.
 

“Why are you going to Fuchi Island,” asked the man in the hunting cap.
“To find herbs that help you lose weight when you brew them as tea. They’re normally native to Mexico and very difficult to grow. It’s said that the environment in Japan is not conducive to cultivating them, yet I’ve heard reports of them growing on Fuchi Island. I don’t know if they’re stili there or not—or if it’s even true—but if I find them, I’II take them back and we’ll try to cultivate them. If that’s successful, we can make diet products...”
“Higashiyama!”
The high voice cut through the stench-filled room. Yuichi tumed around and saw his boss, Takashi Imakura, standing at the entrance. Imakura had been throwing up on deck the since the instant they left port and the boat started rocking.
“That’s a company secret. You shouldn’t be talking about it with people you’ve just met. Unbelievable.. .how could you be so careless?”
Imakura was so fat that the belt on his chino pants looked like it might break at any moment. Though pale from sickness, he glared at Yuichi. “Fat” is a commonly used adjective, but the word was too kind for Imakura. He was so obese that he resembled a bull frog. On top of that, he was short—about five foot four. Yuichi was 6 foot so Imakura barely reached his chin when they stood next to each other.
The scolding darkened the aI'mosphere in the room. Even the men from the omithology institute averted their gaze wishing they were somewhere else.
 

It may have been a little careless talking about the company’s product development, but it’s not like the others worked for a competitor. Yuichi couldn’t help but wish that his boss had been a little more diplomatic in his choice of words.
“I’m sorry. But they’re omithologists...”
“Are you talking back to me?”

His excess weight had even made his face huge, though all the parts were concentrated in a small space in the çenter. His yelling protruded from lips so red they couldn’t help but stand out. Yuichi reallzed that Imakura would not hold back just because the omithologists were present, so he apologized again. Imakura let out a few pig-like snorts as if he was satisfied, then stumbled down the steps, and plopped down next to the young man. Between the narrow bench and being pushed up against the wall by the fat man, Yuichi started to become claustrophobic. It got even harder to bear when he noticed the looks of pity from the omithologists.

Imakura continued to grunt even while seated, and the sound grated on Yuichi. It was only May and not hot yet, but beads of sweat were constantly forming on Imakura’s brow and dribbling down his cheeks. He wiped them with his short, fat fingers that resembled pink, hairless caterpillars.

Imakura’s neck looked like stacked rice cakes, boasting more quadruple chin than double. The buttons on his shirt barely held his bulk, the fabric stretched to burst like a hotdog in the microwave. It was beyond denying that Imakura was obese. No one at the company was brave enough to ask him his weight, but during company-wide physicals last April, someone snuck a peek at Imakura’s chart. It caused quite a stir when everyone heard that he weighed a mere 292 pounds. “300? More like 500,” was the common refrain. Yuichi had always believed that there was more to people than looks, but when their personallty was as bad as their appearance, there was just no helping them. On top of that, it would be too kind to say that Imakura was good at his work.

Yuichi had just tumed 25, and Imakura was five years older. He had seniority at work thanks to a system that rewards years of service rather than skill, but he was slow and made many mistakes. Yuichi could forgive the mistakes if he would at least correct them and make things right, but that was far too much to ask. Imakura had no desire to work at all. He only did what he had to. Since it was up to Yuichi and his colleagues to clean up after him, Imakura’s reputation was about as low as it could get. When Yuichi would go drinking with people from work, talk would inevitably tum to complaints about Imakura. They could go on all night just about him.

“I’d bet anything that he’s a mama’s boy. I heard him being all cutesy on his celi phone, saying ‘What time will you be home, mama?’ It was so gross, it gave me goose bumps.” Such stories were common.

“When he goes to the bathroom, he even sits down to piss. It’s because his dick is so small. I’ve seen it once before. I swear, I don’t think it was even an inch long.” The bar crowd would laugh at this.
Yuichi had never heard anything good said about Imakura. He was as frustrated as everyone else, but while he listened to their grumbling, he never joined them. He didn’t like complaining about others, and he took no joy in putting others down. Since he didn’t make a face when given orders, and always did as he was told, Imakura had started to call on him exclusively at work. Imakura could have handled this trip on his own, and Yuichi couldn’t help but feel that he had been dragged along uselessly and against his will.

Part of Yuichi’s problem was his “class president” attitude. He had always been a serious student, and was elected class president all the way from elementary through high school. He liked being a leader and giving directions to others, and didn’t mind doing jobs that others shunned. He didn’t put up with bullies in his class, either. He had a strong sense of justice, and no matter how much he didn’t like someone or they didn’t get along, he always did his best to find the good in them.
These childhood habits followed him into adulthood, and while he prided himself on his steely exterior, he was known around work as “a person of character”. No matter how unjust Imakura’s actions seemed, he brushed them offby saying “he’s the boss”. But this meant that those above them assumed he could be pushed around, and he found himself the victim of their whims. He got angry, but he never said anything, and this just fueled the problem. He tried not to show his emotions, but in reallty he had always been impatient and verbally abusive. Those who saw his true self, especially his younger brother Shuji, were amazed that he was able to control himself long enough to get by in society. But what did they know...
The boat rocked wildly. Imakura let out a gulp, covered his mouth, and ran for the deck. With him gone, the physical and psychological claustrophobia disappeared, and a sense of relaxation retumed to the room. Yuichi looked at the other two men as if to apologize for his boss, and bowed his head slightly.
Fuchi Island was only six miles long from its Southern to its northem tip, and was oval in shape. Though small, it had a port and used to be home to a few dozen people. When the currents changed, disrupting the fishing grounds, the residents gradually moved away. The fact that it could only be reached by a two hour boat ride meant the exodus stayed permanent, and it was now a deserted island. The fast currents brought thick fog to the island, making the Crossing dangerous. Fishing boats would only approach on aftemoons when there was good weather.
They left Hamamatsu at seven in the moming, and arrived at the port at about 9:I5 a.m. The two omithologists had come to research gulls that were only found in this region. After exchanging pleasantries with Yuichi and Imakura at the dock, they set about their own business.
As for Yuichi and Imakura...they weren’t making any headway at all. Yuichi slowly tumed towards the problem. As Imakura stepped onto the pier, he let out one last burst of vomit. Yuichi waited for him to stop and then approached the big man noting that his violent heaving almost made his dark blue polo shirt rip open across his rounded back.
“Are you all right?”
“Do I look all right?”
He understood why Imakura was in a bad mood, but Yuichi stili didn’t appreciate his attitude. Even as he inwardly cursed the fat man, his expression showed nothing.
“The boat will pick us up here at 4:00. Allowing time for lunch and rests, we only have about six hours.” Imakura remained sprawled on the dock, and vomited yet again into the water. He looked up pleadingly.
“Do we have to take a boat back?”
‘I'm afraid so.”
Lifting his head again with effort, Imakura glared at Yuichi with red pufîy eyes that seemed ovenvhelmed by the surrounding skin.
“You don’t understand the pain I’m in.”
In addition to all of the other bad things he had done, his conduct towards the omithologists was inexcusable. What little pity Yuichi had for Imakura’s seasickness vanished. If he was that susceptible to seasickness, the least he could have done was bring along some medicine to help him through it. For heavens sake, he works for a pharmaceutical company! But that was what made Imakura the man he was. Even as he thought that there was no way he could sympathize with such a man, Yuichi pretended to be concemed as he spoke.
‘I'm sorry. I’ve never had motion sickness...” Convinced by the act, Imakura’s mood improved. Yuichi tumed his eyes from this simple man to his watch. It read 9:30. He wanted to leave right away, but his partner was unable to proceed, so he tried to be patient. According to the map, the herbs were spotted on the southem tip of the island which was a two mile walk. Stili, there was no guarantee that he would be able to find them there. If he didn’t, he would have to look for them somewhere else.
That was one of the reasons he had spoken with the omithologists. They said that their research facility was on the northem part of the island, which was perfect. If he could gain their interest and give them a sample of the herbs, perhaps they would keep an eye out for them and let him know during the boat ride back if they had seen any. There was no way he could cover the entire island in one day, so he planned to use all the resources available to him. Imakura dashed this plan but Yuichi should have known better than to count his chickens before they were hatched. Time was wasting as they sat around on the dock. Yuichi waited in the hot sun until the round man finally stood. Even then, Imakura gave no sign that he was ready to move. By I0:00, Yuichi couldn’t stand it any longer.
“You seem to be feeling better. Let’s head out. The air’s fresh and the scenery’s beautiful. It should make hiking easy.”
He thought he had chosen his words carefully, but Imakura’s glare told Yuichi that he had said something wrong.
“We’re working. This isn’t a pleasure outing for hiking.”
 

Inside, Yuichi was exploding with an anger he hadn’t felt for some time, but his face showed only the slightest downtum of his lips. The expression lasted only a fraction of second. Yuichi had nothing but dark, evil thoughts for Imakura even as he hid them with a placid smile. The moment passed like a cloud from the sun.
If they couldn’t find the herb today, their trip would be for nothing. Yuichi knew the section chief would not be happy and that he would hear about it. If Imakura said that one day was not enough to search, they might be forced to come again. Stili, the company’s finances were so bad he didn’t know if they could afford to travel again, or if the entire diet pili project would be scrapped. Imakura was the leader of the project. He was the one who would be in trouble if they couldn’t find anything. Yuichi was nothing more than an assistant. Stili, he had no doubt that Imakura would blame a fruitless trip on him. He could see it now. Yuichi gave out a short sigh.
“I’ve thrown up so much that I would dehydrate if I walked in this heat. Can’t you see that?”
There was nothing Yuichi could say to placate
him.
“I guess so...why don’t you wait here? I’ll hike to the southem part of the island myself. I don’t think I can make it back by noon, so Fil take my own lunch. If you start to feel better, why don’t you search över there.”
“Whatever.”
Imakura threw the map at Yuichi like he had been waiting for him to say that from the very beginning and had become tired of waiting. He plopped down in the shade. Sweat beaded on his red forehead and the wrinkles of his belly were beyond ugly. Yuichi grabbed his backpack withits small shovel and plastic sample cases then tumed his back on the bane of his existence. He walked down the unpaved road quickly as if moving away would put distance between him and the fat man in mind as well as body.
The sun set slowly and the hot day dragged on towards a muggy evening. Yuichi stood on the dock and felt his sticky forehead dripping with sweat from a hard days work. It was only I5 minutes past the agreed upon pick-up time of 4 p.m., but even squinting as he looked över the water, he didn’t see their boat.
“Where’s our boat...?”
“Can’t you see that it’s not here?”
Imakura looked out across the water as well, but his words were sharp. Yuichi cringed every time he spoke but did his best to keep his anger from showing.
“I wonder if it ran into trouble. It’s also strange that the omithologists aren’t here yet. I was sure the boat we saw just before 4:00 was ours.”
“But it didn’t even approach.”
Why didn’t the boat come into port? And if the boat he saw earlier was theirs, Yuichi wondered why it left without picking them up.
“I doubt they would have picked up the others and left us here...”
“This is all your fault!”
Out of nowhere, Imakura exploded.

“You’re the one who arranged for the fishing boats to transport us! This happened because you hired someone who couldn’t be trusted. Even if it cost more, you should have hired a cruiser. It wouldn’t have rocked as much and I wouldn’t have götten so sick.”
There was no way the company would have allowed him to hire a cruiser for this kind of research trip. Imakura should have known that but he was becoming irrational. He was stili complaining as Yuichi fished for his celi phone and notebook in his backpack.
“Didn’t your parents teach you to listen while others are talking?”
He ignored Imakura’s hysterics and dialed the fisherman’s guild that had helped him book the boats. The woman in the office said she would radio the boat that was supposed to pick them up and call him right back. Yuichi made sure she knew his number before hanging up and tumed to the fat man behind him. “They’re going to contact our boat for us.”
“You should have called them earlier. What have you been doing till now?”
Knowing that he would only get angrier if he answered, Yuichi let the words slide off him and sat down. Holding his celi phone in his right hand, he waited for the guild to retum his call, but after ten minutes, nothing happened. He looked at his celi phone and his jaw dropped. There was no display. He pushed power, but nothing happened...the battery had run out. He tumed to his boss in alarm.
“Did you bring your celi phone?”
“Of course I did.”

The frown did not leave Imakura’s face when he answered.
“May I borrow it, please?”
“Use yours.”
Imakura didn’t even tum as he answered, and Yuichi could no longer hide his displeasure.
“My battery ran out. I’m sorry.”
“Unbelievable...”
Imakura grumbled as he looked through his bag, but.. .no matter how much he looked his celi phone never appeared.
He started to repeat, “That’s strange. How can this be?”
“Did you forget it?” Yuichi was tom between yelling at the man and giving into growing panic that the situation had caused.
Imakura’s face reddened with anger.
“Shut up. I’m looking.”
But stili there was no celi phone.
“I was sure I put it in my bag this moming...”
His voice started to lose its certainty. Stranded with no working celi phone... the reallty of the situation was just coming to Yuichi when a cool ocean breeze interrupted his thoughts. Tuming around, he saw that the sun had already halfway disappeared below the horizon dragging thick darkness behind it like a blanket. He had thought it was getting hard to see because of his anxiety but now he noticed that a thick fog was starting to mist the dock. If they had no way to contact anyone, there was nothing they could do. There is no lighthouse on a deserted island, so there was no way a boat would attempt to approach the port in the dark, and doubly so in the fog.

“I’ve already spoken to the guild and they should have told our boat that they forgot to pick us up. Stili, I don’t think the boat will come in this fog. Let’s give up for the day and look for a place to sleep.” Yuichi sounded braver than he felt.
It seemed the right decision for their circumstance, but Imakura’s response was as rapid as a machine gun.
“This is all your fault. Are you saying you expect me to...to sleep outdoors? No way. And what will we do for dinner? I can’t sleep if I'm hungry.”
It was not the response of an adult. Even Yuichi wasn’t wild about the idea of sleeping outside, but he wasn’t going to cry about it. He looked down at his pig of a boss and could not believe how selfish he was. He could only think of him as a fool.
“But we can’t stay here,” he said halfheartedly.
Imakura seemed to notice the attitude in his voice, and he almost spit his response.
“You have no idea of the gravity of the situation. You were even giving out company secrets to those men you just met.” His screams hurt Yuichi’s ears.
“Imakura, could you please keep your voice down?”
But he was too worked up to listen to Yuichi. He continued to rant.
“I’ve never liked you. Everyone says you’re good at your job, but I never agreed. You trick people with your cool exterior, but you’re irresponsible.”

Yuichi’s thoughts tumed darker. “You should talk,” he thought. “Other people at the company won’t even hide their contempt for you. You only chose me, the one who you apparently don’t like, for this trip because I’m the only one who doesn’t make faces when you order me to do something.” But he said nothing out loud.
Yuichi’s body began to shake. He wanted more than anything to scream “pig”, but he clenched his fists to keep from doing so. His porcine superior continued to look up at him blithely unaware of his peril.
“I can’t believe someone like you can get promoted by just sucking up to others. Suginoki Pharmaceuticals has no future because of workers like you.
Yuichi heard something snap in his head.
“Would you just shut up?” He came to after muttering this. Imakura’s face grew redder and redder with anger. Yuichi quickly bowed in apology reallzing what he’d just said to his boss.
“Please forgive me. I’m just on edge. Um... there are houses to the east. Why don’t we head that way. They may not be in good shape, but they should at least protect us from the elements.”
Imakura stood in silence holding his backpack to his chest. He tumed away from Yuichi and they headed off towards the houses. Yuichi swung his backpack över his shoulder and followed the huge back and imagined he was chasing a boar. He wanted his relationships at work to go well so he’d tried his best to get along with Imakura. Yet that effort had all been for nothing. He was sad that he hadn’t been able to let Imakura’s abuse slide this time, but once he reallzed that there was no risk of being disliked, things seemed a little easier. In fact, it was probably better not to be liked, and he was a little angry that he had put up with him for so long.
Yoshiwara Tae, the clerk at the fisherman guild offîce that received the call from the pharmaceutical company, radioed the Fujiwara-maru. The skipper of the Fujiwara-maru was a fisherman in his seventies named Genzo. Genzo answered immediately that he had picked up two men and was now heading for port. Tae put down the receiver, but was confused. The man from the pharmaceutical company said the boat hadn’t come, but Genzo said that he had already picked them up. It was strange, but Genzo was an honest man and there was no reason not to believe him. He must have arrived just after the phone call she reasoned.
Though she convinced herself that this had to be the case, she decided to check. She dialed the man’s celi phone, but the call didn’t go through. Perhaps he had tumed it off. Tae put down the receiver and threw the slip of paper with the man’s phone number in the trash.
Tae simply didn’t know that the boat they took to the island and the one they planned to take back was different. Genzo was only supposed to pick them up. The fisherman who took them told Genzo that he had taken “two groups with two men each” to the island, but Genzo, who was hard of hearing, misheard it as “a group of two men”. As he approached the northem tip of the island, he ran across the omithologists and they boarded there. He never went to the dock. One of the omithologists thought this was strange and asked why he didn’t pick up the men from the pharmaceutical company, but Genzo was convinced he was only supposed to pick up a “group of two” and answered that everyone who was supposed to be aboard was. The omithologist didn’t think the others looked like they were prepared to stay ovemight, but the fisherman seemed sure of the information so the scientist let it drop. The only person who knew that there were two men stuck on the island was a simple office worker named Tae.
The abandoned houses were filled with dust and spider webs. The curtains had browned, and the glass in the windowpanes was cracked. Yuichi wouldn’t have been surprised if ghosts came out of the closets. But it was only for one night so Yuichi convinced himself that it was much better than sleeping outside. He found a number of futons and blankets in the closet. He didn’t know how long they had been there, but he was sure that it was long enough to be infested with mites. Stili, he didn’t want to sleep directly on the dirty floor. After mulling över the situation, he pulled out a futon and laid it out.
“Do you want one? The floor is really dirty.”
Imakura snorted in the dark at his words.
“You have no idea who’s used it. How can you think about sleeping on it?”
Yuichi kicked himself for even asking. Taking out a single futon, he put it on the ground and lay down. He was hungry, but tired enough from his hike around the island that he was certain he could sleep. Yawning listlessly, he wondered why he found himself in this position with someone so loathsome. He hadn’t wanted to come. If he had been more forthcoming in his desire not to come, he wouldn’t have had to deal with Imakura more than necessary, and he would not be angry now.
“Yuichi, you always try too hard to please everyone.”
He had lost count how many times his friend Tomoharu, the gay bar owner had said this. Tomoharu was an athletic man with a sculpted body, but spoke with a distinctively feminine voice.
“Stili, you are the gay man’s gay man. You’re kind and think of your partner, yet while you’re nice, you aren’t perfect. You’re tall, thin and handsome, and if you weren’t into younger men, I’d take you myself. I have no idea what tums you on about those hairless crotches.”
His friend sighed as he said this, but Yuichi would not give in to Tomoharu’s attraction. He could never be with anyone but a clean cut hairless man no matter how handsome or sexy, or how good a lover someone might be.
Yuichi reallzed he was gay in junior high. Ever since elementary school he had only been attracted to other boys, and he always thought it strange that his strongest crush was on Kazuki, another boy in his class. His curiosity peaked in junior high when he started to have wet dreams about other boys. He leamed from a magazine that a classmate had brought to school that there were many others like him, and reallzed that he was “gay”. It seemed unnatural, and throughout his college years he tried to keep it hidden to avoid being scomed. He even forced himself to date girls, but those relationships never lasted. Then his repressed libido exploded to the surface in the spring of his 22nd year as he was looking for job after college. When stress built up to the breaking point at work, he went to a part of town with “those kind” of establishments and then straight to a hotel with the first man he saw. He made the man scream repeatedly, and left the following moming. It had been the first time he’d stayed out all night and he was stili filled with lust. As he sat with his family for a quiet breakfast, he declared, “I’m gay”. Everybody laughed like he was joking, but seeing their eldest son’s expression, they reallzed he was serious. Yuichi got down on the ground and kowtowed in front of his parents.
“Please give up any hope of me marrying and giving you grandkids, but I will do my best to be the best son ever. In retum...”
Yuichi grabbed the collar of his younger brother, Yuji, who was twenty at the time.
“I will make it my mission to ensure that the Higashiyama line lives on through him. I promise.”
And as Yuichi had planned, his brother married a woman Yuichi introduced him to just last spring. They even had children as if forced. He’d fulfilled his duty to his parents and thought that he could now follow his own bliss. The problem was, now he could not find the right man. Not that there was any lack of men who tried to get his attention, but when he found one that he might like, it never lasted long. Tomohanı complained that he was too picky.
“They don’t stay young sexy things forever, you know. Even the most beautiful young men lose their appeal. Perhaps you should try someone your own age. If you’d like, I can introduce you to someone. There are a lot of men who come to the bar who are very attracted to you.”
But Yuichi had no intention of straying from his tastes in men. He would never say it for fear of ridicule, but he fantasized about taking in a young boy and molding him, just like Hikaru Genji in “The Tales of Genji”. But that took time and money. It wasn’t reallstic, but one can always dream. Yuichi kept up his search for a beautiful boy with white skin while satisfying his lust with whoever was convenient at the time.
He remembered that he was supposed to go to Tomoharu’s bar tonight when he got back. Tomoharu liked the condoms that Yuichi’s company made, and so he’d promised to bring some by for his friend. At the bottom of his backpack sat a handful of “Like A Virgin” which were the newest condoms from his company cursed with the worst name just like the rest of the line. As Yuichi sat on the futon growing hungry, he couldn’t help but think that he should have packed some vitamin supplements, or something else that would have helped settle his stomach. He lay silently for an hour, but it had götten dark early and he could not sleep. Hearing a sound, he looked över to find Imakura crawling on all fours över the tatami mats. Just as Yuichi was wondering what he was doing, he quickly opened the closet doors and took out a futon. Even though he insisted that he didn’t need one, he must have found that it was difficult to sleep on top of the tatami.
“I offered but you spit in my face. Idiot,” Yuichi thought to himself.
This spitefial thought helped improve his mood, and just as he was about to doze off, he could hear a crinkling noise. The sound was accompanied by the sweet smell of chocolate. “It can’t be,” he thought, and it was difficult to see, but...there was the sound of chewing and the smell grew distinct. Imakura was eating something. He couldn’t see clearly, but he was certain. “all by himself...” The moment Yuichi reallzed that he became very sad. Imakura had food with him but he’d waited until he thought Yuichi was asleep to take it out. He knew that Yuichi had nothing to eat and was hungry and yet he didn’t offer him any. Nonetheless, Yuichi couldn’t bring himself to ask for any.
It was Imakura’s food; it was his right to eat it himself. Even so.. .these were not normal circumstances. One would think Imakura might want to be helpful or would think enough to offer some. If it was Yuichi who had the food he would have given Imakura some even though he hated him. Yuichi wouldn’t let him stay hungry. Spurred by the smell, Yuichi’s stomach growled and deep in his heart, his hatred for Imakura grew.
Yuichi awoke to a chill that made him shake and loud snoring. It was stili dark, and his watch claimed it was 6 a.m. He glared at the pale pig whose snoring sounded more like a bullfrog. Quietly he opened the poorly hung door and stepped outside. The air was fresh as it can be only in the moming, but thick fog stili covered the area, giving it an eerie feel. Birds chirped, but he had no idea from which direction the sound originated.
He wanted to retum to the dock, but he couldn’t even see a few feet in front of himself and worried about getting lost. He decided to wait until the fog lifîted, and sat down on the porch. As he rubbed his eyes, he became aware of just how dirty his face was. He thought about washing it, and even tried the garden faucet, but not a single drop came out so he abandoned this plan. A laugh filled with despair bellowed out from his belly.
As he sat quietly, he reallzed that he had to pee, and when he walked to back of the house, he found something interesting. It was an old well. He took off the rusty lead cover and peered inside but it was so dark he couldn’t teli if there was water or not. He dropped in a small stone to test it and after a second he heard a faint ‘plop’. He started searching for a rope and bucket and found what he needed in the house shed. He could barely contain his excitement as he lowered the bucket on the rope into the well. The water was clear and fresh. Taking a small amount into his mouth, it was free from odor and taste. He gulped it down, and used the rest to wash his face.
“Highashiyama... .Higashiyama..
He heard his name being called. The voice was desperate, and wondering if the boat had come, he hurried back to the front of the house. There he found Imakura stumbling through the garden looking as if he were about to cry. When Imakura saw Yuichi, he brought his hand to his chest as if relieved.
“You scared me. I thought you had left me alone here.”
“Fm not you. I wouldn’t do that...” Yuichi thought it but he couldn’t say it aloud. “The cold woke me and I was walking around. I see you woke up early, too.”
Imakura snorted.
“I haven’t eaten since yesterday aftemoon. My hunger wakened me. I wish I had one of mama’s homemade chocolate muffins. Remember, I blame all of this on you. Mama must be worried. When we get back, you must apologize to her.”
As he talked, Yuichi noticed dark islands of chocolate floating around the man’s lips. He couldn’t believe Imakura would lie so openly about not eating since yesterday aftemoon, but he let it slide.
“There’s a well in back. Why don’t you try washing your face? It’s good water and you can drink it too.”
“Really? Good. I’ve been thirsty since yesterday.”
“You’re thirsty because you’ve been eating sweets,” Yuichi thought as he led Imakura to the well and drew water for him. Imakura complained that there were no cups as he drank from his palm and washed his face.
“Imakura...”
Imakura was carefiılly cleaning his face like a cat with his gingham handkerchief.

“What?”
“The area around your mouth was dirty, but it looks like you got it.”
Imakura’s shoulders jerked, and he did everything to avoid looking at Yuichi.
“Did I? The futon was just filthy.”
Yuichi became painfully aware that he could expect nothing from his companion. The fog was lifting and visibility improved. It was clear enough to see that there was no boat at the dock.
“I’ve been thinking. We don’t know when the boat might come. Why don’t we take tums keeping watch?”
The moment he said this, Imakura’s face showed his worry.
“You’ve götten me into this mess and now you want to put me to work?”
“I bet you’re hungry. We don’t know when the boat will come, so let’s have one of us keep watch while the other searches for food. Which would you rather do?”
He deliberately emphasized ‘I bet you’re hungry’. Yuichi knew that Imakura couldn’t be bothered to search for food—he had just eaten the chocolate last night-and just as he guessed Imakura chose to watch for the boat.
Leaving his backpack on the dock, Yuichi started off on his search. He had hoped that at least one of the abandoned houses might stili have some canned food, but those hopes were dashed after a quick check of each. He did find a bottle of pickled plums under the sink of one house, but when he opened the lid in joy, he found an intricate web of white and green mold. His search came up empty so he tried to soothe his empty stomach with water from the well before heading back to the dock. When Imakura saw that he was empty-handed he couldn’t hide his frown.
“Didn’t you say you were going to look for food?” These cold words were not what Yuichi wanted to hear after his disappointing search.
‘I'm sorry. I looked though a number of empty houses but didn’t find anything. I’II take över as lookout.”
“Fm not going to look for anything.” Imakura tumed his head away. “Fm not very hungry because I haven’t moved much today.”
Yuichi wanted to yeli, to scream “You were eating last night and you have all that fat to tide you över!” But instead he merely gritted his teeth and bit his tongue. “Then do you mind if I continue looking? There are more houses a little further away.”
Imakura sighed in disappoinI'ment.
“If the boat should come while you’re gone I’ll have to search for you. I don’t want to do that. It should be here soon. Why don’t you wait with me?”
Yuichi couldn’t argue with him. He held his stomach, though it hadn’t been satisfied with just water, and sat down next to Imakura. He told himself that he had to put up with this just a little bit longer.
Three hours went by and the boat didn’t show up. The sun began to set again. As the day darkened the fog retumed. Imakura headed back to the house without saying a single word to Yuichi. They both laid down on their own fiıtons without speaking.
Yuichi’s stomach was in an uproar no w and he had trouble getting to sleep. The weather was nice so the boat couldn’t have been held up by rough seas. Imakura was at the dock all day so there was no way he could have missed it. Why didn’t the boat come? Had they been forgotten? If that was the case, the omithologists would be in the same predicament. Where were they? Did the boat pick them up alone and leave Yuichi and Imakura behind? The more he thought about it, the more difficulty he had understanding why they’d been left here. Even if they’d been forgotten they both lived with their parents who were sure to put out a missing persons report. He’d filed information on their trip with the company, so they knew the two were headed for a deserted island and were sure to do something to find them. However, no matter how many times he told himself everything would be OK, his mind was stili uneasy. Just then, he heard it again: the sound of chewing. His sense of smell was three times more sensitive due to hunger and he was certain he caught whiffs of chocolate and maybe shrimp crackers. Last night he pretended he didn’t notice, but today he couldn’t hold back.
“Imakura?”
The sound of chewing came to an abrupt stop with a wet smack. Yuichi approached the round pig’s back helped by the faint light of the moon coming through the cracked window. As he approached Imakura he found him with crackers in his right hand, chocolate in his left hand, and a guilty look on his face.
“Could you please give me some crackers? I just need a few. I’m so hungry that I can’t sleep.”
Imakura lifted his face.
“I bought these with my own money. Why do I have to share them with you?”
“I know they’re yours. But I’m really hungry...
Imakura’s expression tumed from one of awkwardness to impudence.
“They’re mine. There is no reason I have to share with you, and no reason I should feel bad for not sharing.”
They were in dire straits. Instead of worrying about who spent how much on what, they should have been doing their best to help each other until they were out of trouble. Yuichi lost all faith in his boss due to his childish, selfish behavior. He had no idea that Imakura was such a heartless person. Yuichi regretted asking for the food after staring at the fat man with a look that begged not to be disappointed any further. Imakura’s response was to fiil his mouth with chocolate and munch away.
“Good. Now I don’t have to worry. I felt bad for you because I had food and you didn’t. That’s why I had no choice but to hide it from you.”
For the first time in his life Yuichi felt as though he could kili someone. He wanted to pound and kick his fat face until it was no longer recognizable and toss him into the sea. He knew he wouldn’t be able to lift the man and the absürd thought of him rolling the corpse off the dock lightened his mood considerably.
Meanwhile, Imakura stared at Yuichi through ihe thin slits of his eyelids and pursed his lips before he spoke.
“Don’t look at me like you want it so much. It’s making it hard to eat.”
Yuichi’s whole body bumed with misery. Hands clenched tight into fists, arms stiff at his sides, he left the house. Going around back, he chugged down as much water as he could. He also washed his face in an attempt to cool his anger. The only sound was his heavy breathing. Yuichi leaned his hands on the lip of the bucket and looked at his dark reflection in the water. He tumed to face the breeze and saw the dilapidated garden shining in the light of the moon. He stumbled towards a comer of the garden and began to pick what looked like dandelion leaves. He put them in his mouth and chewed. His tongue recoiled at the bittemess and the leaves tasted bad enough to make him want to vomit. Stili, he forced them down. Tears started to roll down his cheeks, but he didn’t know if they were caused by the bitter leaves or Imakura’s bitter heart.
He sat for about an hour on the porch. Even though it was May, the night was chilly and his nose started to ran. Though he didn’t want to breathe the same air as the other man, the desire for the warm soft futon was stronger. When he went inside, he saw Imakura was lying down. The only thing remaining of what he had eaten was the sweet smell. Perhaps startled by the creaking of the tatami mats the round man tumed.

“Where did you go?”
Yuichi didn’t answer.
“I was wondering what had happened when you didn’t come back. You looked so sad that I thought I would share, but I got tired of waiting and ate it myself.”
It was no doubt a lie. Once the deed is done, people will say anything to make themselves feel better. Yuichi held back his anger and merely smiled.
“Thank you for thinking of me, but you should take good care of yourself. You never know when we’II be picked up,” Yuichi said sarcastically.
“Oh, they’ll come tomorrow.” His face beamed with confidence, but Yuichi couldn’t see where that feeling had come from. “I’ve never stayed out all night without contacting my mother. I know she’ll come looking for me. I told her that I would be gone ovemight, and even though I didn’t teli her where I was going, all she has to do is call the office. She probably couldn’t make it today, but I know she’ll be here tomorrow.”
Even if Imakura’s mother didn’t come, if they were gone from the office for three days without calling in, their company was sure to find it strange and come searching for them. They should only be here for another day or two...When he considered this, the memory of desperately eating the leaves filled him with regret. Yuichi laid down on the futon with his mood as dark as the stains on his bed.
Takashi Imakura’s mother Yoshie was pale as she stood in front of Suginoki Pharmaceuticals. She was short and had fair skin, and though she was not thin, she certainly was not overweight like her son. She grasped her lace handkerchief as she looked up at the company’s sign. Her beloved son failed to come home yesterday. It was the first time he had been out ovemight without calling her, and she had not been able to sleep due to worry.

After losing her husband in a horrible accident 25 years ago, she had raised her beloved son on her own. She could only imagine the worst: he’d been kidnapped or had been in a terrible accident. She felt faint and nearly staggered. She had called his company many times but every time she got a busy signal. No longer able to contain her worry, she set out to visit Suginoki Pharmaceuticals. Just as she had seen on television, the entrance to the company was blocked by numerous cameras and men holding microphones, and the building was ringed with vans printed with the names of television stations.

“Suginoki Pharmaceuticals Fileş For Bankruptcy. $I3 Million In Debt. President Missing.”
It’s not that Yoshie was ignorant of the news that had been plastered on the front page of the newspaper yesterday, but she could only think of her son. She was finally able to squeeze in between the reporters and make it to the entrance. But the doors were locked tight. As the day wore on she wandered to the back of the building and saw a young man entering a back door. Without thinking, she sidled up behind him and followed. Though the man was startled by her sudden appearance he listened to her story.
 

“I’m not in the Product Development DeparI'ment, so I don’t know...there’s an utter State of confusion inside...Perhaps you should ask someone in that deparI'ment.”
He let her in, under strict instructions that she teli no one that he’d done so. She walked down a narrow corridor until she reached the entrance lobby which was filled with young men running around with fileş. The receptionist was in över her head answering the phones and in no position to acknowledge her, but as she looked around, she found a directory next to the elevators. The Product Development DeparI'ment where her son worked was on the second floor. She was too impatient to wait for the elevator and used the stairs. The room labeled Product Development DeparI'ment was a scary sight. Though it was not as bustling as the lobby, the phones were ringing off the hook and the sound of angry people could be heard from all comers.
“I told you that we lowly workers don’t know anything. We hear about the bankruptcy on the news. Delivery? Does it really look like we’re in any position to talk about that?” The middle aged man screamed into the phone. Yoshie looked around, and finding a young woman who looked kind, approached her.
“Um.. .do you mind if I ask you a question?” The long-haired woman looked exhausted as she tumed around.
“Good aftemoon. I’m Takashi Imakura’s mother.” The woman nodded and looked confused. Yoshie took one step forward.
“I’m sorry to bother you but...my son hasn’t come home since yesterday. I was worried and came here looking for information.”
The woman looked as though she’d seen a ghost. Yoshie had to wonder if she had said something wrong.
“He’s never stayed out all night without permission. I can’t help but worry that while on this business trip he’s been kidnapped or...murdered...oh my...”
The woman was clearly perplexed.
“Mr. Imakura is not my superior, so.. .could you please wait a moment? I’II ask one of his subordinates.”
The woman came back after a minute.
“Mr. Imakura is on a business trip with Mr. Higashiyama. Mr. Higashiyama has left his home and celi phone number. Please call him.”
Yoshie thanked the woman and took the post-it with the phone numbers out with her into the hail and called the number immediately. The celi phone number didn’t work, and when she called his home, a woman answered. She said that Higashiyama had not yet come home and that he hadn’t called. The woman didn’t seem nearly as concemed as Yoshie was. Yoshie was disappointed that she hadn’t leamed anything new and hung up. She retumed to the room to speak to the woman again.
“Um...they said they’re both out on business and their son hasn’t come home yet. Where did they go?”
“I really can’t say. I don’t know.” The young woman furrowed her brow as if bothered that Yoshie had come back. Her tone made it clear that she didn’t want to talk anymore, but Yoshie wouldn’t give up.
“You could be more helpful. If something has happened to him, your company is liable.”
In response the woman slammed the papers she was holding onto the table.
“Not helpful? I told you that I don’t work with Mr. Imakura. If he took off on his own we have no way of knowing where he went.”
“Fine. I understand. I won’t bother you anymore, but I will find my son. Could you at least teli me where he went?” Yoshie was angered by the receptionist’s attitude. The woman stood up, tumed her back dismissively, and walked to a filing cabinet in the comer with her heels clacking on the tile floor as she went. The place had otherwise grown quiet.
“Doesn’t she know what’s going on today,” the woman said under her breath. But she’d made sure to say it loud enough so Yoshie could hear her above the rustling of fileş. “They’ve gone to Naha in Okinawa.” She spat the words after she’d retumed to her seat. “What part of Naha?”
“It doesn’t say. It only says ‘Naha’.”
Yoshie did not cower at her aggressive tone but smiled a sad little smile before she spoke.
“Thank you. I’m sorry to bother you on this busy day.”
She tumed and left the building. She’d traveled to Okinawa once with her late husband. She could pack some things and buy a ticket.. .and.. .Yoshie had no idea that the woman had mistakenly taken out a business trip file from the previous year. There was no way she could know that her son was not in Naha, but on a deserted island off the coast of Shizuoka.
The third day passed without the hint of a boat on the horizon. Yuichi had spent the day looking for food in the abandoned houses, but found nothing. As the sun started to set, his stomach growled endlessly and he retumed to the house he was using as a shelter. Imakura was laying on his futon. Yuichi had asked him to watch for a boat, but he probably came back early when the fog started to roll in. As Yuichi sat on his own futon, Imakura tumed.
“Did you find anything?”
“What?”
“Any food? You did look for food today, didn’t you?” Imakura’s sarcastic tone felt like a blow to Yuichi’s chest.
“I looked, but I didn’t find anything.”
Imakura sat up heavily.
“What were you doing then? If you didn’t find anything, you wasted a whole day.”
“There really wasn’t anything...”
Snorting, Imakura tumed away from Yuichi. Yuichi was certain his attitude was caused by his mood and then he understood the reason for his disposition. A stomach growled ravenously and it wasn’t his. After a few seconds, it happened again like the roar of a lion trapped in the man’s gut. Yuichi began smiling unconsciously. On day three, Imakura had finally run out of the food he refiısed to share with Yuichi. Thinking that justice was finally being served, Yuichi laid down on his futon and laughed hard enough that his shoulders shook. He was so happy that he almost forgot just how hungry he was. Imakura ignored him lost in his own troubles.
On the moming of the fourth day, Yuichi caught Imakura gulping down water from the well. It made him feel superior to see Imakura now trying to placate his empty stomach by filling it with water just as he had done. He once again went in search of food as Imakura kept watch but he grew tired after walking just a short distance. Not having eaten in three days, and all the while walking around the island, his strength was finally giving out. Starvation became a real fear.
As he rested in the shade of a tree, he figured out that he had to do more than look in houses. He should start foraging for nuts and other natural foods. He walked to a field behind one of the empty houses. In one weedy comer, looking closely, he found something that looked like carrot leaves. He pulled one, and though it was misshaped, there was a carrot at the end. He pulled up ten more, his mind in a haze, and found more around him. He was happier than when he passed his university entrance exam and threw up his hands, stili holding the carrots, in a victory pose. Dirt rained down on him.
Yuichi pulled up about 20 half-wild carrots and took them to the abandoned house they were using as shelter. He collected some kindling and dried grass and lit it with matches he’d found during his search. Sticking a carrot on a stick, he cooked it över the open fire. He couldn’t wait for it to warm through and ended up eating it like an animal. The middle was stili raw, but he only tasted the sweetness. It was delicious and he shed tears of happiness. He cooked five more, put them in a pot he found in the house, and headed for the dock. He hated Imakura enough that he would kili him if not for the legal consequences, but he knew better than anybody the misery of an empty stomach. Also, he didn’t want to be the type of person who hoarded all of the food or he’d become a hypocrite and as bad as the fat man.
“Would you like some?” he yelled toward the round back sitting on the dock. Imakura dashed toward the pot, but did not hide his disgust when he looked inside it.
“I don’t like vegetables.”
“But you haven’t eaten since yesterday. I’ve already had one and it was really good.”
“I don’t like them.” Even as he spoke his stomach was growling. If he didn’t want any, then fine.. .but Yuichi tried another tactic.
“Even if you don’t like them, if you don’t eat, the hunger will keep you up.”
Imakura bit his lip and stared at the carrots. His head shot up.
“Don’t talk like you know me. If I starve to death.. .it will be your fault!”
Yuichi sighed at his childish behavior.
“It’s not starvation if you have food but refuse to
eat it.”
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t be so childish. Eat. They’re really good.”

Yuichi reached in the pot for a carrot and ate it, making sure to make as much noise chewing as possible. Imakura looked like he was about to cry and his mouth hung open. His round clenched hands started shaking. He was hungry but he didn’t like carrots. Yuichi could see the battle in his head played out in his eyes. Suddenly, his right hand was hit and there was a loud clang. It was över in an instant. Imakura had kicked the pot. The pot fell on the concrete, and the carrots scattered everywhere.
“Oops. I just meant to stretch my leg. I didn’t reallze I would hit it.”
Imakura grinned impishly. Without saying anything Yuichi picked up the carrots. From now on, no matter how much Imakura begged there was no way he would ever share food with him. He made this decision in lieu of yelling. As he reached for the last carrot a dark shadow suddenly fell upon it. Without having time to figüre out what was happening, the carrot was crushed underfoot. Lifting his head, Yuichi saw that quadruple chin.
“You were just going to throw it away anyways.”
Imakura dug his heel into the carrot and shook his shoulders in an exaggerated fashion.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you thinking about eating it off the ground? That would make you no better than a dog. Worse than a dog...”
Yuichi snapped. He’d been able to hold back until now because his companion was his boss and had power över him. But that ended now. Yuichi stood up quickly and grabbed Imakura by the shirt. The round pig’s face showed both surprise and fear. That made Yuichi happy.
“If I’m worse than a dog then you’re worse than a cockroach!” He growled this in Imakura’s ear and then punched him in the face. The three hundred pound giant screamed loudly as he fell back onto the concrete. He started to crawl like a Caterpillar while sobbing in pain.
“Fil sue you for assault. I...FII teli my
mother!”
Now that Yuichi had lost all patience, his iron expression also gave way.
“Good. Just try suing me for assault. I’ll pound you to death first! What do you mean ‘dog’? If I’m a dog, you’re a white pig. You just keep getting fatter and fatter, and stili talk about your mama. You make me sick, you mother-loving freak.”
Stili holding his cheek, Imakura looked at Yuichi with an expression of disbelief. Yuichi felt sick just looking at his obese body and kicked him hard in the ass. Imakura screamed in pain and tried to scrabble out of range.
“Go away! This is all your fault! I should have never trusted you to make plans for the boat! I am the victim here!”
“Shut the hell up!”
Yuichi swung his leg and Imakura covered his head and cowered. Like a cat playing with a mouse Yuichi tapped Imakura’s back with his foot.
 
“For the sake of both of our sanities, I think we should each live on our own. From now on we’ll look out for ourselves. I’m sure it’II be easier on you as well.”
Yuichi left Imakura coiled in fear. He went back to the house and collected his things. From the entrance, he could see the large figüre stili motionless on the dock, but he ignored his boss and headed south down the dirt road.
The house Yuichi had been using with Imakura was close to the dock but now he picked another house from among a group of five that sat about a quarter of a mile away. He chose it because it was stili in relatively good shape and there was a good well in back. Sitting cross-legged in the middle of the main room, Yuichi thought deeply about his predicament. Four day s had passed without anyone coming to pick them up. He’d left information about where they were going and where they were staying at the office so that anybody who wanted to find them shouldn’t have a problem. Perhaps they wanted to come but couldn’t. He started to worry. Perhaps there had been an accident, or someone got hurt... Had something happened to his family that kept them from being able to search? If that was the case, there was no telling how long he’d be here.
Then a terrible thought crossed his mind. That reasoning worked if it was just him, but Imakura was here too. If that fat pig was spoiled so much by his mother, there is no way she would sit by doing nothing. Something must be very wrong.

If he sat around, he would think too much, which was not a good thing. He knew himself that well. To combat his sense of dread Yuichi cleaned his new home. He started by separating the useful items from those that had no use. He’d already rummaged through the neighboring houses and gathered eating utensils and a kettle, pots, and candles. He also found a fire stand and even a sack of charcoal to use with it. He’d seen a fire stand used a long time ago at his grandfather’s house in the country and knew that it could be used in place of a stove. It was difficult to manage but it was easier than building an öven out of rocks the way he’d leamed at summer camp years ago.
Cleaning helped keep his mind off everything that could go wrong but he stopped when he thought that a boat could come and he might be wasting his time. But then he reallzed how much more comfortable he would be if everything was in place if he had to wait a week, so he started cleaning again. He opened the window to let in fresh air. As he wiped the filthy tatami mats with an equally filthy rag he thought about how much easier things were now that he was alone. When he was with Imakura he was constantly paying attention to him.. .and putting up with his abuse. It was like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.
The house Yuichi chose stood on a hill facing south so he could see the dock and the ocean from its porch. He could watch for boats without having to go down the hill. Stili, he had to forage for food so he couldn’t be on the lookout all day long. Yuichi tore a sheet he had found next door, and used charcoal to write ‘SOS’ on it in case any passing boat had reason to look on shore. In the evening, before the fog rolled in, he went to the field he had found earlier and harvested more carrots. He looked around to see if there was anything else and was rewarded by discovering potatoes. That night he feasted on boiled carrots and potatoes. The piping hot potatoes were a delicious addition to his current diet. He was fiili, and when it got dark he naturally got sleepy. He curled up on the fiıton that he’d aired out during the day and closed his eyes. He planned on boiling down sea water the next day to make salt because with salt, the food would taste even better.
Yuichi yawned widely. Separating from Imakura had been the best thing that had happened since he’d götten here. He should have done it earlier, and mocked himself for putting up with his boss as long as he did.
The next moming before dawn, Yuichi headed straight for the dock. When he got there he hoisted the message flag he’d made the day before onto a rusted light post. On his way back he glanced towards Imakura’s chosen house but he didn’t detect any sound or movement. He spent the rest of the moming on the porch looking out över the waves. Around 9:00, he saw the enormous figüre sitting on the dock as Imakura began his daily watch. The sky was clear and blue, birds chirped, and the sea was calm, but there was no boat to be seen on the horizon.
Yuichi got hungry in the aftemoon so he retumed to the field. While digging for potatoes he heard a sound and tumed to see grey rabbit hopping away. That night, he repaired the hole in a large bamboo cage that he’d found earlier and ignored. It was so flimsy that he wondered if it would work, but he was able to catch a rabbit with it. He wasted no time roasting it över a fire. Even without spices, this was the first meat he’d eaten in a long time and nothing he’d eaten before had tasted better. As he ate, Imakura’s face floated in his mind and he wondered what Imakura could be eating. In view of their recent difficulties, he told himself not to think about him and hardened his heart.
Several days passed. He would watch for boats in the momings and search for food in the aftemoons. It didn’t take long for Yuichi’s life to form a pattem. He found that instead of eating the rabbits immediately after catching them it was better to keep them and feed them until he needed the food. He used a birdcage from another house to house them. There were stili a lot of carrots and potatoes in the large field to so food was abundant. Once he reallzed he no longer had to worry about food things got easier and it merely became a time of waiting.
On the seventh day of being left behind Yuichi made his usual meal of carrots and potatoes. Then, map in hand, he hiked to the highest point on the island. The hill was not that tall and the walk only took an hour. From this vantage point, he could see far out över the ocean. The wind was strong, and he brushed the hair from his face as he looked över the water that seemed to stretch forever. He thought about building a raft to escape the island but then he remembered the fisherman talking about how the changing currents made the waters in this area so dangerous. Instead of taking the risk it would be better to wait for someone to come get them.
“I wonder why no one has come.He didn’t mean to speak aloud, but the words escaped his mouth. He noticed that he’d been talking to himself more and more över the past several days. One week had passed since they’d been lefit on the island. Why weren’t they looking for him? Why hadn’t they come? What had kept them from coming? Wasn’t his family worried about him? Yuichi shook his head and felt very alone. He reminded himself to keep a positive attitude and started to head down the hill.
He passed by the dock on his way back but Imakura wasn’t there. He peeked through the garden of the house but saw no one. Imakura did have water, and even if he had no food for a few days, he must have had enough fat stored in that enormous body of his. There was no way he would have simply died. He probably just got tired of keeping watch.
Retuming home, Yuichi made soup with a rabbit he’d caught and added carrots and potatoes. This time he flavored it with salt. But as soon as he sipped the soup, Imakura’s fat face popped up in his mind. He started to worry if Imakura had found anything to eat but then remembered how he had smashed the carrot with his foot and chastised himself for worrying about someone who didn’t deserve it.
That night, he had trouble sleeping. His mind wavered between thoughts of why no one had come to rescue them and when rescuers would arrive. The solitude and quiet of the surroundings only fanned the flames of his thoughts. Uneasiness mixed with loneliness, and even though he had götten a lot of exercise on his hike, he couldn’t fail asleep.
The first thing Yuichi did each moming when he woke up was to make a mark on a pillar. Today he made his eighth mark as he had been here eight days. He followed his moming routine by washing his face and then wondered what he would do today. He already had a supply of carrots and potatoes and he was holding another rabbit he’d trapped. He even had leftover soup from yesterday, enough so that he wouldn’t have to forage for food for a few days.
“I guess Fil start by eating.” Again he spoke out loud as he stated a fire under the fire stand. He heated up the leftover soup and poured it into a bowl he had scavenged from next door.
“This is pretty good.” There was no one to answer. This was probably the longest he had ever gone without talking to someone else.
“I wonder if he’s eaten anything.” Yuichi sighed. He’d eaten everything in the bowl, but there was stili another helping left in the pot. Guilt ate at him just like he ate his food.
“I doubt he’s eaten anything good.”
He stared at the soup in the pot.
“I haven’t seen him since yesterday.”
Again he doubted that Imakura was dead but Yuichi became more worried the moment he had that thought. At one point he had seriously thought about killing the man, but if Imakura actually died, he would never be able to forgive himself. Not if he had food and hadn’t shared. Finally, he picked up the pot. He rationallzed that in his loneliness he’d only keep worrying about Imakura if he didn’t see him. But the truth was he wanted someone to talk to and he didn’t care whom. He could say ‘hello,’ give him some soup, ignore his abuse, and come back.
When he arrived at Imakura’s house a quarter mile down by the shore the place was very stili. He was pretty sure Imakura was in the house because he hadn’t gone to the dock, but he might have gone off in search of food. But if he wasn’t there, he wasn’t there. Yuichi knocked on the door.
“Hello.”
There was no answer. Yuichi tumed, thinking Imakura must be out, but then he heard moaning from within. He threw the door open to check inside.
The room was dark even during the day. There was something round laying on the futon inside and it was groaning. Imakura was lying on his stomach with only his head facing Yuichi. His face was white and his lips were pale. The second Imakura saw Yuichi, his red eyes welled up in tears and he started sobbing uncontrollably.
“What happened?” Yuichi hurried to him. The pig’s face was no w covered in tears and snot, and his words where shaky as they passed his colorless lips.
“My stomach...it won’t stop hurting. And I have diarrhea.”
A tear fell on Yuichi’s hand.
 
“It hurts so much...”
He was rolled up into a ball, and even though he was a big man, he shook like a small animal. Looking at this pitiful sight, Yuichi couldn’t help but regret that he hadn’t come earlier. He could have done something to ease his pain.
“What did you do? Did you drink too much water? Or eat something bad?”
“I was so hungry.. .I ate...”
“I can’t hear you. What did you eat?”
“I ate grass and my stomach...”
Yuichi was shocked when he heard the word
“grass.”
“I was so hungry and couldn’t stop myself...” Imakura cried hard. While Yuichi was enjoying his rabbit, the man who’d once crushed a carrot he’d refiısed to eat had fallen so far that he was forced to eat grass from the garden. And now here he was standing över the crying man brought so low by hunger. It was then he remembered what few supplies the team had brought ashore for their trip included some company-provided goods.
“Wait! That’s right! I have something. You recall those portable first aid kits the company created that didn’t seli well? I think it has some stomach medicine. Fil go get it.”
But as he was about to go, Imakura grabbed his right wrist.
“Don’t...don’t go.”
Yuichi paused when he saw Imakura’s fevered expression.

“I’m just going to get the medicine.”
Imakura shook his head wildly.
“Don’t. You might not come back. You won’t help me, and I will die alone in this godforsaken place. I don’t want that to happen.”
“I won’t leave you to die.”
But Imakura’s grip got even tighter.
“But you hate me. You hate me enough to punch me.” Imakura started to bawl again. “I don’t want to be alone. Not any more. I don’t want to die here.”
Yuichi understood his fear. Even he had grown lonely and he had been well. But no matter how many times he tried to assure Imakura the man would not listen. Instead of feeling sympathy, Yuichi grew angry again at his childish behavior.
“Just shut up. And stop crying.” When he yelled at Imakura the man stopped crying immediately just like an obedient child. Now that Yuichi had shattered his emotionless exterior there was no reason to hold back.
“I said I was just going to get the medicine. Let go of me. If you don’t, then I really won’t come back.” Imakura let go but slowly and reluctantly. He looked at Yuichi with red, watery eyes. This made it hard for Yuichi to leave, but he needed the medicine if he was to help the man. Yuichi ran the half mile round trip at fiili speed. When he retumed, the relief was clear on Imakura’s face. He wiped his nose with his hand. Since taking the medicine on an empty stomach might just upset the fat man’s stomach even more, Yuichi suggested that Imakura have some of the soup. Even though he had diarrhea, it was not enough to overcome his extreme hunger, and when he saw the soup he could not hold back. He looked like was going to drink it all in one gulp. Yuichi told him to slow down, and threatened to not share again unless he did. Imakura obeyed and took his time drinking the rest. After eating and taking the medicine, Imakura laid down on the futon.
“Feeling any better?”
Imakura nodded and said, “Yes” just like a child.
“Once the medicine kicks in, your diarrhea will stop.”
“OK”, Imakura answered gently.
Seeing his boss all weak and obedient Yuichi couldn’t help but think that Imakura might have had a cute side once. A single shake of Yuichi’s head threw that thought out. If eating grass brought on the diarrhea, he would check on Imakura in the moming and give him something easier to digest. Imakura kept gazing at Yuichi from the futon and his staring was embarrassing. Yuichi stood up and Imakura excitedly got up too.
“Are you leaving?” he asked quietly.
‘I'm just going to the bathroom.”
“Oh...”
The fat man relaxed and laid down again. When Yuichi left the room he noticed an odor coming from the kitchen. He peeked into a pot that seemed to be the source of the smell and found small brown objects floating in a foul concoction. When he thought of Imakura eating this he became even sadder. He retumed from the toilet with a heavy heart to find Imakura sobbing heavily having crawled under the futon.
 
“Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I want my mommy. Mama...”
Yuichi’s skin crawled hearing this.
“Come out here”, he yelled, and Imakura crawled out from the futon. Yuichi stuck his index finger against the man’s red nose.
“Listen. It’s not normal for a man in his thirties to say ‘mama’. It just shows how much of a mama’s boy you are. You have to stop relying on her and stand up on your own. I used to wonder why you were so irresponsible, but now I know why. You are completely dependent on your mother. You need to take responsibility for yourself.”
Imakura bit his lip and grasped the futon with his fat fingers as he spoke. “I am self-dependent. I have a salary...”
Yuichi pounded the tatami mat. Imakura jumped at the sound.
“It’s not a problem of money. It has to do with psychology.”
Imakura pouted in silence, but looked like he wanted to say something.
“I was always sick when I was young. That is why mama stili worries about me. Even I’ve felt she goes too far sometimes...”
At least he reallzed his problem.
“First, you have to become independent of your mother. Don’t rely on anyone but yourself. Leam to control your actions. You are mentally lazy and that’s why you’re so fat.”
But when he heard the word ‘fat’ Imakura’s expression hardened.
“You’re a man no w, but you stili gobble down chocolate...”
The moment he said ‘chocolate’ Imakura started to break down. For the first time he must have reallzed how much his hoarding had hurt Yuichi and this made him crawl back into safety of the futon again.
Imakura found the courage to speak suddenly. “My image of you has changed completely över these past few days. I used to think you were a nicer person. I didn’t know you were so coarse and ill- mannered.”
Yuichi laughed when he heard the muffled voice from the futon speaking these words.
“This is the real me. Spending time with a spoiled fool like you has broken down the façade I tried so hard to create”, Yuichi snorted. “So...how did your first knuckle sandwich taste? Did it hurt? Good. That means you won’t go against me again. This is a serious situation. We’re alone, obviously abandoned and there’s no reason to stand on ceremony. If you do something I don’t like, I’ll pound some sense into you.”
Imakura went white and pulled his head further into the futon. Yuichi slapped his round back while laughing.
‘I'm just kidding. I won’t hit you unless you act spoiled.”
Imakura slowly pulled his head out of the fiıton and checked Yuichi’s expression to see if he really meant what he said. Yuichi bonked him on the forehead with his outstretched hand and the chubby giant shuddered.
 
“You don’t have a fever. Your stomach pain should clear up soon too.”
He tumed when he heard the sound of something falling softly on the roof. In a sudden burst it had started to rain. It was coming down steadily enough to obscure the view outside. It had been clear a few minutes ago, and the rain was a grim reminder of just how quickly the weather could change on the island. He had an umbrella but thinking it wouldn’t rain, he didn’t bring it with him.
“It’s raining...I’m going to go back to my place before it gets too heavy.”
Imakura stood the second he said this.
“You’re going to leave your sick companion behind?” He shook his head wildly side to side. “What if I suddenly take a tum for the worse and die?”
Yuichi didn’t take kindly to these dramatics. “If you are healthy enough to talk like that, there’s no way you are going to die.”
“No. Don’t go.” Imakura’s desperate tone made Yuichi pause but he knew that he couldn’t give in or else today’s lessons would be lost.
“Please.. .please stay,” Imakura said in a lonely tone. “I’m afraid when I’m alone. There is nothing here, and no one to talk to...”
Yuichi was shocked to hear someone who had only given him orders or abuse in the past say ‘please’ to him. Even though he knew that he shouldn’t encourage him he was touched by the pitiful figüre before him. He understood his loneliness. After all, he had only checked on Imakura because he wanted someone’s company-anyone’s. Outside, the rainfall increased. He knew he would have nothing to do once he got back to his own house. He gave up on the idea of leaving. When Imakura asked, “Are you staying,” he answered “Yes.”

The stress on Imakura’s face disappeared and he laid down on the futon. Within thirty minutes he was asleep and breathing lightly like a gentle animal. Yuichi gazed out the window at the rain. Now that Imakura was asleep it was like he was alone again. Stili, there was someone here with him, so technically he was not alone. That thought cheered him up even if that companion was someone he thought he hated. Suddenly, he shivered. It was a little chilly. He closed the door as well as the window, but this made the room extremely dark. He laid down on the tatami. The only sound was that of the falling rain. He thought this must be the first time he had just sat quietly and listened to the rain. He rolled över and his back began to hurt. He went to the closet to get the futon he had been using but it wasn’t there. Not only that all the fiıtons were gone except the one that Imakura was using.
“What did he do with them...?” The sound of Yuichi’s voice must have awakened him because Imakura tumed his head.
“What happened to all of the fiıtons?”
“I soiled them so I threw them out.” Imakura answered as if talking in his sleep.
Yuichi tried to imagine how bad they must have been for the pitiful pig to dispose of them. Had he vomited on them or was it something else? He thought it best not to ask for details.

“Did you want a futon?”
“I would like one, but I can sleep on the tatami if I have to.”
Even before he finished, Imakura had crawled out of his own futon.
“You can have this one.”
“Then you won’t have anywhere to sleep.”
“I don’t need it.”
It was an amazing offer from a man who just a few days ago wouldn’t even give up a piece of chocolate. He was willing to go this far to make sure that Yuichi didn’t leave. Stili, Yuichi was not that base. He couldn’t take the fiıton from someone who was feeling so bad. “I’m fine. You take it.”
“No, you.”
Neither would give any ground. Half joking, Yuichi suggested, “Okay then, let’s sleep together.”
“Fine with me.” Without pause, Imakura retumed to the futon, but stayed well to one side. The empty half stood out in a strange way. Yuichi had been the one to suggest it, and it wouldn’t look good if he refused now. He got in with Imakura but it wasn’t comfortable. If Imakura had known he was gay, would he have invited him in so easily? Yuichi didn’t think so. He couldn’t help but be rclicvcd that Imakura was a 300 pound behemoth. He liked thin, handsome young men and Imakura was the exact opposite. If he were more normal-sized and had a better personallty, Yuichi might be tempted to break his period of forced celibacy. He thought about the men he had slept with...even the one-night stands. Each and every one was thin and they all had boyish faces. He had friends who were chubby chasers, and spoke passionately of the joys of fat, but Yuichi had never understood the attraction.

Yuichi breathed in. There was a sweet, acrid odor that made his heart jump. It was almost like the sweet odor of a child. He breathed in deeper, hoping to get a better whiff. He tried to stop himself, chiding himself that this was Imakura he was smelling, but he could not deny the strange attraction. Then he started to notice little things, like the warmth of the huge back he was pressed against. He didn’t want to be so close, but there was only so far he could get from Imakura’s massive body without falling completely off the futon.

Despite their dire situation, he couldn’t help but think that the damage done to their relationship would not be repaired that easily. He noticed that Imakura’s breathing had become regular. He got up gently and looked down on his sleeping face. The more he thought about it, the more he felt he would be able to calm the anger that Imakura had caused. His face was not that bad. That was the judgment of a fair mind. No, no. Just look at that quadruple chin. There are four of them...four! But if he lost weight, he wouldn’t be bad looking. Unable to suppress his curiosity, Yuichi touched one of the folds of the chin with his finger. Imakura’s eyes opened wide.
“What?”
“Uh.. .um...there was something..
He pulled his finger back in haste.
“I’m tired because I kept having to get up to go to the bathroom last night.”
 

His half open eyes showed his displeasure as he tumed his head. Yuichi rubbed his finger. Imakura’s skin had been very, very soft. He liked it. He wondered if just his chin was this way, or if his whole body was as well. He heard himself gulp.
Yuichi laid down again, and pretending to move he touched Imakura’s arm. Though the skin was milky white, his fat arm resembled a boneless ham. Stili, it was soft and seemed like a pillow for his finger. Yuichi had had sex with many men but this was the first time he had experienced skin that felt so good. If his whole body was covered with skin like this...he gulped again. He wondered how it would feel to hold his naked body.
His head was filled with dangerous thoughts. Was he insane? Who did he think this man was? This was Imakura. The obese monster Imakura. How could he even think about lusting after him? Yuichi put his head in his hands. His dignity was at stake. He had to purge these thoughts by making Imakura even less desirable. Using his imagination, he formed an image of a naked Imakura in his head. He gave him five chins, and an even larger belly like a figurine of the Buddha. He had never seen his crotch, but he made it small based on the rumors he’d heard. He thought this would do the trick, but.. .even though he normally wouldn’t give Imakura a second look, in his mind, he imagined throwing himself at Imakura.
“Hey, I’m not a chubby chaser.” No matter how many times he told himself so, in his imagination he was lifting Imakura’s legs and inserting his cock into Imakura’s tight ass.
 
 
Yuichi hurriedly got up and stumbled outside. He went behind the house and dropped his pants. Stili fantasizing about pounding Imakura, he came twice. His penis, pointing straight towards the heavens, looked sad in the rain. He had no principles. He was not normal. These were dire circumstances...he tried to the calm himself as he retumed inside. Imakura was deep asleep. His mouth was half open and he was snoring slightly. He looked fat and defenseless just like a newbom. Yuichi scared himself when he thought how cute Imakura looked. “No...no he’s not...not at all”. And yet he couldn’t take his eyes off him. He could not repress his desire either. Yuichi touched Imakura’s arm again. It was so soft that he did not want to stop. Imakura’s eyes opened slightly, but he didn’t seem to notice and closed them again.
The rain stopped later that evening, and while Imakura slept, Yuichi retumed to his own house. When he came back the next moming, Imakura was up and about. He was smiling and said that his stomach no longer hurt and the medicine had worked well. Yuichi brought steamed potatoes and salt which made Imakura’s eyes sparkle. He ate them like they were the most delicious food in the world and his childish delight brought a smile to Yuichi’s face. He found himself gazing at Imakura, but then felt uncomfortable when he became aware of the fact. When he was finished eating, Imakura laid down like a sated eat.
“Imakura.”
“What is it?” The large man didn’t get up but just tumed his head.
“A week has passed since we were left behind. At first we thought someone would come right away but that hasn’t happened. We don’t know why, but we have to do our best to get by until someone does come.”
Imakura rose and nodded with a serious expression and so Yuichi went on.
“We can’t have you becoming suddenly ili again. These are unusual circumstances, and if we are going to live together, we are going to have to help each other out.”
“I agree.” The answer was quick and positive, a change that made Yuichi pause. He cleared his throat and continued.
“If we’re going to live together we should split up chores. I'II search for food and while. I’m out you can cook and clean here.”
“You want me to cook?” Imakura’s eyes narrowed once more, and his brow wrinkled. “Mama always said that men do not belong in the kitchen.
“Okay. You can search for food then. That’s fine with me.”
Imakura shook his head. Even he knew that he wasn’t cut out for such labor.
Now came the important part. Yuichi put his hands on his hips.
“From now on, I’II be the leader.”
Imakura was caught off guard and frowned.
“Are you saying I have to follow your orders?”
Yuichi laughed.
 
“I’m not you, so I won’t say anything that doesn’t make sense. If you don’t like it, I won’t live with you. We’ll split up and take care of our own needs like we have been.”
Imakura could hardly refiıse—he did not have the ability to make it on his own.
This was the beginning of their second attempt at living together and it got off to a good start. Once Yuichi asserted his dominance Imakura showed little resistance. They decided they would live in the house that Yuichi had been using because it was in better shape. Once they decided on chores Imakura worked harder. He was not happy with the prospect of cooking (he had never even held a knife before) but once he got used to it, he found that he was good at it. He leamed to use salt and herbs for flavor and even had a talent for arranging food in an appetizing way on the plate. He did have a bad habit of munching in between meals but Yuichi pretended not to notice because he didn’t want to seem like he was harping.
Once they got used to life on the island the nights became tedious. They found candles and that allowed them to stay up later. But with no television or radio the nights seemed very long. Then Imakura found a deck of cards in the house. They played cards by candlelight to pass the time and when they got tired of that they talked.
“Papa died in a car accident when I was young. That’s why mama never wanted me to get a license. I don’t mind being driven around by others but I want to try it myself sometime.” Imakura no longer acted like he was the boss and was more like a na'ı've schoolboy.
“That’s your mother talking. If you want a license then you should get one. Even if your father did die in an accident that doesn’t mean that you will. As long as you follow safety rules and don’t speed you shouldn’t get into an accident.”
Imakura could not hide his pleasure.
“Really? I’ve always wanted to drive, but she would never let me. When we get back I’m going to teli her that I want a license.”
“You don’t need her permission. You can get one if you want. You’re an adult. You can make your own decisions.”
Imakura looked down and was silent.
“Think about it. Parents usually die before their children. If your mother died and you couldn’t make decisions, what would you do?”
“Don’t talk like that!” Imakura pursed his lips and tumed his back. He always did this when he didn’t like something. It was no use trying to talk to someone with such a habit. If Yuichi let it go Imakura’s mood would improve by the moming.
“How come you’re so much more mature than me even though you’re younger. It makes me angry,” blurted Imakura.
“I’m normal. It’s just that you’re a spoiled and a mama’s boy.”
Imakura tumed red with embarrassment. “Whether it was school or work I’ve never made my own decisions. I’ve always done what mama wanted me to. But everything worked out. Mama even decided that I should get a job with our company.” The more the man talked the more he confirmed his dependence on his mother.
“Didn’t you ever have dreams about what you wanted to be when you grew up?”
Imakura didn’t answer right away and seemed reluctant to say anything. Their single candle sputtered on a drop of moisture.
“I like wine...and there was a time I wanted to be a sommelier. I told mama, but she said I should forget about such unstable work.”
“That’s a bad rap. Even if your mother objected you stili should have gone ahead with your dream. You don’t really like your current job, do you?”
Imakura was shocked when confronted with this hard truth.
“People can teli just by working with you that your heart’s not in it. That is why no one likes you.”
“No one...?” Imakura was obviously hurt and maybe a little stunned.
Yuichi hesitated. He didn’t know if he should teli Imakura what the others had said about him. He didn’t want to hurt him more but it could be constructive...” “A lot of people don’t like you. Do you know why?
“Because I’m fat?”
Yuichi chuckled then stifled it thinking he had better explain.
“That’s only secondary. You never apologize when you make a mistake. You always blame someone else. Yet when someone else makes a mistake you berate them. You’re the classic example of someone who is too easy on themselves and too hard on others. Nobody wants a boss like that.”
There was only the two of them and Imakura had nowhere to flee but he seemed to want to. He stared down at the ground and bit his lip.
“Even if you weren’t that good at work if you put your entire effort into it there would be people who would follow you. If you won’t even do that you’ll get no respect. That’s how it is now. But you can take this opportunity to change. Remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Before you speak, think how your words will affect the person. If you do these things, your reputation will improve markedly.”
Something plopped on the tatami mat. Imakura seemed deep in thought. Yuichi must have hit a nerve. Imakura was not unaware of his problems, and when pointed out so clearly, he was filled with regret and the tears followed.
“There’s no need to cry.”
Seeing his boss weep in silence Yuichi felt like going över and holding him. He wanted to comfort him and teli- him not to cry.
“Perhaps my words were too rough. I’m sorry.”

“How dare you? I’m older than you,” sobbed Imakura. His tears were uncontrollable as he wiped his nose with a sleeve.
“It may hurt you to say so, but you don’t act older than me. You’re more like a younger brother.”

Yuichi placed his hand on Imakura’s head even though it felt strange to do so. After gently rubbing it a few times he touched his chin. The skin was soft and felt nice and he rubbed it like he would the chin of a cat. The look in Imakura’s eyes told him that this was uncomfortable so Yuichi pulled his fingers back with a jerk and chuckled.
“You don’t have much of a beard. There’s hardly any hair there at all.” This was the only excuse he would come up with for touching him. Imakura agreed as he touched his chin himself.
“There is hardly anything there. You have quite a beard going though.”
“That’s because I haven’t shaved in ten days...”
Yuichi brought his hand to his unkempt beard. Even he was tumed off by its roughness but there wasn’t much he could do. They hadn’t found anything even resembling a razor.
“I’ve always wanted an unkempt beard like that. I don’t have much body hair and it makes me sad when I see myself naked. What I really want is a good patch of chest hair or hair on my legs.”
When Yuichi heard him say he didn’t have much hair he wondered if he had any down there. He imagined soft tufts similar to the hair on his head, soft like that of a cat, and found himself aroused. He stepped away from the candle to hide his blushing.
“Um.. .shall we go to bed? We shouldn’t waste the candle.”
Imakura nodded, so they blew out the candle and got into the futon. Yuichi prayed that their boat would come soon. This was getting to be too dangerous. And what was in danger? Imakura’s virginity.
Shuji Higashiyama traveled to the port of Hamamatsu to search for his brother who had now been missing for two weeks. Accompanying him was Yoshie Imakura the mother of his brother’s boss. Two weeks earlier, his brother’s company had gone bankrupt. Shortly afterwards, Shuji, who had moved out of their house after getting married and now lived with his pregnant wife, received a call from their parents saying that Yuichi hadn’t been home for five days. Yuichi frequently traveled for business and it was not uncommon for him to be gone for two or three days without saying anything. Yet this time he had told them about the trip but he hadn’t said where he would be going. Shuji tried calling his company but no one would talk to him. He even went in person. The woman there said that the travel sİ ip was on top and noted that he had gone to “Okinawa.” Shuji took time off from work to fly to Okinawa but there was no sign of his brother there. This convinced him that he should make a missing persons report to the poliçe as soon as possible.
Retuming from the failed trip, he met Yoshie for the first time. She had also gone to Okinawa to search for her son but came back without any clues to his whereabouts either. In desperation she decided to visit the home of the person her son was traveling with. Shuji hadn’t known that Yuichi’s boss was missing as well. His male boss, he noted. He was getting a bad feeling about this. Perhaps his parents were having the same thought because when his eyes met theirs he could see their worry. He wanted to ask if her son was gay also and if there was any chance they had run off together. But he just couldn’t bring himself to speak the words as she cried into her handkerchief. Comparing their stories, they determined that there was no way they had gone to Okinawa, so Shuji went to his brother’s company again. Most of the staff had been laid off the same day the bankruptcy was announced and the building was nearly empty. Shuji searched for his brother’s travel slip among a stack of papers and discovered that the Okinawa trip had been last year. This time he had gone to Fuchi island to search for herbs.

Shuji traveled to Hamamatsu with Yoshie where they leamed that a fisherman in his fiflies had taken the two to the island. They talked to the man when he retumed from a day of fishing, and he confirmed that he had taken two men out to Fuchi island two weeks ago. They thought they had finally götten to the bottom of the mystery, but were disappointed to find out that this man had only taken them; someone else had picked them up. Now they had to search for this other fisherman. They asked at the fisherman’s guild, and leamed the name and address of this other man. They went to his house right away, but something was not right. There was a “mouming” sign on the front door. They peeked inside and were led in by two middle-aged women. There they saw a brand new Buddhist altar, and a black and white photo of the late Genzo Ikenohata staring down at them. One of the women, his daughter, brought a finger to her eyes.

“It was five days ago. He came back from a day of fishing, laid down, and never got up. The doctor said he was in no pain.”
Shuji sat in shock, but they couldn’t leave just yet, even though Genzo could not answer their questions. He had to see if they had any information.
“So do you know if Genzo went to the island to pick up two employees of a pharmaceutical company two weeks ago?”
His daughter thought for a second.
“They should know at the guild. I’II ask.”
She called the guild.
“The woman there seems to remember your brother.” She gave the phone to Shuji, who spoke to Tae Yoshiwara.
“Oh, the pharmaceutical people. I got a call saying the boat was late. I called Genzo on the radio and he said he had them on board and was heading back. That means they made it back to port.”
Shuji hung up and found Yoshie looking at him expectantly.
“She said they came back from the island. Now we know that they disappeared after that.”
“Then where did they go?”
“Um...”
Genzo’s daughter shyly cut in.
“I just remembered that my father said once they got back to port he dropped them off at the train station on the way to his friend’s house. I’m sure that’s what he said.”
“Hamamatsu Station?”
 

Now they could trace them to the station but then where? Shuji could not erase the fear that they had run off together. But what he didn’t know was that Genzo had picked up the omithologists and dropped them off at the station. His brother and his boss were stili stuck on the deserted island.
That day, Yuichi came up with a plan first thing in the moming. He wanted to take a bath. The abandoned house had a bath and he had wanted to try it. It was a similar to a large black kettle a type of bath common in the countryside. You put in water and then lit a fire under it to heat it. Yuichi cleaned the bath in the moming and then he filled it with water from the well. He placed firewood that he had been gathering undemeath and lit it.
In about an hour the water was hot enough. Putting in his hand he found the water to be just right. He was so excited he went out to the kitchen and pulled Imakura to the bathroom without saying a word. Imakura was surprised—Yuichi hadn’t told him about his plan—and he jumped with joy.
“Yuichi, you’re awesome!”
Yuichi was sure that would be his reaction. Imakura was a clean freak. He would take soap they had found out to the well each night to wash his hands and feet and used a cloth to get as much of the rest of his body as he could. It had been two weeks but Yuichi was stili surprised by the amount of dirt that came off his body. After washing clean he spent a luxurious time in the tub. He emerged in his underwear and found Imakura grilling rabbit meat, carrots, and peppers on sticks över the fire.
“I’ll take care of the rest. Why don’t you get in the bath.”
Imakura’s eyes lit up at the sound of the word ‘bath’. The large man disappeared inside, but after a short time, Yuichi heard a yelp from the bathroom. He hurried to find out what happened and found Imakura rolled up in a ball on the floor naked.
“What happened?”
“It was hot...it bumed me!”
Yuichi plunged his hand into the water but found the temperature to be just right.
“It’s not that hot.”
“Not the water. My feet. My feet got bumed.” Yuichi understood when he looked in the bath. Since you bumed firewood right under the bath, and that made the bottom very hot. You usually put a wooden plank on the bottom to protect yourself, but since they didn’t have one, Yuichi had jerry-rigged a few pieces of wood to stand on. Imakura hadn’t understood why the boards were in there and so took them out.
“You need planks on the bottom. I guess you didn’t know when you got in. I’m sorry.”
Yuichi retumed the boards to the bottom. “Stand on these and your feet won’t bum.” Imakura got up slowly, and cautiously looked at the bottom of the tub. That was the first time Yuichi reallzed he was with a naked man. The second he noticed, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Imakura’s white skin. Even though he was fat and wrinkled, his skin was white and clear. His ass looked softer than any he had ever seen and Yuichi had to keep himself from grabbing it. Yuichi gulped, and then dipped his head slightly so he could peek at Imakura’s crotch...he was surprised at what he saw.
Imakura’s member was so small it made him doubt it could even function properly. It was no exaggeration to say that it was no bigger than Yuichi’s thumb and his balls were so small that they resembled quail eggs. He had heard rumors that Imakura had a small dick, but he’d never imagined that it was this small. It would be okay for a child but Yuichi had only seen such small ones on adults in magazines. To make it even worse, Imakura’s mini-penis was uncircumcised and possibly phimotic.
When Imakura plopped in the water Yuichi came out of his trance. He went out back, threw down his pants, and gripped his throbbing cock. He could not get the sight of that small, uncircumcised penis out of his head, and had to come three times while standing just to satisfy his urges. As he did so, he noticed a buming smell. As he was jerking off, the rabbit meat bumed.
Imakura drew water and started a fire each night for the bath. Since Yuichi enjoyed the smell of fresh soap while sitting with Imakura he became painfiılly aware that he was gay and Imakura was not. The devil on his shoulder whispered that they were on a deserted island. Nobody would know if they touched each other and screwed. Stili, Imakura was straight, not gay. He did not want to confront that fact. He just wanted to touch him, to caress him. Since he didn’t have anything to take his mind off of it, every night he was bombarded with fantasies, and Yuichi found himself in a living hell of sexual arousal and denial. It would’ve been better if Imakura had remained his selfısh boss. But Yuichi had already come to see him as cute and gentle. Plus, with their forced diet and regular exercise, Imakura had started to lose a little weight. Yuichi was surprised to find himself thinking his companion was somewhat charming once he became used to the routine.
“This is not good,” Yuichi muttered as he drank his rabbit soup.
Since he’d seen Imakura’s penis, he just couldn’t stop imagining himself sucking it. Each day, the desire to touch it, to blow it, got stronger and stronger.
“Is something wrong,” Imakura asked from across the room with a mouth fiili of potatoes. He had no idea that he’d become Yuichi’s jerk off fantasy. “Are you worried that we’re running out of food?”
The words were a good insight into Imakura’s priorities but Yuichi laughed and said that wasn’t the case. As if relieved by Yuichi’s answer, Imakura sipped at his rabbit soup again. From time to time as he sipped the tip of his tongue would show. Yuichi could not take his eyes off this, and when he noticed, Yuichi started to gulp down his own soup to hide his behavior.
“I’m going for a walk.” Yuichi stood and Imakura looked at him curiously.
“There is no moon tonight. It’s dark.”
This didn’t stop Yuichi, who said that he would not be long.
 
“You really like walking. You go out every night.”
Yuichi heard Imakura as he was leaving and had to laugh. Walking down the path in the dark, Yuichi came to a small field and crouched. He took his penis and rubbed it frantically. Of course his mind was on the man sipping soup back at the house. He fantasized raping Imakura from the front, back, and every other position. It’s not that he liked walks. If he didn’t get off there was no way he could sleep. He didn’t even jerk off this much in high school. When he reallzed that, he couldn’t help but be ashamed by his obsession. When he got back the house was dark. They had candles but they were running out so they only used them when they had to. Imakura must be in his futon because he could see the large mound inside.
Yuichi got into his own futon right next to him.

“You’re not feeling well?”
Yuichi was surprised to hear these words because he thought Imakura had been asleep.
“You sigh a lot recently. If you are worried about something I wish you would talk about it. all I can do is listen, but...”
Imakura had never shown concem for the feelings of others before, and Yuichi was surprised at how perceptive he was. Even though he said he would listen, Yuichi couldn’t very well teli him that his passion was getting the best of him. He knew Imakura would mock him. They may be alone but he wanted to avoid that at all costs.
 

“It’s not important.”
“I hope so...”
Their conversation ended there but Yuichi wanted to talk a little longer. He could have asked anything but he surprised even himself at the subject he chose. He couldn’t see his companion’s face in the dark and that is probably why he was able to broach the subject.
“Do you stili have your foreskin? I just happened to see when you were getting in the bath. It looked like your thing was covered with skin.”
There was the sound of movement caused by discomfort. Imakura started to stutter something and then fell silent. The silence was uncomfortable, and just as Yuichi was starting to regret ever bringing it up, Imakura whispered, “Please don’t teli anyone. I think I’m phimotic.”
There was only the two of them and thus no reason to whisper but they continued their conversation in subdued voices.
“Is it false?”
“...I don’t know, but it doesn’t even come out when I have an erection, and when I try to force it, it hurts. It must be positive.”
“These days they do corrective surgery even on boys in high school. Have you ever considered it?” “Mama holds onto my insurance card. I’m too embarrassed to ask for it so I can get the surgery.”
His heart was yelling at him to stop but Yuichi could not hold back his curiosity. He jumped out of his futon and approached Imakura.
 
“Let me try.”
“Try what?” Imakura’s voice was already high for a man, but it went even higher.
“Pulling back the skin. Didn’t you do this with your friends in high school? Give me a chance to see if I can pull back the skin with my hand.”
“Uh...That’s okay. Really. It’s dirty...”
“You just took a bath. It’ll be fine.”
Yuichi lit the candle that he’d put next to his pillow in case of an emergency. The room brightened with the yellowish orange flame. Imakura would not come out of his futon saying that they didn’t have to do this.
“There is nothing to be ashamed of. We’re both men. When I was in junior high we used to pull it out in front of each other all the time.”
“You did?” Imakura peeked out of the futon. His eyes showed his surprise.
“That’s normal. When you’re in junior high you get curious of how you measure up to everyone else. When there was someone with phimosis we’d pull the skin off.” Yuichi was convincing, but of course he was lying. He had never done any such thing. He couldn’t have. He would have götten a hard on just by looking at the penises of others.
“Everyone was doing it...? It was normal. I never knew...” There was a tinge of regret in Imakura’s voice.
“If you let me pull back the skin there’s no need to go to the hospital. Surgery can be embarrassing for men of any age.”
 

Imakura came out of the futon and sat holding his knees.
“Do you really think it’s a good idea?”
“Of course. Junior high kids do it.”
That seemed to be all it took. Imakura looked convinced.
“OK then...if you don’t mind...would you please peel the skin back?”
Even as he celebrated his success Yuichi’s conscience stili nagged him.
“You’ve seen it once, so you know what it looks like, but please don’t laugh.”
Leaning forward, Imakura slid down his underwear. By the yellow candlelight, the small, uncircumcised, simple penis that Yuichi had seen in the bath was visible again. Despite the disappointing visual, Yuichi’s fingers became hot with excitement. He was glad he had come three times before going to bed. If not, he’d already be erect and unable to move. He acted as casual as possible, but his hands shook with excitement as he touched Imakura’s penis. It was light, maybe like a child’s, and very soft. It was cute that it seemed so feeble. He held the penis in his left hand while pulling the skin with his right. Though he could see the very tip there was no indication that the rest would come out.
“It is too difficult when it’s sofît. Let’s try to get you erect.”
“No...please don’t.” Imakura tried to pull back, but Yuichi didn’t let him.
“Why don’t you lie on your back and spread your legs?”
 

Imakura resisted but stili did what he was told. He lay down and opened his legs wide in a position that seemed to be begging for Yuichi to take him then and there. Yuichi’s crotch throbbed even though it should have nothing left to give. He did not speak further. He was in heaven as he pulled and rubbed Imakura’s penis and cupped his balls. He ached to take it into his mouth, but that would be going a little too far, so he held himself back. Imakura’s penis responded immediately to his caressing. It was stili small, but hard and it stood up straight. Though the tip could not break through the skin, moistness started to leak from it’s small hole.
‘I'm going to pull the skin now. It might hurt a little.”
After giving this waming, Yuichi pulled the thin skin back hard with his fingers.
“Ow!”
The sensitive tip began to shudder.
“It hurts. Please stop. Let’s not do this anymore.”
Yuichi’s fingers were covered with moistness.
“Just a little more and we’ll have it.”
“But it really hurts.”
Yuichi held Imakura’s hips to keep him from escaping, and brought his body between Imakura’s legs. He began pulling even harder now that he was sure that Imakura couldn’t get away or close his legs. The skin broke and it bled a little. Even so, the tip of his penis was only a third visible. He lifted his head when he heard sobbing and saw that Imakura was crying into his hands.
 

“Oh...sorry...”
He couldn’t go on hurting him. Blood was flowing where the skin had been halfway pulled back, and without thinking, Yuichi put his lips where it formed a drop. Imakura’s hips shook.
“You’re bleeding. I’m trying to disinfect it....”
Though completely unnecessary, he used it as an excuse to take Imakura’s penis into his mouth. He wrapped his tongue around it and sucked. Though the penis was small in his mouth, he could clearly feel it stiffen.
“It hurts...ow...” Imakura cried more and his hips shook as if becoming erect was aggravating the wound. Yuichi sucked harder, and suddenly his mouth was filed with a familiar odor. He swallowed the semen happily. It was thick and there was a slight taste of blood. When he reallzed that not only had he performed fellatio, he had swallowed the result, Yuichi broke into a cold sweat. It might be one thing to strip in front of others but blowjobs were a little outside of normal activity. Stili, he knew that if he acted embarrassed, Imakura would understand what was happening, so he lifted his head from between Imakura’s leg with a serious expression.
“It didn’t work. When we get back, you should go to a hospital and get it fixed.”
Imakura was stili crying as he answered “Okay”. His naked lower half heaved and relaxed in the candlelight as he breathed. Even his fat belly and uncircumcised, small penis were mysteriously appeallng in the low light. As he gazed at Imakura’s plump bottom half, Yuichi was reminded of the paintings of naked women he had seen in high school textbooks. At the time, he had wondered how anyone could like such fat women, but now he had felt for himself just how good such round, soft skin could be.

Unfortunately, the artistic beauty that was Imakura’s lower half was quickly covered by a pair of ugly underpants.
“I’m going to sleep.” Imakura’s voice betrayed his disappoinI'ment as he crawled back into the futon. Despite the pain, they had not been able to pull back the skin. Yuichi blew out the candle and got in his own futon, but kept replaying in his head the image of Imakura’s lower half and how he shook while climaxing despite the pain. The images kept him from getting to sleep.
“He’s fat, small, uncircumcised...and has the worst personallty in the world.”
Yuichi tried to banish the image with these words, but it didn’t work. He sighed, and gazed at Imakura, who had already fallen asleep in the dark. Yuichi wanted so badly to kiss the lips through which Imakura was lightly breathing. There was no way around it now; he had fallen hard.
After the night they tried to pull back the skin, Imakura became distant. The day after, Yuichi assumed he was in a bad mood because of the events, but it continued över the next few days, which made him think there was another reason Imakura was avoiding him. He must be have figured out that Yuichi was gay but was keeping it to himself. He acted like a monkey performing fellatio and even swallowing his semen. Imakura must have reallzed that this was not normal. It was unseemly to chase after someone who was purposely avoiding you so Yuichi didn’t talk to Imakura unless it was necessary. Even though he was cool on the outside, inside he was shocked that his companion was avoiding him, and he regretted ever suggesting they try to pull back his skin a million times.
The problem started when he became attracted to a straight man. The beginning of a relationship with someone of the same persuasion can be hard, but it is especially difficult when the other person is straight. If he had just left well enough alone, he would have led a “normal” life, but if he’d tempted Imakura to a gay lifestyle to sate his own ego, he would bear some responsibility.
While Imakura was avoiding him, Yuichi seriously contemplated the basic problems of relationships between men. On the fifth day since a monkey wrench had been thrown into the gears, it began to rain.
Yuichi had decided that he would do nothing on rainy days. He didn’t want to catch a cold by exerting himself outside in the damp chill. Usually he was happy when it rained but today he cursed the moisture. The two of them were stuck in this small house. As they sipped leftover rabbit soup from yesterday they sat on the porch and watched the rain. There was nothing else to do. As noon passed Imakura reluctantly broke the silence.
“Wanna play cards?”
Yuichi tumed quickly and nodded. He was happy to that Imakura had spoken. It was a sign that he was not angry with Yuichi. As they played, Imakura opened up.
“There is something I would like to say to you.” Imakura gathered up the cards without looking at Yuichi as he spoke. “You must not breathe a word of what happened to anyone at our company.”
Yuichi couldn’t see his expression, but Imakura’s ears were beet red.
“What happened?”
Even though he knew, he stili asked.
“That...that I am really phimotic and even though we tried to fix it, we failed.” Imakura chose each word with care. “I don’t want people to laugh at my deformity. They already joke about my size.. .if they knew that I was phimotic as well...”
“I won’t teli anyone.”
Imakura kept his head down but glared straight at Yuichi.
“I always keep my promises.”
Imakura must have been convinced because he seemed to relax and looked down.
“You’ll never understand how I feel. You’re good at work, you’re cool, and everyone wishes they were you. How could you understand me...”
“But I...”
Imakura shook his head.
“You don’t have to try to console me. I know myself the best. I’m fat, short, no good at sports, and ugly. I have been fat for as long as I can remember, and no matter how many times I diet, I can’t lose weight. I like sweets, so I get all stressed out when I diet and end up losing hair. You can’t get much worse than being small, fat, and bald.”
“And phimotic...” The expression on Imakura’s face made it seem like it was the end of the world. He struggled to say those words and looked like he was about to cry. “I hate it. I have nothing but bad quallties. Why do I have to be with someone like you who has nothing but good ones? When I look at you I start to hate myself. God is so unfair.”
Yuichi had no idea this is what Imakura had been thinking. As he saw his companion berating himself he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He had to think of someone to lift his spirits.
“When we were trying to pull back your skin I saw you naked. You looked very beautiful.”
If looks could kili...
“How could this tub of lard be beautiful? Are you mocking me?” It sounded as if Imakura was about to bite his head off.
“When I saw you naked I thought that it was not a bad thing that you are fat. Your skin is very beautiful. It’s how you were bom. Being plump can give a sense of security. You could use that to your advantage at work.”
Imakura blinked in surprise.
“You.. .you think so?”
Yuichi meant what he said, but was stili amused by how Imakura would just gobble up anything he fed the man.
“You need to have more confidence in yourself. Don’t get down on yourself. Act like you’re daring everyone else to be as big as you.”
Imakura’s dark expression brightened like flowers blossoming in the spring.
“That’s the first time anyone has said anything like that to me. No one but mama has ever said that it is okay to be fat.”
Yuichi made sure to drive the point home. “Okay then. When we get back, you have to make sure you don’t gain back the weight you’ve lost. You can be fat, but not so much that it harms your health.”
Imakura laughed.
“I’ve been at Suginoki for eight years but I’ve never felt like anyone’s ever noticed me. Even when I was praised I felt like people were laughing at how fat I was behind my back. You’ve really tumed me around.” Imakura stared at Yuichi. His gaze was filled with a trust that made Yuichi feel uneasy.
“I’ve never had this kind of conversation with mama. And, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I don’t have anyone that I can have heart to heart talks with. I’ve never been good at making friends.” Imakura sighed.
“I have to wonder why it’s so easy to talk to you. I’m your boss but I seem to forget that when we’re together. You’re much more mature and than me, and smarter. The only thing I have över you is my age.”
Yuichi unconsciously leaned in and held both hands firmly.
“That isn’t true. You have your good points as well. I think you are very forthright and honest. You don’t put on airs. That is a very good trait for a person to have.”
Imakura blushed. Yuichi was perplexed at how much energy he was putting into this.
“Thank you very much for saying so. Can I also ask you a question?”
Yuichi braced for what that question might be. “If you don’t mind, would you be my friend?” It’s not like they were kids and usually Yuichi would have laughed at such a straightforward question, but he found himself happy at being asked. Not only was it a sign that Imakura did not dislike him, it meant that he saw Yuichi in a good light.
“Sure, if you don’t mind me as a friend.” Imakura’s thin eyes got even thinner and he grinned widely, which made him dimple. This was the first time Yuichi had noticed it. When he looked down, he saw Imakura’s right hand extended.
“Here’s to our friendship.”
Yuichi felt a little embarrassed and duplicitous, but he was careful not to show it as he took the round hand. The fingers were warm and soft. Imakura shyly laughed.
“You are my first male friend. I have acquaintances but they are all distant. When I was in grade school I was always jealous of others who had nicknames.” Imakura fidgeted slightly and blushed even redder.
“If you don’t mind, can I call you Yu-chan?” Both his lips and his eyes betrayed his bashfulness. Yuichi’s whole body blushed. It was so cute. Imakura was cuter than anything he’d ever seen. He wanted to push him över and lick his whole body, penetrate him, and then make him come while moaning ‘Yu-chan’.
“Uh... Yu-chan...”
Hearing this name brought Yuichi out of the fantasy.
“I’m sorry, but you’re hurting my hand.”
Only then did he notice that he had been holding Imakura’s hand so tight that it was tuming red.
The rain wouldn’t stop. The number of marks on the pillar had reached twenty. That meant that it was already mid-June. The rainy season had started. Ever since the two had decided to become ‘friends’ Yuichi had been faced with a peculiar dilemma: Imakura had changed so much that it was hard to believe he had been that spoiled, defiant man when they got here. Imakura listened to Yuichi. Yuichi was glad that he was trusted by him so much, but it also made things harder. The more he was trusted, the harder it was to get physical.
Yuichi took stock of his own feelings. He liked Imakura, even if he was fat, small, and uncircumcised. He was cute when he smiled. Yuichi wanted to kiss him, to have sex with him. This was more than the friendship that Imakura desired; this was ‘love’. In the past, he had dated men introduced to him by Tomoharu, the owner of the gay bar he frequented. Some of them were more handsome than Imakura, much thinner, and interesting, and yet he never wanted any of them more than he wanted Imakura, nor did he ever feel as though he “liked” them. If Tomoharu were here right now, he would no doubt burst out laughing. He’d say something like, “Everyone has poor taste in something, but this is going a little too far.” Stili, Yuichi didn’t care about personal tastes at the moment. He had feelings for Imakura so there was nothing he could do about it. He tried to analyze how he had come to feel this way for someone who was so completely different from his taste in men. He concluded that he felt the need to be the protector. Imakura had become dependent on him, and he had taken it upon himself to protect him.
“It just won’t stop raining,” Imakura blurted.
They were sitting on the porch and looking out into the haze. They had just finished lunch and didn’t feel like playing cards. That is why they sat lazily watching the rain.
“It’s the rainy season.”
Imakura toyed with the nail on his thumb. It had grown quite long and they didn’t have a nail Clipper for grooming. They had even searched the other houses, to no avail.
“It’s pretty humid.”
Having tired of messing with his thumbnail, Imakura rolled up the sleeves of his short-sleeved shirt and waved his collar. Yuichi became entranced by his white arms and wrinkled belly as they became visible. If he didn’t know Imakura, he would have thought that the man was coming on to him. He became very thirsty, and his heartbeat increased. He wanted to pin him to the ground right now and...
“Do you think I’ve lost weight?” Imakura tumed to Yuichi. “My clothes aren’t as tight anymore.” It was no mystery why he should think so. He had lost quite a lot of weight since they arrived on the island. His fat had begun to bum away thanks to modest meals and an appropriate amount of exercise.
“You’ve gotten a lot thinner. It’s too bad we don’t have a mirror so you can see.”
Yuichi touched Imakura’s chin, now triple instead of quadruple, careful not to make it seem weird. “Your chin and face have thinned as well,” he said.
“Wonderful.” Imakura sounded almost bubbly as he touched his own face.
“Even though you’ve lost so much weight, you’ll gain it all back in no time if you start gorging again when we get back.”
“You certainly are stem, Yu-chan.”
If this was earlier, Imakura would have been hysteric like a woman at the slightest offense, but now he was able to let Yuichi’s sarcasm slide.
“I no longer feel like I’II die if I don’t have sweets. Of course, I’ve kinda given up on them.”
Sitting with his knees up, Imakura played with his growing bangs. “There is one thing that I am going to do when I get back.”
“What’s that?” Yuichi was intrigued.
“I’m going to buy a bottle of Romani Conti and drink it.”
Yuichi didn’t know a thing about wine, but he stili knew this was one of the most expensive brands. He was sure that it was famous more for its price than its taste.

“One of mama’s friends gave me some once. It felt like velvet on my tongue and had a unique bittemess...I’m not quite sure how to describe it. When we get back, I want to try it again. It will be my reward for doing so well here.”
Imakura looked off into the distance as if he was trying to remember how the wine tasted, but then he looked to Yuichi. “Have you ever had Romani Conti?” “Nope.”
“Then I’II invite you över when I have it.”
The man who had once stubbomly reflısed to share a chocolate bar was now offering to split a bottle of expensive wine. Yuichi marveled at just how much people can change in so short a time.
“What is the thing you want to do the most when we get back, Yu-chan?”
He couldn’t believe a man in his thirties was asking such a childish question—and being so serious about it. What did he want to do the most? Drink, watch TV, sleep in a soft bed...but none of those seemed so important. More than when they got back, there was something he wanted to do now. Something he really wanted to do now.
“Sex, I think.”
Imakura had been anticipating the answer, but he blushed when he heard it.
“...You certainly are frank.”
“It’s like I’m living a celibate life on the island. And my right hand just isn’t doing it for me anymore. How about you?”
He made his question as direct as possible.
 

Imakura rubbed his hands together shyly.
“I...don’t have a very strong libido. It’s not that I don’t feel it at all, and I like women, but eating has always been more fun..
“But don’t your feelings get all pent up if you don’t do it e very once in a while? What do you do then?”
“Well...you know... with my hand...” Imakura became more ambiguous. With his personallty, and weight, and the fact that he was small and uncircumcised.. .could he really be...?
“Imakura, have you ever had sex?” Yuichi asked him pointedly. Looking down, Imakura’s voice was high when he said “Yes, of course.”
“Where did you do it the first time? In a hotel, or at her house?”
“At...at a hotel, I think.” He was agitated and his gaze shifted from side to side.
“I bet you were nervous the first time, not knowing what to do.”
“Yeah...but somehow it worked...” The telltale signs of vague answers and visible nervousness were there. Yuichi was certain now.
“Teli me the truth. You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” Yuichi brought it right out in the open. Imakura’s face tumed bright red so Yuichi knew he’d struck home. “You’re embarrassed to be a virgin in your thirties, so you’re lying, aren’t you?”
Imakura’s lips also became red from his biting them.
“Don’t call me a virgin,” he said quietly.
 

“Instead of acting like you’ve done it, you should just come right out and say ‘I’ve never been with a woman’”.
Yuichi sighed with frustration. Imakura glared at him from behind his tears.
“I didn’t want you to laugh at me. Of course I am...what woman would want to go out with an ugly man like me?”
Yuichi drew closer to Imakura and lowered his voice. “Hasn’t there been anybody who showed interest?”
His boss shook his head.
“But there was someone you liked?”
Imakura nodded, but only after a pause.
“Did you teli her that you liked her?”
Imakura yelled his response. “Why do I have to teli you?”
The large man obviously did not have good memories of this person. He sat silently without raising his head. Yuichi pondered what to do, and though he worried that it might seem unnatural, he touched Imakura’s white cheek with his finger. As he gently rubbed it, Imakura began to cry yet again. Yuichi wiped his tears from his eyes with his thumb.
“She said she didn’t like me because I was fat,” he blurted. “I...made her sick...” His shoulders began to shudder. Yuichi held on to them.
“It’s no good. I have no self confidence.”
“But you’re cute.” Yuichi truly meant it. The way he got angry when Yuichi found out he was a virgin, the way he cried when he said he did not believe in himself—it was all darling.

“The only people who call me cute are you and mama.” Imakura wiped his wet eyes with his palms.
“Is it yourself you don’t have confidence in, or sex?” Yuichi spoke with fondness.
“Both...”
“I can’t help you have confidence in yourself, but I can teach you how to have sex.”
Their eyes met straight on.
“If you practice beforehand, you can have confidence when you actually have sex and it will go better.” Yuichi continued, even though he felt as if he were being a little too obvious. ‘What practice,’ he asked himself ‘You’re just saying that because you want to touch him.’
“We don’t have anything else to do today. Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to pay for the lesson.” Imakura laughed at his joke.
“Okay. Maybe you can show me how to get things started.”
The fish was caught in the net. Yuichi cautiously drew him in.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?”
“...No.”
“Let’s start with kissing, then.”
Imakura was a little reluctant.
“We’re actually going to kiss? I thought you were just going to teli me how to do it.”
“That would work if just words sufficed. Practice is better than theory. You will leam faster if you do it yourself.”
 
As Yuichi approached, Imakura stepped back slightly.
“Do I really have to kiss you?”
“Yes. There is no deep meaning to it. In foreign countries, they even kiss to greet each other. Or do you want to give up on practicing?”
It was like they were bargaining. When he made it seem as if it was no big deal, Imakura moved closer.
“Just a little...”
“Close your eyes.”
Imakura did as he was told. His lips were ready to receive. When Yuichi reallzed that this would be the first time someone other than his ‘mama’ kissed Imakura’s lips like this, his heart started to race. They were soft, moist, and resilient. He kissed the top lips first, then the bottom. After soft kisses that resembled the chirping of birds, their lips separated and Imakura opened his eyes.
“This is a little embarrassing.” His face was red, and he wiped his lips.
“This time, you try.”
Imakura let out a yelp.
“If I do everything, you won’t get any practice. Try to remember what I did, and then do it yourself.”
“Okay...”
Imakura put his hands on Yuichi’s shoulders. He was slower than a turtle to approach and the kisses were clumsy.
“This is too strange,” he said. Imakura kept his head down after the kiss.

“Lips are very sensitive, so it is understandable for you to feel that way. This may have been your first time, but I can see there is a great kisser inside of you.” When Yuichi stopped to think about it, he was able to praise Imakura honestly. The man looked pleased and laughed.
“Now let’s do something a little harder.”
Suddenly, Imakura’s expression showed a sense of worry.
“This time we’II use our tongues when we kiss.”
Imakura pulled back in resistance.
Yuichi moved to reassure him. “all you have to do is bend your neck and open your mouth a little. First Fil do it. Be sure not to bite my tongue.”
Imakura closed his eyes tight and that was a good thing. Yuichi was sure his face might resemble a starving beast, an attacking lion. Holding him, he felt the soft folds of skin with his fingers. They locked lips, and he slid his tongue into Imakura’s accepting mouth.
“Nnn...” Imakura moaned slightly. Yuichi ran his tongue along Imakura’s well-lined teeth. When it reached past the back teeth, the body he was holding stiffened. He concentrated his movement there. He could hear muffled words, and for a moment, Yuichi forgot that, at least on the face of it, he was only teaching. He licked Imakura’s mouth with abandon. Someone had told him before that he kissed too rough. He liked the hot wetness of the tongues and the feeling of touching organs.
“Too... much...”
They separated. Imakura gasped for air and then a number of deep breaths. He wiped his moist, beautiful lips with his hand.
“I couldn’t breathe,” he said with a red face. “Did you breathe through your nose?” “Really? You can do that?”
“If you don’t, you’ll suffocate.”
“That was the first time anyone ever told me.” Having just kissed, they were stili facing and holding each other. The only sound was that of the rain. It was quiet, and neither spoke. When Imakura finally caught his breath, Yuichi whispered to try it for himself. “I can’t do it that way.”
“Just take it slowly. We have all the time in the world, and because it’s me, you don’t have to worry about making a mistake.”
Imakura approached. Yuichi found himself imagining how the kiss would be, and he knew no matter how clumsy it might be it would excite him. He swallowed the spit.
Though he was nervous in the beginning, once the first step was taken, Imakura’s hesitation melted away. He must have reallzed that this was not normal, but he did what Yuichi said, even if he did complain that it was embarrassing. The sound of rain continued to echo throughout the house, sometimes harder, sometimes softer. Though the door was open, they took off their clothes in a dark comer of the room. Yuichi gazed at the pale, naked body before him. Imakura had definitely lost weight, but he stili had a triple chin and his belly was huge. He had hardly any body hair, and he only had the faintest amount of soft, brown pubic hair under which hung his thumb-sized penis. Just like Yuichi, Imakura seemed to be mesmerized by his companion’s crotch.
“I’ve never really looked at another man.. .are you normal? Or are you bigger than others?”
“I think I’m average.”
Hearing this, Imakura sadly looked down at his own penis. He noticed that Yuichi had been looking at it, and covered it with his hands in shame.
“Size really isn’t that important. It just has to get in and then it’s all up to technique.”
“Oh...”
Yuichi steadied himself and approached Imakura. When he touched his shoulder, Imakura looked up.
“What are you going to do?”
“We’re going to practice caressing. Why do you think we took off our clothes?”
“I...uh...”
“Did you want to see me naked?” Though Yuichi said it as a joke, Imakura nodded seriously that, yes, that was the case.
“I have always wondered what others look like. I know that I’m small, but I’ve never had the chance to compare it to others.”
“Haven’t you ever peeked in the bathroom?” Imakura looked down.
“I always use the stall. Ever since someone called me “mini-wiener” in high school, I’ve been afraid of being mocked by others.”
Yuichi remembered that someone at work had commented that Imakura always used a stall even when peeing.
“So, what do you think?”
“It really is big.” The frank answer was both strange and cute.
Yuichi took his fingers from Imakura’s shoulder and rubbed his cheek.
“Caressing is not very hard. Each person has their own pleasure spots, and once you find them, you concentrate on those areas.”
He ran his finger slowly down Imakura’s chin and neck, and when he came to the çenter of his pink nipples, he pinched them. Imakura yelped and stepped back. His face was beet red.
“Too much? Shall I do it from behind?”
“Do what from behind?”
“Caress you. That way you won’t have to see my face. There is one thing I should teli you. I might get erect, so if you feel something stiff on your back, don’t pay it any attention.”
“Uh...ok...”
Yuichi went behind Imakura and hugged him. He wanted to leave his mark, and placing his lips on his white neck, began to suck hard. His fingers moved up the wrinkled belly and rubbed both nipples. They became hard with the stimulation, and Yuichi pinched them with his fingemails.
“Ow.”
He released his grip and began rubbing them again, and continued to do so while changing the pressure and speed of his movement. He bit Imakura’s soft, succulent ear lobes.
“Ah...”
When Yuichi placed his tongue in Imakura’s ear, his large legs shook uncontrollably.
“You like it there, don’t you? See?”
“My legs...I can hardly stand...”
“That means it’s good.”
Imakura stumbled as he sat down. Yuichi stayed behind him, stili holding him, and pulled him between his legs. While caressing his nipple with is left hand, he stretched his right hand down towards Imakura’s crotch. Passing his wrinkled belly, Yuichi felt his soft pubic hair. Below that was the thumb-sized penis. It was cute how it fit into his hand. Playing with it a little, it became stiff. Even so, the tip did not reach past the foreskin. Yuichi held down the tip with his index finger. Pushing down, he was able to get his finger into the skin. He then began to rub the head, something that even Imakura had probably never done before.
“Ooh...ahhh...”
It must have felt good because Imakura did not resist. As he continued, his index finger became moist. He took the finger and began to gently rub around Imakura’s anus.
“Women have vaginas. You can touch there, too.”
He acted like he knew what he was talking about, but Yuichi had never touched a woman anywhere near there. It was the most he could do to kiss one of the women he had tried to date. Moistening his finger, he pushed against Imakura’s modesty.

“Can I use this in its place?”
Imakura sounded desperate when he replied.
“In place of what?”
“I’m going to move my finger around like it’s a vagina.”
“No. It’s dirty.”
Yuichi kissed the aggravated Imakura. He had wanted to kiss him of course, but he also hoped it would lessen his resistance. He searched for his mouth and kissed Imakura like they had in the beginning of their lesson. Having sated himself, their lips separated, but a string of sallva stili linked them. Imakura’s mouth shook as he breathed, and his eyes gazed at Yuichi.
“Some women like it when you play with their ass. Sometimes you can even have sex in it.”
“But.. .wouldn’t that hurt...?”
He was stili resistant and would not yet give permission.
“all you have to do is relax. Think about it. Big things are always coming out of it. And when you have a physical, they put a camera in through there. A finger shouldn’t be any trouble at all.”
“But...”
Yuichi put his finger to Imakura’s lips to silence him. Imakura’s eyes went wide with surprise.
“Lick my finger.”
Perhaps not comfortable with the situation, Imakura’s tongue did not move. Yuichi moistened it himself and lightly touched his anus.
“No. Please don’t.”
The man was tense and Yuichi could not get his finger inside.
“Relax.”
Yuichi pulled back his finger like he was giving up. Imakura’s expression relaxed. Yuichi pulled his chin up and kissed him hard.
“Nnn...ahh...”
Imakura tried to flee, but Yuichi pulled him back each time. While he had Imakura preoccupied with his lips, Yuichi brought his hand to his crotch to distract him and then stuck his other index finger in from behind.
“Ah...ahhhh....”
Once it was in, the rest was easy. He stuck it in as far as it would go and searched for the prostate. When he found it, he pressed hard. Imakura’s body shook with shock. As Yuichi continued, Imakura’s legs began to shake wildly, and his modest penis stiffened towards the sky.
“Doesn’t that feel good?”
“N...no...”
His pale hips shook, and the hole tightened. A white liquid spurt out from his foreskin. It was cute how his penis kept shaking even after he came. He was stili climaxing. Yuichi couldn’t help but chuckle at its stamina.
“You really are cute.”
Imakura breathed hard with his eyes closed. While the orgasm continued, Yuichi acted as if he was rubbing his anus, but took advantage of the situation to insert another finger.
When Yuichi awoke, it was dark. He didn’t know what time it was, but he was hungry. They had been holding each other in their sleep, and the warmth felt good, good enough to put up with an empty stomach for now. He hugged Imakura’s soft belly tight. This must have woken him because Imakura attempted to get up. Yuichi hung on to his ample hips to keep him from rising.
“I want to get up,” Imakura mumbled.
“And do what?”
“I’m hungry.. .and my waist is sticky.”
Yuichi pulled Imakura closely and gave him a deep kiss.
“You’d have to start a fire and cook the food. Why bother? Let’s just stay here and sleep until moming.”
“But...”
“I'II clean you off.”
Yuichi reached around in the dark for the candle and lit it. Using the light, he went around to the well and dampened a hand towel. When he retumed, Imakura was sitting on top of the futon.
Yuichi wiped Imakura’s body with the hand towel. He made sure to get everywhere: his thighs, the area where he had been pressing his penis, his crotch, and his bottom.
“Thank you,” he muttered when Yuichi was done.
“Is that better?”
“Yeah.”
Yuichi pulled Imakura into his chest and patted his back. Imakura also brought his hands around to Yuichi’s back and held it tight.
“Let’s sleep together until moming.”
Imakura’s only answer was a nod.
The next moming, the rain had stopped. Yuichi awoke naked to bright sunlight and an empty stomach. Imakura lay next him, his skin exposed. Unlike the intimate dark brought about by the rain, the house was now bright. As he breathed the sweet moming air, he lefit a number of kiss marks on Imakura’s back.
There were no straight lines on his back due to the fat. When Yuichi lightly squeezed his round, soft buttocks, Imakura awakened. He twisted his body and looked at Yuichi with sleepy eyes. At first Yuichi thought they were gazing at each other, but Imakura’s eyes were pointed down towards the futon. His ears were bright red. Yuichi laid down on top of him.
“What’s wrong?”
Imakura didn’t answer. When Yuichi held him and rocked back and forth, Imakura finally said in a low voice, “I’m embarrassed.”
“So am I.”
“But...what we did...
Yuichi raised Imakura so he was sitting up. He held him from behind just like he had when he started caressing him and rubbed his soft check with his index finger.
“Didn’t you like it?”
“If mama ever found out, I..
“Imakura.” When Yuichi raised his voice the body he was holding began to shake. “I asked how you felt about it. Did you not like kissing me?”
“I...”
“Be honest.”
Imakura bit his lip and then looked up at
Yuichi.
“It wasn’t bad...”
Even though he seemed confused at first, his reaction was good. He was certain that Imakura had enjoyed himself, but he was relieved to actually hear him say it.
“And how do you feel when you are touched like this?”
He pinched both of his nipples. Imakura yelped in a coarse voice.
“Does that give you a thrill?”
“...Yes...” Imakura’s whole body tumed red. Yuichi rubbed his crotch and then moved past his balls to his ass.
“How about when I put my finger in here?”
“I don’t like that...”
“Really? Even though you came över and över when I did it last night?”
Tears welled up in Imakura’s eyes. Yuichi kissed the ones that came out.
“It’s nothing to cry about. There is nothing to be ashamed of if it felt good.”
Imakura sobbed as if he did not want to hear the words, but as Yuichi rubbed his head and kissed him, he fell silent. Wanting to see his face, he made Imakura tum and sit across from him on his knees. As he pulled him close, it was cute how Imakura’s small penis rubbed against his navel.
“Do you promise you won’t laugh? Or think that I’m weird?”
He clung to Yuichi and asked över and över. When convinced, he brought his mouth close to Yuichi’s ear and whispered a startling confession: “It felt awesome.” He then sat back again.
“Are you sure I’m not weird to be so tumed on by doing this with a man like you?”
“It’s just fine. You were just practicing sex. I was caressing your body to make it feel good, so there is nothing wrong with you feeling that way. That’s normal.”
“Really? Good.”
Imakura breathed a sigh of relief and clung tight to Yuichi.
“Excuse me for saying so...but I really like sex.”
Yuichi climbed to the highest point on the island for the first time in days. Whichever direction he looked, there was nothing but ocean, ocean, ocean—a horizon with nothing on it. But, there was no longer the feeling of longing to be rescued. As he tumed towards the house, he looked at the plants growing near the path. Now that things had settled down, he once again searched for the weight loss herb he had originally come to find, but was unsuccessful. He did, however, find a new field of vegetables. It looked as if it had once been an eggplant and tomato garden, and he saw the red of tomatoes peeking out from among the weeds. He picked two and put them in his bag. There was an old house near the field with a beehive undemeath its roof. A swarm of bees buzzed in the air surrounding it. He jumped back to avoid getting stung, but then he reallzed there must be honey inside the hive. That could be an important food source, and he knew Imakura liked sweet things. He wanted to get it for him.
Yuichi walked around the field collecting branches. He didn’t find enough, so he looked inside the house also. As he was pulling up floorboards, he found a nail cutter. It was a little rusty, but stili usable. Taking the wood he had gathered, he lit a fire undemeath the hive. As the fire grew, the smoke and heat drifted up and scattered the bees. When they were gone, Yuichi took the hive. It had götten dark during this project, and when he retumed home, Imakura was feeding their rabbit in the back yard. Hearing Yuichi’s footsteps, he tumed and welcomed him home.
“You’re late. Dinner’s ready.”
“Let’s eat.”
He took the tomatoes out of his bag and gave them to Imakura.
“I found a tomato patch. There were eggplants, too, but they were not quite ready to pick.”
“These look good.”
Imakura carried them carefiılly and placed them in the kitchen. When he washed his hands and came out, dinner was done. Tonight they were having rabbit and potato soup.
“I walked to the dock this aftemoon.”
Imakura talked while eating a hot piece of potato. Everything used to be a bother, but he was much more active recently. You could teli just by looking that he had lost a lot of weight and this made him feel better as well. He was down to a double chin, and his belly did not stick out as much.
“But I didn’t see any boats.”
“I went to the top of the hill, but I didn’t see anything either.”
After that the conversation stopped, but it was not an uncomfortable silence as they ate. It was like they were an old married couple. As long as it didn’t rain, Yuichi would leave in the moming to find food. While he was gone, Imakura would prepare food, or clean, or start the bath. At night, Yuichi would retum and eat the food that Imakura had made. And then, later... Their routine had become just like that of a married couple. When they finished eating, Imakura took the dishes to the kitchen. Though the abandoned house had been empty when they got here, they had been able to give it a lived-in feeling. As Imakura washed the dishes Yuichi sharpened the nail clippers on the grinding stone. He used a nail to reach the places he couldn’t with the stone.
“What are you doing? The bath is ready.” Having removed the rast from the clippers he got into the bath before the water cooled. Perhaps Imakura had already been in because the room was filled with steam and the floor tiles were wet.
When he was done, he went back to the room stili naked and drying his hair with a hand towel. Imakura was on the porch. He was looking down in the moonlight and making a rastling noise.

“What’s up?”
“I was trying to sew the hole in my shirt, but it’s too hard to see.”
“Why don’t you use a candle?”
“We don’t have many left. I didn’t want to waste them. I should do it during the day.”
Imakura put the shirt down. Yuichi sat down next to him and took his right hand.
“Shall I cut your nails?”
“You have clippers?”
“I found them today.”
He cut each long nail carefully. The sound of the clippers echoed through the quiet night air.
“Shall I do your toes, too?”
“...Please”
He accidentally cut one too deep, and Imakura winced.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. It didn’t hurt that much.”
Blood started to come out of the cut. Yuichi instinctively put the toe in his mouth. As he sucked on it, it stopped bleeding. But he didn’t stop there and began to lick between Imakura’s toes.
“Yu...Yu-chan” Imakura shook.
Caressing his feet seemed to tum him on. Yuichi lifted himself, hugged Imakura and started to kiss him. He lifted his tank top as they kissed, and gently pinched his nipple. This was all it took to make Imakura moan sexily. He played with his nipple with his right hand while he moved around his lower body with his left. Just working his feet and nipple had already made Imakura erect. Yuichi pulled down his undenvear, and vigorously massaged his balls. Though they were out in the open on the porch, neither cared. It was not as if there was anyone but themselves on the island. Knowing this, Imakura spread his legs wide in the moonlight with no hesitation. After paying ample attention to Imakura’s crotch with both his hand and mouth, Yuichi whispered in his ear.
“Can I come in?”
Last week, Yuichi entered Imakura for the first time. He was tight, and it felt like heaven to Yuichi, but it was hard to penetrate no matter how much he lubricated himself. Though he was able to come while inside, Imakura complained the whole time about how much it hurt. They had had anal sex twice more since then, but Imakura was stili not used to it.
“No.”
“İTİ be gentle.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re too big and it hurts.”
He would not change his mind. Yuichi kissed him över and över to weaken his will.
“It will only hurt at first. Once I get deep inside, it’ll be fine. It feels good when I thrust, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, but...”
“I’H do it so it doesn’t hurt.” Yuichi massaged him with his fingers at first so it wouldn’t hurt as much.
“Aahh...oohh...”
It sounded like it hurt just a little at first, but then he let out moans of pleasure. Yuichi moved his hips as he drank in the moans with his kisses.

“Nnn...nnn...”
They changed positions without separating and Yuichi came twice. Imakura lay down hard as if their activities had tired him and Yuichi held him tenderly. As they kissed, Yuichi found his weary expression sexy, and became aroused again. When Imakura noticed, he pulled back, but Yuichi held him down from behind and penetrated again. Since they had already had sex once, there was no resistance this time as he entered him. Their lovemaking continued in the moonlight. After they were done, Yuichi continued to caress Imakura. While having sex he became strangely aware of how alone they were. Whether they were talking, fighting, or loving, it was only the two of them. Even though he’d never thought of himself as an introvert, he found himself adapting well to this secluded world.
“I wonder when someone will come,” Imakura said as he laid his head on Yuichi’s chest.
“Do you want to go home?”
“Of course. You do, too, don’t you?”
He did, but... there was a part of him that was very happy with the way things were right now. There may be inconveniences, but he was with the man he now loved, and they were able to have sex out in the open without having to worry about the eyes of others. It was like a dream. Stili, there was one problem. He only had two more of the “Like A Virgin” condoms that he’d brought with him. He’d originally planned to give them to a friend. He’d never imagined that he’d use them with Imakura. Though technically he didn’t need them for sex, there was no doctor or medicine available on the island if he hurt Imakura. Not being able to go to the hospital was the one thing that made life on the deserted island less than perfect.
“You’re making a face. What are you thinking about?”
Imakura touched Yuichi’s face. He couldn’t come right out and say that he was thinking he would have to wash the condoms so he could reuse them.
“I was just thinking about how cute you look when you come.”
Imakura blushed. When he did that, Yuichi hugged him and nibbled on his soft shoulders. Then he remembered the beehive. Stili naked, he left his partner’s warm body and went inside. He took the hive out of his cloth bag and split it in two in the pot.
“I forgot that I brought something home for you.”
When Imakura tilted his head in curiosity, Yuichi spread some honey around his mouth.
“It smells sweet.” He licked his lips and opened his eyes in surprise. “It’s honey!”
“I found a beehive. I thought it would be a good source of extra food in an emergency.”
“Yu-chan. I want more,” Imakura purred.
“Not now. I said it’s for emergencies.”
“Then I want what’s left on your hand.”
Yuichi rubbed the remaining honey off on his crotch.
“If you want it, lick it off.”
Imakura did not seem pleased by the order, but when Yuichi brought the hand with the honey under his nose, Imakura licked the finger clean.
“There’s more down below.”
Imakura stared at the drops of honey on Yuichi’s crotch. Though he didn’t like giving head, he wanted the honey badly, and brought his lips to Yuichi’s penis. He sounded like eat as he licked the honey off. Stimulated by the hot moistness of his tongue, Yuichi got rock hard.
“Yu-chan, it’s harder o lick when you get so big.”
But despite the complaint, Imakura didn’t stop. He was concentrating so hard on the honey, he didn’t notice when Yuichi was ready to come. The semen sprayed his face, and he looked like he was going to cry.
“I can’t believe you did that!”
‘T m so sorry. Forgive me?”
Yuichi wiped Imakura’s face as he apologized. As he did so, he also licked his nose, cheeks, and eyes like a dog. It must have worked, because Imakura broke out in laughter.
“That’s enough. Really.”
He couldn’t be happier than to hear the laughter. They hugged and kissed, and teased each other until Imakura fell asleep. Yuichi could see the moon through the open window. Before he went to sleep, he caressed his fat, cute lover’s back.
Shuji Higashiyama traveled with Yoshie Imakura to the “Prefectural Omithological Institute” in Miyagi Prefecture. It was almost a month and half since his brother and his boss had gone missing. Shuji’s missing older brother was gay. He’d already come out to his family. On television when a member of a family was gay, there was a strained feeling in the household due their strange “sexual preference”, but their family was different. His brother was the leader of their family, and when he announced that he was gay, the others had no choice but to accept it. Also, Yuichi was determined that the Higashiyama name would live on, so he had made it his mission to make sure his younger brother married and had children, which he did at a relatively young age.
Yuichi had been a good student and a good man, and Shuji was sure that he would never run off with someone without saying anything, but he had to face the facts. He’d seen a picture of the other man who was missing, and he was huge, almost grossly obese. He knew his brother had an eye for other men, and though he would never say it front of his brother, he thought he was the coolest person he knew. Yuichi hadn’t told him the type of men he liked, but he couldn’t believe that he was a chubby chaser. Every time he saw the photo of the other man, he couldn’t help but think that his brother had problems he couldn’t teli anyone about.
The trail of his brother and his boss had gone cold at Hamamatsu Station. Shuji didn’t give up on asking questions though, and he found out that the two other men who had accompanied them to the island had retumed to Miyagi Prefecture that night by bus. Shuji and Yoshie took a bus to Miyagi, and when they arrived, they split up to gather more information. Shortly after noon, Shuji picked up a clue from a taxi driver who just happened to be eating at the same noodle stand.
“A little while back, I had a pair of customers who said they had just götten back from a deserted island.”
Shuji saw a ray of hope.
“It was early in the moming, like they had just götten off of an ovemight bus. I remember it because the deserted island made me curious. I remember now... they said they studied birds.”
Shuji showed him a photo of the two, but the man seemed confused.
“No. They were older. And they had beards, and certainly weren’t as fat as this man.”
If his brother were serious about running away, it would make sense for him to disguise himself.
“Can you teli me where you took them?” Seeing how desperate he was, the driver reluctantly agreed to teli him. Shuji picked up Yoshie and took her to the place the driver had shown him.
The two stood in front of an old building with a sign that read: “Prefectural Omithological Institute.” Shuji asked the driver several times if he was sure this was the place and each time he answered that he was certain. Though he had been sure the driver was talking about the two men they were searching for, now that he had arrived, he began to have his doubts. Stili, this was his last hope. He knocked on the door of the institute. An older, bearded man answered the door. He fit the taxi driver’s description to a “T”.
“Can I help you?”

Nar ise Konohara
Shuji took out the photos.
‘T m looking for these men. Have you seen them?”
The man squinted and nodded yes.
“I do seem to remember them, but where was it? I especially remember the fat one...”
A man looked on curiously from behind. Seeing the photos he asked: “Isn’t that the guy on the boat we took to Fuchi island?”
The bearded man clapped his hands in remembrance. “That’s it. The two from the pharmaceutical company.”
“Yes.”
Yoshie pushed Shuji out of the way.
“The one in this photo is my son. He’s been missing for a month and a half ever since he went on a business trip with his employee. I only know they went to a deserted island...”
The bearded man tumed pale.
“Excuse me?”
“We’ve asked so many people, and we found someone that said he had brought two people who had just been to a deserted island to this place.”
Yoshie was just about to cry. “My only son is a weak man...Fm so worried...”
The bearded man looked at his companion and fidgeted.
“We met them on a boat on the way to Fuchi island. They said they were going to look for herbs that had something to do with weight loss. They said they were only going for the day, but they weren’t on the same boat we took back from the island.”
Shuji played back the conversation he had with the fisherman guild clerk in his head.
“I’ve heard that my brother called once to say that the boat had not arrived. But then they boarded soon after...”
The bearded man brought his hand to his chin.
“They weren’t on the boat. Or, at least they weren’t on the boat we took back. I just thought it meant they were going to stay on the island ovemight.”
Shuji’s eyes met those of the bearded man.
“You should go to the island right away to make sure. It really is a deserted island, and no boats will even go near it unless there’s a specific reason. If they were lefît out there they could be in trouble. There are a number of abandoned homes, so they would have shelter at least, but there was no food or water as I recall. I would hate to think that they starved...”
Yoshie looked like she was about to have a convulsive fit.
“Ma’am. Please settle down. I’m sure they’re OK.”
When the omithologist put his hand on her shoulder, she collapsed in the doorway.
On a beautiful day with not a cloud in the sky, Yuichi led Imakura up to the highest point of the island. Imakura was stili not used to the exercise, and had to stop many times along the way. In the end, Yuichi had to pull him to the top.
“What a beautiful view.”

Even though he had complained about aches and being tired the whole way up, his face brightened when he saw the scenery.
‘I'm so glad I came.”
“It’s also cooler here because of the breeze.”
The wind was strong at the top and their sleeves flapped in the wind. It also blew Imakura’s long bangs. Yuichi sat down but Imakura was content to stand and look över the distant water. Thinking Imakura must be looking for a boat, Yuichi suddenly stood with a start.
“What is it?”
He took his lover’s hand and they started down the hill. Imakura could see that his mood had soured and tried to get him to talk.
“Are you angry?”
Yuichi stopped at a woody spot on the path.
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know. Did I make you angry?”
Yuichi pulled his hand and hugged him. He kissed him softly, and then deeper. Imakura became weak in the knees and Yuichi pushed him down in the tall grass by the side of the path. He pulled up his shirt and saw that his white skin was drenched with sweat.
“What.. .what are you doing?”
Ignoring his resistance Yuichi took the shirt all the way off. He pinched Imakura’s pink, sweaty nipples, and they hardened and tumed the color of ripe peaches. They looked so good he kissed them with his lips and put his hand down his pants. Imakura was already hard.
“I want you.”
Imakura shivered when he whispered in his ear. “Not here.”
“The grass should keep your back from getting scratched.”
Yuichi looked into Imakura’s eyes.
“There’s no one else here. It doesn’t matter if we do it in the house or outside.”
“But...”
Yuichi forced off his undenvear, leaving him completely naked. His white skin glistened in the sun. Imakura lay in the grass as he was bom, resembling some plump muse of mythology. The thought of taking something holy excited Yuichi and he spread the man’s legs wide. In this position, the sun caressed his genitals. Imakura twisted his hips in resistance, but he gradually gave in to Yuichi’s kisses. Imakura was tight, and when Yuichi penetrated, he could not help but moan.
“The sky.. .it’s so blue.”
Yuichi tumed to look for himself. Just as his lover had said, there was not a white cloud to mar the blue sky.
“Do you know what they call this?”
“Huh?”
His face was sweaty and Imakura looked up över his cheek.
“Fun in the sun.”
Yuichi took Imakura’s hand and led it to his own crotch and made him touch where the two of them met.
“You’re wide open and I’m in as far as I can go. Can you feel it?”
“No...no...”

“Don’t say no. If you touch here you can understand what I’m doing. When we have sex like this outside it’s called ‘fun in the sun’.
Imakura started sobbing.
“Why are you crying? It doesn’t hurt, does it? I’m moving gently so it won’t hurt. It feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes...but...”
Yuichi kissed him to calm him down and the crying finally stopped. After coming twice inside him, Yuichi laid stili for a while just holding Imakura and then rose and picked up their clothes.
“Did you come inside me?”
“Yes.”
“It feels gross. Like it’s about to come out...” “If you can’t hold it in, let it out here. I’ll wash you up when we get back.”
“I’ll try to hold it until we get back then.”
He held Imakura up by the shoulders to help him along on the way back. The sunlight was harsh, and it made it even hotter to press up next to each other, but neither made the effort to separate. When they came to the path that followed the shore Imakura suddenly let out a cry.
“Boat! Yu-chan! There’s a boat!”
“No way.”
‘I'm not lying. There’s a boat at the dock.” Yuichi had thought he was joking, but it was true. There was a small boat at the dock. After a month and half, there was finally a boat. “Yes!”

Imakura flung off Yuichi’s hand and ran off. It was hard to believe he had seemed so helpless just a second ago. People were just starting to disembark from the boat. He could see a plump, older woman. Imakura dashed towards her.
“Mama! Mama!”
They hugged tightly and both started crying. Next off was Yuichi’s brother Shuji, who breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his older brother.
“I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“There’s no way I was going to let myself die here.” He said it coolly. Compared to the emotional Imakura and his mother, the exchange between Yuichi and his brother was as cold as the North Pole.
“What’s with the attitude? Do you know what I went through to find you?”
“You’re late.”
And the timing was bad. He should have götten here much sooner, before Yuichi had even laid a finger on Imakura. Either that or much later.
They went back to their house to gather their things, but Yuichi and Imakura barely said a word. Imakura’s mother huddled closely to her son and they didn’t have a chance to talk.
“Takashi, you poor thing. Look how thin you are. I’II take you to the hospital as soon as we get back. Oh, I hope you didn’t catch any weird diseases here...”
Even on the boat the two were inseparable. It was enough to make even Shuji uncomfortable.
“Does he have a mother complex?” he whispered to Yuichi.

The excitement of the reunion with his mother had taken its toll, and Imakura fell sound asleep on her knees. Even though Yuichi had been looking at him ever since they got on the boat Imakura didn’t look back. He was angry that his lover would forget about him so quickly once his mother showed up. He tried to cheer himself up by thinking that at least his own family had been worried about him. When he reallzed that looking at Imakura was just making him angry he closed his eyes and prctcndcd to slccp.
When they arrived at port, Imakura’s mother hurried him into a taxi to take him to a hospital. Yuichi didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. After their car left Yuichi and his brother got in their own taxi and went to the station. They got there just in time to catch a bullet train to Tokyo.
Thinking his brother might be hungry, Shuji bought him a box lunch before they got on the train. As Yuichi enjoyed food he could only dream of on the island, he felt for the first time like the ordeal was över.
“I never dreamed that you’d been left behind on a deserted island. I thought you’d run away with that other guy,” his brother chuckled. “I thought you’d become a chubby chaser.”
Rising to go to the toilet, Yuichi suddenly stopped and kicked his brother’s shin hard.
“Hey! What?”
Yuichi glared at him. Shuji held his shins and bit his lip in pain and confusion while his brother headed off to the restroom.
After peeing, Yuichi began to wonder if Imakura was able to clean up by himself. He had come in him and promised to clean him, but he didn’t get the chance. He hoped he didn’t become ili. He wanted to see his face, to kiss him... Even though he had just seen his face and had been with him for so long, he was already lonely. Yuichi was angry at himself for feeling this way. They’d have the chance to see each other in a day or two. They worked at the same company, so they would have to see each other even if they didn’t want to. This was his only consolation.
At the time, though, Yuichi had no way of knowing that their company had gone bankrupt during their absence.
Yuichi heard about his company’s demişe the night he got home. He’d talked to his parents from the port so they knew he was fine, but his mother stili broke down in tears when she saw him. That night the dinner table was filled with his favorite foods. He made sure to keep conversation limited to fun things on the island so as not to worry them. They talked late into the night, and Shuji decided to stay the night as well.
After a bath and a shave, Yuichi was about to call his section chief when his brother asked him whom he was calling.
“My company. I need to find out if we’ve been fired while we were stuck on the island.”
Shuji started to teli him, but then stopped. Yuichi knew there was something wrong when he saw the look of sympathy in his eyes.
“Have they said anything to you? Have I been fired?”

“Your company.. .went bankrupt.” Bankrupt...bankrupt... It took him some time before reallty hit.
“No! You’re lying.”
Shuji almost felt like slapping his brother despite all the work he had put in to find him.
“There’s nothing I can do about it. It happened just a day or so after you left on your trip. There was a huge headline in the paper. I didn’t want to upset you, so I didn’t say anything until now.”
He couldn’t resurrect the company by blaming his brother. Shuji said that there were stili people there to take care of loose ends, so he decided to visit the next day. Yuichi stared quietly at the ceiling from his comfortable bed and reallzed that this was the first time he’d been on it in a month and a half. Bankruptcy, unemployment...nothing but negative words danced around in his head. It was like he’d been pulled back from a dream world into grim reallty.
He wanted to hear Imakura’s voice. He wanted to hear Imakura call him ‘Yu-chan’. When he couldn’t bear it any longer, he called his lover’s celi phone, but didn’t get through. He sulked and tumed över. It felt strange to be able to stretch his arms and legs all the way out. They had been sleeping on the same futon. When he stretched out his hand, he would feel that familiar warmth, and if he playfully touched Imakura, his companion would complain that he couldn’t sleep. But that didn’t happen here. He tossed again, and the phone rang.
“Yu-chan” The voice spoke out of his cellphone. He knew who it was. At last!
“Did you call?”
“Yes. Once.”
‘I'm sorry. My phone was in the hotel this whole time and I had to charge it, so I couldn’t call you back right away. What are you doing?”
“Trying to sleep.”
“Fm at the hotel. Fm calling you from the public phone. Everything checked out fine at the hospital. We’re going to stay the night in Shizuoka and retum to Tokyo tomorrow.”
“Did you hear about the company?”
“Yeah. Mama told me.”
“We’ll have to find new jobs. But we can worry about that later. Get a good night’s sleep tonight.” “Yeah...” Imakura’s voice dropped.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t sleep. Mama told me to go to bed, but...it’s hard to sleep alone after Fve götten used to sleeping with you.”
Yuichi was thrilled that Imakura felt the same way he did. He wanted to be with him, to see his face. He wanted to rush to the hotel.
“Let’s meet tomorrow. What time will you get back?”
“Around noon. I’ll call you when we arrive.” “Got it. Until tomorrow, then.”
“Uh...wait.”
“What?”
“Can we talk a little more? I want to hear your voice.”

Yuichi was happy to hear this, but also somewhat embarrassed, and it made it difficult to find something to say. Their silence continued.
“Yu-chan, say something.”
“We can see each other tomorrow.”
The phone beeped as Imakura’s money ran out.
“Okay. I’II see you tomorrow. Good night.”
“Yeah.. .good night.”
Even though he’d been so gentle and loving on the phone that night, no call ever came from Imakura.
The next day, Yuichi visited his bankrupt company, but there were only a few employees left to take care of things. Everyone else had been fired. It was clear from the start that he wasn’t going to solve anything, but at least he was able to gather his personal items. He asked about his salary, but was told that the company had withheld all of May’s pay from the employees. Yuichi had been hoping that they would at least pay him for the days he had worked, but that seemed to be asking too much.
The second he walked out of the building, he joined the ranks of the unemployed. He had to work if he wanted to eat. He had to find a new job. Stili, he imagined that it wouldn’t be easy in the poor economy. He called his friend Maeda from Suginoki Pharmaceuticals. He reached him on his celi phone, and Maeda was surprised to hear from him. He’d found another job close by, and they made plans to meet at a cafe near the station for lunch.

“Everybody was wondering where you were. But when the company went belly up, we were too busy mopping up the mess to worry about anyone else. Once things calmed down, I just assumed you’d found another job and were doing well. I had no idea you were stuck on a deserted island with Imakura.”
Maeda spoke while eating spaghetti with meatballs.
“If you’d been with a woman it could have tumed into a situation like you see on television, but it must have been a horror to be there with Imakura. You’re so unlucky.”
That couldn’t be further from the truth, but Yuichi couldn’t teli him about the days of passion with Imakura on the island. Maeda wanted to hear about his tales of survival, and listened to Yuichi without interrupting.
“Stili, being away from civilization close to two months means that I fell behind in the hunt for a new job. Do you know of anything?”
Maeda did not look optimistic.
“Everyone is having a hard time. I was able to force my way into a company owned by my father’s friend, but Kadota and Mitani are stili looking...”
He had hoped there might be other jobs that Maeda could recommend in his company, but his words made it clear that was not the case. They parted, and Yuichi sighed as he thought about how difficult this was going to be. A cloud seemed to settle above him as he thought about starting a serious search for work, but when compared to life on the deserted island where he had to scrounge for food and everything was inconvenient, he couldn’t help but think that life here, where he would never starve, water for the bath flowed at the push of a button and there was always a warm foton, was much better. He had nothing to show for his day but weariness, and he went home in a foul mood. He took his celi phone out of his coat pocket, but there was no record of Imakura calling.
“Didn’t you say you were coming home this aftemoon?”
The celi phone didn’t answer his muttering. Thinking he stili might call, he held on to his phone in the house, and even put it right outside the door when he was in the bath so he could listen for it. At 2:00 am, it stili hadn’t rung. The next moming he could wait no longer and called Imakura at 9:00 am. all he got was a recording saying the phone had been tumed off or was out of range. Perhaps they were on the bullet train and he tumed it off. He tried again every two hours, but each time the result was the same.
He stili couldn’t get ahold of Imakura via his celi phone the next day, or the next. It no longer made sense to think that he was on the move or that he had forgotten to tum it on. Yuichi was at a loss of what to do, but then decided to call the man’s home number. It was listed in the Suginoki directory, and he found it quickly. The phone was answered by Imakura’s mother Yoshie. Yuichi introduced himself and asked for Imakura, but Yoshie did not answer for a long time.
“He’s not feeling well and is in bed.”
Her tone was unsure.
 
“Is he really that sick?”
Yuichi was genuinely worried.
“His doctor said he would be fine if he slept it off for a few days. Is there something you want?”
“No, nothing in particular...”
“Goodbye then.”
She hung up very suddenly. Yuichi could not hide his bewilderment as he heard the beeping from the broken connection. He thought he had been talking normally, and didn’t understand why she had treated him so coolly.
After that, he called Imakura’s celi phone and home phone several times, but never got through. A week later, he reached an announcement that the phone had been disconnected. They must have changed their number. He couldn’t get ahold of Imakura, and he stili hadn’t found a job. Stress began to build so he took it out on the thing that was closest and most convenient. Shuji’s wife was close to giving birth and had gone to her parents’ house. In the meantime Shuji was having dinner at his parent’s house. Yuichi took advantage of the situation to take jabs at him at every opportunity; it was like Shuji was his brother’s punching bag. One night at dinner, Shuji yelled that it would have been better if his brother had wasted away on the island. Crying, he left for his wife’s parent’s house, and never retumed.
Three weeks after retuming from the island, his search to find a job finally paid off and Yuichi got hired by the product development deparI'ment of a cosmetics company. When he found out he felt so good that he went to Imakura’s house. He would say he came by to teli him about his new job, even if that wasn’t the true reason. Perhaps Imakura didn’t want to see him... the thought had crossed his mind. His mother’s strange behavior, the changed phone number, and the fact that Imakura had made no attempt to contact him.. .there was plenty to make him nervous. But there were just as many reasons to be positive as well. The phone call on the day they had separated; the way he said he wanted to hear Yuichi’s voice. Those couldn’t be lies.
He wanted to see Imakura and talk. If Imakura no longer wanted to see him, or had decided that he didn’t like him, Yuichi wanted to hear the reasons directly from him. In fact, even if that didn’t happen, he wanted to see Imakura. Imakura lived with his mother in an expensive condo.
Yuichi took a deep breath at the entrance and called on the intercom. No answer came. Thinking they might be out he waited and tried several times throughout the day. He took out his notes to make sure he didn’t have the wrong address. It was the right place, and the right number. He looked up when he heard barking and saw an older woman leaving the building to walk her dog. She seemed to be about the same age as Imakura’s mother.
“What a cutc dog.”
She smiled as he spoke.
“Thank you.”
“He’s looks like my brother’s dog. What breed
is he?”
“A toy poodle. Do you like dogs?”
“Yes, kind of.”

His brother Shuji did not have a dog, and Yuichi had no interest in dogs with weird haircuts. But, he kept his salesman’s smile going.
“I’m looking for the Imakuras in 508. It doesn’t look like they’re home.”
The woman tilted her head in surprise.
“You mean the woman who lived here with her son?”
“Yes. I wanted to visit her son.”
“They moved last week. Didn’t you know?” The world around Yuichi tumed dark. He felt the ground spin under him for a moment.
“They’d lived here for a long time, and the decision to move seemed rather sudden...”
He couldn’t speak. His expression must have given away his desperation, because the woman tried to calm him by suggesting he ask the manager to see if they left their new address. He tried but the superintendent only knew that they had moved to another place in the city and did not have any other information. Imakura had disappeared without a trace and took Yuichi’s heart with him.
It was snowing on January 25, the day of the 30th wedding anniversary of Yuichi’s parents. Reservations had been made at an expensive French restaurant in a hotel, but his parents were unaccustomed to high class Westem food, and they sat nervously in their seats. Shuji had planned the evening hoping it would be a chance for all of them to enjoy the evening together. At first, Yuichi didn’t want to go. His sister-in-law, holding her baby, told him that Shuji also wanted to use the opportunity make up with his brother. Yuichi couldn’t say no to her. It had been a year and a half since Yuichi had chased him out of the house with his abuse, and a year had passed before Shuji would even come back to his parent’s house. Recently he came by every so often, and Yuichi could see he was trying to gauge his mood. If he wanted to apologize for saying that Yuichi should have died on the island, he should be a man and apologize directly instead of trying to use others to bring him around. His behavior just made Yuichi more angry, but he couldn’t let his sister-in-law’s efforts go to waste.
Before they went inside the restaurant, Yuichi got in the first punch. He scolded his brother for making reservations at such a popular restaurant when their parents didn’t even know proper table manners. They were sure to embarrass themselves. This meant that Shuji was in a bad mood even before the food came out and they all sat around the round table without talking to each other as if it were a wake. Yuichi spent the time gazing at the snow falling outside with the sparkling city as a backdrop.
“Good evening. Would you like an aperitif?”
Their father drank only sake and knew nothing about wine. He sat as stiff and silent as a stone Buddha as the waiter smiled at him. Yuichi rubbed his eyes. He understood for the first time how hard it is to speak when shocked. The waiter had fair skin, was slightly pudgy, short, and had a high voice. He was much slimmer than Yuichi recalled but there could be no doubt. It truly was Imakura standing there next to the table.
A year and a half had passed since they had left the island. Time can be cruel, and as the weeks passed, Yuichi began to look back at their days of passion as if they had been a dream. It had been that removed from normal life. Even though he’d yeamed to see Imakura, he couldn’t. He had no idea where Imakura had gone. None of their former coworkers had any information on where their former boss had found work. Yuichi had remembered that Imakura once said he liked wine, and when he saw a store that sold wine, he would walk in to look around. But of course, he never found him. As more and more days went by without hearing his voice or seeing his face, Yuichi had all but given up. He began to think that he would never be with him again. It was much easier to give up than to keep up the hope that somehow they would reunite. And yet, here he was!
Yuichi’s body began to shake—from nervousness, not happiness. Imakura hadn’t noticed him yet. If he had, he would have asked someone else to take the table. Or did he see Yuichi and take this table on purpose?
As Yuichi remained board stiff, his brother tried to get Imakura’s attention.
“Please bring champagne and four glasses.”
Imakura was looking at Shuji but his eyes caught sight of Yuichi. The moment their eyes met, Imakura went pale.
“Of.. .of course, sir.”
He had been holding himself well but he slunk away now and escaped into the kitchen. Shuji hadn’t noticed that he was the same fat man who’d been stuck on the island with his brother. That was how thin and well kept the man had become, and how much his face had changed from the weight loss. The champagne arrived soon after, but instead of Imakura, it was brought by the beautiful sommelier. At first, Yuichi thought she was a waitress, but his brother whispered to his parents that this restaurant had a female sommelier. Imakura was keeping himself busy in other parts of the restaurant and he stayed away from their table. Yuichi couldn’t enjoy his meal. His head was filled with the “truth”. Imakura had been avoiding him. The broken contact, the move, they had both been on purpose. The days of passion that Yuichi had tried to forget but could not...Imakura wanted to erase it from his mind.
Imakura had been both a virgin and straight. The unique conditions they found themselves in on the island had made him lose his ability to think clearly and he had fallen under Yuichi’s influence. Though he was willing to open up his body on the island, when they retumed to the normal world, he came to his senses. Sex between two men was ‘unclean.’ Imakura severed their bond using the most basic tactic: he cut off contact. There was nothing Yuichi could’ve done. They had had sex, but they had not dated. Neither had said that they loved the other. Stili...even though he hadn’t said it, Yuichi loved Imakura; even if he was fat, had a bad personallty, and had a strong mother complex. He had never doubted that they would continue their relationship once they got off the island.
Even when Imakura’s mother had said that he was too sick to talk - a clear signal - Yuichi had stili held on to that one percent chance that everything was okay. He believed that they hadn’t had a chance to meet because Imakura wasn’t feeling well. Even as he tried to console himself, the sight of Imakura happily going about his work chipped away at him. Anger built up in him. He wasn’t angry with the man who’d tried to break up with him by cutting off contact, but at himself for trying to hang on even though he knew he had been dumped.
On his way home from the restaurant, Yuichi tumed back several times. He saw only the road behind him. There was no TV moment with the man he loved running after him. He felt betrayed, and by the time he got home, he was in a worse mood than before.
“Yuichi. The food...was it good?” Shuichi shyly asked as arrived at the front door. He had paid for the entire dinner.
“I don’t remember..
Yuichi didn’t notice that his brother was about to cry and went straight to his room. Even after changing and lying on his bed, he couldn’t get Imakura out of his head. He had to forget that he’d seen him today. He couldn’t let it bother him, and it was unseemly to go after someone who had run away. Stili, he had seen him.. .he knew where he worked. Did he really think that he could forget? Could he let it end without knowing the truth? He felt this way because there’d been no closure and Yuichi needed closure. Yuichi got out of bed and grabbed his coat.
 

He ran out pausing just long enough to teli his parents that he was going out, and retraced his steps back to the hotel. He got on the train, and by the time he reached the hotel, it was past I0:00. The restaurant was open until I0:30, and it would be a little after that before Imakura came out.
Walking around the hotel, he found a back entrance for employees. He took up a position a little ways away and looked up at the lights in the restaurant while shivering in the cold air. Several times he thought about leaving. He was scared of getting hurt by what might be said. If Imakura said straight to his face that he didn’t like him, he probably wouldn’t be able to respond.
Even after the restaurant lights were tumed off Imakura did not come out the employee entrance. Every so often the door would open, but Imakura was not among the people who exited. Around midnight, a group of five men and women came out. Yuichi looked at each of them. There was the beautiful sommelier—the one who had come to their table in Imakura’s place. Behind her, in the shadows, was a shorter person. He was wearing a black coat that was too long for his height. It was Imakura. He walked with the woman. Yuichi could not find the right moment to call out and started to follow behind them instead. Imakura talked to her in that familiar high voice until they separated at the station. The woman entered the station but Imakura went past it and continued walking under the raised highway. His posture revealed that he was tired from work. Yuichi closed the gap. He wanted to call out, but he was unsure of what to say. Instead, he tapped Imakura on the shoulder. They were at a Crossing and Imakura’s eyes widened when he saw Yuichi.
“Long time no see.” Yuichi tried to make his voice sound casual.
There was no answer from the man and the set of his jaw and lips didn’t give away what he was feeling. There was no sign of happiness to see him in Imakura’s tense expression. Yuichi had been right. He started to regret coming back out, but he stili continued, trying to seem calm and cool.
“I’m on my way to a friends place. It looked like you from behind.”
He didn’t want him to know he had been stalking him. That’s why he lied.
“This is quite a string of coincidences. You were at the restaurant earlier as well. I was surprised to see you working as a waiter, and a sommelier on top of that. You had said that you dreamed about becoming one once.”
He saw the crosswalk light tum from green to red in the comer of his eye. Imakura did not move for several minutes.
“I found a job in the product development deparI'ment of a cosmetics company. It’s interesting, but it doesn’t pay as good as my old job.”
Imakura stili stood motionless and did not speak. He looked down slightly, exposing the white skin on his neck to the Street lights. Snow fell on it, and melted to the touch.
“Did you drink your Romani Conti? You had said you were going to have some when we finally got off the island.”
The light tumed green. It bothered Yuichi that they were not going to take the opportunity to cross, but Imakura remained motionless and silent. The light tumed red again. The two of them stood at the crosswalk as a tense silence fell; neither said a word. He’d run out of small talk so Yuichi had nothing left but to stare silently at Imakura’s down-tumed head. ‘Just keep ignoring me,’ he thought. ‘That’ll make it easier for me to give up. But as long as you’re here, I will be, too.’
Finally Yuichi couldn’t take it any more. “Don’t just stand there. Say something...”
Imakura’s body was shaking.
“You have something to say to me, don’t you?” Yuichi took the man’s hands and held them tight.
“If you don’t like me, say so. Teli me you never want to see my face again. I’II be fine saying goodbye for the last time right here. I don’t have to see you again. That’s the way love is sometimes.” Each word made his heart colder and colder. The snow brought a chill to the rest of his body. “We were alone on the island. You probably felt like you had no choice but to do as I said. You never loved me. When we got back, you began to doubt whether what we had done there was right or not. That’s fine. I understand.”
Imakura finally raised his face. His nose and face were bright red and he was crying. Out of habit, Yuichi wiped his eyes with his thumb.. .just like he used to do on the island.
“Why are you crying? I haven’t said anything that should make you cry. I came tonight certain that you were going to dump me.” Yuichi spoke honestly.
“I really like you. Even though there was a time when I thought you were fat and had a horrible personallty, once we lived together, I saw how honest and straightforward, and cute, you were. Even though I said I was trying to teach you how to have sex, I really did it because I wanted to have sex with you.”
Imakura began to sob. He repeated ‘Yu-chan’ över and över in a low voice. Hearing this, Yuichi had a hard time maintaining his composure. He began to wonder if perhaps Imakura really did like him.
“Just come right out and say it. Say you never want to see me again, or that that you hate me. Send me away. If you do, I will never bother you again.”
Imakura didn’t say any of these things, but neither did he say that he liked Yuichi. He just fidgeted uncomfortably. Yuichi’s chest bumed with the desire to know how he really felt. Imakura lifted his face and sniffed loudly.
“It was mama...mama said I couldn’t.” His voice was just barely audible. “She asked me about the island. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it all came out. Mama got very angry and said that you were a mean man who had tempted me.. .she was so angry and said that I was to never do anything like that again.” Imakura rubbed his tear-moistened face and went on. “I knew that you had been calling, but mama forbade me to talk to you. Then she suddenly said that we were moving. She threw away the Suginoki address book so I wouldn’t know where you lived. She also changed the number of my celi phone and erased your number from its memory.”
That’s why they never met. As he listened, Yuichi calmed down from his previously agitated State.
“If you wanted to see me, there were ways you could have found my address. You could have asked someone else from the company for my phone number. There are stili people at the office taking care of things. It would have been easy for them to look up my address. You used your mother as an excuse not to do any of those things. You may have sincerely wanted to see.me, but you can’t disobey your mother. She’s more important to you than me.”
He wanted Imakura to say he was wrong, but he didn’t. He only continued with his excuses.
“Mama remarried. You even know who her new husband is. The man from the omithological institute in Miyagi. She used to say that I was the most important person to her, that I was her life, but she found someone else and ran away to Miyagi, leaving me here. It’s so unfair of her to say that I couldn’t see you even while she’s living with the man she loves.”
This was something Imakura should have said directly to his mother instead of out here on the Street. He looked up at Yuichi as if hoping for sympathy, but Yuichi’s gaze was stili cool.
“You feel safe when you listen to your mother, and are always happy with what she says. As long as she loves you, all is right with the world.”
Imakura’s mouth betrayed his confused feelings. Snowflakes fell on his lips as he looked up.
 
“I think Pil just keep looking for someone who’ll teli me I’m the most important thing in their life.” Tears welled up in Imakura’s eyes, making his pupils look like a pond in which someone had thrown a stone. “But I...I wanted to see you so much, Yu-chan.”
“I wanted to see you, too. I wanted it so much that I dreamt about it. But if this happens every time your mother objects, we’II be back to square one. I can’t have that.”
Though their relationship would be över, he felt that that would be better than going through an ordeal över and över.
“Let’s just call it quits.”
Yuichi regretted saying it the instant the words came out of his mouth. But as long as Imakura could not graduate from ‘mama,’ their relationship could never flourish.
“I really, really wanted to see you.”
Imakura’s feelings seemed genuine, but Yuichi didn’t want to have to go through the same pain he had felt for a year and a half every time Imakura’s mother came back into the picture. Yuichi tumed his back to Imakura and started to walk away. He wished they had never been rescued from the island. They could have lived there happily ever after. They would have taken care of each other, and loved each other...But this was reallty. After walking several meters, he got a funny feeling on his back. It was being touched. White fingers slid över his belly. They were.. .the fingers of the one he loved.
“Let go.”

Imakura’s body was close, and his voice was high pitched.
“No. Never again. Not even if I should die.”
Yuichi didn’t understand why Imakura came after him. Perhaps he didn’t want the man he loved getting away and wasn’t thinking of the consequences or what might come later. But that was fine. Yuichi had a knot in his stomach. ‘It’s your own fault that you’re unhappy. It’s you own fault that you’re crying. You may say you will never let go even if you die, but you were the one who brought this on yourself.’ His thoughts tormented him and forced Yuichi to push away Imakura’s hand as he tumed.
“I will only say this once, and give you one chance to answer. You have to choose between your mother and me right now. If you choose your mother, I will never have anything to do with you again. If you choose me, I will never let you go back to your mother again.” His words were sharp as a surgeon’s stroke, but were necessary.
“It is your choice.”
Snow stili fell lightly and several cars passed. Imakura looked down and was silent. But it tumed out that he was just sneezing. He finally looked up, sniffled, and laughed even as he looked as though he were about to cry.
“I choose you.” His voice was low, but Imakura spoke with conviction.
They hugged, ignoring the stares of onlookers. Yuichi had no intention of ever letting go of the man who had chosen him. In his head, he swore he would never let him go back to his mother, even if he demanded. After kissing him lightly on the ear, he whispered that he wanted to go to Imakura’s place. “Warm me,” he said. It was a clear come on.
Imakura nodded slightly and the two walked arm in arm through the snow. Imakura lived on the fifth floor of a seven-story aparI'ment building not far from the highway. He opened the door. The second he heard the door close, Yuichi gave his lover a rib-cracking hug.
“Yu-chan...”
He kissed him hard, but Imakura stayed pressed up against him and did not flee. Yuichi wanted him so bad so he pushed him onto the floor. He pulled off his sweater and undershirt and kissed his soft skin. He licked his pale nipples and then sucked them hard.
“Ahh...nnn...”
His sensitive body started to shiver. Yuichi was too impatient to take off all of his clothes. His shaking fingers pulled down Imakura’s zipper, and his right hand slid down into his underwear. His fingers grasped his small but stiff penis. But something was different.. .Yuichi pulled down his slacks and underwear in one swoop. Looking down, he was surprised to see a pink tip and no foreskin.
“You had surgery?”
Yuichi lightly pinched the tip making Imakura’s whole body quiver.
“Yeah...”
He felt angry that Imakura had changed without him knowing. Yuichi grabbed his penis roughly and Imakura let out a loud yelp.

“Who said you could do that to yourself?” “Yu-chan...”
“This is mine. all mine. How could you do that without telling me?”
He squeezed över and över. Imakura cried large tears and yelled out ‘I'm sorry” several times.
“If you don’t like it, I’ll have surgery again to change it back. I’m so sorry...so sorry...”
Not like that was even possible.. .but his words got Yuichi so hot that he could barely hold back.
“Fine. I forgive you this time. But remember, your body is mine. Don’t do anything to it without telling me.”
“Okay... Okay...”
They kissed in the cold, dark hallway. The next thing he knew, they were both naked and holding each other, laying on top of coats that were now stained with semen. They showered together, and climbed into bed naked. They couldn’t stop holding each other.. .touching each other...
“You’re very soft here.”
Yuichi pressed against the area that had so lovingly accepted his hard cock. It had a distinct heat that was different from anywhere else.
“What happened? Were you masturbating when I wasn’t around?”
Imakura blushed and buried his face in his pillow.
“You were, weren’t you?”
Yuichi took Imakura’s finger and forced it down there.

“No...don’t...”
“What? Even though you were doing it yourself?”
“I...I haven’t...”
Yuichi placed Imakura’s finger next to his and pushed them both in. Stili slick with semen, it accepted both fingers without resistance. As Yuichi moved the fingers around, Imakura moaned slightly and his breathing quickened.
“I like your fingers better...”
Imakura took his own finger out.
“My fingers are so small, they don’t reach as far as yours do.”
“See. You were playing with yourself.” Imakura looked like he was about to cry at being found out, but he bit down softly on Yuichi’s thumb when he brought his hand up to caress his cheek. As Yuichi pulled it away, he reached out with his tongue for more.
“What were you doing while we were apart?” Imakura asked while being cradled in Yuichi’s arms. “Did you masturbate too?”
He had been very reliant on his right hand, but he was not about to teli Imakura the truth and smiled.
“I had no problem finding others. I had sex quite often while you were ignoring me.”
Imakura looked like he was about to cry yet again but something else showed on his face.
“Liar.”
“I am not. all I have to do is wave my hand and they come running.”
 

Imakura fidgeted in his arms.
“What? You’re angry? You’re the one who left me, you know.”
“But you’re the only one...I’ve only done it with you...”
It was cute how his shoulders heaved when he cried. He crawled into a ball, and Yuichi hugged him from above.
“It is a lie,” he whispered in his ear. “I haven’t slept with anyone else. You’re the only one for me. Don’t get so angry.”
He kissed his neck and hairline to prove his innocence. Imakura relaxed and looked back at Yuichi.
“Never fail in love with anyone else...always be my Yu-chan.”
Though he was five years older, his spoiled child tone made Yuichi’s heart race.
“If you’re good and never cheat on me, I will love you forever. I will teli you I love you my whole life.”
“Deal.”
He nodded several times and nuzzled Yuichi like a eat. Then Imakura suddenly got serious.
“Will you be here in the moming?”
“Yes.”
“You aren’t going home?”
“No.”
He seemed relieved by this answer.
“I dreamt about you all the time. I was so happy to see you.. .but then I would wake up and I’d be so lonely. I thought that I would rather never dream again if this was all I had to look forward to, but everything is fine now because it’s not a dream. When I open my eyes, I won’t be alone.”
He again nuzzled Yuichi’s chest and closed his eyes in contenI'ment. They kissed över and över, and fell asleep tangled in each other.
Yuichi was the first to awaken. He blinked at the unfamiliar ceiling and surroundings. As he came to, he remembered that he was in Imakura’s aparI'ment. The man he had loved över and över last night was lying next to him. He pulled up the sheets hoping to see his naked body, but the cold made Imakura curl up like a cat. His body was covered with evidence of their love-making. When Yuichi touched Imakura’s shoulder and hips ever so softly, his lover let out a quick sneeze. Pulling the sheets över them quickly, they hugged. They whispered sweet nothings as they clung tightly to each other. When he licked the lips that he had bruised, Imakura whimpered slightly and buried his head in Yuichi’s chest. He loved him so much he could barely stand it, and he cradled his head possessively. The sweet, quiet moming aI'mosphere was broken by the ringing of the phone next to the bed. Imakura did not move to answer it.
“The phone is ringing...”
Imakura just shook his head and kept his eyes closed tight. The clock said that it was after 9:00 am. He didn’t seem to have an answering machine because the phone just kept ringing. Thinking he didn’t want Imakura to miss an important call from work, Yuichi picked it up. If it was work related, he would take a message.
 

“Hello.”
“Good moming, Takashi.”
It was the voice of a composed woman, the woman who had been so cold to him on the phone many times before. He felt the blood drain from his body.
“What’s wrong with your voice? Have you caught a cold?”
Yuichi quickly shook Imakura awake and put the phone to his ear.
“Oh. Mama...good moming.”
The voice on the other end was so loud that Yuichi could hear it.
“Um... that was...”
As Imakura stumbled to find the words, his mother figured out what was going on. Her voice became sharper.
“Yes...yes, mama...yes, but...” Imakura could not get a word in edgewise and finally just sat there listening. His expression got progressively darker. Looking down, he bit his lip.
“Despite what you say, mama, Yu-chan is not a bad person.”
The hand that held the phone began to shake uncontrollably.
“And, besides... I love Yu-chan... so...”
Yuichi put his hand on Imakura’s and lifting his head, whispered that he would talk to her if need be. He knew it would be just like adding fuel to a fire, but he could not bear the sight of Imakura taking the abuse. “No...Fil take care of it.”
Imakura shook his head and tightened his grip on the receiver.
“, I'II be fine. I know myself...” He stopped and his expression stiffened. He sat motionless with the stiff expression as he hung up. “What did she say?”
“She’s coming down from Miyagi.”
He slumped back onto the bed as if a taught string had been cut and started to cry. Yuichi held him and gently rubbed his head. Imakura had done the best that he could...Yuichi understood.
“I’m really going to get it.” He didn’t let go of Yuichi as he spoke. “But no matter what she says, even if she disowns me, I want to be with you.”
After a long, long kiss, Imakura said in a low voice, “I’m sorry, mama.”
The End