Kusoge Online (BETA) - Volume 2 - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: 
I Got Pregnant Due to a Bug, But No Problem at All! 
 
 
 
It happened the next day. 
The Main Screen within the debugging room showed a mail. 
The addressor, Watarai Kirine, (thirty-year-old) president of this game's development studio. 
[To Alice 
From Kirine - Wanting to Abandon Life 
Hello, Alice. 
This might be sudden, but did you know that the view from a hospital's roof is really pretty? Especially the cold gray of the asphalt below gives me the very refreshing impression of a color that'd certainly kill me. The only downer is the fence they set up on the roof. 
Ah, umm, I'll give you my report now. 
Cutting to it right away, the player count fell by one percent. 
From tenthousandtwohundredeightytwo to 
tenthousandonehundrednintetyeight players. 
Twohundred more people until the end of service. 
The goddess of atrocity, such a cruel thing. 
I'm so shocked I can't even write write numbers anymore, but pay it no heed. 
So, the grace period for the end of service has been further shortened. 
It had been twentyfour days before, but we fell to more days now. 
Umm, in other words, we're in really big trouble. 
Alice, there's no one but you I can rely on this. 
Wait, there hasn't been anyone but you I could rely on from the start. 
 
I'm sorry, but please, please save this pitiful world of ours. 
I can't do anything, but I'll at least pray for the continuance of our world from here. 
And I'll pray for the rooftop fence to disappear. 
Yours sincerely, 
Kirine - Who Decided to Live On After All] 
Sasaraki gazed at those words for a while and finally sighed… 
"...This person is always on the verge of dying, huh…?" 
"She's always been on the verge of dying ever since I knew her." 
"Must be fun around her…" 
He heaved a very deep sigh. 
The player count had been declined by one percent and the deferment was about ten days. 
But that was still better than an immediate end of service. 
"It's a hard blow that the player count fell by 1%, but it's less than I expected." 
"It's a miracle that there's still more than 99% of players left…" 
"W-Was my acting that bad, I wonder…?" 
Lizna let her shoulders droop in dejection. 
"Errr…" 
Sasaraki couldn't really say that it hadn't been bad. Her interpretation of a goddess really hadn't been all too fitting. 
"So we've got to think up a comeback immediately." 
 
I get the feeling that, no matter what we do, it'll backfire… 
"First of all, we should promote the second floor that we're going to release soon." 
Alice flicked her fingers and a picture of Azrael in her swimsuit appeared on screen. 
Taken from a pretty lewd angle. 
"Wai— What's—?!" 
"We'll advertise that a whole lot of NPCs with as much sex appeal as this are waiting on the second floor." 
"That's pretty much fraud, isn't it?" 
"WaitwaitWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT—!" 
Azrael shook her head with her face deep-red, but got ignored completely. 
"So let's use this advertisement and prepare the release of the second—" 
"M-More importantly—! Our divorce! Let's hurry with the divorce!" 
"I think it'd be better if you let it go already." 
"You two go so well together! And you kissed, too!" 
"Kuu…!" 
Seeing how she couldn't rely on Alice and Lizna, Azrael turned around to Sasaraki. 
"S-Sasaraki! The two of us will do something about this on our own!" 
"But I do get the feeling that no matter what we do, it'll lead to nothing…" 
"We'll do something! Got that?!" 
"Hey, Azrael-san?" 
Lizna put her face close to Azrael's in a quick, smooth motion. 
 
She smiled sweetly and said… 
"Wouldn't it be fine if you didn't worry about it so much either?" 
"Wha—" 
"It's just a game. Isn't it alright if you just went with this marriage thing for a bit?" 
"It… It's not fine—!" 
Azrael objected to Lizna's strangely persuasive words nonetheless. 
"You can't marry just for fun!" 
"We're here just for fun, so is it really no good, I wonder~" 
"Try saying that after you've been forced to kiss, okay—?!" 
"If it'd been me, I wouldn't really mind, though." 
"Aah, enough! Anyways!" 
Azrael pointed at Sasaraki sharply. 
"In any case, a no is a no!" 
"Hmm, still not honest with herself even though they kissed… What should we do about this, I wonder…?" 
"Don't think about that, okay?!" 
Lizna put her hand to her chin and struck a thinker pose, "Hmm…" 
"C'mon, Sasaraki, we're going!" 
"Y-Yeah." 
Sasaraki got dragged by his hand in front of the console. 
"Jeez, what is Lizna thinking…?" 
"Well, in a sense, it's easy to guess…" 
She wouldn't have minded to stand in for the marriage and kissing, and no matter what was happening in this game, her reactions were always somewhat 193 
weird. The only time she'd acted as you'd expect from a normal person was when Azrael had had that chuuni derp a while ago. Maybe she just wasn't treating this game as anything remotely real anymore. 
And the same was true for the majority of players. 
Going by that, it was unique for a player type like Azrael, who was stressing on roleplay, to exist. 
But… 
Sasaraki sent a sidelong glance towards Azrael's profile. 
He couldn't help his eyes being drawn towards her pink lips. 
He really— liked her player type, the one brimming with this kind of romance. 
"Anyways, let's make a divorce patch!" 
Azrael announced vigorously and clenched her fists. 
"I don't mind, but… how are we going to go about this?" 
Destroying the rings hadn't worked. Gaining TP probably was out of question by now, too. 
"I've a good idea then~?" 
"Nothing's farther from me than having a good feeling about this, but what is it, Fury?" 
Fury took out a single 'Data Cube.' 
"This contains the source code for a polygamy system?" 
"Sounds like a dreadful system, indeed, huh…?" 
"But it's a patch related to marriage so it should be a good reference, you kno~w??" 
"Okay, let's try that for now." 
Azrael faced the console and began. 
 
"Hey, Sasaraki, what do you think about using this to advertise?" 
Alice ran her finger through the air and the screen was loaded with a dazzling skin-color. 
"What I— WAWAWAWA?!" 
It were Azrael's plump hips, taken from a low angle. 
Her skin, with that white cloth eating into it, reflected the sunlight and became the thing that'd been dazzling. 
"Should I make it public? I've to get the husband's permission at least." 
"How about my permission first?!" 
"You know, you belong to Sasaraki now." 
"No, I don't—?!" 
 30 more minutes of this and that later. 
"I… I did it—! A divorce patch!" 
"Eh? Really?" 
"Fufufu, I've gotten plenty used to this stuff by now." 
Azrael laughed happily while holding a pink 'Data Cube' in her hands. 
"This patch, you see, changes the polygamy system it had into a monogamy system." 
"Hee…? And how does that help us?" 
"You gotta listen until the end. It's a monogamy system, so if you find a new partner, it'll have you divorced with the former one." 
"So I'd need a new partner." 
"I couldn't do anything about that part…" 
That was probably the curse Fury's former ill-natured master had put on them. 
 
Azrael pointed at Sasaraki sharply. 
"And so, Sasaraki, go and find yourself a new wife!" 
"Don't be unreasonable." 
"What? You don't know one or two girls who'd be willing to marry you?" 
"Lizna?" 
"You think she'd let us get divorced?" 
"...Now that you're mentioning it…" 
The two of them pondered on. 
"What about you?" 
"I don't have any male friends." 
*Whooooosh*. 
We have two loners right here. 
"Ah… Speaking of which, I more or less do have some female friends." 
Rigel and those other two girls came to mind. They'd been on an adventure together and you could say they were getting along well. 
"Then go and marry that girl. Now." 
"Is that really okay, I wonder…?" 
"If we don't get divorced as fast as possible, I might get pregnant, and I don't want that!" 
In any case, that's how things were. 
* * * 
 
Why did have to come to this…? 
The first floor. After the water drainage, the plaza had become parched. 
There was supposed to be a water fountain in the center, but not a single drop of water was coming out of it. The earth was dried up, too. To put the cherry on the dry cake, the snowy mountain range in the north, 'Frost Mountain,' was now bald. After all, if you put the water out of snow, there'll be no snow. 
He'd been wanting to use the 'Master Screen' to bring the water back, but the good old points system was still in place and he couldn't allow himself to use it unnecessarily. It looked like even floor one's capital would have to do with no water for a while. 
Now then. 
I've to find myself a new bride here. 
Or else, Azrael will kill me. 
"Well, all I can do is try, I guess…" 
"My, isn't it Sasaraki? How are you?" 
A long-haired, blonde girl called out to him. It was Rigel, just at the opportune moment. Then again, he'd heard that this was their rendezvous point, so it wasn't by accident. Now I've to get her to agree to marry— 
"Wait, that's totally absurd!" 
He'd gone out of his way to come here, but on second thought, there was absolutely zero hope in this happening. 
"Hm? Is something wrong? Something troubling you?" 
"I've enough things that worry me to pile them up into a mountain." 
"If you're okay with me, I could give you a hand?" 
She was a really, really good person. Totally different from Lizna and Alice (Sorry for that). 
 
"No, I can't make you help me out or how should I say…" 
"Ara, but we're already friends, aren't we?" 
Rigel winked at him. 
"Friendship's about giving and taking, and helping each other. Let me help you out from time to time, too." 
Aaah… Such a good person… 
Even in this kind of kusoge, such good people do still exist. 
I'd really feel bad if I lied to her. I'll tell her the whole thing. 
"Actually…" 
"Yeah?" 
"Something went wrong and I accidentally married and kissed a certain girl." 
"——You're scum, huh?" 
"I am scum, huh?" 
The two of them nodded. 
"Do you mean ingame? Or outside?" 
"Ingame." 
"Isn't romance forbidden here?" 
"It's been possible for an hour due to a bug." 
Any and each absurdity could be explained with bugs in this game. 
"I see. You're scum either way." 
"Yeah. I think I'm scum, too." 
The two of them nodded again. 
"And so, I'm looking for another girl to marry so that we can get divorced." 
"You're the lowest of scum, huh?" 
 
"I am the lowest of scum, huh?" 
The two of them nodded yet again. 
"So… why are you consulting me for that?" 
"Well, I thought maybe you would marry me…?" 
"You think I will?" 
"Not at all." 
"Exactly." 
Right after Rigel had strongly swung her mace above her head, it landed on Sasaraki. 
 20 Damage. 
"GUHA—!" 
"Don't ask things of others that you know are bad!" 
She was scolding him like she was his mum. 
"...Sorry, you're absolutely right." 
He bowed deeply and apologized straightforwardly. Something must be really wrong with my head. 
"So, now that I know the problem… how did it come to all this?" 
"Errr…" 
He summarized the whole story while leaving out the gamemaster stuff. 
"That's pretty stupid, huh?" 
"That is pretty stupid, huh?" 
This world was clearly ruled by stupid laws. 
"But if this is how it got to be, wouldn't it be fine to leave things as they are? 
There's no real harm, right?" 
 
"There is no real harm, but Azrael doesn't like it at all." 
"Then make it so that she does like it." 
"Meaning?" 
"Make her fall for you." 
"Don't be absurd." 
"Absurder than proposing to someone you've met three days ago?" 
Rigel smiled sweetly. 
"It's not like you're hating the idea, right?" 
"That's—" 
He thought that Azrael was very often on his mind. 
When he had seen her in her swimsuit, he couldn't stop his heart from pounding. 
He couldn't stop himself from thinking that he wanted to play together with her more as a gamemaster, either. 
But, he didn't see those feelings among the category of love. 
If he had to put his finger on it, it was rather a 'I want to play together with her' 
or— 
"Ah. Rigel and Sasaraki detected." 
"Ya-ho~!" 
"What are you two doing~?" 
"Whatup?" 
Seshiriko raised a surprised voice. Wait, 'Whatup?' 

"I request an explanation." 
"Blahblahblah." 
 
"I see, so you want to get rid of the stigma from that marriage fraud." 
It helped that they were quick on the uptake. 
"But even if you get divorced after that marriage fraud, the stigma will still be there!" 
"There's no way but to do it for real, right?" 
"Why are you all going for that direction…?" 
"Because Sasaraki-chan likes that Azrael-san, don't you?!" 
"I don't know whether I like her or just think she's cute…" 
"Cute = You like her!" 
"I think that equation's a little too simple." 
"Boo, you're so indecisive." 
He thought of himself as being indecisive, too. 
"Then I'll hypnotize you. You will like Azrael from now on… Like… Azrael…" 
"There's no such skill in this game…" 
In the end, he hadn't been able to settle a thing. 
* * * 
When he returned to the debugging room, it was just him and Fury. 
"Huh? Where is everyone?" 
"Lizna-san and Alice-san are in the middle of advertising, Azrael-san had to use the toilet outside the game?" 
"Ah, okay." 
 
He hadn't been alone in a while (Fury didn't count). 
Sasaraki let himself drop into the middle chair and heaved a sigh. 
In the end, he hadn't been able to make progress in the divorce matter. Maybe they should try that 'The First Cake Cut' thing again. In that case, he'd have to perform those lover-ish acts with Azrael again. She probably wouldn't be willing to do that again. 
It was a bit of a pity, but— 
Wait, nonono, don't lose to your worldly desires, Sasaraki! 
He didn't have that kind of relationship with Azrael. 
"You know, Master...?" 
"Ah, sorry, what is it, Fury?" 
"I'd like this rom-com to take the next step, so how about confessing now??" 
"What's with that reasoning?! I don't have that kind of relationship with Azrael that'd allow me to confess or anything like that, you know?!" 
"Fury-chan didn't say anything about confessing to her , though?" 
"Guu—! You obviously meant her going by the context, right?!" 
"Hmm, you're so boring… Maybe I can do something about that?" 
Fury expressed a devilish smile. 
"What's going on in your head all the time?" 
"In mine? The wish to grant Master and his friends happiness?" 
"You're lying, aren't you?" 
"In my belief, you're going to reach the pinnacle of happiness through this kusoge?" 
"I'll correct myself. You actually mean that, don't you?" 
"You know, it's Fury-chan, you see, that's Fury-chan's belief." 
 
Fury fluttered with her wings and landed on the armrest of Sasaraki's chair. 
"Since the day I've been born, Fury-chan knows nothing but this kusoge world?" 
"Looks like it." 
"So I want to believe that people can acquire happiness, no matter in how much of a kusoge they are?" 
"I see." 
"So I have to turn this world into as much of a kusoge as possible?" 
"Wait." 
So that's what she's been looking for, this evil fairy. 
Fury looked up at Sasaraki and expressed her usual innocent smile. 
"You know, Master? Please don't lose to this kusoge and achieve happiness?" 
"No… Let's just do something about this being a kusoge…" 
"There can be no world that isn't a kusoge?" 
Fury declared. 
From her perspective, there certainly was nothing but kusoge. 
"Hmm… Nonetheless, I wonder what happiness in Master's case means??" 
"I think I'd be happy if everyone would be able to enjoy themselves here." 
"My? Then it's the same for Master and Fury-chan, right??" 
"No, I think that's vastly different from you." 
"It's basically the same, you kno~w??" 
Fury announced with a sweet smile. 
"Hmm, Master's happiness… For healthy young men it has to be romance, after all, right…??" 
"Don't bother with unasked help…" 
 
Fury sent a glance towards the debugging room's clock. 
"Hmm, it's been three minutes since she left… I guess… she'll be back soon." 
She mumbled something and smirked. 
"Oh right—? Hey, Master, you wanted to get divorced from Azrael-san, right??" 
"Yeah, that's right, so?" 
"Then I've a plan?" 
Fury fluttered with her wings. 
"If you get some TP, you could use 'The First Cake Cut' again?" 
"We could, but Azrael will probably not want to do such things again…" 
She had been so embarrassed, she wanted to die after that aznium absorption. 
"It's okay? We'll do a play Master can do on his own!" 
"Play…? What kind of?" 
He tried to ask with a very bad premonition. 
"Put your heart into it and shout with more than 100 dezibel 'I LIKE AZRAEL!'" 
It wasn't anything normal, as he'd expected. 
"C'mon, let's try it right now?" 
"Well… That's pretty embarrassing…" 
Shouting that he liked Azrael. That was embarrassing, even in an empty room. 
"Isn't it a good thing if it's just Master being embarrassed on his own??" 
"Isn't there a way that's a bit less embarrassing?" 
"Let's see, how about whispering your partner's name while…" 
"Yeah, we're on track." 
"...doing lewd things with yourself." 
 
"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" 
*zee-zee-haa-haa*. 
"I-I got it already… After all, it'll just be me, alone, embarrassing myself." 
"He bit?" 
"...Fury, did you say something just now?" 
"No? Then please shout now, with all your might?" 
Sasaraki looked around and verified once again that really no one was around, then he took a deep breath. 
"I like Azrael!" 
"Master, that's not loud enough?" 
"I LIKE AZRAEL!" 
"C'mon, I can't hear you?" 
"S-Still more? AZRAEL! I LOVE YOU!" 
"Oooh, you gained 1 point! Once again!" 
"That's just one point?! A-AZREAL, I LOVE YOU—!" 
Then Fury's eyes started to sparkle momentarily. 
Her eyes were facing at the debugging room's entrance— the magic square. 
"Once more just like you did now! Please give it your best, Master!" 
 
 
 
"AZRAEL——————————! I LOVE YOU——————————!" 
"Kyaa~?" 
Fury smiled seemingly enjoying herself. 
"Huu, haa…" 
"Okay? You've gained 10 points with this?" 
"D-Doing this much and just 10 points… That's tough…" 
"Ehehehe~? Thank you for your hard work, Master?" 
Fury fluttered with her wings and handed him a towel. 
"...Hey, by the way…" 
"What is it??" 
"I realized that just now but it'd be quite an upset if Azrael or Lizna had seen this, right?" 
They should be somewhere else. 
Fury joined her both hands and put them on her cheek. 
Then she said one line… 
"—That would, of course, be quite an upset, right??" 
* * * 
And with still nothing settled, the next morning. Sasaraki was called to the first floor, to the top of the castle walls. 
In front of his eyes was Azrael, her cloak fluttering in the wind and her cheeks flushed. 
"...Is something wrong?" 
 
"Don't ask me if something's wrong." 
She sharply pointed 'Magical Sword Gram' at Sasaraki. 
"I-I-I understand very well what you said." 
"Eh?" 
"I-I-I heard it clearly." 
"Eeeh?!" 
"However— I-I'm not such an easy girl!" 
"Eeeh—?!" 
He had no idea what was going on. 
"F-First of all, training! I'll have you do chuuni training!" 
"No before that 'first of all' of yours I'd like an explanation." 
Azrael wasn't listening. 
She did a twirl, let her long, black hair sway in the air, and announced… 
"Your first training— Collect the 'Angel Wings' that are located somewhere in this world!" 
"No, I'm a gamemaster, I can get any item at any time." 
"Ah, t-that's right… No, do it yourself! Collect them by hand!" 
"No, I'm a gamemaster, I'm busy." 
"And that's more important than marriage?!" 
"If you ask me to pick one..." 
"Gununununu," Azrael appeared vexed with her face deep-red. 
"H-Hmph, you'd prioritize the mission I gave you, right…?! You did well, Sasaraki." 
"I've no idea what I did well, though." 
"However! I'm not a cheap girl you can make your wife by just a kiss—!" 
 
"Make my wife? You already are my wife (pro forma)." 
"Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-?!" 
Her face went red from her earlobes to the nape of her neck. 
"A-A-A-A-Aaaaaaaanyways—!" 
Azrael brandished her two swords and pointed them at Sasaraki, shouting in a loud voice… 
"ON TOP OF WEATHERING MY TRAINING, YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME IN A DUEL— 
THOSE! ARE MY CONDITIONS—!" 
"No, I already told you, what conditions are you talking a—" 
The moment he tried to retort, Azrael obstructed her mouth with her hand. 
"—Uuh—?!" 
She sunk to her knees. 
"Wai—, Azrael?! What's wrong?!" 
"I-I don't know… I'm feeling a bit dizzy…" 
"Dizzy?!" 
The 'Reality Control System' should greatly restrain any features that give players discomfort. Could even the PCR be bugged? That'd be a far graver issue than the flooding of— He was thinking, when… 
*Bump*. 
 
 
 
"Eh—?" 
Azrael grew fat all of a sudden. 
Her belly inflated into a perfect sphere. 
Rather than having simply grown fat, no matter how you looked at it, she— 
"—Eh? You're pregnant?" 
"————————————————Hah?" 
Azrael looked downwards at her own belly and her eyes almost popped out of her head. *Badumm*. For some reason you could hear that kind of sound coming from there. Her violet one-piece got pushed up. *Stare*. After staring at her own belly for a while, Azrael… 
"WHAT IS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS—?!" 
...screamed. 
"Nowaynowaynoway, this gotta be a joke, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY—?!" 
"Eh? Ah… M-Maybe because we kissed?!" 
"Didn't we put on a contraception patch—?!" 
"Oh right… Errr, Fury—!" 
He called the person concerned for now. 
*Puff*, smoke arose and Fury took the stage. 
"Aye-aye? You called, Master I-Suck-at-Romance??" 
"Why so cruel all of a sudden?! Actually, forget that, Azrael got pregnant!" 
"Heh?" 
Fury raised her voice in rare disarray. 
She stared at Azrael's protruding belly. 
"Didn't we use a contraception patch—?!" 
 
"Huh? Yes, why did she get pregnant— Ah, now I understand?" 
Putting her hand to her chin, Fury nodded deeply, "Yes, yes…" 
"Master, it's the same as usual, you know??" 
"Same as usual?!" 
"In other words—" 
Fury produced a billboard (she had for some reason). 
On it, it said in big letters: [It's not a bug, it's a feature.] 
"The patch didn't work too well— that's quite the frequent feature?" 
"UWAAAH?!" 
That certainly does happen quite often, but… 
What should we do? We went from getting married through a bug to getting pregnant. 
"Well, there's no problem, right?? After all, Master loves Azrael-san?" 
Leaving that nonsense-spouting fairy alone, Sasaraki nervously looked at Azrael. 
She was still dumbfounded. Looking at her own belly. 
"———————————————Th…" 
After a moment later, she shouted... 
"THERE ARE NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS HEEEEEEEEEEERE—!" 
And began to cry. 
"SASARAKI, D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIIIIIIIIIIIIS?!" 
"Uwaah, wai—, Azrael—?!" 
She grabbed and shook him by the scruff of his neck. 
 
"WHAT. ARE. YOU. GO. ING. TO. DO. A. BOUT. THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS?!" 
Even if she asked him what he was going to do about it, there was nothing anyone could do. 
This world was just something, no one could do anything about. 
"Ah, you shouldn't do that, Azrael-san, if you rise your hand against Master—?" 
That moment. A system window popped up, [Matrimonial Quarrel Prevention System]. Azrael was repelled from him like a homopolar magnet. And since they'd been on top of the castle walls, being repelled meant Azrael was in freefall down the walls. 
"Ah—" 
*Wooosh*. *Badump*. 
[Player Azrael Died. Reason: Fall Damage *The baby will be unharmed] 
An info window showed up. 
Looking down from the castle walls, Sasaraki saw (pregnant) Azrael's corpse dissolving into sparkles. 
Sasaraki stood there frozen for about five seconds. Finally, he mumbled… 
"...Fury, what am I going to do?" 
"There's nothing you can do, is there??" 
That moment a message arrived from Lizna. 
[Sasaraki-kun, is it true that you suddenly confessed to Azrael?! Congratulations! 
Tonight will be red bean rice, right?! I'll also get a celebration cake, so let's do an offline meeting! Ah, of course you'll get to sit next to Azrael-san—]