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Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 8 - Chapter 1




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The Ogre’s Wail

“U…urgh…aaagh…” 

The cry echoed in the quiet night. 

Other animals fell silent at once, as if out of fear of whatever was producing the noise. 

In the absence of all other sound, what filled the air instead was a thick stench of blood. 

Even the wind dared not blow where that dreadful smell lingered, leaving the place heavy with the presence of death. 

The remains scattered across the ground could be identified only by the one who had unleashed the wail. 

The moon hid itself behind thick clouds, as if to say it could not bear to look upon such a tragedy. 

Sounds of biting and chewing mingled with intermittent growls. 

As is nature’s way, the victor fed upon the flesh of the vanquished. 

However, the victor’s skin was raised with goose bumps, and not because of the cold. 

“It’s okay. I’m still fine.” 

In a trembling voice unbefitting someone who had triumphed, the victor repeated these words, almost desperately hoping they were true. 

“I haven’t lost my mind yet!” 

This declaration went unheard, disappearing into the dark and lonely night. 

 I’M W EAK 

Blue sky. White clouds. 

It’s a little chilly, but that’s no big deal thanks to the sunlight. 

Ideal weather, really. 

The perfect day for a picnic! 

“Hff…hff…” 

However, reality isn’t quite so kind. 

The sunlight might be a blessing to any normal person, but for us, it’s nothing more than an annoyance. 

And one of us is practically at death’s door already. 

Namely me. 

“Is your friend there all right?” 

A soldier looks at me with concern. 

But I don’t even have the energy to respond. 

“It’s fine. She’s always like this.” 

“She doesn’t seem fine to me…” 

At the Demon Lord’s words, the soldier looks even more concerned, and he starts to approach. 

“What I mean is, she’s not fine, so can you hurry up and let us in, please? She needs rest, as you can obviously see.” 

“Ah, right. Hmm… All right, go ahead. Stay safe.” 

The Demon Lord pays the appropriate toll for all of us, allowing us to pass through the gates and head into the town. 

I’m still in the carriage Mera is driving when we enter. 

We’re currently in a borderland near the Renxandt Empire. 

This is a northwestern town, not too far from the demon territory. 

The Renxandt Empire is a human realm that borders the demon lands, making it the front lines of the war between humans and demons. 

In other words, since we’re trying to reach said demon territory, getting here means our goal is finally within sight. 

Of course, we’re not planning on just waltzing through the border where the humans and demons are having their little face-off, of course. 

To the northwest of the Renxandt Empire is a steep mountain range called the Mystic Mountains. 

It separates the human and demon territories, so if we cross over that, we’ll arrive in the demon realm. 

However, as its name suggests, it’s incredibly difficult to cross the Mystic Mountains. 

It’s already hard enough to survive at such high elevation, but the place also happens to be crawling with monsters who thrive in that brutal environment. 

The mountain range is covered in snow and ice, and the high altitude means there’s low atmospheric pressure and thin air. 

Throw in some monsters that are built to withstand all that and, yeah, most hopeful climbers would probably die trying. 

But that’s only if we’re talking about any old average Joe. 

We’ve got an all-star group led by the literal Demon Lord, so no way some stupid mountains are going to slow us down. 

…Or are they? 

“You okay, White? Just kidding, you’re obviously not. Hang in there, friend; we’re almost to the inn.” 

The only response I can muster for the Demon Lord’s encouragement is a faint nod. 

Why am I acting like this, you ask? 

’Cause I’m carriage-sick and tired, that’s why. 

All jokes aside… 

I guess it started when I got drastically weakened following a certain incident. 

Around two years ago now, a UFO that was really an ancient weapon appeared from beneath the wasteland. 

The damn thing was so big, you’d have to measure it in miles, and it came with a ton of machines to boot. 

And to top it all off, the UFO was carrying a bomb that could blow away an entire continent if it went off. 

But somehow, we managed to win the fight against that ancient weapon. 

The UFO was brought down. 

And the bomb—the biggest problem of all—was taken care of, too. 

Because I ate it. 

Yeah, yeah. I don’t know what I was thinking, either. 

What was I hoping to accomplish by eating a bomb about to explode? 

But it did solve the problem somehow. 

In retrospect, I wanna be like, The hell was I thinking?! but it’s hard to joke about something that actually worked. 

I absorbed the bomb’s energy by swallowing it. 

Maybe it’s because I was trying to imitate the Demon Lord’s Gluttony skill when I did it, because I wound up taking in enough energy to blow away a continent. 

Then, as a very unexpected side effect, all that energy caused me to undergo deification; as in like, I turned into a god. 

Turns out the real definition of a god is just a being who contains a vast amount of energy. 

And since I absorbed the energy of a bomb that could start Armageddon, I definitely met those qualifications. 

Yay! Now I’m totally invincible! 

…Is exactly what didn’t happen. 

In reality, it’s actually kinda the opposite. 

See, by becoming a god, I got myself kicked out of the system that forms the foundation of this world. 

The system controls skills, stats, and all that other fun stuff that doesn’t exist on Earth. 

So what happens when you suddenly exist outside that system? 

Answer: You lose all your stats and skills. 

All the strength I’d built up so far was in the form of stats and skills. 

Without all of those, I’m basically just a normal person with a bunch of extra energy. 

Without my stats, I no longer have the power to punch a boulder and break it, the sturdiness to withstand the recoil from doing that, or even my too-fast-to-follow speed. 

Without skills, I can’t make thread, cast magic, or use my Evil Eyes. 

Gone, gone, gone. It’s all gone! 

Having all the energy in the world without knowing how to use it is, like, a total waste of talent. 

And it was skills and stats that made using that energy super-simple. 

If having the system’s support was like riding a bike with training wheels, this is like being on an oversized motorcycle—without knowing how to ride! 

Sure, the vehicle’s technically way better now, but that doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know how to ride it in the first place. 

Which is why as of now, I’m no better off than any regular old human. 

In fact, by the standards of this world, where everyone receives the benefits of the system, I’m pretty damn weak. 

Now that I think about it, even by the standards of Earth—given that I don’t have the physical energy to talk at all—I’m crazy weak. 

It reminds me of my memories as Hiiro Wakaba. 

When we did physical fitness exams at school, I always came in dead last. Ugh. 

And it looks like my current physical specs are around that same level. 

Which means I can’t even walk for too long without getting laid out like this. 

Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. 

For a while there, I had nothing to fear except for the likes of the Demon Lord and Potimas, but now I’m exhausted and rolling around in a carriage. 

What a joke. 

I mean, it’s not very funny, but I can still laugh. 

“Uh-oh, White’s having convulsions. This could be bad.” 

Peering in at me, the Demon Lord instructs Mera to drive faster. 

The carriage speed increases, and so does the degree of bumpiness. 

Ulp. 

I don’t feel so good. 

I clench my teeth, trying to get through it. 

Then I feel someone poking at my cheek. 

I’d normally say, Who did that?! but it’s pretty obvious who the prime suspect is. 

Sure enough, when I open my eyes, I see Fiel prodding me with a fingertip. 

Ever the prankster, Fiel is the most likely candidate to do this sort of thing, followed by Riel, who can be hard to read. 

I listlessly push Fiel’s finger away. 

Just leave me alone, please. 

At that, Fiel stops poking my cheek, but instead she starts rubbing my head for some reason. 

Actually, it’s more like she’s grabbing my head and dragging it around. 

I mean, I appreciate the concern and all, but could you be a little gentler about it? 

Having my head get rolled around like this just makes me feel even— Urgh! 

Just as something very unladylike starts to rise in my throat, a kind rescuer stays Fiel’s hand. 

It’s Ael, the eldest daughter-like puppet spider. 

Ael catches Fiel’s hand, forcing her to stop shaking my head around, and lands a little chop on Fiel’s forehead to boot. 

Yeah, that’s it! Get her, girl! 

It’s not like hitting her head will hurt her anyway, since the puppet spiders’ real bodies are the tiny spiders hiding inside. 

Though they look like young girls, these bodies are really just puppets being controlled by the spiders within, so there’s no problem with getting a little rough. 

However, Fiel doesn’t seem to understand why Ael hit her. 

I can almost see a question mark floating above her head. 

When they do stuff like this, they really do seem just like little girls. 

Although the reality is that they’re way too strong for the average monster to take on. 

If Fiel or Ael felt like it, they could probably pop my head right off, which is why having one of them shake me around is a bit scary. 

As for the other young puppet-spider girls, Sael is in her usual seat, glancing back at her sisters’ exchange but not moving from her spot. 

This is pretty standard for Sael. She’s not very independent, so it’s rare to see her move on her own. 

The last of the sisters, Riel, is staring into space with an unreadable expression. 

What are you, a cat? 

Is there something in that empty spot that only you can see or what? 

 

We’ve been traveling together for a long time now, but Riel is still a mystery to me. 

As for the final little girl of the group, though she’s not a puppet spider, the baby bloodsucker is sitting in her seat gazing out at the scenery, unconcerned with my plight. 

At first, she’d gotten worried about me each time I collapsed. But when it kept happening practically every day, she must have figured there was no point in worrying or something, because for a while now, she’s just been leaving me alone. 

This must be how the father of a teenage daughter feels, I bet. 

Like, things are totally awkward between us now. 

Actually, I think the reason she stopped talking to me is that Mera’s been making a point of looking after me! 

I’m sure Mera just sees it as paying back a debt, since I saved his hide and all. Even if that wasn’t the case, he’s too considerate to ignore someone who’s obviously not feeling well. 

So whenever I go down for the count, Mera always gallantly comes to my rescue, which is probably what’s got Vampy ticked off. 

She must know as well as I do that Mera’s not being nice because he’s attracted to me or whatever, but considering how damn possessive she is, it’s no surprise that she doesn’t want to see him caring for another girl. 

The bloodsucking duo’s relationship hasn’t changed much over the past two years. 

I mean, Vampy has certainly grown some, but she’s still just a little girl. 

And Mera’s obviously not going to consider such a young girl a potential romantic interest, so he still stays well within the bounds of a regular master-servant relationship. 

But I do have to wonder if he ever entertains the thought… 

Our baby bloodsucker has grown quite a bit over these two years. 

She’s still a little kid, yeah, but there’s already hints of the serious beauty she’ll become one day. 

Everyone’s cute when they’re a baby, but as you grow, you start to develop your individual facial features and all that stuff. 

The baby bloodsucker is still in the stage of life where everyone is cute, but it’s also the stage where you can start to get an idea of what someone is going to look like when they grow up. 

And our itty-bitty vampire is one hell of a looker with elegant facial features. 

Overall, she looks like her mother, but she’s got her father’s eyes, as they say. 

Both her parents were attractive, so at this rate, she’s definitely gonna grow into a real bombshell. 

Maybe then Mera will consider her, I guess. 

Still, even if that did happen, I bet Mera would be like, A servant must never fall in love with his master! and get all angsty about it. 

But that’s in the distant future, and it’s up to the baby bloodsucker whether she’ll get her way or not. 

Anyway, at the moment, Mera is still preoccupied driving the carriage. 

As the only man among a group of young girls, he ends up bearing a lot of scrutiny. 

When we enter a town like this, Mera often has to be the face of the group. 

It used to be that me and the puppet spiders stayed outside of town because of our appearances, but now that I’m fully human-shaped, there’s no point anymore. 

When I got deified, my form changed from a half-human, half-spider arachne to a fully human body. 

And now that the puppet spiders resemble humans at a glance, it seems mean to make them wait outside, so they come into town with us, too. 

Nobody’s caught on so far, so we should be fine. 

If anything, I’m our biggest worry, not the puppet spiders. 

I appear more or less human now, but there’s one problem: my eyes. 

I’ve got compound eyes now, with my pupils containing a bunch of smaller pupils. 

In fact, it’s a total of five pupils per eye—two regular, human-size pupils with four smaller pupils in each—which is pretty freaky even to me. 

If you count both sides, that’s ten eyes altogether, the same number I had as an arachne before I turned into a god. 

Like, why is the rest of me more or less based on Hiiro Wakaba but this one part has to be like an arachne? 

Why not be more considerate and give me normal eyes, too?! 

Thanks to that whole situation, I have to avoid letting people get a good look at my eyes when we go out in public. 

That means I usually pull a hood down over most of my face to make it hard to see. 

Even then, someone might catch a glimpse by chance, so I usually default to keeping my eyes closed while we’re in town. 

As a result, the people in towns we visit wind up thinking that I’m a blind, sickly young noblewoman. 

Me, a noblewoman? No waaay. 

Oops. Even now, I can’t be sure nobody’s looking. 

Heaving a sigh, I close my eyes. 

When I do that, I become even more painfully aware of the carriage swaying, which makes me feel even sicker, but I don’t have much of a choice. 

In fact, the group bought this carriage specifically for me, so I’d be a huge jerk to complain about it now. 

That’s right. We bought this because I keep passing out all the time. 

Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to get anywhere quickly. 

I’m so wimpy now that I can’t walk along even flat ground for too long. 

So of course there’s no way I could keep up with the others in the mountains and forests we’ve been traveling through so far to avoid being seen. 

All that said, now that deification has given me a more or less human appearance, we’ve got one less reason to avoid being seen in the first place. 

I guess that could be considered a lucky break. 

So now that we can use actual roads to get around, the Demon Lord was nice enough to buy this carriage with her own pocket money. 

I know, pretty bougie, right? 

I guess she’s had all kinds of jobs before this demon lord gig, so now she’s loaded. 

I don’t know how much a carriage costs, but I’m guessing it’s not the kind of thing a normal person can just pick up on impulse. 

Still, this was a necessary expense. 

Yes, my inability to travel on my own was a big part of it, but there’s another problem that was just as important. 

Namely: our stuff. 

Until now, we’d been storing all the stuff we needed for our journey with my Spatial Magic. 

Spatial Storage is a spell that conveniently lets you put objects into a separate dimension and take things out or put things in whenever you like. 

And since everything goes into another dimension, it doesn’t take up space or weigh anything. 

It’s the perfect spell for carrying luggage. 

But now I can’t use magic anymore. 

And I was the only one of us who could use Spatial Magic. 

In other words, we now have to carry all the stuff that we were able to just stow in Spatial Storage until now. 

Not to brag, but my magic abilities were pretty crazy, which means I was able to fit a considerable amount in Spatial Storage. 

So carrying all that stuff on our backs would be a bit difficult. 

Given the Demon Lord’s and the puppet spiders’ stats, I’m sure they could manage somehow, but that would require some enormous backpacks. 

That seemed a little silly, which was why we wound up with this carriage. 

As an aside, we only managed to get all the stuff that was stuck in my Spatial Storage because Güli-güli was nice enough to retrieve it for us. 

I don’t know if he used his administrator’s authority or if he simply manipulated space to force my Spatial Storage open or what, but otherwise we would have lost all our stuff, so I’m grateful. 

Spatial Storage is a form of magic, so you have to provide it with magic power to keep it going. 

With my magic abilities gone, it would’ve eventually run out of the power I put into it, and the whole pocket dimension would have disappeared along with everything inside. 

Thank you, based Güli-güli. 

That being said, I was shocked at the amount of stuff he pulled out. 

I’d just been shoving things in there without thinking, so it really piled up over time. 

We’re talking the meat and parts of monsters I’d hunted, things like that. 

And the clothes and stuff that the puppet spiders and I had been making to kill time. 

Plus a set of camping tools and so much cookware and spices that I half expected to see a literal kitchen sink come out. 

Really, there was no end to it all. 

It was way too much to cram into a single carriage, so we had to dispose of some, as much as it pained me to do so. 

We bought the biggest carriage they had, and that still wasn’t enough to keep everything. 

Still, it’s big enough to fit all of us with room to spare, plus it has a separate space for luggage. 

I think it’s supposed to be for merchants traveling long distances. 

Of course, that means it’s super-heavy, so it’s bound to be tough on the horse pulling it…but this is a fantasy world, remember? 

This isn’t actually a horse-drawn carriage. It’s wyrm-drawn. 

The creature’s shape does resemble a horse, but its face is definitely that of a wyrm. 

Specifically, it’s an earth wyrm, the kind that’s actually used fairly often in place of a horse in this world. 

It’s got way more strength and stamina than a horse, and since it is still a wyrm, it’s totally battle ready, too. 

That being said, its stats are all around the low hundreds, so I’m not really expecting too much from it. 

But this wyrm is pretty impressive from a normal person’s perspective, making it the best possible creature for pulling a carriage, or so I’m told. 

I mean, it’s a substitute horse, but it’s also an earth wyrm. 

As I experienced firsthand with Araba, earth-type wyrms and dragons all share a deep code of honor. 

These guys are no different. They’ll only obey someone who they’ve accepted as their master. 

Which also means once they decide that’s what you are, they’ll be loyal to you for life. 

Oh, by the way, as you may have gathered from me saying these guys, we’ve actually got two earth wyrms pulling this carriage. 

It’s a two-horse—no, two-wyrm carriage. 

Does that mean it runs on wyrmpower, not horsepower? 

Anyway, these earth wyrms are popular because of their loyalty, but since they also have to acknowledge you as their master first, your stats have to be at a certain level or they’ll never obey you. 

They usually obey only knights and stuff, who usually ride on top of them directly as cavalry mounts. 

Putting that all together means there’s not a whole lot of people who have an earth wyrm pulling their carriage. 

Never mind two. 

Obviously, we stand out a little bit. 

And by a little bit, I mean a lot. 

On top of that, when people find out it’s mostly just young girls riding in this already unusual wyrm-drawn carriage, we stand out even more. 

More than half our members appear to be little girls, and Mera’s the only man to be found. 

Given this unique setup, we tend to be the subject of a lot of gossip in every town we visit. 

Usually, I pass out in the local inn as soon as we arrive, so it’s Mera and the Demon Lord who end up gathering that sort of information. 

Speaking of which, we better get to an inn soon, or there’s gonna be trouble. 

This carriage moves way too much! 

My butt and my inner ear are under attack here! 

Seriously, it’s not funny. 

If anyone out there is thinking, A carriage can’t bounce around that much, I invite you to try it out for yourself sometime. 

There aren’t any paved roads here, either. 

Some of the bigger roads are paved to an extent sometimes, but not the rural back roads like this one. 

We’re talking the bumpiest dirt roads you’ve ever seen in your damn life. 

Take a carriage onto a road like that and there’s going to be some serious jostling. 

You ever been sitting and had your butt bounce right out of the seat? 

It’s just like an amusement-park ride. 

Except it’s not fun at all! 

Thanks to that, my whole body hurts (especially my butt), and getting bumping around in every direction is making me feel sick. 

Throw in my now-pathetic physical stamina, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. 

Once we get into town, the bouncing lessens a little bit, but by now the pain, discomfort, and queasiness have taken their toll. 

The Demon Lord really splurged on this carriage, so it’s about as good as they get, but it’s still rough on this new body of mine. 

I mean, this is loads better than walking on my own two feet, sure, but still not ideal. 

What I need right now is a bed that doesn’t shake! 

Ah, once we get to the inn, I’m gonna sleep forever… 

“White? Whiiite? We made it to the inn, okaaay? Uh-oh, you don’t look so good. You’re not just pale anymore; you’re white as a sheet. I picked the right name for you, huh?” 

Um, aren’t I always white as a sheet? 

I do feel worse than normal right now, though. 

“Merazophis, would you do the honors?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

The Demon Lord doesn’t need to specify further than that. 

Immediately, I suddenly feel someone directing murderous wrath toward me, but I’m just gonna ignore it. 

Definitely my imagination. 

My limp body is gently lifted off the floor of the carriage. 

I don’t have the energy to open my eyes, but Mera must be carrying me bridal-style. 

That’s what usually happens when I go down like this, so I’m used to it by now. 

I’m also not surprised by the creeping sensation that someone wants to kill me, which I’m still ignoring. 

I can’t help it, okay?! 

If I could stand on my own right now, I would! Believe me! 

But I can’t, so I got no choice but to have Mera carry me like this! 

Like, come on. Everyone else in this group basically looks like a child. 

Sure, because of their stats, some of them are a lot stronger than they look. 

But don’t you think it would stand out a little too much if a tiny girl was carrying a grown-ass woman over her shoulder? 

The Demon Lord’s not as small as the others, but there’s still a major difference in size between us. 

If anything, since Mera’s the only man in our group, people would probably give him looks if he let anyone else carry me. 

Which means it’s inevitable that Mera has to carry me, okay? 

So quit blaming me, Vampy! 

Don’t start turning into a crazy stalker when you’re still basically a toddler. 

If I open my eyes right now, I’d probably spot a wee vampire glaring at me with a face straight out of a horror movie, so I’m just gonna keep ’em shut like dead weight. 

Well, it’s not like the dead-weight thing is an act anyway. 

Opening my eyes would seriously be more trouble than it’s worth. 

Instead, I just let myself get carried until I’m lowered onto a bed. 

Ohhh. 

It’s soft. It’s not moving. Am I in heaven? 

Actually, it could be a little softer, but this is an inn in some hick town in the middle of nowhere, so I’m not gonna complain. 

Right now, I’m happy just to be able to lay in a real bed. 

Yep. I’m not lifting a single finger. 

Gonna go right to sleep! 

Good night. 



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COMMENTS

2 Comments

2 Years, 1 Month ago

volume 8 has already started well kkkkkkk

2 Years, 4 Months ago

kkkkkk Good !!!

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