Chapter 1349
Chapter 1349: 'Selling Crutches' (Second Half)
Translator: Legge Editor: Legge
On TV .
Confused, Yao Jiancai parked his bicycle and walked over . "Hmm? What's going on? Who's abducting (guǎi mài) you?"
Dong Shanshan said clumsily, "No one, his crutches are for sale (guǎi mài) . "
Yao Jiancai looked at him . "You want to abduct (guǎi mài) people?"
The audience laughed, "Hahahaha!"
Zhang Ye glared at him . "Are you blind? Abduct? If I want to abduct, would I abduct someone like her? Would you buy her off me?!"
Dong Shanshan did look ugly in costume!
The audience laughed, "Hahahahaha!"
Yao Jiancai spoke in a northeastern accent, "Hey, just what is going on between the two of you?"
Dong Shanshan gave a dry laugh . "We're a couple, and we're just having fun here!"
Zhang Ye also laughed . "Hur hur hur, there's nothing to do, so we're just having fun!"
Yao Jiancai said into the camera, "These two, having fun by selling the wife on the New Year?"
…
Backstage .
A staff member came running over .
"Boss! The viewership numbers have exploded!"
"What? How many are there watching now?"
"We can't get the figures yet!"
"Then how do you know?"
"The staff tabulating the viewership data told us! They said that since Director Zhang's skit began, the viewership numbers shot up in a straight line! It has grown to a crazy amount of viewers!"
"Good! Good! Very good!"
"It's still Zhang Ye who has the most appeal!"
"Come on, Director Zhang! Let's see how high of a viewership ratings you can achieve!"
"Are we going to break the record this time?"
"It all depends on how the skit does!"
…
The skit continued .
Yao Jiancai had successfully been tricked by Zhang Ye .
Zhang Ye smiled and said, "In recent days, have you noticed that any part of your body is feeling different from before? Think about it, think hard about it!"
Yao Jiancai touched his head . "I don't feel that anything is different, except that my face keeps swelling . "
The audience laughed . "Hahahaha!"
Zhang Ye snapped his fingers . "That's right! But this isn't the main illness! Do you know why your face is swelling? Because of necrosis of your peripheral nervous system causing your upper body to swell . "
Yao Jiancai was startled . "Then where am I getting affected?"
Zhang Ye pointed . "Below the waist, and above your feet!"
Yao Jiancai: "My legs?"
Zhang Ye: "Spot on!"
Yao Jiancai shook his head . "No, that can't be . I don't have any major problems with my legs!"
Zhang Ye rolled his eyes as he pointed at Yao Jiancai and said loudly, "Take two steps forward! Two steps! If you're fine, just walk two steps to see how it feels! Walk!"
The audience:
"Hahahaha!"
"Aiyo, Zhang Ye is really too much!"
"How wicked of him!"
Yao Jiancai got frightened . His movements were very stiff . "Alright, alright, two…two steps . I'll take two steps if you want me to take two steps . "
Zhang Ye: "Stop! There's nothing wrong with your shoes, right? One is higher than the other?"
Yao Jiancai: "These are sneakers, they're almost flat!"
Zhang Ye: "That's right, so it's your legs that have a problem . One of them is shorter! How about this, I'll give you a tune-up . Do you believe me? When I lift my hand, raise your leg, as high as you can, then slam it into the ground when I lower it . Do you believe me? There's definitely a problem with your legs: Your right leg is shorter! Come, raise it!"
Dong Shanshan watched curiously from the side .
Yao Jiancai nervously raised his leg!
Zhang Ye's swung his hand downward!
Yao Jiancai followed and stomped his foot!
Raise!
Stomp!
Raise!
Stomp!
Finally, Zhang Ye pointed at him . "Stop! Do you feel numb?"
Yao Jiancai said dumbfoundedly, "I do!"
Dong Shanshan hurriedly pulled Zhang Ye aside and asked in bewilderment, "Eh, how did his foot become numb?"
Zhang Ye rolled his eyes . "Of course . You'd feel numb if you stomped your foot too!"
…
The live audience burst into laughter!
"Hahahahaha!"
"Aiyo, I can't take this anymore!"
"This cheat!"
"Old Yao has been scammed again!"
"Hahahahahahahaha!"
"You'd feel numb if you stomped your foot too? What a classic line, damn!"
…
Zhang Ye: "Start walking, start walking! Don't control it, I'm 100% sure your leg has a problem . Don't control it, relax! Let's go! Keep walking! Walk, faster! Walk, don't think . Why don't you follow my lead? Keep walking, bit by bit, let's go . "
Yao Jiancai staggered behind Zhang Ye . The more he walked, the more unsteady he was . "Aiya, aiya, aiya, oh my God!"
Zhang Ye smiled and said, "Right, now walk by yourself!"
Dong Shanshan said in surprise, "He's tricked a good pair of legs lame!"
Yao Jiancai turned around . "What did you say?"
Zhang Ye chuckled and said, "See that? My wife saw it . She says that your leg has become lame from being idle . "
Yao Jiancai was almost in tears . "My dear sis, then why didn't I notice it earlier?"
Dong Shanshan laughed . "That's because you didn't meet him earlier . If you did, you'd have already been crippled!"
…
At Zhang Ye's maternal grandma's house .
His third sister was cramping up from laughter!
His second sister was crouched on the floor and clutching her stomach as she laughed!
The entire family was staggering from laughter!
"This is too funny!"
"Little Ye is terrible!"
"How did he even think of something like that!"
"Hahahahaha!"
…
The skit was getting to the best parts .
The laughter of the audience didn't stop!
Yao Jiancai: "Use a crutch?"
Zhang Ye: "Please sit down . After you use a crutch, your legs will start balancing out and then gradually get better . Back then, when an old man noticed that my leg had problems, my wife didn't allow me to see a doctor because it pained her how much it would cost . In the end, I was crippled . " He patted his leg and said, "There's a steel plate inside and I can't bend it . "
Yao Jiancai said in surprise, "This leg is crippled?"
Dong Shanshan: "No, this is a good leg . "
Zhang Ye harrumphed . "What are you saying! Would I have needed crutches if it was a good leg?"
Yao Jiancai: "That's right . "
Dong Shanshan interrupted, "Those crutches are not—"
Yao Jiancai got angry . "Aiya, my dear sis! Can you please stop messing around already? This is a discussion between two patients, so why do you keep trying to interrupt us!"
Dong Shanshan was exasperated!
…
Backstage .
Some of the performers who had finished their acts had also gathered around to watch the Spring Festival Gala .
Like Zhang Yuanqi .
Like Chen Guang and Fan Wenli .
Like Ci Xiufang and her team .
At this moment, they were all laughing hard at the skit!
"Hahahahaha!"
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