Volume 8 Digital Edition Short Story: VS!
Under the gaze of several children, Megumin flipped her mantle and announced herself:
“My name is Megumin! The number one magician of Axel, and the one who controls explosion magic!”
Standing directly across from Megumin was…
“My name is Yunyun! The number one magician of the Crimson Magic clan…Kyaa-! Wait-, I’m still introducing myself! Stop, stop!!”
–Yunyun, who began to scream after getting preemptively attacked during her introduction.
In the early morning, at the park in the town of Axel–
Two Crimson Magic clansmen were rolling across the floor.
And I was looking directly at the two of them..
“…Um, for now, can we just say that it’s Megumin’s win?”
“I won’t accept that! The rule that you should wait until the opponent has finished introducing themselves… Ah, wait Megumin! I understand, I understand! It’s my loss it’s my loss! So stop pulling on my hair!!”
As Megumin continued to lunge at her, Yunyun admitted her defeat in tears.
–The way this all started, was when Yunyun – who had come to our mansion to sleepover – nonchalantly said something with no ill intentions whatsoever.
“It’s true that I have more losses, but that’s because Megumin was the one to decide the contents of every match. Also, Megumin and I have never really had a legitimate match right?”
I absentmindedly listened to Megumin and Yunyun talk about their past. They talked about a bunch of things…
Like who was the stronger of the two, and stuff like that…
“–While I did hand the title of ‘number one magician in the Crimson Magic clan’ to you, I’m just annoyed that you can announce that so pridefully!”
“That’s not a valid reason to break the rules! Geez I understand already ok!? The first round is my loss ok!?”
Yunyun was pushed down and mounted by Megumin. No matter how I looked at it, I could not see any single trace of a mature argument.
“Since Megumin won the first round… The next match will be chosen by Yunyun right?”
As someone who had been slowly solicited into being an observer, I wanted this embarrassing competition to end as quickly as possible.
Due to the flashy introductions akin to the Crimson Magic clan, we’ve recently become the center of attention of the children in town.
Amongst the children, there were some that have began imitating the poses of these Crimson Magic clansmen.
Under the collective gaze of these children, tears could be faintly seen in Yunyun’s eyes, and she had shamefully swept the dirt of her clothes, and picked up her purse that had fallen during her quarrel with Megumin.
“Then the next match will be… this board game!”
It was a game that I was familiar with; the chess-like game that Megumin was good at.
“My how unsightly. Yunyun, since you don’t have any friends, you decided to spend the past year training in this game? I’m sure your skill in this game is comparable to a grandmaster already.”
“You don’t have voice your expectation on how I won’t make any friends in the past year! Anyway, are you trying to refuse this challenge knowing that you’ll lose? A true Crimson Magic clansman would take any challenge head-on right?”
“You little…”
Yunyun showed fearless smile towards Megumin, who growled and grit her teeth, and began to arrange the board pieces.
–Yunyun won, and so, the second round ended in a superbly plain fashion.
“With this the score is tied at one to one! Now then, what will our last match be? Will it be a magic showdown like true Crimson Magic clansmen? Ah, but if we’re doing that then let’s see who can defeat more monsters…”
Yunyun, who had beat Megumin in a convincing manner in the second round, seemed uncharacteristically excited. Though, it was probably because she rarely had any company.
Then, Megumin turned to face me.
“Why don’t we have our observer, Kazuma, choose the last match? I wouldn’t complain about his choice, well then, let’s finish this!”
“Kazuma-san will? Well, I’m fine with that…”
Even though they said that, I wanted to hurry up and go home already…
“Well since this is troublesome, let just settle this with rock-paper–”
“What do take the holy showdown between Crimson Magic clansmen for–!?”
“Please choose a little more seriously!”
Even though I had made the correct decision, I was berated by the two of them.
Geez these people… why don’t I just say that we’ll have a sexy showdown where whoever can successfully seduce me first wins?
As I was deciding whether I should say something that borderlined on sexual harassment–
A group of two police officers whom appeared to be on patrol arrived at the park.
The children said something to the police officers, and the police officers quickly turned to look in our direction.
…I can’t but feel an ill premonition.
“Alright then, lets decide the topic of this match.”
The officers probably had an ill premonition as well, and never removed their gazes from Megumin and Yunyun.
“What kind of match are we having? By the way, I was thinking that I wouldn’t mind staying in jail for today…”
“A-Actually, I wouldn’t mind having this match some other day, and…”
Noticing the two getting cold feet, the police officers quickly closed the distance and asked:
“You guys, can I have a moment? I got a report from the neighbors that said that the people who were teaching the children weird games were here…”
“The winner of the match will be whoever can stay here longer! I’m going home first so-!”
“I’ll take this challenge head on! Kuh-! As expected of Yunyun, to think that you would defeat me so easily–!”
“Hey, I didn’t say that I accepted this, so I haven’t won yet! So why is Megumin running away with such regret!? Ah–! Um-, Patrol-san please don’t misunderstand! I wasn’t doing anything bad so…-!”
–Yunyun won.
Consulting with this Masked Devil!
Today as a Harem Consultant
As Moi continued to operate as usual at the corner of the adventurer’s guild, Moi noticed a familiar man.
“Yo Vanir, I want you to tell my fortune.”
“Go away.”
The man’s name is Satou Kazuma.
As the devil whom sees through all, the only person whose thoughts Moi could not fathom were those of this man.
“Hey, I’m a customer you know? In business, the customer is god right? So treat me like one.”
“Since you asked Moi to treat you like a god, that means that you would like to have a taste of Moi Vanir-style death ray, yes?”
Once Moi said that, the person from an alternate world cautiously retreated several steps from Moi.
“Though thy art a good business partner, the same cannot be said of your other aspects. Why is it that thy must come bother Moi every time you have a problem? The only ones that are capable of making Moi – who art a devil – feel so foul are limited to that goddess and you, brat.”
“Oi, don’t compare the benevolent Kazuma with that troublesome person. Hey I’m begging you, isn’t this already a fair deal? I mean, it’s not like I can’t pay up, so why am I the only one not allowed?”
“It is because you always come to Moi to discuss some idiotic things. The last time you came here, you wanted to consult on ‘Even though I live together with so many young girls, why is it that no one has ever snuck into my bed!? Why is it that there are no opportunities to peep on them changing!? Is this some kind of curse!?’ amongst other foolish topics.”
“I don’t really think that these topics are stupid…Hmm, I guess that it’s because this isn’t Japan, but an alternate world huh? The reason why nothing happens even though we live together, is simply because the common sense here is different from Japan. There’s no way around that hm… Well, let’s just leave this topic there for now.”
As the person from the alternate world continued to ramble on, he leaned his head towards Moi, and said with a soft voice:
“I want you to see how many pretty girls in this town have feelings for me.”
“Go away.”
The man from an alternate world had come – once again – to discuss some idiotic things. I flicked my hand and gestured for him to leave.
“Wait, what? Are you just trying to make my life hard!? Didn’t I already say that I would pay you!?”
“You’re goddamned annoying you little brat! You’re a brat that would use Moi powers to do something so unfathomably pointless! There’s not a single lady out there that would like someone of the likes of you!”
“Are you kidding me!? How can there be not a single girl out there that likes me!? I am the hero that routed several demon king army generals, the savior of this town, the great adventurer Kazuma-san you know!? It wouldn’t even be strange if someone asked me for my signature!”
“Moi told you already! A queer girl like that doesn’t exist in this world! Now hurry up and leave, you’re obstructing Moi from doing business!”
Even though Moi had told this man from an alternate world the truth, he refused to accept Moi answer, and sat down beside Moi.
Then, a young female customer – unrelated to this mess – arrived at Moi table.
“Um, I have something I’m bothered about that I came to consult on…”
“Hmpf, no matter what problem you have, Moi will do Moi best to solve it immediately. The fee for this consultation will be determined by how complicated your problem is. Are Moi terms agreeable?”
Hearing Moi inquiry, the customer sitting across the table nodded her head.
“Actually… Recently my chest has been aching a little… There’s nothing during the day, but at night it feels like something is pressing down on my chest…”
“It’s probably love huh~~”
“Stop messing around you little brat! Just go to the side over there and stay put!”
Moi dismissed the man from an alternate world – who nonchalantly chipped into the conversation – and used Moi power to see through everything about the customer.
“…Hmpf, thy mother-in-law that passed away last month is coming to thy home every night to trouble thy. When thy art fast asleep, she will jump around on thy chest…”
“That woman, she won’t leave me alone even though she’s dead!? Please teach me some way to repel evil spirits!”
Moi handed a slip of paper to the enraged customer.
“Thy should go to the address written on the memo and look for ‘Wiz’s Magic Tool store’. That store sells a type of holy water named ‘Goddess’ Juice’. If you sprinkle it around your home, the evil spirit will be purified, and will peacefully ascend to heaven.”
“I got it! Here’s some extra as thanks for your help, please take it! This time I’ll settle it with that wench once and for all!”
The lady slammed the money onto the table, and hurriedly ran out of the adventurer’s guild. True to her word, the value of the money was greater than the standard consultation fee.
The man from an alternate world that saw the situation unfold, opened his mouth and said:
“Oi, didn’t you just easily solve that person’s problem? So why won’t you even try to solve mine? Is it because you’ll only try hard when the customer is female?”
“So you’re still here you annoying little brat. If you actually have something proper to discuss, then Moi shall properly assist you. So go and find some earnest problems, and come back to find Moi. If you don’t have any then go away. Moi has to serve the next customer.”
Yes, Moi consultation center was about to enter its prime-time.
As the person from an alternate world moved to the back of the line, behind several of Moi more respectable customers.
“Oi wait a second. Even I have some normal problems I want to discuss. I was just joking around earlier, so sorry about that. Anyway, I won’t try to be cheap, so help me solve my problem alright?”
As he said that, the man from an alternate world showed an earnest expression.
Since this brat was always involved in some kind of trouble, could it be that he encountered some problem again?
Moi leaned forward, and asked seriously:
“…What trouble do you have?”
“It doesn’t matter if they’re a girl or a boy, the people around me are strange no matter what. So I’m kinda troubled by this.”
“Go away.”
As Moi gave Moi final judgment, the man from an alternate world’s face seemed to change color.
“What why! Isn’t this an actual earnest problem already!? You’re just useless when the problem actually matters!”
“Since you’re always asking Moi about useless things, why don’t Moi cast a curse that makes mushrooms grow on your rear!? Maybe you will have a real problem then!”
The man from an alternate world’s body trembled, and he swiftly backed away from Moi.
Once he felt that he was safe with the distance between us, he turned back and shouted:
“I-di-ot! I-di-ot! I said that I was surrounded by strange people, but the strangest person is actualy you! I’m gonna spread bad rumors about your consulting center till it closes, so know y–! Yo, I’m just joking, I’m just joking dude! Don’t come any closer!”
With all Moi might, Moi chased after the man who ran away after spouting such dastardly lines.
That little brat is perhaps the strangest man in this town.
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