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Chapter 12: Saitou-kun’s Research (Reader Warning, Goki-san is coming!) 

(Fraiziar: Goki-san is from Gokiburi which means cockroach)

 

「Nee, please help out with my research too.」

This is the story of the week of nightmares that began with those words.
—Arakawa Kouki’s Perspecitve—

「Nee, please help out with my research too.」(Saitou)

Saitou-kun said to me and Alice-chan as he helped himself to tempura in the school cafeteria. To be honest I thought it was troublesome, but since I helped Alice-chan and all I can’t just refuse. And Alice-chan, who gained splendid results after getting help earlier enthusiastically said 『OK』so I asked Saitou-kun what we should do.

「Well you see, I’d like to make a simple working-robot with AI」(Saitou

Hmm, A working-robot huh…..

Since it’s Saitou-kun, having a feeling he’d want to put to use something like the military power suits, and I asked him a question.

「What kind of shape do you want it to be? Will it be humanoid or tank shaped?」(Kouki)

「No, It’ll be a cockroach you know?」(Saitou)

Wait a bit, what did he just say?

I think I just heard a word that I never wanted to hear, but I probably just heard wrong. Alice-chan’s face also cramped up as she drank her black tea, and I asked again.

「What did you just say?」(Kouki)

「Like I said, it’s going to be a cockroach you know?」(Saitou)

Him telling me so with a smiling face is troublesome.

In the first place, WHY A COCKROACH?!

I could make an unreasonable request as usual and ask for something like tanks from my mother with a simple 『Okaa-san, if you would?』, yet Why is it today you are pointlessly pushing for a such a living creature?

Come on, look! Alice-chan is already in tears.

「For a working-robot I think it’s logical…..」(Saitou)

It’s not a matter of being logical or not!

Why does it have to be modeled after such a disgusting creature?

Alice-chan hates it too, so let’s do something different, okay?

After saying this the normally docile and quiet Saitou-kun snapped.

「FUHII!? disgusting? What’s disgusting?!!

Cockroaches are amazing creatures you know! They have a perfect shape that hasn’t changed for the past 300 million years, they can adapt to any environment!

And among insects they are Top-Class in terms of intelligence you know!?

Depending on the type, not just gliding but some species can actually fly, and they can survive more than 50 days without water!

Their learning ability is high, since they learn to avoid places where they had found poisons, and they also gain resistances to drugs very quickly!

They are perfect! They are certainly the ultimate living creature. furthermore…..」(Saitou)

While making a sidelong glance at Saitou-kun making his fervent speech, Alice-chan spoke while pulling on my clothed.

「What’s up with Saitou-kun?」(Alice)

No, even if you ask me something like that I don’t know.

Certainly, my first impression was that he was a strange person, but recently I’ve thought that was just a misunderstanding.

However seeing this situation, It seems after all he is a strange person….. I insulted cockroaches, but it seems I hurt something inside Saitou-kun.

When I told Alice-chan that, she nodded in agreement.

「Are you two listening? I’m at the best part you know! 」(Saitou)

Is talking for five minutes about wonderfulness of the ecology of cockroaches still not enough?…..

How should I put it, at this point maybe we should nickname him『Cockroach』.

I already understood that the shape of the cockroach is good but, Alice-chan and I will absolutely not be catching the sample.

When I said that,

「Yeah, that’s fine. Since I already『own』one」(Saitou)

Saitou-kun said with an expression that seemed as if what he said was obvious. Fine my ass! Alice-chan is already half-crying!


「After school today, let’s go together and choose the species we will model it after at my house.」(Saitou)

Saitou-kun said with a smile. I wanted to tell him that it was too nasty so I didn’t wanna but I was too scared and could only nod.

 

GasaGasa……(Rustle Rustle) Kata! (Rattle!) KasaKasa…..(Rustle Rustle)

The first thing we notice when we enter Saitou-kun’s room is the breeding case installed on the wall….

And a sound that made us go silent. Alice-chan asked about the state of affairs without entering the room.

「Um, How many bugs are there over there?」(Kouki)

「Right now there are 8 kinds, with a total of 80 insects.」(Saitou)

Saitou-kun joyfully answered my question. And he took one of each out of the case and began explaining.

『Clover Cockroach』『Japanese Cockroach』(Yamato Cockroach)『South American giant German cockroach』….

Though indistinguishable to me, he affectionately called out their names one by one. Not wanting to see any more, I ask if the one he’s holding is okay.

「Yeah That’s what I thought too. After all, the ever popular 『German Cockroach』 is good, isn’t it?」(Saitou)

With a 『 you really understand don’t you!』kind of feeling, Saitou-kun supported my opinion.

Oi, Alice-chan, stop looking at me with that『So you liked cockroaches huh…』face!

I do not like these creatures at all!

 

From the next day onward, we started making the robot in Saitou-kun’s laboratory.

On the first day, the German Cockroach 『Angel-tan』that we brought as a sample went and flew into Alice-chan’s face, and we nearly lost the valuable sample.(Fraiziar: ANGEL-TAN GODAMMNIT MY SIDES)

Afterwards, due to being overly concerned with it’s appearance, we ended up not with a cockroach-shaped work-robot like we had originally planned, but rather a genuine 1 meter long cockroach was born.
When the actual thing moved for the first time, the level of realism made Alice-chan pry herself from behind my back and flee the laboratory with all her strength, the realism was at a level where Saitou-kun was rubbing he cheek against it with affection.

And now, we are hitting a problem.

「What are we going to do about the settings of the AI that we got from Arakawa-kun’s Okaa-san?」(Saitou?)

Saitou-kun opened the program screen and looked at me with a troubled look.

Hm…

Up to this point the robot looks very real, I want to pursue the realism actual thing itself as well….

Saying that, the three of us devoted ourselves to the screen.

And finally, Saitou-kun entered the program to suspend all action in case anything happens『Slipper No. 1』, and it was finished.

 

—-Work-robot Chabane-kun’s Perspective—-

(Fraiziar: Chabane is part of the word for german cockroach)
I am a robot made by my masters.

(Fraiziar: The robot speaks formally, so I almost wanted to make it say 「I doth be a robot made my mine masters」 but I held back. Unless you guys like the idea of a shakespearean robo-roach, I think translating it without the shakespeare is more accurate.)

The programs put inside me are prioritized as follows:

1. The master that is Alice must not be approached. Furthermore, do not attack humans.
2. Clean the interior of the school. Additionally, in the case where this unit can be of assistance to humans, proceed with the assistance.
3. Do not self propagate more than necessary.
4. Make sure to stay out of sight, and not be obvious.
5. Return to the laboratory at fixed intervals.

The above five items are my priorities. To start with, I have decided to settle down in the sewers beneath the school.

And, for the purposes of cleaning the school, I devote my attention to producing more comrades. Retrieving the necessary components from locations such as waste disposal sites, I created additional comrades.

When the number exceeded 400, at night we simultaneously leapt from the manhole covers and began cleaning the academy. During that time, I realized that our cleaning efficiency was insufficient, and therefore performed self-evolution.
One day, after living this life for some time, I encountered humans other than master while collecting garbage! After the human looked in my direction, it left as if nothing had happened.

Was she not surprised I wonder?

Anyways, the school gradually ran out of things to be cleaned.
That’s right, Let’s make that thing called a flower bed that I heard from Master Kouki-sama before. Anything that calls itself human should have their heart set at ease when viewing flowers…….

I decided so, and further produced comrades for the sake of flowerbed production. I worked hard on collecting parts.
—-Kaoru Yamamoto’s Perspective—
「This place is also clean….」

Recently, I’ve been in a good mood because the interior of the academy has been spotless. I’m always preaching the importance of cleaning to the students, but they never listen.

However, at last I came to realize that no matter where I walked throughout the academy, I could not see a single speck of dust.

Furthermore, when I came to the back of the research tower that is usually filled with litter, my train of thought halted as I saw something.
before my eyes, there was a trash bag hanging from the neck of a cockroach standing on two legs.
The meter-long cockroach was packing garbage into the back while walking…..

Due to the lack of any sense of reality, I returned down the path I came from and went home. I must be tired, that’s why I’m seeing such a thing, it must be.

That day I slept soundly, I decided to take a rest day and spend it sleeping. And the next day, when I went to the academy I saw yet another impossible thing.
There were planters filled with flowers made of recycled garbage in the school.
Furthermore, it was arranged in such a way as to not make it seem disgusting, it as if the academy was from a scene in a movie.

Did someone call a contractor?

I went and confirmed that nobody did such a thing.

The staff meeting eventually concluded that it was just student mischief. But would students be able to cover the exterior of the central clock tower?

Thinking that, I looked out the window and saw the same bipedal cockroach walking by whilst holding a planter.
Perhaps I’m still tired…..





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