Chapter 1337: 1337
Chapter 1337: This is what you call a skit!
Translator: Legge Editor: Legge
On TV .
On the screen .
Hundreds of thousands of households were watching the masterful skit actress, Ci Xiufang, whose image had changed from the previous galas she had been in . They were both curious and surprised . This was very refreshing!
…
In the production control room .
Zhang Ye was observing the video monitor wall silently .
Auntie Ci .
I'm leaving this to you .
You must shock the audience .
If Little Hu Die's performance was to increase the topicality of the event, and the "Flying Apsaras" dance was to spread word of mouth among viewers, then "Dance If You Like" was definitely to add to the cheers . This act had to work out like it was meant to!
…
The skit 1 began .
Ci Xiufang was sitting there with nothing to do .
Then an arguing couple appeared .
The man: "Babe, babe, don't be mad!"
The woman: "Stop following me around!"
The man: "Aiya, babe, I'm begging you, please don't be angry!"
The woman: "Aiya, I said stop following me!"
Ci Xiufang: "Hey, hey, hey, go home if you want to argue!"
The man: "Hey, we're talking here . Are we burdening you?"
Ci Xiufang: "Of course you're burdening me . "
The man: "Then I'll burden you today! What can you do? I just want to burden (ài) 2 you! I burden (ài) you! I burden (ài) you! I burden (ài) you! Hmph—"
The audience laughed heartily!
Ci Xiufang looked at the couple . "Hear that, girl?"
The woman came over angrily . "You disgust me!"
The man: "I—aiya, that's not what I meant!"
The audience:
"Hahahaha!"
"Hahahahaha!"
Then a jogging young man arrived .
He was in the middle of exercising and was stretching his back and chest
Ci Xiufang looked straight ahead and produced an item in hands . Tearing the tape loudly, she mimicked the sound of fabric ripping!
The young man was doing some leg stretches when he heard the sound . He was shocked and extremely embarrassed, so he quickly pulled his shirt downwards to cover his pants before running off!
Ci Xiufang said in satisfaction, "Ah, it's finally peaceful . "
Applause rang out!
"Hahaha!"
"How harsh!"
"How devious of Auntie Ci!"
"This is cracking me up!"
"She's driving away anyone who comes by!"
"How wicked, hahahaha!"
At this moment, famous skit actor Lian He came out onstage!
Lian He was not young anymore, and he was very short and skinny . These characteristics of his appearance made him very unique . This skit was the first time that he was working together with Ci Xiufang, so it captured the attention of a lot of the common folk . They were all wondering if there would be any sparks from the debut partnership of these two masterful skit actors!
It was finally time to see if that would happen!
The highlight of the performance was here!
The audience applauded for them!
…
On the stage .
Lian He was carrying a boombox over his shoulder and walking over happily .
Ci Xiufang glanced at him . "Hey, hey, kiddo!"
Lian He was taken aback . "Are you calling for me?"
Upon closer inspection, Ci Xiufang said, "Whoa, this child looks really old!"
Lian He: "Uhh, I'm actually an adult . "
Ci Xiufang sighed, "An embarrassment to adults then! What are you here for?"
Lian He twisted his hips . "I'm here to practice ballroom dancing!"
Ci Xiufang: "Ballroom dancing (guóbiāo)? More like a mouse pointer (shǔbiāo)!"
…
On the other stage, Little Hu Die, who was still twirling around, found it hard to keep a straight face!
A child?
Mouse pointer?
Hahahaha!
I can't take this!
I must not laugh!
Bear with it! I must bear with it!
…
At this point, Lian He turned on the music!
Ci Xiufang, who was sitting in the wheelchair, suddenly removed the blanket covering her legs and marched over to turn off the music before returning to sit down again, all to the shock of Lian He!
Lian He was dumbfounded . "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you can actually stand?"
Ci Xiufang sneered . "Who said I couldn't?"
Lian He: "Then why do you sit in a wheelchair?"
Ci Xiufang: "I want to! I get light-headed whenever I stand! Ah, I feel faint . "
Lian He: "If you feel faint, you can always go back home . "
Ci Xiufang: "Too cold and lonely . "
Lian He: "If that's so, then sit in a more lively place!"
Ci Xiufang: "Too annoying . "
Lian He rolled his eyes . "Hey, old lady, you're even more difficult to please than Empress Dowager Cixi!"
Ci Xiufang looked at him and said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Yo, you've served Cixi before?"
Lian He was dumbfounded . "Ah?"
The audience was stunned for a moment before bursting into laughter!
…
At Zhang Ye's maternal grandma's house .
His grandma was clutching her stomach . "Hahahaha!"
His grandfather was also laughing uncontrollably!
His second sister was slapping the sofa and laughing!
"Aiyo!"
"It's so funny that it's killing me!"
"Served Empress Dowager Cixi before? Hahahahaha!"
"So he's a eunuch then?"
…
On TV .
Lian He was getting anxious . "Hey, big sis, it's like this: I need to take this time to practice for ten minutes . Then I'll be done . "
Ci Xiufang: "You can't . "
Lian He: "Because I agreed with my dance partner to meet here in ten minutes . "
Ci Xiufang: "Yo, someone like you has a dance partner? She's blind, right?"
Lian He: "Seven . I've got seven old ladies hounding me every day, insisting that I be their dance partner . But I refused them all . And all of them are as fair as snow, like princesses!"
Ci Xiufang: "Seven Snow Whites?"
Lian He: "Ah!"
Ci Xiufang looked at him . "And a single dwarf? So it's a fairy tale?"
…
At Old Wu's parents' house .
Wu Mo was cramping up with laughter . "Pfft, hahahaha!"
Li Qinqin was also laughing while covering her mouth . "Wasn't that fairy tale written by Little Ye?"
Even the usually serious Wu Changhe was tickled funny!
Who thought up the script for this skit!
…
On the stage .
Lian He harrumphed . "Looking down on me, are you? Why don't you have a look at what I can do! One and-a, two and-a, three and-a, four and-a . Hey, did you see that? This move, the Spinning Top, that swept the entire community was invented by yours truly! My stage name is Little Top (xiǎo tuóluó)!"
Ci Xiufang: "No wonder I have such an urge to whip 3 you!"
Lian He was speechless .
The audience: "Hahahaha!"
Ci Xiufang: "Let me ask you, Little Radish (xiǎo luóbo) . "
Lian He: "What Little Radish!"
Ci Xiufang: "Little Screw (xiǎo luósī)?"
Lian He: "What Little Screw? It's Little—"
Ci Xiufang: "I know! Little Ostrich (xiǎo tuóniǎo)!"
Lian He said angrily, "Don't try that on me . I'm practicing right here today, what of it? Hai, I don't believe you can stop me!" He then started to sing and dance . "You are my-a small-a, small apple / However much I love you, it'll never be too much—"
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