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Kusoge Online (BETA) - Volume 2 - Chapter 1




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Chapter 1: 
There are Nothing But Problems in this Game 
 
 
 
The sound of surge was echoing beneath the orange sun. 
It was the sound of the sea with the sea scenery spreading beneath Sasaraki's eyes. Though, it was a small sea, about ten kilometers into every direction. In it were a bunch of islands. On one of them desert and pyramids. Next to that, another one with a gigantic castle on it, covered in ice. Between those islands was a vortex, preventing travel between them. 
All of those had been set up by our youth, Sasaraki. 
For he was a gamemaster. 
The creators of this virtual world, 'Sword & Magic Online,' its absolute rulers. 
Why a boy would be a gamemaster? Because all the devs had run away. 
This game was a kusoge. 
They'd advertised that it'd have 255 floors, yet only one floor had actually been implemented. Sasaraki had filled in for the developers who had left this kind of kusoge behind and determined himself to become a gamemaster for the sake of his comrades— Lizna and Azrael. 
"Hmm… I'm done arranging the islands at large, but…" 
Sasaraki mumbled looking at the monitor in front of him while seated on a chair-like travelling device, called 'Air Master.' The implementation of the second floor, 'The End of the Endless Ocean,' was more or less going according to plan. 
He was about 50% done. 
"But… I guess I'd like to see some more 'enjoyments' there." 
Such were the teachings of the mysterious girl, Alice, the one who had appointed him gamemaster. 
And one of the most important teachings of her was... 
 
"The 100 Rules of Being a Gamemaster, rule number 4— You mustn't unravel the secrets of the game!" 
If the players would see its secrets— that is, if they'd understand the game in its entirety, they wouldn't be able to enjoy the game anymore. Obstacles they'd come to understand - a world they'd come to understand - would be boring. 
Which is why they needed 'enjoyments.' 
"Yeah, I kind of want a monastery at the shore, though it's got no real meaning behind it." 
[U n d e r s t o o d .] 
Popped up on the 'Master Screen' which opened itself in front of Sasaraki. 
Thereupon, an island shifted. Smoke arose on the icy one. 
And all of a sudden a small monastery had appeared on its shore. 
Able to alter the world in the blink of an eye, such was the power of one of the main function of the 'Master Screen,' the 'Creation Mode.' It could spawn all kinds of buildings, events, quests, monsters; your imagination's the limit. 
"Ah, wait a minute." 
[W a i t i n g a m i n u t e .] 
"The doorway seems to be stuck in an ice wall and can't be entered." 
[I s t h a t s o ?] 
"I'd like you to fix that." 
[E e h ? T h a t ' d b e a p a i n i n t h e a s s .] 
"........................" 
It could do anything. 
 
But the actions it undertook were only vaguely faithful, and on top of that whimsical, too. 
According to Alice, "A fairy's in there," but that fairy was doing things way too half-assedly. And because of that, this kusoge became the kusoge it was. Who programmed this pointlessly sophisticated AI? It didn't appear to have been Alice— 
"Please! Nobody will be able to enter it like this." 
[W o u l d y o u l i k e m e t o w r e c k a w a l l ?] 
"Of course not!" 
[M a s t e r s u r e i s d e m a n d i n g , J e e z . . .] 
He was the one who wanted to say 'Jeez' here. Thanks to that vague 'Master Screen,' the implementation of floor two was painstaking. If he ordered it to do something, it would somehow comply, but the way it took his commands to action was incredibly half-baked. 
"...By the way, how's the clearing of floor one coming along?" 
[U n d e r s t o o d , d i s p l a y i n g f l o o r o n e . . .] 
He was creating the second floor of this virtual world right now. If someone were to clear the first floor, the game was programmed to let everyone move on to the second floor. It hadn't been long since the leading raid guild messed up floor one's boss, so there should've been time still. 
The display shifted and showed floor one's final dungeon. 
In front of the dungeon were three players. 
"Alright! We're gonna clear this dungeon with just the three of us—!" 
"B-But can we do that…? Even a raid group couldn't, right…?" 
"I've got some intel, we'll be fine! There's hardly any trash mobs left, it's just the boss!" 
"Our preparations are flawless. There's no reason to be hesitant, Sousla." 
 
"Y-Yeah… if you two say so, I'll… do my best…" 
It appeared to be a determined party of three . 
"Ooh, I wonder whether they can do it." 
[T h a t i s c o n s i d e r e d i m p o s s i b l e .] 
"...Eh? Why?" 
[L o o k f o r y o u r s e l f .] 
When the girl, Sousla, touched the switch to the hidden dungeon entrance… 
BOOOM. 
The three of them exploded. 
An explosion as violent as a fireball's took place and almost set loose an avalanche in the mountains. 
Sasaraki watched it in a daze, seeing the death notifications of all of them pop up on screen. 
[Player Sousla Died. Reason: Touched Forbidden Land.] 
[Player Douglas Died. Reason: Touched Forbidden Land.] 
[Player Gogoss died. Reason: Touched Forbidden Land.] 
"........................The hell just happened?" 
[F u r y - s a n d i d s o m e w o r k o n i t .] 
Namely, that any player touching the switch to the hidden passage would explode. 
"WHY?!" 
"Eh? No particular reason?" 
 
Suddenly, the few decimeters tall fairy, Fury, appeared. 
"What have you done?!" 
"You see~, didn't Master say so himself??" 
"What?!" 
"That this game needs enjoyments—?" 
"That's just you enjoying yourself, isn't it?!" 
Thereafter, he fought it out with the 'Master Screen' and somehow fixed the switch. 
—This game's a kusoge. 
The biggest of reasons being that the implementations were way too half-assed. 
And those had been brought upon them by evil-minded developers. 
* * * 
After implementation in general had been done, Sasaraki returned to the debugging room. 
The debugging room, an impassable area surrounded by jet-black walls. A girl was in one of the corners. Sitting on a chair tall enough for her feet to not reach to the ground, she was surrounded by numerous screens waiting on her, while she was playing a stare-down game with the text displayed and a frantic expression on her face. 
Sasaraki and Lizna were watching that Azrael's back together. 
"Azrael-san, what are you doing?" 
Lizna asked, bewondered. 
 
"I'm developing a 'divorce system.'" 
Azrael was this game's programmer. She could change the rules of world to her heart's content— her imagination and skills were the limit. Her imagination was above average, her skills, though, weren't. Actually, she was an amateur. 
But she was a hardworking person. 
Which is why she tried to read the code carefully as much as an amateur could... 
"I-I-I can't lose here…!" 
...to implement a divorce system. More precisely, to arrange her own divorce. 
"...It's a really… awful bug, isn't it?" 
Sasaraki looked at his left hand. A silver ring graced his ring finger. It had 
'Sasaraki & Azrael' engraved in Japanese. The same ring should be on Azrael's finger. Uselessly detailed craftsmanship, indeed. 
They were newly weds. 
The reason was a bug, for the most part. And the developer's ill intentions. 
And so Azrael tried her hardest to develop a divorce system. 
"Mhm, mhm, so that's how it is?" 
Lizna nodded beside him as if she'd understood something. 
"That's why Sasaraki's watching Azrael with that gentle expression of his which says 'no need for you to do all that,' right?" 
Sasaraki fell off his chair. 
"NO, I'M NOT?! I WANNA GET DIVORCED TOO?!" 
"Azrael's cute when she's desperate, isn't she? I'd alos love to watch her forever like this~" 
Lizna said, turning a deaf ear. 
"But is this okay, I wonder? We don't have much time left, right?" 
 
She took a paper from the desk close to her. 
Written on it was 'End of Service Notice.' 
"It's two more weeks until the end of service and we have to take measures." 
"Fufu~ You've to think the other way around, Lizna." 
A voice said from behind. When they turned round, it was the gamemaster girl, Alice, with her silver hair fluttering. She expressed a pointlessly confident smile. 
Sasaraki knew that smile all too well. Basically, it was a smile signalling that she wasn't thinking anything good. 
Alice pointed at Lizna sharply and shouted… 
 
 
"IF THERE'S STILL TWO WEEKS LEFT, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WASTE A DAY 
OR TWO!" 
 
"Nonono!" 
When Sasaraki thought that that'd been worse than expected, Alice chuckled. 
"I'm just joking. A divorce system wouldn't be a waste." 
"But it's only Azrael and I who've been married here, you know?" 
Thanks to the patch of a former malicious developer, for a whole hour, this game had turned into a world where people would get married just by holding hands. Only two people should've been affected by that. That only those two people would go all out to get divorced couldn't be helped. 
"Look, there are much more other things we need to do." 
Ten thousand active players. This was the condition for the game to continue. 
And the current player count was 10255. Approximately 20 players quit per day, and if this kept up, they had 13 more days until game over. 
They had to improve the game somehow and make the players stay. For that sake, they were doing two big things: Implementing the second floor, 'The End of the Endless Ocean' as well as adding new components; and at the same time crushing critical bugs (a lot of them there to crush!) which were the cause for the end of the world. 
"We're the ones implementing the second floor, not Azrael, remember?" 
"But there's a lot of bugs left, you know?" 
In this game, laws of physics like gravity or attraction were computed by extremely half-assed algorithms and so if players performed just a bit of an unforeseen action, they'd break the heaven and earth. There'd been a case where it rained 'long swords' instead of water before, which went down as 'The Bladerain Incident.' 
"It's fine, that one didn't make too many players quit." 
"Everyone's already used to that kind of stuff, right…? But we can't leave things like this." 
 
The habituated players aside, new players would immediately stop dropping by. 
It was unlikely that there'd be people who'd want to come to a world where all of a sudden swords come falling from the sky killing them without knowing what to do. 
"Wouldn't it be better if we had Azrael focus on fixing bugs?" 
"Sasaraki, that's naive." 
"How so?" 
"An amateur can't fix bugs in a VRMMO." 
"Did you just negate Azrael's whole meaning of existence here?!" 
"Listen to people until they're done talking— especially if they're a gamemaster." 
Alice laughed a "Fufun," and looked at Azrael. 
"A divorce system is pretty complicated to make, you know? Managing the player relationship flag established by the wedding ring, the item sharing, or Youth Protection Code connections… if she can tackle this kind of complicated system with that passion, Azrael will soon be an amateur no longer." 
In other words, she probably wanted to say, 'If you've got the motivation, learning's a piece of cake!' 
"Plus, I've things to do, too." 
"What things?" 
"I've to make a roadmap on how we plan to improve our game, and prepare the application papers for the 'Neo Virtual World Funding Organization' financing offline, and— Well, boring stuff. Let's have Azrael master programming in the meantime." 
If it's that... , Sasaraki also agreed. 
Then Azrael mumbled… 
"Alright… so this is the romance parameter… I got that much—" 
 
Azrael raised her hands and stretched. 
The revolving chair turned around. She met eyes with Sasaraki and the others. 
"Ah, you were all here?" 
"You didn't notice? That's some amazing… concentration…" 
Sasaraki lost his words along the way; because a squall blew all of a sudden. 
Even though it was a closed room. Azrael was wearing her usual black mini skirt, and so the skirt was swaying and fluttering in the wind. 
Hence, if we were to put it frankly— he saw a white, tri-angled piece of cloth. 
"—KYAAAAAAAAAA—?!" 
She panicked and pulled down her mini skirt to conceal it. 
"Wai—… Wha— D-D-Did you see 'em—?!" 
Wow, what should I say now... but white, huh? Those were unexpected but they do suit you, do you actually wear white in real life too, they made my heart skip a beat, no wait, if I tell her those, Azrael will kill me, anyways I need an excuse fast—?! 
"I didn't see anything! Nothing white for sure, alright—?!" 
"So you totally did see them—?!" 
"Waa~h! A standard lovers' quarrel, isn't it?!" 
"Wind's nothing unpredictable here. You should've taken a harder look." 
Lizna and Alice voiced their discontent and absurdities. 
"Why—?! Why's there wind blowing indoors—?!" 
"There's a reason to that." 
Alice answered in a calm tone. 
"If you're wearing a mini skirt within the test area, the squall chance increases by 20%." 
"WHAT KIND OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT FEATURE IS THIIIIIIIIS—?!" 
 
Azrael groaned while holding down her mini skirt. 
"Wait, this was sexual harassment just now, wasn't it?! Fury! Fury, where are you—?!" 
"Aye-aaaye? I'm Fury-chan, your fairy savior?" 
The moment Azrael had shouted that, the small fairy in her dress appeared in the air. Her name was Fury, an AI acting as the contact for players to voice their complaints and bug reports. One of her duties was to bomb players who sexually harassed others, actually that was the sole duty she really made an effort to see through. 
She just couldn't resist the pleasure she felt when killing players. 
"Sadly, Fury-chan didn't see any sexual harassment here?" 
Fury giggled and winked at Sasaraki in a cute pose. 
"Sasaraki peeked at my panties, you know—?!" 
"That's no sexual harassment?" 
"Wha—?!" 
"After all, in the system you both are registered as newly weds~?" 
She pointed at Sasaraki and Azrael alternately. 
Then her cheeks blushed and she concealed her mouth with her hands. 
She said as if telling a secret… 
"You can do those 'various things' listed in the Youth Protection Code Violations, you know??" 
"Va—?!" 
"rious—?!" 
Fury chuckled while Sasaraki and Azrael's voices overlapped. 
"Fury solved your problem, didn't she? I'll excuse myself, then?" 
 
She spun in a circle and her figure disappeared. 
Left were Azrael and Sasaraki, looking at each other simultaneously. 
—You can do those 'various things' ? 
Fury's words from now rang in Sasaraki's ears. 
Mostly out of reflex, his gaze went from Azrael's breasts, to her hips, to her thighs. 
Various things— picturing that, his cheeks flared up. 
"Wai— Hey! What are you looking at?! Stop eyeing me, no fantasizing—!" 
She said, hiding both her breasts and thighs, and turning deep red. 
"I-I-I'LL DEFINITELY MAKE THAT DIVORCE HAPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN—!" 
* * * 
And so Azrael was as eager as ever to implement a divorce system. Sasaraki and Alice were in the middle of preparing the second floor, 'The End of the Endless Ocean,' set for release in two days. Lizna had taken on the role of the tummler who'd get the crowd excited and tell the players about its discovery, she held the script and mumbled her lines like an actress waiting for her appearance on stage. 
In the middle of this chaotic debugging room… 
Alice jumped on top of a mandarin box. 
"Well now, we've to pull ourselves together!" 
She sharply pointed at Sasaraki and shouted. 
 
"LET'S STATUS-QUO-CHECK, SASARAKI!" 
"Ah, yeah… Should we have a look at floor two's situation, then?" 
As of now, Sasaraki was in charge of gamemaster-related matters. Alice was the 
'General Management Assistant Goddess,' in other words, all she did was advising. Sasaraki had been nominated as the meeting's facilitator, but substantially, Alice - as the most knowledgeable one present - was the chairman. 
He thought that Alice should be the supervisor then, but it seemed like she wouldn't yield there. 
"Currently, we have a bunch of problems with the second floor." 
"What problems?" 
"First of all, this is the entrance." 
Alice showed floor two's entrance on the debugging room's main screen. It was an island with waves surging on the beach. In the center of it gaped a huge hole and a steel-made spiral staircase led downwards. That was the structure allowing players to go up after beating floor one's final boss. 
"The settings of this spiral staircase bugged and its duration's only 3." 
"Meaning?" 
"If someone attacks it, it'll collapse in a flash and no one will be able to move on to floor two." 
"Game breaking as always, these bugs, aren't they?!" 
This game was more or less game breaking in every way. Things could break instantly, people could die instantly, the economy was collapsing… 
And yet there were still players enjoying this game. 
People who still had faith in this world and lived on in it, more than ten thousand of them. 
What could they do to make the world they lived in go on? 
 
"What do you think we should do, Sasaraki?" 
"Hmm, give me a second." 
From the beginning, Alice had always asked Sasaraki for his opinion first. He thought that if she'd just decide it all, they'd obviously be faster and more efficient, but she seemed to have the ideology that, 'You shall be more independant as a game master!' 
Somehow, she seemed to feel a duty to raise Sasaraki. 
"How about an anti-gravity field that'll let people float up or something? I think there was something like that in the geography chip, wasn't there?" 
"Mhm-mhm, sounds like good thinking. Then let's try that!" 
For now, the three of them (Azrael decided to stay behind) teleported to the place in question. 
Sasaraki gripped the pendant dangling from his neck and booted up the 'Master Screen.' He commanded, "Map chip, spiral staircase for exchange anti-gravity field," to the huge screen that had appeared in front of him. 
[U n d e r s t o o d , M a s t e r . T e r m i n a t i n g . . .] 
In front of him, the spiral staircase disassembled into electrons. 
Instantly, an 'anti gravity field' in the form of a pentagram was placed on the floor of the dungeon. 
"Heeh~, so it looks like this? I'll try it!" 
Lizna said and jumped on the 'anti gravity field.' The next instant, Lizna was shot into the sky with absurd velocity. Seconds later, they heard the acoustically-delayed shockwave like a jet breaking through the sonic barrier. 
When Sasaraki looked up dumbfoundedly, a 'GAKON!' sound echoed in the skies at last. Lizna came dropping down and crashed into the 'anti gravity field,' which bounced her up again. Rinse and repeat. 
 
[Player Lizna Died. Damage: 680. Reason: Fall Damage] 
It said above Lizna's corpse. 
A short silence. Finally, Alice sighed… 
"Maybe we should prepare parachutes." 
"That's not the issue here?! Wait, why did Lizna deactivate the Invincible Barrier?!" 
"Eh? Because a world with no one dying's boring." 
He heard Lizna's voice, who was supposed to be dead. A special gamemaster privilege. 
Thirty seconds later, Lizna revived and returned. 
"Looks good! Let's keep it like this!" 
"This is like those traps that are aiming for the lot who's careless after clearing a dungeon, isn't it?" 
"We don't need those, okay?! Let's just do something normal, alright?!" 
In the end, they went with Lizna's idea and made it into a rock-climbing challenge. 
"Honest work, making stairs is honest work~?" 
While Lizna was singing an enigmatic song, they put rocks on the wall. It were adjustments to make it into a rock-climbing scaffold. They could leave it to a fairy by using the 'Master Screen,' but the fairy's work would be half-assed, so there'd be hardly any testing or adjusting. 
The gamemaster tools were one example of many of how half-assed this game was. 
"I wonder whether this kind of work will become easy-peasy once Azrael-san did her best?" 
 
"Actually, wouldn't it be better if we left it to adults, to begin with?" 
As Alice had said already, Azrael and they, too, were beginners, after all. 
He felt that within the player base there should be people a bit more resourceful than them. 
"Sasaraki… unfortunately that's impossible. 
Alice expressed a desolate smile. It was the smile of an adult. 
"Why?" 
"If an adult with decent judgement works as a developer in this world, they run away after three days in average." 
"Isn't it plain sad that I totally understand?!" 
"Also, if we hire an adult, we'll have to pay them, right?" 
Will we be fine, though…? Well, at least we're not fussed about money. 
"Well then, leave this to us, you have different testing to do." 
"Yeah… Ah, it's about time, anyway. I'll go back to the debugging room for a bit." 
In this game, a married man shan't talk to girls other than his wife for too long. A violation led to account deletion. According to Fury, it was an anti-infidelity measure. The developers had been true weirdos, indeed. 
Alice winked and waved her hand. 
"Please be gentle to Azrael, okay?" 
"The way you're putting it is the worst!" 
"You're also happy to have been able to marry that girl, aren't you?" 
"This isn't a matter of me being happy or not, it wasn't mutual, it was a bug!" 
"You think the bug was the only reason?" 
"Heh?" 
 
"Fufu," Alice chuckled and expressed a smile heavy with meaning. 
"A love you embraced once doesn't easily vanish, you know? Even if—" 
Alice extended her hands and said as if she talked to the whole world. 
"—it was an incident within a kusoge, right?" 
* * * 
"Ah, she's still on it." 
Once he'd returned to the debugging room, he saw Azrael still typing away on the keyboard. 
Since she'd taken off her usual cloak, her body line was well-perceivable. 
He'd been thinking this since the day they met, but her body was absolutely stunning. 
"Not good, I can't become conscious now—!" 
Sasaraki shook his head. It had been a mere misunderstanding that led to Azrael and him getting married, there'd been neither romance nor love involved. Fury said that since they were married they could do 'various things,' but— 
Suddenly a question came to his mind. 
In this kusoge world, where you'd get married by just holding hands— 
How far might those 'various things' be implemented? 
"T… That even this kind of thing's digitalized… No, that's probably only natural, but…!" 
 
He could hear Azrael speaking to herself. 
It appeared she was typing on the keyboard to process something. 
"This is bad, seriously bad, if I don't get divorced, my chastity will…!" 
Her voice sounded like she felt a serious thread coming at her. Her shoulders were trembling. 
"...Azrael, what's wrong?" 
"HYAUN—?!" 
She jumped up like a surprised hamster and turned around immediately. 
Her cheeks blushed a deep red, making a panicked face like a child who had their secret peeked at by their parents. 
"N-N-N-N-Nothing at all—! Close your eyes for now, Sasaraki!" 
"Heh…? My eyes? Why?" 
"Just do it, hurry—!" 
Then Azrael accidentally bumped her elbow against the console behind her. 
It looked like she hit some kind of switch, the main screen started up. 
And on it— was something unexpected. 
"No, Wai— Stupid! Idiot! Don't look! Look away—!" 
He didn't even notice Azrael's figure who wildly waved about with her arms. On the screen was amazingly detailed data. Azrael's data. Height: 156cm. Weight: 49,8kg. Three sizes: 88-57-83— 
"Wait, what is this data?!" 
"DON'T LOOK, PLEASE DON'T LOOK, STUPIIIIIIIIIID—!" 
Azrael shouted, drew 'Magical Sword Gram,' and threw it at Sasaraki with all her might. 'Magical Sword Gram' came flying at Sasaraki spinning like a helicopter, deflected off of his Invincible Barrier, bouncebladed (*A phenomenon where 30 
one's own blade comes bouncing back to oneself. A frequent happening in this game.), and killed Azrael instead. 
"........................Uwaah…" 
While Sasaraki was being speechless, Azrael revived and returned. 
"WHY'S MY INVINCIBLE BARRIER NOT WORKIIIIIIIIIIIIING—?!" 
"That's the difference in master ranks, you kno~w??" 
A bright, explaining voice. Before they knew it, Fury had appeared at their sides. 
"Fury, what's a master rank?" 
"Those are the ranks among gamemasters?" 
Fury pressed a button and the picture on the main screen changed. 
It showed a pyramid diagram, divided into layers. 
"The world of gamemasters is a strict hierarchical society? Starting from the bottom, the ranks are: 'Associate,' 'Coordinator,' 'Administrator,' 'Wizard.' And currently, Azrael is an 'Associate'? In other words, she's an underling, so her Invincible Barrier's useless in the face of her superior?" 
"Wha—?!" 
"Eh…? But Azrael can alter the code without issues, can't she?" 
"That's because Master granted her the ability by his 'Wizard' authority?" 
Fury pointed at the 'Immortal Pendant (Imitation)' dangling from Azrael's neck. 
"It's no problem to grant temporary privileges?" 
"Eh…? W-Wait a sec!" 
Azrael hugged her own body tightly. 
"Are you saying that I wouldn't be able to resist if Sasaraki turned on me—?!" 
"Ah, it'll be fine, if something were to happen...?" 
 
"...You're going to save me?" 
"...I'll make sure to videotape it? As a momento of your first time?" 
Azrael grew speechless. As did Sasaraki. *thumpthumpthump*. Even if it's just a virtual world, this is going way too far— Well, as long as I control myself, we'll be fine— Yeah, we'll... be fine, right?! 
"C-Can't resist if…" 
Azrael blushed and glared at Sasaraki, mortified. 
Poor Azrael , Sasaraki thought and decided to ask… 
"Hey, can't you put Azrael's privileges on the same level as mine?" 
"There can be only one 'Wizard' in this world?" 
"No way…" 
"Ah, there's one method, you know??" 
"Namely?" 
"If Master would delete his account, that'd work?" 
He took a deep breath. 
"That's what my former master did and the privileges could be transferred, right??" 
"That's…" 
Account deletion. In this world, it held the same meaning as death. Sasaraki would disappear as a player. As long as you weren't banned, you could make a new account, but under the pretext of something like 'to avoid the creation of fraud accounts,' there was a restriction that wouldn't let you create another account for at least a month. 
One month. At that time this game would've already ceases service. 
"Uuuuuuh…" 
 
Azrael grumbled frustratedly. 
Not good. I've to get her to accept our situation. 
I can't delete my account now, I've to make sure the game goes on. 
"Hey, Azrael, I won't do anything." 
"...Says the imposter who tricked me into marriage…" 
"Ugu—!" 
That one still stung. Although she, in a way, had reaped what she sowed, it was the truth. 
Azrael stared at Sasaraki for a while. 
Finally, she sighed. 
"—Swear it." 
"Heh?" 
She said that. 
"That you won't do anything weird, swear by something precious to you." 
"...Err, you want me to promise it?" 
Even if he did, there was no system in this game that'd make sure he kept his promise. 
Azrael nodded and glared at Sasaraki. 
"C'mon, just do it already." 
"Y-Yeah, alright, alright. Err— by something precious to me—" 
Precious. 
Asked that, the first that came to mind were the faces of those two girls. Lizna, who had invited Sasaraki with a carefree smile when he first logged in and was all alone. And the girl who had been waiting on top of the castle walls with her cloak fluttering in the wind, looking like the heroine in a tale— 
 
"—Azrael." 
It came to him naturally. 
"...Eh?" 
Sasaraki smiled. 
This world was beyond repair, but he had found something precious nonetheless. 
Even just that alone was good enough to let him think this world had its worth. 
"I swear by you." 
"E-Eh—?!" 
Azrael expressed surprise. 
Sasaraki closed his eyes and slowly put his sword on the ground. 
Imitating Azrael, who always did it like this, he kneeled formally. 
"I swear by someone precious to me— I wager the name of Azrael that I absolutely won't do anything insolent." 
"Eh? W-W-Wai—…" 
Azrael's voice grew shrill for some reason. 
"...Err, will this do?" 
"Eh?" 
Azrael busily shifted her gaze from left to right and back. 
Finally, she shook her head, trembling. 
"M-M-Me, someone precious…? E-Eh—?" 
"Huh? Something wrong with that?" 
"Not wrong, but, I, umm, that means…" 
"Most precious to me is Azrael… as are Lizna, and Alice." 
 
"Eh?" 
Azrael's jaw dropped. 
"'Cause, you know, you're the friends I'm playing this game with." 
Azrael closed her mouth and stiffened for a bit. 
At last… 
"D— Don't put it so ambiguously, alright?! If you're talking about friends, say so from the beginning!" 
"Eh…? What was ambiguous about that?" 
"I don't care—! Idiot! Die from a bug!" 
Azrael blushed and turned away. 
She cast a sidelong glance at Sasaraki and said a few more words… 
"B-But I'll believe it… that you won't do anything weird." 
It appeared that it had had a bit of an effect, after all. 
"Yeah, thanks… So did you come to understand something about how we can get divorced?" 
When Sasaraki asked that, Azrael grew silent feeling seemingly awkward, "Uh~" 
That was to be expected, but the progress seemed unsatisfactory. 
"F-First of all, there seems to be a system called 'Tokimeki Points' (English: Palpitation Points)." 
"'Tokimeki Points'... Somehow, this sounds like from some romance game, doesn't it?" 
Azrael nodded. 
"Looks like you can check up on them by tapping on the ring twice." 
"Hmm. Have you tried?" 
 
"It wouldn't work. Only boys can check on the girl's points." 
"Sounds like a pretty unjust system." 
"Wanna read the developer commentary? Seems like he holds a big grudge, you know?" 
"I've nothing but bad feelings about it, but I'll read it anyway." 
Azrael slammed onto a key on the keyboard. 
A text appeared on the screen. 
['TP' System Explanation 
The TP system is a subsystem of the romance system. While visualizing fellow players' affection in the form of points, it strives to make riajuus (explode and die!) realize the truth that 'love = self-interest' by offerings merits. 
You can gather TP by performing 'Tokimeki Actions.' What are Tokimeki Actions? 
Don't make me say it, you scum, die. Who was it that brought something as boring as love into a virtual world? Anyway, die. And don't revive. My bad. I'll continue with the explanation. 
Also, by using TP, you can make miracles happen. Love can make miracles happen. Once performed, it'll disappear. Love's a consumable. Save it up again. 
Also, if you save up too much, you'll explode. Only your clothes. Love is explosions. Explode and die, you bastards, all of you, die a social death. 
Girlfriend-less, 38-years-old Tanaka] 
"........................Amazing…" 
"I know, right?!" 
He certainly could feel the grudge. It went down his spine as a chill. 
 
They had totally been made to clean up other people's outrageous mess. 
"So, Sasaraki, let's check the points for now." 
"Yeah. Our clothes might explode, after all…" 
For the time being, he did as Azrael had said and tapped on the ring twice. 
Thereupon, a window appeared above Azrael's head. 
[Current TP: 250 Count: 00] 
"It says we're at 250 right now." 
"Is that a lot?" 
"Aye-aaaye? Looks like it's Fury-chan's turn, doesn't it??" 
Fury fluttered above Azrael's head. 
He had a bad feeling coming at him right there. This fairy caused him nothing but bad feelings. 
"First of all, there are TP criterions: Above 100, you're acknowledged as lovey-dovey?" 
"........................Right…" 
Azrael glared at him with quite the amazing look in her eyes. Scary. 
"If you accumulate too much, you'll explode, but there's no limit as such. You can gather a million or fantastillion points even? Your love's infinite?" 
"Wouldn't that cause a system memory overflow…?" 
"And when your TP are high enough, you have various benefits." 
Fury continued her explanation with a smile. 
"At 150, 'Fantastic Kiss' will unlock?" 
 
"I don't think I wanna hear it, but what does that skill do?" 
"Kissing your partner on the cheek will grant you a buff that boosts your attack power by 50% for 30 seconds?" 
"............Gu…" 
Azrael's gazed at him with upturned eyes. Reflexively, his gaze got drawn in by her lips. Her pink lips. While he did his utmost best to suppress the thought that it certainly did feel like touching those lips would up his attack power, Sasaraki laughed a deceiving "Hahaha." 
Azrael averted her gaze, too. 
Right, Azrael and I are (married but) no lovers. 
I shouldn't forget that! 
"E-Enough with that. We won't ever use that! We'll never gather any more points!" 
"E~h?? And here I thought that the 500 points skill would be super useful to you?" 
"Never ever! Gonna use that—!" 
Azrael declared firmly while slamming her hand onto the console. 
"By the way, what does that 'Count' thing besides TP mean?" 
"Kya~? Master's such a lecher~ Oh you little, you~?" 
Fury put her hands to her cheeks and shook her head while wriggling with her body. 

"It shows how many times you've loved each other, of course?" 
"That means—" 
"The 'Direct Mucous Membrane Contact' count?" 
Fairy-san dropped the bomb. 
 
"WHA—?!" 
"WHA—?!" 
"Ahahaha, did you two picture it just now?? You did, didn't you~??" 
Azrael and Sasaraki had raised their voices at the same time. 
"Ah, 'Direct Mucous Membrane Contact' means kisses, of course? Ehehe~?" 
You totally wanted to make us visualize that, didn't you?! Without thinking, he gazed at Azrael's face. The black-haired girl who had captivated his eyes seemed to suddenly realize something as her face flared up and she took a step back. 
"Wai— W-W-What did you think she was talking about—?!" 
"Nothing! I thought nothing—!" 
"Liar! You obviously did! And here you promised something minutes ago, remember—?!" 
"I said I thought nothing, really, alright—?!" 
BING! They heard something which might as well have been a sound effect in a quiz show. Beside Azrael's TP it said [+10 Charming Lover's Quarrel]. Her TP 
rose to 260. Azrael's face broke half into tears. 
"WHY WOULD THEY INCREASE BECAUSE OF THIS—?!" 
"They're designed to increase when something's judged as a lover's quarrel?" 
"WHO'S DECIDING THAT—?!" 
"I, of course?" 
"The worst jury ever!" 
The three of them kept on arguing like that. 
"W-We've wasted our time…" 
Azrael took a deep breath. 
"Anyways—! We've to divorce as quickly as possible, Sasaraki!" 
 
"Ah, yeah… But what methods are left to try?" 
"If we put it simply, it should be enough to just destroy the rings, right?!" 
Azrael extended her right hand into the air. Her ring sparkled brilliantly. 
"The marriage flag's ought to be controlled with this ring!" 
"But the wedding rings are 'Indestructible Objects,' right?" 
Indestructible Objects were, as the name implied, objects that couldn't be destroyed. Putting it the other way around, everything else could be destroyed. 
Floors, walls, ceilings, you name it. And so some of the first city, 'Start,' had been razed and was reminding of the post-apocalypse. 
Right after they'd gotten married, Azrael had tried to strike at it with 'Magical Sword Gram,' but it hadn't yielded an inch. 
"To begin with, wouldn't it be contradicting if an indestructible object could be destroyed?" 
"You're naive, Sasaraki!" 
Azrael wagged her finger, "Tsk, tsk, tsk." 
"If it's this bug-infested game— we can force our way past contradiction!" 
"Yeah… Right, you could say that, probably." 
"Right? Right?!" 
All of a sudden, another bing and +10 TP. Total: 270. 
"WHY—?!" 
"This was clearly a 'Charming Lover's Quarrel' right now?" 
Fury said and expressed a lovely smile. 
"Ku… Aaa—h, I don't care anymore! C'mon, Sasaraki, we're gonna go look for it!" 
"Eh? Look for what?" 
 
"An item or skill that looks like it might be able to penetrate 'Indestructible Objects.'" 
"So we're basically looking for a bug, aren't we?" 
"That's right. Got a problem with that?" 
"No, not really. It'll probably help with development, too." 
Finding a way to break 'Indestructible Objects' was also necessary for their game development. If you want to know why, thanks to the half-assed flag settings, monsters out in the fields occasionally became 'Indestructible.' 
So-called 'Immortal Monsters.' If you happened to encounter one of them, all you could do was run. Though according to Fury, "It's a feature to spice the game up with a little more suspense? " If they could squish that one, going on an adventure in the fields would get plenty more normal. 
But is there really a skill like that—? 
"Of course there's something like that, Master?" 
"Eh—? Fury, do you know something?" 
"Of course I do? Didn't I tell you? Love can make miracles happen?" 
Fury formed a heart with her hands while her cheeks blushed. 
"The 500 TP skill is called 'The First Cake Cut'? As it's your first action in unison, you're allowed to cut up 'all objects' like a cake— that's the skill?" 
* * * 
Their current TP were 270. 
They needed to gather 230 more points, quick. 
 
There seemed to be a limit to how many times you could get them through Lover's Quarrels, so repeating that wasn't an option. 
"'Direct Mucous Membrane Contact' would get you 300 points, you know? ? " 
Fury suggested and was shot down by Azrael immediately. However, other, similar activities were 'Take a bath together' or 'Warm each other's bodies in a snowy mountain cave,' all of them were, well, very telling of the developers' own desires. 
They were terrifyingly funny in the head, for real. 
"Sasaraki! Can't you do something about the parameters with the 'Master Screen?!'" 
"N-No… Protection in the player domain's tight…" 
The 'Master Screen' was an all-purpose tool indeed, but character or item data was strictly protected by some 'anti cheat' program or something. You needed a specific item to lift protection, but Fury had disposed of it. 
Although they were supposed to be gamemasters, they couldn't fiddle with the data at all. 
Because of that, no matter how long they'd try their best and what they'd do, this game'd stay a kusoge forever. 
In any case, the activity they picked from the set at hand was— 
"Sasaraki! Don't you dare! Don't you dare to turn around!" 
"I-I got it already! I won't turn around, promised!" 
They were at the upper reaches of floor one's final dungeon, 'Frostmountain' 
cavern. 
Outside the cavern a snowstorm was roaring - that kind of place. 
 
In there, the two of them were sitting on the floor, grasping their knees, while both of their backs were touching. By the way, their backs were bare. They were performing the Tokimeki Action 'Warm each other's bodies in a snowy mountain cave.' If they warmed each other's skin for 15 minutes, they'd gain 250 TP. 
"T-This is the relatively lesser evil…!" 
Azrael had said after she'd made her choice in mortification. 
Certainly, if you compared this to the other 'Lovey-Dovey Activities,' which could only be described as 'stuff real lovers do,' then this one's description was still kind of okay-ish. In short, as long as they warmed each other's bodies, it'd be fine. 'If we don't have to hug from up front, it won't be embarrassing!' Such had been her reasoning. 
And so he was back-to-back with Azrael. 
Now that they'd been like this for a while, Sasaraki's state of mind said this: 
—It was totally embarrassing. 
"........................" 
"........................" 
While surrounded by the snowstorm, both of them didn't say a word. His consciousness was focused solely on his back as it was touching tightly with her's. Since 'Pain Reality Control,' which relieved one's sense of pain, did its job, he couldn't feel the cold. However, he could feel the warmth. The warmth of a girl. 
And she was really hot. 
Her blood seemed to have accumulated in her shoulder blades, the spot where they were in contact. 
 
"...S-Sasaraki… how long since we started…?" 
"Eh?! Err… O-One minute and 15 seconds." 
"YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT—?!" 
Every time Azrael said something, her back vibrated. 
Just from that much, Sasaraki couldn't help but feel nervous. 
How to put it— her back was warm, and he in unrest. 
"...A-Azrael, maybe we should stop this, after all…" 
Frankly, he didn't think he could endure this for another ten minutes and more. 
 
 
 
"Never—! W-We have to hurry up and get d-divorced!" 
And so on she said while also feeling pretty embarrassed with tears seeming to find their way into her voice. 
"P-Plus, if we're able to bypass the 'indestructible' attribute, it'll help with development and all…" 
"Well, but look, if we just took it slowly to gather points…" 
"Then the service will be done for until we're done, right—?!" 
"...That's also true." 
To get divorced even a second faster, they 'Warm[ed] each other's bodies in a snowy mountain cave.' 
Though, he felt that no matter how you looked at it, they had their priorities backwards. 
"Uuuh… I-I definitely won't lose to this kusoge…!" 
He could feel Azrael's body tremble through her back. 
Since she couldn't feel the cold, it had to be anger and/or embarrassment. 
"...Sasaraki, say something—!" 
"Eh—?!" 
"If you keep quiet, this'll get even more embarrassing, right?! Talk!" 
Was her unreasonable logic, but being told such things by Azrael was his weak spot. 
"Err… Sorry, it wasn't on purpose." 
"What was?" 
"The marriage thing." 
A short while passed. 
"...I know that much." 
 
She said with a voice that'd gotten a little more composed. 
"Okay." 
"But I definitely won't forgive you." 
"Eh—?!" 
"Turning this Deathbringer Angel into an unvirtuous girl… I definitely, definitely won't forgive you." 
She said in a pouting tone, behaving like a spoiled child. 
Sasaraki gulped. Even he himself felt that he'd done something truly unforgivable. 
"Azrael… I mean it, I really am sorry." 
"I won't forgive you that you're apologizing." 
"I'll take responsibility." 
"Eh?" 
Azrael stopped dead. 
"I-I-It'd worry me if you took responsibility!" 
"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm going to take responsibility by getting us divorced." 
"Ah—" 
Azrael stopped dead again. 
"S-So that's how you meant it… say so from the beginning… Stupid…" 
"Sorry." 
"All you do is apologizing." 
Another moment of silence passed. 
"...Do you really feel that sorry about it?" 
 
"I really, really do!" 
"I wonder…" 
Azrael said in a low and discontent voice. 
"Everyone's always saying that and it's all just words." 
She continued… 
"You're also… actually just making fun of me, aren't you?" 
"Heh? Because of what?" 
"Because of my roleplaying." 
Azrael sniffled. 
"Our former guild members were the same. They kept making fun of me, like, Death bringer Angel (lol), beta tester (lol), chuunibyou (lol). Lizna was the only one who really paid attention to me. Sasaraki, you're also just… making fun of me, right?" 
She had a persecution complex. 
Of course, Sasaraki wasn't making fun of her. They were living as adventurers in a fantasy world. From the time he first logged in, he'd strived to follow after Azrael's example, who was earnestly believing in this setting; and that hadn't changed. 
But if he'd say this up-front now, she probably wouldn't believe him. 
Because Azrael had grown timid right now. 
"...Remember the time when Lizna died before?" 
"Eh—?" 
Azrael reacted with a puzzled voice. Sasaraki continued. 
"You used your two swords to form a cross, right?" 
"...I did." 
 
"That was cool, you know? It felt like an adventurer custom." 
"...W-Well, forming a cross is a basic, right…?" 
Azrael's voice grew a bit more energetic. 
"And that sharp sound when you draw your swords has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" 
"............W-Well, I practiced that a hundred times over, after all…" 
Her voice grew even more excited. 
"You've also got that habit of taking off your coat when you're going to fight seriously, right? That also creates a nice atmosphere." 
"Ah, y-you noticed? That's right…" 
Azrael seemed really happy. 
"I've actually always been thinking that you're cool, you know?" 
"...Umm…" 
Azrael was hesitating. 
"Um……….. Umm, tha…" 
That moment. 
"Activity 'Warm each other's bodies in a snowy mountain cave' completed." 
The robotic system voice echoed. It appeared that 15 minutes had passed before they knew it. 
"A-Alright, we did it! Ah, don't you turn around!" 
"Yeah, got it." 
Right after he answered, the system voice echoed yet again. 
"500 TP Breakthrough Commemoration. Taking screenshot." 
""Eh?"" 
 
Their voices overlapped. *Shutter sound*. 
"Screenshot taken. Arranging display, please have a look and confirm." 
And such, a screen appeared in midair. The second he saw it, his heart was about to burst out of his chest. It had been taken from above facing Azrael sitting on the ground while hugging her knees. He could see her cleavage. He could see her big puffs. And he could see the tips, too. They were pink. 
"Kya…" 
A moment later, Azrael screamed… 
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—! DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK! DELETE! 
DELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE—!" 
"Wai— Azrael, d-don't run around there or I'll see 'em! I'm gonna see them—!" 
"Eh? Ah, NOOOOOOOO—! WHAT IS WITH THIS KUSOGEEEE—?!" 
Sasaraki totally agreed. This was a kusoge world. 
Wasn't it already an established fact that no matter what you did, it was bound to go wrong? 
* * * 
['The First Cake Cut' Explanation 
This skill destroys any object in this game. 'Indestructible' objects are no exception. The miracle of two people in love is an unrivaled power which transcends even systems. It forces its way through any contradiction. 
Love is almighty. Love makes miracles happen. 
 
The goal is to achieve implementing that kind of bullshit riajuu delusion into the game. 
And actually doing that took a shitload of time. Who thought this even up? Love should just die, seriously. I, Tanaka-kun, think that if we're putting something like miracles that force their way through contradiction and whatnot into the program they aren't miracles anymore. Period.] 
They had finally managed to gather enough points, so the two of them went to the second floor. 
Alice was still writing the application papers for the 'Neo Virtual World Funding Organization.' She made a presentation on how 'This game's an absolutely beautiful and perfect world.' Lizna wanted to come too, but Azrael had said, "This isn't an exhibition we're doing!" and shot her down. 
So they were on the second floor, work-in-progress, in a monastery on a small island in the ocean. Within, Sasaraki had changed into a smart-looking, white suit. He was the so-called bridegroom. Fury had said it was mandatory to put the skill into action and sent him off to change. 
She'd also changed into a bridemaid dress and quietly sat on a desk. 
When she looked at Sasaraki, she put her both hands on her right cheek and smiled an unnatural "Kya~" 
"Master looks so cool? As expected of a first-class marriage fraud?" 
"The marriage fraud was obviously your fault, you know?!" 
"Eh? But Master doesn't exactly dislike it either, right??" 
When Fury fluttered up, she drew close to his ears. 
"If you like, why don't you just force Azrael-san down??" 
"BU————————!" 
 
He spouted out with all his might. 
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, FURY?!" 
"Fury-chan's just a faithful slave to Master's desires?" 
Fury formed a heart sign close to her big breasts. 
"Azrael would hate me, so I refuse!" 
"Ara, ara? I don't think Azrael would dislike it that much?" 
"Eh—?" 
"After all, Master's quick-wittedness saved her from the abyss of death?" 
"No, that was just a mistake and misunderstanding." 
"It doesn't really matter if you did it because of a mistake, does it??" 
"It does, you know?! Doing something so important with her 'cause of a mis—" 
"Ahahahaha?" 
Fury suddenly began to laugh. 
"Master, what are you talking about? Mistakes are the truth behind this world, you know?" 
"Wha—?!" 
"Isn't…" 
Fury opened her narrowed eyes wide and stared at Sasaraki. 
"...The existence of this kind of kusoge world itself more or less a mistake?" 
She declared in a cold tone. 
"...Wha…?" 
"Master, look at this black hole over there." 
 
Fury pointed into a corner of the monastery. Over there, a black hole was hovering in the air. Just like a black hole you'd find in space, jet-black. It was born when the intersection of objects bugged out, a so-called 'Space Rift.' 
If an object (players included) touched it, they'd be forcefully teleported. 
It was one of the common bugs in this game. 
"That kind of bizarre phenomenon just naturally exists— just about everything's a mistake in this world." 
Fury smiled and continued… 
"It's a world where life, death, love, everything of worth just disappears by mistake." 
In the meantime, Sasaraki couldn't say a word. 
"And we're living in this kind of world, our existence in itself is a mistake, you know?" 
Fury gazed at Sasaraki with eyes that had no light in them. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. 
The silence prolonged. Fury was smiling the whole time. 
It was as if she was sneering at this world itself— 
"—Just kidding?" 
Suddenly she returned to her usual narrowed eyes and smiling face. 
"Master, don't worry about it? It's just one of Fury-chan's cute jokes?" 
"No… I kinda felt an awful shudder running down my spine there…" 
Sometimes, he could feel a kind of cold madness coming from this AI fairy. 
And it was similar to the madness he somewhat felt coming from Alice. 
"It's fine? I gave up on brainwashing Master when the chance arises?" 
"So you had that plan before?!" 
 
It felt like this AI might be way too scary. 
Hadn't she said those hopeless words from right now in all seriou— 
"Ah, Azrael-san is done changing?" 
The creaking monastery doors opened. 
"Come, come, let's go and greet the bride?" 
"No, rather, about what you said earlier—" 
He tried to poke his nose into Fury's business deeper. 
But the figure of a snow-white bride caught his eyes. 
"U… wah…" 
He uttered reflexively. 
And watched her in fascination. 
It was Azrael. Not Azrael in her usual black clothes, but clad in a pure-white wedding dress. Pink hair ornaments put accents in her long black hair and— 
Sasaraki kept gazing at her figure like that. Uwah— Uwaah, she's really, a real bride. 
Considering Azrael's nature, he hadn't thought that she'd just obediently wear it. 
"Uuh… it's for the divorce, all for the divorce…" 
Azrael's face blushed a little. 
"...Sasaraki. What are you spacing out for?" 
"Eh…? Ah, well, you know, I just thought you really look like a bride." 
"Wha—?!" 
Azrael's cheeks grew even hotter. 
 
"D-Don't get some weird misunderstanding—?! This is no real wedding ceremony, alright?!" 
"No, I understand that! I really do—!" 
Sasaraki shook his head violently. 
"You sure you understand that?!" 
Azrael drew her sword with her right hand and swung it. The tip touched the 
'Space Rift' Fury had pointed at earlier, and right after some kind of electric current had flashed, Azrael's figure was gone. 
"Ah—" 
*SPLASH*! 
Soon after, he could hear the sound of water from outside. When he hurried and went outside, he could see Azrael in her wedding dress fallen flat on the beach. 
It appeared she had been teleported there. 'Magical Sword Gram' stuck in the sand beside her like a gravestone. 
"WHAT'S WITH THIS KUSOGEEEEEEEEEEE—?!" 
Fury chuckled. 
"See? This world's full of mistakes, isn't it??" 
* * * 
The wedding ceremony with the two of them and one fairy progressed without an(other) accident. Azrael had wiped her drenched wedding dress, while it was clinging to her skin (the game was only this detailed when it came to that kind of stuff), with a towel. 
Sasaraki and Azrael were standing in front of Fury who was playing the part of the priest. 
 
"Yes, let us move on to the exchange of vows right awaaay?" 
Fury said with a smile while linking her both hands in front of her chest. 
"Bridegroom Sasaraki, do you solemnly swear to love bride Azrael even at times where you'll fight over rare drops, even at times where your house certificate gets lost due to a bug, even at times where your characters get deleted, even at times where you become rich due to a dupe glitch, and even at times where your items get lost due to a bank bug??" 
I pass on either. But it does sound like a vow you'd do in this game. 
"...I do." 
In any case, he nodded. It was a ceremony necessary to use the skill, he had no choice but to clearly state his agreement. 
When he sent a sidelong glance to Azrael, she looked away abruptly when their eyes had met for an instant. 
"Bride Azrael, do you swear to love bridegroom Sasaraki even at times where he cheats on you with Alice-san, even at times where he cheats on you with Lizna-san, even at times where he cheats on you with Fury-chan, and even at times where he abuses his GM powers to sexually harass female players??" 
"AS IF I'LL SWEAR THAT—?!" 
"They're just examples, mere examples?" 
"Every single one of your examples is way too disturbing, you know—?!" 
"Come on, do you swear it or not??" 
"Gu…" 
Azrael gripped the hem of her dress's skirt and looked seemingly vexed. 
"I-I do…" 
"Very well? You may now kiss the—" 
"Wait." 
 
"Stop right there." 
Their voices overlapped. 
"Eh? We have to do that, too?!" 
"It's necessary for the ceremony, you kno~w? Go ahead and ask Alice-san?" 
"Wha—…?" 
He exchanged looks with Azrael and felt his cheeks flare up. 
Eh? Kiss her? I get to kiss the beautiful face of this black-haired girl in her wedding dress—? 
"Wait, wasn't there that feature which will make her get pregnant when I kiss her?" 
"That's right, isn't it??" 
"THEN WE CAN'T DO IT, RIGHT?!" 
Azrael shouted. 
"But if you don't kiss, you can't get divorced, you know??" 
"IF I GET P-P-PREGNANT THEN THE DIVORCE'LL BE MEANINGLESS, ALRIGHT—?!" 
Azrael shouted with a beet-red face. 
"Isn't it fine? Pregnancy's not that far off when you're married?" 
"IT'S NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOT FINE AT AAAAAAAAAAAAALL—?!" 
"Fufu, what's wrong?" 
Fury stared at Azrael and winked. 
"If you get married or even pregnant in this kusoge— how does it matter??" 
"It does matter—!" 
Azrael replied right away. 
"N-No matter how much of a kusoge this is…" 
 
She cast a sidelong glance at Sasaraki and continued… 
"There are things you can and cannot do! Anyways, that's a no—!" 
"Eh~? You're not going to do it??" 
"Isn't there another way than kissing—?!" 
"It's not like there isn't?" 
Fury's cheeks turned red. 
"Other 'Direct Mucous Membrane Contact' than kissing's fine, too?" 
"Eh—?! Wha—, that's…" 
"In other words, se—" 
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" 
Azrael thrashed around with her arms wildly and then blocked Fury's mouth. 
"I can't believe it! What's with this sexually harassing fairy—?!" 
"If you do that, you won't get pregnant, you kno~w??" 
"That's weird, right?! That's obviously weird—!" 
"It really is weird, huh…? Actually, it's converse…" 
"What are you so calm for, Sasaraki—?!" 
"Well, how should I put it…?" 
Without question, it made his heart pound just picturing to— with Azrael, but on the other hand, when he looked at Azrael getting flustered like this, it helped him to calm down instead. It felt like his disordered self and his collected self were coexisting. Azrael's every single reaction really was flashy and charming, after all. 
He understood why Fury wanted to tease her. 
"So, Fury. There's another way than se… I mean intercourse, isn't there?" 
"Of course there is?" 
 
"Wha—?!" 
He'd thought that, considering this fairy's personality, she might be hiding something. 
"So what do we have to do?" 
"But this is the last straw, you'll have to lick these candies together?" 
Fury took out two orange lollipops. 
"It's 'Lover-Lover Candy' which will let you share your sensation with your partner." 
"Say from the start that there's something like that, alright—?!" 
"Fury's just a faithful manservant to Master's desires?" 
While they kept quarrelling like that, they both accepted the candy and started to lick. 
The moment he licked it, an indescribable feeling overcame his tongue. 
*Shudder*. *ShudderShudderShudder*. *nuzorinperururushiija*. 
"U-Uwah, what is this…?" 
"The sensation of an indirect kiss?" 
"Uh… H-Hurry an' hinish it, Shasharaki." 
Every time he licked, a strange sensation came from the candy itself. Uwah, maybe this is… the sensation of Azreal's tongue…? When he couldn't keep himself in check and dared to look Azreal's way, she was seizing her mouth and gasped erotically, "Nuuuuuh…" 
Oh God. 
This is really lewd. 
His body and soul were colored an amorous pink. 
Wait, isn't this practically even lewder than just a kiss? 
 
*Nurorun*. *Rirorun*. *Rururun*. *Pirorirorin*. 
In his head the sound effect of their TP rising kept ringing. 
"Ah, you mustn't bite it? You've to like it until the end, okay?" 
"Uuuuuh…" 
Azrael and Sasaraki averted their gazes. 
If I'm careless, this'll get even more embarrassing than when we were back-to-back in that ice cavern… 
I-I've to clear my head… 
This isn't a kiss at all, it's just a businesslike procedure to gain TP. Anyway, it's innocent. I'm just innocently liking it, this candy that tastes like Azrael, this Azrael candy— It tastes so good— 
"Master's also becoming more and more of a perv, isn't he??" 
"Are you reading my mind sometimes?!" 
"Master and Fury-chan are just two of a kind?" 
This fairy really couldn't be trusted. 
In any case, they were done with the candy after two or three more minutes. He hadn't felt any taste from that candy. All there'd been was the excitement he felt from the slippery gummi candy that had pulsated in his mouth and his desperate endeavour to suppress it. 
Azrael seemed to have felt the same and was taking deep breaths to try to calm her mind. 
"C-C'mon, the vow kiss is done!" 
"Did it arouse you??" 
"Not at all—! C'mon, hurry and prepare the skill—!" 
"Aye-aaaye, setting up?" 
 
And five minutes later… 
Sasaraki had summoned a gigantic wedding cake, almost as tall as him, with the 
'Master Screen.' He and Azrael put their weddings rings on the cream. If they destroyed those two rings, their divorce was ought to be completed. 
"Hey, Azrael… Couldn't we destroy something else than the weddings rings with this skill, too?" 
"What a coincidence. I'm also in the mood to bury some evil fairy." 
"You two are so cruel, aren't you~??" 
Fury chuckled. 
"If you kill Fury-chan, this world will really fall to ruins, you know??" 
"Gu…" 
It was true. Although this fairy truly was evil, she administered a lot of important things like account bans or the punishment of sexual harassment. If she were to disappear, this game would probably stop to function for good— and so, even though she was vicious… 
"Let's put that off for later. Anyways, now it's divorce time, divorce time!" 
"When you cut the cake, you'll be divorced. That'd be the fastest divorce ever, if we were in the real world, wouldn't it??" 
"No doubt the developer wanted it to be exactly like this." 
He couldn't see it any differently, considering the disdain the developer had put into this feature until now. 
"Are you saying this was my former master's intention? That wouldn't be accurate?" 
"Eh? Is that so?" 
"This world has always been 'like this,' you know??" 
Fury chuckled and continued. 
 
"The Reality Control System— in short, RCS. It's the system which controls our world to make it possible that our players can live safely, happily, and perfectly in this VR world that is 'wrong' in every sense?" 
"Safely aside, they're neither happy nor is it perfect." 
"Because those two features are bugged?" 
"Do something!" 
"Don't worry Fury-chan with such demands?" 
While saying stuff like that, he prepared the sword to cut the cake together with Azrael. Not a knife, a sword. Namely, 'Magical Sword Gram.' With its purple aura. 
More specifically, the aura which raised critical hit chance by 20%. 
"Aren't we overkilling the cake?" 
"We've to make sure that it'll be crushed to pieces." 
"Looks to me like we'll bisect both the cake and the monastery." 
He didn't know exactly how powerful the skill was, but they'd been told something like, 'The power of two people in love can slice everything,' so it was probably tremendously powerful. Plus, by increasing it with a magical sword's power on top, he felt that this wouldn't end well. 
"Hey, wouldn't it be better if we used a normal knife?" 
"I don't want to do it like on some ordinary wedding." 
"But I'm having that bad feeling..." 
Fury's words from before were crossing his mind. That this world was 'wrong.' 
That it had been designed this way, that it was controlled by a system. He felt like they might cause an outrageous bug if they didn't plan it out carefully beforehand. 
Rather, he didn't think that things would go in their favor at all. 
However, Azrael laughed once more, "Fufun." 
 
"You're overthinking, Sasaraki. Why are you so worried?" 
"...If I had to put my finger on it, it's because you're the one who came up with this." 
"What do you mean by that?!" 
I mean that the plan will backfire. 
"No, well, yeah, let's give it a try." 
I really don't have any decent reason to doubt. 
Right, this world might be wrong, but that doesn't mean that everything's destined to fail. Maybe we're using a magical sword instead of a knife to cut the cake, but so what? Sasaraki calmed himself down like that and gripped 'Magical Sword Gram''s handle. 
Azreal put her hand on top of his. 
"Let's go, Sasaraki—! With this, our divorce is sealed—!" 
"Who are you trying to get fired up with this? Well, not that I mind— EII—!" 
Both of them swung the magical sword downwards and shouted… 
""THE FIRST CAKE CUT!"" 
Right after… 
A storm rose. 
"Eh—?" 
A torrent of light surged from the tip of the blade and the second it completely covered the monastery's interior, the light focused into a straight, vertical light pillar. It was like a gigantic sword beam that shot from the monastery's floor up to the ceiling and tore it apart; huge enough to even reach and pierce the sky. At least by rough estimation, it was a few hundred meters big lightning rift. 
And then it shot at the wedding cake with a 'KIIIIIIIIIIIII' sound. 
 
The floor crumbled. The wedding cake crumbled. The rings that had been put on it— flew off somewhere thanks to the storm. He didn't even have the time to think, 'Ah, we should've fixated them properly,' as the monastery itself was crumbling. 
*ZUZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON*! 
The vertical chasm destroyed everything. The monastery. The small island. The sea. It parted the sea like Moses in the bible story he had read back in the day. 
Then the water streamed back towards the rift - as broad as a man tall - that had been opened. 
 
 
 
The bottom of the sea had been torn, too. 
It'd lead to a ridiculously big chasm which looked like a waterfall now. 
After a while of silence, Sasaraki looked up into the sky. 
Aaah— the sky's purple— everything's as bugged as always, huh? 
"Alright, enough escapism." 
This world was wrong. 
It certainly was as Fury had said. 
"Wai… Eh? Wha—? Sasaraki, what are we gonna do about this—?!" 
"Let's go and ask Alice, for now." 
"Y-Yeah. Wait, why are you so calm?!" 
"Well, I thought things'd turn out like this, anyway." 
"WHY—?!" 
"Master's gradually gotten used to this, ri~ght?" 
Fury chuckled. 
It was the incident which'd go down as the first 'Magical Sword Moses' soon after. 
 





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