In a Different World with a Smartphone (LN) - Volume 19 - Chapter 1

Chapter I: The Puretree Sapling 

The territory formerly known as the Reverse World covered the western half of the new world. And there were two troublesome nations within that area. 
Dauburn, Land of Fire, and Zadonia, Land of Ice. 
These two nations had a blood feud that stretched back several generations. Each side considered the other to be thieves. 
According to the world leaders I’d spoken to, the regular citizens of these nations didn’t really have a problem with each other. The feud was perpetuated by the nobles, for the most part. 
Each country blamed the other for the theft of an offering they’d made to their respective gods. Apparently, the theft had triggered curses that turned Dauburn into a burning hellscape and Zadonia into a frozen wasteland. 
My personal theory was that gods hadn’t been responsible for the problems at all. It was much more likely the work of spirits, which meant something had most likely irritated them a few hundred years ago. 
“That’s why I’m here to ask about what happened.” 
“Oh... That’s, well...” 
“That’s hard to answer...” 
I’d used my divine abilities to warp myself to the spirit realm. I floated amidst a milky-white, sparkling backdrop with the spirits of ice and flame in front of me. They were sitting on the other side of the table I’d prepared. I’d also brought a plate of cookies as a gift. 
The Flame Spirit was second in the elemental hierarchy to the Fire Spirit. Much like the pillar spirit, she was a tomboyish and energetic girl with short red hair. She looked so similar to the Fire Spirit that I’d have believed them to be sisters. 
The Ice Spirit was also right below her respective pillar spirit in terms of hierarchy. She was apparently akin to a sister to Shirahime of Eashen’s mother, the Snow Spirit. Her hair was an icy blue, and it was styled into a princess cut. Her expression was also somewhat devoid of emotion, but given her status as a spirit, that probably shouldn’t have been so surprising. 
“I remember we were incarnated around five hundred years ago. But neither of us remember too much from back then. Perhaps I was irritated at some point, but I honestly can’t recall.” 
“Indeed, I feel much the same. Given that our spiritual dependents have settled and made the environments so volatile, something must have happened there... But I can’t really say for sure what that something was.” 
Damn, so they don’t even know what the score is... Spirits were timeless beings. They reincarnated every thousand years or so, but each cycle erased their memory and appearance. They could even change from male to female or vice versa. So even if they were the ones who had cursed the two nations, assuming it was a curse, there wasn’t anything they could tell me. 
“It’s true we don’t remember much, but we could call our servile spirits back and stabilize their environments if you’d like.” 
“Hm... That could work, but hold off on it for now. I don’t think that’d solve any of the real issues going on over there.” 
They weren’t exactly fighting with each other over the weather, after all. Plus, suddenly changing the area without any warning was more likely to cause harm than good. 
Honestly, I had a feeling that it wasn’t a curse plaguing the countries... Slowly adjusting their environments back to something a bit more neutral could very well have fixed everything, but I definitely wasn’t counting on it. 
“You two aren’t enemies or anything, are you?” 
“I wouldn’t say so. We hang out with each other and get along, don’t we?” 
“Yeah, we do. However... I can’t exactly say for sure that we were friends in our previous incarnations. We change as people after each rebirth.” 
That made sense. They were essentially different people each time they were reborn, so it was entirely possible they were enemies in a past life. 
“We heard from the spirits that knew our past selves that we were amicable back then, though. We weren’t as close as we are right now, but we also weren’t enemies.” 
“Indeed, I heard something similar from Her Watership.” 
Hrmph... Well, this doesn’t really answer any of my questions. Guess I can’t solve anything here. 
Still, it’s not on me to fix Dauburn and Zadonia’s problems, right? I’ve got no reason to stick my nose into their business. If I can work out the reason, then I can fix it... But I don’t really have to try too hard to figure it out. 
“Sorry for taking up your time. Please take these cookies as thanks. You guys should share them with the other spirits later on.” 
I passed some more cookies to the two spirits before leaving the spirit realm. In the end, I learned nothing new about the cause of the old feud. It would probably have been easier to just kidnap the two leaders, and then dump them some place where they were all alone. If they had to rely on each other to survive on a deserted island, then they would be forced to grow closer. 
“Haha... There’s no way I’d do that... right? Ahaha...” 
That sounded a little harsh, even by my standards. I shrugged a bit and headed off to Babylon, figuring I’d save that tactic as a last resort. 
I arrived in the garden just in time to catch a tea party. 
“Welcome to the garden, Master. I’ll bring the tea over.” 
“Ah, thanks.” 
Cesca was standing below the gazebo in her maid garb as she suddenly warped away. She’d likely transported down to the castle to get some more cups. 
I sat down at the table, on a chair between Yumina and Yae. 
“Where were you this time, Touya?” 
“I was in the spirit realm. I wanted to talk to the spirits of flame and ice, but I couldn’t get much out of them.” 
“Did you mean to get involved with those irksome countries that are fighting over being too hot and too cold, did you?” 
They’re not fighting over their climates... But they’re definitely irksome. 
“What were you all discussing?” 
“We’ve been talking about recent events. There’s actually something I wanted to ask you, darling.” 
“Hm? What’d you need?” 
Leen set her cup down and glanced my way. Everyone at the table followed her line of sight... I was curious about what they wanted to say. 
“When you got engaged to us, you said you’d marry us once you turned eighteen, remember?” 
“Uh... Yeah. That’s right.” 
“Well, we all learned something from Karen recently. There’s a difference between the world you came from and this one. You knew it all along, didn’t you? That the number of days in a year is different here.” Leen looked at me with a soft, accusatory gaze. My blood ran cold as I stared back, sweat beading on my brow. 
“Heh. If we go by the calendar of your world, you turned eighteen quite some time ago, didn’t you?” 
...Shit, they know. They goddamn know... Ugh! Karen, why’d you have to screw me over like this? They were right, though. I hadn’t realized it initially, but a year in this world was a bit longer than a year on earth. Roughly four months longer, to be exact. A year in this world had sixteen months. 
Initially, when I saw a thirteenth month show up on my smartphone, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I ended up secretly asking Kousaka about it, just to verify. 
I’d always used my smartphone to check the date and time, so I’d never seen the calendars used in this world. Plus, the fact that this world didn’t have cyclical seasons didn’t exactly help, either. Ever since I learned about the extended year, I’d been working off the timeframe of this world. And by the timeframe of this world, I was only seventeen years old! 
But yeah... Back in the world I came from, I’d have already turned eighteen a while back. 
“I-I wasn’t hiding it or anything! I just figured, since I live here now, I should count my age based on the calendar of this world. I mean, heck, if we go by my world’s calendar, Yumina, who’s fourteen right now, would actually be eighteen already! And don’t get me started on you, Leen. You’d be—” 
“That’s quite enough, darling...” Leen smiled as she spoke, but I sensed a murderous glint in her eyes. The pressure she could exert was nothing to scoff at. 
“Okay...” 
“S-Still, that means we can marry you now, doesn’t it?” Linze chimed in, a light blush on her face. 
“In the end, that’s up to our darling, but it’s a little difficult given current events. We have the wicked god to contend with, so that would cause complications...” 
“Complications? Of what kind?” Yae raised an eyebrow in response to Leen’s statement. 
“W-Well... If we were to be impregnated, we’d have to avoid direct combat...” 
HOLD UP, LEEN. YOU’RE DEFINITELY JUMPING THE GUN A BIT. Plus, you’re a fairy, so you’re not even very fertile! 
Leen’s reddened face began to spread across the table, infecting the cheeks of each of my fiancees. Naturally, the blushing sickness caught hold of me, as well. 
I caught sight of Sue from the corner of my eye. She was sipping juice as casually as she could, but even her cheeks were stained red... I was a little amazed at how quickly she’d matured. 
“W-Well, let’s just set that aside for a minute. I’m sorry I didn’t mention the age thing, but we can’t get married until I’ve dealt with the wicked god. That’s why I want to deal with it as soon as we possibly can.” 
“Do you think we can win, do you?” 
“So long as we manage to counteract the divine venom, we’ll be fine. Even if the enemy absorbed a god, it was still a NEET god that sat at the lowest standing in terms of divinity. Sure, I may look like an average Joe, but I’m still a beneficiary of God Almighty. Plus, I have seven gods in human form as backup. If I can’t win with all that help, then I probably don’t deserve to.” 
I liked to think I wasn’t that incompetent. Plus, this whole thing was basically a test from God Almighty. The outcome would determine whether or not I became this world’s new caretaker. 
It suddenly occurred to me that Yula might not have been aware of the full scope of the situation. He probably didn’t know that the god he’d managed to catch was just a pathetic NEET. 
Given how egotistical that shitty NEET was, he never would’ve admitted something so humiliating, even under threat of death. Hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d tried to pass himself off as the god of worlds or something. Yeah, that definitely sounds like something that idiot would’ve done. 
“Oh, that’s right. Lu recently awakened to a special ability gained from being a beneficiary!” Elze spoke up, prompting me to look over at Lu. 
“Huh, she did?” 
“Ah, yes. Th-Though it isn’t a combat-related ability...” Lu smiled wryly. 
The beneficiary trait was a unique ability that manifested within people as blessings from the gods that nurtured them. Lu and the rest of my fiancees were unique, since they had the potential to awaken as beneficiaries of eight gods. Those gods being myself, Karen, Moroha, Kousuke, Sousuke, Karina, Suika, and Takeru. 
Still, they didn’t draw their new powers from everyone at once. For example, taking me out of the equation, Sakura definitely had a closer affinity to Sousuke than anyone else. They went out to perform together, after all. 
Yae and Hilde were closer to Moroha, and Elze was closer to the combat god. 
Still, the main source of their divine blessing was me. The beneficiary trait was basically a gift from the gods. It was a power that elevated one beyond humanity. Yumina had her foresight, Sakura had enhanced hearing... I wondered what Lu had manifested. 
“Um, well... It’s my sense of taste. It’s much more heightened than it used to be. I can tell different ingredients apart. I innately know what was involved in cooking something, as well as how much of it.” 
Wow... That’s quite the skill... Lu cooked a lot with our head chef, Crea. Her ability as a cook was already right up there among the pros, despite the fact that she hadn’t ever wielded a kitchen knife before meeting me. It seemed like beneficiary traits elevated innate strengths, even if they didn’t know about them. 
“Lu’s really amazing. She managed to detect the presence of a single grain of salt that had mixed into a cup of water.” 
“That’s definitely interesting... But wouldn’t it be bad if you ate something that didn’t taste good? Wouldn’t it be amplified?” 
“Oh, no... It doesn’t activate if I don’t want to. It’s sort of like something I can switch on and off.” 
“Mm... It’s the same for me... If I don’t focus, I don’t hear too much extra...” Sakura nodded at Lu. It was interesting that they could toggle their abilities, but I was glad they could. Having them on permanently would have been rough. Their toggle was kind of like how I could turn my divine sight on and off. 
“That’s pretty cool! Hey, Touya! Give me my ability, too!” 
“I-It doesn’t exactly work like that...” I laughed softly at Sue’s request. Beneficiary traits depended on the person, so there wasn’t really one thing you could do to manifest it. I understood her feelings on the matter, but I couldn’t do anything to speed up the process. 
“U-Um... Could it be that we’re slower to awaken because we’ve received less love?” Linze timidly spoke up. 
“Hold it! You’ve got it all wrong! It just awakens differently depending on the person!” I didn’t want them doubting my feelings, so I screamed that response at the top of my lungs. It really wasn’t a nice thought. 
“It’s likely easier for sensory skills to manifest, rather than more physical traits.” 
“Yeah, what Hilde said. Yumina, Sakura, and Lu have all manifested traits related to their senses. Vision, hearing, and taste.” 
“I don’t know if I’d call foresight related to the sense of vision...” 
“It’s still something you see, isn’t it? I have a feeling that Hilde, Yae, and Elze will get a more physical blessing.” 
Probably something like improving their physical prowess... Oh, wait. That’s kind of already happened. Even Sue, who was weak to begin with, could now move in tandem with our knights. And that was without any formal training. Yae, Elze, and Hilde were far above that in terms of physical prowess. The blessing they’d received was clear from that alone. 
...You know, now that I think about it, our kids are gonna be super overpowered. They’d be demi-gods right off the bat, right? Then they’d have the blessing of a bunch of gods like Karen and the others... Raising them is probably gonna be hell. 
...They’re all gonna be girls, too. Yeesh. Hopefully, they grow up with style and grace. 
“I wonder what a more physical blessing would be like, I do.” 
“Maybe something like Elze’s [Boost] spell?” 
“Bwuh... But I already have that! I’d like something more unique!” 
The physical trio started having a lively discussion about how their newfound powers would manifest. And frankly, I was a bit scared of whatever ferocious powers they’d unlock. 
“Y-You don’t think we’ll sprout wings all of a sudden, do you?” 
“N-No, that won’t happen to you guys. Even when I go full divine mode, only my hair grows out. It’s not that intense...” I quickly shot down Linze’s strange suggestion. Then again, having white wings would definitely make the girls look more angelic... which would fit their status as divine beneficiaries. 
“Wings sound boring! I bet I’ll get a trait that makes me a whole lot taller... A trait that gives me a big chest and makes me beautiful like Karen!” 
...No, Sue. I don’t think so. You’re not describing a trait here, you’re describing a full-body transformation. 
You know, I’m a little surprised Sue’s worrying about things like bust size... Then again, she’s already twelve, so I guess those anxieties aren’t uncommon. I looked back to Sue, who was patting her own budding chest. 
“I wonder if I’ll get as big as Flora someday...” 
“...You probably shouldn’t compare yourself to mythical boobs like hers. They’re not a product of the natural world!” Elze quickly piped up in response to Sue. 
Flora, the manager of the alchemy lab. They definitely had to be over a hundred... Maybe even a hundred and twenty. Despite their massive size, those honkers gracefully bent the laws of gravity. Those terrifying titties were well-rounded and definitely not saggy either... 
Well, she was engineered as a homunculus-like creature, right? No point competing against those marvelous melons. For some reason, I could sense a darkness brewing from behind the gazes of Yumina, Lu, Sue, and Elze. Sakura didn’t seem to care all that much, and Leen was old enough to realize she wasn’t going to grow anymore. Yae kept hers pressed down with a chest wrap, but her goods were top-tier. Hilde’s chest was of a fair size, as well. 
“I wonder if Flora’s using some kind of drug to enhance her chest...” 
“Nah, the chest-booster drug is in the storehouse, so she was probably just created... that... way...” 
I replied to Linze too quickly to realize my mistake. And thanks to that, I suddenly found several gazes boring into me. I’d said something I shouldn’t have. 
“What did you say just now, Touya?” 
“... Chest-booster drug?” 
“It’s in the storehouse, is it? Hm? You mean there’s actually something like that?” 
“Touya? Touya? Answer us, Touya.” 
“N-No! Wait! I just made a mistake!” 

Please stop glaring at me! It’s scary! At least blink! C’mon! Think about it! That’s something Doctor Babylon made! It’s obviously gonna have terrible side effects! It’ll make your boobs balloon out to over three hundred centimeters or something! There’ll definitely be something wrong with it! 
“Elze, Lu. Head to the research laboratory and bring Doctor Babylon. We need more information about this drug. Linze and I will head to the storehouse and procure the substance.” 
“Roger!” 
“On our way!” 
On Yumina’s order, Elze and Lu rushed off to the research laboratory. 
How’re you guys moving that fast?! 
“We’ll be off, then.” 
“Indeed.” 
Yumina and Linze dashed off toward the storehouse. 
Wait, are you guys using [Accel] from your engagement rings?! 
“That sounds kinda interesting. I’ll check it out too!” 
“Mhm... Me too...” 
Sue and Sakura dashed off to the storehouse after the other two. 
“I must admit, I’m a bit curious about this as well.” 
“Indeed, I am most interested, I am.” 
“Quite.” 
Leen, Yae, and Hilde stood up and ran off as well. 
“...Why couldn’t I have kept my fat mouth shut?” 
At the very least, they were going to ask Doctor Babylon about it. I wanted them to be aware of any side effects, since I was certain there’d be some. 
After a short while, I found out that Doctor Babylon had explained the full nature of the chest-booster drug to the girls. Apparently, it induced a form of physical alteration, which acted as a supplement to change the shape of a body using magic. It also had to be applied directly to the chest. 
I didn’t get to see it in action, but all the girls tried it and their breasts actually did get bigger. However, the effect wasn’t permanent. It sapped the person’s personal magical supply to maintain itself, so over time, the breasts would slowly deflate to their original size. Surprisingly, there weren’t actually any side effects. That was the most shocking part to me. 
It only lasted around thirty or so minutes... I was just glad there was no loose skin or sagging afterward. Their chests were simply back to how they were before they’d used the drug. And since the drug made use of a person’s own internal magic, I couldn’t just use [Transfer] to keep it steadily sated. 
Elze and Linze, who hadn’t yet awakened to their beneficiary trait, began praying for theirs to be a deeper magic supply. Still, no matter how big the pool, it’d run out eventually. It was basically like constantly firing off a [Fireball] spell. 
It was an ephemeral, transient thing, like a dream. It was fated to fade away, leaving nothingness in its wake... 
Doc Babylon came over to me a little while after and told me she had a male version as well. I didn’t really understand why a man would want a bigger chest, so she went on to explain that the male version didn’t enlarge the chest... 
 
“Phoenix down, tears of a Holy Dragon, a saintly white snake’s molt, and a Unicorn horn...” 
“Ayup. Gotta mix ’em into fertilizer. Our enemy slowly took divine venom inta his body, aye? Well, we’ll grow ourselves a puretree that slowly absorbs divine stuff inta itself...” Uncle Kousuke nodded as he spoke, glancing at a twenty-centimeter sapling in the nearby soil every now and then. 
“We gotta let it take in the holy essence’ve purebeasts. We divine folk’re much too powerful, so we gotta use less strong stuff in the mix, basically. Yer heavenly beast friends are a bit too strong, too.” 
“Sounds like it’s tough to balance...” If we gave the tree too much divinity, it’d basically be like a benefactor of the gods. And then, it would just get killed by the divine venom instead of being able to purify it. 
All the raw materials that had been requested were ones with purifying properties. Phoenixes constantly resurrected themselves, and Unicorns were said to have healing powers. If our puretree took in aspects like that, it’d be pretty good. 
But the fact that we needed purebeasts was a problem... 
They weren’t magical beasts or anything like that, which meant that they weren’t predators or threats to humans. They were reasonably intelligent and could communicate with people as well. 
So basically, we couldn’t just go kill them and be done with it. We had to negotiate to get them to willingly give up their aspects. 
“The Holy Dragon, saintly white snake, and the Phoenix should be fine. Luli has a Holy Dragon among her subordinates... The snake should be easy if we use Sango and Kokuyou, and the Phoenix will be easy if we ask Kougyoku to talk to one, as well. The only issue is the Unicorn.” 
“Well... what about Kohaku, then? Purebeast’s still a beast, aye? Can’t she ask?” 
“Apparently, Kohaku doesn’t really like Unicorns... They’ll just fight if they end up meeting each other... She seems to have a personal problem with them.” 
“Mm... It’d be plenty bad if we killed a Unicorn. Its lingerin’ regret an’ negative emotions would seep into the horn, which would make it pointless ta even bother gettin’.” 
Unicorns apparently lived in a sacred grove within the Sea of Trees. It was a place cut off from the outside world, a place that couldn’t easily be accessed. I didn’t think that was much of an issue for me, though. I had a good relationship with the Rauli tribe, which was the current dominant tribe over there. 
The only real problem was that Unicorns didn’t allow men near them. They allegedly only let pure maidens approach... which meant even if you were a girl, you had to be a virgin to get within a foot of one. 
From what I’d heard, Unicorns were ferocious and cruel creatures. If a man or a sexually experienced woman approached one, they’d mercilessly aim to kill. If they were captured or bested, they’d rot their own horn and kill themselves... I couldn’t really understand that mindset, myself. 
They certainly seemed like a giant pain in the ass. 
“I’ll try to get a horn.” 
“Aye. I’ll leave that to ya, then. Once ya gather the ingredients, we’ll make us a fine puretree ta purify the divine venom.” 
...Well. I’m definitely gonna need help here... Hopefully, the girls are up for it. 
“A Unicorn, you say?” 
“...So a womanizing horse? Sounds like a real freak. But we can handle it.” 
...That’s kinda harsh, Elze... You’re not making it sound like a very pure creature at all. 
Hunting the Unicorn wouldn’t yield the horn we wanted, so I decided that negotiation was the best course of action. Since it’d be hostile toward men or non-virgin women, I figured I’d need to recruit a couple of virgins to help out. 
Don’t worry, though. I had enough tact that I didn’t go up to my fiancees and say something stupid like, “You’re definitely all virgins, right?” I just told them that bringing several girls might make the Unicorn feel more at ease. 
I took all my fiancees and moved to the Sea of Trees. The Rauli tribe was currently the tribe of the treelord, making them the head honchos. I had permission from their matriarch, Pam, to enter the Unicorn grove. 
“Are you sure we can talk to the Unicorns?” 
“Kohaku said it should be alright. Purebeasts are intelligent creatures, and they know human language,” I quickly answered Hilde. To be honest, the intellectual capacity these Unicorns had kind of made them annoying, since it meant they could subscribe to weird moral outlooks like prioritizing virgins. 
“I’ve spoken with Unicorns before... They’re rather strange creatures. Very knightly and gentle with virgin women, they even say ‘milady’ and such. But if a Unicorn senses a sexually experienced woman, everything changes. It’ll swear violently at her, call her all manner of names, and try to shun her.” 
“What?” I wasn’t really happy hearing that from Leen. But man, if it treated women so horribly, I was kind of worried how it might feel about a guy like me. 
“...How do they determine if a girl’s a virgin or not?” 
“Dunno... They probably smell it?” 
“I think I’m gonna be sick...” Lu shuddered slightly as she listened to Sakura and Linze talk. 
Smell... Does that mean it’s pheromone-based or something? But if it judges your purity based on smelling you... Ugh, that’s kinda gross. 
“Oh, Touya! Look over there. It’s a pretty spring.” 
We headed deeper into the grove and found an open area and a spring. The crystal-clear waters and pools reminded me of the cenotes found at the Yucatan Peninsula. 
“Touya... Look over there.” Yumina pointed forward, and I saw a Unicorn drinking from the waters. 
“A Unicorn...” 
It basically looked like a white horse. Still, the beautiful white horn was a dead giveaway as to its pure nature. We had to get it. 
“I probably shouldn’t get any closer.” 
“You’re right. It’s already taken notice of you. I’m assuming the only reason it hasn’t attacked is because it can’t tell how strong you are.” Leen pointed out the fact that the Unicorn had stopped drinking. It was staring right at us. 
Wh-What’s with those eyes?! It kind of feels like I’m being sized up by a thug! 
“Tch...” 
Did... Did it just click its tongue at me?! It did! Can Unicorns even do that?! What the hell?! 
“It is not quite the creature I expected, it is not...” 
“Mhm... it kind of has a bad vibe?” Yae and Hilde glanced nervously at each other. 
“I guess not all Unicorns are friendly, huh? Who should approach it?” 
“I-I feel a tad awkward, I do. Perhaps Lu-dono should go first...” 
“M-Me?!” 
“Oh, sounds like the best idea to me. You’re a princess, and you’re kinda meek!” Elze and Yae patted Lu on the back, sending her off for the first try. 
Lu slowly, but surely, approached the Unicorn. The Unicorn kept its eyes trained on Lu. It kept on glaring at her, a faint expression of disgust on its face. 
“G-Good day to you, Unicorn. My name is Lucia. I’d like to—” 
The Unicorn simply turned away from Lu’s smiling face. 
...Why’s it being like that? Lu circled around to face the Unicorn, and it just turned away again. No matter how she moved, the Unicorn moved to avoid looking at her. 
“E-Excuse me.” 
“Keep away from me.” 
The Unicorn sounded disgusted. Its words confused all of us. Unicorns were supposed to react warmly to virgin maidens, so for it to reject Lu... 
“H-Hold on! Don’t go jumping to conclusions!” Lu came charging back toward us. She had small tears in her eyes and looked completely shocked. 
“I-I’m a virgin, I swear! I wouldn’t even dream of doing it with someone other than Touya! Believe me, please!” 
“I-I know, Lu... It’s okay. Just calm down, okay?” 
It’s pretty obvious she’s a virgin. I certainly haven’t done anything with her yet. She’s kind of scaring me with how frantic she looks, though. 
“...What does this mean, then?” 
I was gently patting Lu on the head when Yumina spoke up. 
“Y-Yumina! Please don’t tell me you doubt me!” 
“No, that’s not what I mean. It’s clear you’re a chaste maiden, so I don’t understand why the Unicorn’s avoiding you.” 
Yeah, that’s right. The Unicorn’s clearly the weirdo here... Poor Lu. 
“Maybe he has a type? Perhaps we should try sending out someone who’s the exact opposite of Lu... Yae, you should go this time.” 
“Leen-dono... I am not sure what to make of what you just said, I am not...” Yae sighed and trudged off toward the Unicorn. But, when she reached out to touch it, the Unicorn backed off as if being approached by a pile of trash. 
Yae scowled and reached forward again, but the Unicorn jumped back and yelled, “Don’t touch me! You stink of man!” 
“Th-That is not the case, it is not!” Yae screamed as she charged back toward me with tears in her eyes. Just like Lu, she tackled me and held on to my side. 
“I-I would never consort with other men, I would not!” 
“I know, Yae... I know. I think it’s talking about me.”  

The Unicorn seemed to hate having any trace of a man near it, which was a huge problem. 
We still needed its horn. 
“I’ll try next...” 
“Sakura? You sure?” 
“It’s okay... Don’t really care what it says to me. I’ll just tell it what we need...” Sakura quietly hummed to herself as she walked up to the Unicorn. It seemed interested in her tune, and it wasn’t trying to get away like it had been earlier. Unlike Yae and Lu, Sakura kept some distance while she was singing. And when she finished her song, she spoke up. 
“We need your horn... Give it to us...” 
“Gwuh... I thought a nice chick showed up, but you’re just another gold-digging hussy? Bite me, bitch. You just wanna give it to your boyfriend and leave me on my own, don’t you?” 
Unicorn horns were a powerful restorative drug when crushed up into a powder. That meant historically, the horns have sold for high prices. It wasn’t too unreasonable for the Unicorn to assume we’d come with that kind of intention. 
But that Unicorn was definitely starting to piss me the hell off. I didn’t care who it was, it had no right to speak to Sakura that way. Just who did it think it was messing with? 
“I think we should kill this foolish horse, I do. If I sliced through its neck before it feels negativity, the horn should remain pure, it should,” Yae scowled and muttered, echoing my own thoughts. 
I didn’t really want to kill it, though... Or at the very least, I would rather have saved killing for the last resort. 
“I think we need to change our approach. Right now, we’re simply asking the Unicorn for its horn, right?” 
“Right, so what do you propose?” 
“We just need to make the Unicorn ask us to take its horn.” 

Clearly we were getting nowhere, so we just needed to take the horn while the Unicorn felt good. Heheheh... You pathetic horse... I’m gonna send you to heaven in more ways than one... 
“Your face is quite menacing, it is.” 
“He’s already thought of something cruel, I can feel it.” 
I ignored Yae and Elze and moved forward. After calling Sakura back, I approached the Unicorn. Its gaze was no longer thuggish. Instead, it was staring through me with pure hatred in its eyes. 
“Seems you don’t really like guys, huh?” 
“Huh? Don’t talk to me, normie. I hate bastards like you the most. You just pick up chicks left and right, like you’re some kind of alpha or some shit. But then you don’t even bang them, so what’s the point? You think you’re so high and mighty ’cause you can resist a man’s natural urges? Who gives a shit? How about you go to hell and let some other guys have a turn, huh?!” 
After hearing that, I was honestly concerned that we wouldn’t be able to use his horn for the puretree. His mindset was so corrupted that it felt like a lost cause. I sighed and shrugged, resigning myself to my initial plan. 
“[Prison].” 
“The hell?!” 
I set up a barrier around two meters in diameter around the Unicorn. It wouldn’t be able to escape. 
“Hey, fucko! Let me out! This isn’t funny! You want my horn to fall off?! I’ll kill myself to spite you!” 
“Calm down, dude. I’m just gonna call a few ladies who wanna spend some quality time with you.” 
“You serious?!” 
“[Rise forth, O Spirits!]! Come to me!” Three beautiful girls appeared within the [Prison]. They’d taken the form of impeccably gorgeous teens. The three of them fluttered their eyelashes at the Unicorn. 
“Oooh!” 
The Unicorn let out a happy noise. I hoped the perverted bastard enjoyed it while he still could. 
“Here, I’ll call some more out. Just for you.” 
Several different beauties appeared out of thin air inside the [Prison]. One of the girls pushed down on the Unicorn’s neck, causing him to lay down. The other girls flocked around him and pressed their bodies against him. 
“Ohoho, now this is what I’m talking about! You don’t stink like guys, you’re totally virgins! This is what I deserve! Hahaha! About time!” 
More and more spirits appeared, leaving the Unicorn in the middle of them all. He was smiling wide and looked extremely happy. I took that chance to begin negotiations with the purebeast. 
“So, how about it? I’ll let you have a whole day of fun with these girls if you give me your horn.” 
“Huh? Just one day? I want three. Give me three days, or get the hell outta here.” 
“Psh... You drive a hard bargain, man. But sure, three days it is. Give me the horn up-front, and I promise I’ll keep my end of the deal.” 
I tweaked the [Prison] to only allow the Unicorn’s horn to pass through. Then, I used Brunhild to cleanly slice it off. Because the Unicorn presented its horn to me of its own volition, there wasn’t a single bit of impurity residing within it. 
“Better hold up your end, bud. I don’t want these hotties vanishing or anything.” 
“No worries, the spirits are gonna stay in there with you for three whole days. Hear that, spirits? You can return to your regular forms now if you want.” 
The spirits all smiled and cheered, their bodies morphing slightly as they spoke. 
“Huh?” 
The Unicorn let out a confused response because the pretty young ladies surrounding him sounded a touch... masculine. 
The maidens began to transform into beefy old men and shredded young guys, one after the other. The Unicorn stared in shock and horror as the bodybuilder-esque forms materialized all around him. It was a veritable sausage party. 
“Wh-Wh-What the hell is going on?!” 
What was going on? That was simple. These spirits were all related to the most rugged and manly spirit around, the Stone Spirit. They all had chiseled forms that corresponded to minerals and ores. They were the pinnacle of manly musculature. 
They didn’t smell like men because spirits had no scents to begin with. I’d used my authority to call them into this world, and I’d shaped their forms as I’d done so. 
“I’ll be sure to send in some booze, snacks, and other bits and pieces. I hope you boys get along. Make it real close and personal. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.” 
I transported a few casks of ale into the [Prison], along with some food. It was gonna be a three-day beefy bonanza in there, after all. The spirits all cheered, celebrating and reveling in their party. Meanwhile, the Unicorn was huddled up in the corner, weeping and dribbling snot. At least now it looked as pathetic as its personality. 
“I-I’m fine with you breaking our promise, s-so just let me out! I don’t want this! Auugh! Th-They’re too muscley! It’s gross! They’re all sweaty!” 
“Ahaha, don’t be so coy. You asked for three days, remember? I’ll leave you to the fun.” 
“N-No! Please! Th-The beefcakes! They’re... Their hands, oh god! What are they gripping?! D-Don’t touch that!” 
“Have fun, pal.” 
I turned around and left the area, refusing to look back. Yumina and the other girls were staring at me kind of funny, but I got the horn, and that was all that really mattered. 
A while later, I heard from Pam that the Rauli tribe had spotted a peculiar Unicorn that refused to approach women. But apparently, it was quite fond of beefy young men... 
It seemed the Unicorn had been compensating for something, and in a way... it had found its own happiness in life. 
I just pretended not to know a thing. 
“Mhm. S’all good here. The puretree’s workin’ about as well as we’d thought. Now any divine venom’ll get turned into harmless mana,” Uncle Kousuke, the god of agriculture, gave me the good news. His words prompted me to cheer. 
“Hell yeah!” 
The tiny sapling had taken in all the purifying elements we’d gathered, and used them to successfully turn into a budding puretree. 
“So now we can start purifying all the venom in Isengard. And after that...” 
“Mhm. We’ll be able to face the wicked god directly,” I said as I nodded at Yumina. 
“But won’t a little sapling like this take forever to purify such a large landmass like Isengard?” Sue, who was sitting near Anubis, raised a valid question. 
“Won’t be a problem at all, little lady. It turns the divine venom into mana, aye? Then it uses that mana to nourish itself. The moment we plant it in Isengard, it should start growin’ an’ growin’. The bigger it gets, the more it’ll absorb, and the more it’ll grow. But uh, well...” Kousuke smiled softly and turned toward her as he said that. 
“What is it? There a problem?” 
“Nah, s’just... Speakin’ the obvious here, but it’d be better ta plant the sapling in the middle’ve the country. But it ain’t like we or yer wives-ta-be can go there due to the venom... Sure, we could send Anubis an’ Bastet, but that’s not really ideal either...” 
Huh, why not? The capital of Isengard, Isenberg, is way to the south. We don’t need to go someplace that dangerous, since the plant just needs to get placed in the central area. Anubis and Bastet can get there pretty easily, so what’s the problem? 
“Well, if Anubis an’ Bastet plant the puretree in the middle’ve Isengard... it’ll start absorbin’ the venom an’ growin’ bigger, right? It’ll purify the land, but it’ll get bigger an’ bigger.” 
“Isn’t that what we want?” 
“D’ya really think the enemy’s gonna leave it alone once they notice?” 
“Oh, right...” 
Duh. They’re not morons. The puretree’s a huge thorn in their side, so there’s no way they’d leave it be. They’ll definitely try and take it out the moment they realize it’s there. 
“Anubis an’ Bastet are both scouting Gollems. They ain’t built for offense, so there’s no way they can protect the puretree.” 
“Yeah, we couldn’t do that at all! If Sis and I got attacked by the wicked god’s forces, we’d be scrap metal!” Anubis spoke in a lively fashion, but didn’t raise his head from the floor. That posed an issue, for sure. 
“So we need to figure out how to keep the tree safe until it reaches Isenberg... Can’t we just plant it in the city directly?” 
“Can’t do that, Your Highness! There’s a bunch of really scary Skeletons that’d rush into the city and chop it to bits!” Anubis declined my suggestion as he sniffed around the sapling. 
Tsk... I can’t believe that dumb mutt actually shot my plan down. Still, I guess he’s right. That golden palace was surrounded by Skeletons, last I heard. They’d definitely wipe out the sapling before it gets big enough. 
“I guess it’d be best to plant it a good distance away from our foes, then defend it while it slowly purifies more territory. We’ll need a team, though.” 
“Hold on, Touya... Won’t whoever goes have to guard that thing all day?” Sue said as she pouted a bit. I understood why she found the idea unappealing. Spending a whole day fighting non-stop to defend a tree wasn’t exactly anyone’s idea of a good time. 
“A guard rotation would probably be best...” 
“Don’t think ya gotta worry about a rota. Once the venom around the saplin’ is purified, we can send in Moroha, Karina, an’ Takeru to guard the place.” 
Yeah, fair enough. Once the sapling’s been there a little while, we can stay around it without worrying about the venom. I can’t imagine Moroha and the others losing against whatever the wicked god sends, so we should be sorted... Still, I can’t help but imagine Moroha accidentally slicing the tree in half, or Takeru putting a fist-shaped hole through it or something... I should ask Karina to keep an extra close eye on them. 
“Once the purification reaches the enemy stronghold, y’can head down there yerself as well. After that, jus’ drag out the wicked god an’ beat it to a pulp.” 
I didn’t think it’d go quite that smoothly, but we’d basically prepared for it as much as possible. 
“Should we plant the puretree now, then?” 
“It’d be better to wait a bit jus’ ta make sure we got the kinks ironed out. Don’t want any weird side effects or nothin’.” 
That made sense. We didn’t want anything bad to happen after the sapling was planted, since Uncle Kousuke couldn’t just walk over into the venom and sort it out. The plan was set. Once everything was in place, the sapling would go into the [Storage] on Anubis’ collar, and he’d go out to Isengard with Bastet. 
“Should I send Albus over as well, Touya?” 
“Sounds good. We should give them a little defense so they can hold out until I get a [Gate] set up or something.” 
I’d have Anubis take a [Gate] mirror we could pass through, and we would head over once the purification had been going on for a little bit. After that, I’d call on some Frame Gears. The best place for the puretree to be planted was a forest. That way, it’d basically be hiding in plain sight, which would prevent the enemy from finding us out as easily. 
We left Kousuke behind while he worked out the last details of the puretree, then headed out of the greenhouse. 
“Looks like we can finally go on the offensive.” 
“Well, we have to defend the puretree first,” I sighed quietly in response to Yumina. We had to defend before we could attack. It was a bit funny to think about it that way. 
“And then we’re gonna get married! Let’s pull out all the stops!” 
“Relax a little, Sue... I dunno if I wanna make it a flashy affair...” 
“No way! We gotta! It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience! We’ll need to line the streets with a festival and stuff! If we don’t now, then when else could we?!” 
I understood what Sue meant, but still... Well, I wasn’t the one planning the wedding stuff anyway, so that was out of my hands. 
It was a wedding that involved four princesses: Yumina, Lu, Hilde, and (illegitimately) Sakura. There was no way it’d be a quiet affair. My cousin once told me that the man was basically a piece of decoration during a wedding, and it’d be better to just let the woman do as she pleased. Though in this case, it’d be a lot of women... 
Yumina and Sue happily chatted about the wedding as we walked back to the castle. After a short while, they both pulled out their smartphones and started flicking across their screens. 
“Something up?” 
“Software update... Looks like a few new apps got released.” 
“Oh, yeah. If I remember right, the new apps should be the Levitation app, the Speaker app, and Lu’s Cooking Blog app.” 
The mass-produced smartphones regularly received software updates from Babylon. The apps on these phones were magical and were distributed via [Enchant] and [Program]. They allowed the use of certain spells, even if the wielder of the phone didn’t have the aptitude for it. The magic power for the apps would still have to come from the individual’s mana stores, though. 
The Levitation app was handy for carrying heavy stuff (though you couldn’t lift it higher than your head) and the Speaker app was useful for any world leaders who needed to give out speeches or commands to their citizens. 
The leaders of the western continent were especially excited by these apps, since much fewer people on that side of the world could use magic. Obviously, it was just basic utility stuff. We didn’t want to install any dangerous software on their phones or anything. 
The Cooking Blog app was basically just a blog that Lu had set up to share recipes and her commentary on them. It had taken a little while to start, but I was glad it had finally made its debut. The app didn’t have too many recipes on it just yet, though. Just a few simple dishes and desserts. Lu planned to add a few recipes each week, and she also wanted to showcase meals from countries other than Brunhild. It kind of seemed like it’d become less of a cooking blog and more of a world food tour blog. 
Well, whatever the case, it was good that the apps were going down well with everyone. The Weather app was one of our most popular ones, actually. The app gave the temperature averages for the day, when the sun would rise and set, and various information about what kind of weather to expect that day. It was pretty useful for world leaders. They could use it to send out weather warnings, and also prepare for potential natural disasters. A few rainmakers and shamans who claimed to be able to call the rain ended up losing their jobs as a result, though. 
The weather in this world was mostly managed by the spirits, and I happened to have mastery over those spirits. Therefore, there was nothing wrong with me exercising that power to make the weather whatever I wanted it to be... Though it was kind of a pain, so I didn’t interfere regularly or anything. The smaller weather spirits were kind of like preschoolers, so it was hard to herd them. Plus, sometimes they didn’t listen to me... They really felt like unruly kids. 
I left Yumina and Sue at the castle and headed up to Babylon’s research laboratory. 
Apparently, Doc Babylon had come up with a new invention after watching a mecha anime. I was hoping it was something that could make our Frame Gears fly. 
“Hey, Doc, heard you’d completed a new invention?” 
“Heheheh... That’s right, Touya! Behold the fruits of my labor, the inspired creation I came up with after viewing the culture of your world!” Atlantica... or rather, Tica... suddenly brought over a small box-shaped object. It had been a while since I’d seen her, even though she served as the doc’s assistant and the research laboratory’s manager. The box piqued my interest, though. I took it into my hands. It was clearly cardboard, and it had an illustration on the front. It depicted a Knight Baron standing atop a fallen behemoth. I flipped the box to the underside, but there wasn’t anything drawn there. It was just a rough cardboard surface. 
I opened the box up to check the contents. There were several plastic pieces held together by frames that you could just pop out and start assembling. They’d even had the foresight to include an instruction manual! 
I knew exactly what this was. However, I still decided to ask Doc Babylon, just to be sure. 
“...What am I looking at, here?” 
“It’s a plastic model, duh!” 
“...And this is the invention you had me so excited about?!” I screamed and scowled at the doctor, but she just flashed a thumbs-up. 
It’s pretty amazing that they managed to make a scale model after seeing an anime with them, but this isn’t really helpful at all! 
I was honestly pretty amazed. Despite it being a 1/144 scale model, it was fully articulated and the cockpit hatch could open! 
“It’s made out of a resin-like material we’ve infused with ether liquid. It doesn’t require glue. The parts just stick to each other with magic magnetism. It’s pretty much indestructible, too. Even if it got crushed by a carriage, it’d remain intact. It’s the strongest scale model in the world, muahaha!” 
“Why the hell did you do that?!” 
What kind of scale model is this, exactly...? Geez. 
“It doesn’t end there, my friend. Check this out.” 
Doc Babylon up the knight baron and set it atop a mithril circle on the table. Then, a little panel appeared on the circle, which she placed her hand on. At that instant, I felt magic course through the metal surface. 
The Knight Baron on the table started to move. It raised its shield into the air, then drew its sword. And after that, it swung its weapon a few times, gracefully waltzed around the surface, and returned to its original pose. That was pretty impressive... 
“How about them apples? We combined magic particle field resonance with localized magic synchronization, and— Oww! Stop, oww!” 
“...This is what you’ve been dedicating so much time to making?! This is what you’ve been holed up working on?!” 
I mercilessly pinched the tiny doctor’s cheeks, not caring for her previously proud expression. The idiot had decided making toys was a noble pursuit while we were all trying our best to counteract the wicked god! 
“Ahh... A man bullying a little girl... Mmh... Ah... That’s so naughty... How subtly sadistic... Who knows what it could lead to, aaah!” 
“Shut the hell up, you wannabe diddler!” 
I glared daggers in Tica’s direction. I knew it wouldn’t take long for that degenerate to start showing her true nature. 
“Nyooooh... Waith, waith! I didnh’t jusht make thihs to playyhhh!” Doctor Babylon cried out as I smooshed her cheeks. I let go of her, and Tica brought over a small disc-like device with wings. It vaguely resembled a flat airplane. I would’ve appreciated it more if she hadn’t been breathing so heavily and rubbing her thighs together, though... 
Doc Babylon put the small device under the Knight Baron’s feet... It was kind of like a surfboard. 
Oh... Maybe she did consider the flying unit, after all. 
“I thought about a flight module that attached to the back, but that would have limited the Frame Gears it could be attached to. That’s why I came up with this model. There are hooks that dig into the feet to keep it stable. I call it the flight gear.” 
The Knight Baron floated upward slightly thanks to the flight gear underneath it. It was interesting seeing it in action. It did a little loop, floating around and swerving a bit before the miniature jumped down off it to the table’s surface. Then, the flight gear folded its wings inward and fell, the Knight Baron caught it and held it up... It had transformed into a hefty shield. 
“So we can use it for defense as well?” 
“Sure can. The bottom is reinforced with extra-hard phrasium. I’d say it can hold off plenty of attacks... Probably not a particle beam blast, though.” 
It was smart of her to coat the bottom of the flight gear with phrasium, since it reduced the chances of us being shot down by anti-air measures. 
“The only issue is that the flight gear saps magic at a very rapid pace, and it’s a bit difficult to maneuver. Unfortunately, in its current state, it’s not really usable by any of our pilots... On top of that, it can’t reach an especially high altitude, so you can forget about flying among the clouds... Oh, right. Yumina and Leen probably shouldn’t bother using it, either. It’ll definitely move too erratically for their ranged attacks to be useful.” 
I guess it was more accurate to call it something that facilitated floating, rather than flying. It allowed for good speed, at least. Honestly, it was probably more useful for commanders to float above the battlefield and get a good grasp of the situation. 
“I’ve been using the plastic model as a small-scale simulation, but I’m planning to make a full-size test model soon.” 
“...Well, I’m just glad you didn’t make a scale model for no reason.” 
“No reason?! Perish the thought, Touya! This model represents the budding genius that we can inspire in children! I want to make this, I want to build this, I want to change this! We need to show children that science is power, Touya! We need them to just do it! They can’t let their dreams be dreams! They need to make it a shining reality! I have unearthed the multidimensional treasure known as scale models, and I have transposed it unto this world! With this, a whole new generation may be inspired!” Doc Babylon started spouting gibberish as she balled up her fists and went red in the face. My gaze on her just grew colder. I wasn’t buying her story at all. She hadn’t made the scale model to inspire kids, she’d just done it because she wanted to... Still, it was a pretty well-made item... It’d definitely sell well in Olba’s store. 
Hmm... Models from a certain series are called gunpla in my world, but that doesn’t really fly here... Maybe the ones based on Frame Gears should be called frampla? Gearpla? Well, who knows... It’s not like they need to have a particular brand name. Anyone could make these with molds and ether liquid resin, anyway. 
In the days to come, little plastic models of our Frame Gears became the iconic souvenir people bought upon visiting our country. I wasn’t really sure how to feel about scale models of robots being a national staple of Brunhild, but it was beyond my control. 
 
“Gotta admit, it’s surprising.” 
“Yeah, it sure is. His divinity’s actually getting purer than ours at this point... He’ll probably end up having a deeper well of it, too. Guess that’s what happens when God Almighty himself takes an interest in you.” 
Karina, Moroha, and I were in the middle of a forest. More specifically, we were in the middle of a [Prison] I had set up within the forest. I’d just activated my apotheosis and unleashed all the divinity I could. I could feel the power coursing through me, and there were even white particles of light flitting from my body. To be honest, going into that state made me feel on edge. It was like my body wanted to run rampant and unleash all of its power. 
According to Uncle Kousuke, that was because my mind still hadn’t caught up to my body in terms of divinity. Basically, my thoughts were still immature and more mortal-minded... 
“Oh, your hair grew out again.” 
My platinum-blond hair, which was even whiter this time, flopped past my shoulders. That was strange, since I hadn’t experienced hair growth like this since my fight against Gila. 
“Looks like your divinity increased. More than you can control, again. It means your body’s getting closer and closer to true godhood. Honestly, the most amazing thing about you is how you can turn it on and off. Going from mortal to god at the push of a button. It’s kind of a harder process for us to become human.” 
“Well... it’s not like I’m becoming human, right? I started off as one.” 
“Oh... That might be it, yeah. Your body isn’t really human at this point, but you’re definitely a human soul residing in the body of a god. Given that state of being, it’s not to so surprising that you can enter both human and godly states on a whim.” 
My body had been accidentally constructed with materials from the divine realm. Or, more specifically, it was a body formed of God Almighty’s divinity. That would technically make me something like a blood relative to the old man, apparently. 
“I just wanted to be sure of the state of your divinity before we faced off against the wicked god, but it looks like there’s nothing to worry about. You just need to make sure not to screw up. Don’t be careless.” 
“Ahahaha, yeah! You can’t take after God Almighty that closely, you know? Being careless is his special talent!” 
“Pffft, you got that right, Sis!” 
Karina and Moroha laughed alongside each other. I, on the other hand, was not laughing... Why? Because I saw who had appeared behind them prior to their comments. 
“Ahem! Did someone call for the god of carelessness...?” God Almighty cleared his throat, making my two foolish sisters straighten up immediately. 
“Wh-Wh-What are you doing here, sir?” 
“Well, I decided to take a little bit of leisure time. It has been a while since I last saw you all, after all. I must admit, I am quite surprised to be the subject of your comment, though.” 
He wore a soft smile, but his eyes were like that of a hawk. Moroha and Karina both started sweating profusely. I’d certainly never seen them like this before. It was pretty interesting, to be honest. 
“O-Oh, geez! Look at the time! I have an appointment at the training field! Better get to it, see ya!” 
“Wh... Wait! Um... Err... Oh yeah, Crea asked me to go hunt down two, uh... no, three wild birds for her! I’m super busy! Better get hunting! Bye!” 
The two of them sputtered terrible excuses and vanished into thin air. They had fled. 
“Goodness, those girls... They certainly treat things rather lackadaisically, do they not? I do hope they have not caused you any bother.” 
“Ahaha... Well, they help me out a lot, so it pretty much evens out.” 
I reversed my apotheosis and returned to human form. It definitely felt like pressing a switch, just how Moroha described it. Unfortunately, my hair was still past my shoulders. 
“It has been a while, my lad. How have you been?” 
“Not bad, thanks. Is it alright for you to be down here?” 
“Oh, it is no matter at all, sonny. This body is simply a clone-like extension of my real self. The real me is back up in the divine realm, taking care of business. Thus, there are no problems at all.” 
A clone, huh...? Kinda like when he used that avatar to come down last time? That’s pretty nifty. Wonder if I’ll be able to replicate myself like that. 
“I think we should probably head back to the castle. I’d rather talk to you in a comfier environment.” 
“A wise idea. It has been some time since I last met with your young ladyfriends, after all.” 
I opened up a [Gate] and took God Almighty back to the castle. 
 
Back when he first came to the world, he introduced himself as my grandfather, Mochizuki Shinnosuke. The castle staff believed this to be his identity and treated him as they would any other royal. My fiancees, on the other hand... Well, it was a bit different there. Since they were aware he was the god of worlds, effectively God Almighty and the highest-ranking deity, they found it a little hard to interact with him. 
“Now, now, my dears. You need not worry about my status. When I am here, I am but a simple grandfather. Nothing more, nothing less.” 
“O-Okay. Th-Then, welcome to our home, Grandfather.” 
“Indeed, that is good. You should call me that from now on,” God Almighty said as he smiled at Yumina. I wondered if I should start calling him gramps or something. 
He wanted to talk with me alone, so we headed out to the balcony after that short interaction. 
“The reason for my visit is to check up on how the gods are spending their time and also to view the status of this new world. It is no longer within my jurisdiction, after all. Ordinarily, we would have the god of destruction come and remove it from the cycle or just let it wither away on its own, but I do hope that you can rise to the occasion and become its new caretaker.” 
“I just need to beat the wicked god first, right?” 
“That is correct. So long as you remove that obstacle, this world will likely turn out well. You will save an entire world... or, well... two worlds from a grisly fate. I would be quite happy to have you as the caretaker here, though you might find some growing pains for the first one or two thousand years.” 
Apparently, I wouldn’t be put in the caretaker position immediately after dealing with the wicked god. I’d spend a couple hundred years in the mortal world, while making occasional trips to the divine realm. I didn’t exactly want to leave my family behind full-time, so this was the best compromise. 
“There is a second reason I came down here, lad. After this world is secured under your protection and the wicked god is removed... I would like you to establish this place as a haven for the gods. In a sense, I would like this world to become a resort or vacation spot where gods could free themselves from their duties for a while. I will, of course, instate rules and such. I would not allow the gods to reveal their divinity, and they would have to be humans for the duration of their stay, things such as that.” 
“Wh... A resort?! I mean... I guess that’s fair, there are a lot of gods here who are taking it easy as it is...” 
I couldn’t help but think of the freeloading gods in Brunhild... Yeah, they were definitely already using the place as a resort. 
“Even gods need some time off now and then. I doubt they would be able to relax on a world under my watchful gaze, so this is the perfect spot. Though, I would not want them to relax too much...” 
“Well... so long as they relax in moderation, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 
“That can be something we worry about later. I must say, this is rather good,” God Almighty said as he sipped from a cup of green tea that Lu had poured for us both. 
“How long do you think you’ll be staying with us?” 
“A few more days, if that does not impose. After that, I plan on traveling around the world to check on a few things.” 
Check on a few things? Geez... Well, I guess he can’t really be hurt, so it should be fine. 
“Oh wait, there’s the situation in Isengard...” 
“Ah yes, I know of it. That divine venom, yes? It is indeed lethal to the divine, but it does not affect gods of a higher echelon such as myself. It would not do a thing to me, so you need not worry.” 
“Huh?! But I heard that the more divinity you had, the stronger the effect...” 
“Indeed, that is the case... But only for gods of a lower status. The divine venom was originally synthesized by accident, but its creator was a lower-ranked god of medicine. It certainly could not affect anyone with higher divinity than its original creator.” 
As a rule, gods that governed specific things were lower-ranked gods. Karen, the goddess of love, was an example of that. When a god ascended to a higher echelon, they took on multiple duties and traits, so it was no longer possible to refer to them as the “god of X” in a truly specific manner. Even God Almighty wasn’t just the god of worlds. He was the god of all other kinds of things, like light and dark. Beginnings and ends. He probably had all kinds of divinity brewing inside of him. 
“...So wait, you could probably just purify the venom, couldn’t you?” 
“Of course I could, my boy. I could do it in seconds. But what good would it be for you if your test examiner started filling in all the answers?” 
“I guess you have a point...” 
He was right. I shouldn’t have even brought it up. Besides, Uncle Kousuke was offering plenty of support anyway... Frankly, I thought I was getting a little too much aid from that guy. Still... it wasn’t exactly cheating. It was more like I was equipped with a top-of-the-line tutor to help me prep for my exams. 
“Ohhh! It’sh true! God Almighty’sh here!” 
A tiny drunken goblin shambled out from nowhere. It was the god of alcohol, Mochizuki Suika. She looked absolutely hammered. 
“Oh, hello there. Are you well?” 
“Hell, hic, yeah I am! Drinkin’ aahhhll night. And drinkin’ aaahhll day! Hic! Lotsa booze down here!” Suika laughed, cackling in a shrill and generally unappealing manner. She was absolutely sloshed. 
“Letsh have a little, hic, sip more... This one, hic, is from the mountainsh of Roadmareh... It’sh got a bit of a kick, hic! But it’sh shoo nice... Touyaaaa, bring me snacksh!!” Suika roared as she pulled a sake cup out of absolutely nowhere and started pouring alcohol into it, so I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and picked her up like a cat. 
“You little twerp... Where’d you get this booze from, huh?” 
“Hic! I, uhhm... went and shpoke to Audrey... Got shome booze in exchange for helping, hic, her kill some monsters... Eeehehehh...” 
Audrey? Oh... Isn’t that the name of the Doge of Roadmare?! Did you seriously go all the way there just for something to drink?! Ugh... I definitely owe the government of Roadmare an apology now, don’t I? What a hideous little gremlin you are... 
Even in human form, a god was still a god. Suika was nowhere near Moroha or Takeru’s level, but she was easily more than a match for some monsters. 
“Hoh... This is indeed a good drink. Touya, do you perhaps have any snacks?” 
“Wait... you’re actually drinking? I mean, I do have some, but... Buh... Wait here...” 
I brought edamame, sashimi, cold tofu, yakitori, and some other booze-appropriate snacks out to the balcony table. 
“Don’t eat too much, we have dinner later.” 
“Indeed, we shall not.” 
“Heeeh... In, hic, deed! Weee shahll noht.” 
God Almighty and Suika both raised their cups, and a sudden cheery tune began blowing in from nowhere. I knew the source right away, of course... It was Sousuke. 
The melody was a certain song about drinking all year round and all the reasons to... 
“Ooh. This looks fun, you know?” 
“Aye, I’ll say.” 
“Oh, nice to see you both.” 
Karen and Kousuke showed up. I really wished that they would learn to use the door, since their teleportation was a little annoying... It wasn’t like I could do anything to stop them, but still! Moroha and Karina probably wouldn’t dare come see God Almighty after what they’d said earlier and Takeru was training with Ende until nightfall, so at least there wouldn’t be any more surprise visitors. 
I decided to leave the gods to their own devices on the balcony as I headed back inside. But when I walked back into the room, I noticed Moroha and Karina quietly peeking out at the balcony. Those morons clearly wanted in on the festivities. 
“I don’t think he’s actually mad. Just take these over, and I’m sure he’ll forget about it.” 
I pulled out two high-grade Belfast wine bottles from [Storage], along with a fancy cheese board. Then, I passed them over to the girls. 
“Oh... Thanks.” 
“What a good little bro you are!” 
The two of them smiled and headed out to the balcony. Honestly... they were nothing but trouble. 
“Hic! Ohh! Look, Karina and Moroha’re heeere! Hic, wait! That’sh an amahzing wine! Lemme sip! Lemme sip!” 
I could hear Suika’s grating voice even though the doors were closed. I had a feeling dinner would probably end up being rowdy... 
Well, whatever. I shrugged, then headed off to the kitchen so I could discuss the evening’s menu with Crea.