PROLOGUE II
THE GIRL’S WISH
I liked the smile on his face when he picked up his lunch.
And whenever he talked to other women, the way he got flustered and turned red when they teased him bothered me a little.
And when a shadow fell over his bright determination, when he was struggling and hurt but even then did his best to hold his head high and push onward, I really did want to help him. Genuinely. Without any ulterior motive.
And on, and on, and on…
With every new side of him that I gleaned from so many laughably inconsequential moments we spent together, I ended up falling for him.
I never wanted to admit it. Even now, the thought alone is incredibly embarrassing. But I feel drawn to him.
I eventually reached a point where I just threw up my hands in surrender, accepting my loss after tipping my hand to reveal it was all a bluff. I stuck my tongue out and said of course I knew all along, not that anyone was listening. And once I did all that, the smile that came over me was so serene, even I had no words.
Yes. I adore him. Everything became easier after I admitted it. My body felt lighter, as if a tranquil breeze buoyed me. It was like I had found some kind of treasure. But at the same time, it was undeniable that something else clawed inside my chest.
If I had to guess the main source of the unease I felt in my heart, it would probably be the almost unnoticeable change in the one I considered precious.
Lyu, your face is red.
Y-you must be seeing things.
Are you looking at Bell?
N-no! Of course not!
She’s beautiful, noble, and always dignified, but I also know that she tends to lose her head whenever something troubles her, so it was obvious. I had thought for a while that this moment might come eventually, so that wasn’t what surprised me.
Yes. There should have been no reason to feel a sense of danger. At the same time, I realized that things couldn’t remain the same, either.
His coming to the restaurant and picking up his lunch, the ensuing banter with the girls here who tease him—those everyday moments could disappear without warning.
For once, I was shaken to my core. Behind my unchanging smile and serene expression, I was frozen in place.
“What is it, Syr? You’ve been feeling kind of off lately,” Runoa said.
“…Is that how it seems?”
“Recently, your smile’s been a little different.”
I patted my cheeks, checking to see if something had changed, but I didn’t notice anything. Runoa started to grin.
“Nya-ha-ha! A maiden’s worries, mewhaps?”
“You can talk to us, Syr! If that helps, then trade with me-ow on cleaning duty!”
Chloe clung onto my back while Ahnya poked me from the front.
It was the sort of daily life that could not get any better. Something irreplaceable. And the scene unfolding now would someday disappear. The mortal realm was merciless. Time passed in the blink of an eye. I knew that well.
But the someday that I had feared might have come much sooner than I had expected. The moment I realized that, I could not keep myself together. My chest ached. It was far too late now, but I had learned something I never should have acknowledged. But even so, there was no stopping it anymore.
When did the means of reaching my goal become my actual goal?
When did the thornlike lie buried deep in my heart begin to hurt me?
What do I truly wish for?
I know who his eyes follow and who he chases after.
I’m perfectly aware exactly what those red eyes are looking up at.
I already understand who it is that he yearns for.
But my feelings have already been unleashed.
I want to know. I want to know. I want to know.
Are these feelings real?
Is this me?
Can I become this?
Can I break free from the divine yoke?
This isn’t love. That’s what I want to prove.
Yes.
That’s exactly why.
I had no choice but to harden my resolve.
I had no choice but to give in to these impulses to prove I wasn’t wrong.
Even if it was a resolve that went against her divine will, I had no choice but to try.
I climbed the long staircase. Opened the imposing door. Proceeded into the chamber beyond.
I was granted an audience with the solitary queen sitting on her throne—with the goddess sitting there with a smile. And foolish as it might be, as despicable as it might be, I faced the being who could not be defied.
I approached the goddess with a proposition.
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