Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 4 - Chapter 1

LEVEL 4: Chapters of the Chosen and Choosers

Chapter 1: The Unbearable Heaviness of Reality

It’s terrible when a person dies.

In the end, Haruhiro had probably never imagined that he would be forced to experience that again.

Of course, he had thought it was a possibility. He had probably thought about it more seriously than any of his comrades, and he had feared it from the bottom of his heart.

But the death, the loss, that Haruhiro had expected wasn’t like the reality.

This was very different from what happened with Manato. That time, it had come without them really understanding what was happening, and by the time they had noticed, all that was left was pain.

They had carried the body back to Alterna, had the body burned at the crematorium, then buried his ashes on the hill where the tower with no entrance stood. Those memories hadn’t blurred in the least, but it all went by strangely quickly. That was probably because Renji and the others had helped them out, so things had moved along without any hitches.

However, from there on, it was terrible.

Haruhiro’s comrade, his friend, was dead. They had burned him, reducing him to ash and bone, and now he rested eternally on that hill where no one would disturb him. Moguzo was lost to Haruhiro and his friends now.

Though Moguzo was gone, there were still traces left behind that showed he had once existed.

His equipment, for instance.

There was his heavily dented plate armor and his crushed helmet, along with The Chopper, that sword they had taken off Death Spots. They couldn’t burn those things with him. Even if they had wanted to, they were made of metal, so it was physically impossible.

Even so, they couldn’t just throw them out, either. But if they were going to keep them, they didn’t have the space.

“...For now, we could put them on deposit... maybe,” Shihoru said.

No one objected to Shihoru’s proposal. However, when they went to the Yorozu Deposit Company, they discovered a serious problem.

“Yes, it is possible for you to deposit items other than money with our company,” said the fourth Yorozu, a young girl wearing a gaudy red and white outfit accented with gold along with a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. She tapped her gold pipe on the counter. “When you deposit money, the deposit fee is 1/100th of the amount deposited. When you deposit an item, it is 1/50th of the appraised value. But even without an appraisal, I can tell you that that helmet and armor are worthless.”

“Huh...? Why?” Haruhiro asked.

“Do you need it explained to you, insolent one?”

Ever since the first day they’d met, Yorozu had kept calling Haruhiro “insolent one.” It was awful.

“That helmet and armor are useless,” she said. “Even if you were to spend the money to repair them, I question whether they could ever be useful again. Anyway, I suggest you go to a blacksmith and have them take that scrap metal off your hands.”

“Hey, you! Watch your tongue...!” Ranta screamed.

Haruhiro did at least hold Ranta back from jumping over the counter, but he felt the same as Ranta did.

Scrap metal! What’re you calling scrap metal? That’s my comrade’s armor, I’ll have you know! It’s a memento. You can’t call it scrap metal. You don’t know a damn thing, so don’t give me that crap!

However, that wasn’t quite true.

Yorozu narrowed her eyes, then shrugged her delicate shoulders. “They are mementos of your comrade, correct? Information of all sorts tends to find its way to the Yorozu, you see. I am aware of your situation, but at this company there are some rules that even the fourth Yorozu cannot bend. No matter what the reason, we cannot give you special treatment. You cannot deposit items that are of no value with our company. Our warehouse space is finite, after all. If those items are so precious that you cannot bear to dispose of them, then you should take care of them yourselves.”

There was nothing Haruhiro could say back to that. If the items were so important to them, they could take care of them themselves. No, not just could—should. Yorozu was absolutely right, and it would have been wrong to fault her for it.

“...Well, how about the sword...?” asked Shihoru.

Yorozu nodded. “That, you can deposit with us, of course. However, it once belonged to the Death Spots, did it not? It will not be cheap.”

When they had one of the specialist clerks appraise it, it actually did come out to an incredible price. It was 25 gold. The deposit fee would be 1/50th of that, so 50 silver. While it wasn’t beyond their means, it was enough to give them pause.

“Yume’s thinkin’ maybe we don’t need to decide right now...” said Yume.

Haruhiro agreed. Practically speaking, putting it off still left them with the problem of what to do with the items. It felt like, in the end, they were going to have no choice but to deposit it anyway. Still, they didn’t need to decide immediately. They could do it tomorrow, the day after, or even later. They had other things that they would need to do.

Yorozu said, “While you’re here, out of concern, let me ask you, what do you wish to do with the deceased’s assets?”

“Assets?” Haruhiro asked.

“The deceased had money on deposit with our company. Only he himself would normally be able to withdraw it, but in the event of death, it is possible for someone else to do so by going through the proper procedures.”

“Huh... Really?” Haruhiro asked.

“Specifically, you would have to go through the Volunteer Soldier Corps office to acquire a death certificate and a certificate granting you power of attorney, both issued by the margrave,” she said. “On confirmation of those documents, our company will return the deceased’s assets to his legal representative.”

“The office... Certificates...”

“For your information, at present, we are unable to disclose any further details regarding the deceased’s assets,” Yorozu informed them.

How much did Moguzo have saved up? Haruhiro wondered. He bought armor whenever he had the money to, and his meals cost a lot, so he can’t have had much in savings. Still, I feel like it’d be sloppy to just leave it. When we lost Manato, we didn’t know left from right, so we couldn’t handle it properly. This time, I want to do things right. I have to.

Was Haruhiro the only one thinking that?

The day after they went to the Yorozu Deposit Company, Haruhiro visited the Volunteer Soldier Corps office on his own. Ranta wouldn’t get out of bed, and Haruhiro couldn’t get a clear response when he tried to call Yume and Shihoru. As for Merry, she wasn’t even in the same building. Haruhiro had had no choice but to come alone.

When he went to talk to Britney, a.k.a. Bri-chan, about the paperwork, Britney called out to him first.

“Oh, it’s you! Fabulous timing. Let’s talk bounty money. Huh, what’s that, you say? You never went to the meeting to decide how it would be divided, you say? I hear that caused some trouble for them. Renji and Kajiko, that is. Well, I’m sure you were too busy worrying about other things to attend. Still, it’s times like that when you need to get in there and stake your claim, otherwise you’ll lose out, you know?”

“...Bounty money,” Haruhiro muttered. “—Wait. Huh...?”

They had already received the payment for the order when they had returned to Alterna after the operation was complete. The rest of the balance they were owed came to 80 silver each, paid in the form of military scrip: thin copper chits issued by the Frontier Army.

“Ah,” Haruhiro realized. “Do you mean for the keeper, Zoran Zesh, and the sorcerer, Abael...?”

“Yes, for them.” Bri-chan licked his black lips and closed one eye.

Oh, please, stop, thought Haruhiro. Don’t screw around with me now.

“Zoran Zesh was 100 gold, Abael was 50. That’s 150 gold total,” Bri-chan said. “The way I heard it, you and your party took out Abael almost entirely on your own.”

“Ah... Well, yeah... I guess. Now that you mention it, maybe we kind of did.”

“That said, in cases like that, things are generally split evenly,” said Bri-chan. “There’d be squabbling otherwise.”

“Well... you could be right about that. I wouldn’t know.”

“What’s the matter with you?” Bri-chan demanded. “You really distinguished yourselves there. Aren’t you happy?”

“Happy...?” Haruhiro almost burst out laughing. Not because he thought it was funny, of course. No, that wasn’t it. How would he put it...

All he could do was laugh? No, that wasn’t it, either. Like, “Don’t you get it? Are you stupid?” Like, “I’m gonna send you flying.”

Haruhiro looked downwards, clenching his hands into fists. “...No, I don’t think I’m happy.”

“I can see that.” Bri-chan sighed.

Haruhiro was still looking down, so he couldn’t see the expression on Bri-chan’s face. He didn’t really want to see it, either.

“Regardless, you have a right to a share of the reward money, and I’m holding onto your share. According to Kajiko, Renji basically steamrolled her, but you get 60 gold.”

“Sixty?!” Haruhiro gasped.

He couldn’t help but be shocked by that number. He felt like he’d suddenly woken up from a dream.

Oh, if only it had all been a nightmare. How glad he would have been.

“Sixty gold—you mean, like, 60 gold coins...?” he stumbled.

“That’s right,” said Bri-chan. “Or, if we convert it to silver coins, 6,000. Divide it by six—no, five—and you each get 12 gold.”

“Twelve...” Haruhiro murmured.

It touched a nerve the way Bri-chan had corrected himself from six to five, but it was such a large amount of money that it still hadn’t sunk in that it was real just yet.

But I’m not happy, Haruhiro thought. Not happy at all.

“...We’ll take what we can get, but...”

“But?” Bri-chan demanded.

“No... We’ll take it. Gratefully. It’s better to have money than not to, after all. Having it’s not going to hurt us. Ah, but before that—”

“A death certificate and power of attorney, right?” asked Bri-chan.

“Yeah.”

“It’ll take a while.”

“It will?” Haruhiro asked.

“It has to go through the bureaucrats, after all. Be prepared for it to take ten days. I’d guess around seven, maybe. They almost never issue them within six days. What? You look like you just want to get this over and done with.”

“...Honestly, I may feel that way a bit, yeah,” said Haruhiro.

“It’s not going to be that simple. If you were blood relatives, you could go to Tenboro Tower and sign the papers yourself. But volunteer soldiers aren’t family. If he’d been married, it would be a different matter.”

“Married...”

That was another word that just didn’t feel real, and Haruhiro couldn’t help but think about how Moguzo would never be able to get married.

He never can. Because he died. It feels like a lie. I lifted Moguzo’s motionless body with my own hands, carried him all the way to the crematorium, and even saw the bones and ashes that were left afterwards, and I still can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe.

“He wasn’t yet, right?” Bri-chan asked. “Married, that is.”

“...Yeah, he wasn’t.”

“For a volunteer soldier who’s single, they’re without any relatives, so the Volunteer Soldier Corps office is the one that confirms their identity. I’ll need signatures from all of you.”

“Huh? Not just from me?” Haruhiro asked.

“Yes. The whole party,” said Bri-chan. “And I’ll need you all to sign it in front of me. That’s the law.”

“So, then...” Haruhiro began.

“Come back later.”

As he walked away from the office dejectedly, Haruhiro was at a loss for what to do. Ranta, Yume, and Shihoru would be fine. But what about Merry?

Now that I think about it, up until now, we’ve never really talked about plans, thought Haruhiro. We just gathered at the north gate every morning, as if that was the natural thing to do. After Moguzo died, did we talk at all about what to do the next day? Wait, no, that’s just it. The day it happened, we had to take care of the burial and stuff, so Merry stayed in Yume and Shihoru’s room that night. I think it was around noon, the next day. When I saw her at the lodge, we got talking about what to do with Moguzo’s things, then we went to the Yorozu Deposit Company... and when we split up in the evening, I don’t feel like the topic of what to do the next day came up.

I wonder what Merry’s doing, he thought. Yume and Shihoru might know where Merry’s renting a room. Guess I’ll have to try asking. Actually, it might be better to have Yume and Shihoru go instead of me. At times like this, it might be better if they were all girls. Either way, I need to find a way to get in touch and meet up with her.

Haruhiro was holding onto a chit for 60 gold. He needed to split it between five people.

—Five, huh. Five people. One short. Split it five ways...? I can’t split a chit. I’ve got to exchange it for money first. If I recall, I should be able to trade it in at the Yorozu Deposit Company. I wish we’d gone to the office before we went to Yorozu’s. Still, we only found out about the procedure we need to go through from Yorozu, so I guess it wouldn’t have worked.

“Ahhh...”

As Haruhiro dragged his feet down the road back to the lodging house, he started to feel sick of everything.

“What a pain...”

I want to stop and stand still. I want to crouch down and clutch my head. I want to curl into a ball and stay like that forever.

Suddenly, he remembered Choco. He’d totally forgotten. Haruhiro was appalled with himself.

I’m seriously terrible. So terrible, all I can really do is laugh. Choco died, didn’t she? Choco’s party, too. They were probably wiped out. I wonder what happened to Choco. Did someone give her a proper burial? The plan was driven by the Frontier Army to begin with. I doubt they’d leave bodies lying around after the battle.

Burial.

Burial, huh.

We burn them, reduce them to bones and ash, then bury them up on that hill, but what good does it do? Nothing really comes of it. It’s just that, if we don’t cremate them, No-Life King’s curse will turn them into zombies. It wouldn’t sit right with me to let Choco come back as a zombie. I don’t want that. Absolutely not.

For those who’ve died, they aren’t able to do anything about the bodies they leave behind. It falls to the living to do something about it for them.

Did we manage to handle things right? Are we handling things right? What do you think, Moguzo? Isn’t there more we could be doing? Like, some way you’d wanted us to do things? Or were there things you wouldn’t have wanted us to do? We’re not doing anything wrong, are we?

I can ask, but he won’t answer. Moguzo’s gone. Choco’s gone, too. They’re dead.

It doesn’t feel real, but they’re dead.

That’s no lie.

It’s the truth.

“We never should have gone...” he murmured.

The order. We never should have accepted it. Neither should Choco and her party. It was too much for us.

“Who was it who brought up the idea...?” he asked himself.

It was Ranta. Damn him.

“...But I was the one who made the decision.”

If Haruhiro hadn’t voted in favor, they might not have accepted the order. No, there was no “might” about it. They probably wouldn’t have.

If he hadn’t talked with Choco about how her party was going to accept the order, Haruhiro probably wouldn’t have convinced himself to do so. Back then, he should have done whatever it took to stop Choco. He should have told her that it was dangerous. It was reckless. That she couldn’t go.

If her party hadn’t been willing to change their minds, she could have left them. He should have persuaded her to. Haruhiro should have voted against. No matter how much of a fuss Ranta would have kicked up about it. They couldn’t handle what they couldn’t handle. It was too dangerous. The risk was too great.

But, at the time, Haruhiro had thought the risk wasn’t that high, so he’d voted in favor.

I know, he thought bitterly. Hindsight is always 20/20. Once something like this happens, it’s natural to think that everything I did was a mistake. I want to blame someone, even if it’s myself. Even though that’s pointless.

No matter what I do, Moguzo’s not coming back.

Haruhiro looked up to the sky.

What time is it now? Around three o’clock in the afternoon. It’s awfully sunny. I dunno what to say. It’s a sunny day, Moguzo.

“I just have to keep looking forward, don’t I?” he asked himself. “There’s nothing else I can do...”

The sky’s so beautiful, it almost seems like a joke.

Haruhiro covered half his face with his right hand. It stung his eyes.