Goblin Slayer - Volume 13 - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - I Don't Care, I Still Love Adventurers!

“There’s no way the likes of you could be an adventurer!”

“You think so?”

“Sure do!”

The boy puffed out his chest self-importantly toward the girl, their conversation barely carrying over the cacophony.

The girl, a scrawny thing with grayish-black hair, acted as if the boy’s words hardly registered with her. She looked so calm—even though he was sure it was a put-on and that she didn’t understand anything. The boy laughed.

It had all begun with a simple errand.

A boy from a frontier village had a chance to go to town alone only once in a blue moon. He was overjoyed by the prospect, feeling his entire life had led up to this moment as he spent half a day working his way into town.

Then, just like that, it seemed to him that in the space of that same half day, the moment his entire life had led up to was over: To his complete astonishment, he ran into a girl from his village who had come to town on the same day. As if that wasn’t infuriating enough, she even had a sword at her hip. This, when the boy wasn’t even allowed to touch a weapon! It made him livid.

He couldn’t believe she was walking around with such a thing. She could barely carry it for the weight; it made her lean to one side. If it had been him with the sword, he would have stood up straighter, walked prouder.

When he’d asked her, “What are you doing here?” she’d answered, “Daddy asked me to run an errand.” As if it were no big deal!

“Yeah, well, I’ll bet you got lost on the way.”

She must have; he was sure. But she’d only replied “Maybe?” as if what he was saying had gone clean over her head.

Did that mean she was done with her errand already, then? The boy felt another inexplicable flash of anger. “Why are you just standing here like an idiot, then?” he’d demanded.

“Well, where else would I stand?” the girl had said, clearly a bit confused. “We’re right in front of the Adventurers Guild.”

She tilted her head as if she thought this ought to be perfectly obvious to him, and it enraged the boy. That was when he uttered the first words that came into his head: “There’s no way the likes of you could be an adventurer!” And that brought them to their current exchange.

“They’ll let anyone with an ounce of muscle on ’em join up, y’know?” the boy went on.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and most of them barely scrape by. You’d probably end up sold off somewhere pretty much right away. Don’t think they’d get much of a price for you, though.” The boy was simply parroting something he’d picked up from his parents; he didn’t really understand what it meant to sell someone off. He was confident about the price part, at least. After all, she was a rough-and-tumble kid whose dad had been a mercenary before he’d set up shop on the fringes of their village. Plus, she was stumpy and scrawny. Nothing like the older girls of the village who’d had to sell themselves off during that famine years ago.

The boy could never understand why they even let someone like this live in their village. That was why he didn’t see the contradiction in what he was saying. Namely, that “anyone with an ounce of muscle” could become an adventurer, but somehow this girl couldn’t. Given the way he was thinking, maybe he didn’t even see it as a contradiction.

“You know adventurers fight monsters and ghosts and stuff, right? Do you even realize that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I think you’d have your hands full even chasing away some rats or goblins with a stick.”

“You’re not wrong…”

The boy smirked and snorted. Goblins, rats—even he could deal with them. He couldn’t stand the way the girl got all full of herself over that sort of thing.

She was always like this. Whatever you said to her, she just gave you that innocent look, like it didn’t mean anything to her at all. Where did she get off acting all high-and-mighty? She lived in a shack. Who cared if her dad used to be a mercenary or whatever?

She spent all day every day swinging a stick with those lanky arms or otherwise doing repairs on the villagers’ farm equipment. Anyone could do that stuff. She was pretty much just playing around. She was nothing like him—he spent all his time diligently helping his parents in the fields or coming to town on important errands like this one. And she was going to be an adventurer? There was full of yourself and there was full of yourself.

“You could never handle a bandit gang—let alone a dragon. You wouldn’t last a second.” He took a step forward and jabbed her in her puny chest, causing her to yelp “Eep!” and stumble a little. The boy sneered at the pathetic display. “I mean, geez, do you even have the money for some armor or a helmet?” he said.

He knew the answer perfectly well. He knew the girl’s father couldn’t possibly have saved that much. She might try to borrow her dad’s old equipment, but the boy was certain it wouldn’t fit her (even though he’d never seen it). Sure, she had that sword at her hip, but it was so heavy it pulled her to one side. She could barely carry it—she’d never be able to swing it around. (Not like him!) Then again, maybe he wasn’t comparing them so directly in his mind.

“It’s true; we don’t have that much…,” she said.

“Which is exactly why you could never be an adventurer!” This was, as far as the boy was concerned, an immovable fact; he could work out the exact reasons later. The girl didn’t say anything, which the boy took as a sign that he’d won. He grinned triumphantly and said, “I remember years ago, when you got lost in the woods and came home crying!”

“…”

“If you tried to be an adventurer, I’ll bet it’d happen again—you’d come running back, crying the whole way.” But he wouldn’t want a feckless idiot like that back in their village. He wondered how she would react if he told her that—what kind of face she would make. Right now, she was looking at the ground, and he couldn’t see her expression.

“That so?” she asked, almost in a whisper.

“Sure is!” he said, almost as if he was pushing her murmur aside with his pronouncement. The boy nodded, thoroughly pleased with his own cleverness. “Anyway, see ya. Unlike you, I’m busy. I gotta do the job I came here for!”

He practically knocked her out of the way. There was a weak “Oof” from behind him—he could hear her stumble, or maybe she fell on her butt—not that he paid that any mind. It didn’t really matter to him what she said. He didn’t even have to give her the time of day. He was the oldest son of his family—someday he would get the fields for himself. He was a different class of person from a girl who lived in a shack.

The girl sat there for a moment longer staring at the ground, then slowly climbed to her feet. Without a word, she dusted herself off—then looked up at the entrance to the Guild. There was something there the boy had completely missed. A single sheet of parchment. It was a beautiful piece of paper, decorated with ornate letters. They were holding an event for adventurer hopefuls.

Maybe the boy hadn’t been able to read it. Then again, neither could the girl. But she’d heard what someone had said when they’d passed by the sign.

“A dungeon exploring contest,” the girl whispered to herself.

But of course nobody heard her speak; her voice was lost in the bustle.

§

“What do you mean, I can’t participate?!” Female Knight howled.

“Why would you think you could?” Heavy Warrior shot back.

They were in the tavern at the Adventurers Guild, having a hearty meal before they went out on an adventure. One wouldn’t normally order alcohol on such an occasion, but they somehow seemed a bit tipsy.

“It’s an event for beginners and would-be adventurers,” Heavy Warrior went on. “A promotional thing. They only want rank amateurs.”

“You’re being silly. The path of faith is long and severe—on the road of devotion, I’m still only an amateur myself.” She hadn’t even been granted a proper miracle yet—a point Heavy Warrior knew better than to observe aloud.

Scout Boy didn’t, though: “Sis, you don’t even have any miracles yet,” he said. Druid Girl shook her staff at him and gave him a kick in the shins under the table, provoking a shout.

“I admit, it’s a bit lonely not to be able to be part of the winter event,” she said, sitting primly in her seat and completely ignoring her party member rubbing his leg and groaning. The fact that she’d started her adventuring career by lying about her age had been a hit to her credibility, but she had proved herself a capable spell caster and a fully deserving member of the group.

“We might not be able to participate, but I’ll bet we can be involved somehow,” Half-Elf Light Warrior said. His tone was conciliatory; he might have been speaking to Druid Girl, or he might have been trying to calm down Female Knight. He only looked up for the briefest of moments from poring over the party’s account books at a corner of the table. “Those ruins are supposed to be empty, but accidents happen. I expect plenty of quests looking for adventurers to clean up any messes.”

“In other words, we can be the first to reach the finish line—we just need to pretend to be on a rescue mission!” said Scout Boy.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Heavy Warrior replied with a deep sigh. He had a feeling that if he didn’t rein Female Knight in, she might put on a helmet and try to pass herself off as a novice. “How’s our money look to get us through the winter?” he asked the half-elf.

“We’ll have enough and to spare,” came the calm response. Novices might find finances tight, but experienced adventurers spent money like water. Delve enough ruins and dungeons and fight enough monsters, and you could find treasure chests containing all the money you could ever want. Though even these, as beginners, had complained of hardly having enough for accommodations each night or to purchase magical equipment.

“I would be more worried about losing our edge from leading an indolent life all winter,” the half-elf continued.

“Guess we don’t have a choice then,” Heavy Warrior said, grinning like a wild animal. “Maybe we’d better go make a little pocket change.” This earned a cheer from Female Knight (of course) as well as the younger boy and girl. After all, being involved with any kind of festivity was sure to be a fun adventure—but…

“Lucky them…” This murmur came from Club Fighter, sitting not far away with his chin in his hands. He’d become rather adept at his two-handed style, using his sword and his club simultaneously, such that people had finally stopped treating him like a rookie. But he was still far, far from the level of an expert. In other words, he and his party wouldn’t be able to participate in any capacity.

“Gee, ’twasn’t that long ago that I registered. Guess I could join in without kickin’ up too much of a fuss,” said Harefolk Hunter easily, and she chuckled. Her fur had turned pure white almost without the others realizing it.

“No fair,” Club Fighter grumbled.

“It is fair,” Supreme God’s Cleric said firmly, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “It’s also a reminder that we don’t have time to spend playing around. We can’t be part of any winter festivities.”

“Er… Yeah, well… Yeah.” When she put it that way, there was nothing he could say.

Breaking out of one’s novice shell hardly meant one would immediately start raking in the dough—even if they were substantially better off than when they had been living hand to mouth. These days they could afford a cot even for Club Fighter, not just the girls; and their diets were starting to grow more varied. Then again, the interest in food was partly thanks to their new companion, who would happily eat just about anything and declare it scrumptious.

One didn’t have to be a harefolk to need food and drink in order to function. Club Fighter sure wished he could get his hands on a magic sword, though.

I don’t really have any complaints about our equipment, he thought. It’s our health that really matters now. There flashed through his mind a memory of his old friend’s warmth—the warmth of a woman, despite her small frame. He cast himself prostrate on the table to try to shake off the thought. He’d never really noticed that warmth before, and it would be all over if he started now.

“How about y’all come to my place? My mom’d be happy to have y’both, I bet.”

“I’d feel bad imposing on her,” Supreme God’s Cleric said. “Say, isn’t there any game we can hunt in the winter?”

“Guess you could go after a wild boar or a deer. If they gotcha with their tusks or horns, it’d be over just like that, but that’s how it goes, I guess.”

“You sound awfully cavalier about it. Hmm…it’s possible we could do a troll hunt.”

“Are you kidding? It’d probably wind up eatin’ us!” Over Club Fighter’s head, the two girls were busy exchanging some very dangerous suggestions. He remembered a hunter in his own village who’d died after getting stabbed in the thigh by a boar. And he’d heard about villages attacked by trolls—those terrible, pure-white monsters.

A troll hunt. Trolls belonged in tunnels. Not human villages.

Club Fighter, absently seeking an escape from reality, mumbled to himself, “I’d sure like to take it nice and easy for a good five years or so…”

“Five years? You haven’t even been adventuring that long!” Supreme God’s Cleric retorted.

It was an all-around lively conversation.

It wasn’t true, though, that none of these middle-ground adventurers—those who were neither untested amateurs nor experienced veterans—could have anything to do with the contest. At that very moment, at another table besides those of both Heavy Warrior and Club Fighter, a warlock was telling her party in a businesslike manner: “I won’t be able to go on any adventures for a while.”

“Huh?!” demanded their leader, an ax wielder, blindsided by what seemed to be a fait accompli. “Why not?!”

“Well, ’cause I gotta make some goblins,” Warlock replied without missing a beat and without looking up from the spell book in front of her.

It pained her no end. She had no idea how they’d found out what kinds of spells she knew.

It has to be the government’s fault. They’d squawked about secrets and confidentiality and not telling anyone, but then they’d let it slip—this was why she didn’t have any truck with them. She thought they ought to try being the one who had to go around collecting all the ingredients. Yeesh. For goodness’ sake.

Maybe it was the dark elf looks that threw them. They certainly attracted plenty of lecherous old men.

“Huh, you can do that sort of thing?” a clear voice inquired, interrupting Warlock’s vitriolic thoughts about her hometown. She glanced over to see the elf woman—the one with very pale skin who’d recently joined their party—smiling at her. Elves were already so pretty—surely she didn’t need to put on all that makeup.

“I haven’t exactly been going out of my way to collect catalysts,” Warlock replied, annoyed by the smell of powder that wafted from the elf.

“What d’you want with summoning goblins anyway?” another party member, a monk, said.

Warlock could only manage a whisper: “It’s not summoning them; it’s making them. Although I suppose it’s like calling forth a reproduction…”

Why bother explaining the niceties to them? They wouldn’t understand. Frustrating, then, how they kept demanding her to do exactly that. Magic was magic. Strange things happened. That was all the explanation they were going to get. Bunch of rationalists.

“Anyway, I don’t know,” Warlock continued brusquely. “I assume they’re enemies for the contest, most likely. It’ll sap a bit of my vitality, but it’ll make us some money.”

Making some money: That was what really mattered.

“Fair enough. I like money. These elves, they treat it like it’s no more special than a rock; I just don’t understand it.”

The elf woman pursed her lips and pouted that some people had no interest in anything but mithril. Warlock gave the elf a good glare. Was she even planning on hiding that powdery stench?

“Fine, whatever—point is, you won’t be able to go on any adventures, is that right?” their leader asked. And why didn’t he notice it? Warlock sighed deeply.

Somewhere in this world there were elves who flagellated their own backs morning and evening in the name of prayer to a god of pain. The Four-Cornered World was a big place, and the ambit of the gods was large. But still—didn’t that seem a bit much?

“Now, now, you’re the only one I’ve told about that.”

Warlock was determined to ignore the giggle and the breath that tickled her ear; they were too annoying to do otherwise. None of the party members had ever previously paid attention to the fact that on their adventures, Warlock was the odd woman out in their group; but ever since this elf woman had arrived, they’d found themselves divided into two genders. She was certainly grateful for that at times—but it also came with its annoyances. The elf was the first scout they’d had, though, ever since that rhea of theirs vanished somewhere. Compared with the prospect of being caught in a deadly trap, Warlock was willing to let the elf do her thing. Maybe Warlock should even make the first move to ensure the elf didn’t decide to leave the party? That would be a headache all its own, though…

“So in short, our spell caster will be behind the scenes on this occasion, yes?” said the monk, a man who’d never had to worry about money in his life, as he nodded to himself. “Then is this not, in effect, a summons from the gods for us to make money behind the scenes as we have the opportunity?”

“Yes!”

“That’s it!”

“Right…” Warlock was not pleased. She saw what this meant. She would have to be the one to introduce the party to the Guild and beg them to give her group some work. She would have to act her rank, like the kind of adventurer a Guild employee would want to deal with. All dressed up and polite.

The idea was enough to make her head spin, but she knew it would be pointless to object. Once her group got an idea into their collective head, they wouldn’t be dissuaded—and it was true that they didn’t have any money.

Warlock looked back down at her spell book, but she was acutely aware of the others watching her silently. So they thought this was settled? Yeah… It was probably settled.

Oh, for… I just… Arrgh!

§

“Bah, fine!” an adventurer shouted, shoving back her chair and heading for the reception desk. Priestess watched her from where she sat in the waiting area.

Actually, it wasn’t quite accurate to say either that she sat or that she watched. She was continually standing up anxiously, pacing around, then sitting back down before repeating it all again. And she wasn’t specifically looking at anything so much as simply allowing light and sound to reach her eyes and ears—she probably didn’t even really hear the conversations.

She had bigger things on her mind.

“Urgh… Urgh… Urrrrghhh…” She seated her slim behind on the chair once more, restlessly, and fiddled with her golden hair. She’d been like this all morning—she wished she’d spent a little longer checking herself in the water’s reflection. “I wonder if I look okay…”

“Oh, you’re fine. You don’t have to worry quite so much.” Inspector, the sigil of the Supreme God hanging around her neck, smiled gamely and answered the question for the umpteenth time. She may have served a different god, but she was just like Priestess in that she was working hard to move forward—she was just a little farther down the path. She wanted to see all these boys and girls work hard and grow strong. However, it was her policy not to particularly encourage or chastise anyone. If they asked for help, she would help them, but anything more struck her as meddling.

Anyway, when a person was entering on the middle ranks, it was high time she should be used to this sort of situation.

“The Temple of the Earth Mother in the capital asked for you personally. I get why you’d be nervous.”

“Of course…”

Still, Inspector thought (as if it had nothing to do with her), it was a bit much to thrust on her so suddenly. Word of their little event had somehow reached the capital, which had indicated that they would be sending an observer and that the person was to be shown suitable hospitality. And to show that hospitality, they’d picked this girl, as readily as if she’d had an arrow pointing over her head.

Inspector was used to these big-name visitors; receiving them was all in a day’s work for her. In fact, she sort of liked it—it got her out of doing paperwork for the duration—but maybe adventurers didn’t feel the same way. Between this and the talk of the dungeon exploration contest recently, Priestess must have been at risk of buckling under the pressure.

“You should be thrilled. This means they know your name all the way in the capital.”

“Yeah, that’s, uh, great… You don’t think it’s really Goblin Slayer that they recognize?”

It was less humility than simple fact to say that Priestess herself wasn’t all that important. Anyway, it was pretty typical for the warrior to be the most prominent member of a party, followed by the wizard, then the priest, and lastly the scout. Notwithstanding the good dark elf ranger of legend—or striders, who were basically as celebrated as warriors… Or a priest of great eminence whose name was known far and wide from the frontier to the capital.

“You adventured in the capital once, right?”

“Yes…”

“Well, maybe that’s when they found out about you,” Inspector said. In her view, though, it didn’t really matter what the reason was. They’d asked for Priestess, which meant her reputation wasn’t a bad one. Having one’s name widely known was the ultimate boon for an adventurer.

“The Trade God tells us: Seize every opportunity and don’t let go. Now an opportunity’s fallen into your lap—you’d sure better take it.”

The next quest, the next job, the next adventure. Fighting and growing. Then pressing even farther ahead. Inspector clenched her fist for emphasis, but her lecture seemed a bit lost on Priestess.

“Are you embarrassed that you’re famous?” she asked.

“Not really. It’s more like…I’m not sure I can live up to their expectations yet.” Priestess looked deeply uneasy, but then an awkward smile worked its way onto her face. “I’m trying my best to tell people I can do it when I know I can.”

“That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it?” Self-confidence was so important. You couldn’t get by on humility alone. On the other hand, it wouldn’t do to become a preening diva, either; there was always a bigger fish. And when you didn’t know about someone’s circumstances, then arguing about whether their achievements were down to luck or ability was, well…

“People will say what they want. All you can do is work hard to help things turn out well.”

“…It’s tough, isn’t it?” Priestess glanced in the direction of Heavy Warrior—no, Female Knight. Or was she looking at someone who wasn’t there? Was she looking for Witch, perhaps, or even Goblin Slayer? “All the accomplished adventurers look so amazing to me. I can’t help wondering if I could ever catch up with them.”

“You’ve got it backward. They’ve all learned to look amazing.” Inspector cackled. “It’s just for show!”

As a Guild employee, she knew the stories behind the legends. How the renowned knight errant had nearly died on their very first adventure, how the bold cleric’s sword had been melted, leaving her in tears. Her famous one-hit kill hadn’t actually killed in one hit, leaving the party’s scout to finish off the monster.

“Everyone’s the same deep down inside. All of them.”

Inspector realized this might have been the first time she’d had a conversation like this with Priestess. She’d talked to Priestess’s friends—Guild Girl, Padfoot Waitress, High Elf Archer, the girl from the farm—but one-on-one like this… Maybe it was simply another roll of the gods’ dice.

In the Four-Cornered World, the dice could change people’s wills and fates. Just like they might direct meetings and partings. That being the case, she wanted to do her best to build good relationships…

“Oh!” Inspector’s thoughts were interrupted when Priestess looked up.

The bell over the door of the Adventurers Guild jingled, and two people came in. One was a nun, her healthy brown skin visible under her habit; she was laughing jovially and waving.

“Hullo there! Sorry for the wait. It’s been so long since I’ve been to town—can’t blame me for getting distracted!”

The woman’s voice was as bright as the sun; Priestess smiled and got to her feet. “Oh, not at all…! Thank you for coming out today. Wait—you’re the one they picked for a guide?”

“Mm-hmm. I’ve been itching to get out of there anyway. So boring. It was the perfect chance.” And she had seized it, just like Inspector had been talking about. Priestess giggled.

Inspector, appraising the women’s relationship as she observed the exchange, constrained herself to a polite bow. It would have been uncouth to break into their conversation, and the nun likewise only nodded.

“I’ve got to say I was surprised, though,” she said. “The world seems so big—until it seems so small!” She played with a stray black curl. (Wasn’t her wimple supposed to hold all her hair?)

“I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean,” Priestess replied, inclining her head.

“No worries, then,” the nun said with a grin. “Anyway, guess I’d better start by introducing our esteemed visitor. Please welcome our friend from the temple in the capital…”

Priestess took a sharp breath and blinked. Inspector likewise exclaimed, “Hoh!”

“Hello! I’m here!”

The girl who peeked out from behind the nun was quite lovely—and the spitting image of Priestess.

§

“Er, uh, yes, y-you’re here… Why are you h—?”

“Shh! Shh! Shhh!”

Before she could get the words out, Priestess found the girl practically jumping on her, pressing a finger to her lips. Feeling the softness of that body, seeing her own face so close to hers, Priestess immediately felt her cheeks flush.

“L-listen, I didn’t run away this time, and I’m not here just to have fun. I swear…!”

Priestess nodded emphatically at the girl’s—the king’s younger sister’s—declaration. It seemed like the only response that would get the other girl away from her—and allow her to breathe again.

“Er, uh…sorry. I mean… I apologize.” The girl backed away, and Priestess let out a relieved breath.

“B-but how did you get here? Did they really agree to it?”

“Well, it’s Temple business. I’m here as a priestess sent from the Temple of the Earth Mother.” The king’s younger sister coughed importantly and puffed out her ample chest, then gave a brief click of her tongue. “Although, ahem, it’s a secret from His Maj—I mean, from my brother that I’m here!”

“Ah.”

Well…

It would be hasty to take this for mere self-indulgence or a lack of remorse. Launching headlong into a situation without thinking about it and taking action only after thorough consideration of the circumstances were perhaps more alike than they seemed. A smile came to Priestess’s face to see this girl, who had been through such an awful experience, bounce back so quickly. She had to admit she felt some sympathy for the young lion who ran the country, but this was a good thing; she was sure of it.

“Huh, so you two know each other?” Sister Grape said, smiling as she watched the girls giggle together. Maybe, for her, this really was just about staving off the boredom. Or maybe she was happy for this friend whom she regarded like a sister. More likely still, it was both at once that made her squint with happiness and say: “You really do look like sisters, standing side by side.”

“You think so?” Priestess asked.

“I sure don’t.” The king’s younger sister thought they were different in quite a number of ways. She and Priestess looked at each other quizzically.

Then again, it wasn’t unpleasant to be told they resembled each other.

Inspector interrupted the chatter with a delicate cough. “So, uh…”

Ah yes. Priestess quickly straightened up and faced the king’s younger sister properly. “So you’ve come from the Temple of the Earth Mother in the capital to observe our activities here—is that correct?”

“Er, yes. That’s right.” The girl nodded, then added, “Umm,” trying to decide how to explain. She nodded again. “There was that thing with spring being late, right? And after that, the trouble over the consecrated wine.”

Ah… Those adventures felt so long ago to Priestess, but they evoked a rush of nostalgia as well. Now that she thought about it, the year seemed to have passed in a hurry, but she’d done a great many things. She’d taken on the battle on the snowy mountain, taken much initiative in the events surrounding the wine, and then they’d all headed to the country in the east.

“And then there was the necromancer’s army recently.”

“Oh, yeah, that. I think the hero eventually took them down.”

The events of which the king’s younger sister and Inspector spoke were of utmost importance to the nation—and Priestess had been involved with them, however tangentially. That kind of makes me feel like I’ve actually become a pretty serious adventurer…

Heh, sure. She felt a touch of confidence well up within her. Although she reminded herself she mustn’t become conceited. Priestess puffed out her chest just a little—Sister Grape noticed and shook her head. “Better be careful,” the nun cautioned.

“We were worried that something else might happen over the winter—and that’s why I’m here!” said the king’s younger sister before admitting shyly that she wouldn’t necessarily be able to do anything about it simply by being present and observing.

That’s true enough, Priestess thought. A single priest alone was unlikely to sway matters. But it felt very different from having no one come at all.

And for the one who showed up to be this girl, of all people. She spoke only in her capacity as a priestess, yet she was, in the end, the first princess—the younger sister of the ruling monarch. There could have been no better way for the authorities to make it clear that they weren’t taking this situation lightly. Namely, the situation on the western frontier—Priestess saw she would need to rise to the occasion, herself.

“Um, all right, then. Shall I show you around?” she suggested hesitantly.

“Good idea!” the king’s younger sister chirped. “There are so many things I want to see. So, uh, you’re doing a dungeon exploration contest in some old ruins, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. The specifics are in this report.” Inspector politely handed the princess the sheaf of parchment she’d been holding. “Might it not be best to study the details with your own eyes?”

“Yeah, good idea. You definitely have to see these things for yourself.” The girl hugged the papers to her chest, sounding like she sincerely believed what she was saying. It was so easy to make baseless pronouncements when you didn’t know what you were talking about—and to go charging in because you didn’t know what you were dealing with. She’d learned well the lesson that seeing and studying something for oneself made all the difference in the world.

“All right, I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t get back. It looks like you ladies can handle things.” Sister Grape, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, was suddenly waving good-bye.

True enough. Inspector nodded as well. The girls seemed to be good friends—this was going to be fine. “Very well,” she said, “perhaps you could show us to the…” She thought for a moment, trying to pick the right word, then decided that anything was fine so long as it got the point across. “…the venue?”

“Yes, of course,” Priestess said with a smile and a nod. “Just follow me!”

§

It’s downright cruel…

That’s what Guild Girl was thinking as she hefted the metal head covering and tied the strap under her chin. The ancient ruins were illuminated only by the orange flicker of a small flame. The stone walls and pillars were decorated with bizarre patterns and carvings or, in some places, scenes that appeared to illustrate stories. Their significance had been long lost to time; no living human knew what they meant. In the dancing shadows cast by the light, they almost seemed alive.

I’ve heard such things actually exist in the underground cities built by the dwarves. Supposedly, images of miners and smiths “worked” in the carvings, while engravings above gates bowed to visitors. She herself had never been to the famous dwarven cities, though; she only knew by hearsay. Although she had once been to an elvish city with him and his friends…

“Humans have what’s called a dominant eye. Left or right: Inevitably, one of them is stronger than the other,” Goblin Slayer explained, completely ignoring the fact that he was interrupting Guild Girl’s thoughts. He was practically crawling on the ground, making chalk marks in various places. Guidelines for where to position the goblins in the dungeon.

He had a lantern in one hand—most unusual for him—and was watching his surroundings vigilantly as he made these preparations.

Guild Girl trotted after him, trying to take care not to stumble or fall.

“For most people, it is the right hand and eye that are dominant. In other words, it’s harder to fight a foe to the left.”

“Th-that makes sense…I think?” The entire subject seemed rather brutal to her.

Obviously, that was nothing new, and this was, after all, part of her job. And goblins, goblins, goblins, goblins, goblins was how it went every time with him.

B-besides, I don’t usually get to spend so much time talking with him, so this has its upsides…! The thought dispelled her flash of disgust. “It’s true. I know most adventurers… They seem to wield their weapons in their right hands.”

“Which is also where most magicians hold their staves, and it’s the hand with which they aim at their targets. It’s difficult to cast spells with the left hand.” Some people did carry a shield on the left, so it wasn’t completely useless. With this final comment, Goblin Slayer stood up, seemingly having finished making his marks. “Some people use the left-handed search, as well. A scout with a free left hand should be the first to be attacked.”

“Left-handed— Oh!” Guild Girl hopped over some debris, nodding. Seeing that he was kind enough to stop and wait for her made her steps lighter. “You mean finding their way along by keeping their left hand on the wall.” She knew about that.

Games involving mazes were popular among the nobility, even if those mazes weren’t as serious as this one—being not real ruins. Hedges might be grown in a garden, manicured by a gardener, and shaped into a maze to be enjoyed at tea parties. Guild Girl had experienced such things on several occasions back when she was still living with her family.

“But I thought that didn’t work if the exit happened to be along a different wall…”

“True, the method fails if there is a cloister or the like. But I don’t believe our participants will be experienced enough to realize that.”

In other words, they would simply put their hands on the wall and trust that they’d eventually reach the center of the maze. That would make them easy to draw in, he observed. “Perhaps we could put the trip for some trap along the left wall. Even a shield might trip it.”

“…I believe I said to take it easy on them.”

“I believe I am.” Goblin Slayer nodded at her. “First, we wear them down with traps. When they’re tired enough that they’re no longer keeping close watch, we draw them toward the center of the maze and launch the attack.”

This wasn’t the first time he had mentioned this plan, and Guild Girl marveled at his capacity for tormenting adventurers. Then again, adventures could indeed be torturous. They didn’t always follow a simple script: fun, easy, guaranteed wins, plenty of loot. Unexpected things happened, difficulties arose, and sometimes after all the struggle, the rewards were minimal. It wasn’t even uncommon for adventurers to risk life and limb in their endeavors.

Nor were there any promises of success; sometimes you failed. Sometimes you failed even if you didn’t do anything wrong. Say, for example, you discovered the entrance to a cave and carelessly exclaimed “Yahoo!” only to be killed in the resulting landslide. It might sound comical, but it was no joke. It had actually happened—it was just a particularly striking case of something perfectly common. Guild employees heard their fill of such stories…

But it’s precisely because there is fun and fulfillment that adventurers keep on doing what they do, Guild Girl thought.

“There are also no promises that one will constantly be able to get back to town or take breaks whenever they need to,” said Goblin Slayer.

She let her thoughts drift as she followed his armored form. Was this how he had learned about adventuring? She was sure that if she asked, he’d respond that he’d been taught goblin hunting. A predictable answer—but such a sad one. He was perhaps the only person who felt that all he knew was goblins.

“Goblin Slayer…”

“Hrm?”

“Is this how you were taught?”

In the end, her question was as quiet as an exhale, fading into the dark.

It was a moment before he answered. He wasn’t ignoring her—just thinking. Guild Girl knew him well enough to understand that much.

“…How did my sister teach me to hunt?” he said at length. “That was one of the questions my teacher asked me in the cave.” Slowly but surely, he continued: “If I didn’t respond fast enough, he’d send a snowball flying at me.”

“Wow… So I guess he wouldn’t have been happy with that pause just now.” Guild Girl giggled at her own naughtiness.

“Hrm,” Goblin Slayer grunted, then said, “Perhaps not.” Guild Girl found that funny somehow, her laughter ringing out like a bell. In her mind’s eye, the young version of him was still wearing armor and a helmet for some reason, and the thought of him engaged in a snowball fight was simply too cute.

“Sounds like your master could be harsh.”

“Yes. He was a harsh person.”

The immediacy of the answer made Guild Girl laugh again. He, though, didn’t seem to pay it much mind.

“But he taught me many things. How to swim, for example… Truly, a great deal.” There was a brief whisper: “Even though he had no obligation to do so.”

“I see,” Guild Girl replied gently. She could surmise what his background had been. She wouldn’t say she knew; she’d never asked him directly about it. You didn’t have to know everything about a person to have feelings for them. It was precisely his willingness to talk to her like this that made her so happy.

“Did he teach you how to fight?”

In the old stories, the heroes were always taught all kinds of powerful techniques at a young age by some legendary master. Secret sword techniques, killing strokes, powerful blocks, moves that weren’t to be shared with anyone for any reason—there was a wide variety. Some of the stories were patently ridiculous: the ability to jump over sword strokes or cause someone to explode just by touching them, for example.

Then again, I hear the elvish heroes really were capable of jumping over swords. So maybe it was possible to kill an opponent with one finger, too.

“Not to speak of,” Goblin Slayer replied, laconic as usual. He had crouched down again and was making more chalk marks. This time on the right.

Maybe because otherwise they’d come to anticipate attacks from the left, Guild Girl thought. She was pretty confident in this guess, so she decided not to ask him about it. Other things were more important.

“Someone else taught me where a goblin’s vital points were.” He didn’t stop working even as he talked.

Guild Girl walked up beside Goblin Slayer, who was still squatting on the ground, and held the lantern up for him. The helmet moved ever so slightly; she could tell that it was nodding up and down. Even that slight gesture of thanks—barely enough to count as appreciation—warmed her heart.

“You knew her, I believe.”

“Oh, her.” Yes, Guild Girl knew her. An eccentric wizard who’d lived on the edge of town. They hadn’t talked often, but the woman had left a deep impression on her. She’d disappeared at some point, though. “I heard in passing that she left on some sort of journey.”

“I doubt she’ll come back.”

“Doesn’t that make you feel…sad or anything?”

“I’m not sure.” Goblin Slayer’s work, of course, still didn’t stop. As soon as he’d finished with the chalk, he stood up. “I don’t think we were close enough for that.”

“…I feel the same way.”

Something small—barely enough. It was how she, too, felt about the image of that wizard. How many people had known her and how many remembered her were trivial questions. What mattered was that he and she shared this memory; they had it in common. Perhaps he had many more such points of commonality with the girl on the farm, but for Guild Girl, this was a precious treasure.

The farm girl probably remembers that woman, too. Guild Girl was all too aware that she wasn’t unique in this regard. He, after all, was Goblin Slayer. When he wasn’t off hunting goblins, he went home to that farm. He visited the Adventurers Guild only in the moments in between the farm and the hunt.

In other words, this very moment is special. The thought made her glad that this was her job, even as it left her feeling slightly embarrassed. Bad girl—I have to focus on my work. It hadn’t been anything inappropriate. No abuse of power. So it was fine. She was fairly sure.

Preoccupied with remonstrating with herself, she was caught unawares by his next word:

“However…”

Nonetheless, she was able to respond smoothly and fluently. “Yes, what is it?”

“Are you sure I’m enough?”

“More than sure.” Guild Girl smiled. It was a little late for him to be worrying about that. If the student lacks confidence, maybe they’re only imitating their teacher… Ha. Amusingly, their weaknesses were as similar as their strengths. Still, though… I guess this must all be new to him—everything that doesn’t have to do with goblin hunting. She placed a finger to her lips thoughtfully: So in that respect, he was a novice himself.

Then, too, it wasn’t as if she had any special expertise hosting an event like this. Guild Girl, spotting an appropriately shaped bit of rubble, sat down by his feet. She hoped the flickering lantern light might make her a little bit more attractive. “You’ve certainly shown yourself capable of looking after and helping out newcomers, haven’t you?”

“Hrm.” From the helmet looming in the darkness, there was only a grunt. “If that’s your criterion…,” he began, “…then perhaps that heavy warrior’s party would be better.”

Guild Girl nodded; they were a possibility. She saw where he was coming from. But… “They’re maybe just a bit overprotective,” she said, holding up a finger and waving it pointedly, though careful not to sound like she was tearing them down. Notwithstanding that the kids had lied about their ages, Heavy Warrior’s party members were very successfully bringing up two young adventurers. The two kids in question (the rhea druid was actually the older of the pair, but rheas always looked a bit like children) would certainly become good adventurers.

That wasn’t the real point, though.

“They might be good, but adventures aren’t always full of nice things.”

“I see.”

“Er, not to make it sound like we’re out to traumatize our participants!” Guild Girl was quick to add, trying to make herself look authoritative. She shouldn’t mix personal and professional matters. She kept telling herself that, trying to adopt a suitably businesslike demeanor. This was a special moment for her, true—but she was also on the job. “We can’t be doing that. We absolutely can’t!”

“Is that so?”

“It certainly is.”

“This is difficult,” he murmured, and even his body language was like that of a child given a hard problem to solve by their teacher. He crossed his arms, grunted, and then fell into a sullen silence. Such body language might also have appeared to forestall any further conversation, but Guild Girl knew that he was simply thinking. She was sure that farm girl would have understood, too. As well as the people he adventured with.

And there’s where I’m not so unique…

The thought made her both happy and sad at once. He must lapse into thoughts like this sometimes down in a dungeon or in a cave. Guild Girl, though, never had the opportunity to see him standing like this in the lantern light. Hence, she placed her elbows on her knees, a smile coming over her face. “So adventures aren’t fun, then?”

“I can see that.”

“…I thought so.”

After all, he had been on so many of them by now. He’d slain that ogre in the old ruins, fought the nameless monster in the sewers, and even tried himself against the infamous Dungeon of the Dead. It was only difficult to get the details from him because he couldn’t or wouldn’t explain clearly about anything except goblins. But recently he’d been on a quest that needed no elaborate explication. Because he said he’d—

“When you beat that dragon, how did it feel?” Guild Girl rested her chin on her knees, her question teasing. That’s right: a dragon. A red dragon. A creature every aspiring adventurer dreamed of at least once in their lives. Even the man they called Goblin Slayer must have known about dragons.

“We didn’t ‘beat’ it,” he said brusquely, a response that both annoyed her and yet brought a smile to her face. “We simply put it to sleep and escaped.”

“I know, I know. You just put it to sleep. And?”

“I believe I made a full report.”

“Oh, come on,” Guild Girl said, pouting. “We’re on a little break, here.”

“Hmm…” He sat down where he was, though Guild Girl doubted it was because she had told him to. The fact that he still never let his hands stray too far from his weapons and shield—was that the way adventurers worked or simply the way he worked?

It must have been a common sight on adventures, him like this—even sitting down. Guild Girl considered the chance to see him this way to be a perk of this assignment.

“So?” she said with a giggle. She thought she might be able to bring the two conversations together. “What were the hunting methods your older sister taught you?”

“To be precise, they came from our father,” he said. “How to throw a spear, for instance. There’s a trick involving a string that’s surprisingly—”

It was a small conversation. An unimportant exchange. But that was what made her happiest of all.

Now, she thought, the next question is…

…how to find an excuse to bring out the packed lunches in her bag.

§

“…And that’s pretty much the gist of what they’re saying.”

“Gods, you and those ears are dangerous.”

“Nothing I can do about it. Not my fault elves have long ears!”

“Yeah, sure…”

Several areas away, Dwarf Shaman was pulling up paving stones and frowning. He wanted to tease the archer about whether she wasn’t too old to be making excuses like that, but unfortunately for him, the high elves considered two thousand years to be still rather young.

“So what kind of trap are you setting?” High Elf Archer asked.

“Oh, just a simple device.” On the underside of the stone, he’d wedged a classic dwarven trap: a small bit of wood wound with string. When he turned the stone right side up again, it sat almost flush with the wall, where there were two holes at the perfect height.

“Say, Scaly. How’s it going on your side?”

“I have the string quite taut!”

Only when the voice came from beyond the wall did High Elf Archer realize Lizard Priest had worked his way around to the other side. It was such fun exploring these ruins—and not just these ones. She would never say so aloud (the dwarf would never let her hear the end of it), but elves didn’t know much about architecture.

So that’s why dwarves try to shave down stones and stand atop them, she thought. Even if, she recalled, her elders in the forest had told her there was no point to it.

Truth be told, though, even she thought the ability to create a brand-new device like this on short order was genuinely impressive. “What exactly does it do?” she asked.

“Stand here and look in the hole,” Dwarf Shaman instructed, moving over for her. “But not too close.”

“What, here? Wonder if there’s some treasure in it…”

It really looked like there might be something on the other side of the wall—but, well…

High Elf Archer hopped onto the paving stone and crouched down so she was about human height.

…?

She blinked her pretty eyes. All she could see on the other side was the same rotten dungeon, nothing very treasure-y at all. “I don’t see anything.”

“Bah…,” Dwarf Shaman said, annoyed. He let out a sigh. “You’ve gotta step on the floor. Step on it.”

With a flick of her ears and a little shout, High Elf Archer gave the floor a good kick. There was a clattering sound, and a wooden stick popped out of the hole. The archer jumped backward out of the way with a grace only a high elf could muster, then frowned. “Geez, that’s underhanded. This is why no one likes dwarves…”

“Get distracted by the chance of treasure and you’re taking a risk.” Dwarf Shaman grinned nastily and stroked his beard as High Elf Archer tapped on the wooden pole. It was blunt and moved slowly enough that it wasn’t too dangerous, but if it were a spike or a sword, it could be a real threat.

“Think we need it to be a mite more responsive,” Dwarf Shaman went on. “Too gentle and they won’t learn their lesson.”

“Yeah, too gentle for a dwarf!”

“And it’s that all-mist diet that makes you such an anvil.”

How rude! The elf put her ears back and offered a few choice (but still remarkably elegant) words. Indeed, to those untutored in the elvish language, it might have sounded like a song, but her sister or brother-in-law would have blushed to hear her.

Dwarf Shaman, though, shrugged off this stream of un-elvish-princess-like language. He replied with a short burst of dwarvish, figuring she wouldn’t understand, but he was rewarded with a howl from the archer.

“It seems it’s working quite well,” Lizard Priest offered, breaking into the characteristic quarrel. He came back from the area on the other side of the wall, where his thick fingers and claws had been helping to set the trap. High Elf Archer was frankly impressed that he’d managed such fine motions with those hands. “Well,” he said, “I’m not so very good at it.” He must have noticed her looking at him. He rolled his eyes and bared his fangs in a smile. “War games in my jungle always involve a simple trap or two. This idea, as well, came from Milord Goblin Slayer?”

“Nah. The man’s only interested in traps like goblins might set.” Dwarf Shaman then proclaimed, “This one was mine,” gently tapping his belly. “Goblins or no goblins, I admit this feels like the sorta thing a troll in a tunnel might come up with, though.”

High Elf Archer giggled. Just when he thought she was going to make another crack about the underhandedness of it, she said earnestly, “That’s true. It’s more fun leaving tricks all around the dungeon anyway.” She lamented that Orcbolg paid no mind to such things. It was hard to blame him; goblins could use simple traps if they were taught, but otherwise they wouldn’t. That eccentric adventurer had a good deal of knowledge; he just used it in strange ways. Thankfully, he seemed to realize it…

Or does that make it worse?

Any man who relied on that knowledge to insist he was right about everything would have been chased out of his party long ago.

The two men present at the moment watched the giggling elf doubtfully, but she fluttered a hand at them. “It’s nothing. So, uh, is that it?”

“Hardly. There’s some visitor coming from the capital to inspect our work,” Dwarf Shaman said, remembering what Priestess had told him that morning. To an elf, it must have been hardly an eyeblink ago.

No… Come to think of it, she was asleep then, wasn’t she? He glared at her from under his bushy eyebrows. “…So behave yerself.”

“Look who’s talking. It won’t be a problem for me; I’m not a dwarf.”

“You elves were the ones who threw our royal family in prison!”

“Yeah, for being rude dwarves.” High Elf Archer ignored an angry retort from Dwarf Shaman, instead sniffing the air like a cat. “Anyway, I wonder what kind of ruins these are,” she added.

“I must say, I can’t imagine,” Lizard Priest said, brushing the wall gently with his scaled hand. A bit of the stone came away, weakened by sheer age. Perhaps something had been painted on the wall once, but whatever it had been was no longer discernible. “I don’t believe this was any kind of fortress…”

“You want my opinion—it wasn’t a temple, neither.” Dwarf Shaman took a swig of wine, then picked up a pinch of the debris from the wall and studied it. Even in the hands of a dwarf, accustomed to handling stone, the debris scattered into dust at his touch. “Looks like it was constructed in a hurry—but, well, old battlefields are rife around these parts.”

“That just means we don’t know anything about it!”

“I think we know it doesn’t date from the Age of the Gods.” Dwarf Shaman’s tone remained serious despite High Elf Archer’s interjection. He hated to say anything untrue in his professional capacity.

“Huh… From the Age of Magic, then?”

“Maybe.”

After the battles of the gods and before the days of the adventurers was an era known as the Age of Magic. It referred to a time when the gods, seeing the pleasure of adventuring, withdrew from the Four-Cornered World and set themselves up at the table of the stars. Terrible spells flew every which way, magic overwrote all worldly logic, and the entire board was thrown asunder.

The land was exhausted with the battles of great wizards who wielded even greater spells. Even the gods themselves couldn’t stop their games of cards. After all, once they had determined to respect people’s free will, they could no longer control that which was done freely.

The Age of Magic came to an end when the wizards eventually left—became planeswalkers and departed the Four-Cornered World one by one. It was the long—yet short—twilight before adventuring began. A winter age when all those who were not wizards struggled to survive.

Perhaps the oldest dragons and the elves who had endured the Age of the Gods remembered…

“But it was way, way before I was born. It’s a mystery… A real enigma.”

“I’ll bet you can remember the day you were born.”

“Oh, hardly.” Hmph, High Elf Archer sniffed.

The sound amused Lizard Priest, who bared his fangs. “If I myself had been alive at the time, perhaps I would have been one of those great wizards.”

“Then you would have been trying to leave the board instead of becoming a naga.”

“Oh, by no means. That is merely one more step on the path to becoming a great naga.” To become a planeswalker was, after all, to effectively have an eternity until one’s life wasted away. “And even as a great wizard, I think I would eventually have encountered you, Milady Ranger.”

“A great wizard who loves cheese, right?” High Elf Archer smirked, imagining a wizard playing his cards to produce cheese. Then, however, her long ears twitched.

“S-sorry…!” There came a tapping: footsteps and hard breathing. Two of each.

“You’re finally here,” High Elf Archer said.

“Nice,” Dwarf Shaman said, scowling at her. “Already made your first rude comment.”

“Nothing rude about that.”

When the figures coming from the distant entrance became clear, High Elf Archer blinked. For she saw an outfit she recognized and a face she recognized—but she saw two of each.

Hmm… But maybe one of them walks a little heavier than the other?

Ah, no. That was it: When she remembered, her lips curved up soundlessly, and her cheeks softened into a smile. The girl they’d rescued from the Dungeon of the Dead had become a fine priestess and was here on her own two feet.

“I owe you so much for that!” were the first words out of the girl’s mouth as she bowed to them, smiling brightly. “Please allow me to, ahem, observe, uh, everything on this occasion!”

“I think we’re just setting up traps… Uh, right?” Priestess asked, clearly wanting to make sure she had all her ducks in a row.

High Elf Archer’s ears stood up. “That’s right. Maybe our guest could start by inspecting that hole over there.”

“This one here?”

Before Dwarf Shaman could call out, the new girl—the king’s younger sister—had trotted over like a tiny bird. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she peered into the gap…

“Eeek!” she cried and fell on her behind to cackling laughter from the elf. Dwarf Shaman scowled again and tried to jab her in the side, but she dodged him artfully—and triumphantly.

No, no, this didn’t even count as being rude.

§

As the festival drew closer, the town’s nights grew busier. It might not be as impressive as the water town, but as far as the western frontier went, this town was the place to be. The crowds, which had thinned out as winter approached, began to swell again, helping the streets feel warm figuratively if not literally.

Heavy Warrior’s hulking form could be seen among the crowd, albeit without his broadsword or armor. He walked carefully, so as not to run into anyone. That would be downright uncouth. Neither, though, did he walk as if he were in a dungeon looking for traps. Today was a day off. In other words, he was enjoying the anticipation of the festival just like anyone else.

There was still a while to go, of course. There were no shops set up and all too few decorations. Still, these moments as anticipation built in the air had a pleasure all their own.

Heavy Warrior worked his way through the easygoing bustle until he found the bar he was looking for. He hadn’t been to the Dear Friend’s Ax that many times, but it was where he went at moments like this. He pushed open the door, soft orange light filling his vision, the burble and hum of the place greeting his ears. The bar was doing brisk business, and setting foot inside was like stepping into another world.

“My friends should already be here,” Heavy Warrior said to the harefolk waitress who came to greet him. He hardly even had to search for them: They, like he, always stood out.

There, over at the round table.

“Hey. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“All good.”

“It’s not a problem.”

Spearman waved at him. He looked handsome as usual but didn’t have his enchanted spear with him; instead, he carried only a sword at his hip.

Guess it’d be a little funny to be here in full gear…

Unless, of course, you were tonight’s host, Heavy Warrior’s eccentric friend in the grimy leather armor and metal helmet.

Heavy Warrior sat down, the chair creaking under him; the table was already laden with food and drink. They’d started without him. Heavy Warrior, though, saw no reason to complain. “Sure you don’t need to head straight back home tonight?”

“Home,” the helmeted man repeated clumsily, then shook his head. “I’ve spoken with them. No problems.”

“Yeah? Fine, then.” Heavy Warrior called over a waitress—this time it was a well-endowed centaur—and asked for wine and meat. How could you have a good conversation without victuals?

As the waitress walked away (clop, clop, clop), Heavy Warrior settled into his chair.

Spearman grinned at him. “Her butt?”

“Jackass.” His friend was a capable warrior, but he had a flippant side as well. Some women liked that and others didn’t, but overall, there were probably more of the former than the latter. It wasn’t an issue of good versus bad; Heavy Warrior just wasn’t cut out to live that way. Sweeping his spear this way and that, a beautiful woman on his arm, and ahead of him some ancient ruins or a legendary monster. The bards’ songs didn’t lie. Surely some became adventurers, inspired by their example.

And…maybe mine, too?

Not to be immodest, but Heavy Warrior had heard the occasional troubadour sing a song about him. Although it had been some nonsense about a cursed warrior in jet-black armor making havoc. Female Knight had made a range of comical faces at that, but he remembered it fondly. Thinking back on it, it had been a powerfully moving experience the first time they’d heard someone sing a song about their own party. Some people might have sneered at the song or walked by without paying it any mind, but so what? Heavy Warrior, he’d had the thought that maybe now his adventures would be told ten or even a hundred years later.

The man sitting in impenetrable silence across from him—probably waiting for Heavy Warrior’s food to arrive—was the same. Goblin Slayer, the brave warrior of the frontier. As his nickname suggested, even in the songs, he hunted goblins. Albeit the lines about him wielding a truesilver sword were pure comedy.

His high elf companion, though—she’d been bragging that they’d run into a red dragon out in the desert. Heavy Warrior had tried to wheedle Goblin Slayer into telling him about his “dragon-slaying” adventure, but all he got out of the guy was that he had not, in fact, slain it.

He’s the most conspicuous of any of us…

Three men, three different ways of life. They each had their own path to walk, but it was undoubtedly Spearman who had made himself the most famous. Years ago, Heavy Warrior might have been jealous of that or felt a rush of competitiveness or hostility at the thought—but not now. He knew now that no matter what other people did, it was up to him to forge his own legend. Even if Spearman were to fall from grace or be completely anonymous, it would have no effect whatsoever on Heavy Warrior’s achievements.

That indeed was one of the great strengths of Goblin Slayer, who just quietly addressed whatever was in front of him, one thing at a time. Call it virtue, if you wanted. But not caring in the slightest about what other people thought—that was what had shaped the man who sat before them now.

“You know, you could at least stand to take your armor off when you’re in town,” Heavy Warrior said.

“No, I could not.” The usual annoyingly brusque answer. An exasperated smile crossed Heavy Warrior’s face, but Spearman frowned.

“Listen, you’re a Silver, too. Get yourself some, y’know, magic items or something!”

“I have several.”

“I mean ones people can see! And they need to be useful. People are watching, you know.”

“I was told something similar before.”

“And you didn’t do anything about it! That means you’re not listening.”

“Hmm…”

Spearman and Goblin Slayer argued back and forth—well, really, only one of them was arguing. Every adventurer had their own way of doing things, so what was it to Spearman?

He just likes to butt in, Heavy Warrior thought. Happily, it was at that moment when a mug and a bubbling dish were set down before him. “…Ooh, food’s here.”

They gave a hearty toast with their mugs, and each took a good gulp of alcohol. When it was chilly outside and warm inside, a nice cold beer was all the more tasty. Then again, alcohol and food were always tasty.

“So what are we here for, Goblin Slayer?” Heavy Warrior asked.

“You’re not gonna ask us to hunt goblins again, are you?” Spearman said with a sniff. “If that’s what you want, I’m too busy.”

“Mm,” Goblin Slayer replied, shaking his helmeted head from side to side. “No, that’s not it.”

“Seriously?” Spearman asked.

“I want you to accompany me in a tabletop game,” the cheaply equipped adventurer said, and then he produced a partitioning screen and a roll of parchment and put them on the table. On the other side of the screen, they could see what appeared to be maps, playing pieces, and dice.

“Huh,” Heavy Warrior said, ignoring the way Spearman shot him a look of wonderment. “Is this about that dungeon exploration contest?”

“That’s right.” The helmet moved again, up and down this time. Goblin Slayer informed them brusquely that this was to be a test. “I’ve arranged the traps and monsters…the goblins…but I want to see if they’ll work while there’s still time to adjust things.”

“Aw, you’ve got our receptionist girl to give you all the feedback you need. Right from her own mouth. Her own sweet, beautiful mouth!” Spearman sounded like he could hardly believe it himself. He was all over Goblin Slayer, his eyes growing a little wild.

“Save the drunken tirades,” Heavy Warrior said.

“I ain’t drunk!” Spearman howled. “I’m mad, dammit!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Is that so?” Heavy Warrior more or less brushed Spearman off, but Goblin Slayer appeared to take him quite seriously. “But ultimately I’m the one who decides what to do. As such, the responsibility falls on me.”

“…Tch!” Spearman rested his elbows rudely on the table and clicked his tongue.

One of Goblin Slayer’s virtues was that he was unwilling to foist responsibility on anyone else, least of all a woman. It might seem condescending to praise him too openly, but needling him about it would only keep them from getting anywhere. Heavy Warrior resolved to remember it as something to tease him about later and took a big gulp of his beer. “Point is, you want to play a game. Fine by me.”

“………Yeah, I got no objection.” Spearman managed to at least nod.

“I see,” Goblin Slayer said, letting out a breath. Apparently even he could get nervous. Heavy Warrior raised one eyebrow ever so slightly and reached over.

“Hand me one of those Adventure Sheets, then. Gotta gin up an adventurer.”

“Right.”

This must have been why he’d chosen a relatively large table. The three adventurers slid their meals aside.

Then there was the bustle. Someone trying to eavesdrop for details of the contest wouldn’t be likely to pick much up over the noise. If they’d set up shop in a corner of the Adventurers Guild to do their test, it would probably have just attracted attention. But this was…

Practically runner-esque. Maybe Goblin Slayer should try an urban adventure every once in a while. Heavy Warrior felt the corners of his mouth lift into a smile. The man would no doubt say he wasn’t cut out for it.

Now, how’s this gonna go? It had been a long time since he’d last played a tabletop game. I’ll have to keep my wits about me.

There were four basic classes: warrior, scout, priest, and wizard, along with a variety of other skills and jobs the world had to offer. You had to think about the overall composition of your party when picking a class. Especially today, when the party was only the two of them. It would depend somewhat on what kind of adventurer his partner came up with, but he suspected a spell user or scout would be necessary…

So maybe a scout—or a priest who’s a disciple of the Trade God. Or no…

Maybe a rogue who could use magic, like the famous Gray Mouser. An excellent example to follow. Trying to dream up a self who wasn’t him was at once agonizing and thrilling. They could be a different race, have different abilities. They could be a different gender or age—but like him, they would still be an adventurer.

In the seat next to his, Spearman seemed to be enjoying himself as well, for he added: “Since we’re doin’ this, maybe I’ll try a dwarf…scout.”

“Hey, now,” Heavy Warrior said with a grin. “Do those really go together?”

There were probably more disadvantages than advantages in a dwarf scout. Dwarves weren’t known for their nimble fingers or for being light on their feet.

Spearman, though, simply replied, “Jerk. Nobody said only the perfect need apply to be adventurers.”

“Sure, fair enough.” Spearman was absolutely right, and Heavy Warrior accepted his remark earnestly. It was true, after all. Advantage and disadvantage, suited and not suited to a particular pursuit—those were based on other people’s standards. Who would let something as trivial as that determine whether or not they could be an adventurer?

“Spell user, scout, front row all filled, fireballs, miracles. A perfect party with all the fixings—and it only exists on paper.”

“You said it.” While Spearman scratched away with his stylus on the parchment sheet, Heavy Warrior lapsed into thought.

So what do I want to be?

It could be anything he wanted. Well, all right then.

He leaned over the table, grabbing a handful of dice, and as he rolled to determine his birth and whatnot, he said, “I’m gonna be an elf fighter. Spinnin’ and shinin’.”

“…That’s what I’m hearing, but it ain’t what I’m seeing.”

“A guy can decide how strong he wants to be, right?”

This time it was Spearman who said, “That’s true,” and nodded.

Heavy Warrior smiled, satisfied, and made some notes with his stylus, then looked at the man on the other side of the partition. “Say, Goblin Slayer. This dungeon isn’t gonna kill us if we don’t have a spell user or a scout, is it?”

“I don’t know.” This was the man who wouldn’t say a word about their stats. It seemed he was speaking the truth: He appeared to be thinking very hard about what might be coming. “That’s why I want us to try it out.”

“All right, works for me.” If he was going to ask sincerely for their help, then they would sincerely help him.

It took almost no time at all for these experienced adventurers to fill out their Adventure Sheets.

“Today is a good day to get wiped clean off the map,” Spearman, the first to finish writing, said with a furrowed brow. “I can guarantee any dungeon of yours is gonna be one brutal affair.”

“Well, try, try again. Maybe he’s been nicer than you’re assuming, and we’ll just waltz right to the end—you never know, right?”

This was a test session, after all. They would need to approach it with a number of different party makeups. But there was one thing above all others they would need to be careful of. Heavy Warrior looked at his completed sheet in satisfaction and jabbed Spearman with his elbow. “Try to act like a novice, eh?”

“I’m not stopping to swing a damn ten-foot pole around every step.” Spearman harrumphed. Then he picked up the dice. “Okay, game on. You ready, Goblin Slayer? No fair making the monsters act, you know, funny.”

“I intend to make them act like goblins.”

“Can’t trust this guy…”

Heavy Warrior laughed out loud at the exchange, then took a swig of beer and a mouthful of boiled potato. “Okay, brothers, let’s do this.”

“We’re different races. We’re cousins at best.”

Cousins they might have been, but they were brothers-in-arms as they prepared to take on the dungeon exploration contest. It was going to be tough, but Heavy Warrior was enjoying himself. This was just the thing before a celebration.