Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 10 - Chapter 7

LET’S MAKE A THREAT 

So I went to file a complaint with D, and as a result, D got escorted away by Miss Maid. 

I know that sounds like a lot of nonsense, though trust me, I don’t really get it, either. 

But I guess this means no more meddling from D, so I’m extra free to do whatever I want now! 

And I managed to borrow a few items D left behind, too. 

…Even if they all seem like gag gifts to me. 

Still, uh, they’re just as effective as you’d hope literal god-tier items would be, so I’ll find a use for them…probably. 

I mean, definitely! Yeah! 

Anyway, now that I’m back home, I’ve wasted no time doing some follow-up investigations. 

The Colonel’s gonna look out for the elves until they reach the border, but there’s no telling what’ll happen after that. 

The Colonel is a big shot, sure, but that’s only in demon territory. 

Once our guests are in human territory, he can’t do squat. 

I’ve got to find a way to keep the elves safe across the border. 

The fastest way to do that would be to deal with the borderlands bandits somehow. 

Those guys kinda default to shoot first, ask questions later mode with strangers. 

Honestly, they’re a lot scarier than some stupid monsters. I think they deserve their own danger rank and whatnot. 

The various bandit groups cooperate really well, too, so if you take too long to crush one, another clan will come running to their rescue. 

And once things get that out of hand, the human army will probably come to check out the ruckus, too. 

So the only way through is to crush one of the clans as fast as possible. 

I’m sure the Demon Lord could’ve done that when we came here from the human realm, but there was no need to go out of our way to wipe out a whole tribe just to avoid taking a detour. 

But in this case, the elves need to get through bandit country somehow. 

Which is why I’ve gotta find a tribe that looks easy to wipe out. 

I’m using my real body and my mini-mes to explore the borderlands, and what do you think I find there? 

A boy and a girl speaking Japanese. 

Hoo, boy. These are definitely reincarnations, huh? 

They call each other Kunihiko and Asaka. 

Hrmmm. Based on Hiiro Wakaba’s memories, that means they’re probably Asaka Kushitani and Kunihiko Tagawa, right? 

Huh. D said Potimas had collected a bunch of reincarnations, but I guess he didn’t get his grubby mitts on these two. 

Makes sense, since they’re not exactly in a prime kidnapping location. 

If you tried any funny business out here, you’d end up making an enemy of most if not all the dangerous clans who live on the border. 

Potimas probably knew these two were there but decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. 

Really, I guess he didn’t have much of a choice. 

The only way to kidnap these guys would be to crush their entire clan. 

I’m sure Potimas could pull that off, but in terms of effort versus potential gain, it probably wouldn’t be very cost-effective. And he hates that kind of bargain, so it’s no wonder he left them alone. 

Ugh, this sucks, though. 

Ms. Oka was enough of a problem on her own, so the last thing I needed was to find even more issues to deal with… 

But now that I’ve found them, I can’t just ignore them. 

I mean, I’d LOVE to ignore them, but that probably wouldn’t be good… 

If I just leave them there, they’ll definitely get killed in the war the Demon Lord’s about to start. 

We’ve gotta take them in, or at least move them to somewhere else. 

But taking them in would mean we’d have to kill their whole clan first. 

Not exactly the best first impression. 

We might end up bringing them back here only for them to make it their life’s mission to get revenge. 

Argh! This is such a pain, dammit! 

I wish we could just sweep away their clan and let them figure it out! 

…Wait, maybe that would actually work? 

In fact, is it just me or is that our only option? 

If we leave ’em alone, they’re just gonna get killed in the war, and if we try to take them in, their clan will definitely throw down without entertaining any negotiation. There’s no peaceful way to resolve this, that’s for sure. 

So maybe we just need to chase them off, even if it means resorting to violence, and let them figure out the rest for themselves? 

Although we’d have to make sure the elves don’t try to mess with them, at least. 

Yep, that settles it. 

Not quite as delicate as my plan to save Ms. Oka, but there’s nothing I can do about that. 

So I guess we’ll crush that clan and then have Ms. Oka and company pass through their recently cleared turf. 

Seems like the only workable solution to me, yep. 

As for who’s best suited to do the actual deed…that’d be Mera, I guess? 

I’m sure Mr. Oni could pull it off, but I’d be a little worried about whether or not he’s strong enough. And more importantly, it’d be in pretty poor taste to have a reincarnation wholesale murder the families of his fellow reincarnations. 

Mera’s the perfect man for the job. 

…Unless he refuses, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. 

I don’t know what Vampy’s planning to do from here on out, but it’s not like her servant, Mera, is obligated to help us with all our plans. 

This is a massacre, plain and simple, even if we’re doing it for a specific reason. 

Mera lost his hometown in battle and had his precious masters killed by Potimas, so violence might be traumatic for him, especially if I’m asking him to do it with his own hands. I wouldn’t blame him if he refused. 

Well, I guess in that case, I can take care of it myself, even if it’d require some extra effort on my part. 

That settles the border situation, which only leaves what happens once they get across. 

And that’s one thing I can’t do anything about myself. 

I’ve gotta make an appointment with the person in charge of the human lands, where they’ll wind up once they cross the border. 

Which means I have to go negotiate. 

With the de facto ruler of humanity, no less: the pontiff of the Word of God. 

“So that’s the plan.” 

“Oh. Erm… I see.” 

“What’s with the lackluster response?” 

Here I am trying to come up with all these extensive plans, but the Demon Lord seems totally unimpressed. 

“It’s just, uh, I dunno. Y’know?” 

“No, I don’t. What are you getting at? Just spit it out already.” 

“Okay, am I the only one who finds that super-annoying coming from someone who normally refuses to say anything? In fact, that’s exactly the problem! Has your whole personality changed or what? I mean, I know it hasn’t, but still! You’re not acting weird exactly, but you’re not acting normal, either!” 

Now she’s mad at me for some reason. 

“Um, what?” 

“Don’t ‘what?’ me! If anything, I’m the one who should be saying that! Since when are you so talkative, huh?! What happened to your usual fake-mysterious silence bit?! Are you drunk or something? You are, aren’t you?!” 

No, I’m sober. 

I don’t know why, but lately I feel like I can talk to the Demon Lord without getting nervous. 

I mean, she did take in a part of me when she absorbed my former body brain, and bloodline-wise she’s basically my grandmother, so we’re definitely related in one way or another. It’s not that weird to be able to talk to your relatives, okay?! 

Although I guess the biggest reason is my own recent change of heart. 

But the Demon Lord doesn’t know about that, so I guess she’s freaked out that I’m blabbering away all of a sudden. 

“C’mon! Forget about those minor details.” 

“‘Minor’?!” 

“We need to go threa… I mean, ahem. Negotiate with the pontiff.” 

“You were definitely about to say threaten, weren’t you?! Hello?!” 

“Oh, but first I need to ask Mera to go crush that border tribe.” 

“Damn, girl! You don’t listen to anyone, do you?! How crazy can you get?! Not that this is news to me! But still!” 

Ignoring the Demon Lord’s little tantrum, I get her to summon Mera and have her explain the situation to him. 

Huh? Why didn’t I explain it myself? 

Oh, uh, y’know, I have a fake-mysterious silence thing to uphold…stuff like that… 

Anyway, once the Demon Lord reluctantly explains things to Mera, he agrees right away to massacre the tribe. 

If he had hesitated at all, I would’ve taken care of it myself without pressuring him, but apparently, it won’t be a problem. 

He seems worried about whether or not he can do it on his own, but that’s just silly. 

Like the Demon Lord says, he tends to sell himself short. 

Has he forgotten that even after having his Wrath skill sealed, our Mr. Oni mowed down the rebel army without breaking a sweat? 

Well, at any rate, I guess we can consider the border problem solved. 

It seems like Mera’s figured some things out for himself and overcome various doubts, so I’m sure I can count on him. 

That just leaves the Demon Lord and me about to go on our merry way. 

For our surprise attack on the Word of God pontiff. 

So yeah, here we are. 

The pontiff’s office in the Word of God headquarters, the so-called Holy Kingdom of Alleius or whatever. 

I brought the Demon Lord along and teleported in without an appointment. 

Which I guess is probably why the secretary-type people in the room are frozen in fear and these secret service–looking guys whose faces are hidden by cloth have appeared out of nowhere, pointing their weapons at us. 

“Stop!” 

But just as they look like they’re going to charge at us, the pontiff calls them off. 

“You’re no match for these two, even if you attack en masse. Stand down.” 

Ooh. Very imposing. 

I haven’t had much chance to interact with this pontiff guy, but I always thought he was more the type to smile cheerfully while scheming like mad behind the scenes. 

Seems like he can drop the good-natured act for moments like this. 

“Well? What might I do for you today, Lady Ariel?” 

Next thing you know, though, that imposing aura disappears, and he’s back to looking like a gentle, friendly old man. 

Talk about scary! 

Nobody should be able to switch gears that fast. 

This old guy’s terrifying in a whole different way from the Demon Lord. 

He’s basically powerless in battle, but he’s still got this undeniable presence. 

“Oh, no need to be so guarded. We’re just here for some peaceful negotiations, honest. I’m not planning on fighting anyone.” 

“Then please at least come in through the front door in the future. It’s not good for my heart, having you appear out of nowhere with no prior warning.” 

“You say that, but if we tried to come through the front, I’m sure we’d be turned away at best.” 

“Ha. I suppose so. Being the pontiff is convenient, but it can also be constricting.” 

The exchange between the Demon Lord and the pontiff seems weirdly laid-back. 

Maybe they understand each other well after knowing each other for so many years. 

“Well, let’s not stand around talking here. How about a little change of scenery?” 

The pontiff waves off the still-tense secret service guys, prompting them to back off. 

They disappear with a little poof, just like ninjas. 

Damn, that’s cool! 

Except that I can still see their every move with my special spider eyes. 

“Please, right this way.” 

The pontiff leads us to a fancy drawing room. 

Somehow, there are already servants inside with tea and snacks. I guess one of the not-ninja guys must have given them a heads-up. 

His subordinates do what he wants without him even needing to ask. 

What amazingly well-trained staff! 

The Demon Lord’s people are, well, demons, so they’re all over the place. And the puppet spiders have such bizarre personalities that they’re not exactly model servants. This guy’s got it made! 

But then again, the pontiff and the Demon Lord are pretty far apart in terms of actual strength, so it makes sense that you’d give the poor guy some kind of handicap in the form of reliable servants. 

I’m already imagining the eldest puppet-spider sister vehemently objecting to this train of thought, but I’m sure it’s all in my mind. 

“Now then, might I ask why you’re here?” 

The pontiff sits down on a sofa. 

Oh man, this thing’s soft enough to suck you right in! 

Hmph, but it’s still not as good as my thread! 

“We were hoping you could lend us a hand with two minor difficulties.” 

The Demon Lord glances at me, makes a face like Nope, she can’t do it, and starts negotiating herself. 

Um, rude? 

I know she’s right, but still! STILL! 

Couldn’t she at least have the decency to not let it show on her face? 

“‘Difficulties,’ you say?” 

“Yep, that’s right. Just a couple of minor incidents that we can’t quite take care of on our own.” 

“I see.” 

“Knowing how quickly information reaches you, you might already know this, but we had just a tiny bit of trouble in the demon territory recently. That’s all taken care of now, but there were actually some elves on the enemy side.” 

“Oh?” 

“Well, White here crushed most of them, so it wasn’t a huge issue. But this is where it gets a little complicated. One of the elves was a reincarnation.” 

Wait, huh? 

The Demon Lord just casually dropped the word reincarnation. 

“Well, well. That certainly is troublesome.” 

And the pontiff is acting like he knows exactly what she’s talking about. 

Um. Okay. 

The pontiff already sniffed out the existence of reincarnations, apparently. 

And the Demon Lord must’ve just assumed he would have that figured out already. 

And then the pontiff assumed that she would assume that, so instead of getting hung up on that or trying to squeeze each other for more info, they’re just…continuing the conversation? 

Well, I’ll be damned. 

“Yeah, an elf reincarnation is already a problem in and of itself, but to make things worse, this one has a skill that can provide basic information on all the other reincarnations.” 

“I see. Damn that Potimas. No wonder he seemed so quick to act.” 

“Knowing you, I’m sure you’re already taking steps to counter Potimas, but as long as he’s got this particular reincarnation on his side, he’s always going to be a step ahead in that department.” 

“So you’re saying we have to do something about the reincarnation in question?” 

A steely glint flashes in the pontiff’s eyes. 

“Unfortunately, that’s where things get even more complicated. That elf reincarnation is actually in the demon realm right now, trying to escape into human lands. And I want you to let her get back to Potimas safely.” 

At that, the pontiff sinks into a dubious silence. 

He lowers his gaze, thinking for a moment. 

“And what is the purpose of that exactly?” 

Clearly failing to discern a decent explanation himself, he looks up again. 

“See, this elf reincarnation saved White’s life. We want to rescue her if we can. But Potimas has already infected her, filthy parasite that he is. So we can’t lay a hand on her right now, which is why we have to let her go back to Potimas.” 

The Demon Lord truthfully explains the reason. 

At that, the pontiff starts thinking again. 

Um, is being honest really the best option here? 

My motivation for wanting to save Ms. Oka is super-personal, so I doubt it makes any difference to the pontiff. 

From what I’ve heard about this guy, I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided Ms. Oka had to be killed for the sake of humanity. 

In fact, that glint in his eye a minute ago is proof enough of that. 

“And in exchange, you will defeat the elves, correct?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

Huh? 

Um, whaaat? 

Back up a sec. Where did that conclusion come from? 

And why is the Demon Lord just agreeing like it’s no big deal? 

Someone clue me in here, pleeease! 

“And you have a plan for how to bring Potimas down?” 

“I wouldn’t be offering this deal if I didn’t.” 

I am so out of the loop right now. 

“…Very well. I shall make arrangements to keep anyone from laying a hand on these elves by using the empire branch of the Word of God. I’m sure Potimas will collect them on his own from there.” 

“Thanks a bunch.” 

“But you must make good on your word to defeat the elves.” 

“Of course. I figure it might be about time to put an end to that particular grudge once and for all.” 

Looks like the negotiations are wrapping up while I’m still totally lost at sea. 

“As for the other difficulty, this one’s pretty much just icing on the cake, it’s so easy. Y’know the clans that live on the border between the demon and human territories? Well, turns out there are two reincarnations there, too. We’re gonna have to wipe out their clan to let the elves get through, see. But we’ll let the two reincarnations get away, so would you mind taking care of them on your end?” 

“What about that is easy? …Hrmmm. Well, all right. I’ll let the local church know about that as well.” 

“Thanks. You can do whatever you want with those two reincarnations, by the way. Raise ’em as knights to fight demons, use ’em as bait for the elves, whatever. Anything’s fine by us.” 

Uh, wait a minute. “Fine by us”? 

That’s a pretty bold claim, Miss Demon Lord. 

Sure doesn’t sound fine to me… 

Hrmmm. We are the ones who are gonna wipe out their whole clan, so we don’t really have a leg to stand on if we start making demands about how they’re treated. 

“Hmm. I suppose that will do as a reward in itself, then. This certainly is troublesome, but it’s not without benefits for our side, either.” 

“Great. We’re counting on ya, then.” 

“Yes, I understand.” 

“I’ll probably come by again in the future to consult with you about the whole elf thing. We’ve got a lot of preparations to finalize first, so try to be patient, yeah?” 

“I’m looking forward to it.” 

Oh. Sounds like we’re done here. 

What? I didn’t contribute at all, you say? 

How rude! I enjoyed my fair share of snacks and tea, I’ll have you know! 

Negotiations? Never heard of ’em. 

“Well, we don’t wanna overstay our welcome, so we’ll be on our way.” 

“Very well. I hope you’ll bring good news next time you pay me a visit.” 

Once we’ve exchanged farewells, the Demon Lord gives me the signal to teleport us back. 

Then, in the blink of an eye, we’re back at the castle. 

“Kinda seems like we got stuck with the job of beating the elves. What’s going on?” 

“Beats me, dammit!” 

The Demon Lord responds to my cautious question with a shout. 

Um, what? 

“Uuugh! How did that happen?! WHY did that happen?!” 

The Demon Lord throws up her hands in frustration. 

Whaaat? But she agreed to it so naturally. 

Or was she just keeping up a poker face because she had no idea what was going on? 

“He’s always been like this, the bastard! He thinks so many moves ahead that he’s already decided what I’m gonna do before I’ve even figured it out myself! Quit reading so far into things, stupid!” 

The Demon Lord seems to be throwing a tantrum. 

Seems this isn’t the first time something like this has happened between them. 

“I mean, not that I have a real problem with defeating the elves. Really, I’d love to bring those guys down if I can.” 

Heaving a sigh and calming a little, the Demon Lord slumps into a nearby seat. 

“The problem is, now that I talked such a big game, I gotta actually come up with a plan to beat them. I’m counting on ya, White.” 

“Who, me?!” 

“Yes, you! It’s your fault we wound up in this position in the first place, so take responsibility and figure it out! Got it?” 

O-oh. 

I guess I can’t argue with that. 

“Hmm. Ahhh. Okay, I get it. Saving Ms. Oka is what led to the idea of defeating the elves.” 

“What do you mean?” 

The Demon Lord appears to have figured out how the pontiff reached the conclusion that we were volunteering to defeat the elves. 

“Well, Potimas has infected Ms. Oka.” 

Right. 

Potimas has the ability to take control of other people’s bodies. 

The victims lose their own free will for life, and Potimas gets to use them however he pleases. 

But he can’t do it to just anyone. Only people who satisfy certain conditions are susceptible. 

And apparently, Ms. Oka satisfies those conditions. 

You wouldn’t believe how shocked I was when I saw it for myself. 

I mean, Potimas’s nasty feelers are wrapped around Ms. Oka’s soul. 

The Demon Lord keeps using the word infected, and I think that fits perfectly. It has a viscerally gross sort of ring to it, y’know? 

Yeah, seeing the way Potimas’s creepy invisible tentacles are wrapped around Ms. Oka’s soul thanks to his weird ability definitely made me want to puke. 

Although I guess it’s only because I’ve become a god and can somehow see people’s souls. 

“The only way to release her from that is to kill Potimas. And killing Potimas basically means defeating the elves. That’s why he mistakenly assumed that we were preparing to do exactly that.” 

Ahhh. 

I get it. 

It does kinda make sense now that I think about it. 

I was only really thinking about how to muddle through the present situation, but if you think about it in the long-term, the only way to truly save Ms. Oka is to kill Potimas once and for all. 

That must be what the pontiff assumed we meant when we said we were going to save her. 

“Ughhh. If he refused, I was ready to resort to threats, but I’m not even sure who threatened who anymore. We’ve gotta figure out a way to defeat the damn elves just to hold up our end of the bargain now.” Leaning back against the chair lazily, the Demon Lord grumbles. 

“But I guess that’s one way to settle things. Yeah. Let’s do it.” I decided to light a fire under the Demon Lord’s butt. 

If she’s truly worried about the fate of this world, she would’ve had to beat Potimas sooner or later. 

And if we want to save Ms. Oka, again, we have to kill him. 

So what’s the problem? 

Sure, I know it’s not gonna be easy. 

But if we can save Ms. Oka and beat the Demon Lord’s sworn enemy, that’s two birds with one stone. If anything, there’s no reason NOT to kill him. 

Besides, with everything he’s done, I’m seriously pissed off. It’s personal now. 

“We’re going to crush Potimas.” 

It’s important to declare your intent out loud. 

The Demon Lord actually shivers. Oops, I guess I let my anger show a little. 

“Not right away, though.” 

“R-right.” 

I’m a spider, after all. 

When I’m stalking my prey, I always perfectly lay my traps before I go in for the kill. 

Which means we’ve gotta start by gathering more information. 

…I better hurry up and power up my clones already.