Love Hina - Volume 1 - Chapter 2.2

PART II:

CHAPTER 2: OPERATION: HOSPITALITY! 

3o, that’s basically it, Keitaro. It’s all yours.” 
Aunt Haruka handed me a notebook. I read her handwriting: September 12^, 4people, 2 nights. September 13*^, 1 person, 1 night. Lots of other little details were written in the margins. 
I had no clue what any of this meant. 
“What’s this? Your vacation plan?” I asked. 
She glared at me, her cigarette dangling from her lips. “They’re inn customers. They’ll be staying here for a few nights.” She flicked her ashes away. “Grandma asked me to take care of them, but I can’t just leave the shop unattended.” 
“Inn? Customers? Where exactly are they supposed to be staying?” I asked, disbelieving. 

“At the Hinata House, of course.” 
I held my head in my hands. The Hinata House is a dormitory. I had my hands full just trying to keep things running smoothly with a couple of wacky girls; I really couldn’t imagine taking care of guests. 

Haruka, are you crazy? 

But she wasn’t kidding. She towered over me and said, “Look. You are a pathetic, three-time entrance exam loser. You’re going to cram school, and you’re the manager of an all-girls dorm.” 

“Please don’t remind me.” 
“Just shut up and listen,” she snapped. “When Grandma decided to make this place a dorm, several inn customers were saddened by this. They thought the place was really nostalgic. Grandma tried to recommend a few nearby hot springs’ hotels, but they’d been coming to Hinata Inn for years, and they prefer to keep coming here . . .” 

So it appeared that Grandma appeased her regular customers by promising to open the Hinata Inn once in a while, to take them in. This autumn, it was to open for four days. 

“So, don’t we need to call Grandma Hinata and have her come back for a week?” 
“A woman’s feelings are complex, Keitaro.” 
“What do you mean?” 
Aunt Haruka sighed. “Most of the customers will be retired folks. Some of them have even been coming here since before the war.” 
“So?” 
So how old do you think Grandma was back then?” 
I shrugged. Um . . . Let’s see . . . How old are you, Auntie?” 
She slapped me on both cheeks and continued on as if I hadn’t spoken. “Back then, Grandma Hinata used to be the town beauty. She attracted customers to the inn.” 

I couldnt imagine Grandma Hinata without tons of wrinkles. When I tried hard to picture the town beauty, I kept seeing Naru in a silk kimono, during New Year celebrations. “I’m having a hard time believing it.” 

Aunt Haruka just shrugged. “Everyone was young once. Anyway, in order not to crush the regular customers’ dreams, Grandma decided she’d stay away on her vacation. She doesn’t want them to see her looking old. But some of these guests . . . well, they made their reservations ages ago. We can’t refuse them now. We need to run Hinata Inn without Grandma, okay? So, good luck!” 

Dude! There’s no way I could run the Hinata Inn, even for a few days. I tried to protest, but Aunt Haruka just barreled past me, saying, “I turned in the paperwork to the city office. I got you a culinary license, so there shouldn’t be any problems!” 

“Paperwork is not the point!” I said. “How many customers are coming?” 

“About thirty,” she said nonchalantly. 

I flipped out. “How can I take care of all those people all by myself?” 

“I didn’t say you had to do it alone, Keitaro.” She lit up another cigarette, smiled, and pointed at the Hinata House. “You have a good group of employees right there.”  
 
I'11 help! I’ll help!” Suu shouted, bouncing around. “You serve the guests food and alcohol, and then sleep with them, just like the geisha in the old samurai movies, right? I saw one on TV!” 
I pressed the bridge of my nose between my fingers. 
“Suu, don’t learn weird stuff from TV!” Shinobu said, then looked at me. “Um, Keitaro ... I think I can help with the cooking.” 
Shinobu was always so sweet. “Thank you,” I said. 
“I’ll help!” Suu said again. “And Sara too!” 
“Don’t volunteer me,” Sara said. 
I sighed. “Thank you, Suu. But Sara is still in grade school, so, I can’t make her work.” 
 
“Oh, it’s all right!” Suu insisted, clutching Sara close. “This new invention of mine is a growth tonic. The blue pills make you age, and the red pills turn you back into a kid. So, no worries about those pesky child labor laws! Come on, Sara, take . . . Wait . . .” She frowned. “Was it the blue pill that made you grow? Or the red? Oh well, just try one and see.” 
Sara paled and tried to escape, but Suu held her close, attempting to pour the pills right into Saras mouth. 
Shinobu’s eyes glazed over. “Oh dear, if only I could become a grownup too.” 
Suddenly, Kitsune bounced down the stairs and plucked the bottle right out of Suu’s hands. “Hey, quit it.” 
“Aw, but. . .” Suu whined. 
Kitsune interrupted her, saying, “I’ll help too, Keitaro. I’m more useful than Sara, anyway.” 

“Quit acting so high and mighty, Kitsune!” Sara said, pouting. 

I couldn’t believe my ears. “Kitsune? You’re actually going to work?” 

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” 

But, Kitsune, I said, you like naps, and drinking, and gambling. Youve never had a real job. You barely graduated high school and your favorite phrase is, marry wealthy.’ So, working at the inn might be a bit too rough for you—” 

You didnt have to go that far,” Kitsune muttered. 

Look. I m a Hinata House resident. I’ve been here the longest, in fact. I remember when this place used to be the Hinata Inn. 111 be glad to pitch in.” She gathered up her hair. And offer . . . she unbuttoned her blouse to expose more cleavage. . . . my services.” She licked her lips. “You doubt my sincerity, Keitaro?” 

She grabbed my head and pushed my face right into her cleavage. I couldnt see a thing, but sweet softness surrounded me. 

“What are you ffmmmm Kitsuneeee.” 

“Oh, Keitaro, if you breathe so hard like that, it’s going to drive me wild! she said in a lusty voice, and hugged me closer. 

“Hey, Keitaro! You’ll let me work, right? Please say yes!” Sara started begging. 

I almost lost my mind, right then. 

Suddenly, a voice called out. “Enough already!” 

KICK! 

My spine almost cracked in half under the blow. 

Kitsune and I fell to the floor together. 

“Whoa!” I yelped. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe— my mouth was full of something soft. It felt. . . kinda good. 

“Keitaro is sucking Kitsune s boob! Sara squealed. 

I snapped back like a spring. 

“You went too far,” Kitsune said darkly. 

“You jerk!” Naru said, approaching me with her fists clenched. I could see flames in her eyes. 

I thought it best to beg for my life. “No, Narusegawa! It was totally an accident! You’re the one who kicked me .. . Ack!” 

Naru kicked me in the mouth. She continued to stomp on my face like she was squishing the life out of a cockroach. My head slammed back onto the floor and I saw stars. 

“Get it together,” Naru said, glaring down at me. “You have less than a week before the customers come, right?” 

I looked up, surprised. “Naru? Are you going to help me?” 

“What? You don’t want me to?” 
“No, that’s great.” I expected Naru to be too busy studying to help out. 
She nodded. “Your grandmother promised them, right?” 
“Yes.” 
“Maybe some of the guests had a crush on her when she was younger.” 
“Grandma was married!” 
“I’m talking about before that!” Naru said. “Who knows? Maybe she was in love with one special customer, but he was drafted. He came to the inn to say goodbye for the last time, but neither of them could express their true feelings!” Her eyes twinkled. 
“Yeah, that’s gotta be it,” I said, rolling my eyes. 
“But after the war, he never returned. Grandmother, in order to keep the inn in business, was forced to marry some rich guy.” 
 
Wait, wait. Rich guy? Forced to marry? So my mom and Aunt Yoko were products of a loveless marriage? 
“Then one day, he was finally released from a POW camp in Siberia. He traveled all the way back here, and stood before the inn, anxious to see his one true love.” She sighed. “But life is cruel. Grandmother was married, with children. They didn’t speak a word, but only gazed into each others eyes and wondered what might have been.” 
Naru stepped closer, straddling me. “Grandmother stepped toward him, but she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t keep her promise, so instead she remained behind, and turned the inn into an all-girls dormitory.” 
“Um, that was a pretty recent development,” I reminded her. 
“Oh, that’s right.” Naru snapped out of her fantasy. She scratched her head. “But, you don’t know. Maybe there was some kind of romantic promise, and that’s why Grandmother won’t come back from her trip—she can’t bear to face him. Oh! These kind of stories make me swoon!” She sighed. “That’s why I’ll help you, Keitaro.” 

I looked up at Naru’s sweet face, but along the way, my eyes sort of got sidetracked by her silky legs, her litde plaid skirt, and the tantalizing view of her tiny, white panties. 

My brain fried. 
POW! 
Naru jumped up and pulled her legs together. Her feet landed right on my crotch. It was the kind of move that would have made a pro-wrestler proud. It crushed my manhood like a worm in a winepress, let me tell you. 
I couldn’t even make a sound. I just squirmed around, tears streaming down my face. 
Naru grabbed me up by the collar and screamed, “I was talking about a good story and you were staring up my skirt!” 
“You’re the one that showed—!” 
“Showed? Me? Why would I show that to you? You dirty pig!” 

I couldn’t move. I knew she was going to punch me into the stratosphere, but I was paralyzed with pain and fear. 

Suddenly, someone screamed, a shrill feminine voice that cut through the inner lawn of the Hinata House. 

We ran toward the scream. When we arrived, we found Motoko lying unconscious on the inner lawn. 

She was wearing a pure white hakama, her samurai kimono. She had a white headband around her forehead, and Shisui in her hands. (Normally she practiced her katas with a sword replica; I had to be careful when I moved Shisui or I’d cut my fingers off.) 

“What’s wrong, Motoko?” I whispered as she blinked awake. 

“Uh . . . ah . . .” Slowly, she opened her eyes. Suddenly, Tama the hot springs turtle waddled out of the folds of her kimono. 
 
Motoko writhed. “Get it, get it, get it! Urashima, get it!” She broke out into a cold sweat and clung to me. 

“How am I supposed to . . . ?” 

Even as we spoke, Tama crawled back into the folds of Motoko’s kimono. 

“Ah! Stop! Please! Get it, get it, please!” She clung tighter to me, panting slightly. Her hands tightened on my shoulders, and her eyes glistened with tears. 

I knew she hated turtles, and she was really upset right then. I wanted to remove Tama, but at that moment, she was squirming and clinging so much, I couldn’t really move my hands. In order to get Tama out, I’d have to touch Motoko’s breasts, and frankly, I’m stupid, but not that stupid. 

But Motoko was seriously starting to freak, so I reached my hand in and . . . 

“What a lame excuse to grope a girl!” Naru said, disgusted. She pulled me away from Motoko and threw me in the pond. 

“Why me?” I whined. 
 
“Myu-myu,” Tama squeaked. He jumped out of Motoko’s kimono and, as only Tama could, flew toward the Hinata House. 
Motoko was still in shock. Her chest heaved as she took gasping breaths. It was kind of adorable. When she finally got herself under control, she insisted, “I didn’t scream because of that stupid turtle! I’m used to living with that thing by now, you know.” 
She really can be adorable. 
“Sure, Motoko,” I said, nodding. 
“No, I mean it. I screamed because of what I sensed.” 
We all stared at her. “What do you mean?” Naru asked. 
“Just recently, you and Urashima were drawn to the annex . . .” 
I tried to explain that I had actually just followed Naru to the annex, and she wasn’t drawn there, she decided to go there because of my stupid heat rash, but Motoko just plowed on. 

“We went there to save Naru,” she said. 

I wanted to remind her that they actually barged in on a giant Mecha Tama, but Motoko was on a roll. 

“And the moment we stepped foot inside, it felt. . . familiar. Nostalgic.” 

She looked far away, then continued. “After a few days, I was able to figure out why it felt so familiar. It’s very similar to the jiryoudo at my house.” 
“Jiryou . . . do?” Shinobu asked. 
“Is that some kinda food?” Suu asked. 
Motoko remained serious. “It’s a spirit-containment temple,” she clarified. “You all know that my family uses the traditional secret sword skills of the shin mei ryu. The most skilled swordsman in my family traditionally undertakes the responsibility of exorcising bad ghosts— you know, demons and evil spirits and the like.” She searched the girls’ faces. “You don’t believe me?” 
Sara blushed. “It’s so unscientific.” 

Motoko coughed, choosing to ignore that line of reasoning. “Some evil spirits wouldn’t perish, so we had no choice but to contain them. Over the generations, the temple became a place to imprison evil spirits. We called it the jiryoudo.”
 
I nodded, like I had any clue what the heck she was talking about. Bottom line: the annex had the same feeling as a prison for bad ghosts. 

Everyone gulped. 

Shinobu covered her ears and shifted her weight uncomfortably. 

“I had to wonder why the annex felt the same as the temple,” Motoko said. “To tell you the truth, I felt a strong spiritual power from Grandma Hinata. I’m not sure of the details, but I believe the shin mei ryu ancestry and the Urashima family line were somehow connected in the past. It was my destiny to study martial arts at this place.” 

I just stared at her. 

“So, maybe there was an evil spirit that the Urashima family has trapped here. Maybe it was attracted to Keitaro and his amazingly bad luck. Maybe it wished to resurrect—” 
“Forget it,” I mumbled. “No way.” 
Annoyed, Motoko pointed her sword at me. “Shut up, Urashima.” 
I flinched. “Don’t hurt me!” 
Motoko sighed. “In preparation for going into the annex, I cleansed my soul, wore pure white, and brought Shisui, but. . .” She hesitated. 
“What happened?” Kitsune asked, curious. 
Suu was bored by the story, and had fallen asleep in Motoko’s lap. Shinobu was still covering her ears. “Is it over yet?” she kept asking. 
“Come on, Motoko, what happened?” Naru pressed. 
“Actually . . .” Motoko swallowed. “When I opened the door, it looked different. The rubble was gone. The interior was clean and airy. As if someone were living there.” 
Somehow, this story sounded familiar to me. 

“For a moment, I thought Shinobu had cleaned the annex,” Motoko said, “but the ceiling and walls looked brand new. That made me suspicious. I climbed the stairs and was astounded. The hole we made in the ceiling wasn’t there!” 

I started feeling afraid. Just last week, the Mecha Tama crashed through the ceiling, two floors, and buried itself in the basement. Haruka really laid us out because there wasn’t enough money to fix the damage. 
If this were a manga, perhaps the assistant illustrator forgot to draw the hole. If it had been an anime, maybe the script writer had forgo to talk about last week’s episode. 

But this was a novel . . . No, I mean, realit yet.

“Is it over now?” Shinobu squeaked, her hands still over her ears. 

Everyone ignored her. The only sound was the clattering of Sara’s teeth. 

“Then, I heard a noise on the first floor,” Motoko continued. “Someone was there. I quickly ran downstairs. There was something near the entrance . .. I saw someone on the other side of the door . . 

Okay, I was ready to pee my pants. 

“Or at least, that’s what I sensed,” Mo toko told us. “But then, my vision went dark. It smelled raw and moldy. I squirmed and coughed.” 
Shinobu whimpered. 
“What happened then, Motoko?” Kitsune urged. “Lets just forget this story,” Sara suggested. Sara was usually the first one to make a joke out of stuff like this, but now she was pale and tense. 
“Everyone just calm down!” Naru said, but she looked like she was ready to bolt, too. 
“Narusegawa, where do you think you’re going?” I asked. 
But then I realized my own feet were leading me back in the direction of the Hinata House. 
“You guys,” Motoko said, anguished. 
“Was it Tama? Did he scare you?” Suu asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes. 
Motoko’s face gradually reddened and she hunched her shoulders. “Yes. My apologies.” 
  
So . . . So, Motoko hadn’t seen anyone in the annex—she’d just mistaken Tama for an evil spirit. 
I don’t get girls. 
We all headed toward the annex, but it looked exactly as we had left it. There was a hole in the ceiling, and rubble all over the floor. 
Motoko looked confused. Finally, she said, “I must have hallucinated. I must redo my training from the beginning.” 
She went back to her room and tried to pack her things to return to the temple, but of course, we stopped her and managed to convince her to stay. 
That night, Naru and I whispered through the hole that connected our rooms. 
 
 
“If Motoko said she hallucinated, then that’s probably what happened,” Naru said. 
I wondered. “Motoko has special spiritual powers, though. Maybe she did see something strange.” 
“Knock it off.” 
I couldn’t see her through the hole, but I could tell just by her voice that she was a little angry. “I was there all by myself, remember? There were no creepy spirits.” 
I sighed. Just the thought of Naru all alone in that building, poking around dangerous places for treasure ... it made me shiver. 
“Keitaro, please don’t make me think something was in there with me,” she pleaded. She sounded really weirded out. 
I teased her, “Who-o-o-o-o kno-o-o-o-ws? Maybe something creepy followed you back and is going to watch you while you sleep!” 
There was no answer. Was she too scared to speak? Maybe she’d be too afraid to sleep by herself, and she’d jump down through the hole, and cuddle up to me for the rest of the night. (Hey, a guy can dream, right?) I kept waiting for her to say something. 
 
 
 
I didn’t like the strange silence. 
To tell you the truth, I couldn’t just brush off Motoko’s story. I don’t really remember everything clearly, but I had a similar experience. When I wandered into the annex as a small child, the interior was pristine. Even then, it was an abandoned building. But it was tidy. And I met someone. I don’t remember her face, but I do remember it was a woman. 
I paced my room, trying to recall that lady’s face. I drew back my curtain and stared out at the old annex. 
What if I saw that woman in there? 
Okay, I was wigging out. 
Instead of worrying about the annex, I should have been worrying about Naru. Im not really afraid, but if little things bother me, Naru must be freaking out. Shes been so quiet. Maybe shes waiting for me to come to her. Gosh, she's so adorable. If she wants me to take care of her, I guess I'll have to .. . 

I stacked a bunch of books together, used them as a stepladder, and pulled myself up through the hole. “Hey, Narusegawa?” 
I saw her wriggling on the floor, her loose robe almost completely open. She was tangled up in a kimono. Her thighs, chest, belly . . . practically everything was exposed. Only tiny scraps of cloth covered her intimate parts. 
I gotta tell you, this was way sexier than seeing her totally nude. 
Most of the kimono bunched up at her feet, and somehow her obi belt was wrapped several times around her slender waist, down around her thighs, and up over her bulging breasts. She looked like she’d been tied up. It was really erotic. 
Naru struggled to remove the obi. She glared at me. “What the hell are you looking at?!” 
CRASH! RUMBLE! 
Naru Body Tackle! I tumbled headfirst back down into my room. 
“Don’t just peek in a girl’s room like that!” she yelled through the hole. 

“I’m sorry! I had no idea what you were doing!” I said. “I thought you were in danger!” 
“Danger? What do you mean?” She peered through the hole. “Quit blushing. You better not be having some weird fantasy!” 
I noticed Naru was blushing, herself. 
“I was just trying to practice wearing the hot springs kimono.” 
I laughed. “It looked like the kimono was wearing you. Why don’t you just have Aunt Haruka help you?” 
She huffed. “It’s embarrassing for a girl not to know how to wear a kimono,” Naru confessed. “I’ll have to wear it every day next week, so . . .” 
I smiled. The younger girls offered to help, and Kitsune too. Motoko said helping out was the least she could do after the annex incident. Aunt Haruka had agreed to take care of Sara while she minded the teashop. And now, with Naru at my side, I knew next week would go well. 
 
Only one problem remained. I needed to study like mad before the guests came. Sigh. 
 
“Its delicious!” I blurted out. 
Shinobu looked down and covered her blushing cheeks with her hands. She looked so happy. “Thank you, Keitaro.” 
I poked my chopsticks at all the little dishes of food laid out on the cafeteria table. Shinobu had made all sorts of things to serve the inn customers. Each delicacy tasted great, like home-cooked meals. 
“Food was my biggest concern, but now, there’s no problem!” I said. “When we open, Naru and I will help you cook and serve the guests. I’m sorry you have to wake up early in the morning to make breakfast, though.” 
“That’s okay,” Shinobu said. “But, Keitaro, are you sure we don’t have to move out of our rooms?” She fretted, even as she prepared the next dish. 
  
“Don’t you worry,” I told her. “The most we’ll get is three groups in one day. We can just put everyone in the north building’s vacant rooms. Besides, if we tried to clean up the south building, Suu’s room alone would take about a thousand days.” 
Suu’s room was like a tropical jungle. She had a bunch of plants and trees growing everywhere. Steam from the boiler room leaked over into her bedroom. It was practically a sauna. Cleaning up the mold and plants and all that would require a lot of effort. 
“That’s true,” Shinobu agreed. 
Suddenly, an arm popped out of nowhere. A greedy hand stole some food. 
“Eeek!” Shinobu squealed. 
“Suu?” I gasped. She’d climbed up next to the cutting board, and was stealing some of Shinobu’s samples. 
“I heard you guys mention me,” she said. 
“Well ...” I trailed off. 
“As punishment for your gossiping, I will confiscate Shinobu’s yummy food!” She chortled. “Oooh, this heart-shaped rice ball looks good!” 
 
She swiped the rice ball up. It was covered in pink sprinkles. It looked like it took a long time to make. 
Vaguely, I wondered who Shinobu wanted to give a heart-shaped rice ball to. 
“No! Suu! That’s not a sample item!” Shinobu pleaded. “No, please!” 
But Suu gulped it down and grinned. 
Shinobu dropped to her knees weakly. “Oh dear.” 
“That was tasty!” Suu patted Shinobu’s head. “But now it’s my turn with you, Keitaro!” 
She pushed me out of the cafeteria. I saw Shinobu sit there, still in shock, watching us as we left. 
 
The women’s bath and the main pool area was drastically different. Suu had planted a bunch of exotic, mysterious flowers and plants. There were banana and coconut trees, papaya and kiwi sprouts, etc. In addition to Tama, other tropical creatures I’d never seen before were crawling about. In the middle of one pond was a statue of a 

“Do you like what I’ve done with the place?” Suu looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. 

But I said, “Rejected!” 

“Why?” she whined. “Why, why, why? It looks like a theme park! Isn’t that cool?” 

Suu jumped on my shoulders and wrapped her legs around my neck. She pulled my hair. (In case you were wondering, I am not, in fact, a horse, and I don’t like being treated as such.) 

“Suu,” I said, struggling not to drop her. “All the customers are grownups. They’re coming to the hot springs to relax and wash away the grime and fatigue of everyday life. A theme park isn’t exactly—” 

“I know all that!” Suu insisted, pulling my clothes off. She pushed me face-down into the wash area. “Keitaro, your skin is so soft,” she cooed. “And you have a cute butt!” 

“What?!” I cried. 
 
“Okay, act like a customer about to receive my special services! Ready? Go!” She started to massage me. Thank God I wasn’t completely naked. Look, Suu was a junior high school student. She was just innocently playing with me. But I’m a red-blooded male. It was very hard for me not to get carried away. 
“Okay. We’re gonna get the grime off you in no time!’ Suu said. She slowly began to wriggle against me. 
I’ve only ever seen this sort of thing in magazines and videos. It was the kind of dance girls did in certain “specialty stores.” You know, where the girl uses her own body to massage and wash the guy’s body? 
Oh wow. It’s heaven. Where did you learn this trick, Suu? I thought. My, how you’ve grown . . . 
BROOOOOM BROOOOOM BROOOOM! 
I heard an engine start. Suddenly, my back felt like it was on fire. Something scraped against me—it felt like sandpaper! 
“OW! Suu, that’s too rough!” I screamed. 
“Does it feel good, Keitaro?” she shouted over the noise. 
I glanced over my shoulder. Suu was squatting down, a maniacal grin on her face. She’d placed some sort of mechanical invention on my back. 
“This is the Uki-uki Aka-suri Machine. I call it Asura!” 
I squealed. 
A strange robot, which had three faces and a zillion little appendages, was clinging to my back. The engine roared.' Scrubber brushes attached to the appendages twirled at a super speed. This thing looked like it could take off a layer or two of skin! 
“Help meeee!” I tried to stand up, but Asura’s appendages wrapped around me and pressed me down harder. “Ugh!” 
I squirmed, rolling around like a potato worm, trying to make it to the bath. 
SPLOOSH! Asura and I splashed into the pool. Asura’s grip loosened and I freed myself. Gasping, I clawed my way to the surface. 
“A-a-achoo! I’m safe, right?” 
 
Suddenly, something poked me, right in the crotch. “Huh? What. . . ?” It wasn’t Asura. It was a fish! 
Suu came to the edge of the bath and bragged, “I studied a book about fish! The bream and flatfish will dance for you!” 
“Oh. The bream and flatfish are harmless, but . . . But, Suu! If you put a fish in a hot spring, it’ll get cooked in no time!” 
I grabbed a fish and pulled it out of the water. But then I realized, it wasn’t a bream or flatfish at all. It was long, with a large mouth and shiny black eyes. 
“Well,” Suu said, “bream and flatfish were expensive, so I got some hot springs fish from my homeland!” 
“H-h-hot springs fish?” 
She nodded. “They can live in hot water. I’m sure the customers will like them. There’s just one tiny problem . . 
POKE! POKE! CHOMP! CHOOMP! 
 
“Ow!” I pulled one of my legs out of the water—a bunch of hot springs fish were biting down on me! 
“Don’t tell me these little buggers are carnivorous?!” 
“Bingo!” 
“Yaaaah!” I scrambled out of the bath and checked to make sure I still had all my toes. “Freaking maneating fish!” 
Suu looked disappointed. “They’re no good?” 
I was about to reply, when the goddess statue wobbled from side to side, then started to slowly walk toward us. 
“Awesome!” Sara said. She waved her hands out of the goddess’ mouth. How about this, Keitaro? Its the Otohime Robot! I modeled it after that turtle-girl in Okinawa!” 
(This past spring, after I failed my entrance exam yet again, I took a trip to ease my grief. I met a girl named Mutsumi Otohime. She kissed me. . . but why was I thinking about all that right now?) 
I was speechless. The Otohime Robot approached me. It suddenly lost its balance. I stood there as the mechanical goddess tumbled toward me. 
 
 
 
“Wow, talk about bad luck!” 
Kitsune, who was sitting next to me, roared with laughter. 
I stared at the food tray in front of me. After I told Suu and Sara that they would have to clean up the bath area, I informed them that I wanted to practice my customer service, and I returned to the managers room. 
“Aw. Are you tired?” Kitsune asked. “Shall I rub your shoulders?” 
No! It’s okay, really,” I said quickly. After being massaged by a psychotic robot, gnawed on by hot springs’ piranhas, and almost squished by a statue, I wasn’t really up for any more physical contact. 
 
“Relax,” Kitsune whispered. “Today, you’re playing the role of a customer, right?” 

Slowly, she massaged my shoulders. I grumbled, but it actually felt kinda good. Its nice, I mumbled. 

“Really? I hope the customers enjoy it too.” 

I nodded. “They will, I’m sure. But do we really want to offer massages?” 

“What are you saying?” Kitsune asked, stopping cold. “A business is a business, even if it’s only for four days! And most of the folks are elderly, trying to enjoy their retirement life! Tsk, tsk!” 

Kitsune’s comment made me a little uneasy, but I just concentrated on the soft sensations of her touch as she resumed massaging me. 

“Please, have a drink.” She poured me a glass. “Wow. You’re a pro at this.” 

I took a sip, but immediately spit it out. “This is real alcohol!” 

“Of course. I was planning on sharing that!” 

I sighed. “This is just practice, remember? What’s the point of making me drink real liquor?” 
 
 
“Quit worrying so much,” Kitsune said. “Here, have some more.” She poured another drink, then leaned close to me. 
I confess I was getting aroused. In an effort to calm down, I kept drinking until my eyes started glazing over. 
Kitsune was wearing the employee kimono, but the front was wide open, accenting her ample cleavage. Occasionally, 1 glimpsed her legs, too. It was kind of cool to see a girl in an authentic kimono. 
When Kitsune noticed I was checking her out, she chuckled and took my cup away. Then she took my right hand and brought it to her left sleeve. “Did you know?” she whispered. 
“What?” 
When you wear a kimono formally, you’re not supposed to put on any underwear.” 
I gulped. “Oh really?” 
 
“You wanna check for yourself? It’s pretty exciting, isn’t it? To put your hand in here.” She guided my right hand inside her sleeve .. . farther .. . farther ... farther up. 
“That tickles!” she said, giggling. “You need to go deeper, Keitaro. Come on, almost there.” 
“Ki-Kitsune ...” I didn’t know what to do, so I just wiggled my fingers. “I wonder, as your friend, if I should really continue . . . ?” 
Just then, the door sliced diagonally into two halves and crumbled apart. 
“Whoa!” I yelped. 
Motoko and Narusegawa stood outside. Naru glared at me with dark, shining eyes. “Urashima!” she hissed. “Having yourself a blast?” 
“No, it was Kitsune’s idea!” I babbled. 
But Kitsune had taken cover in a corner. She called out, “I told him how I was trying to earn money from the customers. I was showing him stuff worth five thousand—no—ten thousand yen!” 
I looked at her like she was crazy. What the hell was she plotting? Why was she trying to make all this out to be my fault? 
 
“Oh, we totally understand, Kitsune,” Motoko said coldly, turning on me. “Urashima. I want to show you something.” 
I swallowed. “What’s that, Motoko?” Please not Shisui. Please not Shisui. 
I was thinking I could please the customers,” she said, drawing Shisui high over her head, “with a traditional sword dance.” 
Ah ... I t-t-think t-t-that’s a little hardcore,” I said. 
“You will watch me perform!” Motoko commanded. 
She swung the blade down, and an eerie energy aura surrounded it. I tried to run away, but Naru grabbed my arm. I hid behind her. 
“Narusegawa, help!” I whispered. 
“Keitaro?” she said sweetly. 
“Yes?” 
“Die!” she bellowed. 
 
She swung me around and sent me flying straight toward Motoko. The sword swiped sideways and hurled me out the window. “Ahhhhhhh!” 
As I fell back toward Earth, I wondered if I d manage to survive until the inn opened.