How to Be a Demon King for Dummies - Chapter 2.2

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When I’m officially a demon king, I started my work to find a suitable hero. Normally, others would think that it is the humans that send heroes to defeat the demon king, but nuh-uh that’s a big misunderstanding. It is us the demon king and Co. That has to sit in a boring back aching meetings to choose a hero from the humongous pile sent by the humans. The situation is like a meeting where the board of directors look at the pile of resume and nominate who should be the hero based on their profiles. That is why, now I get to see different kinds of noble demons in the council other than the smiley faces, ah~ it’s such an eye opener.

Looks like my debut is a success, it seems to have frightened a lot of states and resulted in a lot of hero candidates from all the states. All the profiles are sent to us, me and Co. to look at.

“I think the hero from White state looks good for the job”

A lot of seven points are raised, three hundred fifty points total. Does not reach the minimum score, so it’s a no again.

A demon king like me and all the demon chancellors are sitting with dark faces with a strained atmosphere for a number of days already just to choose a hero. Someone suggest to choose a hero first, then the light and sound effects team will go to their house and decorate it to let people know that this person is the chosen hero, then we’ll think the next step after that.

“This plan was already used by the sixth demon king, can we change it to a tournament to find the best-suited hero?” The one eye flabby tummy chancellor suggests, but it was rejected by the finance department which raised a negative point to the idea.

That’s why the meeting never comes to a conclusion. There will always be demons suggesting something all the time if I was a movie producer I would use their fantasy plots to make a wonderful tearing series after breaking news.

I, that is now dozing off from the monotone voice of the demon chancellor of the half fish tribe, was surprised.

“Hey, what are you doing on my lap?”

“Sire, that’s chancellor Mini.” The smiley demon that was standing beside me holding a silver tray whisper this to me before I threw the cat off my lap.

“He’s a chancellor? A cat?” I squinted at the three color fur cat that is curling lazily on my lap again. No matter how I look at it, it’s still a normal cat, or is it a demon cat in disguise? “Hel…Hello chancellor”

“Meow~”

“The chancellor cannot speak Archer sire.” When seeing my gaze, he quickly explains further “Chancellor Mini is a loyal servant of the early demon king sire.”

Wait a sec, this cat would then be so old, equivalent to being my ancestors. This is hard to believe, the three color fur cat glanced at me before trying to squeeze into my shirt pocket. Hey! Your fur is sticking to my shirt, chancellor~

Fighting with the chancellor for a while, in the end, I have to give up to his numerous paw punch that left me spotted all over. I can only sit and listen to the meeting while praying for that time to come faster… My most favorite part of the meeting is here! My peach pie~ but when the smiley demon placed the dessert in front of me, an alarming noise suddenly ring aloud.

“Sire, there is an intruder!” an ear piercing sound came with a loud crash alarming the whole hall. Before I notice the cold wind passing by, the demon that is guarding the door is already in ashes.

“Human!” Someone cried out loudly. Hey, don’t tell me the hero is already here? I haven’t prepared myself. At least let me eat my dessert first. Waa! My dessert is chopped in two.

Let me explain a little. The reason why we know the intruder is human because the most they can do to us demons is hit us and we will turn to ashes, but we won’t die because of this. Wait for a few days or a few weeks, or maybe a few years and we demons will assemble ourselves together automatically. We can only die from old age or when we got attacked by attribute we are vulnerable to. However, this information is exclusive to demons alone, no humans know about this. If they knew about this, they would be totally reluctant to slay a demon king every week, that would be very exhausting. The rest could be read in ‘To live peacefully between clans’, I should get back on the main event right now, my super-looking-forward-to lunch~. No, wait…

“Uwah~” At the moment, the door to the hall is now in pieces, the table that had my peach pie, which will be my lunch for today, on it is also sliced in two. What the hell is happening here?

Before the door that is now in pieces, the council members are all trying to avoid and step back as far away as possible from the ruins, and opening up a path for me to see the scene before me. There’s a person standing upright with a very sharp sword that glinted scarily resting on the shoulder, then the person glanced around the hall.

“Where. Who is the demon king?”

All the council members automatically stepped back in unison. They parted a way for me that is trying to make myself small and invisible as much as possible by squeezing myself into the smiley demons crowd. But those guys left no space for me to squeeze in, even the three color fur cat jumped off my lap quickly and abandoned me with no regret or remorse, even though I tried so hard before this just to shoo it away. These traitor demons. Remember this, I will… write this down!

Before I retired thousand of years later, I would have around six piles of debt account that will not be recouped and it will be useless in the end. *sigh~*

“You’re the demon king?” The shameless person that invaded my castle and chopped my meeting table in two… It’s a premium teak too, boohoo. Not to mention, my lunch is now a mess, my peach pie~. How dare you hurt my peach pie. This is a special lunch menu for the meeting when the chef is in a good mood because his wife is happy!

While I’m cussing with might in my mind, that person pulled down the hood slowly.

In truth… she is a girl that is a little bit older than me, but taller than me by far. Her short bob cut hair is silver like the moon, her eyes are deep blue like the vast ocean, and her skin is so fair and white like milk. Wow~ this person is a princess from fairy tales for sure.

“I bet she is a princess” I mumbled while staring at her gorgeous face. Oh God, I’m sure that if she is a hero, there will be a lot of demons volunteering to be the demon king in my stead.

From all the detailed explanation of her, there is but only one flaw. She kept scanning me with suspicious then spoke with a beautiful melodious tone.

“Someone like you is the demon king? Why is it so different from what I’ve seen?” She grabbed my face and shook it a couple of times seems like she is trying to pry off my mask. Argh! Stop it right now. I’m getting dizzy and my eyes are spinning already. “This is your real face? but think again, no one would spend money to make a face like yours.”

I glared “How dare you, even though I’m not handsome, but I’m still….”

I paused for a long while, trying to think what to say next. I can’t think of anything good that could replace a handsome look. What… The demon king title? That’s the first thing I threw out of my mind because I can’t see until now how is it good.

“I’m still…. a good demon ah.”

She stared at me confusingly before ending the conversation there harshly. “Whatever you maybe, I don’t care. I want the hero number three hundred twenty-two from Roseline State to be the chosen hero.”

Three hundred twenty-two? I and the chancellors looked at the pile of paper in our hands and flipped the page frantically in unison. At this moment, the hall is filled with the sound of page flipping at the same time that it should be written in the history book as a time where the demon king and the chancellors flip pages in unison perfectly.

I flipped the pages till I saw the one she is talking about. This shrimp? Don’t even mention being a hero. The sound of a talkative chancellor gossiped quietly in a silent hall, which makes it loud enough for everyone to hear it.

“Why does it has to be this guy?” I mumbled while glancing at the paper that has a picture of a pale guy that has a dimple on his two cheeks. I tilted my head trying to find some prominent point of this guy… but no matter how much I tried to find it, it seems none existent. Hobby is crochet, dream goal is to marry and have a family with cute kids.

This guy is such a boring person. Why can’t you have a dream goal like… want to save the world kind of thing for me? You’re a hero! A hero should have a high ideology.

While I’m enjoying slandering the shrimp hero, the princess interrupted-

“You have to help me” she doesn’t just say it, she thrust the sword tip in my direction. directly pointing it in front of my face “I don’t take no for an answer.”

“Eek! Calm down calm down princess. Let’s sit down and talk about it.” Well, if I decline her and the sword does not thrust into my head, I would definitely say no, but I don’t want to crumble now. A demon like me, it would take weeks to assemble. Then I will miss my ‘Demon land tour with Red Wolf of legend’ documentary program on Damon Channel for sure. No… I won’t accept this. “Ho…How do you want me to help?”

“You have to capture me as a hostage. He will then be the hero stated in the vow of the fifty-two states made with the Goddess of Darkness and Light”

Ha? What kind of vows did you guys make? Why don’t I know about it? The smiley demon beside me seems to understand my brain capabilities and so explained in a loud and clear voice.

“The vow that the humans made with the Goddess are that if a princess from a state was kidnapped, that state will have to send a hero from there promptly.”

Thank you for your explanation. When it’s time for salary pay at the end of the year I’ll give you a bonus and maybe consider raising your salary. But wait a minute…

“Hey, this guy is the three hundred twenty-something hero. Before it is his turn to rescue you, you want me to deal with the three hundred uhh…” I looked at the numbers again “three hundred twenty heroes?”

“Three hundred and twenty-one sire.” The smiley demon whispers in my ears loudly. Ugh I know I’m weak with numbers, can’t you lower your voice? I’m embarrassed. I won’t raise your salary anymore hmph.

“Then you will have to help me.” The princess demanded firmly “Get rid of those three hundred and twenty-one heroes.”

Oy! Are you crazy? Do you know, a single hero is worth more than my salary for a thousand years! You expect me to kill all those three hundred and twenty-one heroes?! I resign to have your sword thrust me and miss my favorite show is better.

When I turned for help, a smiley demon answered with a monotone.

“If the hero renounces his title, it does not count as violating the vows sire.”

…..explain, please.

“It means that if the hero said that he will not be a hero anymore, it does not mean you hurt him in any way and you don’t need to compensate for it.”

“Good. Now you capture me.” She nodded like she agrees with this “I will be your princess.”

I looked at her and the shrimp hero back and forth then said in a shaky voice.

“but… if I want to capture you, I need the approval from the council.” This time I fling this trouble to the council.

Those chancellors when hearing what I said, flinched. When her deep blue eyes sweep through the bunch, all of them hurriedly took out the ten points and raised it in unison. Such good survival beings. haha

The smiley demon beside me announced loudly “It is a unanimity sire, please make a vow.”

“I, Archer Teil, the twelfth demon king announce that as of now, the princess…” I glanced at her wearily, not to indict anything but she still has the sword pointing at me. You think I won’t be scared? Why don’t you try standing in my place?

She lifts her chin up proudly and spoke with an arrogant tone.

“Alicia from Roseline. The fourth princess from the first wife of the first crown prince.”

What thing are you again? Say it again for me.

I used to think that saying my name and the title is already a waste of time about a quarter of a day, but it seems like her title will take about half a day to finish.

“I announce that as of now, princess Alicia is the chosen princess of the demon king. This vow is effective in the era of Archer Teil the twelfth demon king.”

Finish saying it, a blue streak of lighting then hit the tower. Startling me.

“The vow is complete sire.” another smiley demon said.

Alicia nodded her head pleased and sheathed her sword.

From that day forward, I was written in history as a demon king that captures the princess whole heartily… whole heartily your ghost! Why write it so dramatic? She pressured me to capture her.