Infinite Stratos - Volume 9 - Chapter 3

Chapter III: Bubble Daydream 

“Ugh... They chewed me up and spit me out...” 
It was still before noon, but I was a wreck as I trudged along the... Well, officially, it was the “relaxation area,” but really you’d just call it a lawn. There were seats and benches scattered around, with girls sitting on them, all enjoying their lunches. 
“What am I gonna do for lunch...” Probably have it with the usual group, I guessed. 
“Ichi—” 
“Found you, Ichika!” I felt something light climb onto my back. It was Rin. 
“What the hell are you doing?!” 
“Hehehe. You were lost, and I found you! You should be grateful!” 
I was about to argue with her, but out of the corner of my vision, I noticed Tatenashi. 
“Heeeey, Tatenashi! Let’s all have lunch together!” 
“Eh? Um, uhh...” For some reason, she suddenly seemed like she was thrown off balance. 
“C’mon, let’s go!” She tensed up even more as I took her hand and began to walk off. Silently, she followed, looking down at the ground and with her cheeks beginning to redden. What was up with her? Did she think it made her look like she was lost or something? A short way away, the cadets were waiting at a circle of seats spread out on the lawn. 
“Oh, there you are.” Hearing her sister’s voice made Tatenashi even more embarrassed. 
“Ichika, why are you holding her hand?” Houki immediately interrogated. 
“Why don’t you bother Rin instead? Maybe figure out why she’s climbing on my damn back!” 
“Beautiful views from up here today!” 
“What are you, a meteorologist?!” Reluctantly, she hopped off, in a fluid catlike motion. “You’re still so light.” 
Especially in the chest area. 
“Ichikaaaa, I’m gonna kill you if you’re thinking what I think you are.” 
I wasn’t! Really! 
“Anyway, Tatenashi, let’s sit down.” 
“Umm... But I’m a second year, and...” It wasn’t like Tatenashi to turn down something like this. 
“Doesn’t matter! I’m sure everyone’s looking forward to your cooking.” 
Tatenashi cooked really well. I wasn’t a slouch myself, but I still couldn’t compete. Maybe she’d teach me? I’d have to ask her later, when things calmed down. 
“Really?” 
“Yeah, let’s all share. We can even feed each—” 
“Yes!” I hadn’t even finished extending the offer to Tatenashi when Cecilia thrust a bite toward me. What was going on here? 
“Relax, relax. Let’s have a cup of tea or something and calm down first.” 
“Yes!” This time, it was Charl holding out a thermos full of tea. 
“Gah! Cool it! Or at least, let other people cool it! Tatenashi’s still standing, for goodness sake!” 
I beat back the rush from the others, and made a space for Tatenashi next to me. 
“Hold on a moment.” There weren’t enough seats for all of us, so I spread out my handkerchief on the ground for Tatenashi. “Here you are.” 
“Thanks...” 
I felt like I was being a bit showy, but I couldn’t just make her sit directly on the grass. I could see the grimaces on the faces of everyone else as I did it, though. 
“We really need to do something about your thing for older women, Ichika.” 
“C’mon, Houki. I’m just being polite. I’m not gonna make a girl sit on the grass.” 
“If you’re so concerned about treating a lady right, I could use a manservant.” 
“I’m nowhere near posh enough for that.” 
“Hey, Ichika, why not treat me to a parfait later? I’ve been hankering for one from San Diego, the place by the station.” 
“C’mon, Rin! You still haven’t even paid me back for the ones in middle school!” 
“There’s a finishing school for young gentlemen, Ichika. We could try it out together.” 
“If I want to learn how to be a gentleman I can just try to imitate you, Charl.” 
“Be my shield on the battlefield.” 
“That’s beyond just being a gentleman, Laura.” 
“No fair only doing it for my sister.” 
“Sorry, Kanzashi, but I had to do something.” 
While I was dealing with them, Tatenashi, the center of the mess, snapped a fan open—of which it read “fairness.” 
“I see. Why don’t we do this? For the next hour, each of you gets a private ten-minute lunch with Ichika. That way, you all get to enjoy yourselves.” 
At once, everyone brightened up. 
“That sounds like a great idea!” The first to speak up was Houki. Her eyes glittered as she clutched her lunchbox. 
“Makes sense. I like it,” Rin agreed, too, and the other girls nodded. “Let’s choose an order by playing rock-paper-scissors, okay?” 
A fist-wave, a second fist-wave, and then they showed their hands. 
“All right, I’m first!” Rin cheered. 
“So I’m to be second... Very well,” remarked Cecilia as her hair waved in the breeze. 
“I’m third. Could be worse.” Houki stood with her arms crossed. 
“...Fourth,” Kanzashi half-whispered. 
“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m bringing up the rear,” Laura muttered, and Charl whispered in her ear. 
“Hmm? Hmm. I see. That’s a good idea.” They’d decided on something. What agreements women come to in private are none of a man’s business. 
“Hmm? What about you, Tatenashi?” I’d noticed that Tatenashi didn’t participate, and she sighed when questioned. 
“Sorry. I’d love too, but I’m honestly too busy.” 
“Really? It’s just a few minutes.” Something was up. This definitely wasn’t the Tatenashi I was used to. Oh well. 
“All right, let’s get started! Ichika, let’s sit on that bench.” 
“Okay.” 
Rin dragged me off toward the bench, quickly plopping her lunch box in her lap and popping the top open. 
“Ta-dah! My sweet-and-spicy cashew chicken!” 
“Ooh, it looks good.” 
“It doesn’t just look good, it is good!” She seemed pretty proud of herself. Even puffing out what little chest she had as she spoke. 
The boyish look isn’t that bad, I guess. Since what’d happened a few days back, I was really starting to notice the girls, but Rin was still my precious second childhood friend. 
“Anyway, let me feed you.” She took a piece of chicken in her chopsticks. “Say ‘ahh!’” 
Ugh. This was gonna be a problem. 
“Nah, I’m fine. People are watching. I can feed myself.” 
“Seriously? Now you decide to be embarrassed by it? C’mon, open wide!” 
“Really, I can feed myself.” 
“I told you, open wide!” 
“Mmph!” I’d clamped my mouth shut to show my refusal. Shut as tight as Amaterasu’s cave. 
“So you don’t want to eat my cooking?” Her eyes gleamed as threateningly as swords. 
“I’ll eat it, I’ll eat it! Mmm.” I quickly stuffed a piece of chicken in my mouth, but Rin’s eyes gleamed even brighter with dissatisfaction. 
“I’m going to feed you! Open wide!” A piece of chicken was thrust at me like a lancepoint. 
“That’s dangerous!” 
“Don’t try to get away!” Rin thrust. I dodged. Rin thrust. I dodged. This happened over and over, dozens of times, until her pigtails were standing on end in frustration. “Ichikaaaaa!” 
“Yeah?!” 
The impact cannons of Rin’s IS Shenlong phased into existence on either side. 
“If you dodge left or right, you’ll die— Just eat my food already!” 
Ugh, she was taking this seriously. Rin shoved a piece of chicken straight forward. As it entered my mouth, I felt shots from the cannon blow past either side of my head. I could feel my back get covered in a cold sweat. 
“So? How is it?” she asked as she gave me a more-than-perfect, 12/10 smile. 
“Ymmh... It’s... good, Rin.” 
“That’s nice.” 
And then, her 10 minutes were up. 
“I’m quite sure you’ve been looking forward to this. Next, you’ll have the privilege of tasting Cecilia Alcott’s cooking!” 
I could practically hear the applause. We were at a table in the cafeteria, laid out with a fancy silk tablecloth which must have been her own. Cecilia’s cooking has gotten a lot better, so I guess I don’t need to worry. It wouldn’t be as bad as before. I don’t think I’d ever felt so much relief. 
“And today’s menu is...” 
I heard an orchestra hit. An actual orchestra hit. Not just some kind of sound effect like in a comic book, I swear I heard it. 
“Uh, Cecilia? What’s in the bowl?” I glanced suspiciously at the lidded ramen bowl she presented. 
“Aha. I’ve come to enjoy cooking!” 
Ah, that explains it. No, wait, that explains nothing! I heard it again. 
“And why are there antennae poking out?” 
Cecilia chuckled and said, “Open it and see!” 
It was some kind of crustacean. At least, it didn’t look like an actual bug. So that was okay-ish. Summoning up all of my courage, I lifted the lid, and a waft of steam floated up. 

“Gaaaaaaaah! My eyes, my eyes! It’s not just hot! It hurts! My eyes hurt! What’s in this?!” 
“It’s tom yum goong. I’m not sure if you know this, but ‘tom’ means boiled, ‘yum’ is the spice mix, and ‘goong’ means shrimp.” 
I knew that much! I meant, what was making it smell like that?! It was spicy! Even just the steam was too spicy! 
“I cooked the finest Ise lobster, along with the best squid, oysters, abalone, salmon, and sea urch—” 
“I know, I know! But why is it so red?!” The tom yum goong was bright red. Crimson, even. I could almost see it glimmer. 
This soup in front of me is burning red! Its shimmering glint tells me to dig in! 
“I’ve heard capsaicin gives you energy, so I used plenty of ghost peppers.” 
“Ghost peppers?! You mean the hottest ones in the world?!” 
“And then I spiced it up a bit with a concentrated extract, as well.” 
She honestly looked pleased with herself. I could tell she was telling the truth when she said she enjoyed cooking now, so she didn’t mean any harm by it. And while things may have definitely improved, she’d done what every beginner chef does when they start to get their bearings—she’d experimented. And... There’s no way I can eat this! 
The red one was, uh, way more than three times spicier. A literal red comet. The gods of death were lining up now. Covered in blackness, but burning bright red. 
“Am I a dying man...” 
“Huh?” 
“Oh, nothing.” Cecilia smiled broadly as I lifted the spoon, gingerly carrying a sip of soup to my mouth. 
“Ugh... My fingers hurt already...” 
“What are you waiting for? Go right ahead!” 
If this was how I died, so be it. Buddha have mercy! I dumped the spoonful of red, red soup into my mouth. 
“GWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” It was so spicy it hurt! It hurt so much, like with the intensity of a thousand suns. The extra-super-spicy soup spread through my mouth, scorching my nostrils, burning my tongue, destroying my throat, and stabbing at my stomach. “Graack! Ghg! Grah!” 
The worst part was the steam entering my lungs and choking me. Tears fell from my eyes. 
“Well, well! I appreciate the tears of gratitude!” 
“Ah, haha, ahahahaha...” I couldn’t taste the seafood at all. Somehow, though, I’d survived my 10 minutes with Cecilia. 
“You’re late, Ichika!” 
I was still gasping for air as I met up with Houki in the dining hall. Just breathing brought fire-hot wafts of steam back and I couldn’t speak up. 
“Sorry,” I barely managed to gasp. 
“H-Hey. You’re sweating like a pig. Are you okay?” Houki could tell something was wrong, and leaned forward to peer at me worriedly. 
Ba-dum. For just a moment, my heart leapt. 
“I... I’hhm fine...” I shied back in embarrassment, but she followed even closer. As she did, the swell of her chest tenting her gym clothes swayed alluringly. 
“What happened? Be honest.” 
“Well, what happened was...” I explained myself. 
“Ugh. Just hearing about it is making my own tongue tingle.” 
“Yeah... So, uh, I don’t think I’m even going to be able to taste whatever you have for me...” It wasn’t anything either of us were to blame for, but I still sunk my head apologetically. “Sorry, Houki.” 
“Well, um... Actually... Really, I think I’ll have plenty of chances to show off my cooking. It’s okay.” She seemed a little embarrassed herself. I kind of found it cute. 
I’m such a weirdo. As I self-critiqued, Houki clapped her hands together and said, “Ooh! I have an idea! Hold on a sec!” 
She raced to the lunch counter. I panted like a dog as I waited, trying to cool down my tongue. 
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Houki had somehow managed to find a shaved ice this late in the year. It was a beautiful cup of snow with sweet adzuki beans and green tea syrup. Just looking at it cooled me down. “I talked them into making this. Have some, it should tone down the spice a bit.” 
“Houki.” 
“Wh-What?” 
“Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome,” Houki laughed shyly. Seeing her smile sent my heart racing again. 
“We don’t have much time, so I guess I’d better eat quick!” I dug into the shaved ice to distract myself from thinking of her as a woman. 
“H-Hey. If you eat it that quick, you’re going to—” 
The world froze. 
“Gah, my head!” I’d given myself brain freeze. First my stomach, then my head! Was this some kind of torture? “Ughhhh...” 
“It’s because you ate it so quick. Jeez.” Houki got up close to me and rested her palm on my forehead. “That must have hurt. You don’t need to push yourself so hard.” 
“I guess...” Her kindness—and her breasts directly in my line of sight—made my heart skip a beat. 
“Just relax.” 
“Okay.” Grateful for her concern, I slowly finished the shaved ice. And that’s how my 10 minutes with Houki went. 
“And it’s finally my turn. You must be getting pretty full, Ichika.” Kanzashi held out a wafer pastry. “When you’re tired, you need sugar.” 
“Sugar, huh. Yeah, you’re right. Pastry’s a sweet way to get enough of that.” I nearly rolled my eyes at my own pun. 
Cough. Cough, cough. Eh? Kanzashi’s face was expressionless as she coughed up pieces of her own wafer. 
“You’re so funny, Ichika.” 
“Really?” 
“Yeah...” 
My angel! My own angel, hath come down from heaven! 
“I think you’re the first person I’ve met here who likes my jokes.” 
“You’re glowing, Ichika.” 
“Thanks so much, Kanzashi!” Reflexively, I hugged her around the shoulders. 
“Hyaa!” She must have been surprised by the sudden contact, as her voice wavered while she tried to duck out of my arms. “No fair, Ichika...” 
“Mm? Hmm. Sorry?” 
“Why do you have to be so hesitant...” 
Uhh, just because. 
“Oh, and— Try this.” Kanzashi pulled a small jar out of her bag and showed it to me. 
“What’s in there, jam? Honey, maybe?” 
“It’s something I’m working on. Super Energy Gel #3, I call it the ‘Oomph Shot.’ You can see more about it on the web.” 
She pulled up a projection display and opened up a page. Wow, she really did have a page made for it! 
“Ring-ring-ring! Ring-ring-ring! It’s morning, morning, a bright new day. But you overslept! There’s no time for breakfast! Well, that’s okay, because you just need a spoonful of Sarashiki-brand Oomph Shot! Glug, glug! A full day’s worth of vitamins, amino acids, and calories! And it’s so tasty! Give it a try!” 
The page had a video of Kanzashi putting on a one-woman puppet show. Her deadpan delivery almost made me crack up. And not in a good way. 
“I’ve been working hard on this. I think I could sell the formula to a manufacturer.” 
“I, uh, I see. I hope that works out for you.” I managed to not tell her that deleting the movie would improve her chances. 
“Anyway, Ichika. Try it.” 
“Oh, sure.” I opened the jar and looked at the glistening gel inside. I wasn’t really sure about this. Nervously, I poked at the fluorescent pink candylike goop with a spoon and watched the tendrils which refused to snap as I lifted a bite up. This takes a different kind of guts than Cecilia’s! 
Stare. Don’t just stare at me silently! Staaaaaaare. 
“Here goes...” 
Slurp... Glug. 
“It’s sweet! Really sweet!” 
“It’s important to get enough carbohydrates.” I could feel the supersaturated sugar crystals coat my tongue. 
“Yeah... This is a hella sweet idea.” 
“...Hahaha!” I was shivering at the overwhelming sweetness of it, but that was still enough to get Kanzashi to laugh. Only her smile made those 10 minutes feel like a respite. 
“Hmm. Next is Laura, back on the yard.” I ran there and met her, and Charl, as well. “Hmm? Why are both of you here?” 
As I asked curiously, Laura elbowed Charl and replied, “Well, um. I thought that if I combined my time with Laura’s, we could have twenty minutes.” 
That didn’t seem like it fit the rules, but Charl’s laugh was enough to pass it off. 
“I will point out that it was Charlotte’s idea. Not mine.” 
“C’mon, Laura! It was barely out of my mouth when you agreed to it!” 
“Don’t tell him that!” 
“Plus, you didn’t bring a real lunch, so you couldn’t really do much by yourself anyway.” 
“Ugh...” Charl had her dead to rights, and she knew it. 
“So what did you bring, Laura?” 
“This!” She thrust out a vacuum-packed something at me. 
“...What is it?” 
“Rations! Proper Bundeswehr military rations!” 
“Are those tasty?” 
“The taste doesn’t matter!” She was dodging the question. 
“So they’re not.” 
“Quit complaining! I had wanted to bring meat!” 
“Meat?” Something was giving me a bad feeling about this. “What kind of meat?” 
“Snake... meat...” Was I really going to have to eat snake meat on field day? 
“It’s nutritious!” Anyway, it seemed like she hadn’t managed to make it. So she ended up with just rations, and Charl was honestly helping her out here. 
“And I made this.” Charl brought out a basket with an assortment of fruit in it. 
“Ooh, apple rabbits.” 
“And orange cats, and a blueberry pie.” I’d had my sugar needs not just squared away, but cubed away, but I still wasn’t about to pass this up. “And, here. I brought tea.” 
She poured it from her bottle into a cup, and I took the cup and drank. 
“Is this... Darjeeling? No, it’s close, but something else.” 
Charl giggled, “It’s my own blend.” 
She smiled. I smiled too. Watching us, Laura scowled, then mumbled, “Hmph. Why do I have to be left out...” 
Laura was sulking. Thinking about how cute she was when she sulked, I gave her an apple rabbit. 
“Huh?” Surprised by the suddenness, Laura’s cheeks flushed red. 
“Haha. You’re cute, Laura.” 
“Wh-Wh-What?!” I was getting back for Rin insisting on feeding me. 
“Lucky you, Laura. Ichika, can you... Can you say that about me too?” 
“Well, uh... It’s really embarrassing if you ask for it...” 
“Huh...” Charl was dejected, and Laura was shyly blushing. And that’s how 20 relaxing minutes with them passed. 
“Phew...” I let out a sigh of relief as lunch wrapped up. 
“Hahaha, good work out there.” I felt a cold sports drink press into my cheek. 
“That was exhausting.” I glared at the cause of my suffering, but Tatenashi pretended not to notice. 
“You don’t have to say it out loud.” 
“Fine, fine. Anyway, uh, Tatenashi?” There was something I wanted to ask her. 
“What?” 
“Did you get enough rest? Didn’t you get dragged off to do something?” 
As I spoke, her expression changed to one of surprise, and she asked, “Wait, you saw that?” 
“Yep.” 
“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice...” 
“Eh?” 
“Oh, nothing. Anyway, Ichika. Did you get enough to eat?” Now that she mentioned it, I hadn’t really had a meal. I must have been more worried about getting some rest than enough food in me. 
“Well, I’m still a little hungry.” 
“I figured you would be. Here.” She held out a rice ball to me. It smelled like all the delights of fall. Chestnut, shiitake, oysters, carrot, burdock root, and konjac, with lightly caramelized soy sauce. It looked great. 
“Want it?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Well, then, what should I have you do to earn it?” She gave me an impish wink, and I grinned back. That Tatenashi. 
“Please?” 
“Fine, fine. I’ll give it to you.” Huh. That was easier than I expected. Nonplussed, I looked into her face. 
“Wh-What?” 
“Are you sure there isn’t some kind of catch?” 
Thwap. Her fan caught me over the head. 
“You’re a rude one. If you’re going to be like that, I’ll take it back.” 
Munch, munch, munch! I stuffed it into my mouth before she could make good on her threat. 
“Slow down! At least try to taste it.” 
“Mmf.” 
“Here’s some tea.” 
Glug, glug. Ahhh! That really hit the spot! Grateful, I caught her hand. 
“That was amazing!” 
“Really? I’ll have to make it again for you sometime.” 
“Thanks!” I nodded energetically as the bell began to chime. “We need to get going!” 
With her hand still in mine, I set off. 
“Ah...” 
“Huh? What’s up?” 
“Oh, nothing...” 
Tatenashi seemed nervous for some reason. I could feel her fidget and shiver. 
“Do you have to pee or something?” 
Smack! She slapped me across the cheek. 
 
“That hurt...” 
“You get what you deserve, Ichika.” 
The first event after lunch was the costume change race. 
“What’s this supposed to be, anyway?” I asked. 
“Exactly what it’s called?” 
“Don’t we have a board of ethics or something? How’d it get past them?” 
“Why wouldn’t it have?” Tatenashi raised an eyebrow. 
“It’s, uhh... Ugh, you know damn well why.” 
“Mm? Really? You’re telling me you don’t want to watch girls change?” Tatenashi gave me a cheeky grin, and snapped her fan open to reveal the word “lust.” “Ichika, you pervert.” 
“I am not!” 
“Oh, you’re just a garden-variety creep then?” 
“Doesn’t that just mean the same thing?!” 
Kaoruko had snuck up on us while we were going back and forth, and chimed in, “All right, that’s enough of the old married couple act. Get back to announcing.” 
“Who are you calling a—” 
“A married couple?!” For some reason, Tatenashi’s face was bright red. 
“Anyway, I’m going back to taking pictures! Ciao!” 
“Hold it right there, Kaoruko!” 
I jumped up to keep Tatenashi from chasing after her. 
“C’mon, you can’t leave me here alone! How am I gonna announce all by myself?” 
“Hmph...” 
I quickly slung my arms around her waist, and she glared down at my hands. 
“So, how long are you going to keep touching me?” 
“Oh, just, uhh...” I needed to think of an excuse, and fast. “Y-You have a really nice waist!” 
Clang! The steel knuckles of an IS slammed into my face. 
“Owwww!” 
“Quit making a fool out of yourself and sit down!” 
Rubbing the bruise that was beginning to form on my cheek, I took my seat and looked down at the field. 
“You’re so mean, President Tatenashi,” I whimpered. 
“It’s your own fault for being so clingy!” 
“You two sure I wasn’t right?” 
I glanced down at my mic and noticed it was switched on. 
“Tee-hee.” Kaoruko stuck out her tongue. 
“Kaorukoooooo!” Tatenashi was mad enough to bring out her whole IS, with its Vital Spiral gatling gun gripped in its right hand. “Stand still so I can hit you!” 
“Whoa! Be careful with that thing!” Even as Kaoruko danced out of the way of the bullets, her shutter was snapping as it captured the perfect picture of an enraged Tatenashi. “Perfect! Keep that face!” 
It was really something to watch, how she managed to keep out of the way while keeping her camera safe. I didn’t expect her to be so nimble. 

“Stop that, Sarashiki. You’re damaging school property.” Chifuyu smacked Tatenashi over the head. Hearing the effects of gatling gunfire described as damaging instead of destroying really reminded me that I was at IS Academy. 
“But, Ms. Orimura!” 
“Quit complaining.” Another smack finally shut her up. 
“I’ll get you for this, Kaoruko...” The perfect line, and the perfect expression, for a villain. She was even chewing her thumbnail in rage. 
“Tatenashi.” 
“Grrrr... What?” 
“That was perfect.” 
“...Do you want me to hit you again?” Sorry, sorry. “Ahem. Anyway, let’s go to the costume change race!” 
Her grip on her mic tightened. She was back in announcer mode, and even more hyped up than she’d been all day. 
“Er... Anyway, this is Orimura Ichika!” 
“And this is Sarashiki Tatenashi! Yay!” Tatenashi sprung into explaining the event. “First, each team will randomly draw an outfit to change into, and head to the changing zone to dress up! A teammate will help them change. Of course, you’ll only be able to watch from the shoulders up, but we’ve got lights set up to make sure you can get an idea of what happens behind the curtain!” 
She was really getting into this, and the crowd was following along. 
“Wait, what?! No one told me about that second part!” 
“I have no intention of participating in something so insulting to a lady’s pride.” 
“Not gonna happen!” 
“That’s pretty embarrassing...” 
“I’m out.” 
Amidst the crowd of contestants dropping out, only Laura raised her hand. “I’ll do it.” 
As the others turned to gape at her in surprise, Tatenashi continued, “Remember, first place in this event is worth 500 points!” 
Enough to make everything they’d done so far irrelevant. 
“Ugh, looks like I have to!” 
“Hmph! I will not be defeated!” 
“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!” 
“If I have to do it, I’ll make it worth my while!” 
“I’ll win.” 
They may not have liked what they were about to do, but they sure weren’t gonna do it poorly. 
Laura looked on with surprise and said, “Hmm. I’m impressed by your self-confidence.” 
“Well of course I am!” Rin fired back. 
“And now, each competitor will announce their assistant!” 
At Tatenashi’s prompting, Houki spoke up, “My partner is Shijuuin Kagura. Another member of the kendo club. I’ve heard her family is of the old peerage.” 
Shijuuin looked every inch the part of a proper Japanese noblewoman, certainly, and her gentle voice matched as well, “The past is the past. It’s an honor to have been chosen.” 
She primly bowed her head, elegantly perfect down to the finest detail. 
Next, it was Cecilia’s turn to introduce her partner. 
“My own second will be Kagami Nagi, known for her speed. Her parents own a sushi restaurant. I’ve had the chance to visit, myself, and their egg custard is simply to die for.” 
Kagami finally cut her off, “That’s long enough, Cecilia! You don’t need to tell them my whole life story! Ugh, this is so embarrassing...” 
Cecilia did sneak in that she was on the track squad, though. So that’s why her legs were so toned. 
“Okay, okay, my turn now! My roommate Tina Hamilton will be helping me out. Right, Tina?” 
Next to Rin was a blonde girl whose gym clothes barely held in a super size bust. She stretched out her arms, and her breasts jiggled. 
“C’mon, Rin. Can’t you come up with something better than that? You didn’t even say anything about me. Come to think of it, you’ve never introduced me to Ichika, either!” 
“C’mon, Tina. It just hasn’t been the right time.” 
“Okay, so when will it be?” 
Their back-and-forth didn’t take anything away from their warmups, though. It seemed like they really were good friends. 
“Um... I asked Tanimoto to help me out... Wait, what?!” 
Where Tanimoto had been next to Charl, there was now just a scrap of paper. 
“Um... ‘Sorry, Charlotte. I can’t do this. Don’t try to find me. I asked Kishihara to help you instead. Tanimoto Yuko.’ Wait, whaaaat?” 
As Charl began to panic, a girl leapt onto her back. 
“Hey-hey-hey! It’s Kishihara Riko, the girl you love to hate! Call me Rikorin!” While the entire crowd decided that was a pretty accurate description, Kishihara bunched up Charl’s shirt and inhaled deeply. “Sniff, sniff! Charlotte, your sweat smells great!” 
“Eek! Hey, wait, stop— Ahhh!” It took Houki and Rin together to pull her off of Charl. 
“I’m next, then.” Laura puffed out her chest. It wasn’t really smaller than Rin’s, but it definitely wasn’t bigger either, so I’m not sure why she was emphasizing it like that. “My partner’s figure is as modest as her personality! It’s Yatake Sayuka!” 
With a blood vessel in her forehead nearly ready to burst, Yatake stepped forward, an arm over her breasts. 
“You heard Laura’s introduction, even if you probably don’t believe she said it out loud. I’m so normal it’s remarkable!” 
The most remarkable thing about her was probably her willingness to say that about herself, but let’s not dwell on it. Last but not least was Kanzashi with Miss Casual, a choice which was somewhere between “a given” and “obvious.” 
“Hey there! I’m Nohotoke Honne, age sixteen! My three sizes are ninety-one, fifty-seven, eighty—” 
“Honne, let’s not establish that as the baseline.” Kanzashi, worried about her own figure, elbowed Miss Casual. 
“Oof!” She hopped in surprise, sending her ample breasts—usually concealed under at least her uniform, if not her floofy pajamas—swinging. 
“Uhh...” Not knowing quite where I should look, I snuck a peek over at Tatenashi. 
“Mm? Where are you looking?” 
“Oh, nowhere!” 
“Mm-hmm. Hmm? Really?” I could feel her eyes drilling into me. 
Before she could say any more, I dove back into announcing, “Anyway, here we go!” 
At the sound of the starting pistol, 12 girls leapt into action. As I watched, I wondered why bloomers left the leg bare all the way up to the groin, and also where I should be looking. 
“Aaaaand off to an early lead are Houki and Kagura!” Tatenashi’s excitement was audible, and the change from her usual cool and collected style just made it even more contagious. 
As I was thinking about that, Houki and her teammate reached the drawing box first. 
“I drew Ling’s clothes! It says... ‘Cheongsam (mini).’ What’s the ‘mini’ part supposed to mean?!” Houki shot a disapproving glare at Rin, only to be met with a look of surprise. 
“It means miniskirt, what else would it mean?” 
“Don’t act so blasé about it! I-If I wear that, they’ll see everything!” 
Rin tried to calm Houki down as she drew her own outfit. 
“I drew Cecilia. It says... Huh? Just a dress?” She spread out the dress with a confused look on her face. It was a blue evening gown that would look great on Cecilia. The color was deep and vivid, with elegant lace trimming. 
“Oh my, you’re quite lucky to have drawn mine.” 
“How’s that lucky? It’s gonna be wicked tough to run in! It doesn’t fit me at all...” 
“That’s right, your chest— Ow!” 
“Don’t say that out loud!” 
Cecilia rubbed the welt Rin’s karate chop left on her forehead and drew her own outfit. 
“Mine’s... Oh? I seem to have drawn Houki.” Opening up the bag it was in, she pulled out a red and white bundle of fabric—the clothing of a shrine maiden. “So this is sort of a Japanese nun’s habit?” 
“Kind of.” 
“It’s a shame they didn’t make it blue and white instead.” 
“What are you talking about?! Don’t you understand anything about wabi-sabi?” 
As they squabbled, Charl drew a slip of paper from the box. 
“A uniform? This must be...” 
“That’s right. The uniform of the Schwarze Hasen. You must be glad you drew that, right?” Laura beamed with pride as Charl’s eyes widened into saucers. 
“I’m not sure if this will fit...” 
I could almost hear the sound of something snapping. 
“Charlotte, you’ve been a good friend. But now, you have to die.” 
“What?!” 
“I won’t forgive that.” 
Snapping her head to the side, Laura drew her own outfit. 
“A princess knight? What’s that? Princesses and knights are different things.” 
As Laura stared in confusion at the miniskirt-and-breastplate ensemble, Kanzashi’s eyes lit up. 
“A princess knight is almost like a valkyrie! Like Chifuyu is nowadays, Brynhildr herself!” 
“Wh-What?!” 
“Gallant, graceful, beautiful, and invincible.” 
“I see! It’s perfect for me, then! I’ll wear it!” 
Kanzashi did her best to keep up her smile as Laura nodded enthusiastically, then opened up the outfit she’d be wearing. 
“Is this yours, Charlotte?” 
“Yeah! It’s my kitty pajamas.” 
“...Clever.” 
“Huh?” 
“Clever. As I’d expect from a Frenchwoman. But maybe a bit too clever?” 
“Huh?” Charl was visibly confused by Kanzashi’s frustration. 
Anyway, everyone had drawn what they were going to wear. Which left only the changing to be done... 
“All right! Get behind the curtains, and get ready to strip!” Tatenashi was really enjoying herself. What was I gonna do? 
 
This is my chance to show Ichika I can look stunning in absolutely anything! Feast your eyes upon Cecilia Alcott as a shrine maiden! Cecilia nimbly dipped inside the curtain, and spread out the outfit she was to change into. But suddenly, just as she slipped her fingers under the waistband of her bloomers to pull them off, the shrine maiden’s outfit was pulled back out and the curtain was raised. 
“......?!” 
“Hold on, Cecilia! Don’t leave me behind! We’re supposed to do this as a team.” It was her partner, Kagami Nagi. 
“I know, I know! Just let that back down!” Cecilia shouted as she embarrassedly pulled her bloomers back up. 
“Sorry, sorry.” 
Cecilia had always thought that, although Nagi had always been friendly and helpful, she lacked a certain amount of feminine grace. 
“Ahem. Now, if you could help me with this...” 
“Okay!” Nagi began to pull Cecilia’s clothes off. Her breasts bounced under her lacy bra. 
“Eeek! Nagi, have you gone mad?!” 
“Huh? Aren’t you in a hurry? Sarashiki’s barely got anything to put on.” 
“That’s not the problem! Nagi, do you have no shame?!” 
“Aww...” Nagi momentarily made a shocked face. “Wait, did you think I actually meant that? Take it off, take it all off!” 
“Eeek! Ichika, save me!” Within the narrow confines of the curtain, the two struggled. The backlight made it very clear to everyone, including Ichika, what was going on. 
“What the hell is Cecilia up to?” Ling sighed as if she had a headache. She was already down to her underwear and ready to go. 
“Tina, do you know how to put on a dress?” 
“Ling, do you know how to put on a dress?” 
“Huh?” Ling and Tina looked up in unison. 
“N-No way!” Ling shook her head from side to side. 
“Really, you don’t?” 
“What’re you so surprised about?! How often do we wear something like this, anyway?” 
“You’re no help at all, Tina!” 
“What about you, Ling?! You’re really gonna tell me you don’t even know how to put a dress on?!” Even as they fought, they began to get a handle on what they needed to do. 
“Okay, I need to get my torso in first... Tina, can you hold this up for me?” 
“Okay, but you know the chest’s gonna fall straight down to your waist, right?” 
“...Do you want to die?” As Ling’s eyes gleamed, Tina broke out in a cold sweat. While the odd couple squabbled, Houki tried to fit herself into the cheongsam. 
“I can’t get my chest in...” Ling glared at her, but she paid no heed. The mini-cheongsam simply didn’t fit. Even the skirt part didn’t so much as hang low enough to cover her panties. And up top, it was impossible to button. “Am I going to have to run this half-naked?!” 
“I certainly hope not.” Kaguya pulled as hard as she could, trying to stuff Houki into the dress. 
“Ow, that hurts! I can’t breathe!” 
“Try to live with it... Here goes.” 
As she tried to get it up over Houki’s chest, the sound neither of them wanted to hear filled their ears. Rrrrrip. 
“What was that sound?” 
“.........” 
“Why aren’t you saying anything, Kagura?!” 
“You’re going to have to run like this.” 
“What?!” Kagura brusquely shoved Houki out of the curtain while she was still confused by her sudden insistence. “Hey! Hey, wait! They can see everything!” 
“You’re just going to have to keep them covered yourself.” 
Even as they argued, other teams were already starting the race. 
“Ugh, whatever!” Houki set off at a run, not even caring anymore. But the faster she went, the more her hemline hiked up and her bustline was pushed down. “Ugh, this is so humiliating...” 
She could hear the whistles and laughs, but the last thing she wanted to do was listen. 
“The first obstacle is a vaulting horse! Do your best!” Tatenashi’s announcement rang out at the most accurate, and worst, of times. All of the obstacles were set up to show off as much as possible. 
“Why do you have to be like this, Tatenashi?!” Houki’s hand holding her skirt down clenched into a fist as she glared viciously at the announcer’s stand. But as her eyes crossed with Ichika’s, all she could think of was covering up. “D-Don’t look, Ichika!” 
He jerked his head to the side, pantomiming that he wasn’t, but that only irritated Houki even more. 
“See you later, Houki!” Cecilia raced by her, preparing to leap. It was the first time she’d worn a shrine maiden’s outfit, but she wore it well. “I suppose this is what they mean by ‘the best of both worlds.’” 
Cecilia arrogantly giggled as she braced to jump. But at that very moment, she planted her sandals directly on the hem of her hakama. She flew over the vaulting horse, leaving them behind, her curvaceous butt and fancy designer panties gleaming in the sunlight. 
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!” 
“And there’s our first wardrobe malfunction! Good job, Cecilia! I can feel it deep in my soul—and if I was wearing as little as you are now, you’d be able to see that!” Cecilia shot the excited Tatenashi a cold glare, but everyone else was enjoying the view, even if they were all girls. 
“That’s the stuff!” 
“I knew the British cadet would put up a fight!” 
“Cecilia’s just too...” 
“Stupid sexy!” 
With tears in her eyes, Cecilia tried to pull the hakama back up, but they were a borrowed pair. She had no idea how to tie them back up. I... I need to do something to cover my behind! Blushing all the way to her ears, she tugged the straps as tight as she could. Her decency restored, she started running again. 
“Um, next is... A balance beam?” This time, it was Houki and Ling, along with Cecilia, who were under pressure. 
To get by this, I... 
I’m gonna need to spread my arms. And if I do... 
They’ll see everything! 
As all three stopped, grimacing, Charlotte blew by. 
“Later!” Charlotte looked great in the dark German uniform. The cap, especially, suited her. 
“What she said.” Kanzashi, never a very fast runner, had been bringing up the rear. But their pause let her claw her way back into second place. Her advantage was simple: how convenient her outfit was. There were absolutely no worries about it slipping off. 
“This is good...” Not that she’d ever let it show. But it was good. “...Hahaha.” 
Kanzashi was cracking up at her own joke. If nothing else, the two sisters shared a sense of humor. 
“Ugh, they’re gonna beat us!” 
“We simply have no choice!” 
“No guts, no glory!” 
Houki, Cecilia, and Ling abandoned their worried about their clothes and clambered up on the balance beam. Their clothes were about to fall off. The whistling was reaching a fever pitch, and their faces were bright red. But at this point, they didn’t care anymore. 
“I need to win this!” 
Victory or death. An emotion the three shared. 
“At this point...” 
“Embarrassment...” 
“Doesn’t even matter!” 
Casting modesty—and the scraps of cloth which provided it—to the wind, they advanced along the balance beam. But just as they felt the relief of commitment, a different wind blew by them. 
“......?!” 
It was the wake of a girl in black plate and a pink battle bikini—Laura. 
“Hahahaha! With an IS, this is like nothing!” 
The sudden screech of a whistle filled the air. 
“Laura is disqualified!” 
A red card. Instant ejection. Not that she didn’t deserve it. But Laura couldn’t hold back her frustration. 
“Verpiss dich! You make me dress up like this, and then disqualify me?! I’ll blow you all away!” The dull click of Laura’s revolver cannon echoed through the field as she fixed her aim. Her embarrassment had driven her mad. “Raus hierrrrr!” 
Boom! Just as Laura was about to fire, a supersonic shot struck her cannon. 
“Wh—?!” 
“Now, now, Bodewig. We aren’t forgetting the rules, are we?” The calm, soft voice was Ms. Yamada’s, and the shot was from the IS Rafale Revive. IS Academy teachers earned their pay. 
“Mein Liebe!” Laura was swallowed in an explosion, leaving behind only a villain’s dying scream. 
And thus concluded the costume change race. In the end, there was no winner. 
 
“Um...” 
The wind rushed by me. It felt different from normal. 
“So, Ichika, how’s the view from fifty meters?” Tatenashi asked over an open channel. 
“Um. Could you explain what’s going on?” I’d drifted off after eating a snack bun she’d brought me, and when I came to I was floating at the peak of IS Academy’s Central Tower, suspended from a bundle of balloons. “What the hell is this supposed to be?!” 
“A balloon fight, duh.” 
“Don’t make faces at me like you’re surprised I’m asking! What do you mean “fight?” When? Where? Between who?!” My shouts were carried off by the wind. What even was this? What was going on?! 
“What a silly question, Ichika!” Houki’s Akatsubaki soared into the air, twin blades drawn. 
“Right here, right now!” Cecilia’s Blue Tears aimed its sniper rifle. 
“We’re gonna settle this for good!” Rin’s Shenlong switched into combat mode as she brandished her scimitar. 
“Ichika, you know French girls don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, right?” Charlotte pumped her shotgun as her Rafale Revive Custom II’s loadout materialized. 
“You’re mine now!” Laura’s Schwarzer Regen wrapped around her, a replacement revolver cannon mounted. 
“I won’t lose.” Kanzashi’s Uchigane Nishiki danced through the air, missiles armed and ready to launch. 
All six IS were hovering around me in a circle. What the hell are they gonna do?! It looked like they were all aiming at me. Were they going to kill me? Was this my time? What the hell! 
“I can’t die yet— Byakushiki!” 
“...Huh?” I couldn’t hide my look of shock at not being able to sense any response from Byakushiki. 
“Ichikaaaa, we kinda pulled the plug on that.” Tatenashi waved up from ground level. I could feel an evil eye boring into my soul. As I watched, still in shock, the six surrounding me readied their weapons. 
“Prepare yourself, Ichika!” 
“Your head is mine!” 
“It’s time to pay the piper!” 
“Ichika. Remember, it matters not how a man lived, but how he dies.” 
“You’re my bride!” 
“Ichika, you’re mine...” 
All I could do was let out a strained laugh. Meanwhile, Tatenashi continued her explanation, “And in the final competition, the balloon fight, all six team leaders will be popping the balloons which hold Ichika up while battling to be the one to catch him when he falls! The winner of this round gets a hundred million points!” 
100,000,000 points... What even was the point of the other rounds, then? 
“Are you sure you’re not confusing this with the ball pop from before?!” 
“C’monnnnn. Who cares about the details? Don’t you have any appreciation for the finer things in life?” 
I, uh. I thought maybe I’d appreciate them more from ground level. 
“Aaaaand... Begin!” 
“Wa—” My scream was drowned out by the roar of Charl’s shotgun. 
Pah! Pah! Pah! A line of balloons popped around me. 
“Whoa!” I suddenly dipped toward the ground. “I’m gonna die! You’re gonna kill me! If I fall that fast I’m definitely gonna die!” 
Houki’s katana whipped through the air, taking out a balloon that was right beside my head. 
“Chestooooooooo!” 
I was barely spared an impromptu haircut, but many more of the balloons holding me up weren’t so lucky. 
“Look, Ichika! Have you ever seen Houki smile like that?” 
“Out of my way, Houki! Impact cannon, fire!” 
I really wouldn’t mind if you sat this one out, Ri— 
Blam! Blam! Blam! Three shots rang out, popping a swath of balloons and sending me plunging even lower. 
“Whooooa!” Crap, crap, crap! I was actually gonna die! 
“Don’t worry. You won’t die.” As I looked up in confusion, I felt Kanzashi’s arms wrap around me from behind. “If I reach the ground with you... I win.” 
Kanzashi grinned at me, and I couldn’t help but grin back. 
“Let go of my bride!” Plasma daggers extended, Laura darted in. 
“You missed.” 
Slip. 
“Eh...?” Kanzashi, did you just drop me? You just dropped me, didn’t you. “Whooooa!” 
Just the shock of being shoved away popped even more balloons. The ground was rising up fast. Just as I’d resigned myself to death, the brilliant orange wings of Charl’s Rafale Revive Custom II filled my vision. 
“Ichika, I’ll protect you.” 
She was an angel. Catch Omamori?Charlotte, Wednesday nights at— Okay, yeah, I was so stressed out that my mind was going. I needed to get a hold of myself. 
“Uh... Charlotte? Umm...” 
“Mm? What, Ichika?” 
“Umm, uh...” 
“Being pressed up against you like this is...” Charl’s face was right in front of mine. I could feel her curves pushing into me, and I didn’t know what to do. 
“Ichika, you’re so close...” 
“Sorry.” 
Looking at each other, our gazes met, and reflexively, we pulled away from each other. 
“Ah.” 
Well, well, now I’d really done it. 
“I’m gonna dieeeeeeeeee!” As I dropped, a streak of blue light broke my fall. 
“I won’t let go of you, Ichika.” 
“Cecilia... You saved me...” 
As she proudly wrapped herself around me, Cecilia turned to face the other IS. Four bits flew snapped out from her blue wings. 
“Go forth, my bits!” 
She’d come a long way from when we’d fought, and now she could fly while controlling her bits. Gently, we drifted down toward the ground. 
“Coming in for a landing, Ichika. Hold on tight.” 
“Got it.” Her sweet smell made my heart race. Not from perfume, just from a woman’s pheromones. Yes, very much a woman. Ugh, my head is swimming... No! I couldn’t! “Sorry, Cecilia!” 
I slipped out of her arms and leapt into the air. 
“Ichika?! What on Earth are you—” 
“Don’t worry, Cecilia! If I catch that tree, I should make it with just broken bones!” Or so I thought, but the tree was a long, long ten meters away. 
Pick one of the three following choices: 
1: My friends will come save me. 
2: I suddenly think of a solution. 
3: I won’t be able to do anything. Reality is cruel. 
“One or two, what’s it gonna be!” 
Burn, my Cosmo! 
Welp, it was gonna be three. 
“This is too cruel!” As I screamed, Houki focused and raced toward me as fast as she could, but it was too late. The girls had been so busy fighting among themselves that they’d drawn away from me. “So this is it, huh.” 
Just when I gave up, I heard someone shout my name. The next thing I knew, Tatenashi was cradling me a hair’s breadth above the ground. 
“Are you okay?!” 
“Yeah... You saved me...” 
As I answered, she sighed in deep, deep relief. I’ve never seen that serious of a look on her face. In any case, we settled gently to earth. 
“And the winner of this event is Tatenashi!” While I’d been distracted, Ms. Yamada, in bloomers herself, had taken the announcer’s stand, and she smiled down at us. 
“Eh...?” Everyone had a shocked look on their face. Including Tatenashi. 
“Rules are rules.” 
“Wait, uh, how’s that going to work? She’s not even in the same year.” 
“You’re right, she isn’t. What are we going to do about that? But in any case, she won this round, meaning...” As Tatenashi’s IS dematerialized, Ms. Yamada took Tatenashi’s hand and raised it in the air. “The winner is... Sarashiki Tatenashi!” 
“That’s absurd!” 
“Indeed!” 
“There’s no way I’ll let that happen!” 
“That’s no fair, Ms. Yamada!” 
“Ichika should be with me!” 
“That’s cheating, Tatenashi.” 
The protests of the six were answered with smacks from Chifuyu, “Quit your bitching. Field Day is over! Get to cleaning up!” 
“No way...” they sighed in unison. 
I felt someone’s gaze on me, and glanced up to notice Tatenashi peeking at me hesitantly. 
“Tatenashi?” 
“W-What?” 
“Do you have to pee or something?” 
Smack! Field Day ended with a slap.