Chapter 2
‘—Have you reflected on what you’ve done?’
Around the time I was waiting at the bus stop the next morning, a phone call came in from Azuki Azusa. Although it was the morning of a warm summer, it was so dark outside that it felt like a cold winter night. Though the wind had calmed down, the passing showers only grew stronger, dancing in ecstasy upon the asphalt. It was like the sky was dumping a bucket full of water. That’s probably the right expression to use here.
“The typhoon? It’ll be fine, no worries. It’ll pass eventually!”
The weather report Onee-san spoke in an optimistic tone on the broadcast that the salaryman next to me was listening to. That’s way too vague… She should at least have the guts to strip completely during the broadcast if the prediction is wrong.
‘Hello? Hey! Are you listening to me?’
“Ah, y-yeah! I was just thinking that taking off the socks last was the best choice, myself.”
‘What are you talking about? I’m asking if you’ve reflected like a monkey enjoying the sunlight with a full stomach! If you show some sincerity, I won’t mind rethinking this!’
“Sincerity? For example?”
‘It’s not related to anything, but in a shounen manga I read a while ago, the bad prince converted, and softly k… ki… ki-ki… kissed the princess during one scene. That totally isn’t related at all, though…’
I see. That really doesn’t have anything to do with this. Azuki Azusa spoke with her high, beautiful voice so quickly and loudly that I was worried people close to me would be able to hear it. Naturally, that was totally the case, and I had already gathered the attention of the people standing around me. I really don’t like standing out, alright? Especially when I’m wearing such a baggy jersey.
I found myself unable to stay in that storehouse last night, but I was also unable to return to the hall, so I just stumbled upon an empty room and spent the night there. Because the Tsutsukakushi Household is so large, the inhabitants probably wouldn’t even notice a pervert living there. Being the gentleman that I am, I have to live there with Tsutsukakushi and protect her!
Even when morning came around and I looked for Tsutsukakushi, I couldn’t get in touch with her at all. I carefully made my way to the entrance, terrified at the prospect that the Steel King might find me, but it seemed that my movements had apparently been seen through, and I found an umbrella next to my shoes. That level of consideration makes my heart feel warm, to be honest. Now I want to make Tsutsukakushi my sister even more.
‘…Did you say something? I can hear a lot of noise around you.’
“Ahh, sorry. It’s just raining cats and dogs over here. That reminds me, you were supposed to come back from Okinawa today, right? Did you enjoy your trip?”
‘—!!!”’
At that very moment, a voice stabbed right into my eardrums. Across the phone, Azuki Azusa audibly exploded. She was howling and barking like a small puppy. Wh-What is with this threatening attitude?!
“W-What happened?! Calm down! Take some deep breaths! Lamaze breathing, okay?!”
‘Haaa… Fuuu… Haaa… Fuuuuuu!’
“That’s right! You’re doing a great job! …Wait, this isn’t childbirth. So did something happen over in Okinawa? Did you get ostracised after indulging in a night of yuri action?”
‘As if! We managed to make up and got back to how we were previously! And thank you very much for that!’
“Haha, don’t sweat it. I’m happy as long as you’re happy. Talk to you later.”
‘Ehehe, bye bye… Wait, hold on! That’s not it! More importantly, have you at least reflected on what you did, you pervert?! Did you not feel anything after hearing the answering machine when you called?!’
“The one where you asked me if I knew what I did wrong…?”
‘Exactly! You must have been lonely since you weren’t able to talk to me, right?! Being forced apart, made your heart feel like it was being ripped to pieces. You were always wondering what the other person was doing, unable to get a wink of sleep, and bursting out crying like a rabbit at least four times every night, right?!”
“Nope, none of that happened, Miss.”
That sounded awfully realistic, though. I wonder why. I heard a pouting sound coming from Azuki Azusa which sounded like the defeated howl of a dog.
“…Listen, can you just tell me the reason why you’re so angry?”
‘You’re starting from there?! Don’t make me say it! You swindling rabbit of a pretentious magpie of a corrupted hippotatomus!’
“I don’t get it, but that is some pretty intense vocabulary you’ve got there!”
‘Urk! T-The swimsuit I bought was really amazing, okay?! You’re just a pervert, so why are you…?!’
“Calm down already!”
Azuki Azusa really isn’t hitting the brakes. Just what is going on here? Did she… want to go on the trip with me? Is she angry that the paradigm change in the southern country was ruined because of me? If you think about it rationally, that can’t be it. We are friends, granted, but we’re not so close that we’d just go on a trip with the two of us. We even call each other “pervert” and “flatty,” so I can only see a development like that happening in some kind of game. She never even invited me once. So what is it…?
“I see how it is. I get it, I finally get it! How foolish I’ve been!”
‘It’s too late for that! Even if you apologize… If it’s not… like… you know… how that prince did it… I won’t forgive you, okay…?’
“That’s right. I’m not a prince. It’s too late now. I’m so sorry for not catching on to your feelings.”
‘…Eh? Mine? W-Wait! For what… how far back… are you apologizing?’
“I’m sure I’ll end up hurting you again. But I have to say it no matter what.”
‘E-Eh…wait, don’t tell me you’re going to reject me aga—!’
To someone like me, who holds a beginner-level certification in Azuki Azusa studies, it’s actually a really simple problem. The keyword here is ‘swimsuit’. In other words, the swimsuit didn’t fit Azuki Azusa at all! After all, there’s nothing for it to hold on to! Azuki Azusa is the type of person who’d vent her anger out on other people. It makes total sense. I couldn’t be there to keep her from choosing a ridiculous swimsuit.
“But accepting a challenge is not a bad thing by any means. Let’s work together from now on!”
‘…Eh…eh…eh…? Why are you of all people trying to cheer me up? How and in what way are we going to work together? Eh?’
“You’ll eventually get used to it. For starters, we’ll have to make it fit with your body. I’ll introduce you to some ways we can make it work.”
‘M-My body?! We’re starting a physical relationship?! E-Ehhhhh?’
“Oh, the bus is here. I’ll talk to you later, then.”
The final voice Azuki Azusa made before I cut the call made it sound like her anger had subsided at least, so I can close the page on this story. The End.
The bus was filled with countless salarymen going to their jobs. Luckily, I managed to grab onto a handhold. I breathed a sigh of relief. After everything that had happened, I was a bit scared when my phone calls wouldn’t connect. I enjoy talking to Azuki Azusa. It feels like I’m playing catch with a small puppy who has human emotions. Though she bites me sometimes, which kinda hurts.
Still, I plan to stay friends with her, and I think Azuki Azusa feels the same way. We’re so close!
“…Alright, that pumped me up a bit.”
I quietly took some deep breaths, banishing my last traces of faintheartedness. No matter how scared I might be, no matter how disheartened I am, I can’t just run away all the time.
This morning, right after I left the Tsutsukakushi Household, I headed towards my own home. But no matter how many times I checked the location, I was always greeted by an empty lot. The domino chain was still missing its last domino. Even though I still had no clue how it could have happened, the Yokodera family house was truly gone without a trace.
—In other words, this is my loss. Though I don’t like it, I feel some sense of familiarity with this situation. I’ll have to ask that thing—the new cat statue—in that storehouse about it. It’s probably the most knowledgeable about this. It’s time to ignore the battle for my little sister for a while.
The bus came to a halt. I spaced out and looked through the rain-spattered window at the outer wall of our school.
Today, the track-and-field club still held activities as normal. On rainy days before now, club activities had been like being tortured in hell, but thanks to the club president’s kindness today, it was a bit easier to handle. She had finally stopped saying ‘Indoor practice is a means of escape for the weak.’ I’m truly grateful.
After changing into the track-and-field jersey I had previously stowed away in my locker, I headed towards the training room.
“Now, let’s do our best today!”
“Tch. So it’s Pervert Day today. If you try anything weird, I’ll kill you even if it means pursuing you to the ends of the universe.”
When I arrived, the vice president of the club looked at me like I was a rotten dustcloth. Oh my, where did she learn these sadistic tendencies? I’m quaking in my boots here.
Our track-and-field club is trying to have practice every day, even during summer break. As for me, I can only participate once in a week. I was forced to accept the reality that all the girls were apparently giving me odd stares. They all now knew me as the ‘Perverted Prince,’ so I had been degraded to a tentative club member.
The club members had all paired up and were spaced out here and there, each of them lying down on mattresses on the floor. When I looked over at one corner of the room, I saw a TV playing a training video. So first up is muscle training, huh? Though most of the girls weren’t quite as leery of me as the vice president was, they still didn’t dare approach me any closer than four meters.
“The Prince is looking…”
“He seems worse today than usual…”
“Hey, don’t talk about him. He might hear you…”
Being treated like this almost made me feel like I was someone of noble rank walking down a velvet carpet. I’d love to wrap myself up in this carpet and take a deep dive into Dan-no-Ura1. More importantly, I’d go somewhere that the gazes of the girls wouldn’t be quite as intense.
Inevitably—
“Over here, Yokodera. You can hold my legs down for me.”
The process of elimination ensued, and I was forced to pair up with the Steel King. Though I mentally prepared myself for retaliation after what happened last night, the King just grabbed my legs and started instructing me. We went to the corner of the training room, and she laid defenseless on the mattress. Her great body was perfectly balanced, and her slender legs were sticking out. As always, she’s clueless to how sexy she can look.
“…Do you not feel weird with me around, club president?”
“Hm? I don’t get what you mean. Your eyes are burning with passion for the track-and-field club as clearly and as purely as the sparkling contents of your bile.”
That’s definitely not the evaluation I expected! Since I was wearing the club jersey, she probably believed that I was the Yokodera-kun who loves track-and-field. Thinking about it, the only fundamental difference between the younger Yokodera brother and I might actually be the uniform or jersey…
“What’s wrong, Yokodera? Why are you letting out an anguished sigh like that? Did you come up with a way to massacre everyone during the 5000m run?
“I don’t remember the long-distance race involving murder!”
“That makes sense… In this situation where anything could happen, your effort to find a peaceful situation is something I should learn from.”
“Did we agree on something that I wasn’t aware of?”
No matter how kind she had gotten, isn’t she putting too much blind faith in her track-and-field club members? As a side note, the other third-years have stopped coming to the club this month in preparation for the national exams, but the Steel King is still coming to practice as the club president, citing the reason that the next club president hasn’t been decided yet. When is she going to study for her entrance exams? Then again, I probably shouldn’t ask. Or rather, I don’t need to ask. I know she isn’t going to study.
She probably thinks the track-and-field club activities are an indispensable part of her life. It’s like watching a show late at night, but the TV isn’t projecting any image anymore, so you just stare at the screen, watching some imaginary program.
If not for her—if not for the club president who urged me to come back to the club—I would have probably stayed away from track-and-field, spending my days as late-night TV researcher Yokodera-kun. I really am grateful to her.
“Let’s start this. Three sets of thirty sit-ups to exercise our back muscles, and then we switch—Uuuurmmmh!”
“…Eh?”
“Phew… One… Ahhhnnn… Two… Mmmh… Three…”
The flower of trust that had been blooming inside my chest quickly turned to whitered silver grass. Why is the King letting out such an erotic voice?! I’m going to start having weird fantasies here! Wearing only a thin t-shirt, the King was busy bending her upper body towards me, training her abs, which led to the shirt being pulled and twisted in every direction. My head was telling me to look away, but my instincts were of a different opinion. What marvelous fanservice.
“Kya…. 16… Kuu… 17… Ahhh…”
Her tender lips were breathing rhythmically. I could see the faint outline of her underwear through the white t-shirt. Beyond that, I could see something spongy. Her two mountains were moving up and down directly in the middle of my view. The sight and sound of it was so beautiful that it was nearly melodic.
“Mmm… 23… Fuahhh… 24… uuuu…”
The King’s clear and cool facial features were approaching my own face, distorting in agony. The indecent feelings instigated by this sight continued to stimulate me, and as I started mentally preparing myself for the music’s grand finale—
“Hey, Pervert. You’re dead meat.”
“?!”
Out of nowhere, the vice president’s face came into view. She had just taken a break, and she was bending over with her face next to mine. This girl had succeeded the previous vice president, who was a third-year. Truth be told, we had never really talked too much before. Still, I heard that she was a true follower of the Steel King, watching her every move and copying every fiber of her being. She tied her hair into a ponytail like the Steel King did, and even used the same kind of hair band.
After carefully observing me and what I was doing, she glared daggers at me that were sharper than ice.
“Dead meat is such a violent word. Explain your feelings and circumstances.”
Having finished one set of sit-ups, the Steel King raised her upper body fully.
“This guy was looking at you with indecent eyes,” She crouched near the King’s knees as she came closer, pointing at me.
It’s rare to see someone taking such a liking to the Steel King. Then again, I can’t deny that I had been practically staring at the club president. I have a conscience, so I’m willing to bear whatever punishment—
“He had the vicious eyes of a criminal as he closely inspected your body. His lower half was the main culprit. He was clearly planning on getting the club president to bear his children.”
“None of that! How about you choose your words a bit more carefully?!”
“He was about to shower you with his carnal desires and genetic fluid. Hey, what are you making a girl like me say, you pervert?”
“Huuuuuuh?! I didn’t even begin to think that! I’m the one who’s the most disgusted here! You’re standing at the top of the pervert hierarchy here!”
“Don’t point at me. I can’t relax for one moment around you. What are you planning on doing with that finger?”
“I ain’t doing anything, I can’t do anything, and I won’t do anything! What were you even imagining?!”
“Now calm down, you two. I don’t have the foggiest idea what you two are talking about. Yokodera’s sickness should be cured now. Even if I were to embrace him while fully naked, he would have no ill intent at all. Am I wrong?”
“Ah, o-of course, you are perfectly right… I guess?”
“The pervert just looked at you, Club President. He was raping you with his eyes.”
“That doesn’t mean you can stab me in the eyes with your fingers, okay?!”
“I get it, I get it. I’ll talk with Yokodera alone, so you return to practice,” The Steel King shook her head. Her ponytail looked like a majestic crown as it swayed back and forth.
The vice president still looked like she had something else to say, but she was shooed away.
“The thing is, Yokodera, I truly did feel a passionate gaze from you. I could tell that you were thinking about something.”
“…Eh?”
“You need to talk about something, right? Just tell me everything. A club member’s troubles are my troubles. Let’s try to solve it together, shall we?”
Like a kind lion overflowing with affection, she showed a gentle smile. What is with this King? She’s way too kind… My heart skipped a beat, just for a bit. Only for a small bit, though.
I had been wrong. The first thing I blamed when my home vanished was the ‘Stony Cat’. But ever since the incident last month on the hill with the cedar tree, nothing else of that sort had happened. The cat statue might have lost its power, or it might have been satisfied after seeing the Tsutsukakushi sisters reconcile. The offerings placed at the feet of the statue had been going down in number of late, as well. But during this time when things were finally settling down, another mystery had occurred.
So, what if the perpetrator were a new cat statue? There is the cat statue on the hill with the cedar, and also the giant statue I found in the storehouse at the Tsutsukakushi Household. The old cat statue lost its power, and a new statue arose—That’s what I had guessed, but the Steel King’s words denied that assumption.
“The cat statue up on the hill is something that I created when I was young. I told you already, right? I wouldn’t have made something like that without something to base it off of.”
In other words, the cat statue on the hill was nothing but a replica. Basically, she was saying that the giant statue in the storehouse was actually the real one.
—A ‘Cat God.’
“Even if you say that, I don’t really get it.”
“Hm. Does your family not have a god you worship?”
“We don’t share a specific religion, so I’m not too informed in that regard.”
“It is a bit different from a normal religion. I wonder what… It might be comparable to being possessed by a fox spirit… Ahhnnn!” The Steel King bent her back, letting out that highly questionable sigh (moan?).
Indeed, the Steel King was once again working on her back muscles. That’s why I was helping her like before. This time, if I were to touch or look at her in any weird way, there was no doubt that the vice president would kill me with her cold gaze. My strength of will is really being tested here!
“If there are people who are possessed by fox spirits, then we’re a family haunted by the Cat God. Apparently, our family is called the ‘Cat God Lineage’.”
“Ohhh… a Cat God lineage?”
“It’s basically a ghost story that originated in China. It possesses a family and brings about prosperity, but also curses the family members to a short life. These sorts of stories appear in the Taiping Guangji2 that I was read to when I was younger. …Well, for better or worse, once you’re part of a family with long-lasting roots, they pass down a lot of nonsense. I for one don’t believe in this sort of thing.”
“Huh. I guess the Tsutsukakushi Family really does go back a ways.”
“Indeed, it is a name mentioned and accepted even in the Musashi Fudoki3. Most likely, some of our ancestors without a name wished for prosperity and worshiped the cat god. Even an evil spirit is a god, and wanting to have your wish granted is fairly common practice. Clinging to a wish takes a lot of determination, after all.”
“Ohhh… so they worked hard with their determination guiding them.”
I feel like the Steel King is talking about something incredibly important, but I couldn’t focus on what she was saying at all. Since the Steel King kept talking throughout her entire training, my brain cells were too stimulated with something else. Though I omitted it above, I want you to try adding an ‘Ahnnn’ or an ‘Uuuuhnnn’ after every single sentence she just spoke. I left it out so you could have an easier time understanding what she just said, but the reality I faced was much different.
When you consider the fact that I could see her slender neck tense up with every move as her ponytail shook left and right, as well as the fact that her thighs were right underneath my own body, how could I hope to focus? If this were one of those videos I liked watching, they would have put a mosaic filter over it, and they might have even censored some of the sounds she was making.
“Either way, the fact that my parents passed away suddenly isn’t at all related to the Cat God lineage. The reason we own all this land isn’t because of a god’s will, but rather because of our ancestors’ hard work. Thus, during my generation, the Cat God was sealed. We wouldn’t be able to face our ancestors if we achieved everything because of wishes granted by such a Cat God.”
“…Hm?”
Something sounded off there. The Tsutsukakushi Family is the lineage of the Cat God. But the Steel King doesn’t believe those legends. That means that this whole lineage thing should have no influence on their family right now. That makes perfect sense.
—But then why did they seal it?
“…You said that it’s a Cat God who grants wishes, right?”
“Hm?”
“Has it actually granted a wish before, then?”
The Steel King’s back-muscle-training came to a sudden halt. The superstition contradicted what the King said. Whether or not she believed in the stories, there was a reason why it had been sealed either way.
“Well… There might have been. Back when my sister and I were still young, we had a fight over splitting a steamed bun… but in the end, it was my own effort that resolved it.” The Steel King said, making it sound like she didn’t enjoy talking about it.
She said ‘In the end’. But what about the beginning? Did she pray to the Cat God inside the storehouse? What wish was granted, exactly?
“Hmmm… Back then, I didn’t know how to make up with Tsukiko, so I prayed in front of the cat statue that we could go back to normal. And poof, a chisel and a log were summoned in front of me.”
“S-Summoned? A chisel? A log? Why?”
“I thought that it was suspicious, too, but the instant I laid my hand on them, a divine revelation ran through me. It told me to create a present for Tsukiko with these items. The innocent Tsukiko took a great liking to it, which made this the first step towards our marriage.”
“In order to avoid any misunderstandings, you should probably add ‘Note: Steel Vision’ to the end of that.”
“Vision? What do you mean?”
“And they lived happily ever after! That’s an expression outside Japan!”
“Really? I’m happy to hear that.”
What a horrible divine revelation that was. Being given one is one thing, but just blindly following it like that? I guess I have to give respect where respect is due. The cat statue really loves to fulfill wishes in a twisted way… Wait, something doesn’t add up.
I thought the Stony Cat and the disappearance of my house were somewhat related. But I don’t remember wishing for my house to vanish into thin air like that. So what wish could have led to—?
“…Fuwah… Ah… Mmmm!”
As if she had suddenly remembered what she was doing, the Steel King suddenly went back to her muscle training. She seemed to be trying to catch up after her short break, so she started going crazy with her moaning. “Ahh, ahhh, [censored]’. Please stop. My brain cells won’t be able to handle this.
“Either way, because I put forth the effort, I earned the right to marry Tskukiko. That’s what I learned in my younger days.”
“She summed it up like it was a valuable life lesson! It pains me to say it, but you can’t get married to your little sister just because you exerted a bit of effort.”
“In the end, it’s just a feeble rule. Written text cannot restrict the hearts of people!”
“So cool! But when you think about it, it’s not cool at all! It’s in fact quite wrong.”
As soon as the topic of her little sister comes up, the Steel King really loses all sense of reality. She’s always had an airheaded personality, but it only gets worse when Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko is brought up. I wonder what will happen to her if her little sister finds someone she loves and actually gets married.
“By the way, I’ve been wondering something for a while now.”
“What is it?”
“How do you know there’s a Cat God enshrined in that storehouse?”
Having finished one set of reps, the Steel King turned around. While I got off from her thighs, I was met with a stern gaze.
“A-Ahh, about that! Well, you know… Um… I heard about it from my little brother.”
“I see, you heard it from the younger Yokodera brother. But didn’t you say you were on bad terms?”
Why is your memory so flawless all of a sudden?!
“T-That’s right! He just rambles on and on about stuff even when I tell him don’t care! It’s so annoying!”
“That man made up a story about how he didn’t have a home anymore, and forced his way into ours instead. Since you came here as normal in a perfectly fine mood, then that means…”
“He just speaks without thinking! I can’t believe him!”
“Don’t speak too badly of him. No matter how much of a rotten, worthless human being he may be, as soon as he dies, he’ll be swept away by the water.”
“You really are kind, Club President… Wait, dies? Eh?”
“I feel bad for your younger brother. How many funeral offerings should I bring…?” The Steel King smiled.
It was a kind smile, like a blooming flower, and it reflected tranquil feelings.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve already dug a grave for him in the backyard. If I can get rid of him during the rain, the police dogs won’t be able to pick up the smell.”
“What are we talking about?!”
This person actually is trying to give me a BAD END! Looking closely, only the corners of her mouth were making it look like she was smiling. Deep inside the eyes that observed me, I saw nothing but killing intent. Where did that kind King go?
“That man kept blurting out lies, creating disorder in our sanctuary, and even stepped on Tsukiko’s purity. Generosity is no longer an option.”
“He just accidentally saw something! What does that have to do with his purity?!”
“Oh? Aren’t you well-informed, Yokodera. And if my ears aren’t failing me, you’re making it sound like you’re siding with your younger brother.”
“Bahhhh, no no no, it was just a figure of bleach4!”
“Bleach… Yes, you’ll need that once I am done with your younger brother. A perfect idea. He won’t be missed, anyway. He’s such a rotten man, after all.”
‘There actually is, because Younger Brother = Me after all~ Pffft, club president, you’re such an idiot for not realizing that~’
If I said that, the training room would probably rather quickly turn into an execution room. There’s so many things left to do in this world! But how do I get out of this situation?!
“U-Um! I’m not stopping you. Rather, I think I might be able to help you!”
“Hm?”
“Things like these are better done in pairs than alone. Let’s take things slowly and carefully so that we can come up with a smarter, more aggressive, and professional method!! So refrain from action for a bit! Just a moment5!”
“I can’t tell what you’re saying with this Western language…” The Steel King’s eyes turned monochrome, only for her to shake her head. “But if you want to participate in my plan, I’d feel very reassured, Yokodera. Come to my home this evening, and let us increase our knowledge.” She honored me with words full of trust.
—August 31st, 10.30am. Yokodera-kun became an accomplice to a planned murder.
Actually, wouldn’t this just be suicide?
The track-and-field club activities continued even into the afternoon, with only a short break for lunch. It was still raining like crazy outside, so we used the school building’s hallways for everything, from practicing stop & go, catch, ladder training, and even red light green light. The distance between boys and girls during practice shrunk as well, making it feel like the awakening of a love melody. This new and fresh track-and-field club is so much fun!
…What isn’t fun, however, is the fact that since I’m just a tentative club member, I can only participate in the morning.
“Hurry up and go home, pervert. Shoo, shoo, shoo!”
“Could you please not treat me like a stray dog?”
“That would be rude to all the stray dogs out there. A dog wouldn’t impregnate the human next to them.”
“Even I wouldn’t do that!”
The vice president pressed her body against the Steel King. With tears in my eyes, I was forced to watch them from a distance, swallowing my pain. Everybody else at least waved as I left, but the vice president only threw stones.
I returned to my classroom up on the second floor and put my baggy jersey into a plastic bag. I’ll have to return this later. To the Tsutsukakushi Household… to the house haunted by the cat.
“…A cat god, huh?”
It’s true that something had been granted. But I didn’t know what it was. There’s the disappearance of my own house, as well as the cat statue sleeping inside the storehouse. There seems to be some kind of line connecting them, but I’m just having trouble identifying it. Wracking my brain about this, I sat inside the dark classroom, munching on some bread I had bought at the convenience store earlier. Sitting alone on my seat, I felt like a poet in solitude.
“…Lonely…”
Only the rain hitting the windows reached my ears, and my faint whisper disappeared into the room immediately. My time at school looks different during this long break, and when you add the silence of the rainy days, it makes me feel like back when the girl video shop I frequented suddenly closed. Everyone’s experienced something like that before, I’m sure.
Even the groaning and moaning from the girls in the sports clubs couldn’t blow away my pathetic feelings during this rain. Of course, even when I looked down at the sports grounds, nobody was in sight—Huh?
“Heeey! What are you doing?”
A familiar-looking person was crouched down next to the flower bed at the corner of the schoolyard, sheltered from the rain by an umbrella with a familiar-looking design on it; a paper umbrella with large, flowery fireworks. There’s only one person who would use such a mundane thing in this entire high school.
“Oh? The voice is audible but the body isn’t visible! Are you the wind by any chance?”
“Here, Ponta! Look up! Up!” I called as I leaned out of the window.
Ponta put the paper umbrella down on the ground, and after looking all around in grand fashion, he finally looked up at the second floor.
“…Ohhh, Perverted Prince! It’s just as you can see!”
Even though the rain was hitting his face, as if trying to show off the shovel covered in dirt, he wasn’t holding the umbrella any more. The umbrella looked like it was meant to protect something important. The flower bed?
“I’m asking you because I don’t get it! Did you start a hobby of watching flowers grow?”
“Tch tch tch, flying is eight minutes, walking is ten. Even if I take care of them, flowers won’t fill the stomachs of the small children. It’s something more practical.”
“Practical…?”
“Exactly. It’s grass that will make you happy just by breathing it in! Cultivating and harvesting this will be great a way to support children in Africa while saving money.”
“…I don’t really get it, but I feel like I shouldn’t broach the topic any further.”
“Don’t mind it! A life is heavier than earth!” He’s got guts to be able to blurt out disturbing stuff with such a cheerful voice.
Is my childhood friend a terrorist now? Or a hero? I can’t tell.
“The thing is, this is also part of my club activities. Meeting you here is fate caused by transmigration, I say. Why don’t you join my newly-founded club?”
“Huh? But, the club you previously were part of was…”
“The Pursuit of Edo History club, in my spare time that was. But now I’d rather look at the reality in front of me than the past behind me. ‘Make fake love, not fair misfortune’—if you take the initials, you get the ‘Mafia Club6’, which is currently recruiting!”
“I can see a really dark hero in the making!”
With my hands still on the window frame, I gave a bitter smile. In response, Ponta stretched his cheek, only to click his tongue.
“…Listen, just think of this as a helping hand. You’re being bullied at the track-and-field club, right?”
“B-Bullied? Really? The truth is coming out now that I’m being told by someone else!”
“No need to hide it. The rumours are reaching me as well. The girls in the club aren’t even talking to you, and you can’t find any moment to join into the conversation, right?”
“Well, you’re not wrong about that, but…”
“That being said, I’ve also heard that you’ve taken action to forcefully pry open the club president’s mouth and get right into her.”
“That’s wrong!”
I guess I wound up bearing the brunt of all these rumours… I’ll have to eventually settle things with that ponytail of a vice president…
“I ain’t believing it, either. But it’s true that the rumours are getting completely out of hand. Why not leave that club that just puts a label on you and come over here? There have to be other places that can make better use of you, don’t you think?” Ponta continued to click his tongue.
He almost seemed a bit agitated. Almost as if he was angry at my surroundings for me.
“Ponta…”
“So let’s work together on our world-peace activities, Perverted Prince. You’re probably just picking up porn mags at the river bank or gathering DVDs up at the hill with the cedar tree, right?”
“Give me back my gratitude! Though you’re not wrong! Actually, I’m only feeling more motivated to stay in the track-and-field club now. Even if they throw rocks at me.”
I felt like wanting to look back at it all. Even though I kinda deserved that as a pervert.
“Yeah, yeah. Cat hair, that’s the spirit.”
“…Were you trying to cheer me up?”
“Stop that. It gives me the creeps. You don’t have to hurry to join my club. I’m handing out flyers tomorrow at the start-of-term ceremony, so if you change your mind, I can always appreciate a helping hand.” Ponta laughed with a shrug, returning to his work on the flower bed.
The paper umbrella stood out beneath the grey, rainy sky. My breath melted with the rain, and I just watched him walk off. For some reason, his back looked larger than usual. More reliable. Since when did he grow taller than me? Is it because he found something he has to do?
As for me, I feel like I’m dangling in the air as a tentative track-and-field club member. No matter how much time passes, nothing changes, and now that I’ve lost my own home, I’m relying on other people to help me. This is like night and day. No, I guess Tsukiko-chan and the utterly-naked male. Just lining us up gives it a criminal feeling. Man, that sounds kinda cool. While Ponta was busy working his hardest, I was blurting out some cool-sounding nonsense. Hahaha, haha, haaaaaa…
Yet time is moving forward all the same. Unnoticed, the rain came to an end, and the air around me was filled with that 3pm summer heat.
“Fuuu… Huh?”
When I let out my Nth sigh for the day, I heard a ringing sound. When I turned around, I saw that my phone was playing ‘Hush, Little Baby7’ to notify me of an incoming call. It was vibrating, as well. When I accepted the call, I heard a familiar, indifferent voice.
‘…Did you finally change the ringtone? You didn’t? You probably didn’t. Who is little, and who is a baby? If you don’t change it soon, the next person you meet will be my lawyer.’
“H-How did you know?!”
‘Knowing this Perverted Prince, I can figure out anything.’
“That logic is off, don’t you think? Why do I have to change the ringtone? I think it’s a perfect song for someone cute like Tsutsukakushi.”
‘…Cute… or not is not the problem here. Aren’t you embarrassed to keep blurting out things like that? Your words resemble the steamed bun Nee-san made a long time ago.’
“Ohh? And what was inside?”
‘It was completely empty.’
“…That felt like a mystery, a joke, and an insult at the same time. Is it possible that you actually hate me, Tsutsukakushi?”
‘I don’t want to say. Think about it before you ask.’
“I don’t understand. But more importantly, is something up?”
Getting away from our little detour, I jumped right back to the real reason she called me. After that came a long silence, making me wonder if she had actually hung up on me.
‘…Do you have some time right now?’
“Did something happen?”
‘Something troublesome. No, not troublesome, but greatly worrying.’
“Calm down. It’ll be fine, so tell me.”
She spoke with her usual indifferent voice—but something was different. I could tell. Since it was Tsutsukakushi, I could tell. Definitely. Although her voice didn’t go up or down in tone, and it wasn’t shaking in the slightest, it seemed like a scared kitten spoke next.
‘Something weird happened in the storehouse outside my home. I-If you’re okay with it…’
Even though she must have been scared, and confused, she still wanted to check if I could make time for her. Why is she holding back now?
“I’m coming over right now!”
Let me know if there was any other option besides saying that and running out of the school.
*
Apparently, Tsutsukakushi, being the clean freak she is, would always hold a thorough cleaning operation every summer. Every year, she would clean her home at the end of each month. But, since she was unable to clean the entire house every month by herself, she would choose a different location to clean every month. That way, she would know about every little corner of her home, which was something she took pride in.
This month was when she would clean the hallways and the storehouse. Naturally, that meant that the storehouse with the enshrined Cat God was under Tsutsukakushi’s influence… or so it should have been.
“It’s full of weird things. I’ve never seen any of this.”
Up until I stepped onto the bus, she told me the vague details. When I stepped off the bus stop closest to the Tsutsukakushi Household, Tsutsukakushi was holding an umbrella above her head. She was wearing a Sanrio8 character t-shirt with denim shorts. Even though the style looked completely natural, since she was mid-cleaning, it looked cute enough for her to win the Japan-wide casual clothes contest in the grade school category. Seriously, no matter what she wears, everything suits her.
Her gaze, resembling a queen of ice, cut right through the rain, entrancing me. She held out one hand and nodded.
“…………”
Uttering no word, she just grabbed the hem of my shirt.
“Tsu… Tsutsukakushi?”
Even after I called out her name, her face was cast downward beneath the umbrella, showing no reaction. Her long eyelashes were slightly vibrating, her slender shoulders going up and down, if only barely. Like this, she started walking down the small path.
…This makes it look like she just woke up from a nightmare and is trying to confirm that she’s back in her own world… and she’s relying on me for it? The moment I came to that conclusion, I felt happy.
Well, that might be a misleading statement. It’d make me seem like the worst kind of man to be happy to see a girl showing weakness. That’s just unforgivable, right? I just heard the voice of the devil whispering ‘Use this chance to get on the Onii-chan route. Muahaha!’, that’s all.
“…Don’t worry. I’m here with you.”
I forced the devil on my shoulder to turn into an angel and gently patted Tsutsukakushi on the shoulder, giving her a kind smile.
You’re like an angel, Senpai…
No, this is nothing special.
Why is that?
Because I’m your older brother.
Senpai…
Tsutsukakushi…
Huuuuuuuuug!
Alright, I can already see the Onii-chan End and the choices ahead of me!
By the time we made it to the Tsutsukakushi Household’s gate, Tsutsukakushi had finally raised her head. As if none of the previous events had happened, she pulled away her hand and opened the entrance door.
“I’m sorry that you came all the way out here. Are you fine with this time-wise, Perverted Prince-san?”
“No no, it’s all fine… Hm?”
“It might be a bit difficult to explain what’s happening inside the storehouse, but once you take a good look at it, I’m sure you’ll understand, Perverted Prince-san.”
“Eh, um…”
“I’ll guide you. Ah, that reminds me, where did you sleep last night, Perverted Prince-san? I’ve been searching for you, Perverted Prince-san.”
“H-Hold on a second!”
Taking off my shoes, I quickly chased after the small back that had rushed down the hallway. Though I was curious to find out what was going on in the storehouse, before anything else I needed to figure out why Tsutsukakushi’s mood had suddenly changed.
“Aren’t you addressing me in a weird way? Why aren’t you calling me ‘Senpai’ anymore?”
“Is that so? I never noticed. How careless of me, Perverted Prince-san.”
“I feel more ill-intent than carelessness in that statement!”
We lined up next to the other, and I protested along the way. What kind of treatment is she giving her prince on a white horse? Upon hearing my complaints, Tsutsukakushi looked at me, clearly indicating that she had more to say. I felt strong pressure and gravitational pull coming from her eyes. I managed to keep my gaze locked onto hers, and she eventually averted her gaze.
“…Then, what if, Senpai… Let’s assume there’s a 15-year old highschool girl…”
“Ohh? What about her face? Style? If her hobby is being a nude model, then she might be quite charming.”
“An example like this doesn’t need any details. Do you like lewd girls? That won’t do. No. Anyway, this girl is currently changing at a swimsuit shop, but a certain male high school student opens the curtains and peeks inside.”
“That sure turned into a crime pretty fast.”
“Though things somehow worked out there, after a while the male student now shows off his naked body to the high school girl.”
“H-He’s a pervert!”
“On top of that, he said that they were even now, and further said that the girl should get naked again.”
“He’s the worst!”
“That night, just as he had said, the boy stared right at the girl right as she came out of the bath. What do you think of this person?”
“That’s clearly three strikes and an out there! Just who is that guy?!”
“It’s Senpai.”
“W-What did you say?! We were talking about me? I’ve been a pervert all along?!”
“I’m glad that we’ve arrived at a mutual understanding, Pervert-san. You’ve embarrassed me countless times now. Don’t ever talk to me again,” Pointing with her finger at me, Tsutsukakushi averted her gaze.
Almost like an ultimatum on the final night before the battle. I tried apologizing quickly, but no response came. I myself had chalked last night’s incident as a once-in-a-lifetime experience, stashing it away in my memory album, but I was too careless.
As we walked down the hallway to the storehouse, I couldn’t raise my head. Tsutsukakushi just walked straight ahead of me, looking like she truly was angry from the bottom of her heart. I wonder… where my Onii-chan route has gone…
“…That was a joke.”
“…Eh?”
“Come on. Don’t make a face like that. I know that you’re a pervert through and through, Senpai, so I won’t get angry over something like this.” Tsutsukakushi came to a stop, gazing at me with a tranquil gaze.
She shook her head left and right. Her tail-hair flipped around like a cat trying to hold back its joy.
“C-Can you not insult me like that? I totally thought you hated me, Tsutsukakushi!”
“Then I wouldn’t have called you. Really, thank you very much for coming.”
“No problem. Though I would have appreciated it if you didn’t scare me like that…”
“It’s true that I was embarrassed, so I wanted you to reflect on it a bit. Also, you were acting so cool that I felt like teasing you.”
What kind of complicated maiden’s heart is that? Is this bullying? Is this a bullying sister who won’t allow me my status as her Onii-chan? But, I felt relieved to know that she didn’t hate me, and I laughed a bit. It just feels comfortable to be here, like this was the place I belonged. I can’t even compare it to the track-whatever-ever club.
“But the next time you peek on me, I really will get angry.”
“…I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
Feeling like a perverted vampire having a stake driven into his heart, I made the most heartfelt apology possible. When you think about it, she even forgave me for doing it a second time… She’s pretty tolerant. Then again, if you touch the Buddha’s face three times he’ll get annoyed, or something like that, right? Tsukiko-chan really is a goddess.
I entered the storehouse right after Tsutsukakushi and was once again overwhelmed by the giant cat statue towering over me. Then again, it wasn’t as bad as the night before. Though it was still raining just as much, seeing things at different times of the day really changes the atmosphere quite a lot. Though the storehouse was still dimly lit, a small light was dangling from the ceiling. Thanks to that, I could finally see all the objects that had obstructed my path previously.
“So that’s why I felt like I could barely walk…”
When I took a closer look, I saw that a shelf nearby had been kept tidy and in order. There were antique vases and wicker laundry hampers with vintage items, broken oil lamps, and long-lasting paintwork. Basically, to sum it up, only things that had absolutely no use in current society were being stored here.
But along with that, it looked like a giant toybox had been flipped over, scattering furniture, books, vases, bikes, and much more absolutely everywhere. Things were still tolerable in the area around the entrance, but towards the back, so many strange and unfamiliar objects had been thrown there that they could almost reach the third floor. Just when you thought things were all nice and tidy, a mountain of garbage appeared directly in front of you. It made sense that Tsutsukakushi had been so shaken.
“I don’t even know what half of these things are. Something creepy just fell down, and…” Tsutsukakushi gingerly crouched down and picked up a suspicious DVD package, looking at it anxiously.
And then she looked up at me, clearly asking me for help. Sometimes I have to act like a reliable guy. I pushed my way through the ground like a tough guy character written by Raymon Chandler9, overseeing the situation below me like a cool guy character written by Conan Doyle10.
Oddly enough, I didn’t feel scared at all. If anything, I was oddly calm. It felt like I was looking through my own personal belongings. A slanted bed. An inverted bookshelf. A dresser with its contents shaken around. Every single item around felt so nostalgic, like it was familiar to me—
“Huh…?”
“Senpai. Did you figure something out?”
“Well… a bit…”
When I realized what was going on, a cold sweat ran down my back, making me shiver. All the blood drained from my body. With quivering fingertips, I pointed and spoke. No matter how many times I looked, the results didn’t change. When I sat down on the nearby bed, a familiar feeling washed over me—
“…This bed is mine. This is my room.”
“…Eh?”
“All of these things should have been in my house. Those clothes, that flower vase, this furniture, everything.”
The house I thought I lost had been moved to this storehouse. I instinctually glanced at the cat statue. But the giant Stony Cat was wearing an expressionless face as always at it looked down at me.
‘A chisel and log had been summoned to the storehouse.’
The words the Steel King had said came flying back to mind. She had wished to make up with her little sister, and had received the tools to do so. A few years passed, and now we had arrived at the present. What was summoned to the storehouse this time… was my house. It never fully vanished at all.
“So your things were moved here, Senpai…” Tsutsukakushi muttered.
As if making sure, or making the assumption. She shook her head countless times, opening her mouth only to close it and shake her head again.
“Setting aside logic and all that, there’s something that is a bit of a problem that I’d like to talk about.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you that there were several creepy, disgusting things in here, right?” Still crouched down on the floor, Tsutsukakushi turned towards me as if I were the cause of all of this.
She was holding the corner of a DVD between her fingers, and she shook it at me.
“‘Breasts everywhere three hours endurance video ~ Ahh, this lovely mountain range~’ is what we have here.”
“?!”
“‘Burn this poor valley to nothing! Declaration of the big bridge through Japan!’, ‘Street corner marshmallow visit diary 3’, ‘Continued: 100 asked. The right way to grow some delicious melons’, ‘The Perverted King and bursting chest’… Senpai, these are all yours then? I see.”
“Wha? Eh? Uhh!”
“I knew it. So you like big breasts. It’s not like I expected anything else from such a pervert.”
Tsutsukakushi continued to read aloud various DVD titles with a cold voice, throwing each disk away once she was done.
“Gyaaaaa, not my treasured goods! I know that the titles might sound a bit concerning, but they’re all famous works! I-It’s like this! Even Oscar Wilde said that ‘There is no such thing as moral or immoral. Things are just interesting or not. That is all.’11 It’s that sort of thing, you know!”
“And everything so far is not interesting to me at all.”
“Ugh…”
It was Oscar Wilde-san’s failure. Is there nothing else you have to say about this, Master?! Work some more! No, wait, that’s not what’s important right now!
“L-let’s stop this, Tsutsukakushi! I call a truce! You shouldn’t be looking at things like this!”
“Is that so? Spoken like a true pervert.”
“Please forgive me! No more stabbing me! My most private places are being sullied!”
“Is that so? Spoken like a true pervert.”
“More importantly, let’s focus on the storehouse! That mysterious phenomenon! What happened here?!”
“Is that so? Spoken like a true pervert,” Tsutsukakushi-san had already shut out any noise from outside and was now repeating herself in a loop.
At least listen to me!
“Urk… Also, I got these DVDs a long time ago, so my current tastes are different…”
“Is that so? Spoken like a true pervert. By the way, how have your tastes changed from before?”
“…Huh?”
She got out of the loop in a weird place. Is she at that age where she’s interested in this sort of thing?
“Well, I used to only place value on the top, but now I believe the difference between the top and the bottom is more important.”
“I see that you like people with big breasts over anything. I knew it already, but you truly are a pervert.”
“W-Why are you throwing the disks away even faster now?! They’ll break! My heart will break, too, so please stop!”
“Is my Nee-san your ideal size, then? Is that so? I’ll have to tell her.”
“Do you want me dead or something?! It’s true that her chest is actually quite amazing to watch, but… No, wait, that’s not what we’re talking about here—”
“Hmm, what an interesting comment that was. But now you need to just go ahead and die.”
“…?!”
I heard the handle of the storehouse door creaking. A creak that ignored any laws of physics. A creak like flames scattering underneath the door. Hey, Dad, what is that? That is the son of the Demon Lord. With killing intent made of steel and fists made of iron, standing there was the Steel King herself.
“S-S-S-S-S-Since when were you—?!”
“Since around the time you forced my cute Tsukiko to read those grotesque titles out loud. Just when she was taking care of the house, this awful mess happened. If I hadn’t found the note that Tsukiko left me and rushed here, what kind of actions would you have indulged in?”
“T-This is a misunderstanding! It wasn’t on purpose! It was a higher force!”
“Shut up. Go die in a fire. Your sins have crossed the threshold of what is allowable in this world. Killing all crows in this world would still not be enough of a sacrifice.”
Her eyes were boiling with killing intent on the verge of insanity, and she slowly but steadily approached me. Her right hand was readied as a weapon. I spun in place and made a giant leap. The hammer punch grazed the back of my head from a hair’s-breadth away. I toppled sideways over books and on top of curtains. The second and third fist approached me. Grazed. Grazed. Grazed. Grazed. I’m saved. No, I’m not. This really hurts. This might be the day I get buried in that ready-to-go grave she prepared.
Now that it’s come to this—
Rolling around through the wreckage of my house, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“Woaaaah! There’s a closet here! Th-That reminds me, I heard that closets possess certain special abilities!”
“…Special abilities? Wow, this thought stimulates my heart… No, it’s like a weird resonance.”
“If you enter a closet made for clothes, you apparently can be sent to the fourth dimension! It’s an important item that every hero has!”
“Don’t underestimate me. Did you think I would fall for such nonsense? In the books I read in the past, it said that it would bring you to the world of the lion king. Not a fourth dimension, but the world of novels… Hmm, so this closet is…”
She took the bait! In the opening I was given by the Steel King’s naivety, I dove right into the empty closet. It was barely enough space for me to fit inside, but I closed the double-doors. Right after that, the Steel King’s fist ran right into the wood.
“Bastard! Do you actually plan to go to that country?!”
“Y-Yeah, that’s right. We’ll meet again, King!”
“Urk! Amazing! But how despicable…!”
From the sounds of it, she was serious. Feeling fear induced by the creaking of the door, I took off the cardboard hung on the inside wall. Since the mother of the Yokodera Household was the type of person who would take good care of things and keep them for far too long, she would keep things even if they had holes in them. She’d repair them to the best of her ability with tape or cardboard, and this closet had a gaping hole in the back. Using this hole, I escaped outside the closet.
“Ah.”
“Eh?”
Only to then run into the King, who had made her way around to the back of the closet.
“…W-What about the warp…?” Her voice dropped drastically in tone.
This King… No, this child looked like she had been betrayed. A painful silence filled the room, with me being the first one to break it.
Cough cough, I cleared my throat.
“C-Club president! I’m sorry! It looks like my younger brother made a mess again…”
“Hm? Hmm? You are… the actual Yokodera?”
Watching me as I collapsed to the ground, the Steel King’s eyes blinked several times. Naturally, even after she opened the closet door behind me, nobody was inside.
“U-Um… just as I promised this morning during track-and-field, I thought about how to do that to my younger brother, but he made a counterattack, and I was forced to stay inside the storehouse until now. My younger brother used the power of the closet to escape, too. Dang it…” I drooped my shoulders in defeat, crying sorrowfully.
Feast your eyes upon the acting talent of someone who has played the tree at his school’s theatre for six whole years!
“Mmm… No, but… Mmm…” The Steel King seemed lost in thought like Socrates. She eventually tapped me on the shoulder with a relieved expression on her face. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong. Still, there are so many unexplainable things in this world… So this is the gate to Narnia… Fufu.” She observed the closet for a bit and finally nodded in a gesture of admiration.
Her eyes beneath her longer eyelashes were now sparkling with interest. I hope she’s just the way she is now when she grows up.
“…This is bad in a lot of ways. For both Senpai and Nee-san.”
“I agree with you, Tsutsukakushi. We have to look after our older sister.”
“That was only half of what I wanted to say, though.”
A quiet voice reached us from one side of the storehouse. The only spectator of this third-rate drama sat down on the floor. And then Steel-san suddenly stopped nodding.
“Hm? Wait a second. Something is weird.” She carefully ran her gaze along my body.
“W-What is it? I’m innocent, pure, and definitely not weird!”
“Yes, you are not. What was weird was the younger Yokodera brother. He was wearing the track-and-field club’s jersey… The exact one you are wearing right now…”
“W-W-W-Who cares about small details like that?!”
“I guess I can turn a blind eye to that… But, something bothers me about it. It’s like there is a great secret being kept from me.”
Urk… the King is trying to open the door to the truth. I mean, I’m still surprised that I’ve managed to deceive her so far. Now that it’s come to this, I’ll have to use my secret ace in the hole—Save me, Tsukiko-chan!
“Why are you looking at Tsukiko with such an expectant gaze?”
Right that instant, the Steel King’s heavy voice spoke again. She really is sharp only when her little sister is involved.
“Wait, does Tsukiko know anything about this, by any chance?”
“No no no! That is probably because… I met Tsuki—Your little sister for the first time! She’s just so cute that I had trouble breathing!”
“Eh?”
“I see, that’s how it is! You have a good eye, Yokodera!”
Satisfied with my answer, the King gave me a firm handshake. Tsukiko-chan must have some kind of crazy power. She made the King completely forget about the closet to Narnia.
But, as for the Tsutsukakushi in question, who clearly couldn’t see any correlation between the two topics, I could feel her passionate gaze crawling along my skin. That being said, stopping here wasn’t an option. After all…
“But just praising her with superficial feelings would be humiliation to Tsukiko. You surely don’t plan on doing so, right?”
“O-Of course not. I am deeply moved by the beauty of your little sister. It’s something that would even make the most magnificent flower feel shame!”
“Then if you were to statistically define Tsukiko’s cuteness?”
“If you took random samples out of the six billion people living on earth and conducted a double-blind investigation, she would top the charts with her cuteness!”
“What if you were to logically try to back her cuteness?”
“If ‘Your little sister is cute’ is regarded as truth, then equally ‘All cute girls in the world are definitely little sisters’ is a true statement. If you add a tautology12 to this statement, we come to the conclusion that your little sister is cute!”
“What if you were to explain her cuteness in track-and-field terms?”
“The man who has grown wings, Sergey Bubka13! The man with the beautiful body, Ben Johnson!”
The Steel King showered me with questions, forcing me to constantly explain how cute Tsukiko-chan is.
“It seems we’re a good match. I wholeheartedly agree. Tsukiko should be regarded as a cultural property of Japan.”
“We should create a special homepage for her so that the whole world can see her!”
“Internet and technology, huh. I don’t know much about that field, so I will leave that to you. I’ll start by having the local newspaper start printing articles and pictures about her…”
And so on.
While the two of us were busy praising Tsutsukakushi above and beyond all sense of reason, the person in question swiftly escaped. She probably couldn’t take being praised like that any longer. I finally managed to scare away the person who knew the truth! I win!
…But it feels weird. Why did I start treating my precious Kouhai like she was a bother? I really don’t feel like I’ve won.
“Tsukiko really isn’t back to normal yet. Damn this cat statue. When will it ever learn? So, um… what were we talking about?” The Steel King watched Tsukiko, only to tilt her head in confusion.
“I was saying that my little brother truly is unbelievable. I’m here because you asked me to come, after all!”
“Ahh, that’s right. Let’s start our Younger Yokodera Brother Countermeasures Strategy Meeting. You may come to my room.”
“A-Are you sure?”
“Why are you so nervous? Having a serious talk in an environment like this is not doable. Things have gotten chaotic in here, after all. I do remember it being much cleaner a few years back, though.”
“…So you haven’t come in here for a while?”
“It seems so. I hate this place.”
The King shrugged and made her way back towards the main house. Though I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my house—or the contents of it, rather—in that storehouse, explaining it to her would only make things more complicated. Hence, I followed her like a spot-billed duck, but then I suddenly realized something.
The King never once had looked at the giant cat statue. She was always averting her gaze from it. As if she was trying to deliberately ignore it.
*
The King’s room was located on the east side of the building, facing the back yard. Apparently, Tsutsukakushi’s room was right next to hers, but it was tightly closed by a slightly inclined door, not giving me any chance to see what she was up to. Either way, the King’s room itself was bigger than the living room in my own house.
“A pure Japanese room…”
It felt like I was visiting my grandma in the countryside. Just like all the other rooms I’d seen before, the floor was covered in tatami mats. The soft quality of common rush gave it a different feeling from my own home. It made me feel the difference of Japan’s economy as of late.
“What are you looking around for? It’s not like there’s anything weird in here, right?”
“The entire room being Japanese-styled is weird in and of itself.”
“Is that so? You’re the first person I’ve invited to my room, so I wouldn’t know.” The Steel King stood still in the center of the room, letting out a giggle.
Truthfully speaking, nothing was particularly weird about this room. Then again, there was barely anything in this room to begin with. A low dining table, floor cushions, a closet, an electric fan, and picture stands. That was about it. If you put it in good terms, you could say the room was simple, but you could also say that it looked like somewhere a murder had happened long ago. I really don’t think this is what a girl’s room normally looks like. Not that I would know, since I’d never actually seen one before. I can only compare it to the rooms I’d seen on TV. Legal TV, of course.
“Wait, what are you doing?!”
Before I could think of anything to say, the Steel King started taking off her track-and-field club’s jersey with no hesitation whatsoever. With this, she revealed her pure-white shirt beneath that. Only some thin fabric was between me and my dreamy romance of the two bulges beneath it.
So this is how it’s going to end up, after all! What follows next will have to rely purely on my own luck and skill, as no book on how to conquer women will help me! Everyone on this planet, please lend me your strength!
“Hm? Ah, don’t mind me. I just forgot to change when I came home.”
“C-Change…! I-I see… No, wait! Even if you say ‘Don’t mind me’, I can’t just ignore you like that! You’re in front of a boy, you know!”
“Haha, it’s not like I’m stripping naked, right? Though, underwear wouldn’t be too much of a problem, either..”
“You still sound rather relaxed about this! Also, once you take off that shirt, basically only your underwear will be left!”
“Even if I was just wearing underwear, there’s nobody here that would cause that to be a problem, right?” Said the Steel King, wearing nothing but a single shirt, as she opened the nearby closet.
I could see seductive lines of sweat on her back. There’s someone right here who definitely could do something weird! But it’s not like I could say that, right? The Steel King puts a ridiculous amount of trust in her club members. She’s way too careless. It’s not going to take long before some pervert attempts to assault her.
“See, I’ve changed. Now you can’t complain any longer.”
“I don’t think I can complain! All I feel is gratitude!”
“Hm. Sometimes I don’t really get what you’re saying,” The Steel King narrowed her eyes, putting her hand on the hip… of her jersey.
I guess she just wanted to change into a different jersey than the one she uses for the track-and-field club. I wonder how many she has!
“Jerseys have a lot of elasticity, durability, are good against humidity, and are comfortable to wear during sports, at home, and while sleeping. They are universal for both you and I. I wouldn’t mind entrusting you with an old one of mine.”
“I want it! But the reason for that is a bit iffy, so I’ll have to decline.”
“Hmmm. You are a profound man at times, Yokodera. This is such a vast difference between you and your younger brother… Ahh, that’s right. We wanted to talk about him.”
“Before that, could you do something about the clothes you took off and just threw to the side?”
“Don’t worry. They’ll eventually make their way to the washing machine.”
“Why do you make it sound like it’s not your problem? Can your jersey walk or something?”
“If I leave it there, Tsukiko will take care of it.” The Steel King said with pure confidence in her voice.
…Seriously? How old are you again? Nowadays even grade school students know how to take care of their clothes. Clean your own room, alright?
“What kind of face are you making? If you wish to praise Tsukiko’s devotion, feel free.”
“If anything, I’d rather blame you. I am indeed praising your little sister, though!”
“Very well. Tsukiko really is doing well. It’s been like this ever since we were young.”
“I see that only half of what I wanted to tell you got through.”
What great skill she has to completely ignore anything said about her that isn’t positive or constructive criticism. I mean, it’s not like it matters… I’m not a perfect human being, either.
“I know Tsukiko must have gone through some hard times as well, but she never once complained. She really is a strong girl.” The Steel King sat down on a floor cushion that faced her guest and stared into the air as she grew reminiscent.
Words I previously heard came gushing back into my head.
“…I heard that your little sister doesn’t have many memories of her father.”
“I figured. Our father died when she was three, and our mother when she was five. Our grandparents on our father’s side both passed away before that as well, and our grandparents on our mother’s side have a lot of problems, and they live in Europe. Though we have relatives who live nearby, it’s mostly always been the two of us living together by ourselves. Sadly, I could neither become a mother nor a father for her.” The Steel King spoke with frustration and regret.
She smiled with clear eyes, as if she were blaming herself. The person across the tea table suddenly looked like she was in a different world, making me want to rub my eyes.
“But, whatever I say, Tsukiko still cleans for me, cooks food for me, and massages me… Though she still doesn’t let us sleep together. Recently, I’ve been wondering if I’ve forced too much on her.”
“Then why don’t you start by taking care of your own clothes?”
“Hm? I don’t get it. Can you explain it in easier terms?”
“Take care of yourself!”
“I do think I’m working hard for both Tsukiko’s and my own sake. But all I can do is take care of her development records.”
“I feel like we’re talking past each other, aren’t we?”
And just what do you mean by ‘development records?’ Was the face Steel King made just now an optical illusion? The Steel King looked through a small box on the table, taking out a silver key ring. She shook it two times, three times, and then closed it again.
“This is the key to my secret room. Keep this a secret from Tsukiko, okay?”
“A secret room?”
“Indeed. Above this room’s ceiling there’s a mezzanine floor for hiding people. Maybe it’s left over from the great war. If you unlock the door in the upper part of the closet, you can get access to it. Even though Tsukiko cleans this room, she shouldn’t know of it. I keep the development records there.”
“Why would you…?”
“Tsukiko always cleans every little corner of my room whenever it’s time to clean, and she’d throw all that away if I kept it in here. For example, ever since Tsukiko was five, I’ve filmed her sleeping face and stored it there.”
“If you weren’t sisters, that’d be a crime for sure.”
“There’s also pictures of her on the toilet. Also from when she was five up until now.”
“That’s a crime even when you’re sisters!”
“It’s fine. If it’s for Tsukiko’s sake, I don’t fear anything!”
“That’s totally the kind of logic a criminal would use!”
The Steel King looked like a fanatic as she prayed to the sky above her. Tsutsukakushi must have had it rough. She must have suffered through this treatment ever since she was young… I guess she’d be more tolerant about such things, then? I feel like crying now.
“One day I’ll rewrite Japan’s laws and invite you to my marriage ceremony with Tsukiko, Yokodera. Your job will be playing all those videos during the ceremony. Tsukiko’s cuteness will cross the boundaries of human civilization, creating global empathy.”
“I can only see it causing global panic! Your love is a bit too heavy, Club President!”
“Hm… It’s fairly light right now, I believe. I just think about Tsukiko 24/7, that’s all.”
“Those clingy feelings are exactly what’s heavy!”
“……”
The Steel King closed her mouth, glaring at me with a stern gaze. Now that I think about it, this whole topic was a landmine. At this rate, things are going to turn out very bad (mostly for the life of the poor Yokodera-kun).
“I’m scared,” The King muttered.
It was a quiet voice that I could barely pick up, so there was quite a delay between her saying it and my response.
“…Scared?”
“…Scared. Scared of separating from others. Scared that other people might leave me. Scared of living alone in this place. I’ve lost too much already…”
With movement like a child’s, she grabbed her shirt collar, pulling it upwards. As if she felt embarrassed at her own words, she covered half her face with the shirt as she kept mumbling.
“That’s why this isn’t heavy at all… Not heavy at all…”
Her eyes, which she directed away from me and looked at the tatami mats with, were sky blue just like her little sister’s. Like the color of a puddle left behind after rain cleared up, like it was about to disappear.
“C-Club President… I’ve said too much. There’s a lot of different kinds of love, so please cheer up.” I almost felt like patting her on the head.
It’s not like I had the guts to do that, so I just tried to comfort her. Saying words that make it seem like I understand everything is what I excel at the most.
After staying like this for a moment, the Steel King giggled and looked at me.
“Fufu, to think I was comforted by Yokodera.”
“No, well, I’m sorry…”
“Indeed, thank you. The day when it ended up with just Tsukiko and I, I swore that I would face everything in our way with my own strength. Whether it be this family, or Tsukiko. I won’t lose against anything.” Her usual strength and confidence had returned to her voice.
Like the mane of a proud lion, her ponytail shook as she turned around.
“—So! We have to bring death upon the head of the younger Yokodera brother who continues to defile Tsukiko!”
“So that’s how we get back on topic, huh?!”
“First, we’ll have him sit on a thousand needles. Next, we’ll rip off his entire skin. And then, some boiling water…”
“Eeek!”
I’m hearing some really painful torture methods that I’ll probably be dying from soon. How can people be this cruel? My heart is going arrhythmic at the thought of it. In the sense of a fight-or-flight survival instinct, of course. Mostly flight.
“Though we’ve come to a standstill when it comes to drawing him out, the instant I run into him next, I’ll just have to smash the back of his head in with a blunt weapon. Alright, that’ll be all for today. I pray for your safety.”
“W-Wait! Wait just a second!” I desperately clung to the King, who had stood up to leave.
“…What? You don’t mean to cover for him this late into the game, do you?”
“N-Not at all, never in a million years! I just think that there’s a gaping hole in this plan!”
“Oh? What is that? The actual plan should be sealed off to anyone but the two of us.”
The person in question already knows about this plot, for one! But, since the Steel King was already glaring down at me, I had no other choice but to start making something up. If I didn’t, I would soon be dead meat.
“H-How does your little sister feel about this? It doesn’t seem like she really hates my younger brother that much.”
“…She is being deceived by that man. It is my duty to bring her back to the right path.”
“That’s the problem! If my younger brother disappeared just like that, the feelings she has for him might get even stronger, and she might think that he’s some sort of tragic hero!”
“Hero… That would be not good… and unfair.”
“Right?! First, we have to bring their feelings to a resolution. Maybe we can have her break up with him!”
“Hm? This is the first I’ve heard of anything like this. What’s your idea?”
“Basically, you approach the target, seduce him, and form a schism between the two. Once they’ve become distanced from each other, you can take care of the rest. Skin him, burn him… As long as your little sister isn’t interested in him at all anymore, you can do away with him however you see fit!”
“I don’t know much about seduction, though.”
“Um… Anything is fine, as long as you touch him from up close. I’ve heard that dressing fancy and being kind is effective as well! At least it said so on the package of ‘I am a heart thief at any time!’.”
“…Now that’s interesting. I see, I see.” The Steel King nodded her head in admiration, taking out a notebook, probably to help think up a new plan.
I wonder why she doesn’t direct this passion towards her actual studies. That being said, I’d like to congratulate myself for my quick thinking. I doubt that Tsutsukakushi would easily bend, so I can earn some important time. If I can make it seem as if my younger brother has gone on a trip to space, I will be saved! I can’t fail at this, or I’m dead.
“Then, Club President, let’s take a break for today… We can talk more about this later.”
“Hmm? I am quite reluctant to part, but I understand. I feel like another path has opened for me because of these new measures you’ve told me about. Let’s work hard together until I can safely and effectively remove the younger Yokodera brother from the face of the earth.”
“Yes! But remember, no beating him to death, or she’ll be even more attached to him!” I emphasized this point to her one last time as I stood up.
While I did so, the Steel King had her eyes glued to me.
“Forgive me for asking, but do you have experience with someone in your family dying?”
“…Eh? No, we’re all healthy as can be.”
“I see. I’m sorry. You made it sound like you had experienced this before.”
I watched her as she walked towards a picture frame standing on a nearby dresser. It was an ordinary picture you could see anywhere. A young woman, a young girl, and a baby resting in a carriage. They were all smiling gleefully. It was the perfect symbol of happiness.
“…You can’t always feel or mourn the deceased. But that’s easier said than done. It’s hard to give up emotional attachments to those you’ve lost.”
Without answering her, I stood up. I knew that we were still talking about me being beaten to death. But her sky blue eyes had such a calm, transparent color that I couldn’t say anything lighthearted in response.
—Understanding someone’s feelings in the truest sense is so difficult.
So very difficult. Someone like me, who only pretended like I knew what they were feeling, just couldn’t grasp how the Tsutsukakushi sisters actually felt.
1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Dan-no-ura
2 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taiping_Guangji
3 Musashi is a province in Japan, and a Fudoki is something like the family records for a province.
4 The original doesn’t allow for a proper English translation, so I changed it up a bit.
5 Used almost only English words for this paragraph, hence the Steel King’s reaction
6 This doesn’t work in English at all. In the original it’s ‘Mattou na Fukou yori, Itsuwari no Ai wo’ which roughly translates to ‘Rather than honest misfortune, make fabricated love’.
7 Maybe https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hush,_Little_Baby but judging from the context, probably.
8 Japanese company that designs, licenses, and produces products focusing on cute shit from Japanese culture.
9 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Chandler
10 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Conan_Doyle
11 Altered from the Original: There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. That is all.
12 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tautology_(rhetoric)?oldid=495440233
13 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergey_Bubka
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login