I am inseparable with Shuoxue now and I bring her on nightly adventures around St Txarango. The me now is like the wind and peeking into girls’ rooms without being found is effortless to me. But I won’t do it, would such an upright gentleman like myself commit such wayward evil acts? All I do is steal Harry’s collection.
“Recently, my collection is dwindling,” Harry complains to me during class.
I sit with him at the same table, in the corner of the classroom. The two of us are of the same feather, and are anchors for our class in test result rankings so teachers give the seats with the worst visibility of the board to us. I can’t help it, even if I was a top student back on earth, why bother learning magic if I have zero talent? Might as well use the time to sleep.
“There’s a thief huh, I answered.
“Maybe… He only stole from my collection though, and left my gold alone. Oh! He also stole my cookies, those were baked for me by Monica! I haven’t even tasted one yet.”
“This is retribution, divine punishment from God.”
“No way, ” Harry replied with fear in his voice, “Is God a jealous single?”
“Who knows.”
“Actually what he’s stealing is not a big deal, he only steals the loli books that I don’t read. I only got those because they were bundled together with my big sister books, they hold no value to me.”
“What? What do you mean by “no value”? My dear stupid Harry, I had thought you were dumb but you aren’t just dumb, you are blind and unable to see the treasures before you. Let me tell you a saying from my hometown: Lolis are justice! From now on, buy more loli books.”
“No no no, I beg to differ. Though everyone has their own kink, broadly speaking, older women with big breasts are more popular right? Men can’t help but to be attracted to women with maternalistic features like their mothers.”
(TL: Harry isn’t normal either)
“God, I brought this stupid horse to the water but I can’t make it drink.”
(TL: Some idioms here that lose their meanings in translation. Literal: Weak wood that cannot be carved, lousy earth that cannot hold up a wall)
“Right back at you, having interests that are completely abnormal…”
2 books from Mr Hvaler ended our conversation.
Though I like Shuoxue very much, she is a little different from what I had thought of her.
Her blade looks sharp, and the reflection off the blade made one shudder in fear but she is unable to cut anything. I experimented with many objects, and apart from a piece of bread with much effort, nothing could be cut. Even a tear was impossible with objects that were slightly harder. The blade was blunt beyond imagination, like a stick; but because Shuoxue was so light, even a stick had more destructive power.
This is that sort of thing isn’t it, like a gun of kindness that is unable to fire bullets, is Shuoxue a sword of kindness that is unable to cut anything?
(TL: Not sure is there is a reference for the gun)
A sudden realisation hit me as to why William said with full confidence that I absolutely cannot hurt him. Perhaps it is not that he judged that I am weaker than him but rather that he knows that Shuoxue is so blunt, she cannot even cut clothes.
Even though it looks so thin and sharp… Why is it unable to cut anything? It’s curious for reality to have such conflicting results from what is perceived. Maybe there is some spell on the blade. Just as I was stroking the blade in my room while deep in thought, a prickling pain came from my fingertips.
“Wu.”
There was a scratch on my finger and bloodstains all over the blade.
Eh? How did I scratch my finger? I gingerly touched the edge of the blade, it’s still blunt.
After a detailed inspection, I noticed that there was a U-shaped chip in the blade near the hilt. It was shallow and not easily noticeable. When I pressed my finger to it, the skin immediately tore and blood dripped out.
I went to get tissues from my wardrobe to clean Shuoxue but when I got back, the blade was clean and shiny with not a speck of blood on it.
When I held Shuoxue, the hilt gave me a chill to the bone and the blade seemed like it was emitting a cold draught.
It was clearly hot outside like it should be at the peak of summer, with the glorious sun banishing any dark clouds, resulting in clear blue skies as far as the eye can see.
I swallowed, and raised Shuoxue. After doing a quick scan of the room, I lightly swung at a wooden table nearby.
The blade passed through the table but I didn’t feel like I had cut anything – Until I touched the table, whereupon it split in 2 and fell to the ground, with traces of ice crystals along the cut.
“For destruction of property, it will be a fine of 200 gold pieces.”
The head instructor delivered the verdict heartlessly and took away all the gold I was holding and started counting it on the table.
“So, so many…This is 2 months of saving from my allowance.”
“Then you should have never used the furniture in the room to try your sword on.”
How would I know that it was cut apart so easily.
“Where did you get that white sword?”
“Wi…Someone gifted it to me.”
I nearly blurted out the secret of William’s health before I remembered that it hasn’t been announced yet.
“Don’t swing it around wildly again, if you do this again, the fine will be double.” The head instructor warned as he stared daggers at me.
“Oh… Head instructor, I heard that the name of Faburando can pardon me from anything once so please let me off this time. I will starve without money.”
“You used your name long ago when you slept in class on your first day in school, did you forget? Mr Hvaler woke you up then but did not send you to stand outside class.”
“There was such a thing?”
That seemed to have actually happened! No way, I wasted such a powerful privilege on such a thing.
“Un, 200 pieces, the number is correct.” The head instructor confirms as he lovingly puts the gold pieces one by one into the drawer with one hand while stroking his long beard that reached his stomach with the other. “Tch tch tch tch, my lovely gold fairies…Why are you still standing here? Get out!”
Those were supposed to be my lovely fairies. I walked out of the head instructor’s office despondently. What should I do, it’s only the beginning of the month but I’ve used up all my money. Tina never gives me an advance on my allowance and Harry frequently updates his collection so I can’t expect him to have much money. In this world, the people I know stop there.
I will never find blondie for help, not even if I have to starve.
First I’ll survive for a few days on the cookies I stole from Harry. To be honest, those cookies are really really really terrible. When i first tried them, I couldn’t continue after one piece but it’s a good thing I didn’t throw them away then. I didn’t expect that they were baked by Ms Monica. I thought Harry made them homself. Monica, your cooking really sucks.
Instead of filling my stomach, I’m more concerned about Shuoxue. I was spot on, she seems to be a magic sword. Other than the chip, the rest of the blade was blunt to the point it could barely slice bread. But after spreading some blood on the blade, the chip will be filled with ice and the blade will emit a bloodcurdling chill and cut through steel like butter. But when the ice at the chip melted, she became as blunt as a stick.
Becoming sharp upon drinking blood, it was as if she was sentient.
Maybe I shouldn’t call her Shuoxue, maybe I should call her vampire instead.
As the morning sunshine spilled into room, I should still be asleep at this early time when even the birds were still in bed. But today I was awoken by pain from my neck, which felt like I was bitten by a stray cat.
“Hello master~”
A strange little girl appeared before me. Her eyes were pure white, as was her long hair which seem to envelop her whole body. In the gaps between her hair, her skin could be seen to be white like porcelain as well… I could feel that she wasn’t wearing anything and was twisting about while straddling me.
“So cold…Ouch!”
She bit down into my neck and started drinking with the vigor of a baby at the bottle. I could feel rapid blood loss and a lack of oxygen to my brain.
“Stop! What are you doing!”
“Just one mouthful, just one mouthful.”
Get lost you. It took me quite a bit of effort to get her off me. She knelt on the bed, licking her slips with a satisfied look. Her face was still covered with blood stains and it streamed down her neck to her breasts, stomach, and…
“AHHHHHHHHHH Why aren’t you wearing anything!”
(TL: Est from Seirei Tsukai, obvious inspiration is obvious)
“Hmhm, nice body right~” Despite having the face of a child who couldn’t be much older than 10, her smile was very devilish, “Just follow through on your urges and desires and eat me master! I know that you are a perverted lolicon who only goes for titles with “Grade Schooler”, “Underage” or “Little Sister” in them whenever you steal erotic books! Now look at this sexy 12-year-old body! You can’t hold back anymore right!
(TL: Author really uses transliteration of lolicon, where such cases occur, I will honor the author’s wishes)
“How do you know what I like!?”
My gentleman image that I have been working hard to create!
“Of course I would know, you brought me along with you.”
“Ah?”
“After drinking your blood, I awoke from my slumber. Your blood is truly a delicacy, out of 100 I would give it 98, the 2 marks deducted are for skipping meals yesterday. It made it a bit bland.”
“Wait wait wait wait.”
I scanned the room. Shuoxue, which I placed beside the wardrobe, was gone and only the empty sheath was there.
“Are you… Shuoxue?”
“Un!” The little girl nodded with a bright smile as she licked the blood on her lips.
“Why are you naked? Is it because of the sheath?”
“Because I feel master likes it that way~ I can create clothes as well.”
“Is that so.” I pondered for a moment, “Create a school swimsuit.”
“Watch.”
Oh ho, a school swimsuit exactly like those from manga and anime appeared on her. Come to think of it, this is my first time seeing it in the flesh. Un, so-so I guess.
“What about gothic clothing?”
“Watch.”
This, is great! 100% moe max! The subtle matching of red and black, cute intricate pleats, long sleeves with fretwork patterns, with a belt at the waist, silk stockings with dark stripes, and the most glorious piece to complete it were the pair of thin-heeled stilettos which were the perfect balance between mature charm and young innocence….
“Master your eyes look like those of a beast.”
“Gym uniform?”
“Change.”
“Sailor school uniform?”
“Change.”
“Nurse?”
“Change.”
“Bunny girl?”
“Stop it you damned pervert, don’t use me like a dress up doll.” Shuoxue said as she stopped her endless changes, “The previous master was much more proper than you.”
My eyebrows raised in surprise.
“How many masters have you had?”
“Including you, only 2. The first was, ” Shuoxue paused as she looked at the calendar hanging on the wall, “Let me see, the first master was over 10 millennia ago.”
“10 millennia ago?”
“About there, I don’t remember the details.”
“How old are you?”
“I am an energetic 12 year young little girl~”
Bullshit, taking me for an idiot?
“My present form looks about 12 years old right? My looks won’t change so I’m forever 12. Aren’t you happy, master? I’m a loli with no expiry!”
“The sheath says that the date of manufacturing is 2 years ago.”
“That’s the sheath, not me. When I was born, humans didn’t even know how to use magic yet.”
“What kind of person was your first master like?” I was very interested to find out.
Shuoxue used her index finger to support her chin and shook her bare legs as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“A very boring man, with a cold attitude… Dull… Poor communication skills… Seems like he knows nothing but swordsmanship. But later on after meeting a woman, he slowly turned cute…”
On saying that, she leapt over with a big smile plastered on her face.
“Just kidding master~ You’re so much cuter than him!”
“Move move move.” I pushed her away by pushing her face.
Don’t come so close, my body and heart is Tina’s! Even if you are more loli than her I won’t fall to you. I Molan Faburando am a man who stays faithful to one in both actions and feelings.
“Were you always a sword?”
“That’s right, I was born as a greatsword but I was modified after my slumber… But my first memories were of me as a greatsword. My then-master used me to kill many people, ” Shuoxue said as she smiled alluringly with closed lips, “People called him the Sword Saint.”
“Sword saint… Does he hold the sword upright facing the sky with both hands and shout “Weng weng weng” while regenerating health?”
(TL: Master Yi from League, See: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FamQaPgGpFM)
“What are you talking about?”
No? Boring.
“Because we took many lives, there were always people after us. Sometimes humans would also request for assassination services from hs. But most times, it was just the two of us wandering the world freely. He said he had neither kin nor friends, and truly had no ties to the world which is how he mastered the strongest sword skills. Oh man, let me tell you, his swordsmanship was downright amazing!”
Shuoxue leapt up and snatched the sheath from my hands and imitated the movements of the Sword Saint, complete with sound effects. With her hair that reached her feet, she looked like a little madman as she jumped about.
“Coming and going without a sign! Killing without leaving a trace! Whenever the blade fell, there would be a sea of blood and a mountain of corpses! I never had to hunger following him. Though he usually had no charisma whatsoever, when he held a sword his coolness overflowed like BOOMBOOMBOOM!”
She leapt over again.
“But of course you are much cooler~”
“Okay okay, I’m not jealous, continue the story.”
“The Sword Saint defeated innumerable enemies and left legends of his exploits everywhere he went. But it all ended when he was captured by humans and executed by royalty.”
The plot ended so suddenly, I couldn’t even react. Shuoxue went silent, and leaned against my chest as she sat on my thighs, not uttering a single word. Perhaps she was reliving good memories, perhaps she was overwhelmed by sadness. Her body was ice-cold and hugging her felt like hugging an ice sculpture.
After a moment, she continued the story.
At the very end, the Sword Saint knelt with his head down before the guillotine like a beaten dog. Those with grievances with the Sword Saint were uncountable and those who gathered to watch were enough to fill a city. As the blade fell down and his head rolled across the stone pavement, the gathered crowd cheered as though it were a joyous festival.
What could have made the intractable and indomitable Sword Saint prostrate himself in defeat? Maybe it’s affection, maybe it’s love.
Against the kinless Sword Saint, the rulers had kidnapped his lover.
She was an ordinary girl he met on his journeys. When they had first met, she was scattering bait by a lake and a gentle breeze blew her long skirt, revealing her calves.
The girl was used as a hostage to coerce the Sword Saint into walking into a trap. He took up his greatsword and boldly went to where he was directed to, confident of being able to handle any trap or enemy, no matter what. He believed he would slaughter his way through countless enemies, just like he always did, save the love of his life and escape unscathed to continue an endless journey.
But alas, he could never have guessed that what awaited him was that very girl, pointing a sword at him in the large hallway, cursing and yelling at him to pay his debt of blood.
The Sword Saint had killed the girl’s father and she had deceived him all this while for the sake of revenge. She wasn’t kidnapped, rather it was a collaborative trap between her and the rulers. When the Sword Saint learnt of the truth, he lost his will to fight and his grip on the greatsword loosened and it fell spinning to the ground. The troops who were lying in wait swooped in immediately and bound him whereupon the emperor decreed that he was to be executed the very same day by beheading as a show of royal might.
And so the Sword Saint died and Shuoxue went into a deep slumber. Only after Molan pricked his finger at the blade chip 10,000 years later did she stir from her slumber.
“He deserved it, he deserved it.” Shuoxue said as she rubbed her face against my chest.
“He deserved it, who asked him to fall in love? And so the invincible Sword Saint became an ordinary man. Please don’t repeat his mistake master, if you die I’ll have to go to sleep again so please don’t fall in love with anyone. If you must, fall in love with me!”
“If you want me to fall in love with you then don’t drink my blood first.”
“Eh! Okay, I’ll go drink others’ then.”
“No!”
I knocked her on the head with my fist.
“No blood consumption.”
“I will die of hunger!” She cries while shaking her head with tears in her eyes.
“Then suck blood from animals, chicken pig cow whatever.”
“But the blood of animals tastes bad.”
“If not then deal with hunger then.”
“Okay…” Shuoxue agrees grudgingly, “I’ll start with pigs but animal blood is really bad-tasting and it doesn’t fill my stomach. If I can’t take it anymore, master must remember to save me.”
“How to save you?”
Her eyes turned murderous instantly.
“Just kill someone.”
Another fist of mine came crashing down on Shuoxue.
“Oh right, I seemed to have forgotten about that.”
“What is that?”
“You bit my neck…”
There was no way my blood platelets could stop the bleeding from Shuoxue tearing open my arteries. I was so engrossed in speaking with her that I had forgotten my neck was bleeding… As I raised my hand to check, I was shocked.
“It recovered long ago, my saliva has healing effects, just like healing spells, amazing right~” Shuoxue said as she stuck out her pink and delicate to me, “Just licky lick and your wounds are all good! But this is ineffective on all but you master because we have a pact of blood.”
Shuoxue grabbed onto my neck.
“That’s why master should give me one more bite. I can heal it up anyway and I promise I’ll only drink as much as you are still barely alive! No more after that! On account of my 10,000 year old hunger, promise me~”
“Get off get off get off get off! I am scared of you sucking me dry and then resurrecting me! I am also about to face a crisis and have nothing to eat for a month. You know how precious blood is to me ri…Ouch! You bitch! I told you not to bite!
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