Interlude - The Heavy Warrior
Hmm? An interview…? Goblin slaying? What a strange thing to ask about.
Some goblins attack a village. The villagers come to us. Please get rid of the nest. Help us! We beg you, O heroes! So we get our weapons, go in there, kill a few goblins, and get our money. What’s to talk about? Your basic hack and slash.
It’s quick work. I won’t deny we were lucky, too, but… Well. You get some experience in tracking and fighting, and the Guild gives you a surprising amount of credit for helping out. I mean, I understand. My hometown was attacked by goblins not long ago. And it’s true, some adventurers came to help out.
It’s just… How do I say this? There are three types of people who hunt goblins: People who beat them easily. People who take their lumps and learn from them. And people who underestimate the goblins and get wiped.
Which are we? We beat them easily! Well…anyway, we do now. We took our licks before. We brought a lantern in with us, but our scout fell and broke it. Then everything was pitch-dark. We found out later the goblins had planted a trip wire. A trap. Goblins set a trap!
The light and the noise gave away our position, and once things went dark, there were goblins everywhere.
The kid—our magic user—got a little worried and tried a spell. “Don’t do it,” I says. “Save it for something big. You’ve only got one. Don’t waste it on some shrimp monster.” After that, all hell broke loose.
Goblins all around us. We’re fighting as hard as we can, slice, slice, slice. Death. Screams. You don’t know if you’re hitting rocks or cutting flesh. You’ve been cut, too. You’re just wearing cheap armor. When I found myself trying to swing a broadsword in a tunnel, that’s when I thought I was going to die.
Hey, what are you smiling at, dammit? The greatest warriors started out risking their lives against goblins. You want to be a paladin, don’t you laugh.
Sorry about that. That lady—that knight—is in my party. I’m the leader, though, all right?
Where was I? There was a big one leading them. My sword got caught on something. He had an ax, and he’s swinging it everywhere. I thought for sure I was gonna die. Then wham, a Firebolt fries him.
Our knight had some miracles; we had money, got equipment and antidotes and everything. It practically cost more to get ready than we got for doing the quest…but it saved me. It saved all of us.
That’s why I always say, as long as you’re prepared, goblins ain’t nothing.
But say you knew you could win ninety-nine times out of a hundred. Who’s to say this isn’t the hundredth time? There’s no guarantees. You’re just playing the odds.
If you’re gonna die because of a bad roll, you might as well do it fighting a dragon.
And we’re Silver-ranked now. Grunt work like goblins won’t keep our party equipped.
Anyway, goblins are the weakest monsters, right? So why not let beginners handle ’em? Sure, not all of them make it, but…they’ve got better chances than against a dragon, right?
Still…it’s only a chance.
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