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Chapter 16

Thus, I told him everything .


About Chako, and also about the others .

 Even though I decided not to choose anything or get involved with anyone, I easily told him .

 Pathetic .
The weak me is pathetic .

 Still, it’s enough .
Enough already .

 I wanted to speak calmly but tears come out as I speak .
I’m not sure if it’s out of sadness or vexation .
The director listened to the emotional me, whose words had become incoherent .
Then, he brings together the hands that he crossed in front of his body, closes his eyes and breathes out slowly .
As if they are trying to endure something, his brows knit tightly while those light blue eyes stare at me .

“I… don’t think turning back time is bad . ”

 The kind voice sinks into my heart .

 … Aah . The director is a kind person .
He’s trying to acknowledge such a pathetic and weak me .

 But he’s wrong .
He’s wrong .

 I’m .
I am――

“No, it was bad to turn back time . This power, didn’t exist to be used in that way… It’s just as Chako said . ――It’s just as Chako said at the beginning . ”

 ”True End,” Chako said as she laughed .
『The Legitimate Ending』 .
That’s right .
It should’ve been that way .

“I should’ve revived Kousuke-kun and ended things there . ”

 In the 1st round .
If, back then .
I had revived Kousuke-kun just like Chako said .

“The more I redo, the more… I become an awful woman . ”

 Things could have ended without me becoming a pathetic and awful woman .

 The tears I temporarily put a dam on, overflow without end .
I no longer feel like stopping them .

“Out of selfishness and calculations, I approached Tomotaka-senpai and raised a transaction to exchange Chako with me…”

 I was the worst .
I knew Tomotaka-senpai was in pain .
The warped senpai . I used him .
And, once Chako disappeared, I immediately turned back time .

 Pretending not to notice the one in pain .

“Even though I knew Kousuke-kun and Tomotaka-senpai were troubled, I ignored that and approached Kuo-sensei . In order to make him like Chako, I instigated Chako a number of times . ”

 I used a person’s feelings of love .

“Knowing that Kuo-sensei wanted to leave behind something, I used that and made him save Chako . ”

 It didn’t matter whether or not sensei and Chako turned out well .
I only wanted『The Strongest Phantom In This World』’s help .
However, it didn’t work .
I turned back time again
“I had Yuusei-kun make me strong and encourage me . Even though I was only pulled along by Yuusei-kun’s strength, I grew conceited that I, myself, became strong . I neglected Chako’s suffering…”

 Using『The Peerless Onmyouji』, I had hopes that I could save her .
That if it’s me, if I became strong, I could save Chako .

“Finally, I thought I could save her, but Chako wouldn’t take my hand… I know, Chako can’t live with such a me… with an awful woman like me . ”

 Chako said it’s fine already .
That it’s fine already .

 I know . An awful woman like me is unsuitable for Chako .
I can’t stay beside Chako, can I .

“That’s why, I don’t want to work hard anymore…”

 That’s right .
I didn’t want to work hard .
I didn’t want to be an awful woman anymore .

“I stopped attending school, and stopped getting involved with others… once I do that, it caused troubles for Father and Mother… I don’t know what I’m doing anymore…”

 Shutting myself in the house, treating Chako coldly .
Causing my parents so much worry .
Despite that, I don’t know what I’m doing .
What am I doing?
What do I want to do?

“I’m so pathetic, and so awful…”

 Once I thought that, a thought entered my head willy-nilly .

“That I became like this all because I met Chako… I should’ve ignored Chako and only thought about my own happiness . ”

 The me who thought like that .
Was the most awful .

“I hate Chako . ”

 Tormenting and tormenting me, then disappearing at the end .

“I hate Chako the most . ”

 Even though I wasn’t satisfied at all, she got satisfied on her own and disappeared with a smile .

“I don’t want to work hard anymore . No more . ”

 Her face as she laughs “Ehehe . ”
Her playful statements that it’s fun to be with Yui-chan .
Her eyes that narrow happily when I call her Chako .

 Everything .
Everything .

“――Even then, I couldn’t give up . ”

 That’s why, I entrust it to you . upport the translations by reading at the translator’s site .

 Please make me give up .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .

 Please get angry at me .
Please, tell me to give up already .

 If you do, I’ll surely give up .

 Even though I’m greedy and bad at giving up, I can give everything up if this person gets angry at me .
If it’s this person, a child of the Priestess of Ominous Clouds and this school’s director who lived for 200 years .
If this person stops me .

 Wanting him to get angry at me .
Wanting him to tell me to give up already, to stop me, I continue to speak .
However, the words that come from the director aren’t any of those .

“I apologise . ”
 Bitterness runs in his kind voice as he extends an apology .
Not understanding why I’m being apologised to, my brows knit tightly .

“I wanted to remain a bystander . ”

 At the strange-sounding word, I look at the director with wet eyes .
Despite his visible pain, the director looks at me gently .

“Even though you were suffering, and I was the one and only person who could notice that…”

 I’ll say it again, I’m projected in his kind, light blue eyes .

“I, don’t think turning back time is bad . ――However, your heart gets tired with that, doesn’t it?”

 Those words resound gently in my heart .

“Not coming true no matter how many times one wishes . You’ve been carrying on like that . ”

 At the director’s words, I think back to the things I’ve done up till now .
I’ve been stepping on the same time for 4 years already .

 Not coming true no matter how many times I wished .
And being rejected by the person in question at the end .

 For what reason had I been doing this?

“… No one, remembers me . Even though we had so much fun, and talked so much . ”

 No matter how close we become, it ends when I turn back time .
The memory of laughing together or the memory of talking face-to-face, they won’t return .

“All the chats I had with Kousuke-kun after class and Tomotaka-senpai’s innocent smile . Kuo-sensei’s warm hand and Yuusei-kun’s sparkling black eyes . ――Even though I know, and remember… However, no one knows about me now . ”

 Once I speak, feelings that even I didn’t notice, come out in the form of words .
… I see . I was tired
“I… even though it was what I chose but…”

 No one asked me to .
I decided on my own, and turned back time .
I knew everyone would forget me .
I knew but…

“Chako messages me sometimes . About the inter-class matches or the midterm tests . That alone connects me with everyone… Messages alone, that I can’t even reply . ”

 What a thin connection .

“As expected, that, hurts a little . ”

 My heart tightens excessively when I put it into words .

 It hurt to be alone .
It was lonely .

“That no one knew about me… That no one remembered my hard work . ”

 I speak the words that surface in my heart along with tears .
Although my words are probably nothing but trouble to the director, he listened till the end with those kind eyes .
Then, he envelops me . [1]
“… I know . ”

 The light blue eyes look at me .

“You’ve been working hard . Right?”

 … Un .
I’m, working hard .
I’m working hard .

“Even now… you’ve always, been working hard . ”
“… Yes . Yes…”

 I’m pathetic .
Even though it was my decision and I did it on my own, I wanted someone to know .
That the me who works hard, exists .

“You may not want to attend school anymore . However, you won’t be able to attend other schools . Because power had been gathered here in order to protect the Priestess of Ominous Clouds . ”
“… Yes . ”
 The director speaks, in consideration of the pathetic me who cried myself out .

“You can’t regain the days you were absent for but, thankfully it’s before the summer break . You can advance as per routine if you take supplementary lessons in summer break . ”

 The director probably did some thinking in order for me, who’d shut myself in while playing truant, to return to a normal life .
He’s pointing out the road to me, who didn’t even think of advancing .

“It will probably be tough for you to go to class so, you can come here . ”
“Here?”
“Yes . It’s just like going to the infirmary . I’ll handle your attendance so you don’t have to worry… It’s fine if you don’t take lessons . You’re probably familiar with them already after all . ”

 The first semester’s midterm test .
I’ve already memorised the questions and answers .
Ah, but, I’ll be taking a supplementary test so it may be slightly different .



“Once you’re a 2nd-year, I can separate your class from those 3 . ”
“… Yes . ”

“With that, you can probably attend school normally . You can spend your school life in a new class and find new friends . ”

 … Can I take him up on that?
Is it okay if I’m the only one living a normal school life?
Can I redo from now?

 I’m enticed by the director’s words .

“What about everyone?”

 Even then, as expected, I’m concerned about this .
Although there’s nothing I can do anymore…
What about Kousuke-kun? What about Tomotaka-senpai? What about Kuo-sensei and Yuusei-kun?

 ――What about Chako?

 Will Chako not disappear?
 Perhaps having read my anxiety, the director goes “It will be fine,” with a smile .
That smile is so gentle .
That I want to renounce everything .

“The one you’re concerned about is, Tomonaga Chako… that child, right?”
“Yes…”
“If I stand by you, the strife between phantoms and onmyouji and the infighting in the onmyouji faction probably won’t happen . I’ve been inactive so far but, I can keep a close eye on them… even then, it’s not definite that something unexpected won’t happen . So if she disappeared again and again, it’s better that I pay close attention this time . ”

 Even if I choose the director .
Is the director truly a neutral party?
However, he has power .
Only, it’s not certain that something won’t happen .
And, with that something as the cause, it’s not definite that Chako won’t disappear .


 The director nods slowly, as though to take away my anxiety .
Then, he says something completely out of expectations .

“We just have to let Tomotaka keep a close eye . ”
“Let senpai?”

 My voice grew loud unconsciously .
Because, senpai is…
It’s not an exaggeration to say the root cause lies with Tomotaka-senpai .
“Yes . Tomotaka seems rather obsessed after all . I’ll make Tomotaka understand his obsession with that child . Then, if I pay attention such that Tomotaka won’t head in a bad direction, I believe Tomotaka will put in effort so that that child doesn’t disappear . ”

 As though to soothe my bafflement, the director continued to speak .

“But… in the 4th round, senpai made Chako strengthen herself to the point where she lost her ego . Even if it’s fine now, won’t it become something that will torment Chako in the end?”

 That’s right .
It may be fine when we’re in high school .
However, as long as Chako’s Tomotaka-senpai’s familiar, isn’t there a chance that her ego will collapse at any time?

 Unable to trust in the director’s proposal, I knit my brows .

“Tomotaka may indeed be a little warped . However, I don’t think he’s so hung up over making his power stronger… Perhaps, the effects of turning back time emerged in the other children too . ”
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .

[1] This sounded weird to me even in Japanese . He didn’t hug her or anything . It’s more emotional/verbal .

“The effects of turning back time?”

 The director shoots his words while thinking a little .
My eyes widen in shock at those words .

“Yes… In the 1st round, Kousuke didn’t like his weak self and sought power from you, right?”
“Yes . ”
 The cheerful Kousuke-kun gradually bottled up his feelings .
He then told me he wanted me to make him strong, and I granted him power .

“Had he sought power from you after that?”
“… No . ”

 That’s right .
After the 1st round, Kousuke-kun did not rely on my power .
Although we were friends in the 2nd round, perhaps thanks to Chako, he’d always been the cheerful Kousuke-kun .
In the 3rd and 4th round, we weren’t friends to begin with so I thought that was the reason but…

“It’s unlikely that he remembers something had happened when he sought for power . However, maybe he had, instinctively, sensed something . That’s what I think . ”
“… I wonder .

 An effect left on Kousuke-kun because time was turned back .
Is there such a thing?
I don’t know .
However, it’s not definite that there isn’t .

“I’m thinking that perhaps the same thing happened to Tomotaka . ”
“To senpai?”
“Yes . Tomotaka is obsessed with that child . You opened Tomotaka’s heart a little in the 2nd round . What about in the 3rd round?”
“In the 3rd round… Kuo-sensei… snatched Chako away from Tomotaka-senpai . ”
 Ending the familiar contract and ceding his body…

 Locking her in .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .
“The familiar contract he thought would last till they die got released… I believe Tomotaka received a considerable amount of shock . Then, in the 4th round, I believe that it went towards a bad direction . ”

 Even if… even if, senpai doesn’t remember, what if he sensed it subconsciously?
Chako disappeared again and again .
Their contract eventually ended and senpai came to know of the Chako that he kept locked within him .
If it’s Tomotaka-senpai, it’s possible that he’d do inhumane acts so that Chako will remain by his side .

“In the 4th round, after that child disappeared, do you remember how Tomotaka was like?”
“After Chako disappeared…”

 How was senpai like, back then?
I tried to recall but I have absolutely no idea .
Because, at that time, being told by Chako that it’s fine already, my head was full of that .

 My heart squeezes in pain again, at what I unintentionally recalled .

“Sorry, I don’t quite recall Tomotaka-senpai’s situation . ”
“No, there’s nothing to apologise for… I wonder what Tomotaka thought after that child disappeared . I hope he clearly understands the consequences of his obsession running amok . ”
 Senpai collapsed Chako’s ego and left her by his side .


I wonder how those days were like .

“Although that child suffered, I believe it was something necessary for Tomotaka . Only… it’s essential that he reflects upon himself plentifully . ”

 The light blue eyes shine momentarily .

“Anyhow, I’ll pay attention such that Tomotaka doesn’t become that way, so don’t worry . I’ll give careful and detailed instructions so that he doesn’t interfere unnecessarily with that child . ”

 The corners of his mouth raise in a smirk as though he’s found something fun .
It feels strange because when it comes to the director, it’s like Tomotaka-senpai is just a roguish kid .
When I stare at the director absent-mindedly, he looks at me with kind eyes again .

“The things you’ve done were not in vain . Surely, something was left in the others’ hearts too . ”

 I wonder .
If Tomotaka-senpai collapsed Chako’s ego because of that, I think it’s too much .
However, if the director says that even that was necessary, that could be the case .

“Because you worked hard again and again, I was able to notice what you did… No, I should’ve spoken to you much earlier . ”

 The director acknowledged me again and again .
Even though I’m so weak .
Even though I’m a pathetic and awful woman . It may be true that Teppei doesn’t have long to live . However, thinking from the standpoint of an ordinary human, it’s only that he’ll pass away slightly earlier[1] . There are many humans who die before they fulfill their ambitions . This is no different . ”

 And, he unburdens my load .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .
“Even if Teppei goes berserk, thankfully, we have Yuusei . If it’s Yuusei, he can probably erase Teppei . It won’t turn into a full-on war between phantoms and onmyouji . The other humans won’t get embroiled and die . ”

 That’s right, isn’t it .
Yuusei-kun will have to erase Kuo-sensei .
There’s a person who will erase him some day and there’s a phantom he will have to erase . [2]
They have to be in the same school .
How would that feel?

“Yuusei knew of Teppei from young . Although the two of them will have to fight some day, they’re living while facing each other properly . It’s fine . ”

 Aah, that’s right . There’s nothing for me to worry about .
Yuusei-kun’s a strong person .
He’ll be fine .

“Although Kousuke may be called a Good-for-Nothing Fox even now, he’s someone who will succeed Teppei . Teppei doesn’t have long . That’s why there’s plenty of expectations for Kousuke to take over as the head of phantoms . Moreover, Kousuke-kun isn’t bound by the boundaries of phantoms or onmyouji, and he’s good at grasping people’s hearts . I believe he’ll be able to do well . ”

 You see, Kousuke-kun .
You aren’t a good-for-nothing, at all .
Everyone has expectations of you . It’s just that you don’t know, Kousuke-kun .
You’re Kuo-sensei’s heir .

 Fu, my laughter leaks out .
Goodness . It will be fine even if I don’t do a thing .
Everyone will live .
I don’t know whether their problems will be resolved but the future may not be completely dark .

“You don’t have to worry about anything . I’ll do the protecting . ”

 The director gazes at me kindly .

 Ah, isn’t it fine already?
It was different from what I thought but the director made me give up .
He showed me a future I don’t have to work hard .

 Everyone will live while facing their own problems .
Whether they are resolved, or not .
Regardless, they’ll live .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .
 ――Only, without me .

 Yes .
Only that .

“Then… do you mind if I ask you something?”

 A final bit .
With this, I’ll truly give up so…
“Do you believe that fate exists, director?”
“… Hmm . Perhaps, the thing called fate does exist . ”
“I thought of something when I tried to turn back time… that Chako will disappear, if I choose something . That there may be a fate like that . ”

 Surely, what I’ve chosen now is the director .
Not choosing anything, not getting involved with anyone .
Although my determination was unsuccessful, if a future like what the director said will happen, I think I’m glad that I chose him .
I want to believe that Chako won’t disappear in this future .
I want to think that fate has changed a little .

“I see… You, think that that child disappears if you choose something . ”
“Yes…”

 The director replies earnestly to even my confusing words .
Then, those light blue eyes stare at me .

“… You may indeed have been making some choice . However, it’s not you who’ve been choosing the fate wherein that child disappears . Isn’t it Tomonaga Chako, that child herself?”
“… Chako?”

 My eyes widen at the unexpected words .

 It’s not my choice .
It’s Chako’s .
Chako, herself, has been choosing the fate wherein she disappears?

“Yes . That child is trying to achieve something by disappearing . Isn’t that why she always disappears?”
 … That could be true .
Chako doesn’t want to remain in this world .
She may want to disappear .

 However…
Perhaps Chako wanted to remain in this world by disappearing .
Through disappearing, she’s trying to achieve something in this world .

 At the sudden thought, the scenery reflected in my eyes become full of colours .

 Chako doesn’t want to disappear .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .
 ――She’s trying to accomplish something .

 Disappearing is the process and not the result .
Chako’s fulfilling her wish by disappearing .

 I wonder what Chako’s wish is .
What had Chako been thinking as she lived?

 I want to talk .
To Chako .

 Ah… what should I do .
I want to give up . I will give up . Even though I was thinking that, but…

 I can’t possibly give up .

“Director…, I…”
 I take a slow breath and stare directly at the director .
The light blue eyes look at me kindly .

 He listened to the words of such a pathetic me .
He showed me a path I can continue living as the pathetic me .
He taught me of a future I can live normally without caring about anything .

“Thank you so much for listening to me . ”

 Although the future which is protected by the director is appealing .
Even then, I, still have something I want to do .
There’s something I have yet to do .

“What’s your wish?”

 A kind arc is drawn at the director’s mouth .
My right hand rubs at both eyes roughly .

 ――My wish is

“To be with everyone . ”

 I don’t want to be alone .

“To laugh with everyone . ”

 I don’t want everyone to not remember me .
“I, too, want to be among everyone . ”

 If they are problems that can be resolved by someone else…
I want to resolve them .
I want to be of help to everyone .

 That’s right . I’m greedy .
I’ve no intention of handing it over to someone other than me .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .
 Precisely because I know that I’m greedy, there’s a wish I can see .
I’ve always been pretending not to see it .
Because I didn’t like such an avaricious me .
However, I knew .
It’s impossible for me to sneakily watch over from the shadows .
Praying for her happiness and retreating valiantly… I can’t do that .

“The one beside Chako… should be me . ”

 What ”I don’t want Chako to disappear” .
What “I want to free Chako” .

 Those were deception .
I’ve been deceiving it’s for Chako’s sake but, it’s all, all for my sake .
 It’s just that, I .

 I, simply want to be beside Chako .

 What a selfish wish .
I’m not considering Chako’s feelings at all .
Even so, that’s my wish .

 When I throw those words frankly, the director laughs as though he finds something strange .
He kindly mutters .

“You were the one who watched and listened to that child most, and the one who knew her best after all . ”

 Un .
There can’t possibly be anyone who watched Chako more than me .

“Surely, you’re the only one who can change that child . ”

 … Will I be able to change her? Me?
Still, I want to change her, I think .
If that’s the condition for standing next to Chako .

“Come here whenever you’re having a hard time . Rest is essential too . ”
“… Thank you very much . ”

 The director’s so kind that my face smiles on its own .
I was happy when you told me I’ve been working hard .
That’s why, I thought that I’ll work hard again, like this .
 Even though I’m so weak .
I’m a pathetic and awful woman .
Even though I’m greedy and bad at giving up .

“Well then, be on your way . ”
“Yes . ”

 I, for my sake .

 I’ll show you that I can attain everything .

“I’ll be heading off . ”

 To that morning .
For the last time .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .

『The Happiness of Living Together』Kamo Tomoyuki route branches .
『Attaining Everything』route has been unlocked .
Support the translations by reading at the translator’s site .

[1] His lifespan may be short for a phantom but it’s just a little below average for a human .
[2] First part is Kuo-sensei while the second part is Yuusei-kun .





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