Chapter 2: Skeleton-san’s Cooking Classroom

Tararattattattattattan♪ Tararattattattattan♪

It’s time for skeleton-san’s cooking classroom.

Yes, today we will intrude upon the house of an intellectual being from afterlife world, skeleton-san.

As usual, the one who will explain this is, Gooogle-sensei.

Best regards

[Me too]

The former owner of this house is already dead, so because this house is a deserted house, definitely it’s okay to say that the owner is skeleton-san.

Uhm…First, there’s a lump of meat suspended from the ceiling.

What for?

[Okay, the soul information body of afterlife race is really weak to salt, because of that, they must remove the salt content from their flesh.]

Aah, I understand, it’s called blood draining process, right?

[Yes, a very thick blood vessel runs from the heart until brain, and structurally, the fact that all blood in your body plays a part in increasing the efficiency. Also, by hanging the body upside down, it converts potential energy from gravity into draining speed.]

I understood, that’s why they hang it upside down like that, isn’t it?

I think even me would hang it if I had anything to do with blood removal.

When I’m playing games, I see they use metal hook to support their neck often, is that wrong?

[It’s wrong for meat processing. The right one is by making the feet upside. However, it’s a game, so I think they take appearance into account when staging it.]

I understood, staging, huh?

Certainly, we don’t really eat that, so they take more consideration to appearance, right?

[Correct, like the layers of gorgeous wedding cake in the former world, the edible area is extremely small, that’s a result of taking more consideration toward visual satisfaction in events I think.]

I understand I understand, I’m finally able to understand it.

Oh my, looks like the blood draining went smoothly.

However, this job takes so much time, is it really okay?

Look, after this they will corrupt the soul information body, right? Won’t the soul escape from the body?

[The soul information body will stay inside the body for 20 minutes after biological death. So, as to not damage the transcripted soul information when corrupting soul information body, they will take the salt inside body until the last minute. And, many skilled skeletons start the job when he or she is still alive.]

I understood, the skill of craftsmen, right?

Even one second longer, and it would take out more salt. The work of craftsmen right?

However, from some time ago, that act of rubbing ankle downward to thigh, is there any hidden meaning behind that?

[This is called squeezing out process. Like why the thigh is called the second heart, by making blood flow artificially like that, it can increase the efficiency of work even more. And there’s a case of collaboration doing this process when several afterlife race are present.]

Aaah, I understood, while thinking about the baby who will be born after this, they squeeze their love, huh.

It looks like a farmer milking, a beautiful spectacle.

However, seeing this for 20 minutes is a bit boring, so can I ask you a question?

[Of course, Karl-sama, what is it?]

Skeleton-san, how do they move?

Look, they don’t have any muscle, is it something like super power?

[Intellectual being from afterlife world is a spiritual living being with soul information body as their core, so by making their medium in real word as the center, they expand energy field from soul information body to envelop the surface of the medium, they utilize that to act. And, to increase the efficiency of work, they need an indirect support physically, so they relatively avoid breaking or snapping their prey’s bones which will become their new body. But, it’s not like repairing is impossible, they can reconnect the snapped bone or repairing the crack by using the energy from soul information body.]

Hmm… Hmm… I understood.

Then, isn’t something like dolls enough for them?

[There’s nowhere you can paste the soul information body in dolls. So, it’s impossible to place soul information body.]

Aah, then, I can’t make beautiful girl robot-type skeleton-san, can I?

That’s really disappointing.

By the way, I heard skeleton-san is weak to salt, so if I sprinkle some salt to him, would he die like a slug?

[It will die if you bury all of its body with a lot of salt, but if you only throw some salt, it would end with only damaging the area where soul information body got hit with salt, I can’t say it’s efficient. I think it would more efficient if you tried to dissolve the salt first in water, making the salt stick to the medium, resulting of continuous damage.]

I understood, so it means, so just by spreading or throwing something which contains salt to the surface will give them damage, right?

[Yes, just like that.]

Thank you, sensei, very helpful.

Oh? Looks like the blood draining process have finished, so does it mean there’s still a plenty of time limit?

[Yes, looks like this prey’s processing starts after death, so the time limit is so short. There’s still a plenty of salt remaining inside the flesh.]

Is this a failure?

[No, it’s intended. There’s a fluffy soul information body floating beside skeleton who do the work. Looks like this time they’re trying to possess the target.]

Possession? Not transcription?

[Yes, if an afterlife race lost their medium in this world due to accident, its soul body information would float around like that waiting for their regeneration. Thus, by predating the soul body information of the medium which is prepared by their comrades, and at the same time they will stick their soul body information toward the part where they can be attached to, and synchronize with their medium. As supplemental information, when someone tries to possess a target whose salt content not fully taken out, the salt content will obstruct it, and in some cases the possessor might die.]

For a floating ghost to be able to die, quite a poetic expression, but does that mean when I meet something floating like that, and try to scatter them with my hand, can I kill him like that?

[Yes, quite possible.]

However, I can’t understand the meaning why that the short process time is “intended though?

[It’s a harassment.]

Aah, I understood, you will be able to see its suffering by letting it possess a target which still have some salt left huh.

How evil.

[Not as much as Karl-sama]

…………………….Eh?

H-hhmm, now, looks like the possession just began!!

It’s the birth of a new life! A very moving moment!

Aah, it writhes in pain of birth! It suffer from the intense pain of the birth of life!!

[The soul body information got damaged, and if you say in flesh, it’s just like feeling pain.]

Ooh, the skeleton-san who did the processing laughs dryly while pointing at the victim.

Certainly, it’s a harassment.

[In this case, you can remove the salt content by draining the blood even further after that possession or rot the flesh using moderate warm water. However, this time it’s still hanging from its leg, so neither can be done.]

Aah, certainly, in this situation, you can’t do anything.

I don’t know their language, but looks like the new skeleto……zombie-san is horribly angry and cursing his friend, right?

And looks like that skeleton-san ridicule it horribly.

Well, they’re close to the extent of preparing its friend new body, so they’re probably friends on the level where they can fight.

Friendship, so beautiful, isn’t it……

Well, I want to ask while zombie-san is wriggling in the background though, what’s the difference between possession and transcription?

[Possession is just like what you see before, that is the process of predating the target soul information body and use it as a medium. Transcription is the process of initializing the target soul information body and then copying its own soul information body to the initialized target.]

I understood, so when he’s doing that, he will definitely do the process carefully because it’s for its youngling.

It means, their goal is copy paste themselves, huh?

Certainly a virus…….

That’s all! The program of afterlife word’s intelligent life, skeleton-san’s home!!

Well, we must think about the countermeasure of skeleton-sans or you could say the afterlife world’s intelligent beings from past information though, but how did this kind of interesting creature come to this world?

[Because of science’s progress and failure.]

Eh? Science? Even though it’s a zombie, from science?

Aah, virus, or something similar is the reason, isn’t it?

But nowadays, it’s more like the malfunction of nanomachine, huh……, no, that happened 12,000 years ago.

That game, so nostalgic, I don’t think I want to do real survival in this world though.

[It was an experiment about mankind’s dream, achieving perpetual youth and longevity. If you say that in this present world, the afterlife’s science have reached the area of soul, so they try to accomplish transcription their self-ego which is bound to their flesh to soul body information. After many failures, they finally succeed. However, the information transcripted is included the personality, thought, and in addition of memory, self-preservation and self-propagation. Then, after they succeed making the second male subject into spiritual living being, the soul information body started to get corrupted, and after that the former intelligent life of afterlife world, the common human is taken over by the spiritual living being which is called afterlife race. In the beginning it’s the personality of one man, but after that, due to experience, the individual difference started to appear. But essentially, they didn’t change.]

It means, essentially, their personality is bad, huh.

Not just the soul of a child of three become one hundred, but twelve thousand, huh.

How should I put it, their personality is bad, love to tease, quite unhateable skeletons, right……

Moody, love festival, fear no death, living for eternity, they’re great skeletons, right?

However, it’s quite sad, struggle for existence is.

Changing place, the place is my Grosse……no, that baldie Grosse’s brother country, Prussia Kingdom’s royal capital, Hamburg.

Different from Grosse Kingdom’s fake nobles, that county is the birthplace of prideful and haughty nobles.

This country, I don’t like it…… I really don’t like it to the extent of wanting that country to just perish.

The self-proclaimed blue blood, I heard they have blue blood, are they mutant?

Although I say brother country, Prussia Kingdom is the elder brother, and Grosse Kingdom is the little brother, it means, they are looking down Grosse.

Something like Grosse’s nobles flatter the commoners, or Grosse’s royal family doesn’t have dignity…..Huh? I can’t talk back to them about the latter, you know?

Well anyway, I hate their gaze as if they are greater than us.

But Prussia Kingdom claimed to be the elder brother kingdom just because they have the rights of salt supply.

And I came to that that place as the ambassador of Alps United Kingdom.

They can’t help but throw an evening party as a diplomatic gesture even to their young, young brother country, because we come as a goodwill ambassador.

Being royalty and nobles are troublesome, huh? Thankfully.

I thought they will put simple things because the one who comes is some rural noble but what actually come is very luxurious.

Seems like someone who possesses <Cooking> divine protection made this splendid full course.

And moreover, very many influential noble and their child gathered in this place, this hospitality, I’ll gladly took it.

Seems like they want to show the difference in national power between us.

Thought so, letters are another thing, the gift is only a fur.

I understand what they want to say even though they didn’t voice it out.

“I bet you’ve never seen this kind of extravagant food, haven’t you? You country bumpkin!” or so.

You guys haven’t seen the “Dragon King” Roni-sama’s insect cuisine either!!

Its appearance is very bad you know!! Until you would want to cry!!

And also, with those nobles attitude, Albrecht-kun and friends might have already snapped off at them.

And, with that that eyes brimming with anger he threaten the [Demon Lord] like, ‘Hurry up you stupid’.

It’s always been like this since I take him to sightseeing tour in Italy.

And even though I gave them their yearned shopping tour in Italy with no fees as a present, don’t you think this is unreasonable?

Well, anyway, before weakening the enemy we must strengthen ourselves, was it?

If you ask only to get carried away, then I will take it.

Presenting demon beast’s skin as present for barbarians, I want to see those kind of cliché noble.

“Prince Karl’s, oh excuse me, you’ve already been disinherited, haven’t you? Er, Ambassador Karl? Your <Divine Protection> is <Boobs>, was it?”

Ah, it’s been a long time since I heard that from someone.

My divine protection in public is special grade <Boobs>, wasn’t it?

Truly with an unpleasant smile he’s sneering at me.

What an unsightly ridiculing provocative smile.

These nobles aren’t really stupid.

To dare to provoke me and be rude to this “Me”, a goodwill ambassador, seems like he wanted to assert dominance diplomatically.

A bad move actually. A poor plan through and through.

There’s a saying that says diplomacy is a war.

And there’s also a saying that says war is also one part of diplomacy.

Today, at this place, I really have come to war,

The nobles that have gathered here, even though you’re going to the battlefield, don’t you think your resolution is a bit lacking?

“E, yes, well, it is <Boobs>.”

“Ooh, so it really is <Boobs>, it’s wonderful in itself, isn’t it? Will you please make my mistress’s breast bigger?”

“No no, you should do my favourite prostitute first, please.”

To surround an eleven years old kid with this much malice, such hard-core nobles they are.

So much I want to praise them.

But, when you’ve used the same move over and over again, the next time you use the same move again you might fall into a trap, you know?

“As I thought. Is this that? You got that because you yearned your mother’s breasts so much right?”

They even slandered my mother who staked her life to give birth to me, looks like they’re already prepared.

Come one, laugh, because I came here purposely to be a laughingstock.

“I think that one has gone too far, If I’m not mistaken, Prince’s, no the disinherited ambassador’s mother didn’t live even a year after giving birth. You might not remember. No, was it exactly because you don’t remember? But, well, boobs are really wonderful.”

Loud laugh resounded at the assembly hall where the evening party is held.

The people surrounding also got lured by that and giggled a bit.

Certainly, if big breasted Louise-neesama were to go to this evening party, people will be looking at her breast and think of her as some kind of prostitute or something.

And there’s also some lolicon who will be looking at Charlotte as if licking her… ah, that fat guy! I remember him!!

Just because they held the right for salts.

That’s why, Grosse Kingdom up till now, had been under their humiliation for a long time.

Even though they should be a brother country that helps each other because they’re surrounded by big countries from east and west, the reality is like this.

There are some upper and lower status between countries, so when there’s a blunder in diplomatic gestures, the one who had to lower their head is none other than Grosse Kingdom.

If they stop their salt supply, we would wither away.

Big breasted Louise-neesama had to endure it. Siegfried-niisama also had to endure it too. Even Leonhart-niisama had to endure it desperately. Wilhelm-tousama had to endure it even more to protect his family. Grosse royal family had to endure it for generations.

But… I will not endure it, okay?

“Come to think of it, I have some good news, I found salt mine in the Alps United Kingdom. And also now it is also possible to procure salt from Vatican City.”

Robbery using the dragons counted as “possible to procure” category, right? So I didn’t say anything wrong, totally.

The salt mine is Bex salt mine.

I didn’t know it during my previous life, but the one who knew the existence of rock salt is sensei because he looked it up and found it.

For humans it might be a hard job, but for Dwarf-san who loves holes, it was an easy job. Just how much do they like holes? It’s like they intended to pierce through Alps mountain range from east to west.

Because they seize the rights for salt, Prussia kingdom had always been the elder brother kingdom.

And they know this very well. So everyone here knows the weight of these words, right?

When it was about to be noisy, let’s deal the final blow in.

“And also, you bastards, do you know who you speak to? I’m Highland kingdom’s viceroy Karl Gustav Pendragon. Since some time ago you’ve been talking about something interesting like mistress and prostitute, aren’t you? And also the sneers towards me, I will not forgive it. Your Majesty Prussia Kingdom King Friedrich. I demand to give them punishment for this disrespect and humiliation, can you?”

His majesty Friedrich who is looking down towards an eleven years old boy from top of the stairs loses color on his face.

And those who were ridiculing me too.

When you’re in another country doing diplomacy, a viceroy is treated the same as a king. Because he’s the king’s proxy, it’s natural.

To sneer at me would be the same as sneering at King Arthur.

Lese majeste is basically capital punishment, and on its application, it’s also capital punishment.

If not, it would just be the same as a proclamation of war. Attacking a goodwill ambassador who isn’t guilty is also the same as war proclamation.

I have the proof handwritten by Arthur-kun in my pocket too.

“Karl’s enemy is also my enemy. Just use it whenever you like” said Arthur-kun when he gave it to me. I’ll use it when I need it.

Although I don’t have any intention to spill even a drop of Highland kingdom’s citizen’s blood though.

There are three choices.

First, we deal with it by just think of what happened here as an accident. It would be the best decision.

Second, cut down all of those influential nobles who sneered at me here.

Third, declare war towards Highland kingdom.

His majesty Friedrich’s hands trembled, all the soldier who guards this assembly hall simultaneously draws their sword.

Albrecht-kun and the others closed in to protect me. They haven’t drawn their swords yet.

“Come! [NTR-gou]!!”

It’s already harmonized as one.

From the evening party hall’s balcony and walls few dragon’s heads show up.

Now then, the swords have been drawn. So there’s no third choice. Because if they declare war, they must send me back home as a messenger.

Although, there’s also a savage way of just returning my head, that’s not the style of this country. And also, it’s impossible, literally.

“Well then, I would like to ask you once more. It’s about where those soldiers pointing their sword to. Will those soldiers not sheathe their swords until blood is shed?”

Killing me along with this many dragons, or killing every influential nobles without leaving a single of their child alive, a really beautiful two choices problem.

His Majesty Prussia Kingdom’s King Friedrich, please choose, okay?

Actually in this luxurious evening party with their luxurious line-up, but the only mysterious thing is the self-proclaimed blue blood’s blood was actually red.

If they didn’t have any ambition to dominate the former Frank Empire’s territory after the snow thawed, I won’t do this though.

Humans can’t be satisfied with what they have in hand, really a bothersome creature.

Now then, what His Majesty Prussia Kingdom King Friedrich who killed many influential nobles of his country because he lost to dragon’s coercion will do then….. No, what fate lies ahead of him?

Please do your best.