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Love Hina - Volume 2 - Chapter 1.3




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CHAPTER 3: GONE WILD
 
Several nights later, Naru was in the Hinata House hot springs.

“Mm, tnis feels nice . . she cooed. She was neck-deep in the soothing water, completely relaxed. 

The hot liquid warmed her body to the core. It helped her mine! and body unwind. Naru spread both her arms and legs. It wasn’t ladylike at all, but she didn’t care. There was no one else around. 

But between her spread legs, bubbles floated up and broke at the surface. 

“Huh . . . 

She hadn’t farted . . . Naru had no idea where the bubbles came from. 
 
“What’s going on?” Naru wondered. 

Just then, a large column of frothing water shot up. 

“Eek!” 

Mecha Keitaro s head suddenly surfaced, grinning. 

The veins in Narus forehead pulsed. “What are you doing here, you creep?!” She punched Mecha Keitaro powerfully out of reflex. But this time, Mecha Keitaro emitted a force shield to block Naru’s fist. 

“Eh?” 

Naru noticed too late, and she accidentally touched the force shield. The next moment a powerful surge of energy splintered down Narus arm. “Owwwww!” 

Naru’s body sparked while she screamed. 

If t his were an -okh car t oon, her skele t on would, have shown through from the inside. Naru was burnt to a crisp, smoke streaming out her ears as she fell face-forward into the hot water. 

Suu ran in. “Hey, its here!” 

Sara arrived right behind her, then noticed Naru floating in the water. “He got one!” she exclaimed, then peered closer at Naru. “Is she dead?” 

Naru recovered, sputtering and splashing. “I’m not dead!” she bellowed. 

“What the heck are you guys up to this time?” 
 
“Nothing,” Suu said. “Mecha Keitaro moved on its own,” Suu and Sara both nodded earnestly. 

They convinced Naru, but a new question surfaced. 

“We don’t know why it did this,” Suu said. “Maybe the brain has some sort of bug.” 

I hen, Mecha Keitaro made some electrical clicking sounds and looked at Naru. Its voice hiccupped, “I . . . L . . . 
 
Suu and Sara were bewildered. “It spoke!” they said in unison. 

Suu scratched her head. “Why, though?” she said. “We didn’t type in any voice commands.” 

Naru felt a chill run down her spine. It wasn’t because she was completely naked. Well, maybe a little. But her shock caused the real shivers. 

“Don’t tell me it said ‘I love . . .’ she began, then stopped. She couldn’t finish the sentence. She suddenly realized that the voice commands she had typed in days before weren’t deleted after all. When Mutsumi forced the computer to shut down, Naru’s data had become like a bug in the system. 

Suu switched on her remote control and tried to turn off Mecha Keitaro. “Drat!” she said, “it won’t listen to my commands.” 

Mecha Keitaro bobbed in the water, whirring and clicking. “I. . . LO . . . VE .. . I . . . LO . . . VE. . . I.. . LO . . , VE . . It was pronouncing the words Naru had typed in more clearly now. 

Naru grabbed Mecha Keitaro’s head, trying to put her hands over its mouth. “No!” 

She couldn’t let anyone hear something so embarrassing, and she sure didn’t want anyone to know that she had tried to make Mecha Keitaro say that, either. 

“Don’t, Naru!” Suu cried. But just as Suu shouted her warning, something glistened between Mecha Keitaro’s legs. 

“Eh?” 

The clanging metallic sound indicated that the plasma beam launcher in the crotch area had been turned to attack mode. Shiny atomic particles concentrated in the center of the muzzle, glowing red. 

PWEEEEM! 

A ring of beaming light shot out of the cannon; it looked like something out of an old sci-fi movie. It was extremely powerful—it completely vaporized a rock in the hot springs.
 
The girls all dove for cover as the charger turned and whirred. 

“Yikes! Is it recharging?” Naru asked. 

“It doesn’t have to!” Suu replied. “It can shoot continuously!” 

As if demonstrating, the plasma cannon went PWEEEM! PWEEEM! PWEEEM! It fired in rapid succession, frying random trees, rocks, a wooden bench . . . The girls scrambled away from the vicious, if not exacdy accurate, attack. 

“Suu, why’d you put a real weapon on that thing?!” Naru yelled. 

“We thought it’d be cool or something!” Sara said. 

“We put the weapon on it,” Suu added, “but we also programmed it so that it considers everything in sight to be its enemy.” 

“What?!” Naru yowled. “Then what the heck are we supposed to do about it?” 
 
“Run, I think!” Suu cried. “We can only run away at the moment!” 

Mecha Keitaro whirled, a cheesy grin on its face. The plasma cannon glowed. 

The three girls barely made it out of the hot springs unscathed. 

Back inside, Naru threw on some clothes and then stormed into Suus room. 

Inside were new weapons such as heavy machine guns and grenade launchers, and also the usual weapons, like a Panzer Faust and some pineapple grenades. They were ail lined up in neat rows, like an armory stock shelf. Naru was furious. 

“Are you nuts?” she said. “That thing could zap us all!” 

“Well, my bad, I guess,” Suu mumbled. Her back was toward Naru, but she sounded really serious. 


“Well, duh!” Naru said. “What are we going to do about this?”
 
Suu turned. “I feel bad for Mecha Keitaro, but we need to fight back. I’m sad, but a scientist needs to take responsibility.” 

She looked at Sara. “Lets go!” 
 
Sara grinned. “All right!” she said. “For the future of science!” 

Suu and Sara grabbed weapons. They had huge smiles on their faces. It had been a while since they were allowed to let loose, so they were elated. 

Naru nodded. “Count me in, I guess. As manager of Hinata House, I have a responsibility to protect the residents.” While that wasn’t exactly a lie, she really just wanted to destroy Mecha Keitaro before it uttered those embarrassing words in front of someone. 

“Look at this ” Suu showed them another machine she was working on. It was a portable radar unit. The Hinata House and the surrounding structures were shown on the screen and a red, blinking dot indicated Mecha (ei taro’s position. 

“What is that?” Naru asked. She pointed at four blue dots going toward the red dot. 

Blue dots are life forms.” Suu explained. “Life forms . . . Don’t tell me!” 
 
Shinobu, Kitsune, Motoko, and Mutsumi were going to the hot springs to bathe together, totally clueless. 

Naru grabbed whatever weapon she could find and said, “Lets go save them!” 

“Time for war!” Suu shouted. 

“Yeah!” Sara joined in. 

The three girls headed toward the hot springs. But it was already too late. 

Shinobus and Mutsumis eyes were glazed over. Motoko was frozen in place, still holding a sword—she probably had an allergic reaction to the mecha’s turtle-like lower body. Kitsune was swinging from a branch on a nearby tree, a victim of Mecha Keitaro’s attacks. 

“Sara, help everyone out!” Naru said. “Suu, where is Mecha Keitaro?” 

“It ain’t here no more.” Suu answered, and by way of proof she showed Naru the portable radar. On the screen, the red dot was moving around inside the Hinata House. 

“What’s he doing?” Naru asked, looking perplexed. “That’s not a hallway.” 

“It doesn’t need one,” Suu said. “Mecha Keitaro is using the secret passages throughout the building to move about.” 

But as they watched the screen the red dot suddenly disappeared. 
 
“Drat!” Suu hissed. “Theres too many obstacles blocking the radar signals.” 

And so, Mecha Keitaros whereabouts were now unknown. 

Fortunately, the crew soon recovered from the attack. It was already past ten o’clock, and the Hinata House was eerily silent. Naru and the girls gathered in the cafeteria to discuss their options. 

Motoko held her sword tightly. “We must take care of it as soon as possible.” 

Everyone agreed. But they’d reached a dead end. 
 
“So, how do we do that?” Shinobu asked. 

Suu and Sara had a clear plan. “We fight!” they said. “Fight for freedom and peace!” 

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t much of a plan. Kitsune easily shot the two girls down. 

“Wait up. That thing’s so strong it kicked our butts,” she said. “You guys and Nam are the violent types, so that’s fine, but what about the weak and helpless ones, like me?” 

Suu and Sara took offense. “What a nice compliment,” Sara said. 

Suu added, “We’re not violent, just enthusiastic.” 

“Totally,” Sara said, and nodded. 

“Excuse me,” Naru interrupted, also feeling defensive. “Exactly how am I violent?!” 
 
Mutsumi snorted. “Oh please, Naru, don’t get us started.” She mimed a Naru Punch, and the other girls giggled. 

Naru slumped her shoulders. 

Motoko also objected, for what it was worth. “She’s not violent, just strong . . . More to the point, I regret that I cannot defeat Mecha Keitaro.” Motoko shuddered at the image of Mecha Keitaro s lower body. 

“It’s too . . . icky.” 

“Besides, we don’t even know where Mecha Keitaro is, right?” Naru pointed out. “We can’t fight it if we don’t know its whereabouts.” 

“We can if we bait him . . .” Sara responded. 

The others looked at her. They all murmured, “Bait?” 

“If there’s something he likes, then we use that as bait to trap him.” 
 
“That’s it!” Kitsune yelled. The word ‘bait’ triggered her trickster brain into scheming. “I’ve got a great idea!” 

Kitsune gathered everyone and whispered her plan on how to defeat Mecha Keitaro, the operation would begin at eleven forty-five. The chosen location was the area between the stairs and front entrance of the Hinata House, the better to minimize damage. 

The girls split into two teams. The first was the violent team ... or at least the team with the most firepower. Naru, Suu, and Sara were selected for that. 

Mo toko, the shin mei ryu expert swordswoman, usually would have been included in the fight, but since the turtle-like lower body of Mecha Keitaro creeped her out (and reduced her strength significantly), she was not on the violent team. 

Naru’s group fanned out and set all sorts of booby traps. They ranged from barbaric ones like pitfalls and swinging logs to high-tech weapons like magnetic mines and laser beams. Of course, they were also personally armed to the teeth. 

As for the other team, they were armed in a slightly different way. 

“This is sooooo embarrassing.” Teary-eyed, Shinobu whimpered. She was wearing an extremely skimpy swimsuit. Of course, Shinobu wasn’t the only one—Motoko, Kitsune, and Mutsumi were also wearing unquestionably sexy swimsuits, flashing almost everything. 

“Don’t cry, Shinobu,” Motoko said. 

“This is the only thing we could do, since we cannot join in the fight.”
 
“But ... I feel stupid!” Shinobu whimpered. “Do I have to do this? 

“Were the bait for Mecha Keitaro,” Kitsune said. “If its pattern of behavior imitates the stupidity and pervertedness of the real Keitaro, it can’t help but fall for this bait.” She wiggled her butt in emphasis. 

It was a bold plan, as weird plans go. But it did have a few quirky details. 

“Look on the bright side,” Mutsumi said. “At least because of Suu’s invention, we’re not cold.” 

She plucked a thin iridescent material from the shiny surface of her arm—cold weather skin suits, made of nearly invisible film only a few microns thick, were given to the girls acting as bait. Just because they were exposed to lifethreatening danger, Suu reasoned, didn’t mean that they should have to suffer the cold. So the plan sounded practical, yet somehow idiotic at the same time. 

But strangely, it seemed to be going well. At least at first. 

“Look!” Sara squealed. “Its reacting!” She was hiding in the shadows, holding the portable radar unit. She showed the screen to Suu. The blinking red dot was definitely moving from the south section of the main building toward the front entrance.



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