Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 12 - Chapter 1.12

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Hawkin

“Hawkin. You should sit this one out.”

It’s the night before the big battle when my boss, Jeskan, drops this on me.

“Can I ask why ya say that?”

“…You know the answer better than anyone, yeah?”

Can’t say nothin’ to that, I guess.

Yeah, I know why.

It’s ’cause I’m the weakest member of the hero’s party…

The five-person party consists of our leader, Julius the hero; his childhood friend Hyrince; Yaana the saint; plus the boss and me.

As the hero, Julius is top-notch in both magic and swordsmanship.

Hyrince is his shield bearer, a dependable tank who protects the team from most damage.

Our all-rounder magic user, Yaana the saint, ain’t just limited to Healing Magic—she can also dish out magic attacks and other support.

Boss Jeskan is an expert in all kinds of weapons, the best attacker after Julius.

By comparison, I’m more of a behind-the-scenes guy, so I’m not much use in battle.

My job is to keep the party running smoothly: sorting through requests and negotiating rewards, keeping our supplies stocked, travel-related paperwork, maintaining relations with the different countries, that sorta stuff.

Basically, everything that ain’t about fighting.

Of course, I do support the team in battle with my throwing knives and magic items and all that.

But I know better’n anyone that I ain’t nearly as strong as the rest of our crew.

Everyone else is a world-class expert in whatever they specialize in, but me? I’d prolly lose in a fistfight with the average soldier, tell ya what.

All I really do in battle is give whatever support I can and use every last trick up my sleeve to keep things runnin’ smoothly.

“Tomorrow’s battle is likely going to devolve into chaos. And if it does, I won’t be able to protect you.”

Basically, the boss is trying to flat-out bench me.

I know he’s doin’ it for my own good, ’course.

But still, can ya blame me if it stings a little to hear it out loud?

We’re at war with the demons.

This ain’t like anything the hero’s party’s faced before.

So far, we’ve mostly just fought some real strong monsters.

Usually, one big monster against the five of us.

Since we normally have the upper hand in numbers, that means it’s a sight less likely that the monster’s gonna target me.

Even if it did, Hyrince would always cover for me, so I hardly ever end up in danger.

But this battle’s gonna be against a big ol’ demon army. Like the boss says, good chance it’s gonna be a mess, so even Hyrince ain’t gonna be able to protect everyone.

In other words, I’ll have to fend for myself, but even I’ll admit that’s a tall order for li’l old me.

“I don’t suppose I can change yer mind?”

“……”

The boss gets even frownier than usual and crosses his arms, thinking for a minute.

“…Obviously, the person in our party who needs to survive more than anyone is Julius the hero. But other than him, I think the life that’s most important to preserve is yours, Hawkin.”

“?!”

Now, that I wasn’t expecting.

“I’m a top-class warrior. Hyrince is blessed with quick wits. Our dear Yaana was chosen out of all the other sainthood candidates. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be replaced.”

“Now, hang on a minute, boss. You can’t mean that.”

“Oh, but I do.” The boss takes a long drink. “I’m an A-rank adventurer. There are S-rank adventurers way above me.”

“But you got to A rank solo, didn’cha?”

An adventurer’s strength ain’t all about rank.

Some folks prove their worth in a party to raise their rank; others do it with achievements outside of battle.

The boss made his way up to A rank all on his own.

There’s a huge difference between someone getting A rank in a party and getting it all on their lonesome. A solo A-rank adventurer like my boss here is more than strong enough for S rank.

If he was to join a proper party somewhere, he’d hit S rank in no time flat, no doubt about it.

He joined the hero’s party before that happened, though, so he’s considered one of the hero’s followers by society, not an adventurer.

’Course, that means what he does in our party don’t count toward his adventurer standing, so he’s still A rank.

“That’s true. I’m probably strong enough for S rank myself.”

No more than a handful of near-legendary adventurers ever make it to S rank.

It’s a height that only the most gifted adventurers can reach.

“But that’s all. There are other S-rank adventurers out there. Meaning there are other warriors as strong as me or stronger.”

And yet, here’s my boss saying that achievement is hardly worth squat.

“Same for Hyrince and even Miss Yaana. There are any number of other candidates for sainthood.”

“But, boss…”

“Of course, we’ve got a lot of experience fighting alongside Julius. We work well together. Even someone of around the same strength as one of us wouldn’t be able to swap in that easily. But that’d still just be a matter of time.”

The boss tilts his glass for another gulp of liquor.

“We’re not truly irreplaceable,” he concludes self-deprecatingly.

“But don’t that mean I’m the most easily replaceable of all…?”

The boss just said other S-rank-level fighters could replace him, but we’re still talkin’ about a top-notch bunch of elite warriors.

Sure, there are other folks around as strong as he is, but that doesn’t mean they’d jump at the chance to sign up with the hero.

A lot of adventurers have their own tight-knit parties or work for a specific country.

It wouldn’t be that easy to get one to change jobs.

On the other hand, the stuff I do isn’t really much more than plain ol’ boring chores. No need for any kind of special talent, so just about anyone could do it.

Without a doubt, I’d be the easiest one to replace in the party.

“Nope. It’s the opposite. After Julius, you’d be the toughest to replace.”

“You don’t need to try and make me feel better, boss.”

“I’m not, you idiot. Just listen.” He pours some booze into my cup. “You know Julius isn’t replaceable, right? Why’s that?”

“Well, ’cause he’s the hero, of course.”

“Exactly.”

The boss nods like that’s obvious, which it is.

“But that’s not the only reason. It’s also because he’s Julius.”

“’Cause Julius is Julius…?”

I stare at the boss blankly. If this is a riddle, I don’t get it.

“If the hero dies, the next hero will be chosen right away. But it’ll be someone else, not Julius. So there’s another hero if this one dies, but there sure won’t be another Julius.”

“Well, yeah, I suppose so.”

“Now, this is just hypothetical, so don’t get mad, hear? But if Julius died, and you were told to serve the next hero instead, would you say yes?”

“Hrm…”

That’s a tough one.

I’m serving the hero because he’s Julius, so if I had to switch over to some new hero I’ve never met before, I imagine I’d have a hard time accepting that right away.

“Exactly. It’s because he’s Julius.” Then the boss continues: “And it’s the same for you.”

“Uh-huh…”

“You don’t exactly sound convinced.” The boss shakes his head, drains the rest of his cup, and pours himself another round.

“Hyrince, Miss Yaana, and I are all more or less tools. I’m a weapon, Hyrince is a shield, and Miss Yaana’s a potion.”

“Ain’t that a little harsh?”

“Well, it is an extreme comparison. But as I said, we can all be replaced. But just like Julius, there’s no replacement for you ’cause you work behind the scenes, and you have connections to all kinds of people.”

It is true that I have quite a few.

I manage the party’s requests, negotiate with the adventurers’ guild, the Church, and more, not to mention chatting it up with the nobles and royalty of wherever we travel to fulfill those quests.

And when I’m managing our supplies and equipment, I get a chance to rub shoulders with not only many merchants, but also some of the other folks on the shadier side who I can’t go into detail about.

I might be my boss’s slave, but folks ain’t usually rude to me, since I act under the hero’s authority and all that.

Julius is real friendly, so sometimes he handles it himself, but in terms of practical experience, I think I got the most business relationships of any of us.

“But what’s that got to do with anythin’?”

“There’s plenty of other folks who can fight as well as we can. But relationships are built up over many years atop hard-earned trust. Even if we put that aside, it isn’t easy to learn how to negotiate and communicate with others well.”

“I suppose not.”

I might not be a big shot, but I have been working behind the scenes of the hero’s party for many years.

Even if they put out a call for someone else to do my job, I guess it wouldn’t be easy to pick up where I left off right away.

“We just have to go to the battlefield and fight, but you’re the one who takes care of everything that comes before and after. And it’s only because you do those things for us that we can focus on fighting. Without a doubt, you’re the one who keeps our party going.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that.”

It really is reassuring to hear.

As far as word on the street goes, I’m the only member of the hero’s party who doesn’t stand out.

Julius is real popular, and Hyrince is a hit with the ladies, since he’s got stupidly good looks.

Miss Yaana’s earnestness, dedication, and friendliness make her well-liked, too.

And lots of older ladies tend to be fans of my boss.

Meanwhile, all people think when it comes to me is that item guy, the guy who just throws knives, and even oh yeah, I forgot about that guy…

Hrmmm? Ain’t that funny. Feels like there’re tears in my eyes…

I know perfectly well that my job in the party ain’t fancy or exciting, but I gotta admit it does sting a little to be so unpopular.

It wouldn’t be so bad on its own, but some folks even say nasty things about me…

Once in a while, I’ll hear things like “How’d that guy get into the hero’s party when he’s just a slave?”

Believe me, I feel out of place enough as it is sometimes.

Everyone else supporting the hero is amazing: Hyrince is a duke’s son and Julius’s childhood friend, Miss Yaana’s the saint, and my boss is a skilled adventurer who got to A rank all on his lonesome.

Since I’m the only member who ain’t anything special, people are bound to scoff at me from time to time.

That’s why it means so much to me that somebody values my work.

“I know very well that every good relationship we’ve got is thanks to your hard work. Be proud.”

“Sure, I’d like to do that, but I got no reason…”

I don’t got anything to be proud of, really.

I don’t have high social status like Hyrince—in fact, I’m a slave.

I wasn’t chosen out of a whole lotta other candidates like Yaana.

And I can’t shut people up with sheer strength like my boss.

There ain’t a single impressive thing about me.

“No reason? That’s rich coming from the Thief with a Thousand Knives.”

“Please don’t call me that…”

That was my old nickname.

“Why not? In a way, you might be more famous than any of us.”

The boss grins at me.

I guess it’s true that lots of people’ve heard of the old Thief with a Thousand Knives.

That’s what I was called before I became the boss’s slave.

At the time, I went around stealing from corrupt nobles and merchants and the like. Then I’d sell off the goods and use that cash to anonymously buy food for orphanages and stuff like that.

Those stories got real popular with ordinary folk, and eventually there were even plays and minstrel songs about me.

From there, the story of the Thief with a Thousand Knives spread far and wide, which is how a lowly bandit like me became famous.

On the one hand, I wound up meeting some huge fans who helped me during my thieving days ’cause of that, but then again, there were people who didn’t take so kindly to my fame…

Turns out, being famous ain’t all sunshine and roses.

Once word about me spread, it got harder and harder to move around without being noticed, and in the end, I got caught while trying to investigate some nasty group of human traffickers.

They sold me as a slave, the boss bought me, and now here we are.

“Oh, I was young and foolish back then, y’know?”

At this point, the Thief with a Thousand Knives name is more embarrassing than anything.

“Whatever you say—all I was doing was thievin’, really.”

“Well, I think it was admirable. Many a nasty noble and merchant had their evil deeds exposed because you robbed them, and they were judged accordingly. And there are plenty of orphans who were saved by your donations, too.”

“I am pleased about that, I suppose.”

“Then why not take pride in it?”

I smile wearily at the boss’s encouragement.

“Just hard to be proud when I look at Julius.”

The boss doesn’t have any immediate response to that, so I continue.

“Julius is amazing, ain’t he?”

There are many words for praising a person, but there’s no point being fancy about it.

When I see Julius at work, all I can think is that he’s amazing.

“Watchin’ that kid go at it, I always think, so that’s what a hero’s supposed to be.”

“True.”

The boss nods in agreement. Nobody’s as worthy of the word hero as Julius.

He pursues what he thinks is right, no matter what.

Even more incredible is that he’s been doing that since he was just a kid.

“Compared to what Julius has done, all my deeds really amount to is runnin’ away.”

I didn’t have the guts to face evil head-on, so I used the less proper path of thievery to avoid a straight-up fight.

I don’t regret what I did, but I’m sure Julius would never do anything as cowardly as stealing. He always chooses to fight evil directly.

No matter how hard it’ll be.

When I think about that, I get to feelin’ embarrassed about how I’ve lived my life.

If I fought evil by stealin’, don’t that make me a hypocrite?

Seeing the real thing in Julius just makes me feel like that much more of a fake.

“I see.” The boss nods, like he gets where I’m coming from. “Well, I won’t deny your logic. But I can’t say I agree entirely, either. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, hmm? Julius is powerful enough to right wrongs directly. You weren’t, so you did the best you could with what strength you do have. What’s wrong with that?”

“I guess you could put it that way.”

Julius is a royal and the hero.

I was just a plain old thief.

That puts us in real different positions when it comes to taking on corrupt nobles.

I could’ve yelled about injustice till I was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t have made a lick of difference to the folks in power.

And if I tried to take those nobles on without any tricks or a plan, you can bet I would’ve been torn to shreds.

“Well, that just goes to show how young and stupid I was, not to mention weak.”

Even if I couldn’t fight, there must’ve been other things I could’ve done besides stealing.

Now that I’m working behind the scenes of the hero’s party, those options have only become even clearer.

I don’t have the power to take on corrupt merchants and nobles myself, but I could’ve convinced someone else to do it.

But such a simple thing never occurred to me, so I just went on thieving.

Even if I was doing it for the right reasons, stealing is a crime.

The fact that it might’ve helped some folks doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong.

“Oh, you’re so stubborn.”

My boss heaves a sigh.

“’Fraid I was born that way.”

“Heh.” Still shaking his head, he smiles a little. “Ah, we’ve gotten off topic. Oh dear.”

“…Sure you’re not just woozy from drinkin’ too much?”

We’ve got a big battle tomorrow, but the boss has been downing a whole lot in front of me.

“Bah, you fool! How can I go into battle without drinking first?!”

“Won’t getting drunk affect your ability to fight?”

“I’m not so weak that I’d get drunk on this much liquor.”

I dunno if that’s something to brag about so confidently…

“Drink I shall, no matter what anyone says. Every drink could be my last.”

“Boss, that’s…”

“Those of us who fight for a living must accept that truth. You understand, hmm?”

“…I suppose.”

Since I’m a member of the hero’s party, I do go into battle, too.

Being weaker than the others, I’ve definitely had my fair share of brushes with death.

I always knew that if I kept this up, I was gonna die one of these days.

If I feel that way when I’m usually supporting them from the back as much as I can, I’m sure folks like my boss who’re fighting on the front lines are even more aware of death all the time.

“I’m not even sure if Julius will make it back alive, never mind me. But Julius needs those connections of yours. And in the worst-case scenario, if Julius dies, you’ll be a huge help to the next hero.”

So that’s why the boss wants me to stay behind.

But…

“I’m still comin’ with you, boss.”

“…No matter what I say, eh?”

“No matter what.”

The boss shakes his head again and drains the rest of his drink in one gulp.

“Thought you might say that.”

“Sorry, boss.”

Even if it’s only a formality, I’m technically a slave disobeying his master’s orders, but I can’t back down on this one.

I got my pride as a member of the hero’s party, too.

I can’t be the only one to run with my tail between my legs.

As part of the hero’s party, I already resolved long ago to go into battle no matter how harsh it might be.

“I really am happy to hear ya say I’m that important, boss. But any strength I got is all for Julius. I might not be Hyrince, but I still can’t go lettin’ Julius die before me. We’re here because of Julius, every one of us.”

The boss was trying to say that if something happened to Julius, I should lend my strength to the new hero, but I dunno if it’d go so smoothly.

Lots of us are only pitching in because Julius is who he is, and I’m no exception.

I dunno who the next hero might be, but it’d be a tall order for me to throw in my lot with them right from the start.

So my best bet is to do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen in the first place.

That Julius doesn’t die.

Even if it means that I die in the process.

“So stubborn.”

“Yep, I was born that way.”

Repeating the same exchange we had just moments before, we both end up grinning.

The boss doesn’t try to talk me out of it after that.

I’m sure he knew from the start that I wasn’t gonna agree to stay behind.

He only brought it up anyway to let me know that I had the option.

Honestly, a master ain’t supposed to be that thoughtful with a slave.

Although that sorta thing is exactly why I don’t mind bein’ a slave if this guy’s my master.

“Boss.”

“Hrm?”

“Thank ya kindly.”

“Uh-oh. Cut it out, will you? That sorta thing is bad luck to say before a battle.”

Since thanking folks specially and stuff like that the day before a battle makes it seem like you don’t expect to survive, it’s seen as bad luck by most.

But I still felt like I had to say it.

“Boss. If I start to hold you back out there, please don’t hesitate to toss me aside.”

“Now, look here—”

“My role is to make sure the hero’s party can fight without any worries, ain’t it? Then it ain’t right if I slow you down instead, eh?”

“…”

“So focus on the fight, not on me. And most of all, make sure Julius is safe.”

“…Got it.” The boss closes his eyes, crosses his arms, and reluctantly nods. “Guess we better get some rest, then.”

The boss has finished the last of his bottle, and the food’s all gone, too.

It’s getting late, so now’s the time when we should retire and start saving our strength for the battle.

“Suppose so.”

“Hawkin.”

As my boss stands up, he utters my name.