L5 The Lord Looks On
“Thanks sooo much for your support, everyone!”
A familiar voice came from the television.
The male idol on the screen was one of the chimeras from this orphanage.
He happened to have a normal human appearance.
No, not entirely normal, I suppose—he was incredibly good-looking.
So he used those looks as an asset to get into the entertainment industry.
Here in the orphanage, a girl scowled at the boy on the screen.
They had a bitter breakup when he left to become an idol.
He insisted he wanted to get into entertainment, and she accused him of abandoning the orphanage.
Unlike him, this girl’s appearance was far from human.
The dragon genes she’d been made with were particularly strong, to the point where she essentially looked like a humanoid dragon.
That appearance made it virtually impossible for her to join human society; the orphanage was the only place she belonged.
I think that’s why she had a hard time accepting any of our brethren who left the orphanage.
At the time, more and more of the other kids were leaving the orphanage, not just the boy who went into the entertainment industry.
Although aside from him, the others tended to come back frequently, so it was more like they were spending nights away from home.
By this time, we were old enough to do such things.
Unfortunately, I had stopped growing several years ago, and looked younger than my actual age. My body just couldn’t get enough nutrition to grow.
It made little difference to me anyway, since I couldn’t be out of my wheelchair for long.
Maybe I was a little jealous of the others who could grow normally, but I would never admit it.
Everyone else looked their age, and since some of them looked human or at least very close to it, they started setting out into the world more proactively.
There were even a handful of kids who were visibly inhuman at a glance, like those two rowdy boys, but still decided to go out into the world—not many, but there were a few.
The one thing they all had in common was that they felt they couldn’t just keep depending on the orphanage forever.
They started striking out on their own, trying to become more independent, little by little.
The ones who stayed in the orphanage were kids with nowhere else to go, like me.
I returned my gaze from the television back to the object in my hands: a handkerchief I was embroidering.
It was a hobby I picked up when looking for something I could do even though I couldn’t go outside.
I suppose it was one of the only things I could do.
But by doing embroidery, and occasionally other crafts like crocheting stuffed animals, I was able to sell some of my creations and earn a little money—only a very small amount, though.
While everyone else was trying to stand on their own, I felt lonely, as if I were being left behind.
“I’m home.”
Just then, a young man wearing an eye mask returned to the orphanage.
“Welcome back.”
“Welcome.”
“Thanks. Ah, he’s on TV, huh?”
He must have heard the voice from the television and recognized the boy who’d become an idol.
“Guess he’s working hard.”
“Who knows? I heard he might be sleeping his way to the top.”
There were rumors that some entertainers, mostly female but some male, sold their bodies to get jobs, or so I was told.
It was an urban legend of sorts, however; I have no idea if that actually occurred.
“Nah, I’m sure he’s got better judgment than that.”
“Doubt it.”
“****, that’s too far.”
“You’re defending him, Ariel?”
“Sure. **** is doing this for our sake, too.”
The idol boy donated the majority of his earnings to this orphanage in order to support kids like me who couldn’t leave.
Specifically, I think he was doing it for the girl who was now complaining about him.
As far as I could tell, the two of them were mutually in love.
“…Well, I never asked for that.”
“…I really think you should try to talk things over with him.”
These two seemed to be growing further apart because they didn’t fully understand each other, which was why I gave that advice.
But she stubbornly refused to make the first move.
“Maybe if he contacts me first. I mean, he hardly ever comes back to visit.”
…In the end, they were never able to make amends.
I was embroidering alone in silence.
This one was meant to be given as a gift, not sold.
“I’m home.”
“Welcome back.”
The boy in the eye mask came back, just like before.
As it happened, the embroidery I was working on was a handkerchief for that boy.
He was blind, so he wouldn’t be able to tell what the picture was from ordinary embroidery.
Thus, I was embroidering this one with extra bumps, trying to make it uneven enough that he would be able to identify the image by touch.
In this case, I was embroidering a flower.
And it wasn’t just him: I was making handkerchiefs for all the kids from the orphanage.
I hadn’t given away any yet; I planned to give them out to everyone all at once when they were all completed.
But I wanted them to have proof that I existed.
As a memento to remember me by.
My health wasn’t getting any better, not by a long shot.
When I was first taken in by the orphanage, it improved very slightly because of the better living conditions.
But ever since then, it had remained the same.
No matter how hard I tried, the distance I could walk without my wheelchair never grew.
If anything, as time passed, it only got shorter.
I was sure I didn’t have much longer to live.
I could just feel it.
So I wanted to leave everyone with a physical object, so they wouldn’t forget me.
“…Think you’ll finish?”
“Uh-huh. I should manage to be done in time.”
I hadn’t told anyone that I was going to give the handkerchiefs I was embroidering to everyone as gifts.
But the boy with the eye mask was something of a leader in the orphanage, and even though he couldn’t see, he kept close watch over all of us.
Because of that, I think he had figured out more or less what I was trying to do.
My health was stable at the time, but if I caught a cold during the changing of the seasons or something like that, there was no telling what might happen.
For all I knew, I could drop dead at any moment.
So I wanted to finish the presents as soon as I could, and give them out to everyone.
But I didn’t want to give them something shoddy because I was rushing too much, either.
I made each one with care, thinking of the recipient as I worked.
I wanted my feelings to sink into every stitch.
As everyone started to become independent, I felt like I was being left behind.
But I was sure that in the end, I would be the one to leave them behind instead.
I did manage to finish those handkerchiefs and give them to everyone.
But ultimately, I was still the one who got left behind.
“Is Sariel here?”
That day, Gülie came to the orphanage.
He visited from time to time.
From my point of view, around the time when the orphanage first opened, I don’t believe he was particularly conscious of Lady Sariel.
But the more they saw of each other, the more interested he became.
That’s how it looked to me, anyway.
There wasn’t any sudden, dramatic development or anything.
But if you build up enough ordinary, casual exchanges, eventually that can develop into love.
I lived in a very small, sheltered world, myself, but I still felt impressed that love could work in such a way.
“Lady Sariel is out right now.”
“…I see.”
Looking obviously disappointed, Gülie handed me the gift of confections he’d brought.
As usual, it was a variety of soft gelatin desserts, perhaps out of consideration for my diet.
If only he could have been as considerate toward Lady Sariel, but alas, this man always managed to fumble where it mattered most and ended up failing in his efforts to impress her.
“…If you want to see her so badly, you should really show how happy you are when you do get to meet.”
“…It is not like that.”
In spite of his claims, everyone at the orphanage knew how Gülie felt by now.
“You’ll never get through to Lady Sariel with that attitude. She’s tragically dense enough about this kind of thing as it is.”
“…I told you, it is not like that.”
I shook my head and heaved a dramatic sigh.
“Hrm? Embroidery, eh?”
“Uh-huh.”
Gülie appeared to be trying to change the subject, and landed on the project in my hands.
“Should I make one for you too, Gülie?”
I made the suggestion without really thinking.
Since I could never leave the orphanage, Gülie’s frequent visits made him quite possibly my closest friend from the outside world.
So I thought it might be nice to leave him with a handkerchief, too.
“You ought to make one for Sariel before you bother making one for me.”
“Of course. I already have.”
Lady Sariel’s handkerchief was the very first one I made.
“Well, then, if you feel so inclined at some point, I would appreciate it.”
Gülie smiled softly and patted my head.
“But do not push yourself, all right?”
“…You should really show that kindness toward Lady Sariel.”
“…I keep telling you, it is nothing like that.”
“Hello, I have returned.”
Just then, Lady Sariel happened to come in.
“S-Sariel?!”
“Yes. Gülie. Welcome.”
“D-Did you hear our conversation just now?”
“No. I do not eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.”
“I-I see.”
Gülie was very clearly relieved.
But knowing Lady Sariel, even if she had overheard, she wouldn’t have figured out Gülie’s feelings anyway…
“So, what business brings you here, Gülie?”
“Nothing. Just ensuring that everyone is in good health.”
Gülie glanced in my direction as he spoke.
Why would he try to steer the subject toward me?
Now Lady Sariel was going to assume that he came to check up on me.
He should have just admitted that he came to see her…
It was incredibly frustrating watching Gülie bumble around like this.
But since Gülie and Lady Sariel were a dragon and an angel respectively, beings with all the time in the world, perhaps there was no need to rush.
Since I later became a similar being myself, I suppose I understand that feeling a little.
Still, there are times when you should really act while you have the chance, or you might come to regret it later.
Even now, I think Gülie should have tried to woo Lady Sariel more directly.
I have no way of knowing if she would have reciprocated, but either way, I am sure Gülie wouldn’t regret things as much as he does now.
Because he’ll never have another chance to woo Lady Sariel now.
…That reminds me, I never ended up making Gülie a handkerchief.
I wanted to finish them for everyone in the orphanage first, leaving his for later.
And in the end, I just barely managed to complete the gifts for them just in time.
…Right before the day when we would have to be separated from Lady Sariel.
After that, the system was created, and the world plunged into chaos.
With so much going on, I forgot all about making a handkerchief for Gülie.
…I know.
Once this is all over, when I have time, I’ll make Gülie’s handkerchief.
Yes, this time for sure…
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