Epilogue
It was a rare sight: the door of Wiz’s Magical Item Shoppe had a sign on it saying CLOSED.
“Waaaaahhh! It’s awful; it’s just too muuuuch!” Inside, Wiz was bawling her eyes out, while beside her, Vanir was still trying desperately not to laugh. Come to think of it, I’d never seen Vanir as happy as he had been lately. I guess he was really enjoying the daily influx of bad vibes.
“Hey, Wiz, c’mon. Here, I brought you some vegetables from our garden, so chin up, okay? Don’t worry—you’re a good person deep down. I’m sure you’ll find the one for you someday.”
That got Wiz to look up from where she was splayed out across the counter, at least for a moment. “Sniff…sniff… Lady Aqua… You mean it? Right now I feel like I’m just…walking in place…”
“Well, that’s fine. I mean, you’re immortal. So you don’t have to settle because you’re afraid of growing old. That’s terrific for you, isn’t it?”
I thought that sounded like pretty cold comfort, but Wiz’s face brightened. “Y-yes, you’re right; I don’t age! I don’t have to worry, and I don’t have to compromise!”
“You do not grow old physically, true enough, but for bureaucratic purposes, your age does continue to increase.”
“Listen, you weirdo demon, you didn’t have to say that!” I yelled. “You’ll make Wiz cry again!”
I felt bad for Wiz and all, but I had to admit that, there in the noisy shop, I heaved a sigh of relief. Things were finally back to normal.
Duke had claimed that the Demon King’s army was going to storm this town, but at the moment, our peaceful town of novice adventurers seemed like it couldn’t be quieter. No sign of an impending attack anywhere. I was really hoping I could just keep on living my life…
But right then:
“Argh, that’s enough pitiful whining out of you, you lovelorn shopkeeper! Dry your tears and get back to work minding the store! Are you going to fulfill your promise to me or not? Do you realize how many centuries it will take to build my dungeon if we don’t sort out this store? I may be immortal myself, but my dungeon will be pointless if humanity goes extinct before I can build it!”
“I know, I know; you don’t have to tell me… The fate of a Lich is such that even if she was to be joined to another in matrimony, that person would inevitably pass away, leaving her alone… After humanity goes extinct, I’ll be here, all by myself…”
Wiz was still sniffling, obviously overwhelmed by everything that had happened. “Gods.” Vanir sighed. “You are not the only immortal around. Us demons, for example, do not age or die. Until that day when my dungeon is complete and some adventurers strike me down, I at least shall be around, so compose yourself, O friend of mine.”
Wiz looked up at that. “…So you’re saying that if your dungeon never gets built, you’ll be here for me forever, Vanir?”
“Okay, I see that I’m going to have to usurp your ownership of this shop if I’m ever going to realize my goal. Very well, I suppose I haven’t been taking this as seriously as I might. It’s been a while since I had to apply myself to something!” Vanir grabbed Wiz by the collar and dragged her out of the store.
“Wait, Vanir, forget what I said! I’m sorry! I apologize! I’ll try my hardest! I’ll do my very best, so please forgive me!” Winter was on its way, and the air was crisp and clear. Wiz’s tearful shout could probably be heard all over Axel…
“That’s terrific! All’s well that ends well.”
“What part of that was ‘terrific’?”
We were on our way home from the magic-item shop. We weren’t in a hurry to get back, making little detours to do some shopping and eat.
“Marriage… Darkness, as the only daughter of a noble household, you feel this is a subject that concerns you, do you not?” Megumin said.
Darkness’s eyes began to brim (most suspicious). “M-my father is wonderful and understanding, so I guess I have a little more freedom than a lot of nobles in that respect… But maybe I am getting to an age where I have to start thinking about it. Of course, if we’re going by age, maybe we should start with Aqua…”
“Hey, Kazuma, let me tell you something interesting that I learned lately. Listen to this: So in Darkness’s room is this hilarious diary of her time with us. But that’s not what I want to tell you about; I want to tell you about the weird little device she keeps hidden under the diary. It’s this thing she dreamed up that—”
“Aqua, uh, come here for a second! I always keep my room locked, so how’d you get in?! And how much do you know?” Darkness dragged off Aqua, never to finish her interesting story.
Just as the mansion was coming into view, Megumin said, “Kazuma, how many children do you hope to have?”
“Hrk!” I just about choked. That had come out of left field.
Truth be told, I don’t have anything against kids. In fact, I kind of like them. But just the other day, I’d bought a few protective items from Vanir, and I’m not talking about armor. Just in case.
While I was still trying to decide what the right answer to Megumin’s question was, we discovered there was someone standing at our front door. A Crimson Magic Clan member, holding a generous souvenir.
Of course, there was only one person who was conscientious enough to bring us a gift like that every time we helped her.
“Well, if it isn’t Yunyun. Let me guess: You came for a visit, but when you found we were not here, you waited for us? What shall we do to amuse ourselves today? I am all fired up after seeing someone else’s Explosion Magic for the first time in a very long while. Perhaps we should go to the lake and see which of us can catch the most fish…”
Yunyun, though, appeared troubled. I knew that look. This was the part where I got dragged into something dangerous. That’s right—I could learn, too.
“Um, ahem… Kazuma, sir, well, I’d like to ask you—”
Yep, there it was.
But Megumin stepped forward as if to shield me. Her eyes glowed crimson, and she stood practically nose to nose with Yunyun, staring her down. “What exactly do you want with Kazuma? Out of all the people in the world, you are forever relying on this man and this man only—you ought to be ashamed of yourself!”
“But I’ve failed the trials twice and it’s all because of you and I have no one left to turn tooooo!”
Yunyun’s shout seemed to carry all the way up to the big blue sky…
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