Kämpfer - Volume 1 - Chapter 3

Chapter 3[edit]

The Secret Garden ^[1][edit]

I carried Sakura-san to the school nurse's office. The passage to the girl's section was sealed off 'without permission men cannot enter the women's side' but now that 'I'm a woman' it was open to me.

I was carrying the fainted Sakura-san, feeling a bit unsteady at the situation. Akane left while laughing wholeheartedly. Crap, I'll get you for this. If I'm a pumpkin, you're a cabbage.^[2]

Nevertheless, Sakura-san's body was light and soft, and my heart beat loudly. I was touching the body of a woman I yearned for, if I died at that moment I would have died happy.

The person in charge of nurse's office in the girl's section was a man with awfully long hair. His voice sounded like a soccer game narrator. He pointed to a bed, said "lay her there", without taking his eyes off the paper he was reading. What good is a nurse's office without a nurse?

While I waited for quite a while after I left the infirmary, I wasn't changing back to a man. Akane had said that the time it takes to return at first is highly random, but what to do for now.'

I could hide under the dead space under the stairs of the first floor (is that where bad girls smoke?).

While I was a woman in the girls section it still was strange to not be in a class. I wouldn't set off the "intruder alert" like I would if I were a guy, but still I couldn't just attend class either. First of all there wouldn't be a seat for me. I couldn't escape the school without alerting the police and getting into worse trouble.

I made a decision, since I was already here I would stealthily explore the girl's section. Well, I couldn't look too stealthy without drawing attention.

I pretended I was an Iron Star Academy High School Girl's student, and climbed the stairs.

Now that I had the time to look around, the girl's side was quite beautiful. Even through the building's astringent era of style, the interior was spotless and clean. Coming from the boy's side the difference was immense, the boy's cleaning seemed sloppy. The smell of the place was inviting. To say that I wasn't curious to look around would be a lie. This heart-pounding feeling matched the exhilaration of a young grade school boy peeking into the girl's bathroom.

I wasn't discovered by school staff. Even though I had "I'm running an errand for the teacher" excuse prepared, it was never used. As I walked I grew more brave and started walking with a grand swagger.

A lone girl walked towards me. She had long hair, giving her a look of innocence. I quickened my steps as we approached. As she passed she was looking down. She was wearing a sailor uniform with signs of wear, but the wear disagreed with the insignia on her collar indicating a first year student. She must be innocent.

As we passed each other, and I started to feel relieved I heard a muttering "...she's so cool". Cool?

"I'm sorry."

She was hailing me.

"You're a senpai?"

My appearance is as her senior, so I silently nodded.

"How do I get to the student council room? I have to drop off something, but I don't know the way..."

Hahaa. Lost on campus? It's to be expected. The school may be small, but when you think everything is straight you'd end up at a dead end. It's like being in thick woods and not being able to see your way. After all, the school was constructed as addition on top of addition.

As for the student council room it isn't in this building, it's attached to the library.

When I thought about explaining, I realized I still had a masculine voice, so I pointed my finger in silence.

"...." the girl was confused.

"Well, uh ..."

Hmm, I decided to talk just a little. "Over there." I pointed my finger out the window and was about to walk off.

"That... what?" she was talking timidly. "Can't you guide me?"

"..." what a pain.

Of course I know how to get to the library, I just came from there. I entered the girl's side even though I'm not a girl. What happens if I return to a boy while guiding her? This seems to be my fate, or my ending. "FIN" / the end.

My answer, "even if you ask..." oops, I had used my natural voice. I talk too much.

The long hair girl looked disheartened, by recovered immediately.

"I want a senpai to show me around."

Why is that?

"I just transferred, I don't know my way around Iron Star Academy, but I'd like to know more senpai!"

I was drowned in the details.

Well, I do seem to know my way around. I'm a boy in the second grade, and someone just tried to kill me in the library. Of all the students on the boy's side, other than Higashida, I am the most knowledgeable about the girl's side. Higashida knows more, but he wasn't called.

I took a look at my bracelet to see if there were any signs of it glowing, it still looked fine.

I shrugged my shoulders and signaled her to follow.

The girl enthusiastically follows me, with a skip in her step. We walked out of the building into the courtyard.

She started talking casually.

"Second grade, huh?"

I can't deny it, my collar emblem can be easily seen.

"I'm glad I was admitted to a school with super-cool senpai!"

It made me feel good to get praised like that, plus it was my first time being called "senpai".

"Please tell me your name"

What should I say... The name Senou Natsuru is a man's name and not suitable for women. In the first place, I'm a boy who shouldn't be in the girl's section. I have no choice but to keep silent again.

"Hey, sen - pa - i!"

This girl, who I thought was shy, was becoming very familiar with me.

"Please tell me," as she casually grabbed my arm.

"..." of course I still pretended not to hear. The girl puffed up her cheeks.

"Fine, if you don't tell me I'll yell and get you caught. I know you're a second-year student cutting class."

Wait, wait... If you did that, the story would get very complicated.

This girl obviously didn't care. It didn't matter that she didn't know the circumstances were so unusual, and didn't know my predicament. It looked like she was enjoying my nervousness.

"Eh ..."

"Better to just tell me, no?" she sidled up to me with a cruel, peculiar, smile.

Where could I run and escape? The same instant I prayed 'heaven help me' , and heard a bell chime.

' BONG' 'BONG' , the end of class.

It was a boring math class I had skipped, but I didn't care.

"Over there!" I pointed to the student council room with my finger and quickly turned my back. After being paralyzed I didn't want to face the students coming from the girl's section.

As I tried to move away, that girl still clung to my arm.

"Ah... please wait" she wasn't moving towards the student council room.

A crowd of school girls streamed out of the building. I could say that I had to quickly get to a specific classroom. That should be an excuse to get away from her. Yeah, right, she wouldn't care.

"It's... Natsuru-san?" came a weak whisper. In a group of sailor suits, I saw a surprised Akane.

It was the form she had before turning into the vicious-dog girl.

"Oh... what went wrong?"

I whispered my answer, "the transformation hasn't happened yet."

"That's a long time, but why are you still here?"

"I was asked to guide..."

Just then the long-haired girl yelled "Oh wow, Akane!"

Akane was shocked, "Masumi-chan ...!"

"...is it, that Akane is an acquaintance of senpai?"

"Senpai... you mean Natsuru-san?"

Before I could say 'baka' , the girl called Masumi grew a foolish grin.

Akane understood, "Natsuru-san wasn't... referring to... ", she panicked.

I panicked too.

Masumi started laughing from her belly, "so, Akane and Natsuru-san are acquaintances!"

"...as for that... what is Masumi-chan doing in a place like this?"

"The teacher sent me on an errand, yup yup!"

I stealthily asked Akane ("you know each other?")

("It's... we've been friends since we were a year old...")

From a year old, compared to Akane, she had grown relatively impudent.

"Well Akane, thanks for teaching me Natsuru's name!"

"Teaching..."

"Yes, aside from you, I also want to be chummy with Natsuru-san. But... I think that may be impossible..."

"Why not just ask Natsuru-san directly?"

"That's... impossible. Akane will teach me then."

The actors may have changed, but the situation was familiar. Masumi was brandishing Akane, just as the vicious-dog girl brandished her gun while yelling "kill!" There was no sign of the timid nervous girl from the hallway any longer.

I was nervous, too nervous. I had no clue when was the transformation going to happen. Fortunately there was no change in the bracelet, but I had to pay attention to it.

Akane was being interrogated by Masumi and looked about ready to cry.

I winked at Akane and indicated the boy's side with a flick of my eyes.

"I think... Natsuru-san is busy, therefore... and I have the same business as Natsuru-san, so..."

"When school ends... is a little..."

I stiffened... this could be trouble. I pulled Akane.

("You're exposing everything... you talk too much")

("I, what can I say... because I...")

("Just give a simple lie. Don't tell my whole story when you've just reunited.")

("...yeah, I understand, but we need to buy you some clothes.")

Page 99

("as far as that goes... it's already going to be painful.")

("Natsuru-san, you need to prepare for your needs.")

("...I'll just run away, anywhere but here.")

I ran away, with the feeling of being an antelope. Masumi's voice was pleading "wait you two" from behind us. Of course, I pretended not to hear; even a 20-ton truck couldn't stop me.

I escaped and decided to hide out in the women's bathroom of the library. I quietly locked myself in a private stall.

Trying to stay quiet and waste time in a toilet stall is not recommended. My bracelet still did nothing, I quickly got bored. I tried to sleep by leaning against the wall, but that didn't work either.

I sat in that stall until all classes let out; it was praiseworthy. Even then there was no sign of transforming back to a man.

After the day's end rush went through I finally made it outside. My body ached and my bones creaked so loudly I thought my joins would break.

I blended in with the leaving students. I was excited, it would be my first time passing through the girl's school gates.

Girls were staring at me from every side. Needless to say it felt like every student of the Iron Star Academy Girl's High School. My mood was still overcast from not being able to return to being a boy, otherwise the attention would have been amazing.

As I passed through the school gates I heard a voice.

"Natsuru-san." It was Akane.

Her head was still down, but somehow it looked even lower than usual.

I walked up to her, "your homeroom got out early?"

"Yes... it got out early. Since Natsuru-san was going to shop for clothes, I decided to wait."

"Ah... that's right. Thank you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Did something happen?

"There's a person who wants to go with us..."

"What?"

"She said that if Natsuru-san buys a dress, she absolutely must go also... I'm sorry."

"Like who?"

"...someone like me..." That girl I had escaped from earlier appeared with a smile from ear-to-ear.

Going Shopping[edit]

Her statistics:

Full name: Nishino Masumi.

Number of classes taken: three for year one.

Blood type: B.

Hobby: likes to listen to music while sleeping.

Sizes: by all means please confirm her three sizes by yourself.

She told all this without prompting. In fact she was jumping with excitement to tell me. The only thing I didn't hear were her childhood diseases.

Of course, I asked Akane ("why her?")

("She... she chased after me and all attempts to evade her failed.")

("But she's so eager to join us.")

("True, when it comes to Natsuru-san, she has taken a keen interest...")

("Should we run again?")

("I doubt we'd escape...")

So, I ended up shopping with two girls; one quiet, one noisy. Masumi led us while skipping, Akane and I were depressed. To the world it appeared we were being led by a wonton goddess bewitching us.

"Natsuru-san, you're buying clothes?" The question accompanied Masumi's smile.

I didn't want to answer any more than necessary. "Yeah..."

"Wow, answered just like a man!" came her biting reply.

She wasn't wrong, I am a man.

"Just clothes, nothing else?"

I wanted to say 'absolutely' , but this sailor-suit wearing reporter will likely complain again. I glared at her, then refused to opened my mouth.

"Like today's dinner."

That was true. There was no sign of my transformation coming. I'd prefer to go home and stay indoors, but there's no food there and I wanted to have more than just water overnight.

"Natsuru-san, you cook for yourself? Whatever I shove into my microwave always bursts into flames and I get scolded by my mother."

I sympathize with her mother.

As for my cooking ability, I can make a decent curry. My remaining ability is limited to cup-ramen, but I wouldn't call that cooking; nothing to be proud of. According to rumors, Sakura-san is a very good cook. If I return to a man I'd love to confirm that.

Akane simply said "really...?" and wouldn't say any more after I had whispered that thought to her. She seemed awfully angry for some reason.

To my favor Masumi continued talking loudly, trying to decide where we should go.

"If you just want a side-dish, the shopping center's supermarket is super cheap. Let's go"

Masumi was leading. Is it human nature to follow whoever leads? We walked along in a triangle with Masumi at its vertex. Glances at us were coming from all sides; they were directed at me. Both men and women were staring. As a man walked by my body shuddered from his attention; it was so embarrassing. 'Hey, this isn't a peep show!' I wanted to scream. But then someone would call a policeman, it's wiser to walk in silence.

Top and bottom I wore an Iron Star Academy High School uniform. My uniform wouldn't draw attention since it's a popular school in that area. Glances at me increased... but I had no idea why. If a new freshman started wearing the school uniform, wouldn't it be similar?

There was too much attention. I am not very self-conscious, but all the gazes centered on me was very distracting; I even forgot that we were shopping. Does being a woman feel like this?

"People are looking at Natsuru-san..." Masumi had a way of speaking without any form of delicacy.

"Since Natsuru-san is cool and tall, she is the center of attention. Stares are being shot her way."

Why was I being targeted? It could be my height. I was average height for a man, but a head taller than most women. Certainly the tallest of us three.

Maybe my transformation mixed parts of a man and women together... just as I was starting to develop an idea someone called.

"Hey!"

It was a man's voice. I tried to ignore it and keep walking.

"Wait," as my shoulder was gripped.

His coat was familiar, a boy from our school. I recognized his face, it was my classmate Higashida, idiot; reduced to a fool.

"Such a group? So lovely!"

Dense guy; was this a pick-up? Maybe it was casual flirtation. Higashida relaxed his expression and scoped me out; yeah, it was a pick-up.

From the badge on my collar he knew that I was also a second grade student.

Frightened Akane hid behind me. Masumi said "hey hey, stop flirting, let's go."

Higashida, however, was talking only to me.

"Hey, I also go to Iron Star Academy. Tell me your name, I'm second year student Higashida."

Why me? His tone of voice was very creepy. Being a woman at the moment gave me a completely different view of this guy. I had no idea that he talked so easily to girls, or talked so much. He could compete with Masumi for nonstop talking. I wished both would follow Akane's example.

Higashida continued, "I'm not bad, not an otaku, I'm a normal guy." This coming from the chairman of the Nymph Club, trying to catch me. Normally I wouldn't care, but right then it would be a problem.

I shook his hand off my shoulder. How can a guy like this act in a totally familiar manner to an unknown girl? The feel of the conversation was disgusting. I had to be careful.

Higashida took out a digital camera. "My hobby is taking photos, I'd like to get one of you. Right now I'm collecting pictures of beautiful girls from Iron Star Academy High School. No problem, right?"

How could any girl fall for that lame pick-up line? It must have worked at least once though.

Masumi shouted "I... I am...?" Akane still hid behind me, powerless in fear.

I silently shook my head.

In the case of that guy, he may recognize my voice.

"I'm asking you because you'd make a lovely model. It will only take a moment, no problem, right?"

Guys must think I look lovely. From looking in the mirror at myself that first time I know how lovely I look.

"Shall we start?"

"Hey..."

"You have an astringent voice, my favorite kind."

Any girls voice is your favorite. You'd say the same to Masumi. You're trying to court the Senou Natsuru who attends the same class as you. If he ever determined who I really was, his bubble would burst and it would be a trip to the hospital for me.

I ignored him and walked away. I had to buy a meal and some clothes. I even wanted to buy my weekly manga.

I could feel the back of my neck tingling, was it a mosquito?

"Forget the food for now, lets buy clothes first." I told both my companions. "Let's run!"

"...hey!"

"Where are you going? Don't you want to be in my photo collection? Model girl..."

Akane and I signaled each other with our eyes, excluding Masumi. Higashida could still be heard "...I want you in my collection. It's a chance of a lifetime."

Akane and I dashed of unexpectedly, Masumi quickly followed. Model your own photos.

We escaped the shopping center and made it to the front of the station. The crowds were very thick and Higashida was left far behind. However I still have to buy some women's clothes. Maybe in Ito-Yokado or Jusco? I decided to ask Akane.

"Right inside the station is a cute shop with nice clothing. Turn in right here."

I did as she said. I'd never been shopping for clothes here before. I had bought a lot of box lunches in the station basement, but they were usually stale. I jumped through the shop's front door and caught my breath. Higashida never found us.

"Well..." I looked at the store directory. The store name on the sign looked like Buddhist scriptures written in Sanskrit to my eyes.

"It is this shop."

Akane pointed to the third floor.

As we rose on the escalator Masumi was excitedly saying "clothes, clothes..." I wondered if she had done some bad drugs.

We ended up at a select shop, permeated with a sense of loveliness. The age group it targeted was high-school or a bit higher.

"Because Natsuru-san is so beautiful, I thought of this store..." Akane said while she blushed slightly.

I said "thank you..." and gave her a bow. I have no edge when it comes to fashion. I couldn't even answer a single question when it comes to brand names; even less about women's fashion. Even if the shop was named 'A Fashionable Brand popular in Zaire' I would believe it.

Masumi quickly danced into the store saying "I'll also choose a dress...". Akane slowly entered, and I followed timidly.

In that way I entered into a women's clothing shop the first time since I was born. Dresses were lined up from the walls to the corridors. The variety of choices was huge when compared to a men's shop. There was everything from t-shirts to skirts and socks to regrettable underwear. 'Regrettable?'

I vacantly watched the two girls going through clothes. I had no idea what would look good from all these ladies things, even if this trip was for me.

Masumi started screaming "over here, over here..." then "Natsuru-san, this, this!" She held up a t-shirt covered by a picture of two crossed chainsaws. Over the chainsaws in bold text was 'KILL Teacher, KILL Cop' .

"..."

"It totally suits you, please wear it to class!"

Would she take responsibility for me when I get expelled? I silently shook my head. Would it be worn under the uniform or over it?

Masumi immediately takes out another "...then maybe this."

It was a shirt showing a large Christian cross with words underneath 'an absolute swindler ↑' written in Gothic font.

"During Christmas let's wear this and walk around town." Japanese people are mostly tolerant of religious views, but how much before it's considered rude? Should it be worn just to irritate Christians?

Before I could even shake my head Masumi showed another. "There's also one like this, it's perfect!"

'BURN! BURN! NUKE, BURN!' What's not perfect about that, heh.

It's useless, this woman can't find anything good for me.

However, why just those items. Is this shop for punk rockers and fans of death metal? Do they carry any decent clothes?

Akane joined us carrying a one piece dress. Black with thin shoulder straps. Certainly a fashionable style worn by girls.

"This might... look good on Natsuru-san..."

I wouldn't know. I wasn't used to thinking of looking good in a dress. It was thickly embroidered in silver skulls with crossbones. How to refuse?

"I... I think it suits Natsuru-san."

Masumi showed me a jacket with the back covered by a picture and the words 'Vlad the Impaler exterminates the Turkish army.'

Akane took out a skirt "how's this?" It was embroidered with 'come ON enteritis.' I had to look up enteritis at home, enteritis? ^[3]

Next was a shirt with a picture of two people, a farmer holding a hoe and a tax collector. Under the picture were the words 'Don't get a lawyer to fight a child's battle!'

Masumi held up a jacket with a picture of a Tokugawa Shogun riding a motorcycle and holding up his sword overlaid on a picture of a richly colored flame-red phoenix in flight. The back had the text 'I AM SHOGUN, HAHAHA!'the front had smaller letters 'I. Tokugawa' . ^[4]

It seemed out of character for a girl like Akane to like clothes in these styles, but, if you think about it, for a girl with a hobby of Entrails Animals it must be fitting.

These avant-garde clothes were giving me a terrible headache. To think that Akane and Masumi shared a passion for this style let me see how girls from different years and such opposing personalities could have become friends. I could understand that, but why involve me in it, this isn't my style.

I felt like I was being pressured to buy wares from competing Israeli street merchants. I gravely yelled, "stop shopping!"

The result was me looking at the faces of two shocked girls.

"Shopping... you don't... you want to stop?"

"I'm just looking for 1 thing, this much... If I go much further I'll die!" It felt like the truth.

I left the store in silence and Akane followed without any complaint. Masumi held up a skirt printed with 'Touch Freely!' on the back. "Wear this, at least wear this!" she cried. Wearing something like that would attract the worst kind of human fungus.

After all, we were supposed to be headed to the supermarket, then to the shopping district. To all appearances we should look like side-by-side girls, and actually we were.

"Hey you" lightly came a man's voice, but it wasn't Higashida.

Three wannabe-jocks were standing there.

"We're going to karaoke, but we need more people. Do you want to join us?"

That was fishy. Most likely they couldn't afford to enter on their own.

They were wearing shirts hand-dyed to look like soccer uniforms from Milan Italy. Western printing was covering the snake logo. Their eyes were darting nervously.

I am currently a woman. It can be assumed what would happen if all of us were alone in a closed room.

One of them held Akane's arm. "The karaoke room is just over there."

"...it's..., I won't go."

"Don't be so cold. It'll just be us dudes and you three."

An idea, likely from thinking of Higashida, comes to mind, and I tug Akane's sleeve. "Once you have transformed..."

"It's... but because Masumi-chan is here." I hadn't thought of that.

"That lovely daughter needs to come too." Meaning me. That talk came from one of them with Mohawk hair that made me think of a white leghorn chicken.

I hesitated, trying to think of a comeback that a transformed-Akane would say, "Hey!" My arm was taken and he wet his lips with his tongue.

"Best to stay away bastard. You'll fall one-by-one." Chicken head was startled by a man's voice coming from 'girl' me.

"As far as going with you tone-deaf bastards... I'd rather give you something to keep the crap in your bowels company." As something hard was pressed against his belly.

"This amateur..." I pushed harder.

"Don't open your mouth or I'll stuff it with the skin I peel off your back." I gave him a powerful stare.

The three glared back at me. Chicken head glanced down to see what was in my hand.

"Hey! Look down and die!"

"...crap!" he spewed out of his mouth as they all ran away.

I put the lighter back in my pocket. I had started to regret bringing it, because it was a bit uncomfortable, but it came to be surprisingly useful.

"This is what girls deal with, crude pick-up attempts?"

"I... I'm not always being picked-up..."

"But?"

"It's because Natsuru-san is beautiful."

"Definitely, Natsuru-san is gorgeous. Men will flock to her," Masumi loudly agreed.

I was happy to hear their praise, but had strongly mixed feelings about it.

"Impressive, you're strong." came a familiar voice from a different direction, along with an instant headache.

"I've been watching. Those jocks are notorious but you drove them off with ease! The look on their faces..."

"...so" what else could I say.

"So, I'll take photos now. Also with her." He pointed to Akane.

"..."

I stealthily quickened my pace and somewhat forcibly pulled Akane's hand.

"Wait... just a single picture."

I looked over my shoulder and he was starting to catch up.

"Get lost!"

Higashida had a wide-eyed open-mouth expression, but he stopped advancing.

"Great one Natsuru-san. He wasn't getting your hint."

"Natsuru-san... will... your friend be alright?"

"Yeah, he's the same as a bird, he'll forget everything in a minute."

Higashida and I are a pair of guys from boy's year 2 class 4. Best highlight of our current year; 70% of the class never finished the Japanese History homework a month ago. Our teacher fainted with his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. The next day he led class with preaching, crying and tearing out his hair; I found the memory to be pretty refreshing. Of course I was part of that 70%.

"...forget that, let's eat there!" Masumi jumped up and down pointing straight ahead.

"It's over there. Across the pedestrian overpass near... WHOA!"

Masumi yelled so loudly I jumped.

"What... What?"

"Natsuru-san's wrist is sparkling!"

Although it is not a wrist but a bracelet, seemingly she was convinced that my wrist itself was emitting light.

"Do your veins glow, like an angler-fish?"

I smiled, I would have laughed, but it wasn't a laughing matter.

("Natsuru-san, this is serious...!")

Akane's face paled at the indication that I would start transforming from female back to male.

Although I'm glad to return, the location is a problem. Transforming in a high-traffic area would be a sex-change show. Besides that, Masumi was still with us. I'd most likely be shipped off to a zoo or research laboratory for in-depth study.

("Akane-san, become a Kämpfer!")

("Yeah... but Masumi... If I was to...")

I pleaded to Masumi "I'm sorry... a little."

I dashed and dove into the underground parking entrance. Akane was flustered, but followed close behind.

White luminescence wrapped my body as I went running down the stairs. I can't remember how many steps I descended, but when the light stopped I had returned to a man.

"Oh no..."

I wasn't sad, just a bit disappointed at the location and bad timing.

I sat on the stairs. Akane stared at the ground.

"Did anyone notice?"

"No, but..."

"There was someone?"

"Well... I just felt... someone was watching."

She sounded timid as ever, but the tone of her voice was dead serious.

I looked up towards the street and caught glimpses of passers-by. None of them were looking towards us.

"When?"

"For... for a long time. Since the department store."

I pressed the back of my neck. When I was a Kämpfer, I was feeling on edge. Was it because someone was watching me? Was it the person we fought? Did they know Akane is my partner? If they followed and watched as I transformed, they'd know that I changed from a girl to a boy...

I was trying to think. When we fought in the library, I never saw our enemy's face.

"...let's get out of here," I said to Akane.

"If we leave, Masumi-chan is still there."

I wasn't thinking straight. I quickly hid under the stair landing just as I heard Masumi's voice.

"Where'd you go?... I finally caught up with you. Where is Natsuru-san?"

"Uh, er... she left!"

"Why! Why did she leave?"

"Yeah... she gave her apologies to Masumi-chan."

I never said that, but she had to be polite.

"She didn't say where I could see her again?"

(Ugh, don't tell her anything!)

"Hey, how did she leave? Isn't this a parking lot?"

"How did... the reason... motorcycle, she rode a motorcycle out..."

"Wow, ultra-cool! She... I want a ride! Which way did she go? I've got to get a ride!"

So, I have a motorbike, and old enough for a valid license. Akane was getting too far off with this. Before long I was a racer, and soon I'd be a fighter pilot.

"Oh, let's go home ... Hmm, I wonder where Natsuru-san went to eat."

Although I could finally leave, the outcome wasn't great. It was going to be cup-ramen again. My descent into malnutrition steadily progressed.

Back on the Boy's Side[edit]

I carefully made my way back home without any incidents or attacks. At home I couldn't stand listening to Harakiri-tora, so she spent the night in the crowded closet. I wanted to have a long quiet sleep.

The next day, to avoid getting stuck in a rut, I ran to school. I got to school early and a classmate said "what happened, did hell freeze over?" I responded with my middle finger; violent-Akane's attitude was rubbing off on me too much.

When classes were properly finished I quickly got ready to go home. Why? Simple, I had taken a break, but that night my plan was to open a can of whoop-ass on Harakiri-tora, the ringleader of my troubles. I will make her take responsibility.

As I was formulating my plans I heard a too-familiar voice.

"Senou!..." It was Higashida.

His face showed no recognition from the day before. Honestly?

"I'm about to leave, is it fast?"

"I have business."

Just like the day before, he put his hand on my shoulder. Again, I shook it off.

"Take a nap, then let's go shopping in Tokyo. It's something you'll like."

"Let me guess, you're going to buy special paper for printing out camera pictures."

"Close, I'm going to a print shop to get pictures of a girl that were secretly taken. For friendship sake, I'll give you a discount price."

"No need."

I have to resist, even if it's a picture of Sakura-san, which I would enjoy. Higashida's artistry is taking voyeuristic pictures which he then sells at school. I don't want to be punished as an accomplice, it's best to keep away.

"Don't be so cold. Yesterday I found an undiscovered beauty of Iron Star Academy. The pictures I am having developed should be ready."

"What... who is this girl?"

"I don't know her name I just ran across her on my way home. As the chairman of the Iron Star Academy High School Nymph Club I'm shamed that one so cute was never seen."

No, you've seen her, it was me.

Of course I didn't explain the situation. I just silently turned away and returned to my preparations to leave.

Higashida kept right on talking. "You're being quiet and unsociable. She is incredible. Some big guys tried a pick-up line, but they were rejected and driven off ruthlessly."

"Sounds like they deserved it."

"Idiot, they were bold and gave a manly attempt. I'd like to see Natsuru do better."

Same goes for him.

"It was amazing to be abused by her; being yelled at, threatened, then she disappeared."

"..."

The propensity of this guy is beyond belief. I wouldn't want the true identity of that girl to be exposed.

"I'll sell you a picture of this goddess, I know you'll want it."

"I'm tired."

"Don't be so cold. I'd trade you for a picture of Kondou Mikoto-san."

My eyebrows lowered.

"Ask her for one."

"My request is ignored. I rely on you."

"Even I don't know when she's coming back."

The girl just mentioned, Kondou Mikoto, used to live near me. You could call us childhood friends. She's a year younger than me and would be in first-year high-school, except she's on a leave of absence. Her parents travel all over the world, and Mikoto was pulled along.

She is lovely and strong-willed, and may model for Higashida. I tried to say so, but he is just looking to put a check-mark in his notebook next to her name.

"You're only happy when you're taking pictures of girls."

"It's my hobby. It's a thrill to be looking through a telephoto lens from a hidden spot at the girls swimming in the pool."

He'll be arrested someday, and I'll have to testify against him saying 'he's done many things like this before.' It may benefit the world.

"Speaking of girls, did you hear anything about the disturbance in the library yesterday?"

I was shocked, it's unlike him to change the topic away from photographing girls.

"Huh, like what?"

"I heard it was a dispute; more importantly, between girls!"

This guy is very quick to spread rumors.

"A quarrel between 3 or 4 girls."

"What was the quarrel about?"

"Nobody knows, but they knocked over a large bookshelf. The school board is in a fuss about it."

"Hmm."

I was pretending indifference as much as possible; give no clues. If I was careless and slipped in the least, the rumors would reach Argentina by tomorrow.

"Have they found the people responsible?"

"They ran away before anyone could see who it was. I don't blame them for keeping quiet."

"True." I had to concentrate not to look as relieved as I felt.

"By the way, where were you during lunch yesterday? Oh yeah, I remember you went with that girl you met at the station... the one waiting for you in the hall..."

Crap, "...hey, the fight was between women, I'm a man."

"So, did you see anything or not?"

"No, nothing," I lied. I was one of the guilty parties, but there's no way I'd tell him that.

I finished my conversation with Higashida. More time had passed than I thought. Even though my anger has dissipated somewhat, I was still in a hurry to get home and punish Harakiri-tora.

"I'm leaving."

"Not joining me..."

"I think you can handle it."

"You'll miss out on a deal for the treasured photos."

"I'll pass."

I walked quickly. I didn't want to get caught up in Higashida's hobby again now that we had mentioned photos.

As I was about to go through the door out of the classroom I suddenly stopped. Higashida ran into my back.

"Hey, why'd you stop."

I ignored him. There was a girl in front of me.

"That..." came Akane's weak and timid voice. She had been waiting for me.

"That, you have business with me, right?"

"It is..."

"What?"

"Eh... ...should introduce..."

"I've met Akane-chan." I cringed as Higashida called her 'chan' but she wasn't in vicious-dog mode, so there was no comeback.

"...not me..."

She took a step back and from the other side of the corridor came another female student, waving to me.

"Natsuru-san!"

Sakura-san; it was the third time I'd seen her since yesterday. Even seeing her so frequently, my appreciation of her never diminished. A beautiful woman can't be encountered too often to enjoy.

Higashida stood behind me, astonished, since Sakura Kaede came to see me.

"Oi... oi..." as he grabbed my uniform. He seemed flustered, but I am used to talking with Sakura-san.

"Why, that person..."

As I looked behind Sakura-san I became as astonished as Higashida. Standing behind her was the student council president, third grade genius, the Iron Star Academy's perfect impeccable girl, Sangou Shizuku.

The body and face of a fashion model, sophisticated demeanor, topmost athletic ability, and nerves of steel. She has maintained absurdly perfect scores for every class. Faculty and the board of education wondered if a mistake had been made that such a perfect student would enter the Iron Star Academy. She had become the student council president as soon as she entered her first year, and had maintained an authoritarian control ever since. The girl's academy had gone from loose and carefree to the currently strict control it now displayed; the ranking of the school had risen greatly.

I whispered to Akane "hey ...does the student president have business with me?"

"Yeah..." Akane quietly nodded.

"There's some business between the boy's and girl's section, namely Natsuru-san's class, and I'm taking the opportunity to meet with representatives..."

"Why?..." It wasn't me who asked, but Higashida.

Why would the class president meet with us, four second year students. At least that's what Higashida seemed to want to ask. I silently agreed.

Shizuku had put in appearances on the boy's side of the academy previously, but no conversations ever took place and she never lingers. There had never been an opportunity for anyone to talk to her. Students even said it was easier to talk to Kaede or to be accepted to the University of Tokyo than converse with her; if you ever did talk to Shizuku-sama your life would be greatly extended.

"Shizuku-sama" is not how I refer to her, but it's the term used by an non-sanctioned club of masochist boys that '...want to be abused by Shizuku-sama.'

Shizuku watched me with total lack of emotion.

"Er... well..." I stammered. Anyhow, this student council presdent doesn't have spare time.

"..." the reaction was equally blank. Most likely I was being taken to identify a severed head or to my execution.

Higashida went back into the classroom muttering "camera, camera."

He left me, alone and helpless.

Since it was unavoidable, I asked "What business is it?"

President-sama unexpectedly answered. "Not me, Kaede."

Shizuku made my jaw drop. Sakura-san lowered her head and bowed.

"Oh... really?"

"Some with me also." Shizuku added curtly.

I bowed deeply. Both male and female students must respect a direct visit from the student president. Basic chores and requests would be handled by her minions. It's still not clear if she has minions.

The hallway was getting loud from the attention of having these two present. It was rare to see either of them on the boys side, but to see both was unheard of. Before long there would be a school idol photo session starting up.

"Oh, uh well."

Akane was no help, her face and eyes were aimed at the floor. In a minute Higashida would return with a camera. I pressed forward and lead all of us out of the classroom.

I guided everyone to an unused room in the boys club room building. In Iron Star Academy, extracurricular activities and facilities for them are also divided by gender. For example, a literature department would have both "boys literature section" and "girls literature section." With the limited staff available, clubs with too few members were often eliminated, leaving the assigned room empty. It made it easy to find a spare room.

Splitting the clubs between boys and girls was a big success, not even the fringe activities were breaking school rules.

We ended up in the film studies club room. In previous years the club not only watched movies but elected a manager, producer, script writer, cameraman, prop supervisor, lead and supporting actors. But the club had dwindled down to the last remaining member until last year when he graduated.

Since it had been less than a year since the club dissolved the fixtures and club materials still remained. We pulled some chairs together to sit.

It wasn't a circle that was formed, but a line of Akane, Sakura and Shizuku facing me. It was more like an interview.

"First of all..." I couldn't take the silence any longer. "What kind of business does the president of student government have with me?"

"The library at lunchtime, I think you know what I mean." Shizuku said bluntly. No excessive chat or small talk. Another of her traits that lead to her being known as 'daunting.' Well, I was one of the parties involved but I couldn't give that answer.

"I've been talking with Higashida. He's dedicated to researching for his beautiful girls club."

He had been spreading rumors that the incident was a fight between girls and one of those involved, a beautiful nymph, was targeted for inclusion by the beautiful girl society. He also knew I was going to the library that day and he may have said something, damn Higashida.

"Were you in the library?" My heart was ready to leap out of my chest. Damn him again, what did that big-mouth idiot Higashida tell her?

"Oh... that..." Akane gave me a flickering gaze. I continued to worry.

"Yes?"

"I think he... borrowed a book, or..."

"Not that."

Shizuku could smell an excuse, and she wasn't willing to listen to one.

"You are a witness, you should have come forward." She crossed her arms and stared at me.

"Ten book collections and two steel bookshelves were ruined. Although there is no desire to investigate responsibility, I need to determine if liability can replace lost property, understand? Your assistance will help reduce the student council's workload."

I was one of the parties involved. Nevertheless, Shizuku's tone was very cold and made me feel like she was scooping out my insides. Even so, a part of that feeling was enjoyable and made me understand the desires of the masochistic boys club.

"...that..." as for meddling Akane.

"Natsuru is a boy. The library disturbance were girls..."

"Weren't you also in the library?"

"Eh..."

"You were."

With those few words Shizuku sealed Akane's argument.

"As for women being involved, that is known from the students who fled the scene."

As she said that her glare never wavered from me.

Page 133

"Whether it was a man or woman doesn't really matter, the result is that women caused the disturbance."

"..." Akane and I clammed up.

There was an implication in Shizuku's words. Although her expression didn't change, there was a hint of her knowing additional details. She had the upper hand and Akane and I were at a disadvantage. Was I being accused?

"If you have something to say, please do."

"..."

I had nothing I could say without condemning myself.

"Nothing to say?"

I didn't.

Shizuku stood up. The conversation was done. Did she think that Akane and me lacking anything to say was backing up her reasoning?

"I'm returning to the girls section," Shizuku said.

"Ask Kaede why she came to talk with you. She'll reveal her secret only to you... Besides, women staying too long on the boys side will confuse public morals."

With those words the student council president left without a goodbye. She simply walked out of the film studies clubroom.

As soon as Shizuku left I suddenly started to sweat.

"Whoa, that was scary." I almost shook out of my chair. "It was my first time talking with the student council president, she wore me out."

"Ah, Sangou-san is always..." Akane was also weary.

"She also attends the book committee meetings occasionally and it is a harsh thing. When there is a discrepancy in the budget no one is allowed to leave the meeting until... The committee members always give in, either to her forcefulness or her beauty."

That would be true, how would I be able to deal with her. At least I was able to spend time with...

"I'm sorry," Sakura-san said.

Why was she sorry?

"The thing is, I spoke to Shizuku-chan about the library. I said Natsuru-san was there and suddenly she wanted to go with me to the boy's side..."

That was a revelation, but more shocking was Sakura-san calling her 'Shizuku-chan.'

Sakura-san noticed my shock. "We've been friends since we were small. I've called her Shizuku-chan since then."

"That's the first time I've heard that."

"We used to talk to each other often, but in elementary school a professional entertainment scout convinced her to go to a performing arts school. But now we're together again."

The thought of Iron Star Academy's two top beauties being close friends was enough to inflate the imaginations of any male student.

Akane's expression made me feel she knew my thoughts. If she were in fierce dog mode I'd already have a hole in my head.

"So Sakura-san, you came on an errand..."

"Oh, right!" Sakura-san sat up in her chair and corrected her posture.

"In fact, that's why I was looking for Natsuru-san in the library."

"Ah."

"It is that..." for some reason she blushed. "Just a quick word... There is something personal I want to ask you."

"Oh, uh..." Akane quietly rose from her chair. "I should... just step outside for a moment," as she opened the door.

Huh?

Sakura-san silently mouthed the words 'thank-you' to Akane as she closed the door behind her.

"...Natsuru-san," she said formally.

"Yes," I replied in similar formality.

"The person that I've been anxious to talk about..."

She started to blush, leading me to only one conclusion. This must be a confession! She was trying to be indirect. Don't laugh, it has to be it. Why else would she say 'the person that I've been anxious to talk about'?

"Since yesterday... I cannot get that person out of my mind..."

Her face tipped down and she couldn't look directly at me. I was having difficulty hiding my smile. Hiding my smile was an unreasonable request. I was rejoicing, one of the two campus beauties was about to confess to me. If I died right then my short life would still be complete in happiness.

That would explain why Sakura-san was seeking me in the library, that was the reason. She tried to find me, but because of the disturbance she never had the chance.

It was good that I hadn't been popular. If I had been 'popular,' the popular Higashida would have never let me be alone with her.

When Higashida hears this news he'll have a heart attack. My happiness is more important than that fool's life anyway.

"It is that I..." She was having trouble getting the words out. Take your time Sakura-san, anytime was fine with me.

"Natsuru-san, what I'd like to know..."

"Yes?"

"Who is..."

"Eh?"

"...that woman?"

My eyes were blinking with surprise and Sakura-san leaned forward.

"That cool girl who saved me, I don't know her, but Natsuru-san does, right?"

Her words struck me right between the eyes, hard. Somehow I managed a reply.

" 'Cool girl' ... do you mean the violent..."

"Not the one with the gun, the nice girl, the one who helped me."

"Eh?"

"She was wonderful and cool, but not very talkative."

"She... she is..." my head was confused. If it wasn't Akane-san there was only one other person there.

"Please introduce me to her... her name is Natsuru-san!"

Sakura-san's eyes were beaming with joy. In contrast I fell off my chair, lost for words.

Natsuru and Natsuru[edit]

"A-ha ha ha," Harakiri-tora laughed like an old woman.

"Another of your misfortunes!"

The stuffed toy was thrown into the trash bin as a substitute to an answer.

"Please stop the garbage treatment, it's so childish."

"Quiet!" I yelled toward the trash can.

"Sakura-san, she frustrates me, but I just can't get angry at her! Beautiful Sakura-san open your eyes!"

"But she likes Natsuru-san, right?"

"...as a woman!"

I picked up the trash can and turned it over. Harakiri-tora fell out along with the waste paper. I picked up the stuffed toy and violently brought our faces together.

"There are two reasons why I'm shocked and angry!" I said imitating Akane's fierce-dog mode.

"One is that Sakura-san found the person she desires. The second is that Sakura-san fell in love with a woman!"

In the past Higashida had said 'Sakura-san has refused all invitations by men. The rumor is she must be a lesbian.' Of course I took it as a joke, while both Higashida and I laughed. I was completely shocked that the rumor turned out to be true.

"And it's all your fault!"

"How does that add up?"

"The whole situation wouldn't be so confusing if you didn't turn me into a woman! It's no good even apart from her fondness for women."

Harakiri-tora wriggled its way loose from my hand.

"Don't discriminate. Be more liberal and accepting in your thinking."

"I want her to be charmed with me as a man!"

"But Natsuru-san the man has no charm."

I tried to kick the stuffed toy in the style of a free-kick, but it was too quick, all my foot caught was air.

I remembered the blurry events after the recent confession(?) in the clubroom. I fell off my chair half-conscious, being nursed by Sakura-san, saying 'the cool girl who helped me.' She had continued, 'even though she wore our school's uniform, I've looked everywhere and can't find her.' Even though the person she was looking for had just swooned before her eyes.

Thinking over the story leading up to then made me want to cry. The conversation at the time was like skillful warriors battling. It took all my talent not to expose the identity of her new favorite woman.

I could lie to myself, that I was important to Sakura-san and that she liked Natsuru-san. But the Natsuru-san she liked wasn't me, and I'm not prone to imaginations of megalomania. Even if it would be a white-lie to myself.

Even though my emotions were at odds with themselves, Sakura-san asked me 'please keep this a secret. Rumors of homosexuality spread very quickly.'

I agreed while not being totally conscious yet. There could be no other answer than 'yes' when asked a question by such a beauty. She also pulled out my consent to 'introduce me to that woman.' It's a wretched story, but I had no ability to refuse.

How on earth could I manage an introduction? She and I share one body. Damn, I had to go to Harakiri-tora for advice; I didn't get 'how can I help?' No, from the start I got laughter.

Even with time Harakiri-tora didn't stop grinning or laughing. Originally the stuffed toy had a sewn on faint smile, but her huge smile couldn't be hidden.

"How about meeting while you're a woman?"

"I could do that but my voice would still be a man's voice. I'd be exposed."

"...being exposed - that's inconvenient?"

"I would be despised... with my size how could I be seen other than a weirdo with a transvestite hobby?"

No, since Sakura-san is kind, she wouldn't despise me. But certainly my rank would fall drastically from 'a junior high acquaintance.' In a worst-case scenario, she would 'avoid him as much as possible.'

"To top it off, I'll hurt Sakura-san who has been yearning to meet her 'cool girl'. Another reason for her to hate me."

I rolled around holding my head. If someone saw me they wouldn't hesitate to call for an ambulance, most likely a yellow one.^[5]

Harakiri-tora didn't call an ambulance. Probably because her cat-like cloth hands couldn't dial a phone easily.

"I'll just give up and choose the road to being Kämpfer. Having a woman with me isn't necessary to fight."

"But to start a fight you must first be a woman."

I sat up, "can I transform myself into a woman intentionally?"

"If you increase your skill a bit, you could."

"Skill?"

"Oh - you've seen others do it Natsuru-san, do you still think it's difficult?"

That's true, Akane easily transforms intentionally. I suddenly recalled I hadn't told Harakiri-tora about the attack in the library. This time the plush toy was unusually silent.

"Ho, so you finally met an enemy Kämpfer?"

"The attacker was powerful, and stayed hidden. I never saw who it was."

"Sounds like an experienced fighter, this is serious."

"Fast and forceful. Would the attacker have been a woman?"

"There's no doubt."

"She's also an Iron-Star student?"

"I'm certain of it. Kämpfer tend to gather in certain locations."

"Say what?"

"Let me put it this way. If one Kämpfer appears, another will appear to fight the first, then another to support the others and so on."

"How can you transform people so freely?"

"It's the moderator, don't you think?"

I had to think hard. This was a pain, every time I went to school I'd have to be cautious. I was at a considerable disadvantage.

Consulting Akane wouldn't help much. When she wasn't transformed she was too timid to be any help; after transformation 'kill anything that moves.' Efficient plans would not be formed effectively with her.

"Excuse me," Harakiri-tora was saying.

"How can a stupid stuffed toy help?"

"Since you're worried how stupid am I if I have good advice?"

"Like what?"

I watched Harakiri-tora with doubt. There's no trusting her, no answers came easily, nothing but puzzles. Thinking back, the description that came with the Entrails Series toy said 'Harakiri-tora - even it's stomach is black.'

"To start, the enemy is likely just one person. If there were two or more you would have lost."

That made sense. The only weapons we saw were two dirks^[6] attached by a chain. That weapon kept us both occupied, if there were any other enemies we would have been overwhelmed.

"Should I worry about another enemy showing up?"

"Probably."

"But what chance is there of that?"

"Like I said a while ago, Kämpfer tend to gather in one area."

"I heard you, I was there."

"Well..."

"You're useless," I said harshly before I could stop myself. She made an essential point there. How could I uncover others?

"With patience and good searching, you'll certainly find them."

"The only evidence is the bracelet. Without seeing that there's no way to tell." I hit my arm where mine was firmly attached. Rolling up girls sleeves, what difference is there to flipping skirts?

Harakiri-tora thoughtfully pondered, "that reminds me." Seeing a toy with intestines spilling out, looking intently thoughtful was beyond strange.

"Look for someone like me!"

"Huh?"

"All messengers are like me..." Harakiri-tora skillfully pointed her short forefoot at herself.

"No way."

"Search for people who have Entrails Animal series stuffed animals, right? Akane-san has Seppuku Kuro Usagi. Not every Entrails Animal will be an adviser but each adviser assigned to a Kämpfer will be an Entrails Animal."

I think messenger is a better fitting word than adviser, but aside from that it wasn't a bad idea. Not as direct as checking bracelets but easier to talk about.

"So why only look for Entrails Animals?"

"The moderator chose to use us. For gathering Kämpfer it's easier to use the same series of stuffed animals."

Harakiri-tora was proudly rubbing her exposed viscera. Pride in a series of stuffed toys.

"There are many series, why them?"

"Maybe because they're no longer being sold. Anyway, it's better than rolling up sleeves."

"How do you know they stopped selling them?"

"I've checked into it," I noticed my computer was turned on and a browser window was opened up on it. The window was dense with information, apparently someone had been net surfing.

"It gets boring being in this room all day. Clicking is hard, but I manage."

With those paws I bet it would be difficult.

Anyway, I was relieved. Searching for stuffed toys was a lot easier than searching for enemies through groping.

I decided to go down to the first floor and get some juice so I got up to leave.

"Oh, Natsuru-san..."

"I don't think a stuffed animal would want to join me for a drink."

"Not me, but Kaede-san would."

"Huh?"

"You're supposed to introduce the girl Natsuru-san to her."

"Ah..." I fell back. Seems I had forgotten my current troubles since the topic had changed.

Frankly speaking, solving the problem of searching for enemy Kämpfer was easier than coming up with a plan for that problem of mine.

"Ah - how am I going to make introductions?"

"Still haven't figured it out?"

"It's like I'm betraying Sakura-san, how can I do that?"

"All you have to do is present yourself to her."

"I don't want to."

"You have a better solution?"

Harakiri-tora made a faint smile. "Just try not to talk if possible. It's your only choice."

It's the only way. Sakura-san wants to meet the girl Natsuru, and I've already agreed. I'll just do it.

"Are you going to have a silent conversation..."

You're contradicting yourself dude. I have to do it even if I need telepathy.

"Now to change you to a girl's figure."

"Ugh, yeah."

"Either you ask Akane, you figure out how to transform, or you find some other Kämpfer that is willing to fight."

"I can't transform myself yet."

"That's why you'll need Akane-san to help you transform, then stay nearby."

"No..."

The stuffed toy was persuading me though. Unless I learned to do it myself, but that was... unlikely. Plus I had to become used to the figure of a woman. But to get there Akane would have to change to fierce-dog mode. When that happened I'd most likely get shot in the head. Too dangerous.

Harakiri-tora looked completely still, and said "I've said what I have to say" and fell asleep.

My brain was fried from thinking too much. Don't think about the mysterious enemy, find another ally if possible. Must introduce the girl-me to Sakura-san, but need the help of Akane to do it. I didn't have one issue that could be solved in one fell swoop.

The only good idea I had was to sleep on it... maybe tomorrow I'd have solutions.

Introductions[edit]

I went to school early and went to the library before homeroom. Higashida would say "reading for enjoyment is a contagious disease," but I wasn't going there to read. As expected Akane was manning the library services counter. She looked bored since no one was in a hurry.

"Akane-chan."

"...Natsuru-san?"

I beckoned her over to the corner table.

"Do you need something?"

I briefly explained the story from the day before, after Akane got up and left the room. She was interested and surprised at the news.

"So, Natsuru-san needs me to help become Kämpfer... ?"

"Yeah."

"...in order to meet Sakura-san?"

"I can't change on my own. At first I thought I'd refuse to make an introduction, but I already agreed to Sakura-san and I can't be cruel to her. So for now, I'll change to a girl."

Akane looked down somewhat, and looked like she puffed out her cheeks a little.

"I'm sorry to ask," as I bowed my head.

"Well... it is good... but..."

I don't know why, but she didn't seem very interested. Maybe it had to do with a girl's lifetime experiences that I was missing out on.

I was also half-hearted about the introduction. Even so, I would be glad to meet with Sakura-san any way possible, even if I had to be a woman. My feelings were more complex than tracking the orbit of a satellite.

What we would say when we met was still unknown; or even if I could talk without sounding like a man. My head couldn't figure out a way this would turn out well.

"To transform you'll need me or..." Akane said.

"I don't know any other Kämpfer."

"But I would need... when I change I become violent." Akane slouched down.

"Well that... I understand. There's no other way I can do it, so that's why I asked."

Actually that was one of my concerns. As soon as Akane transforms it'll be 'Sakura-san want's introductions? That's a job for a Kämpfer? I'll introduce her... to a demon from hell' . I'd have to make provision for a tool to extract her teeth from my throat.

I must have been thinking too hard and too long, Akane looked perplexed. This was bad.

Before it was too late I had to change the subject.

"I heard about some tension on the girl's side..."

"That was Masumi-chan, she was opening the door to each second-year homeroom asking ' is Natsuru-san here?...' "

I thought I had heard a scream 'not here either!' coming from the girl's side. Could that have been Masumi?

I involuntarily took a quick look around for her. Even though she wasn't looking for me the way I looked now.

"This morning, the student council president and one of the council members came and took care of the situation." Akane answered my implied question.

"The situation didn't take long and the student council president said it was easy."

The student council president is a piece of work, it would be a difficult thing to go against her.

"You should talk to Sakura-san about setting up introductions."

"Eh...?" Akane was puzzled.

"I'm stuck on the boy's side, so I can't do it."

"But Sakura-san and I barely know each other..." Akane slouched even more.

It was hard to believe that the fierce-dog girl and this girl could be related. One was so forceful and the other couldn't be shyer.

"Well Sakura-san and I both came to the boy's side yesterday; maybe you could request us again."

I put my hands together and begged. If Sakura-san came to the boy's side again there would be a major uproar. Higashida would faint.

Akane glowered slightly and her head barely tilted.

"Thank you very much."

She was unhappy, but nodded assent.

After school, not only was Iron Star Academy harsh in separating boys and girls in the school, they meddled in interchanges outside as well. As soon as we stepped out of the school gates it was 'keep your eyes to your own classmates, understand?'

Between the boy's and girl's gates was a female guard with a blank stare, looking like she belonged at an internment camp. Furthermore, if caught looking at the girls too often the school has an underground torture chamber, where the student stays until he confesses. Well, the last part is how the rumor goes.

Due to that, I had ducked into a coffeehouse a short way from the school.

The shopkeeper was a retired white-collar worker. Because of its location the store primarily caters to Iron Star students. Because it was close to the school the prices were high. Because the prices were high and the guard kept a close watch on students near the school the profits were low and the owner needed to raise prices; a snowball effect it seemed.

I slowly sipped my coffee while the gaunt stare of the shop owner was upon me. With the high prices and the poor taste of the coffee, slowly sipping was all I was going to do no matter how desperate the owner looked.

A girl student hurrying inside glanced quickly my way then sat by the windows on the opposite side of the store.

Students were afraid to sit in the shop while in uniform. Although there was no official prohibition against visiting the shop while in uniform, once a uniformed student was noticed by the school guard, that student would be watched even closer. The store often had single boys waiting for female students.

Sakura-san came out of the school gate as the store owner was getting creepier.

She came straight to the store without hesitation; Akane must have gotten the message through. The store door opened and the bell rang, little swirls of dust were kicked up.

"Sorry," I called out as she was greeted by the store owner.

She looked relieved as she saw me, "oh good, did you have to wait long?"

"Not long. Do you want to take a walk for a while?"

"Yes," Sakura-san agreed.

We came out of the store, and slowly walked towards home. If the boy's side ever found out I was walking alone with Sakura-san I would be burned at the stake, tortured, then burnt at the stake again. When a teacher would find me I'd be confined and then roasted on a stake again. For now I was extremely happy, at least for this instant.

"Natsuru-san... that girl is...?"

Sakura-san asked with a sad face and my happiness ended.

"I found her."

"Truly?" Her expression suddenly lit up. I wished that expression was for me.

"She's in the vicinity, she was too shy to meet at the school." ...well not shy so much as difficult to accomplish.

"We can meet?"

"I think you can... meet now..." I said hesitantly, but Sakura-san didn't seem to notice.

She was fidgeting and wrapping her arms around her chest, seeming nervous.

"Right now?" Sakura-san sounded hesitant.

I eventually nodded

"Yes..."

"Er, wait here a minute." I ran across the street when the signal changed.

My destination waited in an alley between two stores.

"Ya made me wait long enough!"

"Oh, it couldn't be helped."

Akane, who had become the fierce dog woman, was in a bad mood, both dazzling and sullen. I asked Akane to transform me and I waited. I remained a man though. I had learned not to be pushy with her when she is in fierce dog mode.

She stood scratching her head, flicking a pocky in her mouth.

"Ah been thinkin' a guy from da bank was watchin' me. Ah think we should move."

Truth is Akane is a stunning beauty when like this, if you can get past the murderous glare in her eyes. Perhaps the guy is a masochist, if she didn't kill him already.

"Da guy was persistent, tried ta pick me up."

"Where is he now?"

"Ah was upset."

She pointed behind her. There were several men passed out lying on their backs. Looking closer one was the chicken head guy who tried to pick us up at the karaoke. I did take too long getting here after Akane transformed... or maybe these guys just have really bad luck.

"I have to change for Kaede."

"There," Akane directed with her head in a dignified manner.

"Don' be restless, save da crap for the rest room."

I wasn't getting through, this was taking too long.

"She's waiting for the female me."

"Ah'm not stupid. Ay get it, she's lesbian. Least you don' have ta worry 'bout syphilis."

"Hey, don't speak bad about Sakura-san!"

"Come on Natsuru, jus' let me shoot 'er. Ah'll make it quiet."

I replied in a low voice, "stop it, this isn't Lebanon, don't act like a terrorist."

"Too bad it's not Lebanon, Ah'd like it there."

I pretended not to hear. My bracelet started to glow. I couldn't worry about unnecessary things then.

The shining of the bracelet expanded and wrapped around my entire body. When it was done I had the body of a woman.

Akane ran her eyes over me.

"If ya' are really a woman remains ta be seen."

"None of your business."

"Voice is da same, finished!"

"Can't help it, I'll try not to talk if possible."

"What's da point of meetin' if ya can't talk?"

"I'm planning on meeting her only this once."

That was the conclusion of my overnight worrying. The best way to save everyone's feelings, including mine.

"Ain't that pointless? Ah've done ma part."

"I'm going to go, but please stay nearby, and stay transformed."

"Don't blame me if ya get burnt, Ah like crispy fried ribs anyway."

I began to walk slowly to where Sakura-san waited.

Although she was looking around restlessly, her eyes brightened when she saw me. That strengthened my courage.

"Ah... I am extremely thankful!" Sakura-san was very tense.

"I am Sakura Kaede and you helped me before. For that I am truly thankful."

I nodded silently, trying to show attitude, but it wasn't transmitted effectively.

"I asked Natsuru-san to introduce us. I hope it isn't an inconvenience."

I shook my head.

"That's good..." She relaxed visibly. I was glad she had piece of mind.

Sakura-san nervously continued, "that... we... somewhere..."

Rather than stay in the middle of the sidewalk, she wanted to go somewhere. We started walking in silence.

We walked along, me following and Sakura-san became more tense. It was like a parade.

Eventually she spoke up, "...I'm sorry... what's your name?"

Just like Masumi, questioning my name. Since I never gave my name it's a natural question.

I mumbled as much as possible to not be understood, "Natsuru..."

She heard me. I was a fool and an idiot; giving my real name again. Sakura-san was surprised, but that's natural.

"Natsuru-san... it's the same name as Senou Natsuru-san. He's my friend."

You've never told him he's a friend. It's the same name because it's the same person.

We continued walking. Sakura-san took a quick glance at my uniform.

"Natsuru-san also goes to Iron Star Academy."

Both still me, so still the same school.

"What class are you?"

I kept silent. I tried to keep my mind blank so I wouldn't try and talk, but it was surprisingly hard.

"That..."

"Second year," in the end I decided to just mention the grade.

Sakura-san put her hands together as if she had been praying.

"I am also a second year student; we're in the same grade!"

Actually I attend the boy's section. The tension between us was lessening though.

"I didn't know there was a person like Natsuru-san at school... you'd really stand out because... Natsuru-san is amazingly beautiful."

"It's just..." I couldn't explain much more in just a few words.

"Are you a transfer student?"

"Well..."

"You are! There must be many things you haven't seen at the school yet."

Well yeah, it's a lie, I wasn't enrolled in the women's school. Sakura-san seemed to have been convinced.

Pretending to be nonchalant, I glanced at my bracelet. 'Sparkle-sparkle,' still no change, it was still shining.

It sounds silly to call it a conversation, but we continued to talk. Well, Sakura-san did, I listened and spoke as little as possible.

"Is Natsuru-san taciturn?"

No, I just don't want to speak.

"You're so cool and groovy!"

Huh? Why such praise, she wasn't supposed to like my quietness.

It was a fairly one-sided conversation. Mostly 'another thing you need to know,' about the school and herself. She told me many things, a lot of things that should be kept private.

I had nothing to say; actually I did, but for that I needed the right timing.

At some point I needed to tell her 'we can't meet again' , but how?

I needed to say it clearly, without hurting Sakura-san. I had to tread carefully and not say it casually. Not like in a drama, 'by the way, I can never see you again' ; dramas are useless. What about news-casting, 'separated by conflict, fated not to see each other until...' , what is this the border of Israel and Lebanon? All the ideas I was coming up with were stupid.

Because of my voice I would have to make it short, or else she'd recognize my voice as the boy Natsuru. My statement would have to be short and concise. 'Let's break up' wouldn't work, we've never dated. ' Get lost!' would just be hurtful.

"I'm addicted to that series..."

What?

I must have missed some of the conversation while thinking of what to say. Sakura-san noticed the question on my face.

"The Entrails Animals series, they're very lovely. Each character's internal organs are protruding here or there. Because Guillotine Zebra has no head, it's hard to imagine what her face would look like though."

As expected from Sakura-san, conversation turned to that series of plush toy. Like Masumi's preference of clothes, this was a strange hobby.

"I'd like to give you one from my collection. Now which one would fit you?"

None, because I already have one.

"I love the new Sun-burnt Lion, dealing with poor complexion rather than exposed viscera."

"Yeah,..." how could I deny it. That toy company should make Sakura-san an executive officer.

"The first series was all exposed internal organs, one is Buried Hyena. That one never sold well and finding them now is very difficult. Now I'll give it to you."

It surely must be rare. How could I accept this kindness?

In the first place this was likely the only time we would meet. I didn't want to continue this relationship but start a new one with me as a man. I was troubled, but happy also.

"Entrails Animals make great gifts. I've even given one to Shizuku-chan for her birthday."

"...?"

"Sangou Shizuku-chan is the president of the student council at school."

Huh, Shizuku also has an Entrails Animal? Do all the beauties of the world have a love of strange disturbing hobbies? That's a deep revelation!

Wait, Shizuku!?

The thoughts in my brain began to churn like the contents of a washing machine. That means...

Just then the sounds of a major disturbance could be heard ahead of us.

"What is it?"

Sakura-san tilted her head. An argument could be heard coming from the shadow of a building.

"Try saying that again!"

"Ya head is full of rotten stinkin' horseshit. Nah, horse diarrhea is jammed in and overflowing from ya skull! Dickwad! Stay away ya piece of..."

"This woman!"

Woman? To avoid getting involved we quietly watched.

It was Akane arguing with the men who were flirting with her earlier. She was growling like a vicious dog. The men didn't seem very pleased with being given a good whaling in the middle of their attempted casual flirtation. Uh oh.

There were three guys, the leader was the Chicken-head. One of them had a yakuza-style tattooed arm, but Akane didn't care. Her eyes gave the impression of a stray dog with rabies, ready to fight a group of yakuza. I edged closer.

One man swung a fist but Akane dodged it easily. The off-balance man stumbled towards me.

My body moved on its own. I grabbed the man and tossed him easily.

"Eep," Sakura-san let out a small scream. Even the screams of Iron Star beauties are refined.

"Oh, the bitch has a friend!?" The two remaining guys spewed a legitimate question.

Yeah, I'm her partner, at least my body was moving as if I was. The fierce-dog girl was getting more agitated though.

Page 167

We faced the two remaining guys, but before you could blink we had moved. When we became Kämpfer we obtained extraordinary power and speed. In less than an instant the flirtatious men were stacked up like futon cushions.

"What do ya' say now you dickwads! Teach yas to treat women dat way!"

Akane continued to yell at the men. They were unconscious, so I don't think they were listening.

She then looked at me, then behind me at Sakura-san.

'Baka-baka' I told myself. If I hung around there too long the insolent mouth of the fierce dog girl would land on us.

"Let's go..." I said to Sakura-san. I didn't want to stick around to see what Akane may say.

Sakura-san's face was the color of red wine, "Awesome!"

What!?

"Natsuru-san is groovy! A woman who can exterminate men..."

Extermination of what I usually am... and will be again once I return to normal.

As far as Sakura-san was concerned, the situation was settled. Her face was radiant. Sakura-san didn't seem to be aware of the relationship between Akane and me.

She stood next to me even though we were in the middle of the street.

"Please..."

What now?

"Please, go out with me!" she exclaimed surprisingly loud.

I almost fainted.

Good Advice[edit]

When other boys at school all say 'we have all been on dates with girls.' I'm not included in the 'we.'

I barely know two girls at school. I live within walking distance to school, so I never share a bus with girls. Other than the previous day when I walked to school with Sakura-san, I always walk alone. I rarely get a chance to meet girls from school.

It's understandable; I'm not proud to say, but I've never dated. To suddenly be dating Sakura Kaede was like a gift from heaven. I would be overjoyed if it weren't for the complicated situation.

I decided to develop strategies preparing for the date. I couldn't afford to ask Hagashida for advice. I had a limited idea of what staying as a Kämpfer for an extended time would involve. Akane was my only choice to rely on.

I went to the library and bowed deeply in front of Akane.

"uh... yes?..."

After I explained the situation to Akane she was clearly bewildered.

"Oh... you're asking me?..."

"You're the only one that I can depend on."

"But things like that... I... I will..."

"Please, please." I repeatedly bowed like that vintage Drinking Bird toy.

We agreed to have an emergency meeting at my house. Akane was frightened, "I'm... going to a man's house... it's my first time." I had to convince her that it was fine, but I was desperate. That's how we ended up face-to-face in my bedroom.

"Sakura-san... she... thinks Natsuru-san is cool, right?"

Akane said holding a tea cup with both hands. I may have made the tea lazily, and even though it was such a strange topic, I had to sit properly.

"But, it doesn't seem likely..."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Uh?"

"Go ahead..."

"Oh, isn't it... I wonder... a kind of confession?"

Of course, I had never been confessed to by a girl before; let alone a girl like Sakura-san. If it were true, and if it were directed to me as a man, would have a heart attack. This was going to give me a heart attack in a different sense.

"Akane-chan, you're saying a girl falling in love with another girl?"

"Well..." she said in a dismissive way.

It was strange, every time I brought up Sakura-san, Akane got in a bad mood. I was starting to wonder if she didn't like Sakura-san.

"I'm inexperienced... I don't really understand love..."

Rather than being apologetic, she sounded more irritated. Again, it seemed like she may hate Sakura-san. I'll have to fix that, when a good chance comes up I'll tell her all the virtues of Sakura-san.

I took a piece of rice cracker. Akane's just jealous because she doesn't have someone special. She's such a nice delicate girl. I'm amazed that she becomes so violent and crude when she transforms.

"I think he should date her," came not from Akane, but Harakiri-tora. "You'll be the envy of the entire school, she's very popular. You should date."

"Oh, yeah he'll do just fine," said another voice. "There's no rule against Kämpfer dating other women. The moderator will sure be surprised - ahahahahaha!"

The wild laughing was coming from another stuffed animal. It was Seppuku Kuro Usagi that Akane had brought.

Another masterpiece of the Entrails Animal series; a black rabbit with a seppuku dagger stuck into its abdomen. One detail was her deeply bloodshot eyes. Young children seeing her in the toy department would cry without fail. It was no wonder that it didn't sell all that well.

As soon as they had arrived, Seppuku Kuro Usagi started swearing 'so this is the dork's house.' Followed by, 'no wonder he's an asshole.' Akane had said, 'because I was nervous coming alone I brought her instead of a bodyguard.' She had the fighting talk of a bodyguard mastered. She and Harakiri-tora hit it off like old friends, talking and laughing. I guess there's a sense of camaraderie among the stuffed animals.

The toy rolled around beating the floor with her short forefoot; glaring at me through one eye while laughing.

"Truth is, I'm not really a woman!"

"Like hell!"

"It's my first date with a girl, even if my sex changes first..."

"...that's one way to date Kaede."

"I'm still me even if female! It's complicated..."

An outsider's objective viewpoint would make things clear, being an involved party confused me.

"So, what happened with Sakura-san at the school?"

"Since I attend a different class, although in the boy's section... it seems she searched every girl's second grade classroom."

"And didn't find you..."

"Right."

"Masumi-chan... she's still searching, because that's the way she is... sounds like it's getting too conspicuous."

Masumi brays like a torn speaker when she yells. It could be heard anywhere.

"So... what's the... decision on the date?" Akane's voice slowly brought me back to reality.

"That's right, she said she would like to meet this upcoming Sunday."

"Are... you going?"

"Probably..." It wasn't possible for me to refuse Sakura-san. It would be useless for me to try.

"Where are you going?..."

"I haven't decided yet." I mean, I wonder if it's up to me to decide where to go. "Usually the man decides where to go, right?"

"Or just leave it to Sakura-san." Harakiri-tora said while rubbing her chin.

She stood up, her face showing an idea had been formed. "Why don't you just stand her up?"

"Idiot, because it would hurt Sakura-san."

"It's also a problem if she likes you."

"I like being liked by her. That's not the problem."

"I think Natsuru-san as a man isn't very interesting," said the hateful stuffed toy.

I wondered if Sakura-san was really homosexual. Could someone so beautiful only be interested in other girls. How could she have so many fans in the boy's section? My delusion would not fade.

I would find out on Sunday. "I don't have any choice but to meet her."

Akane brought up another valid point, "when you meet, what will you do? After all it's a date..."

I figured I'd put up ideas for a vote, "I wonder where we should go."

"Well..."

"Akane-chan, where should we go?"

"Eh..." Akane's cheeks turned bright red. "I... I..."

"For example, if Akane-chan was on a date, where would you like to go the most?"

"Oh... for that I..."

Why did it feel like she was disappointed?

She thought for a minute, "just the movies, or an amusement park..."

"Yeah, an amusement park sounds good."

"If it's just girls... just shopping is nice... but that's different."

That's true; I'd be a girl at the time so it would be a girl's night out.

"I expect you'd be safe shopping."

"Yeah, true."

"If you feel like dressing up even more," Harakiri-tora started to say unnecessary things. "Temples and shrines would be good for a date."

Well, she and I are both high-school students, so we've both visited them during school trips. Nevertheless, it greatly amused Seppuku Kuro Usagi.

"Since temples have graveyards, it'll be like a scary movie; 'Horror Temple.' Yeah, that'll do just fine."

Both stuffed toys enjoyed my difficulties. Harakiri-tora joined in the deep laughter.

"Even without the graveyard it may be good. Since it's an unpopular place to go you'll have less chance of being attacked."

"Who would attack us?"

"The enemy Kämpfer. If you start battling in a department store, you'll be putting others in danger also."

"Oh,..." it reminded me of the attack in the library by the mysterious enemy. There's no guarantee that another attack wouldn't come at any time. I'd also prefer keeping Sakura-san from getting involved again.

My head was throbbing.

"It's best to stay in open areas where you can watch for the enemy. Or where the enemy would stand out. At least for this date."

"Kaede seems to like odd things, so taking her to a weird place should be fine," Seppuku Kuro Usagi added.

Harakiri-tora agreed and ran with it, "maybe a sewage treatment plant. I wouldn't want to visit, but seeing it from afar..."

"A crematorium would be a good place to pass the time. You may even see some spirits departing."

"Take a nap in a quarry; though it may be a rugged climb."

"Break into a building being demolished. If you take a deep breath without a mask you can feel the asbestos."

These guys were getting on my nerves. They didn't know when to stop.

I grabbed them both, and without a word threw them into the closet and shut the door. They continued complaining from inside, 'let us out now or you'll be sorry!' and 'Baka-baka!' Those guys were never at a loss for words.

"I think I know what to do," I said to Akane.

"...you formed a plan?"

"Akane-chan, please come with us!"

"On your date!?"

"I still can't transform myself. I'll need your help."

She hesitated; it was understandable, "isn't that... awkward... to have a third person?"

"I'm nervous that I'll change back unexpectedly. Also, if we're attacked it would be better if you were there. You can just follow from a distance."

"Like a guardian..."

"Exactly!"

Akane didn't answer, so I began imitating the Drinking Bird again.

I think my head was getting used to being in a bowing position. Nah, that must just be my imagination.

Page 179

Notes[edit]

1. Jump up↑ The Table of Contents labels are my own, they do not exist in the original volume.
2. Jump up↑ Cabbage Note: Akane called Natsuru a 'pumpkin head' in chapter 2.
3. Jump up↑ en·ter·i·tis /ˌentəˈrītis/

   Noun: Inflammation of the intestine, esp. the small intestine, usually accompanied by diarrhea.

4. Jump up↑ Tokugawa - Shogunate of the Edo period. Look it up on Wikipedia for more details.
5. Jump up↑ Yellow Ambulance - a typical Japanese belief is that yellow ambulances only carry patients with mental problems.
6. Jump up↑ Dirk - a long thrusting dagger historically used by Scottish Highlanders. Typically a single edge, occasionally with gimping along the spine, making the dull(er) edge appear to have teeth like a saw.