Chapter 4
Prayers for These Glory-less Gods!
1
We were given a room; I put my stuff down right away and then went with Aqua, who also had too much time on her hands, to explore the fortress. All the adventurers and soldiers we passed seemed pretty on edge, maybe a sign of how bad things really were.
So the atmosphere around here wasn’t exactly comfortable. Aqua and I were screwing around in an area with a placard marked CONTROL ROOM.
“Hey, Kazuma. There are a lot of mysterious levers and buttons here. These just scream ‘Push me,’ don’t they?”
“They sure do. Frankly, I would think there was something wrong with you if you didn’t push those buttons.”
“Where in the gods’ names did you wander in from?! Those buttons and levers control the fortress’s drawbridge, gate, and traps, so don’t you dare touch them! Hands off, do you hear me?!”
The soldier’s reaction made him sound like the straight man in a comedy duo, and Aqua rose to the challenge. “Well, now I definitely have to push them. I think I’ll start with the one under this glass lid…”
“That’s the fortress’s self-destruct button for in case we get overrun—please don’t press it! Please don’t… I said, don’t touch that! Get out of here, you ruffians!”
The soldier lost his temper and chased us out of the room, so now we were standing outside.
“Chased out again. These people aren’t very welcoming, are they?”
“We are on the front line. I guess no one has it in them to be warm and friendly.”
We’d gotten ourselves chased out of one room after another (maybe it had to do with our total inability to control ourselves?), and now we were left with nowhere to go.
“Ah, well,” I said. “I hear they have a mess hall where you can eat for free. Let’s go score some grub.”
“I like that idea. Maybe I’ll bring the wine I packed.”
I wondered what she’d put in that backpack to make it bulge like that. So she’d brought wine with her, huh?
But at that moment…
“Lady Aqua?! Lady Aqua, it’s you!” shouted someone coming down the corridor.
The guy looked oddly familiar…
“Oh, Mitsuragi,” I said. “Long time no see.”
“It’s Mitsurugi! Are you getting my name wrong on purpose?! You’d think you could remember someone’s name by now!”
It was Mitsurugi, the Sword Master with the enchanted blade.
“Lady Aqua, it’s been so long! You look well, as always…”
“Yes, I’m doing very well. What about you, Enchanted Sword Person? Say, where’s your little harem?”
“Harem?! W-well, things were getting worse around here, so I sent the girls back to the capital to keep them out of danger… Oh, that’s right!” Mitsurugi looked from Aqua to me. “Satou, how could you bring Lady Aqua to such a dangerous place? Do you understand what’s going on here?!”
“Believe me, I do. This is the front line of the battle with the Demon King’s army, and there’s a general of the king himself attacking this place on the regular. That sound about right?”
Mitsurugi obviously wanted to know why I’d done this, but Aqua broke in. “You see, I came here to encourage all of you fighting so hard in this place. I hear your opponent is known as a dark god. So I figured, being a deity myself, I had to come and do something.” She looked and sounded as if all this was completely natural.
“Lady Aqua, you’re going to fight that woman?! Th-that’s… Well, certainly I believe you’ll be able to resist her, but she’s very dangerous. She’s brought this fortress to the brink of catastrophe all by herself.” Mitsurugi cast a worried look at Aqua.
“So this general is another woman… Look, I’m not really worried. I know we’re dealing with some self-proclaimed dark god, but there have to be a bunch of Japanese people with ‘cheats’ here, right? I mean, you’re here. I know you lost to me, but you’re a high-level wielder of an enchanted blade. Even if I did beat you. So what’s this about a lone enemy bottlenecking everyone?”
“S-stop with the I-beat-you business—you won’t even accept my challenges to a rematch… Look, there’s a reason we’re cornered here. You haven’t seen it yet, have you?”
…“It”?
I shook my head.
“I figured not, given the way you were talking. Well, you’ve got some time to kill, right? Let me show you a little something.”
Mitsurugi started walking ahead of us.
He guided us out of the fortress, and that was when I saw it for the first time.
It was part of the outer wall, the very life and death of this fortress. That wall should have been the sturdiest thing around, but part of it was practically crumbling, apparently from the force of several extremely violent attacks.
“Hey, don’t tell me…”
I recognized the scars left by those acts of destruction.
After all, I saw them every day.
I hadn’t become Megumin’s explosier for nothing.
“Uh-huh. Wolbach, general of the Demon King, uses explosion magic,” Mitsurugi said, and then he smirked at me as I stood there speechless.
2
Aqua and I parted ways with Mitsurugi, and then I called everyone to our room.
“Okay. I think we need to decide what we’re doing next.” I looked at everyone from where I was seated on the bed.
“What we’re doing next? I was talking to the fortress commander, and he said that in light of all the generals of the Demon King we’ve vanquished, he wanted to give overall command to us.”
I wanted to slap a hand on my face. Darkness had apparently been going about making my life harder right under my nose.
To be perfectly blunt, this one was hopeless.
My initial plan had been to hole up inside the fortress, safe and sound, and then hit the enemy with a nice long-range Explosion before she could show up and do anything to us. Explosion magic could damage anything and everything, be it ghost, god, or demon. My plan was based on the assumption that that was the way to take care of just about anything, but with our enemy using the same spell, we of course lost the initiative of having the longer reach.
“Uh, wanna know something? This general of the Demon King, Wolbach… Believe it or not, she uses explosion magic.”
“Hrk?!” Megumin practically knocked over her chair as she jumped up. I guess mentioning explosions really was the way to get a rise out of her.
“Did you say explosion magic?! I—I never imagined… Thanks to Megumin, I’m well aware of how destructive that can be. To be honest, I’m not sure how we could fight it…” Yunyun hung her head.
“It’s okay—leave it to me!” Darkness cried. “I’ve survived an explosion before! Use me as bait to draw her out. Then, after the enemy launches her spell, she’ll be wide-open for you to counterattack.”
“You don’t even have your armor right now. Even with Aqua’s buffs, there’s no guarantee you’d survive, right?”
Darkness’s armor had been destroyed in the battle with the zombie dragon. Now her shoulders slumped.
Aqua nodded. “Well, you see how things are. I know it wasn’t easy getting here, but I’m thinking maybe I can overlook someone calling themselves a dark god this one time. Not that I’m scared or anything, but you know, this Wolbach must be a minor deity. I mean, I’ve never heard of her—and honestly, I feel kind of bad for her.”
So it was our self-proclaimed goddess who was the first to fold at the mention of explosion magic, offering excuses no one had asked for.
Then Megumin, who had been stock-still until that moment, gave her cape a dramatic flourish. “My name is Megumin! First among the magic-users of Axel and master of Explosion! A general of the Demon King, a dark god, and a user of Explosion to boot…! This person may finally be the fated rival I’ve been searching for all these years!”
“Whaaat?!” This declaration of rival-hood brought a yelp from Yunyun.
“Do not whaaat me. I am satisfied to have a fellow Explosion user for an opponent. And in the unlikely event that I am defeated, I shall be more than happy to be blown up! Indeed, were I to meet my end, I would have no regrets about my life!!”
“How can you be so ridiculous?! Anyway, Megumin, I’m your rival, aren’t I?! How can you just promote some general of the Demon King—one you’ve never even met!—straight to rival?!”
“Wh-what are you saying?! You are a most troublesome girl indeed. If you wish to be recognized as my true rival, go and learn Explosion. Then I will let you accompany me on my walks every day.”
“I don’t want to learn Explosion, and I don’t want to go on your stupid walks! We’ve got more important things to worry about. Is it true this enemy uses Explosion?! What can we do about it…?”
“You do not want to learn Explosion, indeed! Very well, challenge accepted! It has been a long time since we last had one of our contests. If you lose, you will have to save up skill points upon skill points and finally learn Explosion!”
“N-no way! I’m not going to make a bet that could change the entire course of my— M-Megumin, your eyes are so red! Don’t tell me you’re serious?! Come on, you’re not, are you?!”
I ignored the two dueling mages to focus on the matter at hand.
“I vote we discount Megumin’s idiocy. This enemy is just too dangerous. It sounds like she could wipe us all out in a single shot. And when your body gets reduced to ash, even Aqua’s resurrection can’t help you. So I recommend an immediate retre—”
“What is this foolishness you speak?! What do you mean, running away before an opponent no more powerful than this?! This is the foe I have been fated to face—I am sure of it!”
Megumin seemed to be heating up; her eyes burned red, and she put one foot on her chair to strike her pose.
“So the one who targets my familiar, Chomusuke, is an Explosion-wielding general of the Demon King who calls herself a dark god! I see I have no choice but to defeat this Wolbach and assume the titles of general of the Demon King and dark god myself!”
“The hell are you talking about? …Anyway, the risk is just too high this time. It’s going to be a contest of who shoots first, and I don’t like those odds.”
“Odds have nothing to do with it. Explosion is my favorite thing. My hobby is, of course, Explosion. Explosion is practically synonymous with my very being. Speak of the Explosion Mage of Axel, and you speak of me. I have longed for this day ever since the moment I first learned Explosion. My chanting is swift and precise! My magic boasts incredible destructive potential! I solemnly declare that there is no one in this world who is a greater user of Explosion than I!”
Finally, Megumin concluded by exhaling a confident breath.
“I’m pretty sure you lost to Wiz when you guys were wrapping up Destroyer.”
“That’s in the past. As my level has increased and I have learned skill after skill to heighten the power of my explosive magics, I have sought out ever greater challenges to test myself. I am, assuredly, the greatest user of Explosion in all of Axel.”
What had this girl been doing when I hadn’t been watching her like a hawk?
“Worry not. One who lulls herself to sleep on restless nights by reciting the incantation for Explosion, as I do, shall certainly finish her incantation before any foe!”
“Don’t BS me—even you don’t do anything that obnoxious!”
But just as I was about to launch into a real lecture for Megumin—
—there was an earsplitting roar, and the entire fortress shook. Bits of debris rained from the ceiling, and everyone but Megumin reflexively crouched down.
And me? After hearing Megumin’s explosions every single day, I knew perfectly well what that sound was.
I could say with perfect certainty that the source of that noise and that shaking was explosion magic.
An alarm warning of an enemy attack began to sound throughout the fortress; Megumin alone looked like she was thinking clearly. “Hmm,” she muttered. “That produced quite some shock. Judging by the wave of MP that directly preceded the spell, this person is a very refined user of Explosion. She did not teach herself or learn at random.”
“This is no time for appreciating the finer points of a blast,” I growled. But as befitting someone dubbed an explosier, it was clear to me how accurate that explosion had been. If I was going to rank it, I would probably have given it even higher than ninety points. “We’ve got to hurry, Megumin, right now. This is our chance—we’re going to go finish off that general now that she’s on the attack!”
“Huh? B-but, Kazuma, you were so against that until a moment ago.”
I threw on my chest plate and whatever else I could scrounge up, then grabbed a weapon as I got to my feet. I looked at the rest of the party, all of them completely surprised by this. “If she just hit us with an explosion, that means she’s all out of boom for today, right?”
““““Oh!””””
Our opponent might be a general of the Demon King, but even a boss as big as that wouldn’t be able to let off more than one of an MP-hungry spell like Explosion in a single day. Even Wiz, who was a general in that same army herself, was pretty well tapped out after just one shot. With our enemy hurting for magic, then, we had nothing to fear from attacking.
I checked that everyone was with me as I rushed out of the room, then took the path Mitsurugi had shown us toward the blasted segment of wall.
We arrived at the site of the explosion out of breath, to find…
“This is awful.”
It looked like the damaged spot had been hit by a second blast; the formerly sturdy wall was now a pile of rubble sitting in a crater.
A number of other adventurers and knights, presumably drawn by the sound of the explosion just like us, were standing around and taking it in. I saw someone I recognized and went over to him.
“Hey, where’s the general we’re after? This is the time to get her, when she’s low on magic, isn’t it?”
It was Mitsurugi I was asking about the whereabouts of the perpetrator; he was standing there staring vacantly at the aftermath of the blast.
His answer wasn’t what I expected.
“Wolbach? She’s long gone… This is why this fight’s been so hard for us. The dark god Wolbach just appears, launches an explosion from a distance, and then teleports away again before we can get anywhere near her,” he explained. “There’s a squad of the Demon King’s handpicked troops camping out in the forest nearby. We assume that’s where she’s retreating to restore her magic before she comes back. But there’s a lot of them, and the forest is full of monsters anyway. Outside the fortress walls, on terrain the enemy knows better than we do, we’re going to lose. Of course, we can only hunker down in this fort for so long before the walls are all blown away and we’re sitting ducks for the Demon King’s troops.”
I guess this wasn’t the first time this had happened. That would explain why everyone had looked so worried and downcast. If they tried to chase down the general after she’d let off her explosion, they would run into the Demon King’s chosen troops, but if they tried to hide in the fortress to keep themselves safe from the troops, the general would come and hit them with explosions.
Basically, they were surrounded by superior numbers and being smoked out by magical blasts. A kind of brute strategy but an effective one.
After he had finished explaining the situation, Mitsurugi said, “If we could just get rid of either Wolbach or the elite troops, we might be able to manage something…”
He grasped the hilt of his enchanted sword and closed his eyes as if he was in pain…
“I’ve got it. Let’s run.”
“Uh-huh, definitely. Let’s go right back home to Axel and make a bed for Emperor Zel. One he’ll really love, better than that vile shell. It’s okay. When Emperor Zel gets bigger, he’ll be able to take care of any general of the Demon King in one shot.”
We were back in our rooms, and Aqua and I had promptly begun making preparations to leave.
Darkness was agitated when she saw us. “W-wait, Kazuma, I told you they already foisted command of this fortress on us. I don’t think we can go rushing home just because—”
“Why now? Why now, of all times, would you let them make that sort of trouble for you?!”
“You’re the one who forced your way in here by telling them who I was!”
Aqua broke into our argument. “Hmm? Hey, I wonder what happened to Yunyun. I was sure she was with us until a little while ago.”
“She is helping to rebuild the wall with magic.”
“Oh, okay. I guess there’s a reason they call her one of the capable members of the Crimson Magic Clan. I should probably go see if anyone’s been hurt, myself.”
“I shall ask just who you are implying is an incapable member of the Crimson Magic Clan.”
Aqua’s uncharacteristically priestlike fit of compassion seemed to be motivated by Megumin’s glowing eyes. She hurried out of the room.
Darkness nodded at this. “Aqua and Yunyun are both doing what they can. It’s wonderful. They’re real veteran adventurers, huh? Kazuma, don’t you think we’re veteran adventurers by now, too?”
I was disappointed in Darkness, whose eyes were glimmering despite the dire situation. I guess she had a soft spot for heroes. It didn’t look like she was going to be willing to abandon this fortress in a crisis.
I was trying to decide how to bring my hardheaded party member around when Megumin piled on with the pathetic begging.
“Um, Kazuma… I know it’s dangerous, but won’t you give me just one chance? The rest of you may all stay safe inside this fortress. I will hide somewhere to wait for Wolbach, and the next time she appears, I’ll hit her with my Explosion before she can launch hers.” Then she looked at the ground, unusually meek.
Oh, you’ve gotta be— If it wasn’t one thing, it was another.
“…I know Sense Foe, Second Sight, and Ambush. Any surprise attack would be a lot more likely to work with me there. I’ll go with you, but when the enemy shows up, it’s gonna be all you.”
Megumin, caught off guard by my offer, looked at me with wide eyes. A smile slowly spread over her face.
“You can count on me!”
Her crimson eyes gleamed with joy, and she puffed out her chest; despite her small stature, she had never looked tougher.
3
The next day.
We were in the forest near the fortress, where I had scrambled up a large tree and was having a look around.
“Geez, I can’t believe the Demon King’s forces got so close.”
I could make out what appeared to be an enemy encampment in the woods just a few miles from the fortress. I couldn’t quite see exactly what kinds of monsters they had there, but I could tell there were lots of them. If they came against our base in force, those walls and traps might be all that stood between us and total annihilation.
I climbed down again and went to fill in Megumin and the others.
“The people in the fortress say that every time Wolbach comes to drop an explosion on the place, she’s alone. That gives me an idea.” I looked around at everyone. “First, I use Ambush to hide out in this area. If it doesn’t look like she’s noticed me, I’ll signal Megumin to get one good magical hit on her. On the off chance she spots me, Yunyun will use light-bending magic to hide Megumin, while Darkness, armed with buffs from Aqua, comes up to draw the enemy’s attention. Then Aqua and I work with Darkness to make an opening. Megumin, you can hit her whenever you think the moment is right… Sound good?”
Everyone looked pretty fired up about this plan, except…
“Ooh! Kazuma, Kazuma! I have a thought. I think someone should be assigned to protect this sweet creature. Such an innocent little life shouldn’t be exposed to such danger… Hey, excuse me, but that hurts. You like everyone else so much—why do you have to sharpen your claws on me?”
Aqua grimaced as Chomusuke raked her claws across the hand Aqua was holding her with. It did look pretty painful.
Chomusuke was normally pretty docile, but she’d seemed excited ever since this morning, following us around. We’d tried to leave her in our rooms to keep her safe, but she always seemed to find her way back to us.
I had Yunyun take over the job of holding the restless cat, then turned to Aqua and Darkness. “Okay, I think we’re ready. Now we just have to wait for this Wolbach.”
“Hey, Kazuma, I’m having second thoughts…”
“You sounded more eager than any of us before we got here.”
I didn’t know how long it had been since we’d set up our little trap in the forest.
But then we saw the infamous general of the Demon King. Her face was hidden by a hood, and a plain robe covered her body as she walked toward the fortress at a leisurely pace.
Her outfit mostly hid the contours of her body, but there was still no mistaking that she was definitely a woman. She probably appeared so calm and collected because she knew that if anyone from the fortress came out to attack her, she could just blow them away with an explosion long before they got to her, then teleport to safety.
“What a dirty trick,” I found myself muttering. “Doesn’t she have the guts to fight fair?”
“I’m betting you’re the last person she’d want to hear that from,” Darkness shot back at me.
While Aqua was busy buffing Darkness, the woman in the robe stopped. She was a ways off still, but she must have been close enough to land her explosion on the fortress.
“All right, Megumin, start chanting your magic, quietly. We’re not gonna wait around for her to finish her entire villainous spiel. We hit her while her guard’s down and finish this.”
“Whatever happened to fighting fair? I find this scheme rather underhanded, but very well. I would feel bad if Darkness had to endure an Explosion that could have been prevented.”
Darkness herself looked pretty eager at the prospect of taking an especially big blast, but while I felt bad for her, I wanted to wrap this right up and go home.
That’s when it happened.
The hooded woman seemed to sense something—and then she looked right at me.
Had she seen through Ambush?
I tried to stay completely still, but then she started walking toward me…
“She knows! Megumin, chant that magic like you mean it! We have to get in the first hit!”
“Leave it to me, Kazuma!” Megumin began her incantation. But at the same time—
“Eek! Wh-what’s wrong, Chomusuke?! You’re going berserk!”
Chomusuke was flailing around, trying to get out of Yunyun’s arms. I didn’t know why the little furball had suddenly gotten so agitated, but I didn’t have time to worry about it. I had to get the enemy to focus on me until Megumin could finish her spell!
“Darkness, Aqua! Let’s buy her some time!” I yelled, and then I rushed out of the underbrush.
The general of the Demon King had been approaching with caution, but when I came bursting out, she stopped.
“Hey, Kazuma, I’m wondering if it might be best for me to stay behind…you know, in case you need backup later. If anything happens to me, I won’t be able to bring you back to life, remember?! Hey, are you listening to me?!”
“Shut up and follow me! If we get hit with Explosion, there won’t be anything left to bring back to life anyway! And as much as I hate to say it, you’re the only one we’ve got who has any hope of being a match for a self-proclaimed dark god!”
Aqua was practically crying and looked like she was on the verge of just running away, but I dragged her along to confront the general. Darkness was a step behind; she rushed up to cover us.
…But the woman, instead of attacking us, just stood there, an expression of surprise partly visible under her hood.
“…What’s happening here? She looks shocked. Am I so notorious that even the ranks of the Demon King’s army recognize me and tremble?”
“She’s probably never seen someone with such a weird, dumb, and ridiculous face before,” Aqua interjected.
There was really no need for that, and I was trying to decide how to get revenge on her when the general before us pulled back her hood, finally revealing her face.
The woman had short red hair and golden catlike eyes.
It was her: the woman I’d shared the tub with on two separate occasions.
Yunyun spoke up from behind me at the same moment; she sounded shocked for some reason. “…What are you doing here?”
“That’s what I’d like to know. I thought you were just a woman who liked baths.”
Though I had to admit, I may have had the slightest inkling this would happen.
I had known she was somehow connected with the Demon King’s army, after all. And I had seen her chatting with Hans, a known general of the Demon King, in Arcanletia. And although it was long enough ago that I wasn’t sure anymore, I could’ve sworn I’d heard Hans call this woman Wolbach.
In hindsight, maybe I just hadn’t wanted to admit that this woman—whom I’d bathed with and whom I couldn’t quite bring myself to hate—was actually our enemy.
The woman— No, the general of the Demon King said, “I never did introduce myself to you. My name is Wolbach: general of the Demon King and goddess of sloth and violence.” She narrowed her feline eyes, adding to her intimidation factor.
…Well, crap. Do I seriously have to fight her?
“…Huh, I guess I didn’t know you were connected with the Demon King’s army. Truth be told, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you. You really don’t strike me as a bad person, so why join up with the Demon King?” I was all innocence.
“Why, indeed. Is this what you would call chitchat?” She gave me an amused smile. “If you want to know, defeat me first.”
For a brief moment, there was a hint of sadness in her smile.
Dammit. Is fighting really the only way?
That fleeting, lonely smile made my heart ache, and I wished there was another way out of this battle…
“Excuse me. I’m sorry to interrupt you when you’re so busy acting all important and mysterious, but I object. Deity you may be, but I won’t stand for this goddess-of-sloth-and-violence business. People are going to come after you for false advertising. Call yourself what you are: a dark god.”
There went my ruminations. Aqua, who was supposed to be cowering in fear, jumped in with a ridiculous spiel that totally shattered this otherwise serious moment.
Wolbach looked a bit startled, maybe not expecting someone to open with that the very first time they met.
Wait… Did Aqua just agree that she was a deity? And did that mean the woman in front of me wasn’t just calling herself a goddess but actually was a dark god?
“I grant that sloth and violence aren’t the most reputable disciplines to preside over, but I myself am a perfectly upstanding goddess. No false advertising involved, dear.”
“That’s a lie! Kazuma, this self-proclaimed goddess just told a lie! Eris and I are the only officially recognized goddesses of this world! You apologize! You can’t just go around calling yourself whatever you want, besmirching the good name of real, pure, beautiful goddesses like me! Apologize right now!”
It looked like Wolbach had gotten over her surprise. She raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Wh-what’s this all of a sudden? I really was a perfectly decent goddess once. But after I joined the Demon King’s army, some freaks called the Axis Church decided I was a dark god, and yes, I’ve used that expression myself once or twice! But that still doesn’t give some priest I’ve never met the right to talk to me like that!”
“You just called my dear, sweet children freaks! How can you make fun of the Axis Church, which is renowned the world over?! You’re not any kind of god at all, are you? Do you even have any followers? Pfft-heh-heh-heh, ‘Wolbach’ is such a minor-league deity, I’ve never even heard of her!”
Aqua was really getting into her chiding. Meanwhile, cracks were starting to form in Wolbach’s tranquil demeanor.
“Y-y-you, a mere human, dare to mock the gods? You won’t get away with that! Any priest worth her salt ought to have a little respect for true deities! Even ones from other religions!”
Aqua, unimpressed by the quaking Wolbach, ran a hand through her hair. “Human? You’re calling me a human? It’s because of blind idiots like you that I get called a ‘self-proclaimed’ goddess!”
I wanted to add that Aqua herself was a blind enough idiot to mistake a chicken’s egg for a dragon’s, but then she proudly flourished her divine feather mantle and stuck out her chest. And then, acting as smug as ever, Aqua announced herself to Wolbach.
“My name is Aqua. Yes, Aqua, the very goddess of water venerated by the Axis Church! Far be it from me to heed the ramblings of some insignificant deity I’ve never even heard of!”
“What?!” Wolbach stared in shock at the openly gloating Aqua. “…You know you’re gonna get yourself divine punishment pretending to be a god, right?”
“Apologize! Apologize for saying I’m pretending!” Enraged at her failure to get even a dark god to believe she was a real goddess, Aqua grabbed on to Wolbach.
“H-hey! Stop that, you impudent cur, or I really will call down divine punishment on you! You’ll be cursed! Like, when you wake up on your day off, you won’t be able to muster any motivation and shall spend the whole day lounging in bed, totally wasting your hard-earned vacation!”
“I’d like to see you try! I’ll punish you. Like, you’ll be using the bathroom, and there’ll be someone begging you to hurry up, but the toilet just won’t flush!”
“Well, goddesses don’t use the bathroom, so that doesn’t worry me!”
“Every day of my life is like a day off, so your punishment doesn’t worry me!”
Uh… Hmm. These two are goddesses, right? These supposedly adult women, at each other’s throats the very first time they meet?
I had always pictured goddesses being more august and honorable.
“Yo, Kazuma. Think we can just forget about these two?”
“I’d like to, but that’s a general of the Demon King we’re dealing with, so I guess we’d better not…”
While Darkness and I whispered to each other, Aqua, apparently unable to hold back any longer, thrust her hand into the air. Some kind of mist started floating around, finally cohering into little globes of water.
…That idiot. Had she forgotten we were supposed to be distracting the enemy?
Speaking of which, what was Megumin doing? How was she not done with her incantation yet?!
“It looks like I have to show you the true power of the goddess of water! You are one smart-mouthed evil deity! And here you don’t even have any followers, let alone ones as cheerful and optimistic and pure and righteous and free as mine!”
“H-how could someone as stupid as you actually be the goddess of water? It’s your obnoxious followers who stuck me with this evil-god label! And I do too have followers—they’re just all in the Demon King’s army!! You’re a pretty ‘minor-league’ goddess yourself compared with Eris!!”
……………
“Sacred Create Water!”
“T-Teleport!!”
We were left with no general of the Demon King and one huge flood of water called down by Aqua’s spell!
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