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Love Dependency Disease - Volume 3 - Chapter 63




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Volume 3, Chapter 63: Xiao Yu's diary

TL: flarewk

"Prez, Ma Qing Xue, I'll go out for awhile."

There were some things, that needed to be said clearly to Xiao Yu, and since I've thought distinctly about it, I don't wish to leave behind any regrets; I just wanted to tell my heart's most frank thoughts towards her, that's all.

"Zhang Jian.....you.....need our help on it?"

"No need, it's better for the doer to undo what he's done, I'll handle this matter by myself."

"But....your sister....."

Of course I knew about what Prez was worrying about, and I'm not clear on what Xiao Yu was exactly thinking right now, and although there's a high probability that it's a trap, but I don't want to let this opportunity go.

"Your wound......"

"It's fine already!"

"Alright....but....you'd better bring this along too, and hide it well, this is a product of my company, the best quality of GPS ever made!"

"Thanks Prez, I'll take my move first."

Stepping out of the entrance of the hospital, I then finally realized where I exactly had been, I didn't knew that I've returned back to my hometown, and I was still wondering where I was too......

"Today is.....Tuesday huh.....lao bà will be at home today I guess......"

Unhesitatingly, I decided to first return home to visit lao bà.

Walking on the familiarish streets, I listened to the familiar dialects conversed by passerbys, with a sense of inexpressible intimacy overcoming me. My home wasn't too far from the hospital itself, so I reached there rather quickly.

Knock, knock, knock.

I knocked onto the entrance doors, and after a moment, someone expectedly came to open it; I was right, lao bà was indeed at home today.

"You disobedient brat, so you've still dared to return home, I'll definitely break your legs today!"

"Wait wait! Lao bà, we can talk nicely, what did I do again this time!"

"Your girlfriend came all the way to our home to look for you! Spit out, where have you ran too recently, was it done by Xiao Yu!"

"It wasn't Xiao Yu, I just disobediently went missing for a period of time......"

Lao bà's expression looked to be exponentially raging, so it's better not to tell him the truth in any case.

"Ay~ yeoh, so you've grown up, and now started to get bold already eh?"

"Lao bà, don't forget, the location of where your house-savings is still in my hands, be careful that I'll tell lao mà!"

After Lao bà heard what I spoke, his expression instanteously changed from a raging exploding bull to a benovelant calmly Santa.

"My dearest son, how's life at another province, is your allowance still enough to spend? If it isn't then just let me know, anyone in the world can suffer but not children!"

As expected of Lao bà to be a society elite, this face-changing speed....tsk tsk tsk........

"I actually wanted to return home for a visit, and if there's nothing else, I'll first make a move...."

"Son, hold on, you.....go on and pick up Xiao Yu at the school...... your mom's resting tomorrow, and will return home tonight; our family.......is eating tonight."

Lao bà gave off a sigh, and suddenly had an expression of self-loathing onto himself. Thinking about it carefully, when was the last time me and my family had a meal together....it's far too long that I've completely forgotten when it was already.

"Sigh, me and your mom usually are busy with our work, and didn't had time to bond with you all, not to mention even having the time to take care of Xiao Yu properly, hence we gave the responsibility of taking care of meimei to you, but we didn't thought that it'll become like this.... I've decided tomorrow to apply for leave for a period of time, to accompany Xiao Yu at home, help me pass this on to her....."

"Lao bà, if there's anything to say then do it yourself!"

I unhesitatingly rejected lao bà's request without remorse, even though it's his daughter so why was he shy in the first place.......

"After you've left, Xiao Yu transferred into a boarding school, plus you went to another province as well.... that was because I who as a father didn't do his responsibilities well, if I was to be able to think about both of your feelings at that time, then now our family wouldn't be separated like this already......"

"Lao bà, enough already, actually I'm in the wrong as well, I didn't take care ofmeimei properly....."

"No, it's my fault, I was too anxious for results at that time....."

"Then as compensation, properly accompany Xiao Yu for these few days then, I'll definitely bring her back tonight!"

I only hoped that I won't be knocked unconscious again after I've located Xiao Yu........


I walked into my room and glanced around, it was still very clean inside, there's probably someone who cleaned it often, except that I didn't know who's the one doing the cleaning all these while. By the way, I've rarely entered inside Xiao Yu's room....she always refused to let me into her room, and since she's not around now anyway, I might as well go in and have a peek then.

Xiao Yu's room was very tidy, and a photograph of me and her was being displayed on the study table; that was taken when we were young, the photograph had me piggybacking Xiao Yu, and she had a pure innocent smile on her face.

I pulled open her drawer, it was empty inside, but when I wanted to close back the drawers it felt like it had gotten stuck somehow; it's probably something stuck between the layers of drawers.

"This is......"

I drew out the entire drawer, and underneath the drawer there's a pale-yellowish notebook. I picked up the notebook and flipped through it plainly, the handwriting were Xiao Yu's, and according to the contents on it, this should be a diary, which I didn't expect her to have a habit of writing a diary at all.

'Today is Sunday, gege brought me out to play~ Although mommy and daddy aren't around which made me very sad, but gege treats me extremely well, I had a lot of fun today, I love gege the most already!'

'Today is Wednesday, gege cooked some food for me to eat~ Although it's extremely disgusting, but when I thought that it was being made by gege, I still managed to finish all of it, and gege even praised me too, I love gege the most already!'

'Today is Monday, from today onwards I'll be a middle-school student, when gegecame back today he looked extremely tired, so I went to massage gege, althoughgege didn't wake up, but his expression looked to be extremely comfortable, gegemust be having such a hard time........'

'Today I'm being confessed in school by a boy, although he looked to be quite handsome, but....compared to gege he's still ten thousand miles way off~ Next time I must find a husband who's as gentle as gege!'

'Today, although there's nothing major happening at all, but today daddy and mummy are at home, gege as well, all of us happily ate a meal together.........'

Xiao Yu's diary mostly recorded a few interesting events of a normal daily life, and there wasn't anything out of the ordinary too, and as I slowly flipped through the diary, my thoughts also flew back to the past, although me and Xiao Yu looked to be only having a month's age difference, but the gap within our heart, were wholly separated for 2 whole years.

'Today......I was being scold by someone as an ugly bitch, that boy who confessed to me last time also said that to me as well.... although I'm very sad, but I must still be strong in front of gege, I can't let gege worry for me about this.'

'Today my bag was being thrown by someone into the toilet bowl..... gege always said that I'm a strong child.... so I must endure over this!'

'Today....my clothes were nearly stripped off by those boys, luckily I like to bring a small knife to sharpen my pencils, so I used my knife and stopped them, but I still accidentally injured a few of them..... when I returned home daddy then scolded me fiercely, and gege's giving me the cold shoulder as well, is his mood not feeling that well today?'

'Today, a lot of girls bullied me together.... I endured, and I told the teacher, but the teacher didn't believe me.... after I returned home I'm being scolded by mummy, even gege.....gege too......'

'Today, I didn't go to school, I don't want to go, and I don't know why too, I didn't made them mad at all, but why.....did they want to bully me....... what did I exactly do wrong? After I went home, daddy nearly beat me up because I didn't attend school, but gege stopped daddy, as expected....the person who I can only depend on is only gege... after I told gege what happened plainly, gege says that it's my fault.... says that I shouldn't carry a knife with me, so I shouldn't retaliate at all?'

'Today, is a rainy day, I really don't want to go to school, especially her, that girl who bullied me from the very start, it's all her, why didn't she die already....because of her, me and gege's relationship had turned horrible..... after school....the hairband that gege gave me was being thrown inside the boy's toilet and flushed away.... so I injured many people again.... when I came home, daddy wasn't around, and gegeignored me too.....'

'Today I was being severely punished by teacher and daddy mummy.... it's the first time that daddy hit me, and my face was extremely painful.... I didn't do anything wrong, they were in the wrong, why you've hit me instead! Why don't you just listen to my explanation! I cried and begged gege for help.....but gege actually..... he actually sided with daddy and said that I'm in the wrong!'

'Today, is a stormy weather, everytime there's someone who tried to bully me, I'll just the small knife and cut him! A knife is a really good thing, a knife won't betray me.... a knife can protect me!'

'Today is a good day, I punished every single person who bullied me before, but a pity is that I've only cut that girl once before someone stopped me......'

'Today, I've been expelled from school.... I heard that daddy spent a huge amount of money to prevent this matter from spreading, afterwards I transferred into the same school as gege, and I've also found the reason why gege was ignoring me.'

'Someone snatched away my gege, I must take back my gege who belongs to me and only me!'

The last entry of the diary, were just that few line of sentences, Xiao Yu was writing it on and off messily; so I've really understood it too one-sidedly that time, I've only thought that Xiao Yu injuring people at school was me and Lao bà's fault of spoiling her too often, and I who didn't understand the truth that time still was a little pleased as well, even thinking that I successfully taught Xiao Yu a lesson... thinking carefully, even how severe that Xiao Yu was being spoiled at by us, it won't be logical for her to use a knife to injure people without reason.....

And Xiao Yu also, why didn't she just tell us the truth  as well.....no .... she seemed to have explained it clearly that time.... but, me and lao bà ignored it at that time.......

I was wrong at first, and Xiao Yu was wrong thereafter, both of us were in the wrong, but my wrongs were even greater!

Xiao Yu only wanted my concern, and wanted to be with me together.... thinking back carefully, no matter whether if it's her age or the situation happening at that time, she needed someone to support her spiritually, but I was like an idiot, acting the part of a stern brother.....

So it's really because of those events huh... the real and base reason why Xiao Yu would change so dramatically.......

I once again placed the diary back, and breathed in a deep mouthful of air; during these two years, if I was to really show concern for her, even if it's just a little while! It'll probably be a different outcome by now......

I hide from her, escaped from her, and treated Xiao Yu like a lunatic.... I thought she had some kind of mental illness.... but now, it looked like there wasn't any at all in the first place.... but it was being forced out by me!

The person who truly should be apologizing, is me, and since I originally loved Xiao Yu a lot, why must I be so obstinate onto straying far from her thinking that it's a smart decision, not only I've suffered from this, but I made Xiao Yu take in the suffering as well, even though there's a more gentle way of distancing between us..........

"Son, it's almost after school hours already, quickly go and pick up Xiao Yu."

"Mm, Lao bà, go and buy 2 kilos of braised pork, Xiao Yu loves eating that."

"Do you really need to remind me?"

"Hahaha, true, I'll make a move first then, Lao bà remember to buy some beef as well."

It's time to find Xiao Yu and apologize to her..... hopefully she'll be able to forgive this foolish brother of her's........

 

-ch 63 end-



TL: Dayum, this chapter totally changed the way I view this novel. So this is how a yandere is formed: psychologically. Be careful on how you treat your sister(daughter) as well!

Glossary:
lao bà/mà = informal way to address a father/mother. Literally translates to 'old dad/mom' (old man/woman)

meimei = 'younger sister'





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