Chapter 4
May There Be Bad Influences for This Sheltered Princess!
1
“Demon King army attack warning! Demon King army attack warning! A group presumed to be from the Demon King’s army has been sighted in the field near the capital! Knights, prepare to sortie. The enemy group appears to be quite large this time, so we ask that all adventurers in the capital participate in the battle! All high-level adventurers, please assemble in front of the castle immediately!”
The announcement rang through the streets of the capital as dawn broke. At the same moment, our once-quiet inn was filled with a ruckus.
Darkness pounded on my door in a panic. “Kazuma, are you awake?! Did you hear that?! Get your stuff ready!”
“I’m asleep.”
“Moron, this is no time to joke around! The Demon King’s army is here—we have to get out there and help!”
I let only my head emerge from my blankets as the pounding continued. “You’re the one who’s joking! Did you hear that announcement? They want ‘high-level’ adventurers. I’m only Level 17—barely mid-level! They’ve got Mitsurugi and lots of other perfectly good adventurers, I’m sure. They’ll be fine without us.”
“Y-you impossible man! Fine! Aqua and Megumin and I are going! Low-level adventurers can just stay in bed and hide!” The knocking on my door turned to footsteps retreating quickly down the hall.
Finally, some peace and quiet…
“Noooo! Why do I have to go to something that dangerous?! I came to the capital to have fun! And now you want me to fight the Demon King’s army? No thank you!”
“Aqua, now is no time to be thinking of yourself! You can never have too many healers in a battle with the Demon King! And look at Megumin! Look how excited she is to get out there…”
“Darkness, I will not go to the castle but shall go directly to where the Demon King’s army awaits! For once the battle starts and our forces get close to those of the Demon King, I can’t use my magic! I was made for the vanguard! In fact, my powered-up magic might just finish them all in one fell swoop!”
“Wait, Megumin, don’t do anything reckless! And Aqua, will you let go of your bed already?! Arrrgh! Kazuma, I’m begging you, do something!”
Aren’t they ever going to shut up?!
Anyway, when I got back to Axel, my money worries would be over. Why should I stick my neck out and take part in a battle where I have nothing to—?
“?!”
I kicked off my covers and jumped up.
The reward I might get for participating in this battle held no attraction for me. But if I could look good, make people see that I’d accomplished something… Yes! It would cancel out my failure to catch the “righteous thief”!
Not to mention, it seemed like there were plenty of “cheaters” here in the capital, not the least Mitsurugi. It didn’t seem possible for us to lose, and meanwhile, I would have an opportunity to strut my stuff, protect the castle, and then maybe get my chance to hang out there again.
I didn’t have to personally defeat the whole army or anything. I just had to get noticed.
“Stop it, Darkness—I’ve got a bad feeling about this! Goddess’s intuition! Just like that time I dropped my ice cream right after I bought it or when I checked all those lottery tickets outside that store and they were all losers! Something’s going to happen—I just know it! So please, let’s not do this today! I’ll even give you one of my sausage links at breakfast!”
“Darkness, let go of me! I am carving my legend! ‘When the king’s forces arrived at the battlefield, all they saw were the smoldering remains of the Demon King’s army and a single wizard calmly leaving the scene of the carnage…’ This is my chance! You have to let me go!”
“Kazuma! I can’t do it alone—help me out with these two!”
I opened the door, completely dressed for battle, to find the three of them fighting.
“What are you doing? The kingdom is in crisis. Now come on, let’s go! They need us!”
“““……”””
When we showed up in front of the castle, we found the place crowded with knights clad in full sets of pristine armor, as well as tons of adventurers.
Someone I assumed was an employee of the local guild was speaking through a megaphone-like magical item. “All adventurers, gather over here, please! We have no special instructions for you. You haven’t been trained to work as a group, so we won’t try to have you coordinate with the knight units. Please fight on your own initiative! We’ll check your Adventurer’s Cards before the battle. Afterward, based on the number of monsters you defeat, you will receive a reward—so give it your all!”
We assembled where she had indicated, and another employee asked us to give her our Adventurer’s Cards. When she saw my card, her brow furrowed, and she said apologetically, “Mr. Kazuma Satou, is that right? I’m sorry, but anyone below Level 30 who isn’t an advanced class is going to be in danger, and we cannot allow them to participate in the battle. If I could ask you to stay here and help fortify the town…”
“It’s all right. That man is a very capable adventurer with quite a history.”
It was Claire. When had she gotten there? In fact, quite a few nobles had shown up in front of the castle, maybe to help encourage us adventurers or the knights.
As the nobles looked at me, I couldn’t help feeling they all had great expectations. I may have failed at catching the thief, but they knew I had defeated several generals of the Demon King and wanted to see me in action.
Then a figure appeared on the castle balcony, watching us from above. When I looked closely, I realized she was focused on me, her eyes shining with hope. It was Iris.
Well, now the tension was ratcheting up.
Leave it to me! Just watch your big bro work!
At that moment, I felt a tugging on my sleeve.
“Kazuma, Kazuma! I’m smart! I can learn! And I definitely think I’m going to get in trouble if we participate in this battle. Like, some crazy kid will blow me up in her explosion or some muscle-headed noblewoman is going to bring a bunch of monsters my way. It’s not too late—we can still go home to Axel. Let’s go home, okay?”
“Aqua is not the only one who is capable of learning from the past. I will not make the same mistake twice—no one is getting caught up in any of my explosions!”
“H-hey, Aqua, you think you could stop calling me muscle-headed? People are going to start thinking I’m the least intelligent of the four of us…”
I met Aqua’s anxiety with an uncharacteristic smile. “Aw, what? We’re just facing a bunch of small fry who have nothing but their numbers to rely on. Just wait—you’re finally gonna see me get really serious!”
““““Ooooh!””””
My declaration made the nobles even more excited.
Then Claire shouted an order to the assembled knights and adventurers:
“All forces gathered to repel the Demon King’s army—move out!”
2
“…Oh, hi. I haven’t seen you in a while, Lady Eris.”
“……………………………”
Quicker than you could blink, I was standing in that familiar sanctuary.
How many times had I died now? There was the time General Winter offed me and that time I fell out of a tree. And now…
“I’m sorry. At my level, I didn’t think there was any way some kobolds could do me in…”
A pack of kobolds had made me their punching bag.
Kobolds! Yes, those kobolds. Nice, easy prey—practically shrimps even in this world. And they’d killed me.
I turned to Eris, who still hadn’t said a word.
“It’s not what you think, milady! It was going great at first. I had Aqua’s buffs, and I was sticking close to Darkness. Since the other adventurers had already dealt with the really nasty monsters, I thought I could at least beat them on numbers.”
“……………………………”
Yeah… It had all been going great for a while.
I kept practically in Darkness’s shadow, firing arrows from relative safety, racking up one victory after another. The battle got to where the two armies were really clashing. A kobold had bitten Aqua, and she was crying up a storm, so I went and saved her…
“That kobold was no match for me. I started thinking, Hey, even I’ve improved a little, so I started chasing him…”
He’d looked really weak. So I was hot on his heels, but then all of a sudden, I realized I was surrounded by kobolds, and they promptly took their revenge.
Now what was I going to do? It would be really embarrassing to be brought back to life at that moment. Before the battle, I had made such a big deal of what a great job I was going to do—and then I’d been clobbered by Baby’s First Monster. It was so pathetic, it wasn’t even funny.
It was also starting to bother me that Eris hadn’t said a word since I’d gotten there.
“Uh…um, Lady Eris? I know I died a really stupid death because I got a little full of myself, and I’m very sorry about it. Do you think you could…spare me a smile about now?” I asked hesitantly.
Eris began to blush as she said, “…Sexual harassment is wrong.” She fixed me with a glare.
I felt sweat dribble down my back. Come to think of it, Eris could see what was happening on the mortal plane, couldn’t she? She had to be angry that I had turned one of her precious followers into my plaything.
“No, milady, hear me out! I didn’t have any choice! When I first grabbed her, her chest was so flat, I thought she was a man, and… No! I’m sorry; forgive me! I won’t make any more excuses!”
I threw myself at her feet in complete submission. I could sense her mood worsening by the moment.
“…Gracious. You really do resort to sexual harassment way too much. I’ll forgive you, but just this once.” She sighed and scratched her cheek as if she was embarrassed.
“Thank you, Lady Eris! Ah, I don’t know what I’d do if a righteous heroine–type like you started to hate me!”
“I think you might be getting carried away again… Aren’t you satisfied with the little sister you’ve gained recently?”
Just how much have you seen from up here, Lady Eris?
I didn’t quite know what to say, but Eris giggled.
“I guess that’s enough teasing you for today. Anyway, there’s something I’d like to ask you to do.”
“…Something you want me to do?”
She nodded. “I think my follower whom you were groping last night gave you most of the details. Some of the Sacred Treasures my senior, Aqua, handed out are no longer with their original owners.”
“Oh yeah, I guess she did mention something like that. But I thought Sacred Treasures chose their owners. I got an enchanted sword as a ‘cheat item’ once, but it turned out that if anyone but its owner used it, it was just a normal sword.”
That’s right: When I’d taken Mitsurugi’s magical sword from him, I had thought about using it myself, but I had quickly been informed that it didn’t work that way.
“That’s true to an extent, but… Well, it’s accurate to say that the full powers of most magical items only activate for those to whom they were originally given. An enchanted sword that can cut through anything becomes a regular sword. A special staff that allows unlimited MP turns into a normal staff. In those cases, even if someone tried to use the item for evil, it wouldn’t be that big a deal.”
Eris went on to explain, however, that the two Sacred Treasures that had gone missing were capable of causing an awful lot of trouble even without their full powers.
First there was the Treasure that allowed the user to summon a monster and control it with no price or penalty. In someone else’s hands, it could still summon a random monster; it was just that a price would be required.
As for the Treasure that let the user change bodies with someone else, it too could still be used, but the switch would be for only a limited time; it couldn’t be maintained forever.
Apparently, both these items required you to say a special phrase to activate them, so even if someone else got hold of them, it wouldn’t necessarily be easy to use them.
But there was such a thing as sheer dumb chance. If someone just happened to say the correct phrase, a whole town might suddenly be full of monsters, and then there’d be trouble. Or say someone was out walking their dog and got body-switched by bad luck; we could be dealing with a whole new type of kobold.
“If we can get the items back and give them to Aqua, she’ll seal them up,” Eris said. “There’s no reward for doing this job, and you won’t gain honor or glory. Nor can you tell anyone except those you trust most about the Sacred Treasures. Even if their power is greatly reduced outside their owners’ hands, someone besides one of our transplants might think of something nasty to do with them.”
She took my hands, a serious expression on her face.
“Please, will you get the Sacred Treasures back?”
3
When I opened my eyes, I saw Aqua giving me a wide smile.
“Welcome back, Kazuma! Those kobolds sure did a number on you!”
I really wanna smack her!
“Is that the first thing you think to say to someone who just came back to life?! You could learn a thing or two about proper goddess etiquette from Lady Eris!”
I looked around and realized that the battle was already over. “…Hey, I’m glad you brought me back and all, but couldn’t you have done it a little sooner? Like, soon enough for me to get in on the glory?”
“You were killed by kobolds. Why would I bring you back in the middle of a battle? You’d just die again, and it’d be a big pain.”
Having just been killed, I couldn’t find a response.
“…Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask. Don’t you kind of smell like alcohol? You didn’t skip out on the battle so you could go drink, did you?”
“No way! It’s because people bought me all kinds of drinks as offerings for being so much help in our victory. Everyone did an amazing job while you were lying there dead. My Turn Undead and healing magic were crucial—I wish you could have seen it!”
…That made sense. It explained why the looks Aqua was getting seemed unusually full of respect and reverence.
“Okay, one last thing… Why is there some kind of weight tied to me?”
“Oh, that. See, Darkness didn’t want your body to accidentally get damaged during the battle, so she said to put it in a corner where it would be safe. And I did put you in a corner, but monsters kept trying to drag you away…”
“Stop right there! I don’t want to hear any more! I get it; you stuck this weight to me so they wouldn’t carry me off! Thank you very much! But I can’t help thinking—maybe you guys could take a little more care when you handle the dead!”
Now that I had a sense of what had happened, I took another look around. This time, the Demon King’s attack had been on a pretty major scale. I was too inexperienced to guess the number at a glance, but I estimated there were well over a thousand monster corpses there. And yet, on our side, I didn’t see anyone who even looked wounded, let alone dead.
That was when several knights came up to us, full of thanks.
“Miss Aqua, you’ve done an amazing job reviving the dead! Now, please, this way!”
“Whoo! That’s some Arch-priest! What talent! To think she can even use Resurrection!”
“It’s all thanks to her that there are no wounded left around here! Thank you so much, Miss Aqua!”
Ah, so she had healed everyone who was injured. I never would have expected it—she was usually such a ditz.
“Kazuma, you’re alive! Are you all right? Everything feeling okay?”
Darkness, her face and armor covered in soot, came up with several knights in tow. To judge by all the gouges in her armor, she had worked hard.
The knights looked at her with admiring gazes, and they had nothing but good things to say.
“Lady Dustiness, your performance today was exemplary!”
“Yes, indeed! The sight of you diving into the enemy ranks, completely calm despite the magic that was being unleashed upon you—my heart trembled to see it!”
“Did you notice the look on the Demon King’s commander’s face when he saw her? I shan’t soon forget that!”
“Lady Dustiness, your willingness to take the enemy’s attacks upon yourself helped prevent many casualties. You’ve saved us all!”
I see. In a battle of this magnitude, Darkness’s Decoy skill probably would have been a lot of help. Even if she couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, Darkness was the best defender in Axel.
I was a little disappointed I had missed the relatively unusual sight of Darkness really strutting her stuff. And come to think of it, where was Megumin?
No sooner had I thought this than I spotted her on a stretcher, being carried along as carefully as if she were a broken doll. The knights around the stretcher shooed away any curious adventurers.
“MVP of the battle coming through! Make way!”
“Miss Megumin is tired—get out of the way! You want to be wiped off the face of the earth with an explosion?”
“Make way for Miss Megumin, first among the spell-casters of Axel and she who reduces all to ash!”
…What the hell?
When I really concentrated, I could see a huge crater in the distance.
“At first, everyone was really close, so Megumin couldn’t use her magic, right?” Aqua said. “But as things got worse and worse for them, the Demon King’s army started to fall back. Finally, the enemy commander goes: ‘This battle was just the start! One day we’ll be back with a much bigger army, and we’ll turn this place to ash!’ And then they tried to run away…”
“And then it was awesome! Miss Megumin planted an explosion right in the middle of the fleeing troops, all, ‘My name is Megumin! First among the spell-casters of Axel and master of Explosion! It shall be you who are reduced to ash…!’ Just awesome!”
“Yeah, have you ever seen anything cooler? It’s incredible how she used up her entire supply of MP just to cast that one spell for us!”
Megumin, who rode on that stretcher like she was on the shrine float at a festival, seemed more than pleased to be treated like this.
“Is that so? I see! Well, such insignificant opponents could hardly be expected to stand up to my most powerful technique! After all, my Explosion has buried more than one general of the Demon King, to say nothing of Destroyer, the legendary bounty head!”
It was incredible, all right. Incredible how much she let this go to her head while she lay on that litter.
“So it’s true that Destroyer is gone?!”
“What a great and powerful wizard! Miss Megumin, could you possibly show us some of your other, non-Explosion spells?”
“Oh yeah! I want to see just how much power there is in your advanced magic!”
“…Yes, and of course, I dearly want to show you, but sadly, I’ve used up my MP for now. So unfortunately…”
“Of course, of course! We can wait till tomorrow, Miss Megumin!”
“Ooh, I can’t wait till tomorrow morning!”
“I’m gonna tell everyone to come and see!”
“…Y-yes. But, ahem, I might be busy tomorrow… Oh, Kazuma! Thank goodness Aqua was able to bring you back to life! It must be hard for you, having just been resurrected. Why don’t you let me look after you tomorrow?”
Megumin had gotten so carried away with herself that things were threatening to get out of hand. Frankly, I thought I’d like to see where it went.
4
“The knights and the adventurers are back!”
Those words—I couldn’t tell who had shouted them—were the cue for the whole capital to erupt into a joyous welcome.
As we headed to the castle to debrief, the townspeople sang our praises. Some bowed deeply, while others pumped their fists in the air. It brought proud smiles to the faces of the returning heroes.
When we got to the castle, a crowd of jubilant nobles, headed up by Iris and Claire, greeted us.
Claire, in her white suit as always, stepped out in front. “Knights and adventurers! Excellent work today! Thanks to you, the capital is safe once again. Princess Iris offers you all her profound thanks on behalf of this nation. You may expect a healthy reward!”
That got a cheer from the adventurers.
“In addition! A feast is being prepared for tonight to help restore you. You must be very tired after that battle. Rest yourselves until this evening, and then come back to the castle. Those who distinguished themselves will be given special rewards! That will be all—and thank you again for your fine work!”
The cheer rose to a fever pitch, the adventurers almost wild with joy, and then they went their separate ways to decide how to pass the time until that evening.
“Lady Dustiness, please come to the castle; tell us all about what happened…!”
“Yes, I heard it was quite a frightful encounter…!”
“By all means, Lady Dustiness, regale us with your deeds!”
Darkness was immediately surrounded by nobles and shepherded off to the castle. She looked to us for help as they practically dragged her away, but as the guy who was killed by kobolds, I was feeling pretty embarrassed and didn’t want to garner any attention if I could help it.
“Hey, Kazuma. I’m gonna kill time until the party starts by asking the people I healed if they want to join the Axis Church. They owe me for fixing them up, so I’m gonna go cash in!”
“I’m sure they’re perfectly thankful even if you don’t ‘cash in.’ Stunts like this are why you never get new believers.”
Aqua completely ignored me, going up to the nearest knight. As I watched her, a voice came from behind me.
“Oh, you can let me down here. I’ll get a piggyback ride from my party member.”
It was Megumin, of course. The knights who had been ferrying her around gently set her on the ground. From there, she beckoned to me. Does she realize I exist for more than giving her piggyback rides?
“I just came back from the dead,” I said. “I thought you were going to take care of me?”
“And so I shall, starting tomorrow. But for today, please indulge me. Kazuma, let’s go back to Axel tomorrow. First thing in the morning, if possible.”
I bent down and hefted Megumin onto my back; she wrapped her arms around my neck in a familiar motion. That was when Iris came up to us wearing an innocent smile.
“I’m so glad you’re all right, Elder Brother! Welcome home!”
“Elder Brother?!” Megumin exclaimed.
“Oh, Iris! I wasn’t all right for a while there, though. I actually died—but I came back to life.”
That stopped her in her tracks, a look of amazement on her face.
“You died?! Elder Brother, are you okay?! Come into the castle and rest up until the feast—the room you were using is just the way you left it!”
“‘Elder Brother’ again?!”
“Thanks. But you don’t have to worry so much. I’m alive now, no problem.”
Megumin, meanwhile, had been making a racket right next to my ear. For some reason, the words Elder Brother seemed to bother her.
“That’s good… Then tell me, Elder Brother, were you able to distinguish yourself in battle enough that you’ll be able to stay at the castle again?” She looked bright and cheerful and full of hope once more.
“Er, well…I mean, even the best of us get caught by surprise sometimes, right? Things didn’t go so hot today…”
“Oh, I see… But I’m glad you at least came back safely! And even if you didn’t do a lot of valorous deeds, you did go out and fight to defend the capital. So I’ll ask Claire again if you can stay in the castle, Elder Brother!”
“…”
“Thanks, Iris. But the way I died this time was really pathetic, so I don’t have much hope… Anyway, catch you tonight.”
At that, Iris seemed incredibly sad.
“…It seems this Iris girl has become quite fond of you in the brief time you were away,” Megumin said from my back once Iris had followed Claire into the castle.
“I know, right? I got the little sister I’ve always wanted. Maybe I really do like ’em young.”
“…When we get back to town, should I start calling you Big Brother?”
“Nah, you’re my jailbait, remember? I don’t like mixing archetypes.”
“You know, you can stop treating me like a jailbait character anytime now!”
Perched on my back, Megumin was in the perfect position to try to strangle me as I headed for my room.
5
We came to the room in the castle where I had stayed, and I set Megumin down on the couch. She looked around in amazement.
“My! This is quite a nice room. And you just stayed here while maids and butlers took care of you? I think I can see now why you didn’t want to come home.”
“Right? There was great food, and everyone babied me. If you lived here, you wouldn’t want to come home, either. Ah, but I didn’t manage to do anything noteworthy in the battle. I guess we’ll have to go home tomorrow…”
I took off my equipment and sat on the bed, kicking my feet aimlessly.
Megumin, still tired from a lack of MP, said, “…But I think that may be for the best. As much as I’ve enjoyed our upscale life in the capital, I think I prefer our lives in Axel. Everyone going on quests together, our impassioned arguments… The four of us can all be together again, starting tomorrow.” And she gave her most genuine smile.
“Oh! Y-yeah, you’re right. I mean, I was never that serious about wanting to stay at the castle…!” I found myself strangely agitated by her reaction. I kicked my feet a little harder to cover for myself.
“Is that so? Are you not happy with that Iris girl?” Megumin said teasingly. She seemed to be enjoying this.
Excuse me? Iris was never anything more than a little sister to me.
But I’d admit, it was hard to just leave her there. She seemed so lonely—but not in quite the way that, say, Yunyun seemed lonely.
Just then…
“Elder Brother, could I have a moment…?”
…Iris’s voice came through the door.
“I’m so sorry, Elder Brother. I tried to talk to Claire, but she says you just can’t stay at the castle.”
Iris was sitting next to Megumin, sniffling.
“It is what it is. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to prove my worth.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Elder Brother. You risked your life on the battlefield—in fact, you gave your life…” As she spoke, Iris looked at me with eyes full of tears. She seemed so serious, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I’d been carried off by a bunch of kobolds and beaten to death. Instead, I just returned her gaze in silence.
The two of us sat there, looking at each other wordlessly.
“…Have you both forgotten that I’m here?”
“Huh?! N-no! We haven’t forgotten!”
“Iris is right—we didn’t forget about you, Megumin! No Lolita complexes here, so don’t look at me like that! Iris is just a little sister to me; there’s nothing weird between us! …W-wait, Iris, don’t look so sad. People will get the wrong idea—in fact, I might get the wrong idea!”
Megumin ignored my admittedly suspicious behavior, suddenly seeming to notice something.
“Hmm? Now, there’s a princess for you—that’s quite some magical item you have. I sense far more magical power from it than you might expect. That necklace of yours—is it possible it’s on the level of a Sacred Treasure? It doesn’t look like anything made by the Crimson Magic Village. Where in the world did you get it?”
I guess she was interested in the necklace Iris was wearing. It was of a simple design very different from those of her other accessories.
“Oh, this? This necklace was given to my real elder brother. But since he’s away on campaign, I have it right now, as the representative of the royal family.”
Megumin leaned in, her eyes shining. “Yes? And what power does that magical item have? It must be something impressive—that item is far more magical than average! It must be strong enough that it could potentially destroy the world!”
Look, not everyone shares your interests…
“No, I don’t think… Actually, we haven’t figured out exactly how to use this item yet. We believe perhaps you have to intone a specific word or phrase in order to activate it. It’s engraved with some characters that we think may represent that word, but all the king’s scholars couldn’t decode them…”
She turned the necklace so we could see the back. Some letters were indeed carved there…
“Huh? It’s just Japanese. ‘What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours. I become you!’ That’s really dumb. Who came up with this incantation?”
It was such a random phrase. I had serious doubts about the sanity of whoever had given this divine item to some Japanese person.
“Wha…? W-wait! Kazuma—the princess’s necklace is shining!”
“E-Elder Brother?! I think you may have activated it…!”
“Huh? Wh-whoa, get rid of it! Iris, take that thing off and throw it out the window!”
I tried to pull the necklace off her neck, but the shining gem in the middle of it shot out a beam of light—!
“Huh? Nothing happened…”
I realized I had squeezed my eyes shut. When I heard Megumin’s voice, I opened them again.
And I was standing in front of me.
I was reaching out toward me with shock written all over my face.
“How long do you two plan to stand there staring at each other? Please don’t forget I’m here again.” She sighed in exasperation, apparently ignoring the bizarre circumstances.
“Cram it, Megumin, something really weird is going on here!”
“My goodness, Your Highness, are we suddenly on a first-name basis? I’m older than you, so if you’re comfortable addressing Kazuma as Elder Brother, you can call me ‘Big Sis Megumin’ or ‘Elder Sister.’ For that matter, I really don’t think you should talk that way. Claire or whoever she is said she thought Kazuma was a bad influence on you, but it sounds like it’s too late now.”
For some reason, Megumin was eyeing me like I was a naughty child.
Then the me I was looking at waved my hands frantically. “Uh, um… Excuse me, but I’m Iris…”
Everyone in the room went dead silent.
“W-w-w-w-w-wait, I’m Iris now?! You mean this is—! Ahhhh! It’s really truuuuue! I’m in a dress! I’m in a frilly dress! What is this strange new feeling?! It’s like I’ve woken up to find out someone put women’s clothes on me!”
“Elder Brother?! You’re in my body?! Please don’t do that; it’s shameful!”
“Hang on, Iris; I see all sorts of problems here! This skirt is a disaster waiting to happen. I’ve got no confidence about my lower body! This is incredible—do women really walk around in public so defenseless?!”
I held up the hem of the dress, but I—or rather, Iris in my body—clung to me, nearly weeping.
“Elder Brother, no more! Please stop there!”
“Stop?! I think I know what’s happening here, but with my skirt up and me—I mean you—I mean Kazuma—grabbing me like that, what are people going to think?!”
At that moment, there was a knock on the door.
“Your Highness?! I hear screaming—is something wrong?!”
It was Claire. She must have been just outside as Iris’s bodyguard.
I plastered myself against the door so it wouldn’t open.
“C-Claire? It, um, it is nothing! Indeed, I was merely conversing with Elder Brother, and we became rather excited!”
“A-are you sure? That’s all right, then, but don’t spend too long talking with that man. He speaks nothing but rubbish.”
“I’m fine…! You may go back to…bodyguarding now!”
Wearing a dress and trying my best to talk like a princess, I was experiencing something entirely new. I leaned against the door and slid to the ground.
The three of us sat in a circle in the middle of the room, trying to decide what to do about these bodies.
“Now what do we do?” I said. “I’m not exactly averse to living the rest of my life as a beautiful, pampered girl, but I admit it’s hard to let go of the body I’ve spent my entire life in. How can we get back to normal?”
“I’m not sure, but I think you just nonchalantly said something incredible,” Megumin said. “Tell me, how are you two? No pain? Not feeling ill?”
“No, I seem to be fine. If anything… Well, I feel big and powerful in a man’s body. I’d sort of like to go on an adventure.”
“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but maybe you could speak just a little less politely with that mouth.” Megumin looked like she might cry.
“Well, this is trouble. We tried the activation phrase again, but the necklace just glowed. So we can’t swap right back, and that’s bad,” I said.
It was true; we had tried to use the necklace’s power again, but we hadn’t switched back.
“Perhaps there’s a different phrase that undoes the spell,” Megumin said. “This is some item, though. The power to switch bodies! I’ve never heard of such a potent artifact.”
Iris sniffed as she spoke. “What are we going to do? What if we can never go back to normal? I have to live out the rest of my life as an adventurer…? Forced out of the castle, living a wild and free life of adventure… Finding trustworthy companions, destroying one evil monster after another, traveling to places I’ve never seen…! Elder Brother, what am I going to do?! I’m not sure I would be completely unhappy if we can’t go back to normal!” She had gone from sniffling to somewhat pleased.
“Princess, please calm down! What you’re saying is foolishness!” Megumin cried.
True, we really couldn’t go on like this. If the magic item’s power was some form of curse, we might be able to ask Aqua to do something about it…
Thinking of Aqua reminded me: She was the one who had given this body-swap item to some Japanese person to begin with…!
“It’s okay! I know what this item is! It’s a particular Sacred Treasure. If anyone besides the original owner uses it, the switch only lasts for a limited time. I don’t know exactly how long, but it means we won’t be stuck like this forever.”
That brought a sigh of relief from Megumin. Iris, though, seemed strangely conflicted.
“So all we have to do is wait, and we’ll go back to normal. Sure hope it happens before the party tonight…” I tossed myself onto the bed, intending to sleep until then.
“E-Elder Brother! I want… I have a request!” Iris was seated formally on the floor, her legs folded neatly beneath her and her face serious. Seeing myself in that position, I couldn’t help thinking I was being bullied. I wished she would sit less formally.
“You have a— Ahaaa, I get it. You’re getting to be that age, aren’t you? Wondering about a guy’s body? Sorry, but keep your hands off!”
“I—I was thinking no such thing! What about you, Elder Brother? Can I trust you to leave my body alone?! What I want is… Just once, I’d like to try leaving the castle without any guards or servants.”
She looked at me doubtfully, almost fearfully, like a child afraid of being scolded. Retainers had surrounded her from the moment she was born. She’d grown up in the capital, but I’d be willing to bet she’d never really seen the place. Even when she did get to go out, it was probably tough to enjoy looking around stores and such when you were trailed by a bunch of bodyguards.
Now, with my body, she could easily leave. But Iris totally lacked anything in the way of street smarts. Could I really let her go out alone?
As I tried to come up with an answer, Megumin, who at that point hadn’t said anything, let out a sigh. “Very well. I can see there’s no choice. You can’t go with her, Kazuma, in that body. I will accompany her. Don’t worry, I won’t harangue you like your retainers. I will just watch out for you in case you get into any fights.”
“Cut it out! What the hell good are you gonna do?!”
But Iris, smiling broadly, stood up. “Okay then, let’s go, Elder Sister!”
“…Erm, I know I told you to call me that earlier, but I think you’d better stick to ‘Megumin’…”
Are these two really going to be okay?
“A pleasure, Miss Megumin!”
“You can count on me. I shall teach you many things, from how to haggle when shopping to how to accept a fight when someone throws down the gauntlet.”
Argh, they’ll be fine, won’t they?!
6
Once Iris and Megumin were on their way, I wandered around the castle with Claire in tow. Since “I” had left, it would be strange for the princess to remain in my room. I just figured I would kill time until Iris had had her fill of the outside world and came back.
But as I walked around with my head held high, I noticed that everyone was bowing to me. I nodded magnanimously at each of them.
Uh-oh. This is kind of nice. I could get used to this.
“Your Highness, did anything happen in that man’s room? Ever since you came out of there, you’ve seemed… Well, let’s just say I’m starting to wonder if he was telling you inappropriate stories again.” Claire piped up from behind me with insults at the ready.
“Claire, you mustn’t say such things about Master Kazuma. He is a most wonderful person. I don’t think it would be wrong for his name to go down in our nation’s history textbooks.”
“Now I really do wonder what he said to you, Your Highness! I think it’s about time we got rid of him…”
I wish she wouldn’t say things like that when she’s right behind me.
As we wandered the castle, we saw adventurers here and there. They must have been passing the time until the victory party that night. A careful look revealed a group who had done an especially good job during the battle. Judging by how many of them had black hair and black eyes, they were probably Japanese like me. It was definitely tempting to talk to them—they were from my own country—but it wouldn’t have been very easy to do in this body.
“Well, if it isn’t Princess Iris and Miss Claire.”
I recognized that voice. Claire smiled when she saw its owner.
“Ah, Master Mitsurugi. I hear you acquitted yourself brilliantly, as usual! I must apologize that you always seem to end up right in the heart of danger.”
The adventurer who had called out to us was none other than Mitsurugi. He was giving us his most handsome smile.
“Not at all. I would hardly even call that danger. And anyway, it’s my duty to protect the princess and the people of this country.” Then he gave me a friendly pat on the head.
“Claire, this man is touching my head far too casually. Execute him immediately.”
“What?!”
“Your Highness, you truly have been acting strange. What in the world is going on?!”
I guess Mitsurugi must have been so used to patting girls’ heads and smiling at them that he just did it unconsciously now. I shooed him away and resumed my exploration of the castle.
There was a reason for all my snooping around.
“Say, Claire, where’s Lalatina? I want to tease—I mean, I want to congratulate her on her fine work in today’s battle.”
“Lady Dustiness was hit by some fire magic during the battle and covered in ashes, so right now she’s in the bath.”
“Claire! Take me to her immediately! I shall join her and wash her back!”
“Your Highness?! What in the world has happened to you? Even with Lady Dustiness’s station, for a royal to wash a retainer’s back…”
“Perhaps I shall wash yours, too, Claire, to thank you for your tireless service. Are you opposed?”
“No objections from me, Your Highness! Let’s go—let’s go right now!”
Claire, who had always shown a slightly strange level of loyalty toward Iris, went off in excitement, the expression on her face a bit dangerous.
When we got to the changing room of the castle baths, we ran into Darkness, apparently just out of the tub. Sadly, she was already done changing.
“Oh, Your Highness,” she said. “Planning to wash up before the party?” She smiled at me, drying her hair with a towel.
“No, Lalatina—I wanted to wash your back, since you did such a great job in the battle today… But it looks like I’m too late. What a shame…”
I looked disappointedly at the ground as I spoke. That sent Darkness into a bit of a panic. “N-not at all! Far be it from me to let your kind offer be in vain! We still have time—I can take another bath!” Then she hurriedly began stripping off her clothes.
“Dark—! I mean, L-Lalatina! Slow down—don’t just rip off your clothes like that without any hint of embarrassment! I wasn’t ready!”
“Y-Your Highness, what’s going on? Your face is awfully red…” Darkness, half-undressed, was looking at me with concern.
She was right next to me, and I could see her underwear… Hang on—I don’t think she’s wearing a bra!
Oh, she’d be wearing a dress for the party, and her bra line would show!
As I stood there staring dumbly at Darkness, Claire came up wearing nothing but a towel and a worried expression. “Your Highness, do you have a fever? Come to think of it, you haven’t been looking yourself…”
Then she put her long, delicate hands on my cheeks…!
Now, at last, I understood.
I got why the Japanese guy who had come here before me had asked for this Sacred Treasure.
True, when we went back to normal, Iris might figure out by the scent of soap that I had been in the bath. But at this point, I was definitely not thinking that far ahead. One of my illustrious Japanese forebears had left us these words: Worry about tomorrow…tomorrow.
O Eris, goddess of good fortune. I have never been so thankful for my amazing Luck.
I offered up this prayer as I stood with a gorgeous, half-naked woman on either side of me. Then I reached to start taking off my own clothes…
…and felt my consciousness growing dim.
“—’s just perfect! If you think you can say stuff like that to my older brother, I guess you know what you’re getting yourself into!”
“Th-this bastard! Did you hear what he said about our brother?! Look! You made him cry!”
“H-hey, shut up, idiot, I ain’t cryin’! I just got a little surprised ’cause no one’s ever talked to me like that before!”
I was staring down three very angry-looking men.
…Lady Eris, this kind of bait and switch is really too much.
7
“Well said, that’s the way! Now put the final nail in the coffin! Say, I’m done talking. And I don’t have time to waste—I’m gonna turn you guys into experience points! If you can say that, you pass! Then all that’s left is to reduce these guys to quivering heaps!”
Megumin was shouting enthusiastically from my back.
Hang on a second. What’s going on here?
I mean, I’d obviously gone back to normal, but I was also about to get in a fight—what were Megumin and Iris up to?!
“Make fun’a me, will you? I’ll show you!”
The guy right in front of me—the one the others had called their older brother—launched himself at me with a flying punch and tears in his eyes, even though I had no idea what I’d said to him.
“Gah! H-hey, jerk! No fair! Can’t you see I’m carrying someone right now?! If we’re gonna go at it, at least let me set her down first!”
“No fair?! You were the one who said, ‘I don’t even need to get serious against wimps like you. I’ll take on all three of you at once, and I’ll leave this girl here as a handicap’!”
“When are you gonna get tired of being mean to our bro?! What’d he ever do to you?!”
“I don’t even care anymore; let’s get this guy! Treat us like common street thugs, will he? We’ll show him!”
Apparently, I’d managed to only tick them off even more.
“Kazuma, I see you’re back to normal! Give me some MP with Drain Touch so I can take part in this battle, too!”
“You deliberately got us into this, didn’t you?! You do something about it!”
Teary-eyed and rubbing the cheek where the guy’s punch had landed, I poured my MP into Megumin…
“…They really were just small fry. I can’t blame them, in the face of my overwhelming power.”
“You might be a wizard, but you’re also a high-level adventurer. You shouldn’t go after ordinary people like that!”
We had triumphed in the one-on-three battle, but we had also attracted a lot of unwanted attention, so we hurried back to the castle.
“I really wanted to give the princess a chance to shine, but you came back at just the right moment. I’m a little sorry she couldn’t be here.”
“Look, what did you plan to do if anything had happened to Iris? Getting that delicate princess in a fight? What were you thinking?”
Megumin looked puzzled. “I think the question, Kazuma, is what are you thinking? Members of the royal family are quite powerful. In addition to their natural talents, they learn how to fight from a young age in order to protect themselves. To be blunt, that princess is stronger than you. Even in your body, she likely wouldn’t have had any trouble winning.”
What, seriously?
“Okay, but how did you even get into that fight? Those guys looked like bad news; what did you do to them?”
“The princess and I went to a number of different shops before we ran into that lot on a deserted street.”
I see. And it went from there…
“Normally, when such men see a girl like me, they call out something like, Nice friend you got there. Just leave her with us—we’ll take good care of her! Right? But these guys glanced at me once, and that was it. They didn’t even catcall me! So I accused them of being spineless wusses.”
“You sound like some petty gangster picking a fight with innocent bystanders!”
N-now what? Maybe I should go back and apologize…
“I admit I taunted them, but they were the ones who made the first move. It’s all right; if it comes to a trial, we can win. It’s their fault for getting physical just because I mocked them a little.”
“This from the girl who can’t hold her temper over so much as a lame joke! Ugh, if we see them again, I’ll have to apologize…”
As I fretted, we arrived back at the castle.
“Well, we may have gotten ourselves into some trouble, but the princess enjoyed herself very much. She got to try street food for the first time, and that made her quite happy.”
“Hrm… Well, that’s good, at least. Or is it? I’ll bet everyone will think I’m being a bad influence on her again…”
“You have such a soft spot for that girl, Kazuma. Although I’m a little anxious when I notice how close her characteristics are to mine—for example, the fact that we are both younger than you.”
“Y-you think you have anything in common with that demure, refined beauty?”
As we argued, we passed through the castle gate.
And found Darkness and Claire with their arms crossed, standing in our path.
8
I was huddled in an out-of-the-way corner of the party hall. Aqua came up to me, clutching an expensive-looking bottle of wine.
“Oh, Kazuma. How could you be so stupid? I know you usually treat me like the idiot, but today it’s my turn. You’re the biggest idiot in the history of idiocy!”
There was nothing I could say to the moron with the wine bottle.
Except: “It’s not what you think. It’s not like I meant for any of that to happen. It’s just… Walking around the castle with everyone bowing to me—I started to feel like people would forgive and forget no matter what I did!”
“Once again: idiot. If you did an Internet search for the word idiot, your name would be the first hit!”
I wanted to grab the wine bottle she was holding and send her into a crying fit, but I could hardly speak.
The moment I had gone back to my real body, Iris, of course, had found herself in the changing room. Darkness and Claire noticed the shift in Iris’s personality immediately, and when they asked her what was going on…
“I can’t believe they got so mad at Iris, even. Gaaah! I’m supposed to be her big brother! I don’t deserve to live…”
“…Sigh. Just lie low here. I’ll bring you something tasty.” Aqua’s sudden display of kindness helped heal my delicate heart. When push came to shove, I guess she was a goddess. You could count on her when you were really feeling down…
When Megumin found out what I had been up to just before returning to my real body, she joined Darkness in ignoring my excuses.
“There’s something to be said for the person who’s known you the longest. I wish the others would learn from your generosity. Hey, I’ve been wondering, what’s that wine you’re holding? Come to think of it, when we went out yesterday, I remember you were looking for something good to drink. Found a souvenir?”
“Oh, this? The people from the castle said they wanted to give us a special reward for our excellent work in the battle, but when they asked what we wanted, everyone else seemed busy, so on behalf of the party, I asked for this wine.”
What?! She just decided on our reward without asking us?
Anyway, let Aqua hold a bottle of wine long enough, and she was likely to drop it. I reached to take it from her so I could hold on to it until we got home.
“Well, what’s done is done. Once we get back to Axel, we can all—”
—drink it together, I was going to say, but Aqua swatted my hand away.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I said. “You’re just going to fall on it or forget it somewhere, and that’ll mean wasting this classy wine. If you’d bought it yourself, I wouldn’t care, but this is supposed to be a reward for all of us. Come on, I’ll hold it for you. Give it here.”
“No way. They gave it to me, and I’m not handing it over to anyone. The person who delivered it even said, ‘Oh, you all did such fine work, but you were the most amazing out of everyone, Lady Aqua!’ She was thrilled nobody died in this battle, and that was because of me! I’m entitled to this as a reward.”
“I don’t think so! We’re all responsible for the positive outcome. Anyway, that stuff looks expensive. Let me have a— Hey, come back here!”
Aqua fled so no one else could get their hands on her precious wine. And so I was by myself again…
The banquet hall was filled with little clusters of people, mostly surrounding some successful adventurer or other. The nobles, keeping their distance from the rest of the crowd, were nonetheless excited to discuss the battle.
“Heavens, what an easy victory this was! It made all the difference that Lady Dustiness’s party led the charge so astutely!”
“Quite right. Lady Dustiness soaked up the foe’s attacks, while Lady Aqua purified masses of undead and healed everyone’s wounds in the blink of an eye. And then there was Lady Megumin, who struck the final blow to the retreating enemy! It almost seems those three alone could bring down the Demon King!”
“Indeed it does! It does seem that such a trio could go toe-to-toe with the Demon King! You know, I’ve heard that those three have dispatched several generals of the Demon King already. I can’t say I’m surprised…”
“And let’s not forget Master Mitsurugi, wielder of the enchanted blade and pride of the kingdom! If he were to join those other three, surely their party could topple the Demon King. And I think his party already has an archer girl and a spear girl in it. How perfectly balanced their group would be.”
““““That’s perfect!”””” the other nobles agreed.
Ahem—I think you’re forgetting someone in all this talk of the perfect party.
I mean, I understood. I’d been killed by kobolds, after all, and was totally unable to contribute at all this time. The looks I was getting…
“So that’s the guy who…”
“Yeah, that’s him. The one Claire mentioned. All talk…”
“You know, I heard he’s an Adventurer—the weakest class—and his level isn’t even that high.”
“I can’t imagine why Lady Dustiness keeps him around.”
“I hear he’s pretty good at getting people to like him. He’s even in Princess Iris’s good favor and is planning to move into the castle…”
The constant whispering was starting to get to me—but there was some truth in it, so I couldn’t even complain!
In stark contrast to me, all by my lonesome in a corner, everyone else was surrounded by both nobles and other adventurers praising them to the skies.
Megumin had a crowd of what I presumed were wizards around her. As for Aqua, all the people she had healed were mobbing her. Mitsurugi must have been used to getting along in the capital, because he greeted everyone who came up to him with practiced ease. There seemed to be a high percentage of women in his crowd.
A closer look showed that Megumin appeared to be letting the adulation go to her head, while Aqua, for some reason, was still clutching the wine close and shooing away everyone who got near her. She must’ve been under the impression that they were out to steal her alcohol.
And then there was…
“Heh, whatever she says, she’s really the daughter of a major noble family.”
Darkness was in a dress, but unlike at the party the other day, regular adventurers were participating in the victory celebration, too. Maybe that was why she was sharing a special table with the royalty and some of the high-ranking nobles. People who were probably members of the royal guard surrounded the table. I didn’t think I had a shot at getting close.
I guess it was a little late, but I suddenly realized how big the social gap between us was, and it left me feeling kind of lonely.
Then I made eye contact with Iris, who was also seated at Darkness’s table. She had been really angry earlier, but when she looked at me now, I thought she seemed almost sad.
I would be going home the next day. I wished the last thing I’d seen of Iris hadn’t been her in a rage. If only I could have seen her smile…
At that moment, as I stood there feeling sorry for myself, somebody spoke to me. “What, you’re still here at the castle?”
Even though this was a special party, the speaker was wearing her white suit as usual. Claire had a glass in one hand and was glaring daggers at me.
It wasn’t enough that I had been absolutely no help in the recent battle. There had been the whole body-swapping fiasco earlier, too. Suffice it to say, she wasn’t speaking to me as deferentially as she had when we’d first met.
Maybe I was having a bad influence on her, too?
“We’ve asked Lady Dustiness and the others to stay here tonight as guests of honor, but you can show yourself out.”
“…Look, I get that you’re angry with me. Even I think I went a little far this time. But it’s my last night here. You think you could have a heart just this once? I mean, you seemed at least a little bit happy to get a bath with Iris.”
“D-don’t be stupid. What are you saying? Me, happy about a bath with the princess? That’s… That’s the stupidest… But never mind that. We won’t speak of it.”
She definitely felt something more than loyalty for Iris. Darkness and her perversions, Alderp and his creepy-old-guy mentality—were all nobles this way?
“You didn’t catch the thief, and you didn’t do one bit of good in the battle. You really are all talk, aren’t you? I asked around, and it turns out when you defeated the Demon King’s generals, you didn’t even do it yourself. It was always Lady Dustiness or that wizard who struck the final blow.”
This conversation was going south in a hurry.
“I was supervising them! And hey, they’re not perfect, either, all right?”
“I’m already familiar with their shortcomings. But it’s nothing that can’t be compensated for with some backup from our nation. I presume they’ll be asked to join Mitsurugi’s party. Together, I suspect they could defeat even the Demon King. You have more than enough money already, don’t you? Maybe you could just leave that party and spend the rest of your life lolling around town.”
Wait a second, what’s this all of a sudden?
“I’m all for lolling around, but where do you get off trying to force me out of my own party? I knew a young punk who thought a lot like you, but I had him join up with Aqua and the others, and he went home crying. You want to try corralling that lot?”
“They only need to work as part of a group, as they did today. Each of them has one very specific focus, but with a large enough group, that’s fine. And what about you? Do you excel in any one thing, the way they do? Well, think about it. If you can show some ability that puts those girls and Mitsurugi to shame, then you can feel free to laugh at me to your heart’s content.”
Asking me to show what I was capable of the very same day I got killed by kobolds. What a sadist! Fine. Forget this castle! I’m going back to my inn.
…Wait, that’s right.
“Let’s forget all that for a minute. What about the necklace Iris was wearing? Where did it go? Don’t let her keep it. I think it’s some kind of Sacred Treasure. If you give it to my friend Aqua, she’ll seal it away. Could you do that for me?”
Claire’s response to this warning surprised me.
“I can’t do that. That necklace was a gift to His Highness, the first prince, Jatice. As His Highness hasn’t returned yet, it’s not mine to give away. Anyway, it may be a Sacred Treasure, but all it does is let you switch bodies for a while. Where’s the harm in that?”
She blushed a little, looking off to one side.
…She was actually encouraged by all that fuss today.
Maybe it didn’t matter. If you didn’t invoke the activation phrase, it was just a necklace. And you really didn’t switch bodies for very long.
Then Claire gave me a thin smile and said, “I want you out of the capital tomorrow. We don’t need your strength or your abilities. If you refuse to go, I’ll evict you by force… But anyway, feel free to celebrate tonight… That is, if you’ve done anything worth celebrating.”
9
I went back to our inn with tears in my eyes and sat alone in my dark room, sobbing.
“This sucks! What’s her problem anyway? We won’t see each other again after tomorrow, and she still can’t bring herself to say one nice thing to me? I mean, I know it’s partly my fault! In fact, it’s all my fault!”
Darkness and the others had made no attempt to extricate themselves from their admirers, so I assumed they were going to stay until the end of the party and sleep at the castle.
…They wouldn’t really go to Mitsurugi’s party, would they?
Why did this feel so wrong? All along, I’d wanted nothing more than to ditch those deadweights and join a real party, but now that it might actually happen—for some reason, I was really anxious…
Arrrgh, forget it! I’ll just go back to Axel and live a life of leisure on the reward money from Sylvia and the payment from Vanir.
I wondered what I’d do first when I got back to town. I was all for a life of leisure, but even I might get tired of just sleeping all day, every day. It really sucked that this world didn’t have video games or PCs.
But wait—there was that game system Aqua brought back from Crimson Magic Village. Perfect! I’d just get it from her and spend my days playing games to my heart’s content.
As this fantasy was running through my mind, I realized something.
I never got to show Iris who’s boss at our game…
So I sat around, thinking of Iris and moping. That was when it happened: There was a knock at the window of my room.
I looked out. In the moonlight, I could discern the silver-haired thief girl perched on my window frame two stories up.
I opened the window, and Chris slipped into the room.
“Heyo. Didn’t you have a party today? Left early?” Then she laughed as if she knew exactly what had happened, which she probably did. How did she know about the Sacred Treasures and what had gone on at the party anyway? I wondered if there was some kind of “thieves guild” that only thieves could belong to.
“Sneak into my room at night as many times as you want, but my answer’s not going to change. However, I will share some info with you that I happened to pick up. The Sacred Treasure that allows people to change bodies is in the castle. But you really only get to switch for a very short time. It doesn’t seem that dangerous, not like the monster-summoning one.”
I turned toward her just long enough to say all this, then rolled over again in my bed, my back to her. Tonight of all nights, I wanted to be left to my memories of Iris. I knew Lady Eris had asked me to handle the Sacred Treasures when she brought me back from the dead, but right at that moment, I couldn’t muster the motivation.
Chris spoke to my back. “With that item, if one of you dies during the switch, the other one can’t go back to normal,” she nonchalantly explained, even though I couldn’t care le—
“…Wait. What did you just say?” I sat up.
Chris smirked at my panicked expression. “It’s actually an extremely powerful magical item. If you use it right, you could even gain eternal life with it. When your body gets weak, just swap with a young, healthy person and kill the old body. If you transfer your assets before you make the switch, even better.”
Okay, this was no laughing matter. I could see what made this a Sacred Treasure. But right now, Chris and I were the only people who knew what it was really capable of, weren’t we? If we just kept our mouths shut, nobody else had to find out, and it wouldn’t get used for evil, right?
Chris spoke quietly, as though she had read my mind: “That item—I’m sure some noble family initially purchased it. But then, suddenly, it found its way to the princess. Don’t you think that’s strange? Who would have given it to the royal family and why?”
There could be only one reason. To switch bodies with the most powerful person in the land…
“Geez, this is no joke. If we don’t tell the country’s leaders posthaste…”
Chris gave me a sad smile and a slight shake of her head. “I wouldn’t recommend it. What do you think they’d do when they found out about the power of the Sacred Treasure? I’ll tell you. For starters, every noble in this country would come after the Treasure. For that matter, even the royal family might put it to evil uses. If anything, the more power a person has, the more likely he or she is to crave eternal life.”
I couldn’t say a word.
Chris went on. “The reason I told you about the Sacred Treasure was because I was confident that even if you got your hands on it, you wouldn’t do anything evil with it.”
The two of us weren’t that close. Why did she trust me so much?
I mean, she wasn’t wrong. I didn’t have the guts to do anything really bad with an item like that. Even when I switched bodies with Iris, the worst thing I did was try to get into the bath with someone.
…Wait a second. That seems pretty bad to me…
As I stood there silently, Chris spoke again. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be the princess’s playmate or something?”
Silhouetted by the moonlight, Chris looked at me from the window frame and smiled.
“How about we go have a little playdate at the castle right now?”
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login