Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 8 - Chapter 2

I’M A SHUT-I N 

Good morning. 

The sunlight streaming in through the window is so bright and annoying. 

Damn you, sun… 

Fortunately, the sunlight doesn’t reach my bed thanks to the layout of this inn. 

At least I don’t have to worry about waking up with the sun right in my face. 

Still, just because it’s not directly touching me doesn’t mean I can let my guard down. 

You can’t underestimate the power of the sun. 

That bastard affects us in all kinds of ways just by existing. 

Pretty scary, right? 

Why am I so afraid of the sunlight, you ask? 

Because I’m an albino, of course. 

Yeah, I know. 

If you were going to point out that I’ve been that way for a while now, please don’t bother. 

I mean, considering how my whole body is pure white and I’ve got red eyes to boot, it did cross my mind that it might be albinism, okay? 

But I didn’t experience any of the side effects, so I figured I just happened to have a similar coloration. 

But since deification, I’ve learned that I was wrong. 

If sunlight touches me directly, it hurts. 

Like, a lot. 

Albinism is a condition in which the melanin pigment isn’t produced properly, resulting in white skin, hair, and so on. 

The eyes are red because the blood vessels are visible through the irises. 

And it so happens that the presence of melanin is important for reducing the harm caused by ultraviolet rays, so if you don’t have much, those UV rays become a serious problem. 

If sunlight hits me, I get sunburn-like symptoms immediately. 

You might think sunburns aren’t a big deal, but you’d be wrong, okay? 

Sunburns can increase your risk of skin cancer. Plus, they hurt like hell. 

And this stupid world doesn’t have sunscreen or anything sensible like that, so it’s actually kind of a huge problem for me. 

Of course, there is Healing Magic in this world, so I guess it’s all right in theory, but that doesn’t mean I want to be in constant agony. 

In fact, the Demon Lord’s already treated me with Healing Magic plenty of times over the past two years. 

Ideally, I’d just avoid doing anything in direct sunlight, but it’s hard to keep that up over such an extended journey. 

I seem to remember that albinism can also affect your eyesight, but my eyesight doesn’t seem too bad. 

Sure, it’s not as good as it was before this deification business, but I’d say I can see about as well as the average person. 

Is it because I’ve got ten pupils? 

Your guess is as good as mine, buddy. 

Still, it’s better than walking around half-blind. 

Anyway, I’m guessing the reason I never suffered these symptoms before is thanks to my super-high stats. 

My defense was so high that ultraviolet rays didn’t affect me. 

Pretty crazy, right? 

Guess all I have to do is raise my stats. 

Except that I don’t have them anymore! 

Please, stats, come back to me! 

…Nope, didn’t work. Still don’t have any. 

Looks like UV rays are just one more thing I’m gonna have to deal with. 

Turning away from the sunny window, I look around the room. 

Wait, there’s somebody crouching in the corner! 

That scares me for a second, until I look closer and realize it’s just Sael. 

She must have stayed behind to look after me. 

No one else is in the room, and I don’t hear anyone outside the door. 

I guess everyone else went out. 

Wait, even the bloodsucker duo? Why are you guys going out in broad daylight?! 

What kind of world is this that I have to be more afraid of sunlight than freaking vampires?! 

It’s all because their stats are so damn high! 

Gimme those stats, dammit! 

Okay, there’s no point in taking it out on the bloodsuckers. 

It’s not like Mera and the kid got those stats without any effort. 

They used to be nothing but a baby and her caretaker, but they’ve been training hard over the course of this journey and they’ve come a long way. 

Without my Appraisal skill, I can no longer tell how strong they are. 

But according to the Demon Lord, they’re still coming along quite nicely. 

It’s kinda like training has become part of their daily routine. 

I guess it was me who got them into that habit, but it’s impressive that they’re keeping it up even though I can’t teach them anymore after the whole turning-into-a-god thing. 

Is this how it was with Pavlov’s dogs? 

Or are they just a couple of weirdos? 

Well, I guess I get why Mera wants to keep training. 

In the past, he wasn’t able to protect the baby bloodsucker’s parents. 

I understand all too well the feeling of wanting to be stronger after suffering because you were too weak. 

When my home went up in flames and I had no choice but to run away, I was frustrated beyond belief. 

Mera must have felt a similar way, or probably even worse, since he lost the people he cherished. 

He’s probably training now so that he’ll be able to protect the person he cares about if anything like that happens again. 

Even if the person he’s trying to protect is kind of a monstrous vampire… But let’s just ignore that part. 

Ahem. Anyway. 

The baby bloodsucker, huh? 

Her training regimen has taken a weird turn. 

Most recently, she’s been training by having mock battles with Ael. 

And that’s kind of what’s so weird in the first place. 

I know Ael looks like a little girl, but she’s actually a super-strong monster with stats over a thousand each, y’know? 

She could probably destroy a whole town on her own, maybe even a whole damn country. 

And this kid is having practice battles against her? 

There’s definitely something weird about that. 

I mean, Ael isn’t going all out, of course. 

If someone wants to fight Ael at her full strength, they’d better have an elder dragon or something on your side. 

But even so, it’s crazy that Vampy can hold her own against Ael in a mock battle. 

Not to mention, those battles get so intense that they can’t even have them in front of people. 

You ever been in a carriage when two of the people just up and vanish, and then you hear a bunch of booms and crashes echo in the distance? 

We’re talking comic book–level sound effects here. 

If their fights are that crazy, I guess I can see why Ael would agree to them. 

I bet some rando monsters wouldn’t even stand a chance against Vampy anymore. 

Those are some scary little girls. 

By the way, Ael is the only one who participates in these mock battles. 

Why, you ask? 

Because the other puppet spiders don’t know how to hold back. 

Sael might accidentally kill the baby bloodsucker. 

Riel, on the other hand, might accidentally kill the baby bloodsucker. 

Fiel, you guessed it, might accidentally kill the baby bloodsucker. 

So by process of elimination, Ael is the only one who can do it. 

With the others, the only outcome I can see is Vampy accidentally getting killed. 

And one of those who might accidentally kill someone, Sael, is currently lurking in the corner glancing at me. 

Sael almost never acts on her own without being told what to do. 

Sometimes her total lack of independence gets on my nerves, but that also means that she’ll faithfully carry out any orders you give her, which means she ends up on guard duty like this a lot. 

Unless an emergency arises, she doesn’t have to do anything, so it’s perfect. 

Although if an emergency did arise, I don’t think she’d be much help. 

I can’t even picture Sael staying on her toes and adapting to a situation on the fly. 

She can probably make the most basic decisions as a bodyguard, or so I’d like to think, but this is Sael we’re talking about, so… 

At least I don’t have to worry about her doing something totally unexpected like Riel, but it’s still a little anxiety-inducing. 

Other than that, she’s just as strong as Ael, but…having power and being able to use it are two very different things. 

Putting these rather rude thoughts aside, I sit up slowly in bed. 

I’ve been lying around for a good five minutes or so since I woke up. 

Back when I had the Thought Acceleration skill, I could dwell on pointless thoughts as long as I wanted and only a few seconds would pass in real time, but that’s not the case anymore. 

Time doesn’t conveniently slow down for me when I get lost in thought. 

In other words, while I’ve been making this pointless, rude analysis of Sael, she’s just been sitting timidly in the corner of the room the whole time. 

That’s pretty impressive in its own way. 

If it was Fiel, I’m sure she would’ve gotten impatient and jumped on me by now. 

When you think about it that way, maybe Sael is actually well suited to this kind of job. 

For the most part, the only thing she has to do is sit still. 

Riel is decent at sitting still, too, but in her case, I feel like there’d be a real danger of her forgetting that she was supposed to be a bodyguard in the first place. 

I guess this is what they mean by choosing the right person for the job. 

Although there is one more reason she ends up staying behind on guard duty pretty often. 

Unlike her other limbs, one of the left arms that’s hidden by her long sleeves looks just like a puppet’s arm. 

For the most part, the puppet spiders’ bodies are almost indistinguishable from humans thanks to my magical modifications. 

Not only their appearance, but even the feel of their skin is similar enough that you wouldn’t know at a glance or a touch. 

However, Sael’s left arm got destroyed by an enemy tank right before the UFO incident two years ago. 

And since I got deified, I can’t produce thread anymore, which of course means I can’t make puppet parts with thread, either. 

The Demon Lord has the same Divine Thread Weaving skill, so I casually thought she might be able to reproduce it, but she said, “Yeah, no, I can’t,” and threw in the towel immediately. I guess what I was doing was actually kinda crazy. 

The Demon Lord did help me at the time, but I guess she couldn’t quite reproduce human skin like I could. 

So Sael’s left arm is currently in an incomplete state, and while it functions just fine, it would probably look pretty strange to most people. 

People might even guess that she’s a monster if they saw it, similar to how my eyes might give me away. 

Which is why Sael often ends up being a shut-in like me. 

I stand in front of the dresser in the room, then beckon to Sael. 

When she hesitantly shuffles over, I gesture to her to help me get dressed. 

Sael and the other puppet spiders love dressing me up, so I have them help me fairly often. 

Heh, it’s so nice of me to offer to be these little girls’ dress-up doll for their entertainment. 

It’s definitely not because doing it myself is a pain. 

Nope, definitely not. 

Sael retrieves some clothing from our luggage and carries it over. 

Today, she’s picked out a short-sleeve shirt and a miniskirt, both of which show a considerable amount of skin. 

Her fashion choices for me tend to be surprisingly bold. 

Why is this the only time she decides to be independent? 

She’s a puppet, so she doesn’t breathe, but I swear I can almost hear her huffing and puffing with glee. 

Well, I guess it’s fine, since I’m going to wear a robe over it anyway. 

Giving up, I let her dress me however she likes, then rub some lotion with a sunblock-like effect over my skin for good measure. 

It’s not as effective as the Japanese stuff, but it’s better than nothing. 

Folks in this world don’t seem to be too concerned about skin care, or I guess they don’t have to worry about sunburns and stuff thanks to their stats, so there aren’t a lot of beauty products like this. 

In fact, most of the common folks here spend their days just trying to survive, so only rich people can buy luxury products like this in the first place. 

Which means makeup and the like is actually pretty expensive. 

This stuff puts a considerable strain on the Demon Lord’s wallet, I bet. 

But I have no choice! 

I’m not having her buy me this stuff for beauty’s sake; it’s because I’ll definitely burn without it! 

As I make excuses to myself, Sael finishes helping me into my clothes, so I sit on the stool in front of the dresser. 

Sael looks excited as she starts brushing my hair. 

Since it’s rather smooth and frizz-free, it takes only a few strokes before she moves on to tying my usual braid. 

I’m crazy susceptible to sunlight for the most part, but for some reason, nothing seems to damage my hair. 

I’m still careful about covering up with a hood so it won’t get any sun, of course. 

I do find it a little mysterious that my hair always stays this smooth, though. 

You don’t think I’m subconsciously using my godly powers to keep my hair looking nice, do you? 

Hmm. I can’t say for sure that that’s not the case, which is a little concerning. 

It’s better than having unruly hair, so I guess I can’t complain. 

But if I can use my powers for that, why can’t I use them for anything else? 

It’s been pretty rough not having any powers these past two years. 

Every time something goes wrong, I imagine how much easier life would be if I had them again. 

So as Sael continues arranging my hair, I focus with all my might. 

In my mind’s eye, I picture thread. 

White, thin, sturdy spider thread. 

I imagine it coming out of my fingertips. 

But no matter how hard I will it, thread doesn’t appear. 

Nothing happens if I try to picture Dark Magic or focus power in my eyes to use Evil Eyes, either. 

While I’m trying these things, Sael finishes her work. 

Checking in the mirror, I see myself looking perfectly well-groomed. 

No luck today, just as I suspected. 

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been trying all kinds of things to get my old powers back. 

I’ve tried meditating to see if I could detect the flow of magic power and weight lifting to regain some physical strength—like I said, all kinds of things. 

But every single attempt has ended in failure. 

Skills and stats are how the system forces this world’s inhabitants to use their power, after all. 

In other words, it’s a support system that helps guide people on how to use their power correctly. 

Now that I don’t have that support anymore, I can’t use my power. 

But the system is nothing more than that: a support system. 

In the end, we’re the ones who are actually using the power. 

By that logic, it should be possible to use my power even without the system’s help. 

Güli-güli said himself that if I just learn how to do that, I could be as strong or even stronger than he is. 

But I’ve got no idea how to go about that! 

I’m like a little Japanese boy going around yelling, K ? MEHAMEHA! 

Obviously that’s not gonna work! 

How do I make it work?! 

Just work already, dammit! 

Ugh. I seriously have no clue. 

Since I don’t know how to use my supposedly amazing power, I’m just falling flat on my face before I even begin. 

It’s like I haven’t even made it to the starting line yet. 

I used tons of skills and stuff before deification, so I have some idea of how it’s supposed to feel, or at least I thought I did. 

At first I was optimistic that I’d figure out how to use it pretty fast, but it’s already been two whole years. 

Even I’m starting to freak out now. 

What if I never figure out how to use my powers, and I just stay this weak forever? 

That’s not gonna happen, I think (I hope), but I guess it’s actually normal for humans not to have power in the first place. 

Skills are an unnatural power granted by the system in this world, unlike Earth, where there were no superpowers or anything like that. 

It’s normal to not have powers. 

Maybe that’s just how it’s gonna be for me from now on. 

But I know for sure that an enormous amount of power is resting inside me somewhere. 

I just don’t know how to tap into it yet. 

All I need is some kind of awakening that helps me figure out how to wield my power, and I’ll finally be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. 

Swallowing a sigh, I stand up. 

I pull out my usual unfashionable robe from our luggage and throw it on. 

It seems like a waste after Sael got me all dressed up, but I want to expose as little skin as possible, and I need a big hood to cover these creepy eyes of mine. 

Besides, I have other reasons to hide my face, too. 

So I pull my hood down low and head out of the room, Sael following behind me. 

The inn we’re staying in is three stories, with our room on the second floor. 

The first floor is probably a dining hall, so I’ll start with a late breakfast. 

But when I go down the stairs and step into the dining area, there are already other customers, despite the time of day. 

Two men are drinking booze in the early afternoon and chatting away. 

Judging by their clothes, they’re probably adventurers. 

I’ve kiiiinda got a bad feeling about this, but my hunger wins out, so I keep moving. 

The two adventurers notice Sael and me entering the dining hall and stare at us dubiously. 

Yeah, I guess I can’t blame them for being suspicious of someone wearing a sketchy robe with their hood up even though we’re inside a building. 

Taking care to ignore the adventurers, I attempt to walk past them. 

I would’ve liked to avoid them entirely, but they’re sitting at the table closest to the entrance, so no such luck. 

Left with no other choice, I walk by their table. 

That’s when it happens. 

“Whoopsie!” 

One of the men stumbles, clearly deliberately, and yanks off my hood. 

The two men smirk at me. 

Now they’ve done it! 

I close my eyes immediately, so at least they don’t see those. 

But obviously, with my eyes closed, I can’t see anything. 

I don’t know what these two buffoons are going to try next. 

“Ooh! What a beaut!” 

I feel their breath unexpectedly close to my face, reeking of alcohol. 

As I draw back, startled, I feel a sudden impact near my neck. 

It’s nothing too forceful, but clearly one of the men has put his arm around my shoulders, although I can’t actually see it. 

Drunken bastards! 

This is why I don’t like to show my face! 

Look, I know it’s weird to say this about myself, but I’m actually pretty hot. 

Between my stunning good looks and my unusual skin color (or lack thereof), I tend to draw waaay more attention than I’d prefer to. 

Which is why I avoid showing my face as much as possible. 

But these drunks pulled off my hood, and now they have the nerve to mess with me even further?! 

At first, I manage to remain calm. 

Or rather, it’s more like my brain can’t even process what’s happening. 

But after the next attack, my thoughts go flying in another direction entirely. 

“Ooh, you’ve got more going on than meets the eye, eh?” 

Huh? 

What? 

Hmm? 

I feel a squeezing sensation. 

Right around the area of my chest. 

He’s feeling me up! 

Honestly, I’m amazed I don’t faint on the spot. 

If anything, I’m sure I’m seconds away from doing so. 

But then I hear the drunk say something else. 

“Hunh? What do you want, brat?” 

Oh crap! 

Without another thought, I reach out for Sael. 

My eyes are still closed, so I’m just going on my instincts, but luckily I manage to grab her small shoulder. 

Through my hand, I can feel her stop moving. 

Whew, that was close. 

If I was a second too late, a serious tragedy might’ve unfolded just now. 

As you may recall, Sael doesn’t really act independently. 

But there are certain things that she knows she’s supposed to do, based on prior experience. 

And in this situation, I know exactly what Sael was about to do: eliminate the enemy. 

You might think it silly for a powerful monster to regard some run-of-the-mill drunks as enemies, but Sael seriously can’t make judgment calls like that. 

She doesn’t worry about the finer details. She just identifies anyone who messes with any of us as an enemy. 

If it were Ael here, she would probably be able to chase off the drunks without anyone getting hurt, but Sael isn’t good with such delicate maneuvers. 

All she can do is what she’s already been ordered to do, so you have to be extra careful around her in situations like these. 

As much as I hate to say it, these guys probably shouldn’t get the death penalty for groping me. 

And now it’s my job to save the lives of these drunken assholes even though they’re the ones who harassed me? 

Unreal. 

…Honestly, if you really think about it, should I really protect them at all? 

If they’re gonna get drunk first thing in the morning and start harassing any girl who passes by, wouldn’t they be better off dead anyway? 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!” 

Just as my mind wanders down this dangerous path while I start seriously considering letting Sael do her thing, someone shouts from the back of the galley. 

Instinctively, I open my eyes a bit to see who’s speaking and find a well-built older lady stomping toward us from the kitchen. 

She’s even bigger (and wider) than these well-built adventurers. 

“If you’re going to bother other customers, I’ll have to ask you to leave!” 

“Oh, uh, we’re sorry.” 

Shrinking away from the woman, the drunks seem to sober up in an instant. 

“Don’t apologize to me! Apologize to this poor girl!” 

“Y-yes, ma’am! We’re sorry!” 

You rule, lady! 

The adventurers give me a quick bow before hustling out of the dining hall. 

“Honestly. This is the problem with adventurers.” The lady heaves a sigh. “I’m sorry, young ladies.” 

She’s got nothing to apologize for. If anything, she saved me, so I should be thanking her. 

For the time being, I try to communicate with gestures that it’s no big deal. 

“Not all adventurers are such awful boors, but my goodness. You’re a real beauty, too, so you’d best be careful.” 

Yeah, that’s why I was wearing a hood and hiding out in the inn. 

Although I guess maybe wearing a hood inside only makes me stand out more. 

“Especially lately, when so many adventurers from abroad are coming to town. There might be some shady folks slipping in with the crowd, so mind you don’t get mixed up in anything dangerous.” 

Huh? 

Why are out-of-town adventurers gathering here? 

Most adventurers in this world seem to pick one town and stay there. 

Their job is to defeat monsters, after all. 

They have to ward off any monsters that get too close to town every day, so they don’t usually stray far from their respective towns unless there’s a major reason. 

So what’s the big development bringing people here right now? 

“Seems an ogre’s appeared close to town. It’s even beaten a few adventurers who went out after it, too. So now other adventurers are gathering from the nearby towns and villages to fight it. Scary stuff, wouldn’t you say?” 

Huh. 

Ogre, you say? 

If it’s turned the tables on a few adventurers, it must be pretty strong. 

Some of the monsters in this world are similar to the ones that appeared in the stories back on Earth. 

Maybe a certain evil god decided to make this one for a little entertainment. 

I’ve never seen an ogre in person, but they seem to be fairly common monsters that show up all over. 

Which usually means they’re the kind of monster that humans can handle. 

So it’s unusual for them to be all that strong, but if this one’s killing adventurers, it must be a pretty special individual. 

Not that I’m one to talk, but weirdly strong monsters do pop up once in a while, so I’m sure this is just another case of that. 

For our group, though, an ogre’s not even a threat worth mentioning. 

No matter how strong it might be, it can’t beat the puppet spiders with their thousand-plus stats, and even in the unlikely event that it could, we’ve got the ultimate weapon known as the Demon Lord on our side. 

So this is really nothing to worry about. 

“Now then! You came to get some grub, right? I’ll cut you a good deal to make up for all that fuss!” 

Yaaay! 

I’m way more interested in that than some random ogre!