Chapter 2:
The Goddess Descends for the
Kusoge's Divine Purge
The next day.
Our four gamemasters and one fairy were in the debugging room. Alice ran a pen across the whiteboard. 'Sword & Magic Online Large-Scale Disaster Countermeasure Headquarters,' it said.
She slammed her hand on the whiteboard and turned towards the others.
"And so— we've got a fun state of emergency—!"
Alice flicked her fingers. Thereupon, a familiar scene appeared on the main screen, it was the first town, 'Start.' Though it looked vastly different from usual.
The sky had cracked. And water was downpouring from said cracked sky like a waterfall.
Hit by the water, the town was being flooded.
"UOOOOOOOOOOOOH?! WHAT IS THIS, WHAT KIND OF EVENT IS THIS?!"
"If you touch the water without specific items on you, you'll die instantly! Everyone, to higher grounds!"
"The sky… The sky's falling on our heads… (physically)"
They could hear the players' agonizing cries.
"........................Au…"
Azrael murmured next to him, feeling seemingly awkward.
"...I'm sorry, Alice."
No matter how you looked at it, that hole was Sasaraki and Azrael's fault.
"No need to apologize. Rather, this is our chance!"
"Eh? Chance?"
"Yeah, here, look, there are lovely people trying to save each other!"
Alice pointed at the Main Screen.
"Oooi, are you alright? Do you need a 'Swimming Potion?'"
"You got a spare?! I'll take it, thanks!"
"That'll be three c-rank or one b-rank rare, then."
"Are you trying to squeeze money out of me at the time of a disaster, you devil—?!"
"Uwahahahahaha, business is booming, alright!"
Such were the players trying to save (lol) each other.
"And? Don't they look like they're having fun?"
"In some way, maybe?!"
"If this incident makes the news in the real world, we're going to get new players!"
"Popularity through flaming, huh?"
"This is more like popularity through watering, right?"
Clever.
"Here, a mail from Kirine."
Alice flicked her fingers and the mail appeared on the Main Screen.
The sender was Watarai Kirine, the company president of 'EastEnd Games,' this game's development studio.
[To Alice From Kirine (who has the feeling that she doesn't get life) Hello, Alice. Are you doing fine?
I don't really know whether I'm doing fine or not, but I'm alive, for now.
Is it fun to be alive?
Ah, I'm sorry, questions of people like me don't matter. I'll start with my report.
The flooding of the first floor is a hot topic. Reactions of the 'Online Games for Young People' boards on social networks controlled by the government are: 'Another retarded incident lololol,' 'This game's way too fun (as long as you just watch) lololol,' and so on.
So the player count's rising temporarily. Just a bit.
Concretely, we've been gaining 20 new players since yesterday.
Ehe. Ehehe.
Kirine-san's really happy.
I'm so happy, I bought a can of joy.
Viva la flood!
Ah, but I can't lose myself in happiness.
The effect of this kind of event is just temporary, after all.
With everything flooded, people can't do quests or anything at all, so the player count will probably fall in the long run. So let's do something about the flood, first of all. Please do something. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm making it someone else's problem, I can't do anything but rely on you, Alice. I'm the worst. I'll go and die, after all. Eventually.
I'll be watching over you forever.
Please give it your best, Alice.
Go, Alice, go—!
- Kirine-san (Alcohol tastes good so I decided to live on)]
"As emotionally unstable and alarming as ever, isn't she?!"
Wait, she was obviously drunk from the second half on.
"She's pretty efficient even like this, you know? There's no one better at paperwork than her."
Alice continued with, "And she's the president, so she does it for free, right?"
"Back to topic, like I said there are good things about this, too. We'll have more players in swimsuits, etc."
She switched the screen and on it were a bunch of beautiful female players, taking a swim in their bathing suits.
"These female players naturally changed into their swimsuits. Sex appeal up!"
"Naturally…?"
Player count certainly did seem to increase as a result of this new sex appeal, but…
"But this will last for a day at best, right? They might grow tired of it before long."
"Stores, dungeons, and whatnot are flooded, so there's hardly anything people can do, right…?"
The flooded stores were more or less still functioning. NPCs in town were invincible, so they'd go about their business even underwater. However, the number of players who'd be able to get there was small. If they changed into swimsuits and used a swimming potion, they'd be able to swim to a certain extent, but there was a limit to even that.
"How about we provide free swimsuits for now?"
"Relief aid, huh? Should we let ten thousand school swimsuits rain from the sky?"
"That'd be a very unwelcome kind of shower, I think... Let's leave it to Fury."
"And we need some quests too, right?"
"Quests?"
"Quests instead of dungeon exploration, something that everyone can enjoy."
Alice winked.
"Sasaraki, can you think of something and implement it?"
"I don't mind, but what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to snap some swimsuit pictures of the players and turn them into a commercial."
Sasaraki thought that gamemasters really did just about anything.
* * *
Everyone but Alice went to the first floor.
'Start' had become a water metropolis. Since the town was situated in a basin, its castle in the central north part of town had been flooded almost up to its second floor. From the literally cracked sky above it, the ocean water still came gushing down.
Players couldn't swim. If they didn't have a swimming potion or -equipment with them, they'd instantly die when stepping into water of a certain depth. Hence, the players with neither potions nor equipment had climbed up to the roofs and were at their wits' end.
If they left things as they were, it'd certainly turn out badly.
"So if we want to make this an event, how exactly will we go about it?"
"We are able to address all players that are online more or less, but…"
By using the 'Master Screen,' you could project yourself onto the sky and speak to all the players. They could probably use it to act like a fantasy god and be like,
'I'm bestowing a task upon you.'
The problem was— if a mere boy like Sasaraki did that, they wouldn't buy it.
"This would be Alice's time to shine, but…"
She didn't really like the spotlight.
"Lizna kind of looks like a goddess, doesn't she…?"
"E-E-Eh? Really—?"
Lizna looked a bit embarrassed.
"But I'm not used to being a goddess, is that okay?"
"I think there's no one but Alice who's used to that."
"Wouldn't Lizna look the part if we dressed her accordingly? Sasaraki, get us something good-looking."
"Yeah."
Sasaraki operated the 'Master Screen' and summoned an item. 'Garment of Light' was its name and sounded worth the task. A robe out of silk, sparkling golden, appeared. The three of them went "Oooh~!"
"Amazing, amazing, amaaazing! I'll try it on—!"
Lizna said and began to strip her top.
"Waaait!"
"Hm? I'm waiting."
Lizna stopped dead upon Sasaraki's words.
She stopped with her arms crossed and hands on her top while she'd already pulled it up to her breasts.
"Lizna, what are you doing?"
"Changing."
"You say that so calmly, but you do realize that you shouldn't change in front of me, right?!"
He said while they were already at a point where he would've died if he weren't a gamemaster (due to Youth Protection Code Violation).
"Eh? But that'd be such a hassle…"
"LIZNA, HAVE SOME SHAME, WILL YOU?!"
Azrael shouted, obviously feeling embarrassed instead of her.
"Your normal get-up's already really revealing, but if you strip that too, you'll be in your underwear, won't you?!"
"Yeah, well, I'm fine if it's Sasaraki who sees it."
"Fine—?!"
Sasaraki's heart was close to detonating.
What was this defenseless, pink-haired girl saying?
"It's not fine at all?!"
"Eh? Why?"
Lizna inclined her head and asked.
"This is just a game… so why wouldn't it be fine? He'll only see my panties and bra."
"It's not! Not at all! As a lady, that's a line you must never cross!"
"I wonder… I think it's okay if it's Sasaraki-kun."
"Why do you keep saying it's fine as long as it's me?"
"'Cause you're only interested in girls with big breasts."
"That's some baseless defamation you've got there, alright?!"
"That's not true~" Lizna smiled cheerfully.
"Well, alrighty then. I'll go and change someplace else, okay~?"
She turned towards the other side of the roof and moved to a place Azrael and Sasaraki couldn't see from where they were standing.
While they were waiting, Azrael whispered something into Sasaraki's ear.
"Isn't that dress way too revealing? Who made that? So lewd."
"I don't think you're one to judge…"
Her mini skirt and cleavage were pretty revealing too and didn't make it easy on him to keep his eyes in check.
"D-Don't oggle me with those dirty eyes—! This was just the coolest-looking outfit."
He thought that rather than cool, it just had a lot of sparkling ornaments on it.
Anyway, they spent a couple of minutes talking about this and that, when...
"Okay, I'm done changing! How is it? Do I look like a goddess?!"
Lizna did a twirl with an energetic expression on her face and really did look charming.
She looked like the Goddess of the Lake who'd present them a golden and silver hatchet like in that fairy tale.
"Ah, that looks good, doesn't it? Can you spawn a 'Devil Axe' like 'Giant Ono' had, too?"
"It'd be scary if she had that with her, alright?!"
"Gods are scary, you know?"
And so on they talked while striking a plan for the players.
"So, um, I think we should go with this being a devil king's scheme."
"What's the big idea that makes him flood the first floor?"
"It looked like they'd beat the final dungeon, so he flooded it… or so?"
"I see, that sounds realistic."
Rather, it sounded like something they'd practically do.
"Then we'll make some adequate boss and say the flood will be gone if they beat him!"
Lizna said joyfully.
"So a kill quest, huh? But wouldn't the serious raid parties monopolize it?"
"So we're not making one, but a whole set of monsters."
"What kind of monsters could crack the sky and bring upon a flood?"
"Crack the sky… Cracking… Nutcracker…! Toys! Toy Soldiers!"
"That's so forced it's not good enough to be a bad pun even… Won't simple fish mobs do?"
The result of five minutes of (pretty silly) discussion was the placement of a thousand boss-type shark mobs, called 'Hyperspace Water Jaw (Naming by Lizna),' across town. Kill all these bosses and the water will retreat… was the idea.
It was Lizna's role to let the players know.
Lizna struck a triumphant pose and smiled.
Seeing that, Azrael expressed a dubious smile.
"...Isn't she lacking divinity for a goddess?"
She whispered into Sasaraki's ear.
"I was thinking the same."
No matter how he looked at her, she rather reminded him of a middle schooler at the performance of their drama club.
"But she's totally set on doing it."
"So all we can do is leave it to her."
They had their worries, but for the time being they nodded at each other.
And so the projection in the first floor's sky begun. Sasaraki tapped on the
'Master Screen,' a hymnal sound effect played, and Lizna's figure appeared in the sky. It was a gamemaster-exclusive skill, called 'Oracle of the Goddess,' which let one's voice reach all players.
"Ooh! What is it this time?!"
"Looks like a goddess, doesn't she?," "Looks like a goddess, huh?"
"I knew there'd be a server-wide event notice."
"You're all too noisy! Quiet down or I can't hear her!"
The players said.
Lizna cleared her throat with a cough and started talking with in a nervous voice…
"Can you hear me, everyone? I am talking to you telepathically right now…
Um, like this?"
"Scratch that last part! Just go on!"
"Ah, sorry, Sasaraki."
"And don't apologize to me!"
"Yeah, umm, ah, I'll introduce myself first. I'm Goddess Lizeltna."
Lizna announced her goddess-ish name in a pretty ordinary fashion.
"Err, um, I'm a gamemaster, basically a developer."
"A gamemaster, she says."
"A cute girl like her?"
"Then I might be able to forgive them the item loss bug."
He heard the player's kind of grudge-y reactions.
"I have something to tell everyone: This flood is no bug."
"A feature, then, huh?"
"Of course it's a feature."
"After all, there aren't any bugs in this game, right?"
Such were their capitulating reactions.
"It's the doing of atrocious demons, called 'Hyperspace Water Jaw.' If you bring them to their knees, everything will go back to normal."
"A kill quest, isn't it?"
"It's just like this game that they don't even have any background story, isn't it?"
"Should we really just forgive an MMO that floods its capital without warning?!"
Crap, we should've thought up a background.
Although I don't think we could've come up with anything reasonable for this.
"There are a thousand of them, by the way."
"OMG—?!"
"OMG—?!"
"OMG—?!"
"Everyone, give it your best! I'll be cheering for you! Later, then!"
Goddess Lizeltna's figure disappeared from the sky.
Lizna wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand and expressed a bright smile.
"How was I?!"
What can I say…?
"...Next time we'll leave it to Alice, after all."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH—?!"
Of course they would.
* * *
When the three of them returned to the debugging room, they were welcomed by Alice who was sitting on a mandarin box.
"Well, it was fine for the most part, wasn't it?"
Alice nodded with a smile, seemingly satisfied.
That was fine? Seriously?
"We've to rely on Lizna here. I can't show my face in front of the players."
"Why?"
"I'm a more or less famous person overseas, it'd be trouble if they saw me."
Alice had claimed to be well-known game creator. While he didn't know whether it was true or not, due to this century's famous and infamous 'Virtual Reality Reconciliation Law,' conformity between one's avatar and real appearance was obligatory (violation led to a prison sentence of five years or below).
If she was practically famous, it would be troublesome if her face was seen.
That aside…
"I've found a way to fix the water leak."
"That was quick, huh…?"
"I'm a genius, after all."
Alice wagged her index finger and stuck out her tongue. Cute.
"If you arrange 20000 sandbags with the 'Master Screen,' that'll do."
"That's some heavy work, alright?! Wait, sandbags?!"
"Sandbags are the all-purpose item when it comes to disaster control, you know?"
She let her feet dangle in the air looking like she was having fun, "Funf~n."
"Well, wouldn't it be easier to just morph the terrain or something?"
The 'Master Screen' was equipped with a mode that allowed one to alter the terrain, called 'Creation Mode.' Mountains, valleys, oceans, just by making a wish to the fairy, you could create things as you wished; the power of a god, indeed.
"Sasaraki, think about it."
However, Alice winked and said…
"Our fairy's work is— reaaally sketchy."
Alice wagged her finger.
"And exactly because her work's so vague, it'll definitely end up with a water leak."
"........................It really is as you said, huh?"
He'd gone through a lot of hardships just to set up a monastery on the second floor with the fairy.
He definitely wouldn't be able to do some decent disaster control with her.
"Okay. So would you spawn some sandbags for me on the second floor?"
"Why does it have to be sandbags?"
"'Cause they have the 'No Inundation' attribute."
"...So in other words…"
"Everything else could let it flood."
"Yaaay."
This world was as game breaking as ever.
* * *
"W-Well, but it's my duty to do something about this, right?!"
Sasaraki had refocused his spirit and gone to the second floor. Together with Alice. Lizna and Azrael were monitoring the quest they'd issued to the players.
Right now, 20 of the thousand mobs they deployed had fallen.
In accordance with the players' progress, Sasaraki was filling up the gap on the second floor with sandbags.
It was terribly mindless construction work.
"3000 sandbags, please."
"Aye-aaaye."
Once he'd operated the 'Master Screen,' an absurd amount of gray bags came falling from the sky. Alice flicked her fingers and the bags lined up at the bottom of the sea which looked like in the Moses' Ten Commandments story again (since Sasaraki had parted it with the 'Master Screen').
"I wonder whether God created the world like this…?"
"I think God's got himself a lot of excellent subordinates, right? Angels and the like."
"Which we don't, right?"
"We've got Fury."
"Absolutely out of question!"
They only had that bundle of evil that this fairy was.
"Looks like it's all up to me in the end, huh…?"
"Looks that way. Your 'Master Screen' is our lifeline."
Alice pointed at the screen that had been deployed in front of him.
"After all, that's the tool that allows you to do anything without restrictions."
"Yeah. A big responsibility, huh?"
Terrain creation, dungeon creation, object creation… He couldn't alter character or item data, but that aside, he could almost do anything. It was Sasaraki's duty to use that tool to better this kusoge even if just a little.
"If I were unable to use it, it'd be pretty bad, huh?"
"Rather, it'd be total checkmate, right?"
Alice nodded.
"We wouldn't be able to create the second floor, to fix bugs, nothing really."
"We'd be screwed, right?"
"Yeah, we'd be totally screwed."
They laughed a "Ahaha" together for a few seconds, then stopped dead.
"Hey Alice."
"I know what you want to say painfully well."
He had a really bad feeling.
Wasn't screwing them over exactly what this game did all the time?
"I-I'm just overthinking, right? Yeah… Ah, gotta add another ten thousand sandbags."
And more sandbags came piling up.
"Feels like we're dead-set drifting towards the fail flag, right?"
"Don't jinx it, alright?!"
"Another 5000, please."
"Y-Yeah."
*WHUMPWHUMPWHUMPWHUMP*— Silence.
The sandbags stopped spawning.
Red letters appeared on the 'Master Screen.'
[Not enough 'G Points.' Out of order.]
"........................Alice…"
Alice folded her arms and growled, "Fumu…"
"Sasaraki."
"Yeah."
"Gamemasters are ought to be composed at all times."
"Yeah."
"First of all, take a deep breath."
"Yeah."
Suu, haa, suu, haa.
"Have you calmed down?"
"Yeah."
Rather, he'd been calm from the start. He knew this would happen, anyway.
"Then let's think of a countermeasure."
"Yeah."
Such was their situation. And he thought, This game's really a kusoge, alright.
* * *
Once they'd returned to the debugging room, he read the 'Master Screen'
manual.
"This is really some kusoge, isn't it?"
"It undeniably is."
"THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE CALM, YOU TWO—?!"
Azrael shouted.
On the Main Screen was this explanation…
[Regarding the 'G Points' System
This feature is a 'really fun' system which will be introduced with patch ver. 37.
As to how fun it is: It will make gamemasters cry tears of joy.
In the following, you will be given an overview and feature background.
Overview
Every time you use the 'Master Screen' to spawn objects, terrain, dungeons, monsters, and so on, it will consume 'G Points.' Should your 'G Points' be exhausted, you will not be able to use the 'Master Screen' anymore.
Feature Background
Since we had complaints coming from the gamemaster part-timers, 'This job's like stacking stones in 'The Children's Limbo'' or 'This is as tedious as searching for a rigged 10 yen coin in the desert,' we decided to introduce this feature which will add game characteristics to the gamemaster routine.
How to Get 'G Points'
You start with a thousand points. We plan to make it so that each time a gamemaster clears a quest issued to them, they'll earn 'G Points.' We also plan to introduce these quests in patch ver. 38.
(End of document)]
Lizna inclined her head.
"And where's patch ver. 38?"
"It doesn't exist yet."
"That plan's not been planned out yet, huh?"
Alice and Sasaraki nodded to each other.
"THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE THAT CALM, RIGHT?! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
ABOUT THIS?!"
Azrael panicked for them. Yeah, this really isn't the time to be calm. We can't use our all-purpose tool, the 'Master Screen,' anymore. This is serious. As things stand, we can't prevent the flood leaking from the second floor; we can't do anything, really.
"But, well, all will be fine somehow, Azrael."
"Sasaraki, why are you so calm?!"
"'Cause you're in such a panic… I guess."
"Eh?"
"You know, if everyone'd be panicking, we wouldn't get anywhere, so I've to pull myself together."
"Wha—?!"
Azrael looked a bit happy, but soon pursed her lips together looking ill-humored.
"D-Doesn't that make me seem like a kid?! I didn't ask for that!"
"Is that so?"
"That's so!"
She insisted with her hands and feet, it made him all the calmer.
Yeah, I've to stay calm and do my best.
"As expected of Sasaraki-kun!"
Lizna applauded him. He started to feel a bit embarrassed.
"So, Alice, did you come up with a plan?"
"Two even."
"As you'd expected from our genius."
"Number one: I, the genius, will somehow deal with it. Number two: The comrades of the genius, I, will somehow deal with it."
"...T-The lack of detail aside, that plan's perfect, huh?!"
Calm down, stay composed, Sasaraki. You gave your word to pull yourself together seconds ago.
"I've a good idea then!"
Azrael announced proudly.
"The long and short of it is that we'll be fine if we do something about those 'G
Points,' right?"
Azrael let her coat flutter and laughed a "Fufun."
She struck a triumphant pose and displayed a proud expression.
All Sasaraki could see in that behavior was a fail flag closing in.
"What's with those eyes?!"
"No… You sure you'll be fine?"
She'd tried to fix the lag bug before - and ended up naked.
He was very worried.
"Ku—, I-I'll be fine! I did an awful amount of studying after that !"
Azrael insisted with a thick manual in her right hand.
"Even this kusoge… i-if we give it our best, it'll turn out decent, alright?!"
"I see… Yeah, that's it, huh?! Let's do our best!"
"What's with that gentle tone and look in your eyes—?!"
"Azrael-san! It's love!"
"Really?!"
"Eeh—?! No, it's not!"
"What else could it be?! Pity?!"
"If I have to say something, it's friendship… I guess?"
"Men and women can't be friends!"
"Eeeeh—?! Then what about you and me?!"
"We're in love, of course!"
"Where's the 'of course' in that?!"
It got more and more chaotic.
"Then, let's leave that part to Azrael."
"And what are you going to do, Alice?"
"I'll try and rig the news in the real world to help us get new players."
"............Good luck."
"You too, okay?"
Such was what they decided on.
* * *
Two hours later.
"I— I somehow did it!"
Azrael announced in apparent delight.
Did she finally succeed in programming…? Nothing like that, of course. She'd simply found the 'Data Cube' containing patch ver. 38. But anyway, she was delighted.
"Look, Sasaraki, you may praise me now!"
"Yeah. Good job, Azrael."
"This feels more like you're making fun of me, though?!"
"No, of course I'm not."
Frankly, he'd thought she was cute.
"But the problem's its contents, huh…?"
They decided to investigate the contents of patch ver. 38 for now. When they threw the red 'Data Cube' into the screen, together with a water sound effect, the cube sunk into it. Then its description showed up on the Main Screen.
[Patch ver. 38 Undeniably Flawless Gamemaster Training Program]
The name alone was full of bad omen, but they decided to read through it first.
It was a system that allowed them to gain 'G Points,' just as they'd anticipated. If they applied the patch, they'd be given an item called 'Master Ring' which allowed them to build an optional dungeon called 'Masters Hall.'
If players died a 'Happy Death' in there, they'd gain 'G Points.'
"Sounds like… Dungeon Keeper, huh?"
There were RPGs out there in which you'd be a dungeon keeper and repel the adventurers who dared enter it. It was fine to think of it as that kind of subgenre.
Actually, a gamemasters duties were probably pretty damn close to a Dungeon Keeper's.
However— there was one unclarified issue.
"What's a Happy Death?"
It probably wasn't euthanasia.
Azrael folded her arms and sunk into thought, "Hmm…"
"Maybe it's good enough to kill them while they're happy?"
"...How?"
"Just make them happy!"
"Yeah, how?"
"............Thinking of a way to do that…"
Azrael pointed at Sasaraki with sweat running down her cheeks.
"Is your job, right—?!"
"............Yeah, right…"
It wasn't like he wouldn't ever be able to think of something .
Plus, it was true that it was his job.
"Making them happy… Basically, if I let them have fun, that'd work, right?"
If people had a 'good game' in shogi or sports, they were happy. And it was possible to let players enjoy themselves similarly in this game. Sasaraki had let that happen with his own hands several times already.
When he'd created a tutorial dungeon for Lizna and Azrael, for instance.
Or when he massacred the players in floor one's final dungeon.
"Hm… I think I got the gist of it."
"For real?!"
Azrael leaned her body forward.
"Yeah. I think I can do it."
Once he'd said those words, Azrael's face suddenly broke into a smile just like a child's.
A smile that made her look like a small animal, he suddenly wanted to pet her head.
"Yaaay!"
Before he knew it, he'd fixated his eyes on her.
"Hm? What's wrong, Sasaraki?"
"Ah, no, n-nothing."
Sasaraki shook his head to get rid of the temptation.
If he touched her head now, he'd be accused of sexual harassment again. And he'd sworn to not be subject to that again.
"Then let's hurry and create a du—"
Just when Sasaraki wanted to say that…
"But are there players who'll come around to try it?"
Lizna interrupted him.
"They're in the middle of eliminating a thousand bosses, you know?"
"Ah, right… Wait, we don't even have the space to build a dungeon either, do we…?"
The majority of floor one had been flooded and the players were fighting with
'Swimming Potions' in them which allowed them to move in water. There probably weren't many players whimsical enough to shove the quest aside and go out of their way to challenge a dungeon.
"What should we do?"
"I've a great idea."
Lizna laughed triumphantly, "Fufufu."
"A great idea, is it?"
"Yep. Sasaraki-kun, do it like this—"
Lizna laughed another "Fufu," and did an impression of someone taking a pull on a cigarette.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Be a spy!"
"Hah?"
"Be a spy and lure the players into the dungeon."
* * *
In the skies above the flooded first floor.
Sasaraki used his 'Master Ring' finger and pointed at a roof with no players nearby. The wooden roof transformed making *BOKONBOKON* sounds.
That appeared to be the entrance to the 'Masters Hall.'
"Looks like it's done, right?"
Lizna said floating next to him. Alice had locked herself in a room for the sake of
'media manipulation.' Azrael was trying to do something with her programming as usual. And so Sasaraki and Lizna were left for 'G Point' farming.
"Let's hurry and find us some prey… I mean, pitiable lambs!"
"What you corrected it to is way weirder, you know?!"
"Whom should we pick, I wo~nder—"
Lizna naturally ignored Sasaraki's words.
"Well, yeah, whatever floats your boat… Err, I think I already have some players on my mind that'd fit."
"I see. It's better if you know the players you want to make enjoy themselves, right?"
"I wished I could've taken you or Azrael as the subjects, though…"
According to the explanation's complementary, the gamemaster mustn't be recognized as such by the 'Happy Death' subject.
"But Sasaraki-kun has no friends at all, right? Will you be alright?"
"Lately, your cruelty comes like a second nature, doesn't it, Lizna…? I do have friends."
"But, you know, Alice-san really isn't a friend, she's just your master."
"I said I have friends, alright?!"
They weren't many, but they were there.
Sasaraki looked for her using the 'Player Search.'
This feature wasn't gamemaster exclusive, ordinary players could use it too.
"Ah, look, she's over there."
At the spot he pointed at was a girl with long blonde hair, fighting with a Jaw.
"Her name's Rigel. I met her some time ago."
"Hmmm? A great name for a minor character fated to die, isn't it?"
"Your first impression on her name's overwhelmingly weird, you know?!"
Sasaraki cleared his throat with a cough.
"A-Anyway, I'll pick them for our plan."
"Yep. We'll bash their heads in while they're losing themselves in happiness, right?!"
This girl's way to put things was really kinda weird. She was also wearing an awfully dangerous smile on her face.
"Sasaraki-kun, our target's forming a party, you know?"
"Looks like it, huh?"
It appeared to be a party of three. One melee wearing a robe and a witch hat, and one melee in light armor. How he knew they were melees? There was no magic in this game, so equipment was just for fashion's sake - they could only be melees.
"Those three are cute, aren't they? Really makes them worth to kill, doesn't it?!"
"Lizna, never say that in public, okay?"
That aside, he felt like he'd seen those two before. If memory served right, those two girls were called Seshiriko and Sarapi. Seemed like they were the ones forming a party with Rigel.
"Well then, Sasaraki-kun, good luck on making a move on them for the murder, okay?"
"I told you, your wording's plain weird… Huh? Wait, you're not coming?"
"I'm playing the goddess, wouldn't it be bad if I appeared?"
"Hm, I see… I'll call you when something's wrong, alright?"
"Yep, give it your best, cheat on them and do 'em in, Sasaraki-kun."
Lizna kept saying unreasonable things until the end with her whole face smiling.
In any case, he descended from the sky and landed on a roof a bit apart from Rigel's group. Then he glued on 'Ninja Shoes' he'd prepared beforehand. It was a rare item that allowed you to walk on water.
Why he glued and not put them on, you ask? Because their model hadn't been implemented yet, so they looked like potions, and you couldn't put your feet into potions. At best, your little toe could fit into them. Nonetheless, as long as they touched your feet, they counted as 'equipped.'
Back to topic.
He drew closer to Rigel, Sarapi, and Seshiriko.
A fierce battle was unfolding between the girls and a 'Hyperspace Water Jaw.'
This shark-like mob, which Lizna had named, was about as strong as a group of five level 10 adventurers… the girls seemed to be at a disadvantage. All of them had their HP dropped to half already.
"What should we do?! We're in a pinch, Seshiriko-chan! Its shark teeth look so scary!"
"Calm down, Sarapi. I've a plan."
"Amazing, Seshiriko-chan! By the way, skip the part where you abandon me to run off, okay?!"
"........................There goes my plan."
"You're so cruel, Seshiriko-chan! Where are you, my prince on a white horse, c'mon!"
"We're in water so he's got to be riding a dolphin. Triton maybe."
"I see! So, my Triton on a white dolphin, c'mon—!"
"You two! Stop saying stupid things and fight seriouslyyyyyy—?!"
Rigel and her group quarrelled.
While closing in on their position, he thought that those three always kind of made him smile.
"KSCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—!"
"WAAAAAAAAH, HEREITCOMESHEREITCOMESHEREITCOMES! TRITON-SAMA, WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOU?!"
"Now it's time to cut the escapism and embrace your death, Sarapi."
"No, you two mustn't embrace your death, alright?! Just dodge it, okay—?!"
That moment, Sasaraki finally arrived at their location.
He positioned himself right between the Jaw, who was already baring its malicious teeth at them, and the three girls.
"So for now— TEI—!"
His sword flashed once. A shockwave unleashed from 'Sturdy Sword Alondite,' a sword of the strongest class which had been lying around in the debugging room - although its model was still unimplemented so it just looked like an ordinary 'Longsword' - and bisected the Jaw. The glittering of the boss monster's vanishing effect played and the boss disappeared.
For the time being, he seemed to have saved the three girls. Sasaraki turned around.
The three of them stood there with their mouths gaping and stared at him.
"Oooh…"
Seshiriko voiced her wonder first.
"Sarapi. Our prince on a dolphin arrived."
"............Mu…"
Sarapi stared at Sasaraki's feet.
"What should we do, Seshiriko-chan? It's a prince with potions glued to his feet…"
"You shouldn't nitpick on other people's fashion sense. Though it's really uncool."
"No… Yeah, well, it really doesn't look cool, does it…?"
Sasaraki laughed a feeble "Hahaha…"
"Wait, is that you, Sasaraki?"
"Ah, yeah, long time no see."
Rigel addressed him, he turned towards her and raised his hand.
From here on it's the difficult part. I've to lure those three into the dungeon cleverly.
"Thanks, you saved me again. You're as strong as ever, aren't you?"
Rigel smiled. He suddenly choked on his words.
Yeah, well, I'm strong 'cause I'm cheating… He couldn't say that.
"Rigel, you know our Glued-Potion Prince?"
"What kind of nickname is that…? Yeah, I know him, he saved me on my first login."
"In other words, he was Rigel's first man."
"How romantic!"
Without a word, Rigel held her wooden staff aloft and threw it with all her strength.
It hit Seshiriko and Sarapi, bullseye.
It took them 30 seconds to instantly take off, die, and revive.
"Y-You're so cruel, Rigel-chan…"
"I'm against violence."
"Quiet. Sexual harassment is subject of the Youth Protection Code and leads to a ban."
"Hahahaha..."
By the way, the extend of what they'd said wouldn't trigger Fury. Actually, the way Fury handled the Youth Protection Code was super arbitrary, so she basically didn't budge as long as Sasaraki was involved.
According to Fury, "In Master's case it's more interesting if there's sexual harassment involved ? "
He thought that that fairy was just evil to her rotten core.
"By the way, Sasaraki, didn't the goddess say your name earlier?"
"IIH?! E-Err, there must be someone with the same name among the devs, huh?!"
Since he had to let them die a 'Happy Death,' it'd be bad if the truth came to light.
"Isn't it prohibited to name yourself after an already existing character? Though, there are people with names like Cloud2 and so on because of that..."
"It bugged so I could pick this name!"
"Can't be helped if it bugged, huh?"
He breathed a sigh of relief. In this game, the 'it bugged' excuse went for almost anything.
"By the way, are you and your friends free right now? Or are you busy maybe?"
"Rather than busy, we've nothing to do other than killing the Jaws."
"It's an absurd quest. What's the point of flooding the town?"
Seshiriko kept complaining, "We can't craft anything, we can't go into any dungeons…"
"...Will everything really go back to the way it was, I wonder…?"
These words Sarapi had mumbled without meaning any harm stabbed deeply into Sasaraki's heart.
The flood was the fault of Sasaraki (and Azrael) and it wasn't settled yet whether it'd go back to normal.
However, he shook his head to forget his guilt. He didn't have time to falter.
"So why are you asking whether we're free? Are you trying to make a move on us? Seshiriko, what do you think?"
"Eh? Hmm, his fashion sense aside, he's got a cute face, so I think it's okay if we go along with him."
"When my long-time friend was wanton…"
"You're the one who brought this up, though?!"
"...And? You aren't trying to pick us up, are you? Romance is forbidden in this game, to begin with. So what's the reason?"
"Yeah, you know—"
—Five minutes later.
The three were on the roof of a specific, flooded house.
"This looks more interesting than shark extermination, huh?!"
"Looks like something that's not something that's not interesting."
"Heeh? An entrance on a roof? This is unexpectedly charming of this game, isn't it?"
When he'd told them that he found a new dungeon, the three girls had joined him readily.
The fact that Sasaraki was a gamemaster mustn't be exposed to them. In the explanation it'd said, [Should the players come to know, the 'G Points' will be cut to half.] This was supposed to be some kind of difficulty setting for gamemasters.
In any case, the three girls peered down the stairs which were placed on top of the roof.
"Ho~? Looks like a stone maze down there, doesn't it?"
The girl with the witch hat on, Seshiriko, said.
"Well, this is just an ordinary house, isn't it? How can it be so spacious down there?"
"Rigel's still so innocent. Sarapi's moved."
"Distortions in time and space are everyday stuff around here."
"........................Beyond hopeless, isn't it?"
And so on they talked while descending down into the gloomy cave.
Watching them from behind, Sasaraki forged his plan.
—I've to let them die a 'Happy Death.'
In other words, I've to let them have fun, then kill them.
What would be enjoyable for those three?
The killing's not an issue, I can kill them anytime, anywhere.
But practically, I don't know those three all too well, do I…?
I've only talked a bit with Rigel. She seems to be a girl with a straightforward common sense. Well, I'm comparing her with Azrael and Lizna here, since those two are a bit (more like, very) special, she's probably just a normal player.
But shouldn't there be things anyone has in common?
He recalled the game theory Alice had told him about.
Before he went to build the Master Dungeon, she'd told him briefly…
"Gaming fun is basically a combination of 'decision' and 'result.'"
"Decision— and result?"
"Yeah. I'll think of a simple example game for you."
Alice produced a figure and a dummy dungeon. The dungeon's path forked, the left path lead to a chest guarded by a demon and the right path to an unguarded chest. The adventurer-like figure was standing at the fork.
Alice held a 20-sided dice in her hand and fixated her gaze on Sasaraki.
"Okay, here goes the explanation. Sasaraki, you're the adventurer and your goal is to return from the dungeon with as much treasure as possible. There's 100 gold in the left chest. But if I roll the dice below a certain number, you'll lose against the demon— And here's the question…"
Alice winked, raised and bent two of her fingers alternately.
"Will you go for the left chest? Or the right one?"
"Eh—? Wait a second."
"I'm waiting a second."
"How much gold is in the right chest? And what's that 'certain number?'"
"Fufufu…"
Alice displayed a proud smile.
"Not telling~"
"Eh…? No, I can't make a pick, then."
"Of course you can't, right? That's why I'm giving you three hints."
Alice laughed another "Fufu…" and raised three of her fingers.
"First, the demon's huge. Second, you've fought one of those demons before, although of another color, and you were able to win hands down. Third, there's at least 50 gold in the right chest."
"Eh…? Hm…"
Able to win hands down, but of a different color. At least 50 gold in the right chest.
"Okay, your answer? You've to make your decision within ten seconds. Niiine, eeeight, seeeven…"
"Eh? W-Wait a second!"
"I won't wait this time. Siiix, fiiive…"
Sasaraki was pondering. Even if he'd been able to win over the demon before, she'd specifically told him about the different color, so it probably meant a difference in strength, too. If there were at least 50 gold in the right chest, he wouldn't have to take the risk of fighting. And, of course, he didn't have to compete with anyone, either.
"Errr, t-the right one!"
"Okay, the right one it is."
Alice opened the right chest. There was a good amount of gold and jewels in it.
"You get 100 gold and a bunch of jewels."
"Oooh!"
"By the way, the number's 19, so if I didn't roll a 20, you would've died on the left path."
"Eh…? Just a 5% chance?"
"Yep."
So the other path was basically the right choice to make.
Sasaraki heaved a sigh of relief and smiled.
"And the last question: Where was the game in what you did just now?"
"Eh? Err… When I chose between left and right?"
"I'll give you 25 points for that answer. It's the process of picking left or right, and the certainty that your choice was the correct one."
Alice raised a finger and continued with her explanation.
"First of all, you pondered whether you should choose left or right, correct? 'What's my primary goal, to begin with?' The process of comprehensive judgement— that's one of the main factors that leads to gaming fun, 'Decision.'"
"I see… And the other one?"
"Decisions always lead to results. It becomes apparent whether the action you took was right or wrong. This time I've told you the result of the other option, but normally the game's ultimate goal would be— to get the most gold by your judgement."
"And that's what games are made of?"
"I'd really like to explain in more detail… Like resource distribution and so on. But, well, yeah, that's what they're made of."
"Hmm… I think I kinda got it and kinda didn't…"
"Well, try putting it into practice as a gamemaster. Only good practice will lead to good games."
Alice rolled the dice around in her hand and chuckled.
"By the way, the definition of a kusoge is…"
She let go of the dice and rolled a 20.
She rolled once more - 20 again.
"That you can actually manipulate the dice like this, you know?"
"....................................I see."
You'd succeed no matter what you do. That certainly sounded like a boring game.
—Sasaraki started to ponder again while recalling that conversation.
In short— I've to let them make 'decisions of moderate difficulty?'
A simple problem— not a problem they'd be able to solve with just a little thinking, but a problem where they wouldn't know what the correct choice is 103
right away. And he'd have to let them know whether their decision was the right one in the end. Exactly that process chain would make the game, that's what Alice had taught him.
Sasaraki looked at the girls in front of him.
What kind of problem would make these girls think?
What sort of problem would these girls enjoy?
First of all, he had to come to understand that.
"Alright, then let's storm the dungeon right away! Here we go, Rigel-chan!"
Sarapi said, raised her arms overhead, and tried to run off.
"Wait right there, we haven't held our strategy meeting yet. Actually, introduce yourself first."
Rigel said while holding Sarapi back by her collar.
"GEFUU—!"
"Introduce ourselves…? Rigel's like the host of a mixer."
"What kind of example is this…? We're all party members going on an adventure together, so we should know each other, right?"
"Hmm…"
Seshiriko stared at Sasaraki with a poker face.
"Your name's Sasaraki, right?"
Seshiriko said in monotone. Quite like that.
"I don't really care who you are or anything, but…"
...And suddenly all cruel.
"What about you?"
"...If I have to pick one, then I'd like to know more about you."
"Why?"
"Err…"
He couldn't straightforwardly say that he wished to know how he could let her have fun.
After a bit of thinking, he said…
"Look, errr, I'd like to be closer with you."
"........................"
Seshiriko stared at Sasaraki for about five seconds.
Then she turned around to Sarapi.
"What should I do, Sarapi?"
"What's wrong, Seshiriko-chan?!"
"My heart pounded real hard just now."
"I see! That could be love, Seshiriko-chan!"
"I think it was intent to kill."
"WHY?!"
"Making advances on a girl on your first meeting… Die, riajuu."
"Going by that reasoning, you're the one he makes his advances on, so you're a riajuu too, right?"
"...Ah…"
Seshiriko seized her own mouth as if to say, 'Crap.'
"Mumu… Then should we commit lovers suicide like close people do?"
"Your love went to the extremes right away, right?!"
"What kind of stupid things are you even talking about…"
Rigel said in surprise and went back to topic.
"This girl's Seshiriko. She's 14. As you can see, she's a weird one."
"I'm not weird. Actually, I'm normal. A normal magical girl."
"You really do look like a magical girl… Or more like a witch, right?"
Seshiriko was wearing a pointy hat and a robe, like a witch. Her hair was long.
However, she had an iron sword with her, no staff. There was no magic in this game, after all.
"Cool, right? Sasaraki, I, Seshiriko, will save you with my magical girl sword."
"Magical girl sword… Well, whatever. Thanks and let's get along, okay?"
"Sasaraki, you really know how to cope with all kinds of people, don't you…?"
Rigel said in a surprised fashion. Sasaraki smiled and nodded.
If you've been with Azrael and Lizna, you know how to deal with this girl, too.
"So, I'm Sarapi! Let's get along, Sasaraki-kun!"
She was wearing light green armor which made her look like a thief. Her hair was rather short.
"I like to one hit! I hate to run away! My motto is, 'I take back what I just said!'"
"I've no idea what you're talking about but let's get along."
"Wow!"
Sarapi's eyes sparkled while she clapped her hands together.
"What should I do, Seshiriko-chan?! He turned my max-power joke down?!"
"Sarapi, you're noisy. Calm down. Don't shout into my ears."
"I'm not noisy! Rather, I'm a calm and collected, unparallelled relentless cool-beauty assassin!"
It looked like Sarapi was going with an assassin scenario. He thought it was pretty absurd.
"Why are you with these two girls, Rigel?"
"Hmm, they invited me, and…"
Rigel smiled a bit.
"...They're two dunces, but when I'm with them, it's really fun for some reason."
"HOWATTSU?!"
Sarapi unleashed a mysterious shout.
"It's one of Rigel-chan's rare dere moments, Seshiriko-chan!"
"My heart pounded real hard just now."
"That's love, isn't it, Seshiriko-chan?!"
"Yeah."
"So you're into yuri, aren't you, Seshiriko-chan?!"
"Probably."
"...Real fun, huh?"
If those two girls were around, he could hardly imagine it getting boring.
"Now that we're done with introductions, let's move on to the strategy meeting."
Rigel directed them. Strategy basically meant to assign roles and decide on a formation.
As in most RPGs, being in the front row was dangerous. Reason being, you'd be the one to step into traps first… but most of all: Bugs hit the first row the hardest. The vanguard was quick to die for no specific reason.
And to avoid those bugs, you needed experience.
"Can we rely on you as the vanguard, Sasaraki?"
"Yeah… Ah, wait."
It'd be more convenient if he was last and could watch them from behind in order to let those three enjoy themselves.
"I'm not really confident I can. I'll watch our backs. Can't someone of you act as the spearhead?"
"Sarapi-chan magnificently refuses, assassins shouldn't stand out!"
"The law dictates magical girls to be the middle guard."
"So that leaves me, huh…? Well, it's okay."
...But in the end, Sarapi became the vanguard, after all.
Next was the assignment of roles. Though this game was all melee with no magic. Battle strategies amounted to nothing more than 'zerg them down.'
Therefore, all that was left to decide was 'who's taking on the attacks?' In other words, who would shield the others? Also known as 'tanking.'
Although dying was bread-and-butter in this world, there weren't many people who wanted to die deliberately.
"We can leave the tanking to you, right, Sasaraki?"
"Yeah."
"Wait right there!"
Sarapi interrupted them all of a sudden.
"I want you to leave the tanking to this splendid assassin going by the name of Sarapi!"
"...Aren't your defense, level, and evasion rate below Sasaraki's?"
Sarapi pointed at Sasaraki sharply and puffed up her (small) chest in pride.
"I shall show you my magnificent backflip-style tanking!"
"No, nonono, you can't do that."
Rigel refused flatly.
"Seshiriko. You say something too."
"You know..."
"Hm?"
"I've high expectations for Tank Sarapi."
Sarapi struck a pose ready to high-five.
"Understood—!"
A satisfying sound echoed and the two girls wished each other the best of luck.
"Wha—, WAAAAAAAAAIT—?!"
"Now that it's come to this, Sarapi won't listen."
"Um, but, you know, we've to keep efficiency in mind, right?"
Rigel kept at it tenaciously.
"Even if we bother with efficiency, it won't get us nowhere in this kusoge."
"Uwaah…"
That certainly was the case, but what blunt things this girl dared to say.
"Seshiriko. That's not true."
Rigel declared strongly.
"This game really is a kusoge…"
"Yes. This world is an unparalleled kusoge."
"But is it okay for us to just accept it?"
Rigel beat against her own chest and continued.
"A great man once said— The game's over when you give up!"
"...So you were a competitive sport kind of person, Rigel?"
"Kind of fits her image, doesn't it?!"
"Even if this is a kusoge, we've to give it our very best at all times!"
"Heeh…?"
Sasaraki felt his chest heat up.
He understood that Rigel was proactively and earnestly trying to enjoy this game.
"Hmm…"
Seshiriko put her hand to her chin and sunk into thought.
"Even if you say that, the world would rather end before we'll be able to persuade Sarapi"
"It's that bad?!"
"Once she's decided on something, she won't budge even if it kills her. 'Cause she's an idiot."
"Let's try it at least."
"It's futile. I'll proof it."
Seshiriko drew her sword, gripped it with both her hands, and swung it down on Sarapi with all her might.
*ZUGAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN*!
Sneak Attack and Critical Hit. Damage: 80.
[Player Sarapi Died. Reason: Player Seshiriko's One-Hit Bisection]
30 seconds later, Sarapi revived (the respawn was right next to them).
"What are you doing, Seshiriko-chan?!"
"Sarapi, won't you reconsider? You died, you know?"
"Why are you asking me after you killed me?! I've no intention to reconsider at all now, you know?!"
"See?"
"What are you looking so proud for, Seshiriko…?"
Rigel put her hand to her forehead and sighed.
"Rigel. Think about it differently."
"Differently how?"
"We are not playing a kusoge. We, this party of four, are the kusoge."
"You know that thinking like that doesn't resolve anything, right?"
"A kusoge is a game that doesn't resolve anything."
Rigel heaved a very deep sigh and showed a tired expression.
"...Got it, I got it… I'm an idiot for hoping you could be efficient."
In the end, Rigel was the one to yield and Sarapi became the tank.
Rigel heaved a shocked sigh.
I think I kinda understand their relationships with each other…
And Sasaraki thought that it was pretty relaxing to have Rigel do all the tsukkomis when he was with her.
* * *
And hence Sarapi became their vanguard for the dungeon exploration. Looking through the protruding window, they saw stairs leading downwards. They climbed into it while bending their backs and descended down a dark, wooden passage. Sasaraki thought to himself…
So… how can I make these girls enjoy themselves?
This time it's different from the tutorial dungeon. This dungeon's layout should've already been established. Even I don't know its setup. Let's spawn some traps, chests, and demons to let them have fun while I check up on the contents (though they'll be kuso-tastic, anyway).
With these thoughts in his heart, he went down the entrance stairway and...
reached a deadend.
"Nonono!"
No matter how you looked at it, there was no continuing.
"Could there be a hidden door, maybe?"
"No trace of that!"
Sarapi replied while knocking on the brick wall.
"Hm," Seshiriko nodded and suddenly raised her hand.
"So this is it, right? Thanks for your work!"
"We cleared the dungeon in three seconds, didn't we?! A new record!"
"Nononononono!"
It would've been problematic for Sasaraki if they'd cleared the dungeon at this point.
Wai… What is this?!
"Sasaraki-kun, can you hear me?"
Lizna's voice echoed in his head. It seemed like she'd sent a message.
She'd been watching Sasaraki and his group from within the debugging room's monitoring room.
"I looked into the dungeon and it seems like there's nothing but an entrance."
"What are we supposed to do now?!"
"Alice-san said that Sasaraki-kun should just go ahead and build something."
"Another new and fresh impossible task I'm asked to do, huh?!"
"Give it your best! I believe in you!"
There were limits to what one could achieve by giving it their best.
"Even so… I've no choice but to try, I guess…"
The three big 'U's in this game were unimplemented, untested, and unfixed. This extent of unimplementation was absolutely commonplace. And if he was to lose to this extent of unimplementation, it was doubtful he'd ever be able to touch this kusoge up.
"You know you've got a tool for dungeon construction, right?"
He looked at his hand when Lizna said that to him. Right now, Sasaraki was holding a graph paper notebook you'd know from math classes. It was an item introduced with patch ver. 38 and exclusive to gamemasters, the 'Super All-Purpose Imagination-to-Reality Device.'
With this, you'd apparently be able to create dungeons by just mapping them.
As always, a development tool so vague, all you could do was laugh.
When he flipped the notebook open, stairs appeared in one of the graph paper's boxes.
And besides those stairs, the paper was completely empty. A sea of white nothingness.
"Sasaraki, let's go back. We had no luck this time."
Rigel said to him. However, he couldn't go along with them this time.
"W-Wait a bit! Just a bit!"
"Why?"
"You know, we might find a hidden path or something after all, if we just keep looking for a bit!"
"He's a die hard kind of person— so isn't he the protagonist?"
"Surrounded by three heroines sure makes him look like one, right?!"
If you talked to these girls, the conversation was bound to derail.
"Anyway, let's look for it, everyone! The first to find it wins!"
"Wins what? Just... what…?"
At any rate, he appeared to have successfully deceived them (albeit forcibly).
While pretending to look for a door, Sasaraki traced over the graph paper to create a map. For the time being, he extended it by ten boxes northwards starting from the stairs. Thereupon, *GOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!*, the earth shook tremendously and the wall in front of Sarapi parted sideways.
"Oooooh! Hidden path GET! Sarapi wins!"
"...No, well, did you do anything right now, Sarapi?"
"She made a dumb face and spaced out, right?"
"So the trigger was to make a dumb face?"
"Why's everyone so cruel all of a sudden?!"
Alright, kinda forced, but we're clear!
While sweat ran down his back, Sasaraki secretly struck a triumphant pose.
Let's go with this!
Proceeding along the simple brick structure, he wracked his brain as if his life depended on it.
"First of all— I've to buy some time!"
I've to secure some time for dungeon creation. Maybe a demon for now? No, it'd be suspicious if I wouldn't take part in the fight. That'd occupy my hands. In the meantime, Seshiriko kept advancing forwards.
"F-For now… a trap, I guess?"
He placed a pitfall in front of them for the time being.
Writing 'Pitfall' on the graph paper was all he needed to do.
Right after, *BOSHUN*.
"FUGYAUN—?!"
Sarapi's shriek echoed. She'd gotten buried up to her hips in the ground.
"A trap, huh...? Couldn't you sense it?"
Rigel said in surprise.
Sarapi was an assassin. Sensing traps was supposed to be her strong suit.
"I-It's not my fault! There wasn't anything but normal path ahead!"
"Sarapi, how unsightly."
"I said it's not my fault—?!"
Sarapi cried and creeped up.
...Ah, that might be good.
It hurt his heart, but— at the same time, it felt kinda pleasant.
How to put it, it felt like he'd done something tabooed.
Wait, I've no time to think into this too deeply, now that there's an opening I've to…"
Sasaraki scribbled away on the graph paper.
"My, Sasaraki, what's that?"
"GIKUU—?!"
He jumped in surprise being called out to by Rigel.
"W-Well, I'm mapping the dungeon."
"Heeh… I see, should I take care of it?"
"It's fine, I'm used to it."
I'm totally used to lying by now, ain't I…? He admired himself.
Anyway, they helped Sarapi out of the trap and advanced further. Saraki kept drawing.
Errr… a normal dungeon… would probably be boring, huh…?
Now he had the chance to freely create a dungeon.
So he wanted to make a special one just for them.
Sasaraki recalled the earlier settings of these three girls. Assassin. Magical girl.
Rigel didn't really think up any specific setting for herself, but her 'Main Skill' was related to dragons. Couldn't he maybe make a quest which would specifically utilize these three—?
The moment he thought about that, the graph paper started to shine golden.
[A s y o u w i s h , M a s t e r .]
"Eh…?"
[I m p l e m e n t e d q u e s t .]
It appeared the fairy who dwelled within the graph paper had understood Sasaraki's intentions.
Right after, Sarapi shouted an, "OOOOOH—!"
"Everyone, I've discovered a jail! It reeks of event! Who wants to be imprisoned?!"
"Not me."
"I'll pass on it, too. Apparently, someone's already beaten us to it, anyway."
Rigel pointed at the inside of a cell separated from them by iron bars. A skeleton was inside. Hovering above it hazily was a bluish-white, half-transparent ghost. It 117
looked like a man in leather clothes. It didn't appear to be hostile towards them and just groaned away, [Oooh…]
Sasaraki had his doubts, what was going on— he himself didn't even know.
This tool was awfully wooly and just implemented whatever it wanted.
There was probably an AI resembling Fury inside.
"A ghost! Let's beat him to death!"
"You can't kill what's already dead."
"Then let's beat him half dead!"
"I see, a brilliant plan!"
"C'mon, stop that thoughtless blabbering and listen to his story, alright?"
He was really thankful that Rigel had a normal reply for them.
When Rigel and the others drew closer to him, the ghost stared at Rigel.
And then he began talking about something.
[You… You all… I would've never thought that the living would come here…]
"Who are you? Where are we?"
"Those are the standard questions, right?! And next—"
"Sarapi, be quiet."
[I'm a member of the assassin guild… and this is the assassin guild's abandoned castle…]
"What?! It exists! The assassin guild really exists!"
"Sarapi, shut up."
"...So, why is it abandoned?"
[An evil witch riding a dragon… utterly destroyed our guild…]
"What? There really are magical girls?"
"Nonono, wait a second!"
Rigel said in a surprised fashion.
"What's this forced 'n half-assed setting?!"
"That's to be expected in this game!"
"Hahaha…"
Sasaraki forced a dry smile.
Not good. It's my fault, I've stated my wish poorly.
And thanks to the tool's ways, it had apparently become a mix up.
[Please, appease our grudge… and destroy the magical girl and dragon within our castle…]
"What?! Exterminate a dragon?! The royal road of fantasy!"
"An evil magical girl… She's my enemy, no doubt."
"I don't get it anymore… I wanna go home already…!"
Rigel put her hand to her forehead and looked up at the ceiling. Sasaraki basically felt the same.
"B-But we can't do that either, let's just advance further for now, okay?"
[Ooh, I'm grateful… If you kill them, we shall offer you a reward…]
"What reward?"
[A dragon's horn and claw…]
Rigel showed a response and twitched.
"...Eh? You mean the raw materials for smithing horn and claw?"
[Of course… The good stuff you hardly see pop up on the market, ya know…?]
What an awfully kind ghost.
Rigel twitched even harder.
"H-Hmm, I see, I see…"
Her body was somewhat trembling restlessly.
"Alright, everyone, let's get a move on."
"It's Mercenary Rigel."
"So lovely, isn't she?! I love you, Rigel-chan!"
"KYA! Wai— Don't cling to me, hey—!"
"Hahaha…"
Sasaraki expressed a smile. This time a genuine one.
It had been an absurdly hard installation, but anyway, it seemed like they were enjoying themselves now.
* * *
In the time he'd talked with them, Sasaraki came to understand what kind of adventure they were wishing for.
Sarapi wanted new thrills, Seshiriko chaos, and Rigel something logical.
And so he tried to put each respectively into practice.
"Uoh, a new monster, Seshiriko-chan!"
"It's a Pig Human Fighter in a different color, isn't it?"
"Amazing, right?! I'm impressed!"
Sarapi was especially easy to handle.
"Uoooh, it's firing beams out of its pig eyes, Seshiriko-chan!"
"Hooh, very interesting."
Seshiriko was pretty simple, too.
"Uoooh, it says, 'If you don't strike my weak point, I won't die,' on its forehead, Rigel-chan!"
"It's firing beams from its eyes, so… perhaps its eyes are the weak point?"
"TEI, EYE CRUSHER! *Woosh*, Uooou, it exploded?!"
"Hooh, very itneresting."
"Fufufu, thanks to me."
Rigel was just as simple.
Anyway, they spent thirty minutes like that.
And now they were consulting in front of the boss room (or rather, the room Sasaraki had set as the boss room).
"Now then, as the tank, I'll charge in first! Follow after me—!"
"Wait."
Rigel grabbed Sarapi by the collar.
"You know, it was enough for the trash, but not for the boss. Leave it to Sasaraki."
"Eh—! Don't wanna, don't wanna, don't wannaaaa—!"
"We don't know what level the dragon will have, do you want to die?"
"If I have to pick one, I'd rather not!"
The death penalty in this game consisted of a small chunk of XP cut and a small chance of item loss.
The XP aside, losing your items was something everyone hated.
"Then…"
"But I don't wanna."
Sarapi wore a serious expression.
"I gave it my best until here! I want to stick with tanking until the end!"
"Sarapi, there's nothing sticky about tanking."
"Either way, don't wanna!"
"Hmmm."
Being at a loss, Rigel cocked her head in puzzlement.
Sasaraki didn't know what to do, either. Rigel's reasoning was sound.
However, he also understood how Sarapi felt. She didn't care about logical dungeon clearing.
One of them had to compromise—
"What do you think, Sasaraki?"
"Hmm…"
After a bit of consideration, he said…
"I'll tank."
"Eeh—?! Why?!"
"Well, when we discussed who's supposed to tank earlier, Rigel gave in, right?"
"Rather than giving in, I gave up, though…"
"But it's no good to give in all the time, you know?"
He looked straight into Sarapi's eyes and continued…
"Friendship— should be about giving and taking, that's what I believe."
"Hooh?"
"Hohe?"
Seshiriko and Sarapi simultaneously showed surprise.
"Eh…? W-What's wrong?"
"I admire that you're a boy with his own opinion."
"I thought you were just some tag-along loser!"
"You guys are way too rude to him, alright?!"
"Yeah, but I get what he wants to say!"
Sarapi put on a bright smile and pointed sharply at Sasaraki.
"We're friends, right?! This time, I'll leave it to you, Sasaraki-chan!"
So now they'd added '-chan' on his name. It made him a bit happy.
"Let's work out a strategy, then. First of all, Sasaraki, use all the buff potions you have and charge in. While you focus all the aggro on yourself, Sarapi and Seshiriko attack from the flanks. In the meantime, I'll look for a chance to summon my dragon with my main skill."
"Dragon versus dragon! How romantic!"
"But won't I get caught up in their fight and burned to cinders by their blaze?"
"I'll give you a signal right before I summon it, fall back then."
"Got it."
Their strategy was complete. Rigel laughed a "Fufu…"
"Fufufu, I'm getting excited."
"Amazing, isn't it?! Such an impeccable strategy!"
"Apart from not taking into account that this is a kusoge, it's perfect."
"You guys… Ah, whatever! Sasaraki, everyone, let's go!"
"Alright! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!"
"Why are you giving the order?!"
Following Sarapi's order, Sasaraki plunged into the dragon's room as the vanguard.
—And as he'd anticipated, they were wiped out.
* * *
We're jumping 30 minutes ahead.
After their adventure, Sasaraki headed to the flooded teleporter. To return to the debugging room. If he'd use the 'Master Screen' he'd be able to teleport immediately, but even that'd use 'G Points,' so he had to resort to the aforementioned unknown and unpopular method.
In the middle of that, Sasaraki uttered a, "Hmm…"
"They seem to more or less have had some fun, huh…?"
When he took a look at his 'G Points' on the 'Master Screen,' it said 500. He didn't know who and how they were calculated, but apparently he'd fulfilled the task of letting Rigel and her group die a 'Happy Death.'
But had that really been alright?
With doubt in his mind he arrived at the magic square.
The scene in front of his eyes shifted and he returned to the black room— the debugging room.
"I'm back."
When he returned, Azrael was facing the console and programming, as always.
Lizna was lying down and seizing her own nose and mouth.
"...What are you doing?"
"Eh? Just suffocating myself."
"...Why?"
"Don't they say that suffocating feels good?"
Sometimes, he got worried whether Lizna really should return to reality.
"No, scratch that… By the way, where's Alice?"
"In the monitoring roo~m."
"Got it."
There were a whole bunch of small rooms connected to the debugging room.
One of them was the monitoring room, a room the size of an average bathroom from which you could watch the active players. Alice was in there quite a lot.
Sasaraki opened the hidden door and entered.
Alice was surrounded by sparkling displays.
She sat on a chair and stared at those displays, smiling.
And looked like she was enjoying herself, awfully so.
"Nfufufufufufufuhehe…"
It was a sloven voice you normally couldn't even imagine coming from her.
When he peeked at her face, she was drooling.
"Fu-nya?"
Her eyes who were staring at the displays in ecstasy focused on Sasaraki.
And the spark of intellect immediately returned to them.
"Ara, if it isn't Sasaraki. Welcome back."
"...Yeah, I'm back."
She's fast to throw the switch, huh? He'd thought while giving his reply.
"So? How did it go?"
Alice asked with a smile.
"We wiped."
Sasaraki replied, also with a smile.
They'd been reduced to cinders by the dragon's blaze since it'd been at level 30.
Their decision back there hadn't made any difference at all. What a kusoge.
"But… well, looks like they had fun."
After they'd been burned to death, the three girls had earnestly cursed this game. Especially Rigel. Like, "Balance this game already," or "Why do they put a level 30 dragon on the first floor?!" or "Weren't out strategy meetings all useless?!"
She'd been really mad.
While he had felt incredibly sorry, he asked them what they thought of their adventure just now, and Rigel said…
"Hm? Right— Apart from the finale, it wasn't bad."
She'd turned towards him and winked.
"It was fun going on an adventure with you."
So she'd said.
"I see! Congratulations!"
Alice applauded, *clapclapclap*.
She let her feet dangle in the air and was apparently enjoying herself.
"Have you come to understand it, too?"
While explaining the details, Alice winked again.
"Once you know a person's nature, you can let them have fun by offering an adventure that gets them what they're looking."
"Yeah, that's right, huh?"
Those three had been especially easy to read, though.
Surely, if it was something intended for a bigger audience, he'd also have to try and read all of them.
"So what have you been doing, Alice?"
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