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Flash Marriage - Chapter 42




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Chapter 42

I am in deep thoughts .



I am thinking to see if this world has anything, something that won’t need money, something that can allow a pervert feel first love and match his preference .

Why not gift him an artwork? General perverts usually adore artworks .

But should I gift something that matches up to Jiang Li’s taste…wouldn’t it be the same as making bankrupt?

Thus, I have decided to embrace upon a mission . I, Guan Xiao Yan will personally handmake a piece of art and give it to Jiang Li .

In fact, art is a very mysterious thing . Ugly things do not matter, as long as you boast it as a flower, then even the tiniest ugly things can make people fight to pay silver .

Due to the urgency of time and the limitations of the variety of art that I possess, I finally decided to gift Jiang Di a DIY ceramic artwork . No matter what I made, I did everything carefully to meet Jiang Li’s requirements .

So on December 24, that one day I applied for a temporary vacation . Holding He Zi, I walked to a large scale pottery shop .

When He Zi heard that tomorrow is Jiang Li’s birthday and that it is only today that I will be preparing a present, she immediately knocked on my head and scold me for not being considerate . I was bitterly sad by her abuse… . my heart thinking heck does she understand?

I think I have very artistic attainments, the owner also praised me… . but that was because I can make an ordinary vase into a distorted mess . It is very rare . However, only He Zi is so narrow-minded . She said that my artwork is appallingly typical . I once again lamented, what do you know ah …

Of course, my words couldn’t come out to refute her . Although my work is also a piece of art……even I can’t help but squint at the ugly gift .

He Zi can no longer stand it and then made her own beautiful bowl . While touching her bowl, she remarks “Why don’t we add a few words to it?”
I continued to stare at my pottery that couldn’t get any uglier . It was originally ugly, if I add a few more markings to it won’t it be even uglier? So stiffly laughed towards He Zi and agreed . “Fine, but you have to help me . ”

He Zi uses her elbows to bump me . “What nonsense are you spouting! This is your present to Jiang Li, of course, you have to do it . ”

I bitterly made out an expression with no comment .

He Zi seeming to understand my pain, then adds “Sigh, you stupid ah! Why do you insist on carving Chinese characters? We can try French, Japanese, or even Manchu Mongolian words . As long as Jiang Li can’t understand then it is fine . ”

That also seems legit . I am truly stupid . Embracing all the hope I have, my eyes gleamed at He Zi . “Then, do you know French, Japanese, or even Manchu Mongolian words?”

He Zi shakes her head . “I am only responsible for ideas . ”

My mood deflated like a balloon .

At this time, He Zi suddenly pointed towards the poster by the counter . “Look, it’s all weird words! There’s definitely something we want . ” While saying, she pulled me forward .

He Xi pointed to words on to top corner in the poster . “This, I know . It’s happy birthday . ”

Nonsense, even I know that too .

He Zi’s hands moved downwards . “And this is French . ”

Me: “Oh, what does it say?”

He Zi shakes her head . “I don’t know, but I know that it is not “hello . ”

I suddenly have a deep urge to smack her butt with my feet .
Just when I was hesitating to commit the deed or not, a deep voice emits from our back . “That also means ‘happy birthday . ’”

He Zi and I raised our head at the same time to meet a bald uncle in his 40s standing close to He Zi . From the beginning to the end, his eyes were unmoving on He Zi’s D cup .

He Zi straightened her back and retreated two steps backward . Her eyes releasing a dangerous gleam .

While our eyes were filled with hostility and contempt for the uncle, it had no effect on him . He walked absently to the front of the poster, pointing to the dotted alphabet below the French and said, “This is the German meaning of happy birthday . ” Moving his fingers, he continues, “Italian’s happy birthday, and Spanish’s happy birthday … ”

He Zi looks at his confident face and interrupts . “What about the last one?”

My line of sight also followed to the end of the few words . Those displayed characters that are much stranger . Anyhow that I have never seen before . ”

The bald uncle expressed embarrassment . “This seems to be Hebrew . As to what is meant …”

He Zi exaggeratedly laughed and said, “What does it mean? Of course, it means ‘Happy Birthday . ’ This old lady has learned Hebrew at the age of six . ”

The bald uncle looked strangely at He Zi before finally putting it down with a smile and left .

I touched He Zi’s shoulders and challenged her with a squinting look . “Little girl, at the age of six you still couldn’t memorize the poem of ‘Chu He Ri Dang Wu . ’”

(T/A): 锄禾日当午 is the poem used . It is a famous child’s poem used to teach a child of the hardships when farming and planting to bring food to one’s table . If memory serves me well, that was what my teacher told me . In other words, it means the hardships to bear fruit to something .



He Zi glared at me before continuing, “Stop the useless talk and hurry to carve the Hebrew words . ”

I looked at the strange words . “Are you sure it is the meaning of ‘Happy Birthday’? What if it is some sort of curse words? Then won’t Jiang Li strangle me to death . ”

He Zi knocks on my head . “I say, can your brain have any more holes in them? All these other languages have the meaning of ‘Happy Birthday,’ how can these Hebrew words be cursed words?”

I pondered at her words before realizing the truth in her words . Thus, I took my stiff hands and craved the words . So what if they are curse words? Jiang Li will never be able to comprehend the meaning of it .

I covered the whole body of the vase with Happy Birthday in Hebrew, an ancient symbol that gave this abstraction an overwhelming sense of mystery . Along the perfect combination of modern art with traditional elements together, this is simply a genius masterpiece .

Of course, He Zi feels that my masterpiece has another version: neither good nor bad .

I hate He Zi, really really hate .

……


As I embrace my masterpiece, I walk home . It was night by the time I came back . Today is Christmas Eve, and on the way, I saw many brightly lit up Christmas trees . It was very pretty, only, I am not the type to believe in God but Buddha . Therefore, my interest towards Christmas diminished only leaving a festive feel .

Just as I walked into my house, in front of my face lies a big Christmas tree in the living room that shocked me . That Christmas tree was decorated with so many colored balls, colored lights, and on the bottom were filled with beautifully wrapped boxes . I retreated a few steps backward in fear . Looking at the door plate, I noted indeed this is my house .

I lightly walked close to the Christmas tree and circled around it . Then I aimed my shout toward the study room, “Jiang Li, is this plaything something you made?”
Jiang Li walked out from the study room and leaned against the door frame nodding . “Yes . ”

I touched my chin, contemplating . “I couldn’t tell you are still so immature . At the age of six, I have long stopped doing this kind of thing… . ”

Jiang Li stared at the Christmas tree and with a poker face replied . “Yeah? They said that females tend to like this kind of stuff . ” As he talks, he turned his gaze toward me and asked, “You don’t like this kind of stuff?” Giving me the glare, I can only interpret it as ‘you dare not like it?!’

What the heck! I could only force nod and say, “I like it very much . How can I not like it? Hehehe……”

Jiang Li’s line of sight suddenly fell onto the present that lied within my embrace . Walking to my front, his face was brightly lit with a smile . Lowering his head he questions, “What are you holding?”

The gleaming light from the Christmas tree brought a shimmering light reflecting on Jiang Li’s face . This gave a strange beauty to him . I could only sigh that these type of weird situation only works for perverts like him .

I took hold of the box and shoved it to Jiang Li . While smiling, I said, “ Jiang Li, happy birthday!”

Jiang Hu rubbed my head and then took the gift box smiling . He quickly opened the package . As a result, that ugly piece of artwork was exposed to him . He held the bottle and asked, “Where did you buy? This model is really … unique . ”



I protruded my lips and proudly exclaimed all the credits to myself . “I personally handmade it . This type of brand is one of kind . How is it? Don’t I have talent?”

Jiang Li gave me a complimenting smile and then flipped the pottery over to carefully study the words inscribed . All of a sudden, he lowly chuckled . His laughter was very pleasant to the ears but I only snorted . Turning around, he puts one hand on my shoulder blades and another wrapped on the pottery . Still while suppressing his merry laughter, he looked at me . “Guan Xiao Yan, I love you too . ”

By this point, Jiang Li was very close to me . So close that I could, in fact, feel his breath on my neck . My instinct flashed warning me of danger and I hurried to push him away . “What are you doing?!”

Jiang Li gently shakes the pottery as he laughed smugly . “Don’t you love me? No need to be shy . ” I was turned off by his narcissistic attitude and so questioned his weird behavior . “Isn’t it just a vase? Why are you like this?”

Jiang Li massages the pottery and time after time would gently tap on the character engraved . He lifted his brows and smirked at me . “Did you personally carve these characters?”
Me: “Yeah, you still don’t know what these words mean? Come, let me teach you… . . ”

“Of course I know . ” Jiang Li’s lips hooked by its corner sinisterly . “This is Hebrew and it means ‘I love you . ’ I should count this as your confession? This is pretty literal . ”

I coldly snorted three times before refuting . “Whatever Jiang Li, it clearly means ‘happy birthday,’ you don’t need to prank me anymore . ” Jiang Li is not

The smile on Jiang Li’s face fell and upturned . “You really don’t know it’s meaning?”

I continued to coldly laugh . “Of course I know, this means ‘happy birthday . ’ You may not know these sort of things but I understand it well . Relax, this is something that only this lady can do . I am one of a kind… . ” Oh my god, I almost threw up at this part .

“Guan Xiao Yan . ” Jiang Li puts the pottery on the sofa and continues, “This means ‘I love you’ in Hebrew . I am currently thinking whether I should accept it or not . ”

My face became furrowed with anger . I took my notebook (laptop) that was conveniently lying around . “ You don’t know . I don’t know . Only Baidu knows!”

Jiang Li ignores me and sat staring at the pottery for awhile . The finally, for a moment the silence was broken . “I have decided . Seeing you so passionate made me pity you . So I have decided to accept you . ”

(T/A): I was drinking water while I was translating . Yes, I have accidentally spilled it . Why is Jiang Li so cute?!!! OMG!! HE COULDN’T FIND THE MOMENT TO CONFESS SO HE USED THIS CHANCE TO START THE FIRST MOVE!

Immediately, I picked up a pillow and threw it towards his face . While scouring the net, I yelled at this shameless bastard . “Accept your ass! This old lady doesn’t want to be accepted by a pervert!”

Jiang Li, on one hand, hugging the pottery so dearly, on the other hand, stayed silent . He neither refuted nor resisted . I could only found his current behavior a bit weird but continued to ignore him . I was too busy surfing the net for the meaning .

That was when I found it . I snatched the pottery from Jiang Li and matched the words one by one . I was surprised .

It was not the same . Really not the same .

The words on the pottery and the words on the internet were spelled differently . The Hebrew words were not the same .

I was suspicious that it was due to the carving of the words being too ugly that I could be wrong . After matching it, again and again, I have arrived at the conclusion, it was indeed different .

A hand stretches forward and snatched the ugliest pottery back . While embracing the pottery, Jiang Li annoyingly remarks . “Guan Xiao Yan, can you be any dumber?”

I was not pleased, so I searched the meaning of ‘I love you’ in the Hebrew translator and the result was like Jiang Li said .

I slumped against the sofa . My limbs were weak . “Jiang Li give that pottery back to me . Tomorrow I will bring you another one . ”

Jiang Li: “It’s alright . I only like this kind of contorted stuff . For example, this pottery . Another example…” He looks up with his eyes pointing at me . “You . ”

(T/A): I died .

My chest was heaving up and down . I wanted to choke the heck out of him . Immediately I wanted t to grab the pottery away from him . I can’t lose this big of a face to this kind of person .

Jiang Li sensitively picks up a hint of danger and immediately stood up hiding the pottery behind him . Lowering his head, his voice contained a tone of a sneer . “Guan Xiao Yan, can you be any more better? The things that you have gifted, can you still shamelessly take it back?”

I could only slump on the sofa not moving . My head was filled with anger that I wanted to pound myself onto the wall .

Jiang Li was unforgiving . He squatted down and patted my head . That feeling was as if he was raising a Golden Retriever . Then he padded his chin on the couch and watched me proudly . His face was very close to mine . I could see his long eyelashes shaking . The inner demon within really wanted to root out all these long weeds . This old lady is a woman but still, have no eyelashes of his length!

Jiang Li’s eyes blink as they careful watch me . “Guan Xiao Yan, I think you did this on purpose . You actually want to confess to me, right?”

I rolled my eyes and sighed . “Please, even if I am no good I will never ask a pervert out, okay?”

Jiang Li: “The what if…I am not gay?”

I took my hand and comforted Jiang Li . Patting his broad back, I lamented . “Be a good child, this kind of thing has no what ifs . You are gay . ”

Jiang Li: “Then what if…I said that I am bi?”

Me: “Then…that is even more perverted . I say, don’t tell me you are actually bi?”

Jiang Li stood up and condescendingly looked at me . Within his sleepy eyes, he retorted . “How can that be possible . You are the kind of woman that I will never look at . ”

I feel as if Jiang Li’s word is weird but couldn’t detect where . So I coldly snorted and replied, “Relax, you are the kind of man that I will also never look at . ”



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