Chapter 1
May I Go to a New World With This Self-Proclaimed Goddess!
1
Horse-drawn carriages rattled along the stone-paved streets of a town.
“It’s…it’s a parallel universe. Look around! We’re in an actual other world! Am I really here? Am I really gonna get to learn magic and go adventuring?!”
I took in the scene before me, quivering with excitement.
Brick buildings stood eave to eave, like a scene straight from Middle Ages Europe.
There were no cars or motorcycles, no utility poles, no cell phone towers.
“Oh man! Ohhh man! Ohmanohmanohman!”
My eyes darted everywhere, watching the people passing by.
“He’s got animal ears—real ones! And there’s an elf! A real elf! She’s gotta be an elf—she’s so beautiful! Good-bye, modern-day hermit life! Hello, fantasy world! Now, this is a place where I could see actually going outside…getting a job and stop being a NEET—”
“Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
I looked at Aqua, who was on her knees beside me, head in her hands.
“Hey, keep it down. What’ll happen if everyone thinks I’m friends with a crazy lady? Anyway, don’t you have something to give me right about now? I mean, look how I’m dressed. I’m wearing a tracksuit! In a fantasy world! If this was a game, I’d at least get some kind of basic starting equipment.”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!”
The goddess grabbed hold of me as she cried.
“Wh-whoa! What’re you doing?! Stop it! I get it; I’ll handle the starter gear myself! I mean—I’m sorry! If you hate it that much here, then fine—go home. I’ll manage somehow.”
My hands brushed Aqua’s as I tried to free my neck from her grip.
To my surprise, her hands were shaking.
“What are you talking about?!” She wept, holding her head and dancing back and forth. “I can’t go home—that’s the problem! What am I gonna do? Arrrgh, come on! What am I supposed to do now?!”
She shook her waist-length hair, and I realized she would be a real beauty if she’d just shut up…but as it was, she came across as a diva. Frankly, I could barely bring myself to look at her.
“Hey, goddess, calm down. At times like this, you have to find the tavern. Start there, gather information. That’s how role-playing games work.”
“Wh—? I thought you were supposed to be some shut-in video game otaku. When did you get so reliable? By the way, Kazuma, my name is Aqua. It’s sweet of you to call me ‘goddess,’ but you should probably use my name while we’re here. If people knew who I really am, we might attract a crowd, and then how would we get to the Demon King? This may be a different world, but I am actually worshipped here.”
With that, Aqua pattered along behind me. I, for my part, was feeling quite confident.
Now, there had to be a group of adventurers resisting the Demon King, or an Adventurers Guild that handled fighting monsters, or something.
Actually, come to think of it—Aqua’s a goddess. Why not ask her?
“Aqua, how about an Adventurers Guild? Know where it is?” I said, but she just stared at me blankly.
“Sorry? I’m sure I don’t know. I know only the most basic things about this world, not every little detail of its towns. Think about it—this is just one world among millions, and this town is just one insignificant settlement out of all the towns in this world. Why should I know anything about it?”
This girl is totally useless.
The conversation wasn’t getting us anywhere, so I stopped a middle-aged woman on the street. It was better than asking a guy, who might’ve turned out to be trouble, or asking a young girl—my anxiety would’ve driven the difficulty of that “quest” through the roof.
“Excuse me, ma’am. May I ask you something? Is there anything like an Adventurers Guild around?”
“A guild? You mean you don’t know? You must be new here.” I relaxed at her words, knowing there had to be a guild here somewhere.
“Yes, ma’am. We’ve come from quite a ways off. We just arrived a little while ago.”
“Oh my… If you’ve come to this town, you must be looking to become adventurers. Welcome to Axel, the town for novice adventurers. If you follow that street and turn right, you’ll see a sign.”
“Straight, then right. Thank you very much, ma’am! …Okay, we’re off!”
The town for novice adventurers, huh?
A starter town. The ideal starting point for new, freshly dead arrivals from some other world.
After thanking the woman and heading down the road she’d pointed out, I could feel Aqua looking at me with new respect as she darted along behind me.
“Hey,” she said with a hint of astonishment, “how’d you come up with that story on the spot? You actually seem quite capable. So then why were you a hermit of an otaku who’d never had a girlfriend or really any friends at all? Why spend your days as a hikiNEET?”
“Not having friends or a girlfriend isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You can’t judge a person’s worth by how many friends they have or if they’re in a relationship. And don’t call me a hikiNEET, you dumb bimbo. Don’t assume all hikikomori are NEETs. I was just sixteen. That’s too young for society to assume I’ll be a member of the workforce… Ah, there it is.”
Aqua made to strangle me at the words dumb bimbo, but I ignored her and went into the Adventurers Guild.
—Adventurers Guild—
You’ll find an Adventurers Guild in every video game. It’s an organization that helps adventurers find work or otherwise supports them. It’s basically a fantasy-world version of Hello Work, that government employment service.
The Guild was housed in a fairly large building, and the smell of food drifted from within.
There was a rough lot inside, no doubt. People who might not think twice about jumping some newcomers.
I steeled myself for conflict as I entered…
…and was greeted by a waitress with short red hair, who said sweetly, “Oh, welcome! If you’re looking for work, go to the counter inside. If you’re here for a meal, please take any open seat.”
The dim interior looked to be home to a tavern.
People in armor wandered here and there, but no one seemed especially out to cause trouble.
We did seem to be getting a lot of attention, though. At first I thought maybe they didn’t get many newcomers here.
Then it dawned on me.
“Hey, I don’t like the way they’re looking at me,” Aqua said. “I know! It’s the goddess aura I exude—they’ve figured out who I really am!”
Everyone was checking out the goddess who stood beside me, spewing inanities. It made sense that she would attract attention. After all, she would be really beautiful, if she could keep her mouth shut.
I decided to ignore the stares and pursue my original objective.
“Listen, Aqua. Once we register, the Guild will give us some tutorials, teaching us how to survive as new adventurers. They should lend us enough money to go on an adventure and get us work that’ll keep food on the table even though we’re just starting out. Maybe they’ll let us know where the best inns are. Most games start this way. Normally I’d say it was your job to make sure we had the basic necessities for life in this world, but…never mind. Today, let’s just get registered, make sure we’ve got enough money for starter equipment, and find somewhere to sleep.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My job is to send dead people to this world. But, fine. I don’t know anything about video games, but I take it this is how you get started in this kind of world. I just have to register as an adventurer, right?”
“That’s right. Let’s go!”
I pulled Aqua along toward the counter.
There were four receptionists.
Two were women.
I went to the prettier of the two.
“Hey, we could’ve gone to any of the other three and not had to wait in line,” Aqua said from behind me. “Why’d you pick this one? Wait, I get it. It’s because she’s the prettiest, isn’t it? Sheesh, just when I think maybe I can count on you for something…”
She doesn’t know anything. I turned to her and said in a whisper, “Lesson one, be on good terms with the girl at the Guild. Lesson two, the pretty ones always have a backstory. There’s gotta be an event flag waiting. Someday we’ll find out that girl used to be a renowned hunter or something.”
“Come to think of it, I’ve seen that sort of thing in comic books, too. Sorry. I’ll just stand in line here.”
The receptionists at the open windows all glared at us for deliberately lining up at this one, but I ignored them.
Finally it was our turn.
“Hello, how can I help you today?” The receptionist seemed very gentle and was certainly very beautiful. Her wavy hair and generous bosom gave her a mature look.
“Um, we’d like to become adventurers, but we just got here from the countryside and don’t have any idea what to do…”
If I dropped in a bit about being from the sticks or some other land, the receptionist would presumably take the initiative to tell us what we needed to know.
“I see… Well, a registration fee is required. Will that be all right?”
There you go. A tutorial, just like that.
Now we just had to do what she’d told us, and…
…Registration fee?
“…Hey, Aqua, you got any cash?”
“What do you think? As if I had time to grab my wallet when you dragged me off here!”
What were we going to do? Maybe we could get a loan for starters, or postpone the fee?
Aqua and I stepped away from the window to plan our strategy.
“What’re we gonna do now? We’ve been at this for five minutes and we’ve already hit a roadblock! In a game, you usually just start with some basic equipment, or at least a little money.”
“Gosh, what happened to that manly confidence you had a few minutes ago? Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped. You are a hikikomori. Fine, my turn. You just watch. I’ll show you what it means to be a goddess.”
A man was sitting nearby in what seemed to be priest’s vestments, ratty and worn though they were. Aqua boldly strode up to him.
“You, priest! State your denomination! I am Aqua! Yes, Aqua, she who is venerated by the Church of Axis! If you be among my followers……it would…really help if you could…lend me some money.”
I couldn’t tell if she was commanding or begging.
“I’m afraid I’m of the Eris sect…”
“Oh, is that so? Sorry to bother you, then…”
I guess he wasn’t one of her followers.
Aqua turned dejectedly and made to leave, but the priest called out to her.
“Oh, miss…! You’re a follower of the Axis sect? In the old stories, the goddesses Aqua and Eris were said to be senior and junior to each other. It must be fate that brought you to me. I saw you didn’t have enough money to pay the registration fee. Here, let me give you enough for that. Call it Eris’s blessing. But, miss—however devoted a follower you may be, you shouldn’t call yourself a goddess!”
“Oh…right. Sorry. Thank you very much…”
Aqua took the money and came back, wearing a look that reminded me of a dead fish.
“Ha-ha… He didn’t even believe I was a goddess… You know, Eris is my junior. I got money because the follower of an under-goddess of mine took pity on me…”
“W-well, hey—all’s well that ends well, right? It would’ve been a problem if he had believed you, wouldn’t it?” Aqua looked like she’d lost something important, and I wanted to say something encouraging.
“Um, ma’am, we’ve…got the registration fee.”
“Uh…huh. That will be one thousand eris each, please.”
The priest had given Aqua three thousand eris. According to Aqua, one eris was roughly equal to one yen, so he’d basically given her three thousand yen.
The girl at the window hadn’t said anything about our little display with the priest. In fact, she seemed to hardly want to look at us. So much for lesson one.
“Now, you’ve said you want to become adventurers, so I assume you have some idea of what’s involved. But just in case, please allow me to explain. First of all, adventurers are those who fight the monsters—that is, creatures who do harm to people—outside town. However, they are also jacks-of-all-trades. Adventurer is simply a generic term for those who have accepted this life as their vocation. Each one also has an occupation.”
There it was! Finally!
This was what defined an adventurer. Call it an occupation, a job, a class—this was where we got to choose our fighting style.
Forget being some run-of-the-mill warrior. A good, flashy spell-caster class was in my future.
The receptionist set a card in front of me and another in front of Aqua. It was about the size of a driver’s license—presumably some kind of identification.
“You see the line marked level? As you know, every creature in this world has a soul within it. Whenever we eat or kill or otherwise end the life of another living thing, we absorb some portion of its memories. The memories we absorb are widely known as experience points. Typically, you can’t see them. However…”
She pointed to another part of the card.
“…this section will show an adventurer how many experience points he or she has gained. The corresponding level will be shown, too. So the card’s a guidepost to an adventurer’s strength and also indicates how many monsters he or she has defeated. Any living thing, once it gains enough experience, will suddenly and dramatically grow in its abilities. People often describe this as reaching a new plateau or, in a word, leveling up… At any rate, when your level goes up, you gain points, which you can spend on new skills as well as a variety of other benefits. So make sure to work hard and raise your level.”
That reminded me of what Aqua had said.
You like video games, right?
Now it made sense. Everything the girl just explained was straight out of an RPG.
“I’d like you both to fill out this form. Please give your height, weight, age, and distinctive physical features.”
I began to write on the form she handed me. Height, five foot four; weight, a hundred and twenty pounds. Sixteen years old, brown hair, brown eyes…
“All right, thank you. Now, each of you—please touch these cards. They will show your stats so you can pick a class that matches your abilities. Based on that class, you may also be able to learn specialized skills at higher levels, so consider that when deciding on your occupation.”
Ooh, that was quick.
This was where my incredible latent abilities would become evident—no doubt the entire Guild Hall would be in an uproar. I touched the card with a mixture of trepidation and excitement.
“…All right, thank you. Mr.…Kazuma Satou, is that right? Let’s see… Strength, Vitality, Magic, Agility…all average. Your Intelligence is on the high side… Huh? Your Luck is extremely high. Though Luck isn’t a very useful stat for adventurers, I’m afraid… What should we do? With these stats, you can’t actually specialize. You’ll have to choose the basic Adventurer class. With your Luck, I might even recommend you give up adventuring and become a merchant instead… Would you like to do that?”
Wait, did I just get rejected as an adventurer? What’s this about?
It was all I could do not to smack the snickering goddess beside me.
If I was weak, it would be as much a problem for her as for me.
“F-fine, just…Adventurer then, please.”
“W-well,” the girl said with a worried look, “as your level goes up, your stats will improve, and you can eventually change jobs! And—notice how the Adventurer class shares its name with the word that refers to everyone who goes on adventures? It’s a sort of general occupation. Just because it’s a starter class doesn’t mean it’s bad. People with the Adventurer job can learn and use skills from any class!”
“The trade-off is that skills take tons of points to learn, and you can’t expect them to be anywhere near as effective as when someone of the proper class uses them. Jack-of-all-trades, master of none!” Leave it to Aqua to rain on my parade.
I wondered if I could just lose her somewhere.
Anyway, starter class or “general occupation,” it looked like I was stuck as an Adventurer. The weakest class of all.
But it didn’t matter. The weakest adventurer was still an adventurer, and I was just as poised to take on a world out of my video games. It was with no small stirring of my heart that I took the card with my name and the word ADVENTURER…
“Wh—whaaaat?! Where did these numbers come from?! Besides your below-average Intelligence and your abysmal Luck, all your stats are vastly above average! Your Magic is the most amazing of all! Who or what are you, ma’am?!” The receptionist could barely contain herself as she looked at Aqua’s card.
The building filled with excited murmurs.
Wait, wasn’t that supposed to happen for me?
“R-really? S-so I’m amazing or something? Well, I guess I am me, after all…”
She might be obnoxious, but she was still a goddess.
Even so, it was hard not to hate her as she grew more and more pleased with her stats.
“A-amazing doesn’t begin to cover it! You can’t pick the Wizard class, which requires high Intelligence, but…you can be anything else at all! You could be a Crusader—a Knight famed for impenetrable defense—or you could be a Sword Master, with unparalleled attack power! You could be an Arch-priest, the most advanced of the Priest classes. You can start in some of the most advanced occupations available!”
Aqua seemed to mull that over.
“I see, I see… It’s just a shame goddess isn’t a class. Well, maybe Arch-priest would be right for me, then.”
“Arch-priest it is! A very versatile class, with all types of healing and support spells, but also strong enough to stand fearlessly at the front line! Let’s see…Arch-priest… There. Welcome to the Adventurers Guild, honored Aqua! I and the entire staff look forward to your future exploits!”
The girl at the desk had a huge smile on her face.
…What is going on here? Seriously, am I the main character or not?
Well, never mind.
And this was how my life as an adventurer in a new world began.
2
“All riiiight—good work, everyone! That’s it for today! Here, come and get your pay!”
“Thank you, sir! Another good day of work, sir!”
“Whooo, work!”
At the foreman’s announcement of the end of the workday, Aqua and I each offered a word of thanks and a bow of the head.
“Okay, everyone,” I said. “See you tomorrow!”
“Whooo, tomorrow!” Aqua echoed as I said good-bye to the other workers.
“Right, good work! And tomorrow’s another day!” With the others’ voices still in our ears, Aqua and I walked off the site.
Phew! Another day’s work finished.
Even I could hardly believe I was once a hikikomori. Aqua and I headed for the town’s largest public bath, clutching our day’s wages.
The baths here were more or less the same as the ones in Japan. The entry fee was maybe a bit higher compared to the average wage, but a hot bath after a long day of work was something I couldn’t let fall by the wayside, even if it was a little expensive.
“Awww, yeah… That’s the stuff…”
I sank into the steaming bath up to my shoulders, letting the water wash away the day’s fatigue.
This world looked a bit like the Middle Ages, and I’d always assumed baths would be a luxury in a fantasy world, but apparently I’d been wrong.
And thank goodness…!
Aqua left the bath and waited for me at the entrance. I guess it’s not very chivalrous to make a woman wait while you finish soaking, but then again, maybe that’s just a bath-loving Japanese person for you.
“What do you wanna eat today? I want a Smoke Lizard burger. And a nice cold Crimson Neroid!”
“Yeah, I’d like some meat, too. Well, how about we get the guy at the inn to whip us up a couple of his Smoke Lizard hamburger combo meals?”
“No objections!”
Aqua and I wolfed down our meals, and then, with nothing special to do, we went back to the stable we were staying at.
I picked the hay that smelled the least like horse poop to make my bed and lay right down. Aqua was curled up nearby as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
“’Kay, g’night!”
“…Night. Man, we really did some work today…”
And so I began to drift off into a deep, satisfied sl…
“Wait, hold on a minute!”
I bolted upright.
“What’s wrong? Did you forget to use the toilet before bed? It’s dark outside. Want me to go with you?”
“No! That’s not it. Why are we doing manual labor every day?”
Yes.
Aqua and I had spent every day of the last two weeks working on an expansion to the town wall. I.e., doing construction work.
This was a far cry from the adventuring I’d expected when I came here.
Come to think of it, how had Aqua adapted so uncomplainingly to this life?
She’s a goddess, isn’t she?
“Well, it’s ’cause if you want to eat, you have to work. Don’t you like construction? Sheesh. This is why you’re a hikiNEET. You could hawk goods in the shopping district, if you’d rather?”
“That’s not the point! I want—I came here for heart-pounding battles with monsters, okay? I thought the Demon King’s invasion was threatening this place! But you couldn’t find a more peaceful world! There’s no demons; there’s hardly any kings—what did we come here for?!”
Our voices got louder as our tempers flared, until we heard shouts nearby:
“Hey, you! Shaddup! People are tryin’ to sleep!”
“Oh! Sorry! So sorry…”
Novice adventurers are poor, okay? They don’t have the money for a room at the inn every night. Usually they pool their resources with other adventurers and sleep in one big dormitory-style room, but right now, all we could afford to rent was a haystack in the stables.
Yeah…definitely not living up to how I’d envisioned the adventuring life in a fantasy world.
Staying at the inn was sort of like if you slept in a hotel every night back in Japan. Not a lifestyle for those without a steady income—like us, for example.
Video games normally feature some simple starter quests, like harvesting herbs or hunting some monsters near town. No such thing here. Plus, monsters don’t just spew money when you defeat them, either.
The monsters that lived in the forest near town had been wiped out long ago. And who’d pay money for someone to gather herbs in a perfectly peaceful forest?
No one, obviously.
Even children left the town’s walls with impunity. There was a guard at the gate, sure, but not the kind who locks everything down so tight an ant could hardly get in. The forest wasn’t big enough to be that worrisome—if anything dangerous showed up, the people just went out and got rid of it.
I guess it made sense when you thought about it, but it was all a bit too real-world-y for my liking.
In a game, a fresh-faced adventurer could go out in the woods, spend half a day picking easily distinguishable plants and herbs, and make enough money to pay for three square meals and a soft bed, too.
But when in real life has there ever been such easy money?
Think about it. Even in a rich country like Japan, have you ever met a laborer who spends every day of his life in a decent hotel?
Minimum wage? Labor laws? What are those? Are they tasty?
Welcome to your RPG fantasy.
“I—I know all that. This is the farthest town from the Demon King’s castle. He’d never bother attacking all the way out here, especially a town with nothing but greenhorns. So, Kazuma, you’re telling me you want to go on a real adventure? Before you’ve even gotten any gear together?”
In the face of Aqua’s blunt analysis, there was nothing I could say.
It was true. Aqua and I lacked even the most basic provisions for adventuring. We’d taken our nice, safe construction jobs in hopes of saving up enough to buy some equipment.
“I’m getting pretty tired of construction… I didn’t come all the way to a land of swords and sorcery just to work with my hands. I came here to adventure—no computers or game consoles needed. I was sent here to drive out the Demon King, wasn’t I?”
For a moment, Aqua looked at me as though she couldn’t understand what I was talking about. Then she exclaimed, “Oh, that’s right! We did mean to do something like that, didn’t we? I got so caught up in the joy of work that I completely forgot, but if you don’t take out the Demon King, I can’t go home, can I?”
I was a bit taken aback by her words, until I recalled the receptionist’s remark that Aqua’s Intelligence stat was below average.
“Fine, let’s go take him out! You’ve got me with you, so we’ll be fiiiine. You can count on me!”
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this… But I guess you are a goddess. All right, it’s up to you! Tomorrow we’ll get the cheapest equipment we can find and then start working on our levels!”
“Just leave it to me!”
“I thought I told you to shaddup! Don’t make me come over there!”
“Sorry! Pardon us!”
Even as we apologized to the other adventurer, my heart was dancing in my chest, and soon I was asleep.
3
There wasn’t a cloud in the bright blue sky.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! Help me! Aqua, help meee!”
“Pffft! Hee-hee-hee! This is great! Kazuma, your face is so red! The tears, the desperation—I love it!”
Right. I’ll bury her in the ground on my way home.
Even as I plotted to leave Aqua in the dirt, I ran around screaming for her help as the Giant Toad, a massive frog-like monster, chased me.
We were in the vast field surrounding the town.
This was where grabbing a quest at the Guild had gotten us…
I had a short sword, the most minimal of weaponry. Aqua, for her part, had said some dumb thing about how a goddess waving a sword just wouldn’t look right, and so she was currently without any weapon at all. Instead, she gaily watched the toad chase me around.
I guess you can’t underestimate your enemy, even when he’s a frog.
These frogs—sorry, toads—were bigger than cows. During mating season, they needed strength to lay their eggs and so would migrate to human towns, where there was plenty of food…as in the local farmers’ goats, which the toads would swallow whole.
Since Aqua and I hardly weighed more than a couple of goats ourselves, we were both pretty concerned by this revelation. As a matter of fact, it turned out that every year, around Giant Toad mating season, a number of farmers and even children would go missing from the town.
On the outside, these monsters looked just like huge frogs. But they were far more dangerous than the weaklings that had been cleared out of the area so long ago.
Incidentally, their meat, while a little tough, was light and mild-tasting and was considered a delicacy.
We’d heard that their thick layer of fat protected them from physical attacks. Then again, we’d also heard that because Giant Toads hate metal, if you wore even just a tiny bit of armor you could avoid being eaten, so they weren’t so hard to deal with after all. That’s why experienced adventurers enjoyed hunting them. We, however…
“Aqua! Aqua!! Don’t just stand there laughing—help meee!”
“Maybe you could start by showing me a bit of respect.”
“Lady Aquaaaaa!”
I’d get her later. Bury her up to her neck and leave her there so she knew how scary it was to be at the mercy of a Giant Toad. Nearly in tears, I glanced back at the creature pursuing me. But it had turned away from me. It was looking at…
“Well, all right! I guess I have to help you out, then, you hikiNEET. In return, I expect you to worship me—starting tomorrow! When we get back to town, you have to join the Axis Church and pray to me three times a day! At meals, if I ask for something on your plate, you have to give it to me without complaint! And—Hrgh?!”
Aqua and all her self-aggrandizing suddenly vanished.
The Giant Toad that had been chasing me had stopped moving. From one corner of its mouth, something blue was sprouting.
It was…
“Aqua! H-hey, don’t you dare get eaten!”
Aqua’s leg hung out the side of the frog’s mouth, shaking.
I drew my short sword—and leaped at the Giant Toad!
“Sniffle… Waaaaah! Sniff…”
Aqua squatted on the ground in front of me, hugging her knees. She was dripping with slime.
Next to her lay the Giant Toad, its head split open.
“Sniff…sniff… Th-thank you, Kazuma… Thank you…! Waaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!”
She hadn’t stopped crying since I’d pulled her from the toad’s mouth.
I guess even goddesses don’t like being eaten.
“I-it’s all right, Aqua. Take it easy… Hey, let’s go home for today. The quest was to kill five toads in three days, but we’re obviously in over our heads. Let’s get some more gear first. I mean, I’ve got a short sword and a tracksuit… I’d at least like to look like an adventurer.”
I’d been able to kill the toad that swallowed Aqua mainly because Giant Toads stop moving when they swallow their prey. I never would have had the guts to go up against a toad that was happily hopping toward me to attack.
But Aqua, her whole body covered in gleaming toad mucus, rose to her feet.
“Sniff… How can a goddess just allow herself to be brought down to this level by some frog? I’ve been defiled! If one of my followers saw me now, they’d lose all faith in me! If it got out that I’d been laid low by a frog, the reputation of the beautiful and awesome Aqua would be for naught!”
She sweat every day as she lugged around construction loads, thrilled to be able to carry more than a bunch of middle-aged men. She looked forward to nothing more than dinner after a good bath. Every night she slept next to me on a hay bale, drool dribbling down her chin… But cover her in a little frog slime, and now she worried about appearances?
Before I could stop her, Aqua dashed off toward another Giant Toad in the distance.
“Whoa! Hey, wait—Aqua!”
She ignored me, closing the gap between her and the monster. With all the energy that propelled her, her fist began to emit a white light, and she slammed it into the toad’s belly.
“Know the power of the gods! You shouldn’t have stood against me—and bared your fangs against us—but you’ll have time to regret that in Hell! God Strike!”
I recalled hearing from a Guild employee that physical attacks weren’t all that effective against Giant Toads.
Aqua’s fist sank into the monster’s soft stomach with a glug, and the toad casually looked down at her…
Aqua met his eyes. “Y-you know, now that I see you up close, I r-realize how cute Giant Toads really are…”
For the second time that day, I set upon a monster immobilized while eating its meal, and for the second time, I rescued a sobbing, slime-covered goddess.
We decided to call it a day.
4
“The problem is, the two of us alone are totally outmatched. We need some allies!”
When we got back to town, we’d gone directly to the bathhouse. Then we’d headed to the Adventurers Guild, where we were eating fried frog legs and holding a war council.
The Guild Hall functioned as both an adventurers’ meeting place and a recreation facility. You could buy and sell monster parts, and a large tavern served up monster-based dishes.
We’d gotten two frogs’ worth of meat today, which we sold to the Guild for some pocket change.
We could hardly carry back those carcasses ourselves. But the Guild offered a transport service—for a price. Minus the transport fee, we earned five thousand eris for each frog. All told, it was barely more than we’d been making in construction.
Then again, the fried frog—while a little tough—was way better than I’d expected. When I first got to this world, I’d been loath to eat things like lizards or frogs, but it turned out they were pretty good in a combo meal.
The goddess sitting across from me, though, didn’t need any encouragement to eat everything that was put in front of her.
“Sure, but…we’re brand-new adventurers who don’t even have any decent gear. What kind of ‘allies’ would join our party?”
Aqua waved her fork back and forth, her mouth full of frog leg.
“Doan’ worry abouf it! I’m the one whof’ll be recruifing!”
“Swallow first! Swallow first, then talk!”
She gulped down her mouthful of food. “I’m here. When word gets out we want party members, they’ll come. I am an Arch-priest, you know—an advanced class! I can use all kinds of healing magic; I can cure paralysis and poisoning, even revive the dead! What party wouldn’t want me? I might not have anywhere near my full power, thanks to you dragging me down to the mortal realm, but—Ahem! I’m the great Aqua, aren’t I? Pretty soon they’ll be knocking at our door. ‘Please let us join you!’ they’ll say. Get it? Now, pass me another fried frog leg.”
With that, she grabbed a leg off my plate, and I looked at this self-proclaimed goddess with a sinking feeling.
5
At the Adventurers Guild the next day:
“………Where are they?” Aqua groaned.
We’d posted a notice that we were seeking party members and then set up shop at a table in a far corner of the Guild Hall…but so far we’d been sitting here for more than half the day, and not one candidate for “Future Hero” had shown up.
Maybe no one had seen our posting.
There were lots of other adventurers looking for party members. But they seemed to have one interview after another and then, after a friendly chat, would go off somewhere with their new ally.
I knew why no one was coming to our table.
“Maybe we need to lower our standards a little. I get that we’re trying to defeat the Demon King here, but the part that says, ‘Only those of advanced classes need apply’ is probably putting people off.”
“Uhh… But… But…”
The class system in this fantasy world included what were called “advanced classes.” Aqua’s class, Arch-priest, was an example. It was a stage normal people would never reach—heroes of legend, if you will. And obviously, most everyone with that kind of talent had already found parties…
Aqua was probably just looking to get the most powerful people we could to help us take on the Demon King. But…
“At this rate, no one’s going to show up. Anyway, you might be an advanced class, but I have the lowest job there is. How can I hold my head up if my entire party’s full of elite characters? Let’s cast a wider net, please?” As I spoke, I made to stand up. But then…
“I saw the notice seeking adventurers of advanced classes. Is this the right place?”
I met a red eye that looked oddly languid, almost sleepy. Full black hair that just barely reached the shoulders.
The girl who’d spoken to us was the very image of a spell-caster: black mantle and black robe, black boots, a staff, even a pointy hat. She had doll-like features—one of those “Lolita” types.
I knew it wasn’t unusual in this world for children to work, but this girl couldn’t have been more than twelve or thirteen. She was short and wore a patch over one eye, and suddenly she threw back her mantle and declared: “I am Megumin! I am of the occupation Arch-wizard, one who wields the most powerful of all offensive magics, Explosion!”
“…Are you messing with us?”
“I—I am not!”
She didn’t seem to expect me to dismiss her self-introduction.
And what was with that name, anyway?
“…That red eye. Are you one of the Crimson Magic Clan?”
The girl nodded at Aqua’s question and passed her Adventurer’s Card to Aqua.
“Indeed I am! I am Megumin, first among the spell-casters of the Crimson Magic Clan! My ultimate magic can level mountains and shatter stone…! Y-you don’t happen to need an exceptional magic-user, do you? …And if you will pardon my asking, could you give me something to eat before we start the interview? I haven’t had a bite to eat in three days…” She looked at us pleadingly.
At the same moment, her stomach gave a loud gurgle.
“I don’t mind treating you,” I said. “But what’s with the eye patch? If you’re injured, Aqua here can fix you up.”
“…Heh. This is a magic item that restrains my incredible power. If I removed it…why, then a great calamity would come upon this world…”
“Wow, really? So it’s like some kind of seal?”
“Oh, no, I made all that up just now. I just think it looks cool… Ow! I’m sorry! Stop! Please don’t pull on it!”
“All right, let me fill in Kazuma,” Aqua said as I tugged on Megumin’s eye patch. “These kids, the Crimson Magic Clan, are born with exceptionally high Intelligence and Magic, making it easy for them to become expert spell-casters. They’re distinguished by their red eyes, which give them their name and…well, their weird personal names.”
Huh. I’d thought she was just teasing me about the eye patch and the name.
I let the patch go, and Megumin collected herself.
“Weird names, indeed! From my perspective it is everyone else in town who has a weird name.”
“…Out of curiosity, what were your parents’ names?”
“My mother is Yuiyui. My father, Hyoizaburou!”
Aqua and I looked at her in silence.
“…Well, anyway. You said this kid’s people turn out a lot of great magic-users? How about we take her, then?”
“Hey! If you have something to say about my parents’ names, let us hear it!” Megumin shoved her face up close to mine. Aqua quickly returned her Adventurer’s Card.
“Why not? You can’t forge an Adventurer’s Card, and this girl’s definitely an Arch-wizard, an advanced class capable of powerful offensive magic. If she really can use Explosion, that would be a big deal. That’s supposed to be among the most difficult magic to master.”
“Hey,” Megumin said hotly, “you do not have to call me this girl all the time. Use my name.”
I passed her a menu. “Calm down and order something. I’m Kazuma. This is Aqua. Pleasure to meet you, Arch-wizard.”
Megumin looked like she was about to say something, then silently took the menu.
6
“Explosion is the most powerful of magics. But it takes time to prepare in proportion to its power. I will need you to hold that toad at bay until I am ready.”
Aqua, the now-sated Megumin, and I had come to get some revenge on the Giant Toads.
We could see one of them far off across the field. It had noticed us and was coming closer. But we could also see other toads approaching from the opposite direction.
“Use your magic to target the one that’s farther away. As for the closer ones…well, here we go, Aqua. Time to get our payback. You keep telling me you used to be a—y’know. Why don’t you show me what you can do?”
“What do you mean, used to be?! It’s present tense: I am a goddess! I’m just an Arch-priest for now!”
Megumin gave the self-proclaimed goddess a strange look as Aqua strangled me with tears flying from her eyes.
“A…goddess?”
“…I-is what she calls herself! Poor kid. Sometimes she just lets it slip, you know? Don’t pay her any attention.” As I spoke, Megumin looked sympathetically at Aqua.
The tearful Aqua made a fist and lunged desperately at the nearest frog.
“Whatever! I know Giant Toads are supposed to be resistant to physical attacks, but this time I’m going to show you what a goddess can do! Just you watch, Kazuma! I didn’t get my glory last time, but today—!”
With that, Aqua, who seemed to have learned nothing from her previous foray into a frog’s digestive system, ceased to move and stalled the Giant Toad in her own way.
Only a true goddess would sacrifice herself to buy her allies some time!
That was when the air around Megumin began to tremble.
Even I, who didn’t know the first thing about magic, could see that what Megumin was cooking up was serious stuff. Her voice grew louder as she chanted the incantation, and a single bead of sweat rolled down her forehead.
“Behold! The most powerful magic known to mankind! This is truly the ultimate attack magic!”
The end of Megumin’s staff began to glow. The vast light condensed until it was tiny but piercingly bright. Megumin’s red eye glowed as she opened it wide.
“Explosion!!”
A single beam of light flew across the field. It raced from the end of her staff and enveloped the frog that was coming in our direction.
Then I saw the effect of this dire magic.
The frog burst into tiny pieces with a light bright enough to set your head spinning and a roar that shook the air. I planted my feet and covered my eyes against a shock wave that threatened to send me flying. When the smoke cleared, a twenty-meter-wide crater lay where the creature had been, speaking to the awesomeness of the blast.
“In-cred-ible! So this is magic…” At that moment, while I was admiring Megumin’s spell, a Giant Toad—perhaps awakened by the sound and the shock wave—crawled up from under the ground.
I’d been wondering how the toads survived in an area without rainfall or a major water source, but I’d never thought they might do it by living underground.
The toad was crawling out near Megumin but moving very slowly.
I just had to get her back far enough to prepare another explosion.
“Megumin! Let’s fall back, then we can hit them agai—”
That was as far as I got before I saw Megumin…and stopped in my tracks.
She had collapsed.
“M-my magic is utterly powerful, b-but it takes strength e-equal to its power… I’ve overexerted myself and w-will not be moving for a while… Oh, who could have known a toad would appear right near me? This is trouble. I shall be eaten. P-please help—Mfffgh?!”
I finished off the two toads Megumin and Aqua had immobilized. And so it was that we did actually kill five Giant Toads in three days…
Quest successful.
7
“Sniffle…sniffle… It stinks… My clothes stiiink…!”
A whimpering, slime-covered Aqua trudged behind me.
“The inside of a Giant Toad smells bad, but it’s rather cozy and warm. Add that to the list of things I never really wanted to know firsthand.” The equally slime-covered Megumin was perched on my back, offering up facts I myself didn’t really want to know.
It turns out that when a spell-caster uses a spell that goes beyond the limits of her MP, she makes up the difference out of her HP. Use a major spell when your mana is running low, and it could even put your life at risk.
“Save your explosions for emergencies from now on, Megumin,” I said. “You should stick to smaller stuff most of the time.”
I felt her hand, resting on my shoulder, clench. “I…can’t.”
“Huh?” I said dumbly. “You can’t what?”
She gripped my shoulder even harder. I felt her small chest pressing against my back. “I can’t…use anything but Explosion. I’m completely incapable of casting any other spells.”
“…You’re kidding.”
“No, I am not.”
Megumin and I fell silent. Aqua, who’d been quietly sniffling in the background the whole time, finally saw fit to enter the conversation.
“What do you mean, you can’t use anything but Explosion? If you have enough skill points for that, surely you have enough to learn other spells, too?”
…Skill points?
Oh yeah—the girl at the Guild had said something about points being connected to learning skills. Aqua saw my expression and explained—
“You get skill points when you choose a class, and you use them to learn abilities. The better you are, the more points you start with, and you can allocate them to various skills. For example, I am very exceptional, so I started by learning all the party-trick skills and then all the magic appropriate to an Arch-priest.”
“What are party-trick skills for?”
Aqua ignored my question.
“The types of skills a person can learn are limited by their class and personality,” she went on. “For example, someone who hates water would have to spend more points to learn ice- or water-related skills or, in a worst-case scenario, might not be able to learn them at all. Explosive magics are part of the category called multi-type magic, because they rely on a deep knowledge of both fire and air magic, among others. Someone who can learn a spell from the explosive magics should have no problem learning other elemental magic.”
“In other words, there’s no reason you should be able to use an advanced spell like Explosion and not easier spells.” I paused. “So. When and where does one use party-trick skills?”
From my back, Megumin whispered, “I…am an Arch-wizard who adores Explosion above all else. I do not care for all the explosive magics—Explosion is my only love.”
I was starting to wonder what made Explosion different from any other “explosive magics.”
I had no idea, but Aqua seemed to be taking Megumin’s declaration of uniqueness quite seriously.
Actually, you know what? The thing about “party-trick skills” bugged me even more than the semantics of magically blowing stuff up.
“Of course it might be easier for me to go adventuring if I took other skills. Even abilities in the basic elements of fire, water, earth, and air would help me… But I cannot. I love only Explosion. Even if, with my present MP, I can cast it only once a day. Even if I collapse after casting it. It does not matter. I love only Explosion! Indeed, I chose the path of the Arch-wizard merely and solely so I could cast that one spell!”
“Incredible!” Aqua said. “Just wonderful! When I see you pursuing something so utterly impractical—and yet so romantic—I’m moved to tears…!”
Well, this was no good. Looked like this mage had decided to specialize in being useless. The ultimate proof was that Aqua sympathized with her.
Our recent battles with the Giant Toads had left me doubting whether this goddess was going to be any help to me at all. To be blunt, Aqua was a liability all by herself. To take on another problem child…
All right. I’d made up my mind.
“Wow, is that so?” I said. “Well, it won’t be an easy road, but stay strong! Oh, hey, there’s the town! When we get to the Guild, let’s split the reward three ways. And then, who knows? Maybe we’ll meet again someday…”
As I spoke, Megumin’s grip on my shoulder tightened.
“Heh… My one desire is to let off Explosion. Any reward is merely a bonus. I do not need an equal share. Give me enough for a meal and a bath and some necessities, and I will ask nothing further. Yes! You can have me, an Arch-wizard, for hardly more than the price of a meal! Could you do anything other than take me on long-term under such conditions?”
“Ha-ha! Oh, we couldn’t! Such phenomenal power would be wasted on a small-fry party like ours! Pearls before swine, you know? A regular spell-caster would be plenty for a couple of novices like us. Look at me—I’m the lowest possible class!”
As I spoke, I tried desperately to loosen Megumin’s grip on my shoulder so I could send her on her way as soon as we reached the Guild Hall. Megumin tried desperately to hold on.
“Not at all! I don’t mind in the least if this is a weak or inexperienced party. I may belong to an advanced class, but I am a novice myself. I am only Level 6! I am sure that with a few more levels I will stop collapsing every time I cast a spell. R-right? S-so please, s-stop trying to p-pull my hand away…”
“No, no, no. A spell-caster who can cast only one spell per day? That’s hardly user-friendly. Oof! Wh-who’d have thought a mage could have such a strong grip…? Hey, leggo! You’ve probably been kicked out of other parties, too, haven’t you? Think about it! If we go into a dungeon, you won’t be able to use your Explosion in a confined space like that! You won’t be able to help us at all! H-hey, let go already! Don’t worry—we’ll give you the reward from this quest! Now let…go!”
“Please don’t abandon me! No other party will take me! When we go into a dungeon, I can…I can carry your bags for you! I’ll do anything! I’m begging you, please don’t leave me!”
Maybe it was the girl on my back shouting, “Please don’t abandon me!” at the top of her lungs that attracted the looks and whispers of passersby. By now, we were already in town. Usually just Aqua alone was enough to gather a crowd, so we must have really stood out.
“Oh my goodness… That man is going to abandon that poor girl…”
“What’s all over that woman next to him? Is that slime?”
“He made such a young girl his plaything—and now he’s just going to throw her away? Disgusting! Look—both those girls are slimy! What kind of sick games was that perv playing with them?”
…I seemed to be the subject of a major misunderstanding.
I hated the way Aqua smirked when she heard those comments. And then it turned out Megumin had picked up on them, too.
As I looked over my shoulder at her, her mouth twisted, then opened…
“I’ll play whatever games you want! I’ll even put up with the slime play you showed me with those Giant Toads earlier!”
“All right, all right, enough! Welcome aboard, Megumin!”
8
“All right, I see you killed five Giant Toads within three days, as requested. The completion of your quest is confirmed. Good work, everyone!”
I made our report to the receptionist at the Adventurers Guild and received the posted reward.
Aqua and Megumin both stank of toad slime and might have caused more untoward misconceptions to boot, so I’d sent them off to the public bath.
I had been a little concerned about proving we’d killed all five toads, since one of them had been vaporized by a magical explosion, but it turned out my Adventurer’s Card indicated how many monsters I’d killed and of what type. I presented my card to the receptionist along with Megumin’s, and the girl simply used a strange box on the counter to check them.
It was true that magic rather than science had been the focus of development in this world, but there was still some pretty amazing technology here.
When I looked at my card again, it said ADVENTURER LEVEL 4.
I’d heard Giant Toads were an easy way for beginning adventurers to raise their level. I’d taken out four of them all by myself, and it had been enough to get me to Level 4. Then again, the lower your level, the quicker it went up. The stats on my card had risen a bit, but I didn’t feel like I’d gotten especially stronger.
I found myself muttering, “So you really do get better just by defeating a few monsters…”
Back when she’d first introduced us to adventuring, the girl at the counter had told us that everything in this world had a soul. That whenever you eat something or kill something—whenever you put an end to the life of another living thing—you absorb some of that thing’s memories.
I guess that really is a lot like a video game.
When I looked more closely at my card, I found the words SKILL POINTS, along with the number 3. I could use those points to gain some abilities.
“Now, then. We’re buying two Giant Toads from you; along with the quest completion award, that comes to 110,000 eris.”
110,000.
Minus the cost of transport, each of those frogs was worth five thousand yen. The reward for actually completing the quest was another hundred thousand.
According to Aqua, most parties had four to six people when they attempted a quest. So think of an average party of adventurers risking their lives in pitched battle for a day or two and coming home with five frog carcasses. Along with the completion award, they would make 125,000 yen. In a five-person party, each party member would come away with 25,000 yen.
…That was so not worth it.
You’d be talking about a rate of 25,000 yen a day, if the quest took only one day. That might sound like a pretty good deal to the average person, but remember we were putting our lives on the line here. If even one more toad had popped up today, for example, I might’ve been eaten, too, and there would’ve been no one to help us. Party wipe. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up just thinking about it.
I took a look at the other quests on the board:
Cut down Egil Trees causing trouble in the woods. Reward by volume.
Please help me find my lost pet, White Wolf!
Seeking swordsmanship tutor for my son. Note: only Rune Knights or Sword Masters need apply.
Do YOU want to be part of my magical experiments? Note: must have exceptional HP or strong Magic Defense.
Phew.
This world sure didn’t make it easy for you.
I’d been an adventurer for only two days, and I already wanted to return to Japan.
“Pardon me, may I have a moment…?”
I was sitting in a chair nearby, nursing a bout of homesickness, when a soft voice came from behind me. I looked up with eyes deadened by the realities of this fantasy world.
“Sure… How can I help…y…?”
And then I saw the owner of the voice and was at a loss for words.
A female Knight.
And a drop-dead gorgeous one, at that.
She was looking at me expressionlessly; she gave off an almost palpable cool.
She was just a little bit taller than I am. (I’m five foot four, so she was maybe, say, five six?) She wore sturdy-looking metal armor, and golden hair framed her blue eyes. I guessed she was a year or two older than me.
Her armor hid just what type of body she had, but something about her was incredibly sexy. Despite her cool look, she gave off the impression of…suffering, somehow.
Whoa, hang on! I can’t go falling in love at first sight!
“Uh, yes, um…what can I do for you?” I could deal with someone younger than me, like Megumin, or someone who was (or at least looked) my age, like Aqua, but my voice cracked a little with nervousness as I talked to this obviously older woman.
That’s what I get for being a lifelong hikikomori.
“Tell me, was it your party that posted this for recruitment? Are you by any chance still recruiting?”
The female Knight held out a piece of paper. I’d forgotten we hadn’t taken down the recruitment notice since adding Megumin.
“Oh, that. Yes, we’re still looking for more members, but to be perfectly honest, I can’t recommend it—”
“Please! Oh, please let me be in your party!”
I’d been trying to put her off gently, but the Knight suddenly grabbed my hand.
…Huh?
“Wh-wh-wh-whoa, hold on. I should warn you—we have a lot of problems. Neither of the other members is even slightly capable, and I’m in the lowest class! In fact, just a little while ago, both my friends wound up covered in slime—Ow ow ow ow!”
She’d squeezed my hand extra hard the moment I said “covered in slime.”
“I knew those were your companions I saw earlier with all that goop on them! How did they end up like that? Please let me get…get covered in…”
“What?!”
What did she just say?
“W-wait, let me try again! What I mean is, how could I, a Knight, overlook two tender young women in such a state? How about it? I’m a Crusader, an advanced class of Knight. I believe that fits your requirements.”
What was with this girl? She was giving me the crazy eye. She’d seemed so calm just a moment ago!
A red flag went up in my mind. This girl had something in common with Aqua and Megumin.
I hated to turn down a looker, but I had no choice.
“Wellll, I’m sorry, but as I said a moment ago, I really can’t recommend this party. One of our members has yet to be of any use to anybody, and the other can cast only a single spell per day. And, again, I’m the lowest possible class. We’re one dysfunctional group, so I really recommend you look elsewh—!”
Her grip on my hand tightened further.
“That’s even better! The truth is… It’s hard to say out loud, but I’m really… I’m confident in my defensive abilities—I am! But I’m a bit of a klutz, and my…my attacks never hit, so…”
Good old reliable intuition.
“So I’m an advanced class, but it’s not a big deal! I want you to send me right out front—use me as a shield!”
The female Knight brought her face, with its graceful features, close to mine as I sat in my chair.
Very…very…close…
Because I was seated, she stood above me, but she’d gotten so near that her long golden hair brushed my cheeks and set my heart pounding.
Now I was really paying for that hikikomori life…!
No! No, I wasn’t. This was just too much stimulation for an adolescent virgin, and it was throwing me off. Stay calm! Don’t get taken in by her wiles!
“Now, now, how could we use a woman as a shield? We really are an extremely weak party, ma’am, so I think you’d wind up as a monster’s punching bag on every single quest.”
“Yes! That’s perfect!”
“N-no, it’s not! Just today, my two companions were eaten by Giant Toads and ended up all slimy! Seriously, that’s likely to happen every single day…!”
…Now I get it.
The female Knight gripping my hand and blushing? As I looked at her, it finally dawned on me. It wasn’t just her abilities that wouldn’t help us. Like the rest of my party, she was useless to the core.
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